Who should Prince Harry have married?

He isn't really a royal. Charles is NOT his father, so it doesn't matter WHOM he married.

FF.

Chelsy. They were the perfect match. Everyone knows that.

They’d have been happy as pigs in shit, relocating to S. Africa and living out their days shooting game and what have you. Pity the press and the Palace wouldn’t leave them alone to get on with it.

So it's the "press and Palace" fault Harry is a dim asshole who continuously cheated on her? She dodged a damn bullet.

Since he's actually bisexual he should have married a guy.

He'd be a beloved role model in the UK now if he'd done that. Everyone would be "We love our gay 🤴!"

What happens to all the ladies in waiting when a prince outsources?

Chelsy deserved better, but I doubt Harry could've done any better.

On paper Chelsea and Haz were well suited, and his family still loves her, but I'm happy for her that she didn't choose a life of misery with him.

Anyone but the psycho he married.

That picture at R1 is just gross. I get that they're both dickamatized, but that's just revolting. And that's just the tongue action - not even talking about the unfortunate tats

Tbf, Harry is a fucking mess, so the odds never were in his favor. Personality-wise, he doesn't differ that much from his wife.

He totally deserves Meghan and she totally deserves him.

R2, thanks for reminding me to ff YOU, cunt.

R10 agreed. Between the four of them how many STDs do you count?

R5

OP's picture raises so many questions.

Why does one girl look like she took a dip in an oil spill? And the other looks like she's an extra from Blade?

Why are they sucking the essences of these poor saps?

Is the sound of their combined leather crunching at their every move not too distracting?

Why is this used to illustrate a post about Harry?

R7 for the win.

Were they both abused by stepfathers?

It is clearly pointless to remind the Hewitt psychos that Harry looks ever more like Charles and Philip. Whilst his twice blessed brother looks like Harry's idolised Mum, that Diana's sister had red hair, and that Diana would not in a million years have endangered her or her kids' positions that way. She had a quiet miscarriage between the two boys, they were obviously working on the spare.

That bony nose and beady close-set eyes are pure Mountbatten.

Has anyone else seen these very odd photos of Harry at the latest polo match? Scroll down the page in LSA for the others. I couldn't copy the photos themselves.

Er, amongst these, the moobs, and the cheek spreading photos, all from polo matches, as they know they are being watched, my sense that Harry is close to a psychotic break is becoming ever stronger.

lolololololol

I can't put my finger on it --- her legs are soooooo weird.

She's a dwarf, haha.

Stop linking to lipstick alley, frau.

Meghan knows someone is taking her photo.

Here's another polo outfit that's questionable.

I love how the horse in the back is taking a dump.

Look at the second pic out of the three:

She still has that pouch. It's pretty safe to say by now she'll never get of that flab naturally (i.e. without lipo).

And she totally knows she's getting photographed. The pose is soooo staged, it's pure cringe.

We can't see the Lipstick Alley links because it rewuriesa log in, and we all have penises here.

R21, they are. Her legs are twigs from the knees down. Her ankles are toothpicks. And she has big feet. Very odd, indeed.

Smeg has no neck and no waist AT ALL.

His crotch is stained, it looks like he's begging her for something in his knees, she doesn't come near him but walks away, and he stands up holding his arms out as she does so . . . Is it just me or did something really sick go down here?

R28 Sorry, I saw the photos in the actual comments, not through a link, didn't realise . . .

R27 she weirdly looks like the Dutchess of Windsor there.

She calls the paps herself. No one comes otherwise. She is so freaking homely. It's comical how off she is on how people really see her.

r24 She looks fat. "LA fat" anyway.

[quote]Who should Prince Harry have married?

Tom "Skippy" Inskip

[quote] She is so freaking homely. It's comical how off she is on how people really see her.

[quote]She looks fat.

Meghan is now exceedingly unattractive. Actions and appearances have morphed her into a mash of adipose tissue and an odd body habitus.

R3 Chelsy Is in business, I believe with jewelry and travel. She is a university graduate. Chelsy was not a good match for dim Harry.

R14 👀

😆 r31

Chelsey also has a law degree and is filthy rich with a filthy rich father. She just married her beau quietly and they have an infant son.

Both Chelsy's and Cressida's husbands are better looking than Harry has ever been.

The two women are living fantastic lives, whilst Meghan and Harry spend most of their time fighting negative PR, desperately trying to matter outside his family connections, suing newspapers, obsessing about rank and titles, cut off from all extended family, and frantically trying to stay rich.

Meghan is saddled with managing an angry man-child with mental issues and moobs who gets uglier by the month.

Chelsy and Cressida knew who they were and their lives reflect that.

Harry and Meghan are still clinging to hugely inflated views of themselves that keep bumping up against reality. So they'll never be as happy as they wer woud have been if they'd only realised how perfect for for their terribly ordinary selves that royal gig was.

As that other Harry once said, "A man's got to know his limitations."

R31 he loves to get pegged by her and she uses his kinky fetishes to her (financial) advantage.

"Please, dahhhling, peg me again!" -- "Only if you sign over your entire inheritance to me!"

A doormat

A nanny, preferably a leggy and blonde one.

A faggot

R43 - He should have visited the Young England kindergarten to check out the teacher's aides . . .

Lady Boy George

He should have married the daughter of an aristocrat who knew her place, And who could accept the fact she was marrying a dumbass in exchange for being a member of the BRF.

R47 I tried, I really did.

Rose McGowan

Sparkle's black and white halves were totally descended from slaves! Surely not her.

The news today that the MOD has handed the contract for TEAM UK for participants in the Invictus Games to the Royal British Legion, taking it away from Help for Heroes which works with the IGs, explains why Harry met with the Defence Minister whilst in The Hague.

HFH has been mired in embezzlement issues and it also was clear that the Harkles used the IGs nearly entirely as a platform for material for their Netflix paymasters and self-promotion.

The Queen is the RBL's patron. So what this shift means is another removal of a centerpiece of Harry's Good Works and placing it within a royal connection that he can't use.

When the Queen is raptured, this high level patronage and its connection to the IGs will be given to another high profile working royal.

So this was another Fuck You Harry and bad PR note. Interestingly, the announcement by MOD contained the quiet little phrase along the lines of "We wish to make it clear that we dud not take this decision on our own . . ." And then some natter about contracts.

This reeks, and lends more context to Harry's shit face and willingness to throw stones at his father and brother in that NBC interview after the IGs.

Rather stupidly, as MOD is the government, not the monarchy.

Ah, but Harry is suing the government, right.

Work it out.

So on that trip he got the No Balcony or No Something Else he expected, and a nice little boot up his jacksie from the government he so stupidly tried to strong arm.

Why does Meghan wear shorts when she has ugly birdlegs? Just looks weird, especially because she's chunky.

R52 have you forgotten she's got LEGS FOR MILES?

lolololol

She looks like Spongebob Squarepants in them, R52.

Chelsea Davy looks trashy but fun - just like Harry

Harry got just what he deserved.

R53 she's a shortass too. She's got legs for centimeters.

A white person

Given the latest story about the docu-reality show they've been forced to do for Netflix to get their money . . . a barmaid from any local would have been better.

Meghan Markle has been nothing but a disaster for poor beknighted Harry.

Think of Harry as poor Renfield to her Dracula.

R55 - She was adorable. Sunny and funny and unself-conscious. And she wasn't trashy: she got a raw deal from the tabloids who painted her as a party girl, but in fact she was in London to study, got a law degree, set up and runs a successful business, and has a stunning home in South Africa. Her husband is right out of the Eton Oxbridge London School of Business Hyphenated Name Club.

I imagine that amidst her grateful prayers that she didn't marry Harry, she is also looking on sadly at what's become of him - reality shows for Netflix, one bad PR flub after another, on the outs with his family, totally dependent on that blood-sucker, the horrible bald lake on his head surrounded by frizzy red hair, the moobs, the expanding paunch . . .

I'd feel sorry for him but he's caused too much pain to others.

Cressida and Chelsy were fantastic catches. Harry is a fucked up moron.

Which of the pair (Cressida and Chelsy) was the one that Harry supposedly called right before his wedding to tell them he couldn't see them again.

Wasn't that the same one excluded from the post wedding party?

R61 that was Chelsy

Don't know. Don't care. He's no catch and never was. He's dense and bad-tempered.

Jezus. " Harry supposedly called..." Sure, frau.

R64

I couldn't stand the way Chelsy's name was spelled but I will say they always looked so happy together. Maybe it's because they were always drunk, but still.

I'd rather die than have to spend a minute with these fools

Both William and Harry attempted to go after aristo women, but those girls had their own status and money and didn’t want to deal with the public demands and the smile and wave BS. Cressida came close, but then was apparently bored to tears with Harry and his issues. Kate Middleton was willing to put up with the public relations crap to marry up - she likes the private perks. Meghan Markle was willing to put up with Harry for the fame - she likes the public perks.

And I agree with R66, ha.

R55, she looks like Miss Tara Reid in that photo.

William and Kate met quite early on., there were no "Aristotle women".

^ whatever you say

He should've been prevented from besmirching the holy sacrament of matrimony in the first place.

r69, she lacks the tragic tits of the lovely Tara

Isn’t there a Danish royal he could’ve married? I know many people who are still agog that he went native and now he has those two pickaninnies.

Judging by the pics we've got from them, these two 'pickaninnies' are as white as a sheet of paper, so please fuck off.

Meghan needs a full length mirror, or even a 3 sided one. White shorts? Talk about delusional, psychotic break. Look in a full length mirror, biatch. If you can't see what you look like, get your eyes checked! You have to be at least as thin as Kate to wear those. And what is up with her really big knobby knees.? Looks so weird. Capri pants could solve that. Ones that are mid calf make your legs look longer & are a bit on trend right now. My sister just got a pair & wore them to lunch. Made her look like she had legs for miles, which she doesn't.

But the real question is: How much lipo & fillers can she fit in before the Jubbly? She better hopes she doesn't overdue the fillers, since her face will look like an overinflated balloon ala Tommy Cruise last year. She has to know the Paps will be shooting every unflattering, humiliating photo they can & getting mega bucks for them. The more awful she looks the more they will get. She has to know this. Paps sure got some zingers at the Hague & that was in Holland. Imagine what they will do to her in Old Blighty! Whoa! Wonder if she'll flee early like she did from the Hague.

There's a story in the London Sunday Times today saying a mystery now hangs over his tell-all book. It was due to come out in the autumn, but now the date has been put back. Likely so he's not accused of seeking to damage his grandmother's jubilee. But given he's signed the contract, will Me-again demand that won't reneg on it? Meanwhile, the filming of their ridiculous series for Netflix continues.

NO CAPRIS, frau, especially on a short woman. Even tall thin Catherine would look terribke in them.

Jobson’s book on William (which was one of the most confusingly written and poorly edited things I’ve read in a long time, must have been a rush job) had an interesting tidbit without context about Harry’s book - Jobson, in making the point that Diana died when the boys were still young, said Harry was conducting extensive research on Diana while working on his book. No mention of how Jobson learned that or what it is supposed to hint at.

Having just spotted another Marilyn Monroe thread, that was a woman who suited capri pants. Maybe it needs tiny waist/big tits combo to look good?

William is already getting his face minted on legal tender. Has someone asked Harry if he's ok?

Looks like he’s smelling cookies

In retrospect, Harry should have married the princess of Ukraine.

Lizzo

He should have put a red wig on his right hand, called it Koo, and never married anything else.

Either Jack Grealish or one of his Polo ponies, Oh wait, don't think he has the liquid cash for his own stable of ponies for his latest public affectation. OK, Then Grealish, What? Grealish doesn't want him either. Well stick with Meghan, she's got his balls after all.

Harry is not intellectual, very emotional, impulse control issues, probably unknowingly spoiled from being raised royal, into sporty/army type physical stuff. His match is not going to be someone sophisticated or brainy or even with it.

The Kennedy grandchild who married Chris Pratt might have worked - she seems a bit dim and is probably used to bro behavior from her dad. The religion might have been an issue. Harry would have liked the attention and storyline of American royal + British royal.

Jennifer Lawrence?

I wouldn’t be surprised if Taylor Swift had tried to land him at some point, after she chased after a Kennedy herself.

He should have married Miss Piggy, or Olivia Newton-John.

A British inbred

Photo looks like a still from a fourway swingers porn video.

They are all a bunch of attention seeking hot messes.

An Englishwoman like Katie Hopkins

A British woman

I imagine there are all kinds of eligible ladies from old European royal houses. Bavaria, Hanover, Prussia, etc. I realize he’s probably distantly related to some of them, but that’s not really anything to be concerned about.

Princess Madeleine of Sweden.

He needed a Queen Mother type... someone with at least affection for him, who he either did love or thought he loved deeply, but a woman who understood his failings, and quietly but unrelentingly helped steer him toward better than he is by instinct or inclination. She would have been beloved within the family and the institution and treated quite generously. It actually wouldn't have been that hard to make something decent out of him, if you were a stable personality. A stable family and feeling of emotional security and contentment would have made his various grievances manageable. I think he's the type who wants to be happy, he just doesn't know how.

A European cousin to bring back hemophilia

Alexei Nikolaevich, Tsarevich of Russia was born with haemophilia. He was the youngest child and only son of Emperor Nicholas II and Empress Alexandra Feodorovna. His parents were second cousins through a great-grandmother, Princess Wilhelmina of Baden, and they were third cousins once removed through Frederick William II of Prussia, who was Alix's great-great-grandfather and Nicholas's great-great-great-grandfather.

Yeah, Harry seems easily led. If he'd married someone who was invested in the BRF and encouraged him to value his position and duties, he might never have walked away.

Plus Meghan is just butt ugly

Anyone who wouldn't have publicly deballed him.

Harry chose the right person; Meghan is wonderful.

KLAN GRANNY THREAD F AND F

OP He should have married you obviously. Have i gotten you right?

Joan Collins. Mature, British, successful and can suck a golf ball through a water hose.

[quote] Who should Prince Harry have married?

Whoever he wanted.

A British faggot

R96, while it's still not something to disregard, hemophilia is no longer a serious threat to life if treated properly.

Well, he did 7 we can see how well this has worked out. Maybe old style royalty arranged marriages for the..ahem, cough, 'less intellectually graced' members was the tried & trued method. Cause the Haz & Megs show sure looks like a Sh*t Show to me, complete with red noses & clown cars.

Only retarded people use the phrase 'shitshow'.

Quite frankly, the dolt should never have married. Ever. He could have continued to wreak havoc in his sexual and romantic life, be the train wreck that he is, with The Palace to pick up the pieces, as they did for him in his teens and twenties.

We didn't hear about it much, but Chelsy Davy hated the media scrutiny she received as Harry's girlfriend. She certainly didn't want a life of that shit to the nobody sixth in line, who eventually will be much further down the line. She like Harry but not the bullshit that went with him.

...such as repeated cheating. drunken outbursts and arrogant dumbness.

R108 Only the uneducated use the word retarded.

That’s an interesting thought. Europe has so many minor noble families. Someone must have had a presentable daughter, good pedigree, dutiful (ie, not too bright), understands the protocol, willing to upgrade…

Maybe Princess Caroline tried to flog her daughter off on Harry but she kept screwing around and getting pregnant. Princess Grace was desperate to marry Caroline off to Charles.

A lady from a noble family like his father's first wife

A royal cousin to continue the British Royal Family tradition of inbreeding

His current wife you moron?

He’s not husband material.

Obviously hsi current wife is just right! He is eunuch material & she's just the gal who made that magic happen.

R3, they do look lovely together. Like equals. He seems relaxed and beyond happy in that picture.

I've never seen him have that pure joy with Meghan. He either walking behind her or she's clutching his hand for dear life to keep him in his place.

Either way, he always looks tense and putting on a brave front.

Zawe Ashton- she's Meghan Markle, but if everything was tailor made just right to marry Harry.

Mr. T.

A descendant of deplorable Nazis like Princess Michael of Kent

R121 I am now imagining Tom Hiddleston and Meghan in a relationship...I think the world would have imploded at the sheer combined earnest/narcissist cringe.

Both of Harry's long-term GF revealed info proving that he's an extremely selfish, immature jerk & a complete cad. For example Harry was invited to a friend's wedding in the US and required his GF to pay her own way if she wanted to accompany him.

She did so not wanting the result if she didn't go along. That would have been sordid tales of Harry's many drunken flings in the paps. She didn't want the humiliation of pictures of her BF grabbing different women in the DM either.

BlindGossip has reveals of how Harry used his Royal status to repeatedly avoid rape charges while in the military. Yes he's known as a serial abuser of young women.

[quote] that Diana's sister had red hair,

Actually, BOTH her sisters, as well as her father and her brother (who now has grey hair), have or had red hair.

Red hair is a famous Spencer family characteristic going back generations.

A British model

Kendall Jenner

Chelsy had her phone hacked into over a period of 5 years - was a horror to live with that. This came out with that big hacking scandal with the News of the World (was that the rag?)

She was hunted and didn't want that life.

I wouldn't either if Harry was in it.

Kiko Mizuhara

Avril Lavigne the Princess of Pop Punk

Yasmin Finney

I don’t think buying your own plane ticket to go to a wedding of a mutual friend is so onerous. They weren’t married. She could afford it. Sure he could have offered to pay for it but he wasn’t obligated. She sounds entitled.

R134 = Harry

Paris Jackson the daughter of the Prince of Pop

^ Well, he's got to do Something, being exiled from the Concert.so, he's here with us. Hey Harry, was it strange to juggle your own balls on camera at Meghan's command or is that a regular event in the good old USofA?

Princess Beatrice. She's coming into her own.

Baby Spice. She was Harry's 13yo crush.

Harry is clinically dumb, he thought he hooked up with Rachel from "Friends."

R114 I would have loved Caroline as Princess of Wales!

He should have married Harry Styles.