Having a Rough Time

Oh, mama.

Hearing you loud and clear. Very much do not want to invalidate a person reaching out for solace. But my first and very honest, loving advice to you is: let's clean up the black and white thinking going on here.

"People are mean and insensitive" is a blanket statement that is bleak and also very generalized.

"SOME people are mean and insensitive." See the difference? Yes. Some people are rude, thoughtless and whatever else. And it hurts. Equally accurate, however, is "Some people are thoughtful and kind." And that's good news! I know many kind, good people. I have some very loyal kind friends. I meet random kind folks on the street every day. I also try to be that in my life myself. I bet you do, too. So we must allow for the fact that while there are shitty insensitive people in the world, there are also really good, authentic people everywhere, too. To discount that truth is to believe a lie and then feel awful about the lie that you choose to believe. I hope this all makes sense?

Tweak the black and white thinking, is what I'm saying. Black and white thinking is painful and suffocating, and leads to depression. Black and white thinking is BAD for mental health

Next, if there ARE problem people in your life, take care of yourself, and define some action steps you can take to minimize these people in your life. If the 24/7 sensationalized daily news cycle is making you feel scared, overwhelmed and/or disillusioned -- take a break! Take care of YOU.

Finally, try to locate small things every day that DO work out for you. I think you might be surprised. Did someone hold the door for you? Did you hit all green lights on your way home from work? Was your lunch yummy? Did you watch a comedy show and get to experience a legit belly laugh? Don't forget about these small, bright moments in your day. Performing basic mental hygiene helps a person to develop a more serene and balanced view of life, in spite of the very real and constant challenges we all relentlessly pummeled by.

Sending you a virtual hug, sweetheart!

R1 thanks! You are too kind

Stand apart from the crowd and be nice and you will attract good people (along with some crazies, so be careful.)