Hello and thank you for being a DL contributor. We are changing the login scheme for contributors for simpler login and to better support using multiple devices. Please click here to update your account with a username and password.
Hello. Some features on this site require registration. Please click here to register for free.
Hello and thank you for registering. Please complete the process by verifying your email address. If you can't find the email you can resend it here.
Hello. Some features on this site require a subscription. Please click here to get full access and no ads for $1.99 or less per month.
This morning on my way to work, cycling though the park at a leisurely pace, I swallowed a fly. I pulled over and stopped and started retching and scared some dog walkers off but didn't notice it in the bile I threw up. 12 hours later I'm still coughing and have a sore throat.
Do I have to swallow a spider to catch the fly? And if I don't will I die?
| by Anonymous | reply 27 | May 14, 2022 1:15 AM |
Can I have your stuff?
| by Anonymous | reply 1 | May 13, 2022 8:49 PM |
[quote]Do I have to swallow a spider to catch the fly? And if I don't will I die?
Well, you are an old lady.
| by Anonymous | reply 2 | May 13, 2022 8:58 PM |
Many men (and some women) will swallow a fly only to chase after what's behind the zipper for decades to come. . . for some it may only take one, if they're flexible, to last a lifetime... but for most it will require dozens, maybe hundreds, even thousands... individual treatment needs may vary but if it continues to bother you, go suck a dick and swallow, swallow, swallow.
| by Anonymous | reply 3 | May 13, 2022 9:10 PM |
Beware... the spider may tickle and tickle and tickle inside you.
| by Anonymous | reply 4 | May 13, 2022 9:12 PM |
| by Anonymous | reply 5 | May 13, 2022 9:12 PM |
Now you’re eating for two, OP.
| by Anonymous | reply 6 | May 13, 2022 9:13 PM |
Now go watch The Fly with Jeff Goldblum, and enjoy your fate. BWAH HA HA
| by Anonymous | reply 7 | May 13, 2022 9:15 PM |
I'm sure that's not as bad as other things you've swallowed.
| by Anonymous | reply 8 | May 13, 2022 9:16 PM |
Call Mike Pence! Stat!
| by Anonymous | reply 9 | May 13, 2022 9:18 PM |
We already know what’s on your iPod.
| by Anonymous | reply 10 | May 13, 2022 9:35 PM |
OP, just reduce your daily protein intake by 0.14 grams, and you'll be fine.
| by Anonymous | reply 12 | May 14, 2022 12:34 AM |
Quick OP, sell the screen rights to your story while you still have time!
| by Anonymous | reply 13 | May 14, 2022 12:43 AM |
You're going to be wormy within a week. Oh the flatulence you're going to have.
| by Anonymous | reply 14 | May 14, 2022 12:45 AM |
Pretty sure you've had worse things in your mouth.
| by Anonymous | reply 15 | May 14, 2022 12:52 AM |
OP, I hope the buzzing doesn’t keep you awake tonight.
| by Anonymous | reply 16 | May 14, 2022 12:56 AM |
I knew an old gay man
Who swallowed a fly
I don't know why he swallowed that fly
Perhaps he'll die
| by Anonymous | reply 17 | May 14, 2022 12:59 AM |
I know an old gay man
Who swallow a spider
It wiggled and jiggled
And tickled inside him
Hw swallowed a spider
To catch the fly
But I don't know why
He swallowed the fly
Perhaps he'll die
| by Anonymous | reply 18 | May 14, 2022 1:01 AM |
I know an old gay man who swallowed a bird; How absurd to swallow a bird!
He swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside him!
He swallowed the spider to catch the fly;
I don’t know why he swallowed a fly – Perhaps he’ll die!
| by Anonymous | reply 19 | May 14, 2022 1:04 AM |
I know an old gay man who swallowed a cat;
Fancy that! He swallowed a cat!
He swallowed the cat to catch the bird,
He swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside him!
He swallowed the spider to catch the fly;
I don’t know why he swallowed a fly – Perhaps he’ll die!
| by Anonymous | reply 20 | May 14, 2022 1:05 AM |
I know an old gay man who swallowed a dog;
What a hog, to swallow a dog!
He swallowed the dog to catch the cat,
He swallowed the cat to catch the bird,
He swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside him!
He swallowed the spider to catch the fly;
I don’t know why he swallowed that fly
Perhaps he’ll die!
| by Anonymous | reply 21 | May 14, 2022 1:07 AM |
I know an old gay man who swallowed a goat; He just opened his throat and swallowed a goat!
He swallowed the goat to catch the dog,
He swallowed the dog to catch the cat,
He swallowed the cat to catch the bird,
He swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside him!
He swallowed the spider to catch the fly;
I don’t know why he swallowed that fly
Perhaps he’ll die!
| by Anonymous | reply 22 | May 14, 2022 1:08 AM |
I know an old gay man who swallowed a cow;
I don’t know how he swallowed a cow! (Whore!)
He swallowed the cow to catch the goat,
He swallowed the goat to catch the dog,
He swallowed the dog to catch the cat,
He swallowed the cat to catch the bird,
He swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside him!
He swallowed the spider to catch the fly;
I don’t know why he swallowed that fly – Perhaps he'll die!
| by Anonymous | reply 23 | May 14, 2022 1:10 AM |
I know an old gay who swallowed a horse
…he’s dead, of course!
| by Anonymous | reply 24 | May 14, 2022 1:10 AM |
Can't wait to see how this ends!
| by Anonymous | reply 25 | May 14, 2022 1:11 AM |
OP, darlin’, I am certain you have swallowed worse.
| by Anonymous | reply 26 | May 14, 2022 1:12 AM |
I know an old man who posted an EST
This time he told us he swallowed a fly
Those who know best
Ask him "Please won't you please fucking die."
| by Anonymous | reply 27 | May 14, 2022 1:15 AM |
Yes indeed, we too use "cookies." Take a look at our privacy/terms or if you just want to see the damn site without all this bureaucratic nonsense, click ACCEPT. Otherwise, you'll just have to find some other site for your pointless bitchery needs.
Become a contributor - post when you want with no ads!
