Desserts you would groan at if served at a dinner party

Sorry but that looks delicious.

R1, it is delicious and it is, as the name indicates, a lovely summer dessert. It requires no baking. It is particularly nice when served outdoors.

Yea, that actually looks pretty good.

My response is anything that is architectural or deconstructed. If I order and eclair, I want it to look like an eclair, not something designed by Mies van der Rohe.

Blood puddin

Blancmange

Jello cubes

Pudding cups

Popsicles

Necco wafers; Pez; Circus peanuts

Dump Cake

It looks like a blood clot.

Bananas Fosters

Anything with rhubarb in it.

Gag.

Also tiramisu. Wet cake. Blechh.

R10 OMG I WANT TIRAMISU SO BADLY NOW!!!

Do you guys saying the OP looks delicious know what that outside is made from? White bread. It's soggy white bread dropped in juice. It's disgusting.

I love summer pudding. It's delicious, even if it is made with white bread.

Many of the most characteristic Britihs desserts--Eton Mess, banoffee pie--sound horrible but are just incredibly delicious.

A mid 70s mainstay dessert of my mother’s:

It can also be made with brown bread 🤢

Sheet cake from a box mix with canned frosting. Awful.

Or with homemade high quality baked bread

R12, I use brioche bread, but the fact that it is often white bread is irrelevant. It is simply a conveyor for the fresh berry juices. By the way, it isn't wonder bread. One is supposed to use pain de mie.

Sandra Lee’s Kwanzaa cake

Anything with sprinkles.

[quote] One is supposed to use pain de mie.

Nope! British invention— intended to use up whatever garbage they had lying around.

I think it looks great OP.

It literally looks like an abortion plated up and ready to go!

R19, haven't black people suffered enough?

R23, Ted Cruz is writing a bill as we speak to ban that cake

[quote] It literally looks like an abortion plated up and ready to go!

It tastes worse though.

Ouizer knows.

R26, you are just a troll. How can fresh summer berries in their juices taste bad?

Soggy bread is gag inducing. That thing looks ghastly, as the Brits say

That shit the OP posted is gross.

Poached pears. IDGAF what anybody says. It's a disappointment.

Sorbet, fruit pops.

Trifle: whole bunch of soft ingredients piled up in a bowl. Tiramisu is better, but still ... soft.

Agree that the item at OP looks soggy and awful.

Oreo cookies. Ugh!

You can also use stale cake to make summer pudding if you don't like the texture of wet bread.

Slimer pudding.

molecular gastronomy desserts

Pie is my least favorite dessert. Of course, I still eat it, but I do groan if that's what I'm served.

I think that Blackcurrant's not being widely available or popular in the US might influence the idea of how summer pudding tastes, if you made it with mainly strawberries or something similar it would be pretty bland and horrible. It works best with a mix of wild berries.

R14's dessert is fabulous, my grandma used to make it.

Mint chocolate chip ice cream. Mint ice cream is gross and frozen chocolate chips are hard and flavorless.

Mine too, R38, until we told her some people called it "Sex in a Pan".

Any British dessert with the word pudding in it. Sticky toffee might be okay but I've never had it.

Savory ice cream

Spotted dick. I really can’t handle a dick at the end of a meal.

R42 You don't know what you are missing.

OP, your lack of English skills indicate you should just eat what you are served.

Maple Syrup Honey Brown Sugar Molasses Rice Krispie Log

R45 Is that Baklava for stupid poor people?

Traditional English desserts are just gross. Sorry. I've tried several of them and they are all terrible. From plum pudding to sticky toffee to spotted dick.

Banoffee pie was the only one that was somewhat tolerable, but it's too sweet.

German chocolate cake. Why ruin good chocolate cake with that slop on top?

Eton Mess

I've made summer pudding with blackberries, strawberries and raspberries. It was excellent. A lot of older recipes use stale or old bread--the right bread doesn't get mushy, but remains chewy, while the berry flavor is intense. I serve it with whipped cream--you can avoid eating the bread if you feel like it.

My dreaded desserts--cookies and cakes from the supermarket bakery. Particularly with that Crisco-y overly sweet, flavorless frosting.

One- or two-day-old pound cake, sliced fairly thin, makes the best summer pudding I've tasted.

R47 Banoffee Pie while claimed to be from the UK is relatively recent @1970 and isn't a good fit with our general food, creamy pies aren't common and bananas weren't available between 1939 and 1956.. it was stolen from somewhere else.

If a dessert is very sweet you can probably rule out a UK origin, my non British friends complain all of the time about the slightly sour notes in our puddings.

Pruneaux pochés au fumet de cabillaud

I really like summer pudding and I make it with day-old potato bread—its tight-crumbed, tender texture and subtle sweetness made a perfect match for the berries. I've served this on the Fourth of July and make it in individual ramekins that get unmolded and served with lightly whipped cream. I think it's delicious.

One dessert I wish I liked but I don't is a baked apple. I find them utterly boring.

Moist muffins

Now who in their right mind would serve moist muffins for dessert? Who, I ask?

Nudle s mákem, egg noodles with poppy seeds, powdered sugar, and butter.

Jell-O 1-2-3

Nilla vanilla wafers in vanilla instant pudding.

Sticky toffee pudding is delicious!

This abomination!

Trifles are always a disappointment.

They need to replace the bread with sliced angel food cake. It does look delicious

Watermelon. That's all I got.

R63 You can use pound cake from the dollar store, it improves the texture for most people.

Just stick to fairly plain ones

R57, oh Dear God! That is nasty. Is that German?

[quote]My dreaded desserts--cookies and cakes from the supermarket bakery. Particularly with that Crisco-y overly sweet, flavorless frosting.

I can't stand that type of stuff. The frosting on cheap grocery store cakes is made from crisco

If you are in a hot climate Crisco based icing is preferred so that it doesn't melt.

Rice Krispie "treats."

Anything with raisins or coconut makes me want to vomit.

At Thanksgiving, pumpkin pie as the only option. Pumpkin pie is OK, but come on. Pecan pie is way better.

Salmiakki (salty licorice) cake

Red velvet cake.

I used to have a coworker who ate a package of Oreos and 2 liters of Dr Pepper every day. His teeth made it look like he always had a mouthful of peanut butter.

Treacle tart

R68, there is no excuse for Crisco frosting. Better off with a poured-on icing, like the one used in Texas sheet cake, than that.

Pancakes Barbara.

Not really a dinner party dessert but even the smell of funnel cake makes me want to throw up. Yuck.

R72 I'm not sure how it tastes but that is a gorgeous looking dessert. Very elegant.

UK here. Summer Pudding is rather fetishised by some people. It tastes great, but the texture feels like slop.

Anything too overtly sweet and try hard, like Nutella Cream Pie with Oreo Crust or Pecan Mollases Choco chip cheesecake or those godawful milkshakes that have cake, candy, 3 different kinds of syrups, etc. In short, most american desserts.

Also supermarket bought cake. Eww.

R31 Actually pears poached in red wine with a nice big dollop of fresh whipped cream is rather delicious. I agree with whoever said baked apple though.

It's one thing to lack the taste to want to eat Summer Pudding yourself.

It's another to lack the good manners to serve a dessert primarily composed of soggy sliced bread to a guest.

I'm not a fussy eater at all. Summer pudding is really one of the only desserts I wouldn't touch.

I love a good baked apple.

Flourless chocolate cake.

I like all desserts mentioned here.

Carrot Cake. UGH

cheesecake

I like the idea of this cake r72 but I'll recreate it as a cheesecake and flavor the black part as chocolate with a lil black food dye added for the color.

Freida Claxton, is that you?

"Spotted dick. I really can’t handle a dick at the end of a meal."

That's why it's just called "dick" when it goes in but is spotted when it comes out.

Little Debbie owns this thread.

Tiramisu and Costco cookies

Fat Lady Jennifer Paterson mad a tomato filled version of Summer Pudding. Delectable.

Any of those store bought frozen pies or cakes: Marie Callendar, Edwards, Sara Lee, Pepperidge Farm, etc.

Although some frozen Trader Joe's versions might be acceptable but not ideal.

Full disclosure: once upon a time many moons ago I would devour a Pepperidge Farm Coconut Cake, not fully thawed and still slightly cold but I can't even fathom that now.

Tiramisu - the mascarpone (and possibly cream) MUST be fresh and Italian quality, from healthy cows, not American hormone disasters. The eggs MUST be flavorful eggs from healthy free range farm chickens. The coffee should be an Italian roast of arabica, dark and OILY. The recipe is based on the fundamental basic rich earthy fatty flavors of these ingredients. When they are impeccable, the Tiramisu is delicious.

Who even eats dessert?

Anything with marshmallows

OP’s bussy.

If you remove flour, eggs and milk from making a cake, at what point does it stop being cake?

Can they laser print an entire cake yet? Not just the frosting. The cake too.

I'm sorry to say this but, I do not like Ambrosia. My former sister-in-law made it with marshmallows. mandarin oranges, coconut flakes and, I'm not sure if it was mayo or sour cream, but yuck!

The Ritz Apple Pie which is not made with apples at all! Has anyone made it or tried it? Other than REAL Apple pie, I don't care for fruit and pies at all.

One year, my coworkers got me a birthday cake with that disgusting strawberry and banana glop in it. When I didn't eat any, I had to explain to my coworkers that I didn't like the filling. They said just scrape out the filling. Uhm, no. the glop has already infiltrated the cake! Plus it had whipped cream frosting. It was disappointing because I had a list of my coworkers' favorites cakes so that, when their birthdays came, I ordered what they liked. They didn't do the same for me. :-(

Did you stomp back to your cube in a hurt and indignant huff, to light your one votive-sized Diptyque patchouli candle to block out those tasteless plebeians?

O/T but I read recently a guy sued his company for having a birthday cake for him when he asked them not to. He had anxiety issues and they ignored his request. He won the case. I hope this sets a precedence and companies begin to phase out this birthday party/bridal and baby shower personal crap. AFAIK, European offices don't engage in this forced nonsense.

Back in the 70s my mother would make sherry cream log as a special treat. Choc chip cookies dunked in fine sherry and smothered in whipped cream with grated chocolate on top. Surprisingly good - you can take it down market too. Just use Pennywise Bourbons and Asda peach schnapps or, at a pinch, Winalot and stout. Can't beat a British pudding.

R106 Did she set it aflame at some point too?

The only way to stop Brits eating awful desserts is to tell them they'll catch the trans from it.

Starting with R106.

[quote][R106] Did she set it aflame at some point too?

With gasoline hopefully.

Back in the 70s, my mother would make something that I loved but haven't had in many years. I bet some of you have had this.

She would layer Stella D'oro Anisette Sponge Biscotti in a rectangular baking pan (at least 13 x 9"). Then she would prepare a box of cooked chocolate pudding and pour it (while still hot) over the biscotti. Then she would add another layer of biscotti over that and then prepare a box of cooked vanilla pudding and pour it over the second layer of biscotti. This would then be covered with cling film and be refrigerated for several hours or overnight. Then she would cover the whole thing with Cool Whip. I absolutely loved this. If you decide to try it, be sure to get the sponge Stella D'oro Anisette SPONGE not the Anisette TOAST.

Were I to make it now, I think I might change the Cool Whip for real whipped cream, but the Cool Whip does hold up longer in the refrigerator.

I'm thinking I would feel this way if my trannie friends put this out.

[quote] I'm sorry to say this but, I do not like Ambrosia.

I'm Southern and I agree, I have never understood why people like Ambrosia.

Perhaps the sweet, nasty English desserts is what led to their national teeth problem.

Is Waldorf salad a dessert?

R113 According to recent studies the Brits have better teeth than the US.

NHS covers dental. Thanks Obama, for diddly squat.

[quote] Is Waldorf salad a dessert?

No, it is not a dessert. It is tasty, however.

Pancakes Barbara looks like something a child would concoct.

Pancakes Barbara is the breakfast version of ants on a log.

[quote]Blood pudding

Despite its name, blood pudding, also called black pudding, is not a dessert. It's a kind of sausage.

R120 Which makes it even more horrible to be served as a dessert!

Lot of things are called pudding in the British Isles that aren't pudding at all.

Blood pudding is called pudding because the blood is steamed before used to fill the sausage casing.

Bananas Foster is delicious by itself, but unfortunately they serve it on top of vanilla ice cream; the ice cream melts, and it all becomes a soupy mess. Instead they should serve it on top of some simple cake or pastry.

I love summer pudding! You don't really see it as soggy bread when you're eating it because the main part is the berries. Plus it's usually served with a big dollop of whipped cream.

I am now craving summer pudding. The ones I have had have never had soggy, slimy bread. The blackcurrants and raspberries give it a really tart taste. I hate overly sweet desserts. My grandmother used to often make this.

Bread pudding! Especially with raisins!

R118 But, I love the plate. It looks just like the everyday china I grew up with.

Yeah, bread pudding is disappointing. It became so very popular for a while. I think it would probably be better as a savory dish, like Thanksgiving stuffing with lots of browning / crunch on the top. The way most people make bread pudding is really soft throughout.

Chrissy Metz is even disgusted with some of these fat whores.

Fanny Craddock's Christmas Plum Pud'

Just have berries and creme and forget the soggy wet bread.

There's absolutely nothing more vomit inducing than eating wet bread.

Tiramisu…it’s an overdone caricature of a real dessert…unspeakably tacky

Italian cheesecake. It's mealy, I don't like it.

I want my creamy, smooth cheesecake.

If you don't like bread pudding, you never had it done well. My mom makes it with walnuts, not raisins, and serves it with whipped cream and dulce de leche caramel. One of my absolute favorite desserts.

[quote]Poached pears. IDGAF what anybody says. It's a disappointment.

Someone has never enjoyed my delicious Baked Pears Alicia!

Never cared much for bread pudding until I had it with chocolate chips instead of raisins and whisky sauce.

Flan

^ I love a good Caramel Flan!

If summer pudding ends up with a wet bread texture then you haven't prepared it far enough in advance. If it's done 2 days before the bread pretty much dissolves

To all the bread pudding haters out there(and I realize your name is legion): I follow Maida Heatter's recipe to the letter with the addition of some cinnamon added to the sugar that goes on top just before the pudding is baked. This recipe is long(especially when preparing a triple-sized one as I always do) involved and can be a PITA(sometimes just finding the bread is a scavenger hunt), but the results are worth it, always a hit at the community Christmas dinner I attend each year. Much with the schlag when you serve it, please, as a custard sauce is painting the lily since the pudding itself is very egg-y.

My groaner would be any sort of pavlova, since I do not care for meringue desserts at all, either crunchy or marshmallow-y( shudder.....)

I've had Summer Pudding a number of times and the quality is variable. Since there are no flavorings added(usually) the quality of the ingredients is crucial. Three things can kill it:

#1 The bread. As noted above a pain de mie, challah, brioche or other fine-crumbed bread is essential so the result isn't an ooze-y mess. The pudding needs some structure to hold itself together and not collapse once it is unmolded.

#2 The strawberries. These can make or break the filling. Using underripe berries, such as those with a large white core, greenish or white "shoulders" or ones that have no aroma is a mistake. If that's all you can find simply omit them and up the other berries to get the required amount. The raspberries, blueberries, blackberries, currants, etc. which you use are invariably good.

#3 Butter. Some recipes call for butter, so splurge for the best you can find. Consider the European-style imported ones.

[quote]My groaner would be any sort of pavlova, since I do not care for meringue desserts at all, either crunchy or marshmallow-y( shudder.....)

Ditto.

bundt cake

Twinkies

I’m from the U.K. and I’ve never heard of summer pudding in my life.

Dump cakes.

[quote] If summer pudding ends up with a wet bread texture then you haven't prepared it far enough in advance. If it's done 2 days before the bread pretty much dissolves

You’ve somehow managed to make it sound even worse.

Brava

r146 I like the pineapple/cherry one.

R131 Old schoolboy joke. “What's the difference between Fanny Craddock and a long-distance runner? One's a pant in the country, the other's a cunt in the pantry.” Guess you had to be there.

Summer pudding looks like biohazardous medical waste.

R138 sounds a bit sus with the flan hate. Flan is a Latino staple. But there's a french version that sounds more sophisticated and European: Crème Caramel. I'm sure she would like that dessert...

I love Filipino leche flan.

R151, since I love Tres leches, you'd be wrong about the reason I dislike flan

Yule logs out of season.

[quote] [R138] sounds a bit sus with the flan hate. Flan is a Latino staple. But there's a french version that sounds more sophisticated and European: Crème Caramel. I'm sure she would like that dessert...

What a presumptuous thing to say.

Lots of people don't like custards--too eggy for them--it's a big jump to assume that it's because of a cultural bias.

Any kind of "pizookie" with ice cream on top. So basic.

[quote]r12 Do you guys saying the OP looks delicious know what that outside is made from? White bread. It's soggy white bread dropped in juice. It's disgusting.

I’ve never heard of this dessert before.

I don’t know how I feel about it. It seems like ladyfingers or something other than just… plain white bread would be more interesting. But England’s never been renowned for its cooking.

Anything with Cool Whip, especially served by someone who pronounces it like Stewie.

[quote]R31 Trifle: whole bunch of soft ingredients piled up in a bowl. Tiramisu is better, but still ... soft.

You’d like Paula Deens!

I was channel surfing one day and say her making a “trifle”… with chocolate cake, fudge sauce, whipped cream, and BROKEN UP CANDY BARS.

I watched in horror, murmuring[italic]”That’s not a trifle… that’s NOT a trifle…!”

Ingredients: 1 1/2 cups fresh sweetened with 1/3 cup sugar whipped cream / 3 bars broken into pieces toffee candy bars / 1/2 cup coffee liqueur / 1 box (for a 9x13 cake, prepare as directed) chocolate cake mix / 1 (4 oz) bar German chocolate / 1/2 oz unsweetened chocolate / 8 tablespoons butter / 3 cups powdered sugar / 1 2/3 cups evaporated milk / 1 1/4 teaspoons vanilla

Directions: Prepare cake according to package directions. Pour into a 9 x 13-inch pan. Cool thoroughly. Pierce holes over the entire top of the cake with a fork. Pour coffee liqueur over the cake, allowing it to soak in. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate at least 3 hours. In a glass trifle bowl, layer ingredients beginning with a one-inch layer of cake, 1/4 of the fudge sauce, 1 candy bar, and 1/4 of the whipped cream. Repeat layering 2 more times ending with candy bar and fudge sauce. Refrigerate until ready to serve. Left over cake can be frozen.

Cook’s Note: Assemble the trifle shortly before serving or it will get soggy.

Hot Fudge Sauce: Melt chocolate and butter in saucepan over very low heat. Stir in powdered sugar, alternating with evaporated milk, blending well. Bring to a boil over medium heat, stirring constantly. Cook and stir until mixture becomes thick and creamy, about 8 minutes. Stir in vanilla; serve warm.

No desserts with Cool Whip or instant pudding ever. Nothing with canned fruit. If ice cream is involved, it must be premium or why bother? My theory is that people who hate carrot cake associate it with their boomer parents. If you don't like custards or vanilla, you probably won't like bread, tapioca or rice pudding.or anything filled with pastry cream.

I think key lime pie is the perfect dessert because it's tart yet decadent.

I put berries and their juices on angel food cake sometimes (and strawberry shortcake is basically American biscuits with strawberries on top) but you have to put the berries on just before serving so it's not too soft. Putting it on white bread instead of cake? Yuck.

American pudding is not something to be proud of.

Candy corn cake.

Enough of these horrors. Delia has the answer.

I don't eat dessert or enjoy baking, so if I'm entertaining I just buy something from a local bakery. Better to leave it to the experts.

Anything that involves meringue. I can't stand meringue. I think it was because my mother's was so awful.

All of the eggy desserts: meringue, custard, Oeufs au Neiges, etc. UGH

Fudge, well packed fudge.

I do hope the groaning on this thread is done internally and not outwardly to your host(ess).

ANY chocolate that is not the finest Swiss chocolate.

[quote]ANY chocolate that is not the finest Swiss chocolate.

Are you Greg?

No, I am not.

The trifle I once tried to make ended up looking like a punch bowl of vomit.

It's never a good idea to form opinions of American cuisine by dining at Golden Corral,

That spotted dick is usually served straight from a tin. Rings and all.

S'mores or anything with marshmallows in it.

Marshmallows is the only "food" I despise.