I'm Sunny Lynn Sue. That's not my real name, but it's how everyone here knows me. I'm 74 and I've been selling fresh-cut flowers at my booth since the early 1990s. Regulars recognize that I'm a little touched and they tend to avoid me; newcomers get sucked in, though, and if they spend more than ten minutes with me they'll hear the story of the time I met Country Joe McDonald at the Monterey Pop Festival. Sometimes it's Richie Havens and Woodstock. I don't know. I've smoked a lot of weed.
I'm the, uh, art, created by a youngster with fishing lures and bottle tops
| by Anonymous | reply 1 | May 7, 2022 6:46 PM |
I'm the bitchy look thrown your way when you don't bring exact change
| by Anonymous | reply 2 | May 7, 2022 6:47 PM |
I'm homemade soap!
| by Anonymous | reply 3 | May 7, 2022 6:47 PM |
I'm also weird pickles!
| by Anonymous | reply 4 | May 7, 2022 6:48 PM |
I'm produce that was purchased in bulk at Costco being passed off as "locally grown."
| by Anonymous | reply 5 | May 7, 2022 6:48 PM |
I'm over priced everything.
| by Anonymous | reply 6 | May 7, 2022 6:50 PM |
I'm $15 for enough parsley for a modest Tabbouleh. At the Turkish greengrocer I cost $3.
| by Anonymous | reply 7 | May 7, 2022 6:55 PM |
I am the young farmer who secretly resents these young uppity urbanites who pay $7 for two vine-ripened tomatoes.
| by Anonymous | reply 9 | May 7, 2022 7:10 PM |
I'm a producer with a philosophy which you will pay dearly for.
| by Anonymous | reply 10 | May 7, 2022 7:11 PM |
I'm the lesbians
| by Anonymous | reply 11 | May 7, 2022 7:11 PM |
I'm the Green Party booth. Do you support renewable energy?
| by Anonymous | reply 12 | May 7, 2022 7:19 PM |
I'm the hot coffee booth. I'm the busiest booth. Most of these disheveled farmers' market shoppers are in need of their 2nd dose of caffeine by the time they reach the FM.
| by Anonymous | reply 13 | May 7, 2022 7:21 PM |
I’m the leather-work/commemorate knife/Injun blanket tent.
I also sell jerky and tattoos and etcetera so tell Michelle to shove her authentic farmer’s market standards up her ass. She buys her cheese curds are from Cisco.
| by Anonymous | reply 14 | May 7, 2022 7:23 PM |
I'm the dogs that MUST be brought.
| by Anonymous | reply 16 | May 7, 2022 7:47 PM |
I'm OP, who is so hated she had 400 flower scissors rammed into her throat.
| by Anonymous | reply 17 | May 7, 2022 8:12 PM |
We're the rescue dogs!
| by Anonymous | reply 18 | May 8, 2022 1:19 PM |
I'm the white blobs of homemade cheese soaking in tubs of murky liquid. The good European cheeses at the supermarket that were made under more hygienic condtions are cheaper than me.
| by Anonymous | reply 19 | May 8, 2022 2:40 PM |
I'm the unsurprising prevalence of reusable bags brought to bring home purchases.
I'm the chilly, judgmental side-eye from the Yukon-Denali-driving mom towards the customer who doesn't have such a bag and takes home tomatoes and asparagus in a regular plastic grocery bag provided by the vendor.
| by Anonymous | reply 20 | May 8, 2022 3:00 PM |
We're the row of Subaru Outbacks.
| by Anonymous | reply 21 | May 8, 2022 5:23 PM |
I'm all the bok choy that people pretend they will use for something.
| by Anonymous | reply 22 | May 8, 2022 6:25 PM |
Artisanal bread denser than brick.
| by Anonymous | reply 23 | May 8, 2022 6:34 PM |
Don't waste your time looking for me. I can't afford a stall there.
| by Anonymous | reply 24 | May 8, 2022 6:40 PM |
I'm the donut stand that sells apple cider and blueberry donuts that are as tasty (and moist) as dry wallpaper paste.
| by Anonymous | reply 25 | May 8, 2022 6:41 PM |
I'm the artisanal and organic Pseudomonas aeruginosa in the mist sprayed over the greens just before opening time.
| by Anonymous | reply 26 | May 8, 2022 10:26 PM |
I'm the idiot who just had to bring his dog aggressive pitbull mix. Chaos will ensue. Which is apt because its name is Loki.
| by Anonymous | reply 27 | May 8, 2022 10:39 PM |
I'm the guy who collects the protection money every week.
| by Anonymous | reply 28 | May 8, 2022 11:56 PM |
I’m the Falun Gong group doing their thing on the opposite side of the plaza.
| by Anonymous | reply 29 | May 9, 2022 12:17 AM |