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My husband suggested getting a houseboy

I'm 59, he's 62 and we have three adopted sons. We're not as young as we used to be and the idea of a houseboy sounds tempting. He could help with the household chores, help out with the kids and generally take over most of the household duties. My only worry is that he will cause my husband to lose sexual interest in me. I'm a housebottom and though I still regularly get more than my fair share of dick (all takers, status irrelevant), I'd be lying if I said that my sex life hadn't seen better days. So I'm approaching this suggestion with a frisson of trepidation. My husband noticed that I'm tiptoeing around the subject, but I try to keep things civil.

We already interviewed a couple of candidates. I specified the houseboy should be strictly SASA, preferably Latino. A top would be less temptation for my husband. My husband, however, has insisted on interviewing all applicants. I insisted on specifying SASA in the ad. This is critical. I justified that position by making clear that since all three of our boys are bottoms too, having a SASA, masc, built houseboy would benefit the majority of the household. My eldest son agreed with me - we adopted him from El Salvador and he would love to have a good POC role model in his life. Having a masc, SASA, jacked houseboy would be just fabulous for both of us! Our two younger adopted sons were also adopted from Latin America, so it's pretty certain we'd be employing a Latino gentleman.

The interviews didn't go too well though. We had a fabulous Chicano boy come in: mid-20s, masc, square jaw, jacked, dark hair, blue eyes, caramel skin, colossal pinga. My hole literally became wet when I saw him. Even my husbear was visibly erect in his tight Levi's (he's masc, straight-passing, bald, bearded, tattooed, heavyset, super-jacked and veiny). The sexual tension was palpable. The boy was hard in his shorts, too. I could smell his sweat and cock funk. I volunteered to suck his cock halfway through the interview and he just turned his nose up at me and said, "As if!" He left with an indignant swirl. My husband loudly berated me for being 'desperate' and ruining the interview. It was going so well. Anyway, now we're at loggerheads over candidates, and worrying if a houseboy will make our sex life even harder.

Anyone on DL have any experiences with employing houseboys. Basically, I understand they're expected to top on demand, but can my husbear ask them to douche every day? What's the policy on adopted sons? Is it like something we set out in the contract, or do we like just wait for shit to happen?

by Anonymousreply 48April 22, 2022 2:30 AM

Tl/Dr -5/10

by Anonymousreply 1April 21, 2022 10:19 AM

Make a compromise, get a lesbian maid. A bull dyke.

by Anonymousreply 2April 21, 2022 10:19 AM

You used "frisson" then fucked up with "Levi's," and you can't decide on single European quotation marks or American double quotation marks.

A sloppy attempt, OP.

by Anonymousreply 3April 21, 2022 10:21 AM

R1 would you please contribute productively to the conversatia?

by Anonymousreply 4April 21, 2022 10:22 AM

Why does he need to douche daily if he's a top?

by Anonymousreply 5April 21, 2022 10:27 AM

Well put, R1. I couldn't get through the first paragraph. You were too generous with the -5.

by Anonymousreply 6April 21, 2022 10:29 AM

R5 the question is whether houseboy is expected to bottom. Most couples I know with houseboys mainly expect him to top. In our case, I expect my husbear will want some of the ass from time to time. He needs the ass.

by Anonymousreply 7April 21, 2022 10:33 AM

What is SASA?

by Anonymousreply 8April 21, 2022 10:37 AM

Couldn’t you train at least one of your sons to top?

by Anonymousreply 9April 21, 2022 10:39 AM

he's trading you in for a younger, prettier model

by Anonymousreply 10April 21, 2022 10:39 AM

R8 - Straight Acting/Straight Appearing

R9 - none of them showed any interest in it and they're all pretty hungry bottoms my eldest can't wait to go to college soon and is fantasizing about being a dorm room cumdump for square-jawed aryan jocks!

by Anonymousreply 11April 21, 2022 10:43 AM

No mention of your puny cocklet? Standards are slipping…

by Anonymousreply 12April 21, 2022 10:46 AM

Dear Penthouse forum....

by Anonymousreply 13April 21, 2022 10:47 AM

-0/10

We ALL know quivering house-bottoms like OP and his husbear ALWAYS hire straight, 20 something, pre-fraus for these jobs, or gay friendly, divorced, older fraus who haven’t any young kids. They make the best nannies, and no one has to worry about sexual harrasment law suits like the one OP is fantasizing over.

by Anonymousreply 14April 21, 2022 10:48 AM

R14, we don't want women in our home. They're not needed.

by Anonymousreply 15April 21, 2022 10:54 AM

What questions do you ask in your interviews with applicants?

by Anonymousreply 16April 21, 2022 10:55 AM

Sounds like the Addams Family on Crack. lol But if it works for you... :-)

by Anonymousreply 17April 21, 2022 11:01 AM

Are you the same OP who was prancing and mincing around a Whole Foods store wearing a turquoise thong and Daisy Dukes when you were accosted by a group of gay thugs who forced you out to the parking lot and gang raped you?

by Anonymousreply 18April 21, 2022 11:03 AM

Did your lisp act up during the interview, like it did at the Whole Foods cheese counter when you were flirting with the dudebro behind it?

by Anonymousreply 19April 21, 2022 11:05 AM

You need to work for Family Dick!

by Anonymousreply 20April 21, 2022 11:58 AM

OP did you just make up that term "SASA"?

by Anonymousreply 21April 21, 2022 12:14 PM

Not OP, but SASA's been a thing since the '90s. I used to read it in the Washington Blade classifieds every Friday. Maybe it's a localism.

by Anonymousreply 22April 21, 2022 12:47 PM

What in the world are you even talking about?

by Anonymousreply 23April 21, 2022 12:50 PM

r23 I'm guessing a troll setup to moisten the panties over at mumsnet. . . for the anti-gay faction that is now overshadowed by the anti-trans masses. This seems typical of their fantasies and fears about gay adoption and the chattel slavery of women.

by Anonymousreply 24April 21, 2022 1:00 PM

-50000000000000/10

by Anonymousreply 25April 21, 2022 1:00 PM

With all the insatiable bottoms in that household, minus daddy, - throw in some dildos and it must be a four cylinder engine cruising down the highway there.

by Anonymousreply 26April 21, 2022 1:16 PM

This was posted from a nursing home while Young and Restless droned on in the day room.

by Anonymousreply 27April 21, 2022 1:24 PM

Dumb OP.

by Anonymousreply 28April 21, 2022 1:32 PM

What OP hears: "Let's get a houseboy"

What OP's man is really saying: Gurl your hole is loose and I don't want to fuck it anymore.

by Anonymousreply 29April 21, 2022 1:39 PM

This seems like the first encounter with the Shit Brickhouse Troll for many of you. He is one of our best loved and most celebrated trolls!

by Anonymousreply 30April 21, 2022 9:02 PM

You would think that Packer would be a top.

by Anonymousreply 31April 21, 2022 9:34 PM

OP needs to stuff her homophobia where love can never find it.

Nor would bother to look.

by Anonymousreply 32April 21, 2022 9:36 PM

The only thing that could save this -375/10 attempt would be photo documentation of all pingas submitted.

by Anonymousreply 33April 21, 2022 9:37 PM

What you need is a domestic engineer!

by Anonymousreply 34April 21, 2022 9:55 PM

That's a great idea, Senator Graham

by Anonymousreply 35April 21, 2022 9:57 PM

Get a Roman

by Anonymousreply 36April 21, 2022 10:04 PM

Roomba

by Anonymousreply 37April 21, 2022 10:04 PM

I’ve never heard SASA. I guess I’m SAGAA. Straight Appearing/Gay Ass Acting.

Do I understand correctly that you and your three boys are all bottoms and your husbear is a top? No one’s vers?

Doesn’t sound like a very diverse household.

Maybe you need a nanny (either sex) and whores.

by Anonymousreply 38April 21, 2022 10:21 PM

There's a Glenn Greenwald joke in here somewhere.

by Anonymousreply 39April 21, 2022 10:25 PM

This thread is surprisingly (shockingly!) funny.

by Anonymousreply 40April 21, 2022 11:46 PM

OP, this never happened.

by Anonymousreply 41April 22, 2022 12:05 AM

The shit Brickhouse troll is back

by Anonymousreply 42April 22, 2022 12:25 AM

God, you're dull OP.

by Anonymousreply 43April 22, 2022 12:31 AM

Think of what this is doing to your poor imaginary children, OP.

by Anonymousreply 44April 22, 2022 12:32 AM

R31 Packer is 15 and still finding his way in the world - he's a lean, tight jock who may evolve into a daddy one day, but for now he's a slave to his boyfriend's hot teenage cock.

by Anonymousreply 45April 22, 2022 12:58 AM

Teenage cock is disappointing cock. He must be really into /spear/ fishing.

by Anonymousreply 46April 22, 2022 2:21 AM

Gurl go buy a vibrator and a Roomba.... Serves the same purpose as the houseboy and cheaper in the long run..

by Anonymousreply 47April 22, 2022 2:24 AM

How come there's no mention of a puny cocklet anywhere in this story?

by Anonymousreply 48April 22, 2022 2:30 AM
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