Disappointing photos show what Coachella is like in real life

Line to buy "merch."

Check out the prices.

OP you've never been to a music festival, have you?

$26 for this.

People are such stupid fucking sheep nowdays.

No wonder rich people keep getting richer.

Americans clearly have too much money to spend.

WOMP WOMP.

Looks boring as hell.

Which is why it’s important to have VIP access, AAA if possible.

Problem solved!

That photo at R1 is the saddest thing I've ever seen.

I cannot believe that people would stand in a line that long, for that amount of time, just to buy some crap merchandise.

Are Americans really this stupid?

Thanks for this thread. Reinforces my desire never to go to a music festival or similar event but to watch/listen to it online.

What were your fav performances?

These events are just Straight Pride Parades, where breeders get to cruise each other. The music is just background noise.

[quote] These events are just Straight Pride Parades, where breeders get to cruise each other. The music is just background noise.

Not just straights.

Gay douchecunts like Aaron Schock go there to cruise too.

And to stroke each other's cocks, too.

[quote] "merch."

An ugly word.

I had Coach Ella for gym, she was a bit '"handsy".

As R6 mentioned, the only way to attend these festivals is to buy VIP access, be an actual VIP or celebrity, have an artist pass and to a lesser extent, be some kind of high profile influencer.

And for the most part none of these people even go to the actual festival and mingle with the masses. It's all about the parties.

How could they not have buses running back and forth? The Renaissance Fair I go to every year has a bus for what is fairly pleasant 3 block walk.

This is surprisingly close to the Fyre Festival.

A slice of pizza for how much!? For that price, each bite better be orgasmic.

R16, it's $11 for a cold and disgusting looking slice of pizza.

You just know the organizers are laughing at the idiots buying this shit.

Laughing all the way to the bank.

It seems to me that eating a $17 order of chili cheese tots at a place where the lines for the porta-potties are horrendously long might not be a good idea.

R5 which is why most of the PR and publicity surrounding it focuses on the celebrities that go, instead of the ordinary people. I suspect the experience of Coachella as a non-VIP person is pretty humdrum

R10 so many overworked muscles

I've never understood the appeal of these festivals. Why would I want to be herded around in the heat with a bunch of despicable people. Gross.

R21 They go because there's a chance of sex.

$17 for those Reuben Tots seems a fair price, though. A restaurant wouldn't charge much less. I could go for some.

But I won't go back to Coachella. I went in 2019 with an acquaintance, a certain minor reality TV personality who had VIP tickets, I'm sure comped somehow. Not naming names but he was and is a bratty Brit. We ended up going to the actual festival exactly ONE day of the time we were there. Hot and sweaty morning until night. Mind this was the 2019 festival which was far more crowded and insane than this one appears to be.

The rest of the time we did go to parties, where my compadre was treated like shit despite a bit of TV notoriety - kind of like the way he treated people on his show. Golden rule! He was also drunk a lot of the time. I was largely left alone, but then, I'm a nobody. Oh well I enjoyed babysitting him, but in general the whole scene was a completely unnerving experience.

I've been manning the AARP booth at Coachella, and business is booming.

So I'm at one of those festivals with a friend of mine (who got the best VIP pass there was, probably because she was tied in with it, haha) and we arrive early to one of the VIP-only parties. (I'm gonna use fake names in this story) So we sit down at a table for 4, because she says, 'oh, a friend of mine and her significant other will be joining us in a few minutes'. so the friend comes in first and they are like chatchatchatchatchat, completely ignoring me (after at least introducing me). A couple minutes later, this well-known celebrity (multiple Emmys, multiple Golden Globes) walks in by himself and scans the room, and I think, 'oh goddammit, not tonight', and sure enough, he walks over to our table and sits down in the 4th chair. He looks at my friend and says, "Hi 'Jane'!" and as soon as he's in the chair, he looks at me and says, "so you're Fred Smith!"- and smiles while turning to look at Jane. So we sit there for an hour-and-a-half, and I pretend that I don't know who he is or his name (you would have to be a complete idiot not to recognize the guy), and we have a conversation about his connection to the area but I also got peppered with questions about a couple of my projects, while Jane and her friend completely ignore the two of us with their gossip session. So that's my stupid story about those festivals.

R23, are you friends with DJ James Kennedy?!

What’s stupid about your story, R25, is your unfamiliarity with the past tense.

R27 - My 3rd grade teacher complained about that, too.

These things are for your 20s. That article sounds like it was written by a crotchety 40 year old. Let the kids play and spend money on overpriced crap.

I must say now I want to try Chili Tots. How have I gone this long without knowing this existed?

Also, I'm surprised there's no kind of VIP experience with golf carts to give your rides to the parking lot and around the area and cooling tents.

I would rather get pushed onto subway tracks than go to a music festival in the desert.

People are sooooo easily sucked in.

Coachella has gotten way to big and out of control.

3 stages were streamed live on YouTube for free. Why would you go to this? If you want a live concert experience, there are far better options.

When I lived in Chicago I would go to lollapalloza every year....One year it just became crazy and over packed...It was the year the kids were jumping fences from Lake Shore Drive....Never went to another festival since

[quote]I see nothing wrong with taking advantage of the stupid

--Sam Puckett, iCarly

I don’t care enough about any band in the world to put up with even a single inconvenience, much less this.

I would think that Covid put an end to most of these festivals.

Or at least did some major damage to their attendance.

Fuck off, r27 their story is the most interesting one on this thread

Close to a good half of the attendees will be high on some substance, so price-gouged food prices may be the furthest thing from their mind.

Who was it, R25???

Tell us! Tell us!

Who IS it, in R25? Let's indulge his "historic present". It's terribly French of R25 and the anecdote is so exciting and intriguing.

The “historic present” is used by either a ridiculously pretentious travel writer or someone who barely made it out of high school.

Also R25, are you trying to say that your friend was attempting to set you up with the celeb in your story?

Well… it sounds like every other festival i’ve ever been to? A bit dusty, long lines, overpriced food/drink? What exactly is the revelation here… having to sit on the ground to eat? It’s not a restaurant. You think people at Glastonbury or Afropunk are experiencing 3 Michelin Star dining at these festivals?

People mostly go to get dressed up with their friends, do some party drugs, dance around a bit, and get photos for Instagram. It’s a bonus if you like a few of the artists or discover someone new. I probably wouldn’t go, but at least Coachella has decent lineups every year.

Coachella is trust fund kids who can’t play or write music performing to trust fund kids who don’t really care about music at all.

r7 you've clearly never heard of Glastonbury, you smug fucking idiot.

It's one of those "see and be seen" events which got even more popular with social media. It's just so shallow and superficial. I doubt any of them can name any of the music acts other than the top ones which are featured in big bold letters on the posters.

After finding out that the festival is organized by Right-Wing Conservatives who donate part of their profits to Right Wing Conservative politicians, I am glad I have never spent a dime on this.

[quote] Coachella owner Philip Anschutz faced heavy criticism last year after it was revealed he had donated up to $190,000 to conservative groups, including anti-LGBTQ organizations like Alliance Defending Freedom and the Family Research Council. Anschutz later called this report “fake news,” insisting he never intended to support groups that promoted inequality.

[quote] “Neither I nor the Foundation fund any organization with the purpose or expectation that it would finance anti-LGBTQ initiatives,” he said in a statement to Rolling Stone last year, “and when it has come to my attention or the attention of the Anschutz Foundation that certain organizations either the Foundation or I have funded have been supporting such causes, we have immediately ceased all contributions to such groups.”

[quote] Well, it seems Anschutz isn’t completely done funding the right-wing agenda.

[quote] As pointed out by Fader, the 78-year-old billionaire gave nearly $200,000 to Republican politicians and Super PACs throughout 2017. The recipients included pro-gun Colorado Sen. Cory Gardner, who was given $5,400 in March; Scott Tipton, a Colorado congressman who opposes same-sex marriage and abortion ($2,700 in August); U.S. Representative Mike Coffman, a pro-life birther ($5,400 in August); as well as Nebraska Sen. Deb Fisher and Speaker of the House Paul Ryan.

After the Fyre Festival disaster, I don't really feel bad for anyone who pays a large amount of $$ only to sit in the broiling heat, have limited access to facilities and be treated like cattle. If you really want change, stop by concert tickets & demand better - loss of the almighty dollar gets people's attention. Otherwise, be prepared to be treated like shit.

[quote]The “historic present” is used by either a ridiculously pretentious travel writer or someone who barely made it out of high school.

Fuck you, R43!

Y'all are just jelly!

Now excuse me, but this VIP is craving some chili tots! Where's the express line?

R39 R41 R42 R43 R44 - It was Ted Danson at a film festival. It was quite a few years ago. Yes, I graduated in the bottom half of my high school class. BTW, I've met more pretentious travel writers than I could ever count because of my career.

I watched it on YouTube and discovered The Marias and Still Woozy.

R54 I love the Marias song 'Carino'.

Forgot to link. But anyway. I hope the smaller groups and musicians who are often mere slot-fillers at Coachella do come way with new listeners and audiences. It must be hard playing to an audience when so many of them are really not there for you, and so many of them aren't there for the music in general until a big star like Beyonce or Gaga or Kendrick Lamar shows up.

VIP is always better!

The Maries sounded good and looked fantastic live. I was impressed with Still Woozy's musicianship and oddball stylings.

the Marias

Music festivals really vary and it's all about how much you're willing to tolerate. I couldn't do Coachella in it's current form at my age.

I've done Essence Music Festival in New Orleans and it was great. But Essence is generally just a bunch of artists together in the city at the same time at a few actual separate venues. So, you just go to inside the venue to see the a specific artist at a specific time like any other concert (with seats!) and then hang out in the city between performances, like you would on any vacation to NO. There are festival events outside the concerts and some are cool.

Lollapalooza in Chicago is doable. Crowds for sure and lines, but you can take public transportation there and if you get sick of it and bail or you came to see a particular artist and you're "done," there's plenty, chiller things to do in the city.

You all are forgetting how tickets start at $600 (for early purchases) and hotel rooms in INDIO are like $500/night (so gather 8 of your closest friends).

Glad I did the White Party in my youth. Fraction of the price, and relatively confirned to the Convention Center and Renaissance. Much more sex to be found and no one brought their fat friend to pig out on $50 worth of fast food in a sitting.

And no way would they expect gays to walk in those dirt parking lots.

In other words, it's like every other goddamn outside music festival. You old queens bitch about bitching just to bitch.

These events are for the young and frivolous. Yes, the cost of food, water, and merchandise is a rip-off, but it's also about the once-a-year experience of being surrounded by "cool people" and listening to "cool bands." Lord knows I've wasted so much time and money and almost died of heatstroke at every Lollapalooza and ACL that I could go to because it was fun.

I actually KINDA miss those days.

I've never been to anything remotely like Coachella. Do they let people camp out using tents or campers? Or let them bring food or drink? Just curious.

^There's a big camping section. I don't remember if you have to bring your own tent. Last time I went I believe they checked our bags for food and drink, so no.

Not unlike JazzFest in NOLA, but with camping and VIP section.

Leo Dicaprio is at Coachella every year, acting like he's still 22 and embarrassing himself.

No doubt in some VVIP section they don’t publicize.

Ryan Phillippe is another one who never misses Coachella, also acting like he's still 22 and embarrassing himself.

Hook up time!!!

Oh, I’m definitely going now. I’d love me some Timo-tongue.

How do they embarrass themselves?

I don't think anyone was bitching about Coachella - rather, pointing out that it's a corporate event & that if you're not in the VIP++ tent, you're going be in the sun sweating your ass off paying $10 for a bottle of water. If that's your idea of fun, go for it. No one on DL thought the idea of Coachella sounded like much fun until the prospect of making out with Timmy came up...though, are we sure that was a girl? It's hard to tell these days, you know!

I live in Chicago and one year I was given free passes to Lollapalloza. I thought it was interesting to go for one day just to walk around and check out the sexy shirtless boys, but it was hot, crowded and I refused to pay the idiotic prices for food and beverages. I stayed for around 5 hours and once outside the gates sold my two passes for the next few days for BIG money. Never need to go back, it was interesting but you get a better view and more comfort watching it on streaming for free.

Why don't they have it in February, when the weather is much more comfortable?

Coachella isn't about music, even if it once was. It's about "the scene."

[quote] How do they embarrass themselves?

They're too fucking old!

Both pushing 50.

Grow the fuck up, man.

I think it’s pathetic how corporations have taken over all of our culture. Coachella is like a Grateful Dead show, except with the Dead, there were zero corporations controlling the thousands who followed their tour. And there sure as hell wasn’t a formal VIP.

R76 Lukas Haas was there too.

I went to Coachella once- back in 2007. I was 24 and living in CA for about a year, so I knew it’d be a good time to go.

It was fun. Saw a bunch of bands I liked, took a nap in a field, saw some cool art, bought a shirt (and only had to wait fifteen minutes in line). It was hot, but I stayed back from the stages and crowds. Near the end of one night I went into a tent where I think The Gotan Project was playing and I was immediately handed some pills. Haha. I decided to leave at that point. I’m not a pill party kind of person.

I almost messed up though. I bought a three day pass early on so that was good, but about a week before the show I thought, “shit, where am I going to stay?” The festival was six hours away from where I was living. I looked up hotels near Indio, and of course they were all taken, except for the $600+ a night ones. I couldn’t afford that.

I figured I couldn’t be the only one with this dilemma, so I checked the official Coachella message boards and there was a ‘Lodging’ thread and inside were a bunch of locals offering their backyards for camping. I found one 20 minutes away from the venue for $15 a night. Perfect. I messaged the person to reserve a spot and brought a little pup tent to sleep in.

There ended up being 10 other people camping in this family’s back yard and we had a nice little fire and chatted for a couple hours after the show. I gave the teenage girl who lived at the house an extra ten bucks to let me take a shower in the morning. It was great.

Now I’m too old and tired for festivals and Coachella seems like such a hassle, but I’m glad I went once.

[quote] Lukas Haas was there too

Enough said.

R79, your post is a beautiful poem.

That actually sounds lovely — and I’m too old for this shit too. But there was a time! You hit it at the perfect time. I really think part of adventure is about riding a cultural wave before it peaks. That’s really the best place to be as the truly interesting artists and partners do not want to be near anything that mainstream (at least that’s how it used to be).

[quote]And no way would they expect gays to walk in those dirt parking lots.

Why?

R79, you sound like the kind of person who knows what they are doing.

And you are only 40 — 41 tops?? That's not too old