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Stop! Stop! STOP THE CRUCIFIXION!

Stop drawing portraits right now!

You heard the announcement! Who do you think you are?!

How dare you! You do you think you are?! Get them out!

I’m not dying for their sins if they’re drawing portraits — get ‘em out!

Blow out the candles — they’re right back there.

Three times! Three times you drew a portrait! You heard the announcement at the Last Supper, you heard the announcement at Calvary! Who do you think you are?!

This is the Holy Land!

(Gay background disciple: Jesus, they are gone. They’re gone.)

Thank you. Alright, so you know what we’re gonna do?

(Nazarenes applaud)

I have to say this: we have forgotten our public manners. We have forgotten that we are in community and this is the Holy Land. And all of you, every single person, has respect except for that person. And I and these two thieves appreciate it. Thank you.

by Anonymousreply 20April 8, 2023 6:27 PM

I've thought about doing a lecture series entitled: Jesus, the Saviour Who Wouldn't Delegate (& why you should!).

by Anonymousreply 1April 16, 2022 12:14 PM

Turn the water into wine and let's get this party started.

by Anonymousreply 2April 16, 2022 12:17 PM

The water will be turned into vodka stingers, R2.

by Anonymousreply 3April 16, 2022 12:20 PM

Pontius Pilate is a movie killer

by Anonymousreply 4April 16, 2022 1:01 PM

OP's a fucking retard.

by Anonymousreply 5April 16, 2022 2:28 PM

Patti LuPone at R5.

by Anonymousreply 6April 16, 2022 2:33 PM

FFS...most insipid thread ever. Is this really what it's come to on DL?

by Anonymousreply 7April 16, 2022 2:47 PM

President of the Patti Lupone fan club at R7.

by Anonymousreply 8April 16, 2022 2:48 PM

IIIIIIII'M

THEEEEEEEEEIIRRRRRRR

SAVIOR!!!!!

by Anonymousreply 9April 16, 2022 2:54 PM

Glenn Close is Judas is this alternate reality.

by Anonymousreply 10April 16, 2022 2:57 PM

I can see up that Praetorian guard’s kilt. Forget that hippy on the cross.

It’s hot as hell here on Calvary. Anyone have a Cosmo or vodka soda?

by Anonymousreply 11April 16, 2022 3:01 PM

He's fine! He sends his love!!!

by Anonymousreply 12April 18, 2022 10:23 PM

Happy Easter!

by Anonymousreply 13April 7, 2023 7:39 AM

Pontius Pilate was set up by the Pharisees because Jesus was a radical and a revolutionary who demanded reform of Judaism with irrefutable logic.

by Anonymousreply 14April 7, 2023 7:45 AM

.....

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 15April 7, 2023 7:45 AM

Uh-huh. And Andrew Lloyd-Webber is King David.

by Anonymousreply 16April 7, 2023 7:46 AM

I picked up this story in Colorforms® the other day at the Dollar Tree.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 17April 7, 2023 7:50 AM

Just leave the thirty pieces of silver on the nightstand.

by Anonymousreply 18April 7, 2023 8:04 AM

Everything's Coming Up Psalms

by Anonymousreply 19April 7, 2023 11:25 AM

Here's to the Disciples Who Lunch

by Anonymousreply 20April 8, 2023 6:27 PM
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