Stop! Stop! STOP THE CRUCIFIXION!
Stop drawing portraits right now!
You heard the announcement! Who do you think you are?!
How dare you! You do you think you are?! Get them out!
I’m not dying for their sins if they’re drawing portraits — get ‘em out!
Blow out the candles — they’re right back there.
Three times! Three times you drew a portrait! You heard the announcement at the Last Supper, you heard the announcement at Calvary! Who do you think you are?!
This is the Holy Land!
(Gay background disciple: Jesus, they are gone. They’re gone.)
Thank you. Alright, so you know what we’re gonna do?
(Nazarenes applaud)
I have to say this: we have forgotten our public manners. We have forgotten that we are in community and this is the Holy Land. And all of you, every single person, has respect except for that person. And I and these two thieves appreciate it. Thank you.
by Anonymous | reply 20 | April 8, 2023 6:27 PM
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I've thought about doing a lecture series entitled: Jesus, the Saviour Who Wouldn't Delegate (& why you should!).
by Anonymous | reply 1 | April 16, 2022 12:14 PM
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Turn the water into wine and let's get this party started.
by Anonymous | reply 2 | April 16, 2022 12:17 PM
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The water will be turned into vodka stingers, R2.
by Anonymous | reply 3 | April 16, 2022 12:20 PM
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Pontius Pilate is a movie killer
by Anonymous | reply 4 | April 16, 2022 1:01 PM
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FFS...most insipid thread ever. Is this really what it's come to on DL?
by Anonymous | reply 7 | April 16, 2022 2:47 PM
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President of the Patti Lupone fan club at R7.
by Anonymous | reply 8 | April 16, 2022 2:48 PM
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Glenn Close is Judas is this alternate reality.
by Anonymous | reply 10 | April 16, 2022 2:57 PM
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I can see up that Praetorian guard’s kilt. Forget that hippy on the cross.
It’s hot as hell here on Calvary. Anyone have a Cosmo or vodka soda?
by Anonymous | reply 11 | April 16, 2022 3:01 PM
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He's fine! He sends his love!!!
by Anonymous | reply 12 | April 18, 2022 10:23 PM
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Pontius Pilate was set up by the Pharisees because Jesus was a radical and a revolutionary who demanded reform of Judaism with irrefutable logic.
by Anonymous | reply 14 | April 7, 2023 7:45 AM
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Uh-huh. And Andrew Lloyd-Webber is King David.
by Anonymous | reply 16 | April 7, 2023 7:46 AM
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I picked up this story in Colorforms® the other day at the Dollar Tree.
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 17 | April 7, 2023 7:50 AM
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Just leave the thirty pieces of silver on the nightstand.
by Anonymous | reply 18 | April 7, 2023 8:04 AM
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Everything's Coming Up Psalms
by Anonymous | reply 19 | April 7, 2023 11:25 AM
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Here's to the Disciples Who Lunch
by Anonymous | reply 20 | April 8, 2023 6:27 PM
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