Do some people your age look like "old people" to you?

I notice it with celebrities from shows I used to watch. Kelsey Grammer was 29 when he started playing Frasier. The characters in The Golden Girls were supposed to be Rose, 55, Dorothy, 54 and Blanche, 53, when the show premiered.

Aaron Rodgers is my age and despite being $$, he looks like he's been to hell and back.

I was bitch slapped with this when I went to my 30th high school reunion. There were classmates there who easily looked 20-30 years older than the rest of us! I'm talking snow white hair, saggy wrinkles, walkers, liver spots, etc. One classmate hadn't appeared to age a day, but the rest of us showed we were aging at what I would have called a normal rate. Not sure what that one group had done with their lives to look so bad -but I left feeling really good about myself (for a change). I also see it on Scruff when I see guys who I think are older than I am, and then discover they are 10 years younger. I'm not saying I truly look younger than my age -just that some people seem to look much older than their age.

Only if they are tweekers or smokers

All of them.

Depends.

Hollywood 50 + looks way different than rural south 50+.

But yes, OP. Most people my age look much older to me than I look to myself, and even them.

That’s not to say I’m not aging and that it doesn’t show, because it does, but even with some gaps of hard living in my own life, I still look younger than my peers.

Biggest things:

Less wrinkles.

I’m not fat.

I have all of my teeth, not one tooth is missing and I haven’t had to replace any so far.

My hair is currently short, but not yet thinning out.

My face isn’t drawn

I haven’t crepey or saggy skin.

Most of this is due to genetics. I know this. My father looked much younger than most himself, until he passed, so there’s that.

I got together with my high school friends (class of ‘83) and showed all the pics to my friends. They all remarked how I looked like their younger caretaker instead of being part of their group.

I am 59. I took my Mom to her Primary last week. It is a practice with six providers. I was sitting close to the reception area and could hear the patients giving their birthdates. I was shocked at some of them being 8-10 years younger than me. But then some people would probably think the same about me.

I think I both look good for my age (a relative statement) and look my age (an absolute statement).

I think the vast majority of people over 40 look horrible for their ages - whether 40s, 50s, or 60s. Most people over 40 look at least 10 years older than their chronological age from what I've seen.

Yes, and I always think, "dear God, what must I really look like"

Most of us on DL know the basics we can control: moisturize, avoid sun & sunscreen, eat and drink in moderation. It's things like saggy jowls that cannot be controlled. We probably mostly look in between a SoCal "our age" and a hick town "our age" as r6 said.

I'm still delaying taking the retinol plunge and wonder what sign it's time I should start retinol. First wrinkle? First crow's feet line? First age spot?

It's the stress of having children that causes straights to age poorly.

Everyone who smoked for years/still smoke Everyone who didn’t wear sunscreen on a daily basis until they were much older (we lived in L.A.) Everyone married/divorced with kid(s) Everyone who didn’t have a basic skincare routine (moisturizer + sunscreen) People who have been through deep trauma or illness

Their level of ‘oldness’ varies, but one can conclude basic skincare, limiting stress and not smoking will keep you looking younger than your peers.

What R6 said is right. A lot of it is genetics

I'm 59. My hair started to go gray in my thirties. I'm mostly gray now. Some friends from high school and college look terrible. Some guys just let themselves go...stopped exercising, don't watch what they eat, and still drink like they did when they were younger.

The overwhelming majority who let themselves go are straight guys.

I'm 59 too. God, I feel every day of it too, but I checked out at Publix yesterday and the kid asked for my ID, after checking it she said " You don't look THAT old, my mom looks way older than you." She looked maybe 17, so her mother is probably early forties, if that.

I agree with the poster who attributed it to having children; the worrying about them must age them straight to hell.

R11, do it now- I started in my late 20’s.

I also agree about children- when people ask me why I appear to look younger than my peers, I tell them that not having children is a big factor (unless you have them before 21)- I say, “You’re literally giving part of your life force to create a living being- that’s got to take a toll on your body, in addition to devoting 20+ years to raise them, while you’re working as well”.

[quote]I'm still delaying taking the retinol plunge and wonder what sign it's time I should start retinol. First wrinkle? First crow's feet line? First age spot?

Skip retinol and go directly to a retinoid. You should have started using a retinoid when you were a kid, R11, like many of us who who had acne did. My GP put me on tretinoin (Retin-A) when I was sixteen. I'm in my early forties now and have used it every night since. I'm a physician and have colleagues who CONSTANTLY ask me why my skin looks so good, then they'll skip a beat and say, "Wait, have you been on a retinoid forever," and I'll reply, "Yep, since I was sixteen."

Get a prescription for tretinoin 0.025 and start out by using it Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Skip Saturday and Sunday. Wash your face with a very mild cleanser and dry it. Then use a moisturizer and wait 30 minutes. Apply a pea-sized amount of the tretinoin to your entire face. Expect to see some degree of flaking and dryness but persevere until you can tolerate nightly application. If you get overly dry and red, skip a night. It may take a year before you can tolerate using it every night, but I promise you the results will be worth it. Retinoids are the gold standard of anti-aging and the only topical that has any true benefit.

And wear sunscreen every day of your godamned life, R17. I forgot to tell you that. Don't use a retinoid if you're not going to use a daily sunscreen. You'll do more damage than good.

Gaining weight makes you look older, too. Even if you lose the weight, your face can have a drawn look from expanding and then shrinking.

Yes! Weight gain, ill-fitting/terrible clothes, gray hair and dry skin don't help! I am 52, but can pass for 40. A lot of it has to do with genetics, but taking care of your body, skin, hair, clothes has a lot to do with it too.

On FB, former high school hotties look terrible now! Only 2 still look good. Also, the OK/average looking high schoolers look better now! It is like they found their style/niche later in life.

I'm 34, but everyone tells me I look 19

Kids can also make you feel young. It depends.

Aging plays strange on the brain. You don’t feel old, you feel the same you always have. So you forget that you’re older all the time. I wouldn’t be surprised if I deemed some looks old who Is probably my age. They’re probably thinking the same of me. Great, now I need a sedative.

Ted Danson told a funny story on a talk show years ago and I always remembered it. He was on vacation and went into the local Blockbuster Video. The young clerk asked him for his driver’s license when he went to check out a movie. The young clerk got really excited when he looked at license. He said - “Oh wow! Are you Ted Damson’s DAD??!”

Every now and then I catch my reflection in a store window and wonder, "Who's that old guy?" 😳

Retin A cream or gel should start in your 20s

Dry skin: Cream

Oily skin: Gel

Either way, start in your mid 20s.

Also, THE SINGLE LARGEST factor when preventing premature aging of the skin is sun exposure.

I cannot stress how much of a big deal that is.

You need 15 minutes to an hour of sunlight daily where you are not wearing sunscreen. Try to sit in the sun or walk on it after 7:00 am and before 10:00 am to 2:00 pm. Sun after 2:00 pm is fine, but not as good as AM sun.

You need this exposure for vitamin D production and regulation.

Any other time, wear sunscreen, a hat, and UVB/UVA sunglasses.

Sunbathing is fucking fabulous. It feels amazing and one looks really good with a great tan, but if you want skin to hold on to elasticity, you will have to control your exposure to the sun with sunscreen and protective clothing, including hats which shield your face from the sun.

Diet is also a big deal, as is drinking tons of water daily, and diet.

Don’t smoke, either. I’ve met people my age with my skin coloring who never smoked, and they look SOOO much younger than I do. Had I never smoked, I’d look like them.

If you’re white, you’re gonna have to live in doors, never smoke, and have a perfect diet to look youthful in your 50s.

The bottom line is that those who have darker Kim (more melanin), are always going to look younger than their counterparts, unless they lived unhealthy lifestyles all of their lives.

^ darker skin

Being physically fit and slim makes people look younger, at least from a distance. I'm luck that I have always stayed active and I don't have aches and pains in my knees, hips or other joints that would cause me to walk slowly or with a limp. If people see me from afar and judge me on the speed and fluidity of my movement patterns, they would think me younger than most of my peers. On the other hand, I have silver hair and have had for the past 15 years. In fact, with bright lights on overhead, or if I'm standing out in the sunlight it appears almost white. So for those who look for dark hair as an indicator of youth, I'm already going to appear as ancient even though I have a full head of hair. . Skin is the big tell. Anyone over 50 without plastic surgery or botox is going to have wrinkles. How many and how deep is partly a factor of lifetime sun exposure and partly genetics. Oilier and thicker skin tends to wrinkle more slowly than thin, dry skin. Red heads and people with very white skin are almost always a mass of fine lines by their 50s and 60s.

So people over 60 who are overweight, are not physically fit, and walk slowly and with difficulty are going to appear older than people who are slim physically fit, and walk with ease. People with very wrinkled skin are going to appear older. People who are bald AND deeply wrinkled will definitely appear older, while bald people with smooth skin do not. People with white hair will appear older , but that is partly mitigated if they are slim and athletic. There are a lot of "tests" online to tell you what your biological age is vs. your age in years. For instance, on the following test, I scored 54 which is almost a decade younger than I am. The last time I had an STD test in a gay environment and had to give my year of birth, the person testing me almost gasped, and said, "wow, you must really take good care of yourself". I didn't know whether to feel hurt or complimented.

A few girls who were gorgeous in high school look like complete shit now. A lot of it was from smoking, rapid weight gain/loss or drug abuse.

Also try not to be British. That helps.

I was shocked to recently hear that a few people I work with are 2-4 years younger than me. The woman felt like a mother figure to me, the man like he must be near retirement. Also, I just watched an early episode of All in the Family and thought how young Archie Bunker seemed to me now, 40-some years later.

Though I think my face betrays my age, people often think I'm younger because I still lean and trim, and I don't act like an old fogey. Being open, optimistic, up for a laugh and aware of trends rather than grumpy and bitter goes a long way.

Sorry R26, but as a physician I have to say that your advice is counter to what the literature states. Even if your wearing a sunscreen, you'll get more than enough vitamin D. There's no needs to exposure your skin unprotected.

YOU'RE

^^^R31

[Quote] There's no needs to exposure your skin unprotected.

You drinking again tonight, doc? :D

^ 😂😂 ^

Look like "old people"...? I don't know what you're talking about.

Posture is a big age identifier to me. You can, as others have said, keep yourself reasonably healthy and wear vaguely fashionable clothes, but I think a bad posture can really age you. You've got to fight the stoop!

Several years ago when I had a Facebook, I went snooping at the accounts of people I went to high school with. I guess everyone would have been 44-45 at the time. Something I noticed was that the women all dyed their own hair several shades too dark; one girl who had light brown hair that she highlighted had suddenly gone dark brown, solid color like it was done in Magic Marker. Huge bags under their eyes. Even at nice restaurants or important events like their kids' graduations, they wore sweatshirts that were faded and too tight, it was so common it was like a uniform. It aged them like crazy.

The men were losing their hair and dressing like old men with khakis, plaid shirts and windbreakers, but facially didn't look so bad, mostly because they were all 75-150 lbs heavier than they had been in school and didn't have wrinkles because of it.

Of course, about five of those fat guys died of COVID within a two-week period around the holidays. I suspect more died but I stopped reading the obituaries after that.

I am happy and I've earned every year, so what do I care if I look my age? I am so glad the world has changed so much that I don't wish to be young in my middle age.

At my 25 high scholl reunion, I was schocked at how old some of my classmates looked. I'm 57 (How the F? )

I think I look pretty well preserved. I have a full head of hair, though mostly white/gray. If I dyed my hair, and was happier, I think I would look 10 years younger. I LOVE my white hair.

I have a tiny "crows feet". My jaws aren't too saggy...yet. My body is fine. If I was to get work done, it would be a little botox in my nasal labia, and something done to my jaws.

They all do because I am 70. Even me.

[quote]If you’re white, you’re gonna have to live in doors, never smoke, and have a perfect diet to look youthful in your 50s.

R26 thats sound advice, pretty close to what I done, and if I gotta be outside any time between 9-10 AM and 3-4 PM especially in summer I cover up and/or sunscreen, I go through a litre or two of SPF50 a year easy. And I could never afford to smoke

There was some anti-cancer diet advice on a a thread about scary shit which applies here;

[quote]I'll list a few of the foods I remember him mentioning but in general he thought: as many fruit and vegetables (particularly green leafies, berries and citrus) as possible, as much variety as possible (i.e. of fruit and veg), minimal animal protein, seafood (particularly shellfish)>meat, zero cured meat, mushrooms (as much variety as possible, not just white button), much more fiber than most westerners get. Specifics i remember: kiwis (skin included), mangoes (skin included), citrus (skin included), cranberries, cilantro, parsley, broccoli (he was VERY big on broccoli, possibly more than any other food), cruciferous veg in general, soy, green tea, earl grey tea, pomegranate, alliums in general, nuts, turmeric, ginger.

Exercise and staying slim is probably the biggest contributor to looking young though. Being obese ages you something horrible and fucks with your health

R28's biological age quiz knocked some years off my age and told me to do more weight training --fair enough.

It also told me to eat oatmeal or similar for breakfast every day. I've been doing intermittent fasting (no breakfast) since last summer and love it. I'm not convinced anymore that breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

Severe, long-term stress, of course ages you as well. I always looked young for my age until my mother developed Alzheimer's. I was around 40 and it was the hardest, most painful years of my life, taking care of her alone. Two years after her death and six years after she developed Alzheimer's, I look much older than my age.

Some people my age look ancient, some look quite good. When I spent a lot of time in England, I soon learned never to play the "Come on have a guess, it will be fun. Guess my age." If I guessed a "safe" 50 they would turn bright red, announce that they were 42, and turn their conversation to someone else. It seems there are a lot of hard looking 42s about who, to my eye, could pass easily for rough-living 54s. My neighbor is 52 and if I saw her on the street as a stranger, I would assume she was a posh, trim early woman of the horsey, smoking set, maybe 60-62. Her mother, however, is nearly 80 and has the same smart figure but is a stunner and could pass as 50 even with her white hair. It's a tricky game.

My friends have always been all over the place in age and by and large not a very vain bunch, no daily regimens of emollients and unguents and creams, certainly no injections or surgery. It's odd to have friends from college, all of us within a year of each other, similar education and class backgrounds and lifestyles, and see the way people age very differently, some more in body, some more in face, some exhibit what must be a genetic inclination to showing age all around on an accelerated schedule.

I have a couple of these . The first one is a friend of mine who hit the wall at 29 - he just started looking 40 in the space of two years and now he's in his early 40s but looks late 50s. He's very sensitive about it, which naturally makes it hilarious to talk about.

Second one is a guy I went to school with. I used to get the train to work and for a few weeks saw this guy at the station every morning who looked familiar. We eventually got chatting and I realized who it was. Christ he looked 50 but we were only 31 at the time. I don't want to mock him too much because I know he had a hard life when we were kids so it's probably because of that.

R18- Not all of us are living in South Florida, Arizona , Palm Springs or Southern California- Most months of the year in the Northeast where I live it's to chilly and wet to be hanging around outside and even in the summer when I'm walking in the morning there are lots of trees so I'm not that exposed to the Summer sun away. I take walks every day all year round. A bit of sun exposure is important anyway for vitamin D absorption.

If one wants to look younger try - No smoking, no drinking, no drugs and eating lots of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, nuts, seeds and beans and eat sweets , meat and other junk food sparingly.

R31- not in my case- I surf, do stairs outside, do a lot of walking, wear sunscreen and am still Vitamin D deficient. And I have a naturally tan skin tone.

For all of those advocating being lean and trim as they age? They are 100% correct in that being active, as well as lean & trim, adds to the appearance of youthfulness.

More importantly, however, is that they were able to remain lean because they’re highly active.

If I had to choose between youthful skin and being active and lean, I’d ALWAYS choose the latter.

Aging with mobility is super important.

As I age, I appreciate all of the years I’ve spent running, or going to the gym. I’m not naturally lean, however, I’m positive that one of the reasons my body skin versus my facial skin tends to not sag, is because I worked out a lot while younger. Even if it just meant walking 10 miles 3x a week or running 5 miles 5x a week.

The last thing you want is to become physically challenged with mobility. Of course, once we’ve hit 50, we have a lifetime of aging joints, accidents, broken bones or torn muscles that have healed, etc., but if you remained active consistently before 50, and didn’t gain weight, or lost it if you did, your body will thank you profusely.

For me, gaining even 10 lbs is very noticeable to me now, on the sense that my skeletal frame reacts to even the slightest of weight gain, and not in a good way. I cannot carry extra weight successfully as I age.

So, yeah. Go for long walks or do whatever burns up calories and sustains lean muscle mass. Just don’t forget your hat and sunscreen!

The only time I ever hear the words "slim," "trim" and "youthful" are on Datalounge.

As the saying goes at some point in life you have to choose between your face and your ass. Being too thin ages you. DL is behind the times with it's thin obsession. Being rail thin is not attractive to most modern people, gay and straight, and that's what DL seems to favor - just based on the various posts.

R50 that is pretty much complete horseshit. Yes, if you are severely underweight that does age you, but that is so rare in the developed world bar anorexics that it is insignificant as an issue. Obesity on the other hand is a huge and expanding problem.

And from personal experience on the apps and in real life being rail thin is a BIG plus! Especially as you get older, being rail thin makes you even more desirable, when I was rail thin ten years back I was getting lots of action, I'm still slim now but not rail thin, and still do OK. Any rail thin guy my age is going to get so many offers they can afford to be picky as fuck

I wasn't saying obesity is okay. And I'm not sure what apps you're on or what your age range is, but jacked bodies and big asses tend to be the big draws.

Taking about looking OLD

Faye Dunaway was only 26 years old in The Thomas Crown Affair when it was filmed in 1967. She looked at least TEN years older.

[quote] Posture is a big age identifier to me. You can, as others have said, keep yourself reasonably healthy and wear vaguely fashionable clothes, but I think a bad posture can really age you. You've got to fight the stoop!

Agree about posture. Queen Elizabeth comes to mind. I think that if someone had nipped it in the bud, she could have better posture now. All she needed to do was maybe use a hanging bar a couple of times a day for less than a minute each time (that's what I do). And/or get a weekly massage on the neck / upper back area. Easy.

I also think that the "face or ass" saying is overdone. Maybe it's an excuse for people to be 10% overweight.

When I was little, my dad scolded me about letting so many emotions show on my face. It was an odd reprimand, but it stuck with me and I try to keep a poker face.

Point is that, as you age, your common expressions get ingrained on your face. So, watch out. Laugh lines are OK, but the worried or concerned lines can age you.

R55 This is why I eschew smiling, laughing, and crying. Cut out the emotions and you'll be beautiful FOREVER......

Even at my 10 year reunion when people weren't even 30 there were a few who looked old.

A little extra weight as you age actually helps you look younger. The old saying about choosing your ass or your face is pretty true. If you're thin, your face will look more sunken as you get older.

A little extra weight as you age is fine and perhaps beneficial. But most people have a hard time keeping off a lot of extra weight.. most people can't even stop themselves from putting on that little extra weight let alone a lot of weight.

That's where good habits start to show, the ability to only put on five or ten as you get older as opposed to twenty or thirty

^ Exactly. My retired sister likes to stalk people from my past and sends me links. The men often look like Pillsbury Doughboy versions of their young selves.

[quote]Their level of ‘oldness’ varies, but one can conclude basic skincare, limiting stress and not smoking will keep you looking younger than your peers.

Add not drinking and remaining childless to this list. I've never liked the taste of alcohol, even when mixed with sweeter beverages, which is probably why I look a few years younger. My crepe turkey neck gives my age away, but I have few wrinkles and no crows feet, unlike my "weekend warrior" friends who had kids do.

R60 is right - I totally quit drinking about 12-13 years ago and was never much of a drinker prior to that. Never in a position to have kids for which I am grateful.

R53, there are women whom I call have “Lady Faces” - strong bone structure that make them look like older women way before their prime. Sharon Tate, Raquel Welch, and Margo Robbie are other examples. What is interesting to me is the amount of plastic surgery that is common for today’s face (a la Kim K). You could never cast a face like that in a period film prior the mid 90’s.