Internalized homophobia

I don't really care for this current trend of trying to label and optimize and "wokely" explain every single messy human feeling with some academia bullshit term. People are complex and can't be diluted to a term you learned about in a college seminar.

I think internalized homophobia has something to do with hating oneself and staying in the closet (there are of course life threatening situations were coming out isn't possible, so I'm not talking about that!)

Despising certain types of gay people is normal because straight people for instance hate other obese straight people too. You either like things or you don't and I don't know why I should like every gay?

Exhausting.

As DL’s chief bottom hater, yes. Yes I do. But I don’t think it’s the bad thing. Keeps me away from trifling ‘hos.

R4 is this what you do as a bottom?

It depends how far you go with that. Not wanting to have sex with fems (or butch lesbians) - fine. Not wanting to hang out with them because you find them tiresome, that I can also understand.

But the absolute hatred and disgust I see on here from some, thats a sign someone aint right in the head is all

I generally despise everyone, so internalized homophobia isn't really a factor.

Do you think that not liking slightly fem guys is only a preference?

Is it internalised homophobia or just preference? If someone isn’t attracted to fem guys why does that have to be regarded as internalised homophobia? Isn’t it just preference?

I don't get it. Jocks hang out with other jocks. Art nerds hang out with other art nerds. Skaters hang out with other skaters. Why can't masculine gays hang out with other masculine gays? Fems just hang out with other fems? Just like straight men don't see themselves as a monolith, I don't think gays should either. It made sense decades ago when being gay was a serious burden and a threat to one's safety. But nowadays, everyone just does their own thing. Fem gays always accuse other gays of having "internalized homophobia" and say "masculinity is a prison" and it's all projection. People prefer to hang out, date and fuck people they have some commonality with. Many gay guys are nerds, rugged jocks or plan average joes and they just aren't going to have anything in common with a flaming queen who loves Madonna, drag race and pop culture. It's wrong to bully and hate on fem gays and butch lesbians though but let's not act like they aren't bullies or aggressors at times as well.

I think extremely femme gay men and really butch gay women are putting on bullshit acts. So, I dislike them because I think they are fake as fuck. I also don't like grown women who act like princesses and straight dudebros for the same reason, though. So, doubt it's homophobia. It's the bullshit play-acting I hate, gay or straight.

R11 Thank you and I agree. I'm neither hyper-macho nor femme, just an average guy who loves books, video games, cooking and going on hikes. Both sides seem to define themselves solely by acting out a stereotype and it's off-putting. A lot of guys I meet and are interested also are just regular dudes who are casually masculine, bit nerdy but in touch with their soft side. Zachary Levi is a good example of what I find sexy. I also find a lot of gays my age (late 20s and 30s) felt alienated by the stereotypical gay culture portrayed on TV like "Queer Eye" and such. I have little interest in fashion or makeup. I like pop but I also liked rock, rap, jazz and R&B.

What’s internalized homophobia?

I probably have some not realized homophobia growing up in the 70s and 80s. But I’m just too content with my life to analyze it anymore. Could I be happier and have more self-esteem - I don’t know. But at some point, just live because there ain’t that many more days left to enjoy.