Name one male figure from history that you'd want to fuck

Gregory Peck

Prince Philip, when he was younger.

Alexander Hamilton -fiery and hot man!

Jesus

Some big, older, burly, horny no name serf.

I like it rough.

Alexander the Great.

^ This ^ I've always wanted to know if Alexander was truly "Great" or just merely fabulous 😛

None before the advent of penicillin.

I'd like to blow a really hot person living in the stone age who has never had a blow job before. Ideally in a cave or the middle of a forest.

Well, Europe didn't have syphilis until we conquered the Americas r8. In fairness, it's only fair considering all the small pox and shit. But hey, try an Ancient Roman, they bathe and everything!

"I'd like to blow a really hot person living in the stone age who has never had a blow job before"

Believe me, the day after evolution created the dick the blow job was invented

Young Rick Nelson. I don’t give a fuck about his music, but he was hot.

LBJ

Antinous.

Malcolm X. Well-spoken and courageous.

Hmmm very tough choice. No politicians per se. But maybe inventors hmm A.G. Bell maybe.

^ I never thought of that... I bet Tesla could throw a mean fuck 😛

Clint Walker or Henry Cavill. I like 'em big and brawny.

Milton Berle

Huey P.Newton

Lee Harvey Oswald. I've always thought he was hot.

George Washington. I'd ask him to take his teeth out for the blowjob.

Another vote for Alexander the Great

Young Abe Vigoda

John Matuszak

Oda Nobunaga

Legendary playboy Porfirio Rubirosa… had a big, fat Dominican cock that many rich ladies happily paid millions, in the form of prenups and divorce settlements, to enjoy for a few months or a even a year.

Don Knotts.

John-John. Who else?

Marlon Brando in his youth

I'll bet Vincent Prince threw a mean fuck.

Edward IV

Hitler

Rubirosa sounds fascinating, I would have wanted at least a look at that thing.

Lord Alfred Douglas.

Jesus

Jason Bateman

I would do naughty things to a young Teddy Roosevelt.

I'd bottom for the Bantu Nation

For the size queens: young-ish Forrest Tucker. Never pretty, but always testosterone-laden alpha male sex.

R34 yes, Rubi had quite a life!

Rubirosa was linked romantically to Dolores del Río, Eartha Kitt, Marilyn Monroe, Ava Gardner, Rita Hayworth, Dorothy Dandridge, Lupe Vélez, Joan Crawford, Veronica Lake, Kim Novak, Judy Garland, and Eva Peron and hundreds of other socialites, celebrities, and heiresses. He and Zsa Zsa Gabor were seen together during her marriage to George Sanders. When she would not marry him, despite the fact George was divorcing her, Rubi married Barbara Hutton. He was named a co-respondent in George Sanders' divorce suit from Gabor.

Rubirosa was married five times, but never had any children. His wives were:

Flor de Oro Trujillo, Rafael Trujillo's eldest daughter, December 3, 1932 – 1938

Danielle Darrieux, French actress, September 18, 1942 – May 21, 1947

Doris Duke, American heiress, September 1, 1947 – October 1948; with marital gifts and final settlement he received an alimony ($25,000 per year until remarriage), a fishing fleet off Africa, several sports cars, a converted B-25 bomber (La Ganza), and a 17th-century house in Rue de Bellechasse, Paris.

Barbara Hutton, American heiress, December 30, 1953 – February 20, 1954; in the settlement he received a coffee plantation in the Dominican Republic, another B-25, polo ponies, jewelry, and a reported $2.5 million.

Odile Rodin, French actress, October 27, 1956 – July 5, 1965

His playboy lifestyle was matched by stories of his sexual prowess. His reputedly larger than average penis size inspired Parisian waiters at Maxim's to name gigantic pepper mills "Rubirosas". The name stuck and has been in use all over the world.

He's alive now: onlyfans ho Cliff Packer.

Merciful heavens!

Young President James Garfield was so hunky, I would go back in time and runaway with him and keep him from being assassinated.

@r38, "I would do naughty things to a young Teddy Roosevelt. "

Too bad ol' Teddy couldn't say no to a Big Buffalo Mac

Jesus Christ

^ Did he ever lose his virginity?

^what does he even look like

The last Tsar.

Nicholas Romanov was born in 1868, so that can hardly be a photograph of him in 1868...

Legendary Swedish boxer Ingemar Johansson.

Errol Flynn and his son in their prime.

why just this morning I was thinking Gerry Goffin.....Carole King's ex husband had a very nice chest.

These two daddies

This uniform daddy

JFK followed by Ari Onassis

Paul Bunyon

This WWII airman.

I remember him, R58 -Good call!

What's the story with the airman?

This hunk of a man.

Young Ward Bond - I'd put my face right in that huge ass of his.

r60, according to photographer Horace Bristol, the crew of the Catalina PBY had just rescued another pilot who had been shot down:

“The man who was shot down was temporarily blinded, so one of our crew stripped off his clothes and jumped in to bring him aboard. He couldn’t have swum very well wearing his boots and clothes. As soon as we could, we took off. We weren’t waiting around for anybody to put on formal clothes. We were being shot at and wanted to get the hell out of there. The naked man got back into his position at his gun in the blister of the plane.”

^ As the rest of the crew cheered him on and hid his clothes 😛

Hadrian.

That's an amazing story, and a beyond beautiful man.

Alexander the Great

Kind of surprised he was blond though (scroll down a bit for their "photo" - surmised from sculptures I guess - or drawings?

Gorgeous man, anyway.

Not Abe Lincoln. He was a wife beater.

What is it about Greeks - often good looking but features are a bit askew, like a Picasso imagining of a handsome man (see Alex in R67 but I see it in other Greek people)

Kaspar Hauser

These alleged Greeks don't look askew to me at all:

^ It's all Greek to me 😛

Read “Lust” by Geoff Ryman. His character can control time and brings back Alexander the Great for a fuck and what he conjures back is a freaked out maniac! Freaked to suddenly appear in the 21st century!

Hugh Beaumont in his prime

^ You could have posted a pic ya know? 😉

Achilles.

Macca

The first one that comes to my mind is young Joseph Stalin.

R58 he is hot. I wonder what happened to him.

R71 - thanks for that link - that's what I call "butt beautiful", every single one of them!

@r79, Well, he'd be about a 100... Think about it 🙄

R81 My point was what kind of life he had? Not how old he would be today.

No R79 but that photograph was first published in the book AT EASE Navy Men of WW2 which is a homoerotic archival piece loaded with similar pictures the author spent years finding.

I've got a ton of them, but for now I'll go with The Red Baron.

Chad Douglas.

@r82, Came back from the war, married his high school sweetheart, bought a MCM house in the suburbs and had four kids. Like they all did

Tchaikovsky

Reinhard Heydrich

Errol Flynn.

One of the pianist/composers in the 1800s was popular among society women for lessons because he was dreamy. Chopin or Liszt I think?

I'll take either one.

Wait, maybe not Chopin because he had the TB so bad, I wouldn't want to catch it.

Liszt then. Oh those long fingers!!

I feel like picking an actor is being lazy but…

Buster Keaton could fuck me til Tuesday.

JFK, Jr.

Another vote for Huey Newton

John Wilkes Booth

R51, He fucked Elizabeth Taylor in the 1950s.

These two daddies.

Adolf Hitler. With a kitchen knife.

Caesar Augustus

A threesome with Domenico Lalli and Emanuele d'Astorga. Lalli was a poet, Astorga was a composer (Who looked like a young García Lorca). Lalli's real name wasn't Lalli - he fled from Naples, leaving his wife and 13 children, adopted a fake name and toured around Italy instead after having met Astorga on the way. They literally composed and wrote something when they needed to pay some bills and moved on from there. (Lalli wrote many famous libretti too and became very well situated later in life.) Absolutely incredible story, and it's a shame no one has made a movie yet.

I make choice of Vlad the Impaler. The name of such man say to me "Hello! I fit good in your poosey."

An orgy with these Union cavalry officers in the Civil War.

This guy, though I get the vibe he'd be pretty crappy in the sack.

I feel "Historical" discounts actors/performers. They aren't really considered historical figures.

R29....John john....jesus what a specimen of male beauty

R104, Kennedy men were not and are not known for having good hygiene, but I believe JFK, Jr. was an exception.

I've read that his Uncle Bobby would bathe sparingly and wear the same clothes day after day as a young man, to the point where people told him he stunk.

Louis Comfort Tiffany

Dr Pozzi

van Gogh. Dutch have big cocks, he was a genius, and crazy guys can be the hottest fucks.

Talking of the Kennedys, I was amazed by this pic of Ted. He looks so thick and husky. I'd love to have seen him from the rear in those little tight shorts.

Back off, r78!

Andre The Giant

Baron von Steuben.

Hermann Rorschach

Big-balled (and big assed) George O'Brien.

the photo of Rorschach is going to make me jizzblot

Primo Carnera

This German dude.

Whoever this was.

I'll take them both r117 r118!

Piet Mondrian.

Or as a friend of mine calls him “the guy that painted the partridge family bus”

A young Jackson Pollock

R118, that's Grand Duke Michael, younger brother of Nicholas II.

[quote]Alexander the Great.

Nice to see his name appear so many times in this thread, he was my first "celebrity" crush. We learned about him in the 5th or 6th grade and most of the imagery was statues and coins but I was fascinated by him.

^ He looks like Sean Penn's better looking younger brother

Since we're discounting actors (sorry, Gary Cooper!), I'm going with Lord Byron

James Garner

R125 Lord Byron was a little fatty when he was 18. Just 5'8 and 88K (194 lbs) He was apparently very image-conscious and manipulated his.

Mark Antony. Bisexual party animal.

Russian soldier

I want to fuck Julius Caesar. The rest of y'all bitches are underachievers.

Which brother would you?

^ Hmm. Let's try this one.

Peter Dinklage

Cyclist Maurice Garin:

JFK Jr.

Tchaikovsky

R134 he probably had great quads and ass.

Tyrone Power

They would make for a nice three-way

^ William really looks like the one on the right without hair

Jesus Christ for sure

The problem with Alexander is that he was short. It was often mentioned in everything I read about him. He was short and he was very athletic. I'd say maybe 5' 7"-5'8". He was Macedonian. We often associate being Greek with being swarthy and it is true that the Greek islands had swarthy people. But the Greeks form the mainland, Macedonia region had a light complexion. Now, a lot of the historical things we read about that are represented as Greek actually happened in Turkey. Definitely swarthy people.

^ That's NOT that short. You are a picky one

So "history" now includes Show-Biz?

Well, FINE. Then my answer is Tyrone Power!

Eladj Balde'

All of them!

Merrick Garland! I would probably need lots of lube. I bet his ass is tight!

r144, how does history NOT include show business? So far, people here have mentioned royalty, athletes, soldiers, artists, scientists, composers, et al, so why should actors be off limits?

I bet Merrick Garland would moan quietly and with dignity as he is being fucked by big cock!

🤣 You Merrick Garland trolls are a hoot

Well, since he is dead now he would qualify as a historical figure, but I would select Mike Henry in 1966, and would ask him to wear his Tarzan loincloth. He was physical perfection and it's a shame nobody ever took photos of him completely nude. His estate could have cashed in on those photos for decades.

Toussaint Louverture or Isaac Newton Whichever would have me.

Almanzo Wilder, husband of LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE authoress Laura Ingalls Wilder.

I guess this thread is for TOPS only.

R153- Wow. He was very good looking- in fact he's better looking than the bland looking actor who played Almanzo Wilder on the tv show.

The REAL Laura Ingalls was LUCKY.

Glaswegian architect hunk, Charles Rennie Mackintosh

Unless they have done something extraordinary I don't think any celebrities ought to be included. Historical figures are a separate category. You say Tyrone Power and someone else might say O.J.? See? Ugh. Although I'd bottom for Elvis.

Lord Byron

Czar Alexander III - talk about packin'!

Either of these two - or together!

R148, Not a History major, were you?

The Hugo Brothers - "Giants of the Alps". Just imagine the size of the dicks on those two.

R160, Mr. Left is delicious.

But let's say you're correct, r148.

Why bother asking, then, about someone from history?

Just say "Which dead person.....?"

History includes today.

Just for those of you who mention Tyrone Power, he admitted that he was a lousy lay and people rarely asked for a second time.

On the other hand, his youngest son, also named Tyrone Power, was a total hottie when I knew him in college and there were never any complaints about his prowess in the bedroom.

I wouldn't have minded getting spit-roasted by Jack Kerouac and Neal Cassady.

R161, as a matter of fact, I have a BA in history.

Russian Prince Alexander Konstantinovich Gorchakov

He was 29 when this portrait was painted and died at age 40 from injuries suffered in WW1.

Johannes Brahms

Did you fuck Tyrone Power Jr.?

I want the hot ambassador on the left deeply inside me

R172, nobody fucked Tyrone Power; Jr. He is the straightest guy I ever met. He is gay friendly, but not gay curious.

[R170] if JFK jr had a stache

R175, Yes, please.

Rudolph Valentino, silent film star and sex symbol, swoon...

R167 here. R174 is correct -Ty was always totally straight as far as I could see. But he was one of my hottest college fantasies.

Raphael, the Painter. I heard he was beautiful. Died young. Loved to party too, too much.

Tyrone Power was in love with Judy Garland. He was also Bi. He was married and Judy refused to be the homewrecker.

Clyde Barrow (of Bonnie & Clyde)

Clyde looks mildly trans.

This guy. And his name is God:

If Alexei Romanov had lived to adulthood, when he became 18, I would have fucked him until he bled.

Melvyn Dewey. Inventor of the Dewey Decimal system. Hottest librarian ever.

R185 He was a horrible person, both racist and misogynistic.

Oh, I know. The attraction is physical only.

Clyde was definitely bi -leaning towards gay.

Lucky Luciano! Why the fuck not?

Lewis Powell, conspirator in the Lincoln assassination. Pictured here looking all moody and gorgeous with his River Phoenix-grade cheekbones.

^^^ Great lips!

Whoever posed for this statue.

This German sailor.

This American sailor.

Robert DeNiro, Sr.

Vasili Arkhipov Василий Архипов

George Best

Lex Barker: he had the biggest package in Hollywood.

Bugsy Siegel

Gustavus Adolphus!

R198, Former wife Arlene Dahl said that Lex had the biggest cock she'd ever seen, and she was also once married to horse hung Fernando Lamas.

Arlene Dahl was a size queen

Leopold I, King of the Belgians

^ He has a camel toe 😂

[quote]Clyde was definitely bi -leaning towards gay.

No, he wasn't. That rumor was started in John Toland's 1963 book THE DILLINGER DAYS, which supposedly chronicled the 1931-1935 Public Enemy Era, but that entire book has long since been debunked by historians.

However, during his two-year stint at Eastham Prison (ages 20-22) Clyde was sexually assaulted by a much taller/larger inmate (a lifer named Ed Crowder) whom he eventually bludgeoned to death. This traumatic incident is what set him on the path to revenge. When Clyde was released from prison, he formed the Barrow Gang for the sole purpose of getting back at the prison system. After two years of robbing stores, banks, and armories (and killing several cops/civilians along the way) Clyde finally got his revenge when he and Bonnie raided Eastham, freeing several prisoners, killing one guard and injuring another.

At any rate, a lot of serious research has gone into studying B&C since the 1980s, when Toland's book was debunked. Modern historians don't believe Clyde was gay or bi. There is no evidence whatsoever. In fact, he was quite popular with girls throughout his short life (he died at age 24). Prior to meeting Bonnie, he had had several girlfriends and at least two serious relationships, Eleanor Williams and Grace Donegan. The latter two he had their names tattooed on his body. On top of his babyface, hazel eyes, reddish dark blonde hair, and full lips, Clyde also had an alpha personality which were all attractive to women.

R205, In the movie "Bonnie and Clyde", he was portrayed as either a lousy lay or impotent.

He was gay, romantic, artistic, troubled ... and quite handsome. King Ludwig II of Bavaria. He left a legacy of ridiculously unnecessary and excessive building projects that now serve as tourist attractions. He died mysteriously at the age of 40. Just think what he might have done if he had found the love of a good man.

R207, I see possible gay face.

Ol' Ludwig was a Gay after my own heart, building and decorating lavish castles 🤗

Ludwig was a drip. About all he did was drain his kingdom's treasury.

^ Ooh, he liked to spend money too, more reason to love him 😍

R211, And he wasn't a bad dancer.

James Hunt

R68. I beg to differ about Mr. Lincoln....

Jack London

Lindbergh baby kidnapper Bruno Hauptmann was quite handsome.

"Lindbergh believed that Hauptmann must have been involved in the kidnapping and murder of his son. He remarked that Hauptmann was magnificently built but had eyes like a wild boar."

Okaaayyyy........

R213, His wife went from that to Richard Burton.

Jesse James. Sorry if he's already been mentioned, I haven't read through the whole thread.

Alexander the Great

Antinous

Hadrian

Frederick Barbarossa

Richard I

Henry V

Monsieur Philippe I

Prince Platon Zubov

Alexander I

Shaka Zulu

Richard Burton (the explorer)

Teddy Roosevelt

Ernest Hemingwey

Secretariat

R221 He was quite the stud.

Billy the Kid

This guys from the Great Depression.

^ The Depression was good for your figure

Eric Heiden

This classic Indian wrestler.

R224, He appears very well groomed.

Richard Burton. Conrad Veidt. Brad Davis. Nureyev. Yul Brynner. (Err... you said one; so pick one and I'll oblige).

Friendship kiss between Russian and U.S soldier, 1945.

Jesus.

"Friendship" R230

This cowboy, whoever he was

Quebecois poet Emile Nelligan. Sadly, he was institutionalized at age 19 for schizophrenia, but some believe it might've been due to his internal struggles about being gay (it hasn't been proven that he was gay, it's a theory that some believe).

[Quote]Émile Nelligan (December 24, 1879 – November 18, 1941) was a Canadian Symbolist poet from Montreal who wrote in Quebec French. Even though he stopped writing poetry after being institutionalized at the age of 19, Nelligan has become an iconic figure in Quebec culture and is considered one of the most important Francophone poets in the history of Canadian literature.

[Quote]In recent years, however, a number of literary critics have theorized that Nelligan may have been gay. Some of these sources allege that he became mentally ill due to inner conflict between his sexual orientation and his Catholic Faith, while others suggest that he was never insane at all, but was involuntarily committed to the asylum by his family to escape the stigma of his alleged sexual orientation.

This is Émile Nelligan many years later, where he was still institutionalized.

235 replies and no mention of this guy?

R236 That's Emiliano Zapata...forgot to add that in the post.

Agreed that Rick Nelson was one of the great beauties of all time.

You lost me with Teddy and Ernest R220.

And Ernest was renowned for having the tiniest penis in the land - which is why his novels are so blustery.

Nelson was almost as pretty as Alain Delon, but a bit too baby-faced or earnest -- Delon had it ALL. Beautiful but manly/jaded in that French way. Magnifique!!

If all those marble busts of him are accurate, then Marcus Agrippa, Augustus' close friend and #1 general.

This person’s great grandfather

Getting spit-roasted by Gerald Ford and his teammate, Willis Ward.

That's okay, r166; I'll just stare at his eyes.

But if Tyrone were taken, because others here have named him, I could go for the younger Herb Alpert.

Edgar Allen Poe

That slutty gay atheist spy, Kit Marlowe, was undoubtedly a good lay. Who's had him?

Mariusz Pudzianowski - World's Strongest Man!

Rock Hudson. He was gorgeous, tall, strong, and a complete slut. Unlike the other men mentioned in this thread, he was actually gay and probably had impeccable anal hygiene. What’s not to love!

Ulysses S. Grant was kinda a hot dad.

R239, Teddy Roosevelt in his younger days:

And Hemingway, c. 1923

And R239, I'm not a size queen...as long as he can get hard and cum. I'm more of a butt man, myself. A nice hard and tight arse overcomes all other shortcomings for me!

Bulgarian poet Hristo Smirnenski

R249, I agree and he was tall -6ft 5 and he bottoms since he died of you know…

I know absolutely nothing about him beyond his stunning name, William Michael Spartali Stillman, but I used to have such a crush on him when I worked there.

Here’s a pair and they’re twinsM Many will remember the book My Side of the Mountain about a boy who runs away to live on his own and trains a falcon. The author, Jean Craighead George had twin brothers who were strapping outdoors men and naturalist who helped save the Grizzly Bears in Yellowstone and wrote for National Geographic when they were teenagers.

Here they are looking like A&F boys, probably wearing A&F, decades before that became a thing.

Damn, I'll take the DILFy era of the Craighead brothers and be the sandwich filling!

@r253, Your poet really looks like Harry Connick Jr.

Hemingway R252 looks a lot like Dr. Will from Big Brother!

R259, minus the rat face.

Lewis Powell.

And when he cums, he'll yell, "I'm mad! I'm mad!"

R262, I'll bet Mary Surratt wanted a tumble with that fine hunk of man.

Mary Surrat was the proprietor of a boarding house, r262. She tumbled with all her guests--it was included in the board.

Atilla the Hung

JFK, but he said "I'm not that kind of boy."

A young Tony Bennett. Young Gene Kelly. Young Sinatra. Young John Gavin. Young Guy Madison.

John Gavin, SLURP

Woof! 😛

Judas Iscariot

I kinda doubt the real Judas Iscariot looked like actor, Johnathon Schaech .. lol.

R233 looks like a younger Chris O’Donnell

Sir Lancelot

Sampson from the Bible!

R274, it's Samson. If you're so hot for him, you could at least spell his name right!

R275 FUCK OFF!

Jesus. Could you imagine?!

Absalom

After you, R276. I was going to call you a dumb ass for misspelling your crush's name, but refrained from doing so out of politeness. Thanks for proving that label correct :-)

Who else from history do you think is hot? Alixander the Great? Hurcules? Atilluh?

R279 In case you missed the message the first time: FUCK OFF!

R243 very handsome all-American manhood there.

The boy/man who posed for Michelangelo's statue of David. The most famous intact man of all time.

Can I pick his age, too?

It makes a difference, you know.

Alexander the Great or Alcibiades, ""before."

Bruce Jenner

Schlocky painter Maxfield Parrish was gorgeous.

Maxfield Parrish also had a very nice body, and would photograph himself for nude studies.

John Dillinger, because he supposedly had a huge cock.

Young Joe Biden

The original Machine Gun Kelly was a hot dad type. I'd have done him.

Samson! Sorry Delilah.

Armie Hammer 🍑

Dan Abrams 🍆

Stephen Boyd

Raquel Welch had a crushed on him when they were in Fantastic Voyage (1966)

The early 80s porn star John Leslie just does it for me.

Julius Caesar. Ruling the world is hot.

Paul Robeson.

Don't judge. I'm going to say Henry XVIII. Or Byron.

[quote]R91 I feel like picking an actor is being lazy but…

I shamefully agree. I’d pick Robert Mitchum, though he probably wasn’t much of a conversationalist.

Perfect otter archetype, Montgomery Clift. WOOF.

I realize we’re not talking prospective husband material here, but I think Clift would be quite a handful.

Codependents only need apply!

Any and all Pygmies (never mind Bantus).

All tantalizing and yet legal!!!!

I hear you, R299, but you like what you like! I did stumble into this new to me documentary that I'm now looking forward to watching.

Alcibiades

I don't think the guy in the brief clip at R300 is Montgomery Clift, and if he is, he sure doesn't look like him to me.

This guy Such passion. I bet he was an amazing lover.

Hope the photo links correctly.

Peter Jennings, ABC News

r306 = David Tyler Muir

A thirtysomething Ernest Hemingway.

Thomas Jefferson! Tall hot ginger! Yum!