Who Was/Is The Greatest Beard of All?

Eva Braun.

Queen Isabella, married to Edward II.

David Beckham's wife Victoria

Are you kidding, OP? Neither Kelly Preston nor John Travolta are (or ever will be) in the same category as either Elsa Lanchester or Charles Loughton.

I imagine Elsa's reaction to being told of her husband's penchant for twinks to be along these lines:

Helen Hunt.

Diane von Furstenberg

r2, given that a "great beard" both supports her gay AND successfully hides his homosexuality, I'd say Isabella was a unique failure as beard. Conspiring to murder Edward doesn't help.

Don’t look at me.

Jada Pickett Smith

Joan Plowright

Denied it to almost the bitter end

Kelly Klein

Elizabeth Taylor.

Raymond Burr's fake dead Scottish wife.

Lynn Fontanne

George Sand

Jesus Christ, I can’t believe this is even up for question

[quote]Queen Isabella, married to Edward II.

Except she killed him. Which is not in any proper bearding contract.

oops, missed r7. Sorry, r7

Maris Crane.

Katharine Hepburn did a particularly fine job because she brought an air of misdirected scandal with her. The generation who followed her "romance" with Tracy thought it was sooo romantic that their love survived his wife's churlish refusal to divorce him. I was never able to grasp why this differed from Liz Taylor's romance with Eddie Fisher or Ingrid Bergman's with Roberto Rossellini, and can only assume it was that nobody could imagine Tracy doing anything immoral. Absolutely nobody in the straight community who has heard of Tracy would believe you to this day if you told them he was gay, mainly because they bought the story lock, stock and barrel.

Danica Patrick

Hall of Fame

Bess Myerson for Ed Koch

Anne of Denmark

Elaine Benes.

Elizabeth Wharton Drexel Lehr, the wealthy wife of Newport and NYC high society "court jester" Harry Lehr.

Told only on her wedding night that her husband was disgusted by her and would never touch he, and afraid to divorce for fear of killing her elderly mother.

Linda Porter for Cole Porter

Anne of Denmark for King James I

Queen Mary II for her co-ruler, King William III

Mary Magdalene

Wallis Simpson

R14 Alfred Lunt was a Merkin for Lynn.

Barbara Walters for Roy Cohn

Judy and Liza each bearded for three gay husbands.

Helen Hunt is such an unpleasant actress. I fear her.

Sarah Jessica Parker

R19, for the win!

And R23 and R28, Anne even conspired to replace one of James' favorites (Robert Carr) with another (George Villiers).

She was an understanding beard. Unfortunately, Liselotte, Anne's great granddaughter, ran into difficulties with her husbands' lovers.

Sorry, R28. I meant to reference R26!

And R28, Wallis certainly was well tutored in that Chinese brothel!

[quote]Raymond Burr's fake dead Scottish wife.

Didn't he also invent a young son who died of leukemia?

Good lord - Burr also said his first (fictional) wife was shot down by the Nazis in the same plane that carried actor Leslie Howard to his death. To be fair, I think Howard may have been on a spy mission for England... but Burr's shocking lies reach the pathological level. He claimed to have taken the stricken child on a last trip to tour the USA. Ahhhh.

What a piece of work!

R37, He also dated Natalie Wood in the 1950s and they came close to marrying.

Dianne… legendary Oscars date.

Coral Browne

Elizabeth Taylor? Who? She never pretended to be in a relationship with Forbes if that’s who you think qualifies her. I suppose the best beards are the ones we don’t know of!

R41, Hedda Hopper was certain that Michael Wilding was gay, claiming in her column that Stewart Granger and he were lovers.

Granger let it slide, but Wilding sued Hedda for $3 million. Settled out of court, Hedda paid him $100K.

Diane

Camila Cabello

Melissa Gilbert for ludicrous discrepancy in looks. She dated most handsome gay actors including tammy cruise and Rob Lowe.

Sarah parker for being horse faced and bearding for guys like jfk jnr and Mathew Broderick.

Taylor swift for writing songs about her numerous gay boyfriend's.

Selena Gomez for best acting with Justin Bieber.

Loni Anderson for blackmailing Burt Reynolds to get more money and custody.

Amber heard for queen of blackmail.

Angelina jolie for pure evil and obsessive adoption.

Jennifer Garner for calling papp's every single time she has outing.

Arnold Schwarzenegger daughter for Chris Pratt bearding proving Arnold Schwarzenegger entire family is gay.

Cher for duration of bearding. Sonny was straight,btw

R45 ^ Taylor’s boyfs actually beard her Beard and beard alike!

R45 = everyone in Hollywood is gay. There are no famous straight people.

Clooney's beard is the most famous beard of all time.

No beard in the history of the world has ever had her profile raised as much as this Michael Jackson doppelganger. Checkout that photo of her on that recent meritless Time magazine cover his PR bought for her. Spooky MJ resemblance and this is after the huge makeover she received when she first the landed gig as his beard.

By all accounts she was never more than a third chair junior lawyer on low level cases before his Fixer recruited and hired her. Suddenly she's a world renowned human rights lawyer? GMAFB. Most of the intermittent legal work she has done since she changed her name to his has been to defend perpetrators of human rights violations not victims. The rest of her so called work is token appointments to boards and committees his PR arranged for her to fulfill the terms of her contract. But the public buys the smoke and mirrors big time defender of the downtrodden lawyer narrative his PR spews. There is very little internet history about her before she became his beard just education, his PR scrubbed the rest.

She even does photo calls at film festivals with the cast of his movies. WTF. No one else's "spouse" does that. But I suppose his PR needs to ingrain in the public's mind that he's suddenly straight at every opportunity.

It's quite a sweet contract she negotiated for herself. All these perks and doesn't even have to sleep with the creep. The misfortune of a 16 year old twink became her good fortune.

They are also so awkward together and have been since the beginning. Never look each other straight in the eye or laugh together. Compare photos of him with good buddy Julia Roberts laughing and comfortable and then with his beard, world of difference. The OTT choreographed red carpet PDA screams fake.

Cue his PR roaches and resident DL sycophants....

Far from the best, but there is something to be said for Irina Shayk.

You bitches are slipping!

How about president macrons 67 year old beard. I think that wins.

Wallis Simpson is one I missed. So darn obvious. I thought he was just brain damaged but gay is so obvious

R48 ^ There’s plenty about Amal’s appalling family of crooks, gangsters and arms dealer. Georgey daren’t come out now!

Natalie Wood. She died in service to Bearding.

I don't know that Natalie realized she was a beard.

R55 well,Natalie was lesbo

When both partners are bearding each other, like Vincent and Coral or Janet Gaynor and Adrian, that's the traditional definition of a lavender marriage. It's the icing on the cake when they actually like and respect each other and enjoy the partnership, like Alexis Smith and Craig Stevens.

Meanwhile, I'll suggest Cleopatra. Both Julius Caesar and Marc Anthony were known to be bi.

I'll also point out Martha Washington. She was the wealthiest woman in America and enjoyed being Mrs. George Washington and at the time they were the ultimate power couple. Just as wealthy Indiana socialite loved being Mrs. Cole Porter during her seasons in New York and Linda and Cole were actually best friends.

Mary Todd Lincoln

Mary Todd Lincoln was both extremely stupid and extremely crazy and I doubt she realized she was a beard. She caused him endless grief.

^^^ I guess they had MRAs in the 19th Century too

Agree r34 and others, from what I've read James and Anne had a happy, very content marriage. Not sure if she was particularly sophisticated or if she just made the logical choice to be happy being Queen of England, raising her kids (which hey, they did manage that) and not agonizing about the stupid trauma of knowing he had boys on the side. In other words, yes, the perfect beard.

They both knew how to make shit work when it wasn't exactly the ideal they may have wanted initially.

Of course, then that perfectly straight little prisspot Charles I came along and fucked up in ways that were unimaginable before him, in his perfectly uncompromising and godly little way.

R4---I was trying to give an example of the spectrum of beards---Olde Timey Hollywood style to Recent Hollywood style, though I realize Hollywood hasn't cornered the bearding market.

Minka Kelly

Kate Bosworth

Julianne Hough

Eiza Gonzalez

Kim Karda$hian

Renée

Kelly Berger

Some of these women I have never heard of, like Eiza Gonzalez and Kelly Berger. Who are they and who did they beard for?

Cindy Crawford

Georges Sand

R19, I AM the new Hollywood. The old Hollywood's at Betty Ford (snortle). - Ms Ernestine Tomlin