Did Your parents ever find your gay porn?

OP is 88 years old and her feeble mind can barely concoct a risible story for us.

I didn’t own any gay porn until I was about 23. And it wasn’t on a computer - the World Wide Web hadn’t even been invented yet.

I swear this happened. My mom is/was a drama queen. I didn’t know her behavior was abnormal until I got older and saw how most parents act.

OP, Mrs Ramsey would like a word...

Some of us did not grow up with computer porn. Parents could not prove that you were lusting after underwear ads in the Sears fall/winter catalog. Ah, the good ole days!

I found her Playgirl years before she ever found mine. Harlot!

That is a gripping story and traumatic experience, OP!

My sister’s Seventeen magazines provided inspiration too (they often featured photos of cute guys).

No porn, but dildos and butt plug yes.

Hey, some of us are so ancient we subscribed to the International Male catalog! But I was only browsing because of the fine quality of the clothing.....

My parents filmed my first gay porn!

I never had porn, but I had a huge stash of 16 Magazine, Tiger Beat, Teen Beat, etc. which often featured shirtless actors that my pre-teen self would stare at, not really understanding why until a few years later. However, I once wrote a short story that was gay themed (and somewhat risque) when I was a freshman in high school and my mother found it, even though it was hidden in my room. She was very upset about it, but I managed to turn it around on her and I screamed at her for invading my privacy and snooping, and maybe I left it there on purpose to give her a shock so she'd be sorry for being a terrible mother who didn't trust her child.

Oh, I was good.

Remember the International Male catalog? My parents didn’t suspect a thing lol.

I’m also from the “paper-only” generation, but luckily(?) my father had a stash of het porn magazines. That is, until I found a few gay magazines mixed in. I was too excited about seeing gay porn for the first time to think about why my father had it. It did give me relief of more than one kind: I learned that I was not the only person in the world thinking about sex between men. There were enough of us that there were magazines with it!

That reminds me that I had a shirt in college that said “I’ve Always Been Drawn To Boys.” I accidentally put it in the laundry and my mom found it and asked me about it and I said it was a friend’s shirt. Also came home with crabs once. Told her I got it from a costume.

Crabs? In High School?

My wife found my dildo

No. My cum stained sheets is another matter.

My mom did, when I was like 14, but here's how being a fan of both gay AND straight porn actors spared me from having to come out there and then. So mom accidentally stumbled into the computer folder where temporary internet images are stored. Pretty much all of the x-rated images I watched in the weeks before that were in there.

I was summoned to the computer by shell-shocked mom (stepfather was present too) where she scrolled through some of the pics (with hard cocks and gaping holes galore) and told me she'd never seen stuff like that before. However, I was also a huge fan of straight porn actors like Choky Ice and David Perry at the time and was a member of their yahoo fan groups (remember those?) so there was no shortage of pics of them fucking cis-women in that folder.

Naturally I claimed it was some sort of a computer virus that planted those deviant images on our computer but mom wasn't buying it. That is until my (otherwise idiotic) stepfather did something really sweet - he confessed to watching porn online too occasionally and said that the straight porn images in the folder were not the ones he'd viewed. That seemed to convince mom it really was a virus and I was let off the hook.

I'll always be grateful to pussy for getting me out of that mess.

Slightly OT, but speaking of magazines: It was a bit of a family tradition for all males to receive a subscription to “Playboy” upon turning 18. My dad and uncle both got subscriptions from my grandfather, but when I turned 18: nothing.

My dad had me figured out.

I wouldn’t have minded getting it though. For the articles (really).

My mom walked in on me blowing her third (gorgeous and horse hung) husband. She walked over to her perfume vanity and gazed into the mirror at our sweaty assignation. As she sprayed Chanel No 19, she fixed me cooly in the eyes via my reflection, her back turned towards us. "Before you leave the house, look in the mirror and take one thing off. Well son, if you want him, you can have him" she said, then walked out the house and drove away in her white Aston Martin Volante.

That’s nifty.

R21 is pure fiction. Absolutely something out of a screenplay.

R23 what gave it away, Sherlock?

R23 Something out of a bad screenplay.

Fixed it.

I appreciate that, R25.

R17 That reminds me of a guy I knew from an old aol m4m chat room. He came home from a gay orgy apparently wearing another guy’s underwear. He came home, it was dark he got undressed and got into bed with his wife.next day, said wife found another man’s underwear in the laundry. He had some s’plain’n to do!

My nosy sister found my gay porn mags (Numbers, Blueboy, etc) stashed in the best hiding spot ever--between my mattress & box spring. She told my mother, who sat on it for a week or two. One day I was dusting the air hockey set that was under the bed, & she came up to me & asked me if I was gay. I told her yes, & she kinda freaked out (even though I'm sure she'd long suspected). She said things like "I always knew there was something wrong with you!" But nothing super terrible. I do remember telling her, "Leave me alone, I'm cleaning you room, goddammit!"

Things were tense between us for about 6 months, then she came around. My whole family is pretty liberal, & she was (& is) my best friend, & I think reacted more out of a sense of guilt, that she'd done something wrong to "turn" me gay. She was dating someone (a clueless alcoholic CEO) who told me my dad should've taken me to a whorehouse when I'd turned 18. My godmother's son, who was in turn my mother's godson, was around 18, & his mother feared he was gay, so my mother told her her boyfriend's dumb advice, & voila, my "godbrother" was taken to a Nevada brothel by his stepdad. He declined to sleep with the hooker that his stepdad paid for, they just talked.

Now my mother's very political, pro-gay marriage, & all of that. A few years after the gay mag incident, she saw I had a bunch of VHS gay porn. I told her she should watch one, so I picked out "Jumper," which had recently won video of the year. She watched a scene, straight through to the cumshot, but then ejected the tape. Later she said the guys were attractive, but it wasn't her thing. (To be fair, straight porn isn't her thing either, I think she watched one or two movies with the dumb bf).

Christ on a cracker...sharing porn with mom?

[quote] One day I was dusting the air hockey set that was under the bed

That should've been mom's first clue you were a gayling, R28! JK, but glad to hear your mom ended up being really cool about it all.

I used to print out pictures of naked men and glue them in the pages of a journal I had. My parents found the book. Oops.

To those of you with butt plugs and dildos, where were you getting those from? I'm kinda clutching my pearls, here. I just used cucumbers from the garden. Mom just thought that I was finally eating my vegetables. I didn't have the heart to tell her, until much later, that cucumbers are actually a fruit and so was her son.

My best friend was my boyfriend so he slept over whenever we got horny. One night my mom came down to the basement while we were doing anal. We quickly dismounted and under a big blanket. My mom stood there silent and then asked us why we were naked. I replied “we’re hot”. She turned around and went back upstairs. We resumed ass fucking. I was 16.

Never.

I shiver at the thought.

My mom found it but I just told her I got it out of a box in Dad's closet.

The first time was when I stole the Playgirl my mother got as a gag gift for her 40th birthday. Then there was the $200 phone bill for the chat line I thought was a local call! Finally there was the gay porn she found under my mattress while I was in high school. She still had the audacity to be SHOCKED when I came out in college and it took her a few years to come around.

No. Fortunately, I only got busted with my dad’s discarded porn.

I swiped one of my oldest brother's straight porn mags and carefully cut the men out of it, like paper dolls. I finally threw them in our little stove, but of course, somehow, some of them managed to magically get out of the stove and under it (it was very heavy). Then my mom, unbelievably, decided to move the heavy stove and clean under it (for no reason at all) and discovered them. I heard her asking each of my brothers in turn about them and when she finally got to me, I said some girl had given them to me at school. She actually picked up the phone and was going to call the girl's parents! I had to confess they were just mine and luckily she never mentioned it again. But, holy cow, how did this even happen in the first place??

It wasn't porn it was constantly listening to the obcs of Hello, Dolly!, Mame and Follies. They were not pleased.

I had a 3.5 inch floppy that could’ve gotten me in a lot of trouble in the wrong hands.

[quote] I had a 3.5 inch dick (when not floppy) that got me a lot of pleasure in my right hand.

FTFY.

I bought a gay magazine (Gay Times or Attitude). I was deeply closeted, but the cover titillated me so much that I just had to buy it. I felt ridiculously nervous just buying it.

The cover was of 3 Bel Ami models, and I was just infatuated…

I took it home and read it again and again, hiding it in a variety of places, until one day, after a few weeks, it had just disappeared. One of my parents had presumably found it (probably mum) and thrown it out without a word.

I was embarrassed and secretly angry, but In a strange way it helped me, because I felt that my big, bad secret was out anyway.

I tricked my grandfather (I was desperate) into ordering a porn video through the mail for me but changed the order form for a gay compilation tape but my evil bitch of a grandmother intercepted the video and showed it to my mom causing a huge shit storm.

R43, what happened after your mom was shown the video?

She interrogated me, then didn't speak to me for the rest of the day, I tried to convince her that it wasn't the tape I ordered, whether she believed me or not I don't know, that evening she made me smash the tape with a hammer in front of her, and that was weird even for her.

What strikes me is the elaborate theatrics when the truth was evident for all parties and the truth was immutable.

R45, had it been a straight porn tape would your mother and grandmother have been okay with it?

I don’t understand the original post, his mother found the porno when he was 13 and for the next 20 years believed he was straight?

Thats a good point, R46.

I can laugh about it now, but being caught looking at gay porn that second time at 13 was terrifying, embarrassing, soul crushing, and made me want to crawl under a rock. I considered suicide or running away.

I really did think something was wrong with me, and my mother’s reaction and rejection only solidified that internal self hate.

Thinking back on it, her reaction was extreme even for homophobic late 90s, and even more so for a 46 year-old, educated, politically moderate, upper middle class woman.

Although it was difficult for me to come to terms with my orientation, my only recourse is how much easier it is for kids today.

Most parents today, when faced with a situation of a teen son looking at gay porn, would embrace and accept him. The fact that it was gay porn would be a non issue for most parents today. They would be more upset that their son was viewing sexually explicit content.

It’s astonishing how far things have come in the last ten years.

My mother found all my Playgirl magazines, which I had shoplifted from the mall, my senior year in high school. I came home from school one day and found the folder that I hid them in sitting on top of the outside garbage can. She obviously wanted me to see that she had found them, but she never said a word about it ever.

Looking back, I can see a definite shift in our relationship from that point forward. We were never that close again. Thank goodness it happened mere months before I left home and went to college because things felt different. I often wonder if she ever told my father.

I sure missed having Christopher Atkins' nude layout to jerk-off to those final few months before college.

R48, my mom continued asking about girls and presuming I was straight (despite never dating or talking about women), and I just never corrected her.

Maybe I’m just a weak person, but I was so traumatized by her reaction to me looking at gay porn, that I feared she’d reject me if she ever found out the truth, so I kept it a secret.

Until I finally couldn’t continue the lies and told her 3 years ago.

R50, did your father ever know you were gay?

Yes! My mother found all my Sean Cody DVDs! Unfortunately, i was on the cover! After she watched all my scenes, she simply said, "With howling like that, you should've tried out for the school musical!" And she dumped the DVDs on my bedroom floor and we never spoke of it again!

[quote] Did Your parents ever find your gay porn?

Parents never found it, but my older brother who was back from college for the summer did.

I was around ten when my mom subscribed to Playgirl. Not gay porn per de, but it sufficed. I actually was more interested in my dad’s Hustlers, since they were “hardcore” and showed hard-ons. Playgirl, when they had full, frontal nudity, showed only flaccid dicks.

My mom found an issue of Penthouse under my bed when I was a sophomore in high school. Being a foreigner, she didn’t understand the concept of Penthouse Forum and assumed I was into it for the hairy vaginas.

R47, They probably wouldn't have been exactly okay with it, but I doubt it would have inspired the ritual of destruction bullshit my mom pulled.

R23 Really, Columbo?

Good Heavens, R5! Is that Bruce Jenner looking all handsome and butch with his hands on a boy in that Sear's catalog photo?

R14 My dad had some gay porn stashes in his closet, as well. I was dying to talk to him about it, but never did out of respect.

They never found my porn but they did find my drag. Very hard to explain.

totally, I was mortified

[quote] Very hard to explain.

Try.

R60 Well that was a missed opportunity, you could combined your collections or at least swapped your stuff.

I'm always very cautious, yet one day I forgot my laptop open, in the living room, in plain sight, like an idiot. I had paused a Time Tales scene during a blowjob. LOL I go back to the living room very confident nothing was on and my dad is there reading a book with a clear view on the paused scene. PANIC. I just took it away and we never talked about it.

Tim Tales, of course*

R66 You’ve been watching Carrie too much

Sorry R66 - that was meant for OP!

R50 Something very similar happened to me, but I had enough Playgirls-among others-to fill an entire box.:) I had kept it hidden in the back of my rather large closet in my bedroom under some clothes. This was in the 80s.) I was out of the house and when I came home the box was sitting ever so delicately on my bed. She had been in to “clean” my room. I was deeply humiliated-and then became enraged. We had a screaming match, I accused her of invading my privacy, the whole nine yards. She never mentioned the nudie magazines, which to this day I can’t figure out if it’s a good thing or not… she was deeply religious. I can’t even begin to imagine what we would have said to each other- if we had addressed the obvious. That I was gay. I mean she knew. She always knew.

I just put the box back in the closet. Pretty symbolic. Because we’ve never talked about my sexuality to this day. She’s still alive at 92. I’m 58.

Incidentally, I had that Christopher Atkins issue too. Made good use of it. And I eventually I learned to do that guilt free ha ha!

My mom caught me jerking off to a shirtless picture of Josh Harnett in 7th grade. I've had a difficult time looking her in the eye ever since.

How does one crawl *down*stairs?

We had a family computer that I used to look at gay porn on when I was an adolescent/young teenager. I was tech savvy and fairly smart (smart enough to delete history and whatnot), but my dad is a computer whiz who majored in computer science in college—yikes. He came across something on there and never brought it up to me because he’s a decent guy (his sister was also a lesbian and he wasn’t homophonic), but he must have talked to my mom about it at some point because she coldly told me she was “very worried about me” regarding something that had been found on the computer. She got over it though.

Perhaps more horrifying was an incident that occurred when I was in college. I had some porn video on my laptop that I’d been watching at home, and I stupidly didn’t close it and just shut my computer. I went to a Starbucks near the campus to get coffee and study, and I opened my laptop and the video player was up and immediately started playing (no volume, thank GOD). I closed it as quickly as humanly possible, but I was mortified. I’m 99% sure the blonde female barista who had just made my coffee saw it, as my back was to her and she had a clear view of the computer screen.

^Homophobic, not homophonic—Christ almighty. Stupid autocorrect. Also, I somehow managed to inadvertently post this in a thread on the “Bros” box office failure that was closed immediately after my unintentional comment

Did anyone see that Hoarders show where the sisters cleaned out their brothers hoarded home and the entire second story was filled with porn, cross-dressing clothes and dildoes? He just sat outside and let them find all that stuff and they had no idea he had it.

R74 yes, and i was mortified for him. I haven’t watched the episode since because I don’t want to relive that humiliation for him, but if I remember correctly, his sisters were real cunts about it. I find it bizarre that he allowed a TV show crew to come in there without disposing of that stuff first. I know he was a hoarder, but would you really forget you had all of that in your bedroom? It’s almost like he wanted them to find it.

My Dad found mine. I had hidden it in my microscope's case.

The complicated part was that the porn in question was a short story called "Calculus Class Orgy." I had written it. The characters were all classmates of mine, many of whom my parents knew.

Lucky for me, when Dad confronted me about it, it said he could never tell my mother about it because it would kill her.

When I came out to Mom years later, long after Dad had died, she didn't die.

[quote] How does one crawl *down*stairs?

Yeah, my mom found it.

She came in while I was watching TV once and just said "I found your stash, you may want to move it."

And walked away. That was it. So I did.

My porn was never discovered

I kept one or two Playgirls under the carpet in my closet, with my suitcase on top of it.

(I had earlier torn up a corner of the carpet, and later lightly tacked it back down - foolproof!

R19. Choky Ice. I haven't heard that name in years. Stupid name but nice uncut dick and frosted tips

Had no idea he did a solo video

R77, she started to walk down but was so grief stricken, that she had to sit down and “scootch” her way down the remaining stairs. Basically sitting upright until she reached the bottom step.

This of course is forever etched in my mind.

No, I grew up in the pre-digital era. My "porn" was fashion magazine clippings that I could have easily explained away as photo reference for my art, and VHS recordings of MTV Spring Break and some late-night raunchy sex comedies that coincidentally happened to feature hot guys.

R79 Wow you really went to a lot of effort to hide that stash, huh?! I love-and find it hilarious- that Playgirl was such a gateway drug for so many of us. ”Entertainment For Women” my ass!

I’m intrigued by the posters that have discovered gay porn in their father’s collections. What does that do to the teen psyche? Relief? Shock? Both? I can’t really imagine.

I openly bought the book Looking Good and I knew my mother wasn’t sure what it meant. But my porn stash was well hidden. I remember going into a porn store at 16 to buy a few magazines. I was so nervous but I was compelled to. Ended up with a partner who looks like one of the models in my first magazine.

As expected, "International Male" showed up at r10.

Also, this was the only gay porn any of us really needed. And it was piped into our homes on broadcast television.

Same as the OP for me, my dad snooped in the internet history at the websites I’d been visiting. I was about 12 and was absolutely mortified. He just said I know what you’ve been looking at, then sort of sniggered. He never told my mum, who later found my printed out pics of naked men anyway.

My mum fought for me to get access to the public library's age restricted reference section. . . where they stored the art, bio and anthropology books.. after exhausting the home library of mostly 60s/70s psych books; which were quite graphic with their sections on homosexuality. She decided it was an acceptable trade off that I had an early preoccupation with the male form but was reading books well outside of my age level. But ultimately, later, had a more difficult time with me being publically out...

and as a teen, my dad made a point of stashing a penthouse in my room because he kenw I'd be looking for dick. . . with the thought if I had, at least, that I wouldn't be out trolling for dick. Little did he know... though, even with that, his levels of denial still couldn't grasp why I wouldn't want to marry a woman.

OP's mom was a drama queen, any surprise he turned out gay?

I kept hard core gay porn mags locked up tight in a metal combination lock box so tight I could have taught Jeffery Dahmar a few things about security.

In my second year of college, I lived off campus with a roommate. I had my porn stashed away in the ceiling. I had to get a chair, push back a heavy board and then reach around to get it, every time I wanted to jerk off. It was very well hidden, which was appropriate for my state of mind. Later in the year, my roommate told me he was gay. I still was deeply closeted but about a month after he told me it occurred to me he must have a porn stash too. I looked through his dresser and there it was. And so easy to access.

He had a bunch of Hustlers too, which introduced me to Johnny Hardon.

[quote] A few years after the gay mag incident, she saw I had a bunch of VHS gay porn. I told her she should watch one, so I picked out "Jumper," which had recently won video of the year.

And that’s where you went wrong. Early 90s porn was the worst. You should have selected a Falcon Studios film from the early 80s or a Catalina/William Higgins-directed classic.

I was looking at naked pictures of the delectable Jonathan Cake, when I nipped downstairs to get a drink. I hadn't realised my Mum was upstairs. She went into my room with some fresh towels, which she placed neatly on the chest of the drawers - right next to my computer with the naked actor staring back at her.

She didn't say anything at first - she's a difficult woman to faze - but when Jonathan Cake appeared in an episode of Poirot we were watching, she remarked: 'Oh, he's the one you like! Don't blame you, he's lovely.'

He really is!

[quote] Wow, you really went to a lot of effort to hide that stash

Yes, I did, R83.

Which is why it was never discovered!!

(Can you tell I’m proud?)

Holy shit, OP and I are the same person! I also got busted in 1998 thanks to that pesky fucking computer cache I didn't even know existed. My dad beckoned me into the office where my mother was sitting and crying. He goes, "What is all this!? Bubblebutts.com??" (I'm still haunted by hearing those words come out of my dad's mouth). He then asked me if I was "confused" about my sexuality. I told him no (which was true--I wasn't confused, I was gay!) and I told him I'd been tricked into clicking on disguised email links that had taken me to those sites. Shitty excuse for sure because the cache of sites I'd visited was a mile long complete with hours worth of timestamps. Anyway, he then said, "I bought this computer for educational purposes and so far all you kids have used it for is to look at PORN!" I was mortified because this entire conversation was happening with the door open and I was pretty sure my siblings could hear it all. Finally my dad stormed out of the room and my mom goes, "You're going to be spending a lot more time with your father from now on." (She's one of these ignorant bitches who thinks boys become homos if/when they don't get enough affection from their dads).

It was never spoken of ever again and I never had to spend any more time with my dad lol.

Also one time I stole a pack of playing cards from Spencer Gifts because they had pictures of super hot male strippers on them. When I moved out of my parents' house for college I threw them out only to discover them in my parents' closet a few months later. Those creeps had actually gone through my trash and collected "incriminating" items to confront me with later on.

[95] Your dad was using the cards to j/o

I find this thread one of the most illuminating I’ve ever read on DL. Just fascinating. So many examples of truly terrible parenting… tragic almost, but also hilarious somehow. Hilarious in the universality of how we all negotiated our way through how mortifying it was. God forbid your kid should discover his/her sexuality. Double God forbid if your kid reveals themselves to be queer.

I will say I don’t have a lot of sympathy for adults who would shame their offspring outright. I understand the awkwardness around it all. But not the shame. Fuck that. I can only hope it’s gotten easier for both gay youth AND their parents.

R94 Yes I can and good for you-I think ha ha? I was whatever the opposite of discrete and careful is.

In retrospect I think deep down I must have wanted to “get caught”. The closet is so fucking exhausting, even then. I mean, putting aside the fact that NOBODY wants to admit “yes, I masturbate” to your parents. It’s one thing to say you’re gay and quite another to say “here’s my mags filled with naked cock and ass!”

I was in a threesome and we filmed it. Anyhow, that’s how my parents learned I was a whore.

I lived with my dad for a couple of years when I was in college. I had a couple of gay VHS tapes and a few issues of Freshmen in a box in my closet. An older gay friend had given them to me. My dad wasn’t a very nosy sort, but I went on a two week trip and when I got back and went for my stash box, it was obvious someone had rifled through it. For one thing, I had always kept the magazines in chronological order! Dad never said anything or acted any differently. I think he suspected I was gay and went snooping. I came out a couple of years later and he was NOT surprised.

I’ve still never talked to him about it, but I do wonder what he thought of all that.

I watched lots of double anal videos on my computer as a kid. Got into piss videos atc9

R100 gives new meaning to the words anal retentive

My bitch stepmother liked to go through my garbage can. She’d claim the cat got into it and was carrying such and such around in his mouth. Which was BS.

There was a guy at school I liked and I was doodling his name over and over with hearts around it. Then from my gym shower glances, I drew his cock from memory. I balled up the paper, threw it away and then forgot about it. And God knows what else I threw away on top of it!

I came home from school a week or so later and was confronted by that bitch and my father about the paper because the cat was allegedly playing with it. At 14 I was asked if I was gay. I was too scared to confront it at that age. It was humiliating and ended with me crying…and the two of them screaming at me. Never mind they were both out of work and losers.

Leaving home was great. Only seeing them once a year, is all I can handle. Now they ask me for money.

No, but our housekeeper did. Mucho embarazoso.

My parents found my porn and more. One time my parents went to a wedding so I invited my fuck buddy over. He was also my best friend at the time, and we both found out that the other was gay(we said "bi', but that wasn't true). Anyhow, he came over, and we both proceeded to strip and I had a pile of gay porn that we looked at while we feeling each other up and jackijg off. Suddenly we heard a door opening. Holy.shit! My parents were home way earlier than I thought they would. No place to hide, no time. They walked in the door and we were both naked with gay porn strewn all over the floor. They said hi and my dad started clearing his throat, which he did when he was nervous. They walked upstairs quietly.Neither of them said a word and never mentioned it. My mom is a saint, and she was probably more worried about embarrassing US than any embarrassment she suffered. It was so fucking awkward, but it's actually an awesome memory. My parents were cool. Oh, my friend and I were sophomores in Catholic high school.

[quote] I’m intrigued by the posters that have discovered gay porn in their father’s collections. What does that do to the teen psyche? Relief? Shock? Both? I can’t really imagine.

R84 My father was the last thing on my mind when I found the gay porn. My dick was doing the thinking. I went through his other porn stashes to see if I'd missed any other gay stuff and waited to see if any more appeared.

Before I left for my freshman year at college in the 70s, I ripped up the collection of pictures of shirtless men I collected over my teenage years, mostly from magazines like GQ and Esquire, but also from the tabloids. A few showed pubic hair; I was exceptionally sad about trashing those. I feared I might die in accidental circumstances at college. I didn’t want my parents to find them in that case.

I was looking forward to meeting other male students who showed the same interest once I arrived. Within the first semester, I exchanged blow jobs with four guys who lived on my floor of the dormitory. I didn’t regret tearing up my collection. I saw so much more than bare chests and pubic hair. My nose was buried in pubic hair. Back in the 70s, there was a lot of it…

Damn, R105, your parents sound very cool

My dad found my double anal stuff. He was watching it the next day with his pants off.

[quote]My wife found my dildo

Oh Greg, that must've been so traumatic for you.

And your wife.

I was so stupid when I selected where to hide my porn magazines. This was before VHS tapes. I knew my mom would search my room so I stashed them in the cold air return vent located outside their bedroom. (It was the only vent that wasn't screwed into the floor.) I mean, who would pull up the air return grate in the floor? This hiding location was fine for about a year. Then, for whatever reason, my folks decided to call in a company to vacuum out the cold air ducts in our home. I got home from school one day and my mom told me that she had the air ducts cleaned. It didn't hit me until later that they would have found my stash. I was mortified to find out later that my magazines were gone!

Not a word was said. I pretty much forgot about this episode until I saw this topic. Thanks OP!

R110 Well, you're not putting that in MY dishwasher!

R111 Maybe your parents never saw your magazines. Somewhere there may have been a duct cleaner at home jerking off to your porn stash.

[quote]"What is all this!? Bubblebutts.com??"

[quote]"I bought this computer for educational purposes and so far all you kids have used it for is to look at PORN!"

I love your Dad, r95.

Finding gay porn in your dad’s stash would suggest to me that your old man is probably bisexual (at least). I remember finding my dad’s porn VHS tapes which mostly consisted of Jenna Jameson vids (could he have been any more pedestrian?)

I found out years later through my brother that my dad had stumbled across the gay porn I was searching on our communal computer when I was in high school. I had a habit of going on there after getting home from school and beating off to it before everyone else got home. He told my mom about it (parents were divorced by then), and neither ever confronted me (thank GOD), but she was apparently mortified (as in crying because I was gay). From what I've been told, my dad was laughing hysterically at her response to this. My parents were very opposite—my mom is fairly conservative, first-generation American from a Russian Jewish mother and hardcore Irish Catholic father (Catholicism won out and that was how she was raised). My dad, on the other hand, was born and raised in LA without a religious background, had gay people in his family (two gay uncles and a lesbian sister) and has always been a generally progressive-minded person. His reaction was essentially "yes, teenage boys watch porn". He didn't care that it was gay porn. Looking back at it, I realize I was fortunate to have a father like that, because I know that's not been the case for a lot of young gay men—for some, it was grounds for being disowned and thrown out of the house.

The '84 Summer Olympics in Los Angeles will go down as some of the best porn of our lifetime, r86. Especially fan fave Terry Schroeder -- 25 y.o., 6'3", 215 lbs, blond, hot as hell -- who was both a star of the US Water Polo team AND the naked model for the newly installed statue of the ideal male athletic form outside the gates of the LA Coliseum. That any man was so physically perfect seemed to defy the very laws of reality. Plus, I mean, it was water polo. Water polo. Did I mention water polo? I was 13 and in lust.

I went to answer this but... it's too painful to write about. This is the first time I've felt this way about anything. Usually I'm pretty open.

I guess I'm more comfortable just not thinking about it.

I'm now the adult in the family and I found my widowed 88-year old dad's porn stash - titles like "Teen Girls Wetting Their Jeans". I had no idea he was into that kind of thing.

[quote] Mom was so upset she crawled down the stairs,

r61, I was out in the open, In the kitchen with my mom right there. I pulled a feather Boa out of the walk-in pantry and started playing around with it not thinking anything about it when my mother just started shrieking" YOUUUU ARE NOTTT DIVINNEEEE"

I had a shirt that said “I was always drawn to boys” and brought it home from college after my junior year. She saw it in the laundry and confronted me. It told her it wasn’t my shirt lol.

I found crumpled old naturist magazines from the 80s in my father's wardrobe. There was also a Playboy or two which looked much less used, though they were quite a bit newer (90s).

Anyway, the thing about the naturist magazines is that they had pictures of men as well as women. The women tended to be somewhat attractive (the editors realised why people were buying this stuff) while the men were rather unprepossessing.

Naturally, that leads me to wonder whether he's gay/ bisexual - yes, the men in the magazine were unattractive but that may be the closest he would allow himself to get to buying gay porn.

I do remember seeing a guy in that who truly blew my mind. Tall, lean, dark hair, big bush and dick. Helped confirm to me that I'm gay.

My folks know I probably consume gay porn when I need it. They just think I'm 'confused' and would rather lie to themselves with Catholic propaganda and deceit so they can live on. My dad once told me 'At least I don't have to jerk off when I'm watching porn!"

What a fucking asshole that doesn't know the first thing about fun. Unattractive bastard.

My bedroom had been my father's room when he was a child/teenager. At some point in time he had fashioned a hiding place under the floor behind the bedroom door. It could hold a lot of contraband. My mother knew nothing about it.

Mom had all the sensitivity of a guard in a prisoner of war camp. She would always ransack my room when I wasn't home, of course, but it was so obvious what had happened. All the books in my bookcase had been switched around. The contents of drawers were a mess.

I told my father and he put a lock on the outside of the bedroom door. He had a key and I had a key.

Mom was pissed off about the lock, but too bad, so sad. My father was not to be argued with.

Did he tell you about his secret hidey-hole?

R125’s post sounds like the premise of a Joe Gage film.

Almost. Luckily I grabbed it with both hands and threw it into the tepidarium. Being marble it sank to the bottom.

When I was thirteen Mum found my cache of Playgirl magazines. When she asked me about them I nervously told her " I only got them for the horoscope section". With a smile she replied " Well I'm sure they can predict your future my sweet son." I miss her.

Remember Boy's Life magazine? There was a piece on two kids around my age fishing off a boat off the coast of Florida ... with photos!

Do you still have it, r130? Interested in selling?

R129 they saw big cocks in your future 🔮

Adorable @ R129. Just like all those heteros who only bought Playboy for the articles about cars!

My partner's mom (a sweet woman who loves her gay son) was married to a minister for a couple of years (2007 until his death in 2009). One of his sons was gay and committed suicide in the '70s by jumping from a bridge into the Tennessee River. She said the family was very ashamed of him and avoided talking about him.

After she moved in with the preacher, she cleaned his house, which was a mess and hadn't been touched since his first wife died. When she was cleaning out the son's bedroom, she found tons of old-school drag in garbage bags: wigs, sequined gowns and matching shoes, gaudy costume jewelry, etc. I've been curious ever since about whether he was just a queen who dressed up and went out or an actual club performer.

No because I didn’t have any unless you call After Dark a porn magazine (it wasn’t, but it was refinery geared to gay men). Don’t think I got “caught” with a copy although my parents hardly ever entered my room when I was in my teens.

R129 Your mom was a gem.

R117, for me it was the US men's gymnastics team, particularly Bart Conner. That was a good summer.

It’s heartening to hear that some of you had parents that handled these situations with grace and humour.

R129 that is wonderful! And, it made me tear up. You're lucky- just from that, I can tell she was a great lady.

R129 Your mom sounds amazing-and hilarious!

Anyone’s parents find their crusty cum sock-rag?

My father found mine when I was 12 and it was completely traumatic. He wouldn’t give it back!

R142 Surely your father realized you still had other socks to jerk off into. Or did he make you go without socks until you were 18?

^Nobody wants anybody to know that they’ve been spurting spunk into an article of clothing, let alone a parent… and I didn’t really need socks because I was fixated on Don Johnson at the time.

Thanks to this thread I just finished watching Hoarders Season 8 Episode 5 and wow...what was up with the histrionic Karen sisters!? I get that it's awkward finding your brother's porn stash, but seriously? They acted like they'd found a fucking dead body in there. And he TRIED to shoo them away the day prior but they insisted on continuing on so they only had themselves to blame when they found his motherlode!

Frau 101. Pry and snoop, mock and shame, clutch pearls from the 'moral high ground.' There are of course shining exceptions as noted above. Happily though the usual response to Frau shaming is a quadrupling down on all things cock.

My folks have likely seen me indulge in gay porn from stuff that was open on my computer, but they have not seen my jar of Albolene. I'll be red in the fuckin face when they do -- that's very personal property.

My parents had hidden away a Swedish hardcore porn magazine, which I found, of course. Hardcore like with cumming and all, in the early 80ies! All I could look at where the hard dicks. Sometimes I wonder if they wanted me to find it. I don’t think they realized that a little gayling could find straight porn useful.

Yes. Pretty sure I have some deep-rooted and unresolved trauma from it.

I don't like Christ on a Cracker.

It tastes like wheat thins and sanctimony.

R149 Care to expand? Trust me, we’ll get it.

My parents never did, but then again they were called by mall security when I was caught cruising in a mens' room. I told them the security guard was very confused and left it at that.

My brother came across my stack of porn when I was staying with him - it was in my footlocker. He said "you're killing our parents!" When I came out shortly after my parents were both like, bitch, we knew already, have a seat.

R146 Or ass. My gay porn was/is all about ass. I continue to double down on that.

Yeah, at least probably. Started around 12, and one parent was tech savvy enough that he was likely all prepped to track and cut off access to things. Since I was a teenage boy, of course I did anything I could to get through the filters and shutoffs. A back and forth of shame, anger, challenging boundaries, shirking back in embarrassment happened. Groundings, talks, but over time, probably an implicit permission from my parents as long as I followed other said (don't stay up too late) or unsaid (don't use sketchy predatory chat rooms anymore) rules.

By 14 I was out and in a few-year long relationship so the computer was used less for anything porny. By 16 I had my own computer so they didn't interfere so much except maybe some lighter tracking (but doing little about it anymore) and shutting off the router when going to bed. By 18 I was out of the place so they didn't give a fuck anymore.

Because we were first on dial-up, and I had a nerdy imagination, much of what they'd have seen was links to fanfiction or erotica. Or evidence I was on those sketchy chat rooms. I was likely safest from parental tracking on ICQ/MSN or whatever those chat apps were.

I think my parents, or at the very least one of them, just wanted me safe above all else. And they were entirely right that I was being unsafe on those chat rooms, or otherwise talking to anons, and clicking in virus-filled sites (protection is much better and built into PCs today). They're not exactly gay-friendly, but they were very tolerant and wanted me to be okay. But they were not my birth parents, they were somewhat older than any birth parents likely would have been, and the generational gap between a socially liberal gay teen boy connecting to the new WWWeb, and (progressive?) conservative rural-centric baby boomer parentals that were relatively wary of technology, was just say too big for comfort and great communication. But I think we tried a little. When I got my boyfriend, maybe they just sighed in relief that there might be less tug of war over Internet access.

This was 00s. While overall acceptance of gay people has gone up even since (latest years have a more complex shift though), the 00s was very focused on attempting some form of acceptance for gay youth, so I was perhaps lucky there. There was no huge shaming over seeking gay porn (maybe underlying homophobia at worst), just protection of an early-teen, with much of it warranted, even if the talks with me were imperfect.

R152 Wow, so your brother was a total sanctimonious prick then?

R154 Yeah not to make too fine a point about it, but in some ways you were lucky. My porn fight with my mother, as I’ve posted above, all happened in the 80s during the beginning of the AIDS crisis. Talk of being gay and coming out was very fraught. I don’t mean to imply that your story wasn’t as well. Everyone has their struggle. or trauma.

R155 It's more hilarious than even that. He was a drug dealer and had my parents cough up 20K at one point because his dumb ass did a deal where the other side took the drugs and the money, and he had to pay his supplier the 20K.

My parents never cared that I was gay. They were miffed that my ass was slow to mature and I borrowed too much money from then <30. But compared to some of the shit my siblings pulled, that was minor.

R156 no, please do make that point. I was very aware of how much better it was for me, and it had me on an educational trip through gay history. My later 00s were in attempting to start a GSA, talk to people about gay history (esp the 80s). My early 10s had me more chill but subscribed to gay news sites like Towleroad. By now I'm just whatever, but I definitely don't forget how the 00s were such a good time to be a gay teen coming out to socially center-to-left parents.

And I think it helped that their other (bio) children were definitely accepting me.

And that my later boyfriend's parents accepted both of us. They were more strongly liberal to the (funny) point of letting me stay over days to weeks at a time and uh, lets say the basement got loud sometimes. While my parents would only have him over for dinner, and even later on as a mature adult, I feel get squirmy about the idea of myself and my partner sleeping over together (even though 90% of our nights are only about cuddling and sleep, not that they'd care).

They really had little choice to accept me and save face. Yes they could have been hateful, but they seemed to only reserve that for lefty party politics, not people they knew personally.

My struggle and trauma exists.. but it barely has to do with being gay. Its to do with my bio parents, self-hate and inadequacy, perfectionism sabotaging me, etc. I'm one of the happiest gay guys I know, about being gay! Even though I'm no activist nor tapped in tightly to the local gay community. But maybe that helps, idk.

R157. Wow. It sounds like he had a nerve saying YOU were hurting your parents.

I hid my Playgirl magazines so well I lost track of where I kept them.

I found them and made good use of them, R160.

R161 All that pent-up, repressed Priest spunk, spurting across the pages of Mr. September in the seminary!

I worked as a cashier in a grocery store in high school in the late 70s. We used to keep the Playboy, Penthouse and Playgirl magazines under the counter. People would have to ask to buy them. I used to help myself (aka steal) to the Playgirl and Playgirl Fantasies. By the time I left for college I had a rather large collection hidden behind a bookcase in my room.

I came home for Thanksgiving only to find that my parents had moved my sister into my room (it was bigger) and all my stuff had been unceremoniously dumped into a smaller room. Interestingly, the bookcase was gone and so was my stash. No one ever said a word about it.

BTW, my sister was only 9, so there’s no way she found it and kept it.

What customers bought the Playgirls? Did you ever meet up with any of them?

R164, I don't remember anyone buying a Playgirl (at least from me). That's why it was so easy to take them. We always had plenty at the end of the month.

I’d love to write/read a book about the shared history of gay men of a certain time period, and their shared history of stolen/hidden/cherished/abandoned Playgirl magazines. I find the phenomenon, as revealed on this thread, alternatively hilarious, sad and kind of awesome all at the same time.

Buying my first Playgirl was a rite of passage for me. Before that bold step, I might see a random Playgirl at a neighbor's house or sneak a peek at the newsstands. Now, I could take my Playgirl anywhere I wanted and could stare at the pictures until my cock exploded.

The men were gorgeous and there was a wide variety of looks. It must have been exhilarating to smile broadly into a camera and be so naked.

I could look at pubic hair and wonder how one guy had a sparse amount and another has a bird's nest. Cocks were so different from each other, balls equally so. I never understood the need for manscaping when the trend picked up in my 30s. It seemed so contrary to "the Playgirl Man" we saw in the 70s and 80s.

I had something to look forward to every month.

Okay so favourite Playgirl models. Geoffrey Kane was my first so he holds a special place in my… heart. When I started collecting them later, Bill Cable and Rock Pamplin were right up there-and so was I! In the 80 there was a model named Bud Ralph who sent me into a frenzy. He had the nicest ass I’d ever seen.

My favourite celeb layouts were Christopher Atkins, Fabian, John Matuszak and Steve Bond.

I also loved the Fabian issue.

I used to steal gay porn mags from various bookstores--sometimes while I was there with my straight friends! Talk about a fucking rush! Knowing if I got caught my entire world would come crashing down. Woooo!

R169 Yes Fabian was a little hottie. He gave great side ass and almost-cock.

R170 Where did you live where you could access gay porn in a bookstore? Here in Canada I had to go to specialty magazine stores to get my hat stroke rags. That’s why Playgirl was so awesome. It was more accessible.

^”Gay” not hat. Stupid autocorrect

Not about them finding it, but more searching. I was a young closeted gay man a million years ago. It wasn't unusual for my folks or siblings to drop by my place, and, well, there wasn't any privacy. As far as I was concerned, there didn't need to be. My family could roam freely through my home in the same way I could roam freely through theirs. (Why I would, I can't recall any idea.)

I had a good stash of gay porn at the time--VHS tapes as well as magazines acquired through my frequent visits to NYC or my subscription to Mandate magazine, for which I had a dedicated PO Box.

No way would anyone find out my secret, though. I kept my entire porn collection in a big black plastic trash bag, tied with one of those wire thingies, and kept beside the trash can in my kitchen.

No way anyone would discover my cache. If I died, the bag would have been taken out with the trash.

Years later, Mom would be rummaging through my DVD collection (which I thought I had thoroughly scrubbed.). She came across "Beautiful Thing," which I had thought would be benign. She read the description, and, well, the aftermath was too silly for words.

R174 Nosy buggers in your family clearly. Mandate was awesome. Loved Blueboy, Torso, In Touch for Men and Stars as well. Ah memories!

No, but I found my dad's in like 1982 and slipped it in the family videos he had just taken the week before. The cunt that shot him out of her hole was at our house and he wanted to show her the family video. She was absolutely mortified. And I chose the "interracial stag" in a round, small reel tin. The evil cunexttuesday was a Jehovah's Witness and hated my gay guts since I was born because I wasn't baptized within her approved time frame. She was Catholic back then and no-less a C yew enn tee

R175 agree 100 per cent!

R176 Jeebus. Your family sounds like something out of a Tennessee Williams play. Did you hate your dad as well?

I'm amazed convenience stores had any sex mags left to sell with every teenager in town swiping them.

How could I hate my dad after having such a vile twat for a mother, R178?

Hopefully, all 8 children and my grandfather are sainted, if that garbage is real.

R179 All this petty crime just so we could jack off! Bad boys.

I think the first gay porn mag I purchased was STARS. I was leaking cum when I handed the mag to the cashier.

Two newspapers, Auto Trader, People magazine, pack of gum, latest issue of HONCHO nonchalantly mixed in there...I was 16, the elderly Korean lady didn't seem fazed. I hid the porn under the rug under the bed, no one ever found it to my knowledge.

I forgot about Honcho! Good one. I loved the butthole shots.

R183 Man I had WAY too much porn mags to hide under a rug!

I forgot about Stallion and Inches as well.

R182 Was it STARS in the 80’s that had the section called Beef Patrol(?)-I think- that had shirtless or half nekkid shots of the latest teen idols and celebrities? Leif Garrett, Matt Dillon etc. I loved that section. The captions were always filthy. I jerked off to so many photos of Chris Atkins from that mag!

Oh I had quite a stash under the rug, after a year or so I loaded all of them in my backpack, took them to school and left them in the bathroom with a post-it "for your enjoyment!"

R172 I grew up in Michigan. We had a chain of local bookstores that carried all sorts of gay magazines. The nice part was: I didn't even have to approach that "zone of embarrassment" aka the gay magazine rack in order to make my score. I can thank my fellow (non-shoplifting) gays for that! So many men were too embarrassed to stand right in front of the gay section to do their 'light, in-store reading' so they'd stand elsewhere in the store, discretely ogle the gay mags and then just dump them in whatever random section of the store they'd been standing. So all I had to do was walk around the store with my eyes peeled for anything that was out of place and EUREKA! It was too easy. I'd find a gay mag chilling in the "cooking" section, roll it up, slip it up my coat sleeve and out I'd walk--FULL of adrenaline both because I knew if they caught me at the door my entire life would be over and then also the excitement of knowing that as soon as I got out to my car I was gonna be swimming in pictures of PENISES!!!

I would jerk off right there in my car sitting out in their parking lot. No way in hell I could've made it all the way home.

Good times! And I never did get caught.

R187, that sounds vaguely familiar, but I'm not sure if that feature was in Stars or another fuck mag.

My dad and I shared gay porn. He had his stash in the closet and I read them all. Nothing ever said.

R191 Did he ever come out?

My parents asked to borrow my gay porn, OP.

My mom found my sister’s copy of Viva featuring a nude Andrew Prine. This was in the early/mid 70s, and he was the first naked man I had ever laid eyes on…not counting myself. Although he wasn’t particularly good looking, I had a crush on him after that.

I discovered porn stores when I was 17 and would buy gay magazines —they would be bundled 3 for $10.

I’d jerk off to them for hours in my bedroom. My parents never found them because my closet had a hidden cutout, created by the previous owners, to store valuables that I had come upon by accident. I hid my magazine in there.

When I went away to college, the mags stayed home. On one trip back home, I figured I should ditch them so threw them away in our neighbor’s large trash bins.

Are magazines even available anymore? Loved the stories, the pictures, and the “personal experience” letters

[quote]I was caught again in 1999. This time my mom freaked the fuck out. She kept saying “oh my god, oh my god”, and collapsed on the floor.

Sorry but this sounds hilariouos. I see your mom as Estelle Costanza.

R196, yes, that’s the most Mary! I’ve ever heard about

When I was in high school, I had a big stash of Playgirls as well as The Joy of Gay Sex, which I had all stolen from Walden Books. The day I left for college, I put them all in my suitcase and disposed of them in a locker upon arrival at Laguardia Airport.

Fuck yea--I stole gay books from Walden's too! I remember one night very vividly when I was there with two (straight) friends of mine which was really complicating things as I was laser-focused on ganking this gay nude photography book which I did successfully end up going home with that night. Another time I stole some obscure gay porn mag I'd discovered misplaced in the store and was disappointed in the quality of the guys inside once I finally got a chance to look through it. Beggars can't be choosers, I guess.

Did anyone actually BUY gay porn back then? Seems most of it was stolen!

Yes while I was copying it from Betamax to VHS

I remember the 3 for $10, r195! Usually the magazine they put in the middle was crap.

My favorite mag was Stroke, which featured hardcore stills from the latest videos.

Manshots was my magazine of choice.

And Adam Film World’s annual directory was my go-to bible!

[QUOTE] I’m intrigued by the posters that have discovered gay porn in their father’s collections. What does that do to the teen psyche? Relief? Shock? Both? I can’t really imagine.

When I was 12, I found my dad's gay porn box in his closet top shelf. He had some porn novels and a 12" sawed off broom handle inside. I read everything and I knew what he did with that broomstick. Looking back, I am sure he must have known about me as I can be queeny at times, but we never discussed it. I am not sure either one of us could have handled that conversation, as this was back in the 60's and being gay was still illegal in the south. I think we became closer by NOT sharing that knowledge, but it sure kept me in the closet for years thinking I would turn out like him. And, looking back, I probably have.

Was your dad the sloppiest bottom in your town?

Particularly nice cock on the boy being blown on the cover of R202’s magazine.

Hey, R194, everybody loved that Andrew Prine spread. In the era of flaccid cock porn (how did we ever make do with that?) the Viva spread was widely admired for the rather startlingly big cock on the dude. Okay body too, but you’re right, not all that handsome. On days trolling the porn shops in and around Times Square, I’d occasionally drop in at Hotalings back issue magazine shop to ogle some printed Prine cock. They kept their stock in good order so it was easy to find the Prine shrine.

R204 I loved that issue as well! Those were the best photos-including the cover-ever taken of Joey Stefano. Didn’t that issue come with a poster of him? Or did you have to send away for it?

Sorry with Prine I couldn’t get past the face.

Find it? They filmed it!

[quote] Did Your parents ever find your gay porn?[/quote]

In those days it was the Sears & Roebuck catalog, men's underwear section

So, it was in plain sight!!

I want to hear stories of gaylings getting caught shoplifting gay porn magazines (or Playgirl).

Stroke was really the best, it was much more expensive than the other ones but it sure delivered the goods

I stole copies of that smaller magazine with short stories. About the size of Reader's Digest with girls talking how they need a big man for satisfaction. What was that magazine?

I bought a book of Roy Dean's photography in the 70s. It was advertised in GQ or Esquire toward the back of the magazine. It cost about $20 at the time. I sent a twenty dollar bill I received for Christmas; I had to provide my signature to prove I was over 18. (I wasn't.) Still, it arrived in an thick unmarked envelope.

My Mom asked what had arrived and I told her it was for a school project in health class in school.

When we took showers after P.E. class, I always quickly glanced at the other guys' cocks, not giving myself time to get a good look at their bushes. I now had a book of gorgeous men with huge bushes, and I just stared at them in my own time. They were more fascinating than the cocks.

I don't remember how I lost the book. Maybe I panicked and threw it away sometime later, it was about 50 years ago.

Attached is the advertisement's photograph.

R213 Playgirl was gay porn.. No need to qualify.

I got caught stealing one from a 7-11. It was one of the few ones where the stroke mags weren’t behind the counter, so you didn’t have to ask for it. I stuffed it in my coat and tried to make a break for it. Thank GAWD the clerk took pity on me and just made me put it back and didn’t call the cops. Never been that embarrassed in my life! It could have been much worse. There was nobody else in the store at the time. That’s all I’ve got.

My mother proofread my Nifty contributions.

I think you mean “proofreads”.

Should have asked her to check it before you posted.

Oh yeah, I remember Strokes. Some of the first hardcore gay porn I ever saw. I remember one feature that had a Hispanic dude with a moustache fucking an adorable blonde twink..I wanted to fuck that twink ass so much. It was expensive though. Had to save lunch money for that one. But it was totally worth it.

My sister caught me “reading” a copy of “The Happy Hustler” by Grant Tracy Saxon aka Michael Kearns. (Any of you Eldergays remember THAT one)? I loved the pics of his ass that were inside.

Burst right into my bedroom! Good thing I wasn’t in full J/O mode yet.

R220 Name of blonde twink or it didn’t happen!

My dad had a copy of the book "The Happy Hooker" in the very back of his desk drawer. I sure enjoyed reading that as a tween.

I was 13-14 and found a gay paperback named "Sookie". Can't remember how my mom found it but she confronted me and asked "are you like this?" In hindsight, even though I was only attracted to other boys, I still hadn't come to terms with my homosexuality, so I denied it.

I did a search on "sookie" to see if I could find it, but all I get is links to the "Stackhouse Series" of books by Charlaine Harris, which has nothing to do with the book I found.

R223 Well if you’re gay I can only assume you’d have enjoyed The Happy Hustler” a lot more!

The competition between the printed word and magazine pictorials for stroke material when I was a teen.! Gordon Merrick or Playgirl. Playgirl or Merrick? The Lord Won’t Mind or Mr. August? The struggle was real. And both precious contraband.

One of my favorite Roy Dean nudes.

He photographed beautiful nude Polynesian men in one of his books. I wish I could remember the title.