The Gays and Tennis Part 113: Clay Specialist Edition

I have noticed that about Carlos's teeth as well. very yellow for a very young man! and he's got grey hairs too.

Like Hana Mandlíkova at 1981 French Open final.

Rankings update:

ATP:

Cerunodolo vaults up to #51

Kecmanovic up to #38

Alcaraz up to #11

Federer's 2019 Miami points are finally off, causing him to drop from #26 to #44

Djokovic regains the #1 ranking, ahead of Medvedev by 10 points

WTA::

new top 3 #1 Swiatek, #2 injured Krejcikova, #3 Badosa

Osaka leaps from #77 to #35

Why is no one talking about ME???? Don't make me grab a gun and start shooting you all. Remember that I will do anything to win and get attention.

B. Andreescu paid a visit to the Rafa Nadal Academy in a Grey Gardens inspired outfit

Anyone saw the cute video of Casper Ruud smiling and flaming like a queen? It's on reddit.

OMG Bibi looks big as a house @ R5

Lay off the churros, bitch!

Bibi does have the most awful taste. And wtf is wrong with her? Why doesn't she play?

Oh, so THAT'S why Andreescu has been off the tour....

Anyway, let's celebrate our new #1 in doubles, Joe Salisbury. Thoroughly deserved, he is always making the highlight reals with great shotmaking. And he's kinda cute.

Reels**

Salisbury is handsome and fit - for a Brit. ;)

Joe is STACKED.

I'd hit that.

R11, their standards are incredibly low. The likes of Misery are probably considered handsome hunks by the Brits.

Misery is so fug to me.

^ you're looking at the wrong parts of him

[quote] Anyone saw the cute video of Casper Ruud smiling and flaming like a queen? It's on reddit.

Link, R6.

[quote]Link, [R6]

Perhaps this is the video R6 is talking about

^He's too adorable!

He's cute AF.

a. OP, I love you for creating new threads when everyone can post. b. let's be honest, Osaka should be #2 or #3.

Joe Salisbury has a humongous cock, we've been over this.

carlos will be handsome as he gets older once 1) he combs his hair back and parted to a side 2) gets his teeth whitened and hopefully gets dermatology treatment..

Who is green clay specialist?

Carlos is genuinely a nice guy'unlike his idol Nadal who seems mean and nasty..

Miomir did the right thing by skipping Montecarlo

I hope he and Carlos plan their schedules intelligently and not become greedy vultures like "SMALL FOUR".(Med,Sasha,Stef and Rublev)

I didn't know this Salisbury guy before this tournament. What a tasty dish. I'm curious what it must be like to hear DL Fave Cames call one of his matches.

[quote] I'm curious what it must be like to hear DL Fave Cames call one of his matches.

Fap, fap, fap.

Unsurprisingly Ruud has withdrawn from Houston but surprisingly it was due to tooth pain and not the lower back/hip area he got treated in the Miami final.

In what universe should Osaka be #2 or #3? This is her first final since the AO 2021 where she had to beat injured Jenny Brady to win the title (who hasn't been seen since). She cannot play on grass or clay, and even then the so-called hard court specialist has been bageled by Swiatek, Sakkari, and Kudermetova on the surface within the last year (all in straight sets losses). She hasn't beaten a top ten player in over two years now (Bertens, who has since retired) and can't hit a basic volley. Second best player in the world? Tbh she's lucky her huge serve and easy draws (including a walkover in her Miami) get her the results she has.

Glad Casper is resting. With his form and ability on clay he should really be aiming for SF or better at RG, and possible another big result in a Masters tournament.

R28, you are a HATER! Naomi is a strong, courageous, ICONIC women of color and she is being punished in the rankings for speaking out about the vile RACISM in the sport! The WTA just want some blonde bitches like SharaDopa to be number one, not a strong black queen like Naomi or Serena. Check your privilege. Serena, Queen Vee and Naomi are still the three best players in the world with Princess CoCo waiting in the wings.

r29 you forgot to mention that our Queen Naomi is also a global ambassador for mental health!

I want to kiss Casper's dimples.

Well, I want to start there...

Congrats to Ash Barty who won $30 at the weekend for winning the ladies golf championship at the Brookwater Golf and Country Club.

Hunky Michael Mmoh is the lucky loser after gorgeous Ruud withdraws. Because of that, Mmoh automatically gets placed into the top seed position and automatically gets a bye into round of 16. Good for Mmoh, and I THINK he's guaranteed first-round prize money, rather than R16 prize money.

Curious as to why players don't slice, dice, drop shot Osaka constantly? she has no mid court game, can't volley... back in the day Billie jean King would have a field day with her....

R34 Yep. It's why Hsieh Su-wei has been such a tough opponent for her because she pulls her out of her comfort zone (big serving and baseline hitting).

Golf, R32. She is clearly a lesbian! Evil! Filth!

[quote]She hasn't beaten a top ten player in over two years now (Bertens, who has since retired)

KLM Kiki didn't waste any time after retiring (at the Tokyo Olympics) and just had a baby

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

r37 Berten's baby daddy is one fine specimen!

r38 Politics should have no place in tennis. Banning players because of their nationality is beyond disgraceful and tyrannical.

R39 except the reality is that it has a big role. Governments fund athletes and use them for nationalistic pride purposes. Look at that rally Putin recently gave to rally support for the invasion of Ukraine. He got a bunch of Olympians to attend and some of them turned up with their medals and official uniforms. State sponsored doping has long been a thing in Russia (read Grigory Rodchenkov's book). Olympic medal winners earn a lifetime pension, cars and other perks. The relationship between sport and politics is very close in Russia.

Medvedev isnt gonna win Wimbledon even if he plays.

Straight up ban the Russian and Belarusian athletes from playing. Oh, your just an athlete that happens to be Russian? Too bad so sad that you got caught in the crosshairs for something you have no control over. Cry me a freakin' river. Your country is killing Ukrainians for pleasure. Its up to the Russian population to overthrow their government, no matter how long it takes, and no matter how much Russian blood flows through the streets in the effort. Monumental task, but again, too bad, so sad. Time for Russian athletes to put away their sports equipment. Sorry, not sorry.

Wolf 🐺 team or Brooksby team?

r42 So why weren't US and UK athletes banned for the illegal invasion of Iraq which resulted in untold deaths of innocent civilians? Such breathtaking levels of hypocrisy.

^ two wrongs don't make a right. Is the Iraqi war meant to be run up the flagpole as the justification for random atrocities from here to eternity? Enough whataboutism, its time to stop Ukrainian bloodshed now.

Great to see Wolf take down Brooksby. Such a swashbuckling player.

Also, would look great in even shorter shorts.

Wolf has hillbilly written all over him

It's beyond ridiculous to ban Russian or Belarusian athletes from sport. Medvedev, for example, has lived in France since he was a teenager. He's hardly propping up the Putin regime. Azarenka has lived in the US for years. If Sharapova were still playing would you support banning her too, since she barely speaks Russian and has (famously) lived in the US since she was six years old?

Azarenka has already denounced Belarusian involvement in the war which would have put her family back in Belarus in potential danger. What more can she do?

It's ludicrous. They can't help where they were born. They've already taken away their flags from next to their names which is, again, ridiculous, since tennis on the tour is an individual sport - they're not representing their country on the tour. The tour isn't the Olympics.

By the way yesterday a french junior pull a Will Smith in a tournament, he went to the net and calmly slapped his rival when he aproach to give him a high five.

The aggressor is 15

R49 video please?

here's a short video, I don't know what happened afterwards

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

R51 do you know their names?

the kid needs to be suspended obviously

The french player is Michael Kouame and the other one is Raphael Nii Ankrah.

They said in articles that Kouame is a young promising player but i have serious doubts, he is playing a J5 (the lowest cathegory in juniors) and this same week there are a J2 in france, i think if he was so promising he will get a wc (and of course he has a pretty low ranking, the number one on the french tournament is spanish Martin Landaluce, they are the same age and the spaniard is near top 50 junior while the french is not top 500)

They should ban him. The kid he slapped is quite a bit smaller too. This is the kind of precedent Smith and Zverev are setting for kids.

[quote] The aggressor is 15

I like his spunk.

Gojowczyk team or Paul team?

Kyrgios team or McDonald team?

Garin team or Sock team?

Tiafoe team or Giron team?

Mengele walkover against Navarro in Charleston. It appears all of tonight’s matches were suspended.

sexy Garin finally snaps his losing streak with an improbable comeback win over Sock after being down double break 1-4 in the 3rd set. It was a battle of Houston champs as Sock won it in 2015 and Garin in 2019. For both it was their first title. Garin is actually still the defending champion since the last 2 years the event was not held

For those of you who like Shapo's leg hair, this is all for you.

Shapo leg hair II.

Who besides Navratilova was considered carpet specialist during 1980s? Who was journeywoman on carpet court?

R63, she wasn't the only one. They were all rug munchers and loved the "carpet" even when it didn't match the drapes. Turnbull, Shriver, the other Godless Communist heathens like Mandlikova. Basically everyone except for the beautiful, luscious, charming, sexy, I mean, God fearing and staunchly heterosexual Mrs Christine Evert Lloyd Mill Norman.

Best bubble butts battle: Tiafoe def. Giron 6-4 6-4

Jokes aside why did they abolish carpet court?

I use to love watching tennis on carpet courts

R66

Injuries: The American Journal of Sports Medicine found that there were 22% more knee sprains on FieldTurf than on natural grass, while there were 67% more ACL sprains as well because it was harder on the body than grass.

Court speed: 2nd fastest to grass which means the dominance of big servers because tennis rackets are more technologically advanced today. 'Less fan friendly' since fans usually want to see some rallying.

Ruud is so pretty. Here's the full youtube interview.

The upcoming French Open will be Jo-Wilfried Tsonga's last tournament

I'll miss Tsonga. Big hunky bear of a man and an exciting game. Shame he didn't quite have the stuff between the ears to pull off a Slam win. His level of tennis was he was on top form definitely merited one.

Speaking of big hunks: good to see muscular Michael Mmoh storm past dullard Sam Querrey in Houston

it's a Houston miracle!

Mmoh played well and he was more aggressive than usual. I hope he starts playing that way more often.

Querrey for his part was fucking awful lol but I don't care, I'll take it. He must have been tired from his long match the day before. He also didn't handle the wind well at all

Mmoh was once the #2 junior and is peers with Fritz, Tiafoe, Paul and Opelka. A lot was expected from him but injuries, inconsistency and choking have caused him to stay bouncing between the 100s and 200s.

Opelka team or Krueger team?

Brouwer team or Wolf 🐺 team?

the lesser Coco (Vandeweghe) having an unexpected resurgence this week in Charleston as a lucky loser

Mmoh has a violent temper

Mmoh

lmao JJ Wolf playing some of his worst tennis ever. This is club level with the misses

he just lost 1-6 1-6 to #356 Gijs Brouwer who is a 26 year old journeyman. This was the first time on the pro tour that he was the higher ranked player in a match so it seems the pressure got to him.

[quote]Mmoh

Mooh!

R77.. anyone losing to a player ranked #356 6-1 6-1 is beyond embarrassing unless your ranked 357 to 1000, or a college player..

he should have called for the trainer for a pulled butt muscle, have the closeted cameraman zoom on his ass as it's getting "worked on" and then he should have defaulted soon afterwards to save face losing that badly to a nobody!....

Patrick Monologue is now full time coach of Romanian billionaires Simona Help

I've been wondering WHAT EXACTLY was Patrick's experience and qualifications to build a academy and "coaching" so many pros?..

Always has come across to me as a grifter con artist who doesn't know shit?!....

R81 he may have the good ahem stuff if you get my drift.

Thiem has withdrawn from Monte Carlo

Berrettini has withdrawn from Monte Carlo, Madrid and Rome

R81 Serena had amazing results after she started working with him but I think that's more to with her than him. She wasnt a beginner that he guided into form. He probably did give her a different perspective she needed at the time.

She [Serena] just said on Instagram she's coming back for Wimbledon. I wonder if Patrick announcing this spurred her on to do so. I think she's too settled into her new life to properly compete for grand slams again, but some of her matches in Australia last year really impressed me and I wouldn't mind her having a mini farewell tour - there's still nobody who quite strikes the ball like she can on the WTA tour.

Halep seems to shuffle coaches quite regularly. I wonder how long she'll last with that egomaniac?

And damn, Ajla must have really broken Matteo's arm after he cheated on her.

Pam is on the prowl in Charleston, wearing her finest pearls

Pam is a true Bond girl. Pussy galore!

Sexy and romantic Slovak, Alex Molcan, knocks out Felix in Marrakech.

So sweet of him to bring me flowers!

Two full sleeves of tats look skeevy as can be on Molcan.

Good to see Cristian Garin start to get his mojo back, looking like a movie star, to boot!

Pam looks like Lindsey Davenport's ugly grandmother. How is it that Pam keeps getting uglier with every passing year?

LOTS of drama today in Charleston!

Anisimova upsets Sabalenka 3-6 6-4 6-3 Aryna hit 10 dfs

Vandeweghe upsets Pegula 6-4 3-6 6-4

Bencic def. Keys 6-4 6-4

Linette upsets Fernandez 3-6 6-3 6-4 The last game was very long with multiple break and match points

Popsicle news:

[quote] vasek.pospisil After having elbow pain serving the last month and upon reviewing the MRI results, I will unfortunately need to undergo a rehab process. Hoping to be back on tour in 6-7 weeks. Super disappointing to have to slow things down after a good start to the year. I will rest well, rehab, and be back as soon as possible. Thanks for the love 🙏🏼❤️

The Incredible Hulk Girl lost?

Sad to see Mmoh out with an adductor strain in Houston, meaning bonkers bogan Kyrgios gets a walkover.

The Monte Carlo draw is out, among the first-round matches: La Monf v. Hubie, Coric v. Sinner, Tsonga v. Cilic, Wawrinka v. Bublik.

Boris Becker is guilty! The sentence is due to be announced on April 29.

Great news. It stinks that some people rack up so many debts, then wipe them off through bankruptcy while still keeping a lot of wealth. The people who weren't paid are the ones who suffer, especially small companies or contractors, and not really people like Becker. I'm bracing myself for a ridiculous sentence though.

lmao what an idiot. Becker has had the most embarrassing post-tennis life of any slam champ for sure

sad for Mmoh. He probably would have gotten destroyed but I wanted to see him against Kyrgios

Garin team or Daddy Fritz team?

Tiafoe team or Isner team?

My heart tells me Girthy Garin, but my head tells me Dirty Daddy

Tiafoe Team 'til I'm blue in the face since it's against Isner.

Daddy Fritz Team

'Fo team

Garin is getting close to beating Daddy Fritz in the third. Possibly a third-set bagel.

Oh, no!

Well Clay is Garin's best surface by far, and he has been slumping. So maybe he's catching some form.

[quote] So maybe he's catching some form.

Speaking of form - those thighs.

Imagine Garin and Daddy Fritz showering together 🤤

Casper got his wisdom tooth out. He only removed one, should have all taken out, to get it over with. He posted the tooth on social media.

[quote]He posted the tooth on social media.

How about his cock or his hole?

r99 As a DL contrarian, I tried to think of someone with a more embarrassing post-tennis life than Becker and I couldn't. You win. LOL

J Cap is pretty close.

[quote] J Cap is pretty close.

That was the first one I thought of.

What about me??

And of course outside of the Open era, there's the sad case of Bill Tilden.

Isner ahead 4-1 in third set. Daddy Fritz lost.

Is Capriati still a crazy bitch?

Becker is just trash.

WTF is Serena doing hanging out with the POS Aaron Rodgers? Is she shopping for PEDs before trying a comeback at age 40?

I hope Ree will have lost some weight if she shows up yet again in a tutu or else it will be déjà vu stuff.

At least he is a heterosexual, R99, like Our Good Lord intended us to be. As I was telling Wendy and Pam when we were in bed last night, um, well, reading our Bibles, braiding each other's hair and savouring the delicious tuna meal we each had, the good heterosexual players like Boris and Jennifer were led astray by the evil influence of the Godless lesbians and gays on the tour.

I told Boris many times not to play any matches against that vulgar Floridian ginger James but did he listen to me? Not to mention all those tawdry liaisons with Negresses and siring illegitimate children constantly. Evil!

As for Jennifer did she heed my warnings not to play doubles with Billy Gene King or singles against the poor role model Martina? No she didn't. God is punishing them for not obeying His word.

I have to head over now to Pam's hotel where I am meeting her for a snack. I cannot tell you how insatiable I am when it comes to snacking on Pam. I mean, with Pam. Why, just two nights ago, I told her "Pam, you do have the most delicious ham!" I don't understand why Wendy got so very upset.

Seyboth Wild's downfall is complete. He wasn't able to adapt his junior game to the ATP standard. After Santiago 2020 he didn't do anything relevant and now he is stuck in qualifying rounds and can't even win a Challenger or beat someone above 250 in ranking. Auch.

The fact that his personal life is a mess surely doesn't help

R122 I'm oblivious about that. I knew he had a girlfriend but not much else. They broke up?

[quote]WTF is Serena doing hanging out with the POS Aaron Rodgers?

Apparently it was a panel at a conference in Miami, where Serena, Odell Beckham Jr. and Aaron Rodgers explained why they invest and choose to be paid in Bitcoin.

r99 Delusional. And the media can't protect the stars very much anymore.

OMG.

Taking investment advice from Serena Williams is like taking tennis lessons from Warren Buffett.

And bitcoin? Ew.

R127, that's how you know Bitcoin is a scam: celebrities are endorsing it.

I know it's a few matches away, but I can't wait to see the Alcaraz/Novak third round match.

Great test for both.

Since my Rafa is out, this match will have to be sufficient.

It'd be hilarious to see Djokovic fall to RBA or Goffin without even getting as far as meeting Alcaraz. I think we'll see the Novaxx wheels fall off this clay season and beyond.

Her husband is very invested in Bitcoin, that's why she's into it. The more people she can get to jump on the wagon, the better for her and her husband.

[quote] I'm oblivious about that. I knew he had a girlfriend but not much else. They broke up?

R123 = A. Zverev

[quote] In September 2021, it was announced that Brazilian authorities were investigating allegations of domestic violence perpetrated by Seyboth Wild against his ex-girlfriend.

Where can I buy this bitcoin?

oh great another abuser? well he can stay in the challengers then. We don't need any more in the top 100

Belinda Bencic looks a bit like Monica Seles.

Bencic to face the winner of Jabeur/Anisimova.

Ons team or ova, Anisim team?

She reminds me of Bianca Andreescu in the face. Both have those chubby cheeks. Actually she looks a lot like her father who used to come down to the court and coach her pre-COVID (no offence).

They showed some legends in the member's box, I am guessing they are there to celebrate the 50th anniversary. Tracy Austin, Mary Pierce, I think I even saw Arantxa Sanchez.

Kyrgios team or Opelka team?

Isner team or Garin team?

Kyrgios loses his serve in the 2nd set and the obscenities and the meltdown starts. Absolutely pathetic. Every damn time.

Kveta Peschke (formerly Kveta Hrdlickova) retires from the sport at 46 years old. She was at one time #1 in doubles but also had a singles career back in the 90s. Won a WTA title as recently as last year, with Andrea Petkovic.

Thanks for that info, R140. I'd forgotten about her.

Arantxa was not happy with the way they portrayed her in King Richard (specially because almost in that scene is a blatant lie)

R142, I haven't watched (and won't watch) King Richard. How did they portray Arantxa?

full on meltdown now

Kyrgios serving at 30-40 gets into it with the umpire and eventually the umpire takes away a point giving Opelka the break

Opelka wins.

Arantxa is the villain of the final act, someone who had to cheat to defeat a 14 y o Venus (the fact that Arantxa has a positive h2h against Serena even when she was declining seems to be not important), the problem is they get everything wrong, Venus didn't won 60 the first set, Arantxa didn't took the toilet break when they said, she was not the number one in the worls (Steffi was) and of course the fact that Arantxa won 11 games in a road had nothing to do with cheating but with the fact that she was a better player back then (in fact she will defeat Venus easily the next time they met even when Venus was a top player in their second match).

She thought on sue the film but her lawyers told her it was useless and probably they will love the controversy

The worst part of it from my perspective was that the on-screen scoreboard shown during the match labeled Arantxa as either Sanchez or Vicario (I can’t remember which) and the announcers were doing the same.

She was always called “Sanchez-Vicario,” so that was a real fuck-up by the filmmakers.

I'm not sure the finer details like the EXACT ranking (she was #1 that same year) and score are relevant - it's not a documentary. But she was incredibly shady in her day, and definitely took the toilet break suddenly to disrupt a young Venus and avoid being upset. I think even Navratilova mentioned it years ago, and joked she wished Venus had won, because ASV beat her in the final of that tournament (imagine a Venus/Martina final).

Her dodgy break was reported in a lot of major press at the time including Sports Illustrated and the NYT. ASV was known for her gamesmanship (she was constantly circling the wrong ball marks on clay and waving that annoying little finger to indicate a ball was out). I also remember her "It could have happened to me!" interviews about Monica Seles' stabbing. I'm glad she was portrayed like the mess she is.

Jelena Jankovic (feat. fresh botox) and Justine Henin are also there in Charleston. Some of these legends are dressed hilariously.

in regards to sanchez vicario... never liked her OVER THE TOP celebration when she defeated a clearly compromised evert in the 3rd round of the 88 french open.. evert playing with a painful heel spur, and probably should have defaulted or never even played the french, but since this was the last time she would play the french, probably felt a obligation to play one more time at her greatest grand slam event, winning 7 times and could have won at least 10 times if she hadn't skipped those 3 years to play world team tennis... anyway, sanchez vicario jumping up and down and then stating afterwards at the press conference she had NO IDEA that evert was injured is B.S.!...

I know some will say give sanchez vicario a break since she was young at the time and to defeat the legendary evert and on clay was a huge event for her? SORRY, but i don't care if a person is 10, 15, or 20 years old to celebrate grandiosely over a all time great whose injured , that they (sanchez vicario) HAD TO KNOW was still better than them, (evert had just won their only previous meeting in straight sets not long before this match and on clay) is simply immature and self absorbed on sanchez vicario's part.

Pam Shriver on the Tennis Channel just left off the "G" in LGBT calling it the LBTQ community hesitating when saying it.

R148 Arantxa had her things but she never called a rival bitch like Serena did to her in their Roland Garros match

R150 She was 16 and defeated the great Chris Evert she has all the reasons to celebrate

Let's not forget this:

[quote] She has faced multiple court proceedings relating to charges of tax evasion and fraud. In 2009, Sánchez Vicario was found guilty of tax evasion and ordered to repay €3.5 million. In 2015, Banque de Luxembourg successfully filed complaint against her for credit and property fraud amounting to $5.2 million, however they were unable to recoup it. In 2018, Sánchez Vicario was once again charged with fraud, for deliberately misleading the courts on her financial set-up during the previous case. As of 2021, Barcelona prosecutors are seeking a four-year jail term for Sánchez Vicario, due to further allegations of fraud relating to the transfer of assets to avoid paying her debts from a previous lawsuit.

R152 Okay? I'm not sure what that has to do with anything. We been knew Serena's behaviour on court is terrible... that doesn't excuse ASV from being a bitch for most of her career. I was so happy when she retired so I wouldn't have to watch her endlessly push from metres behind the baseline and win slams hitting zero winners any longer. She was such an opportunistic player (good for her I guess) but her sportsmanship was mostly terrible and her game was ugly.

R153... WRONG! any player with class, integrity, character, honor and empathy i don't care what would NOT celebrate wildly over a injured opponent and a all time great! if anything she should have been embarrassed by her reaction afterwards!... HOW does anyone celebrate a win over someone injured? that's fucked up!...

My problem with King Richard was how much of a complete arsehole Richard came across as. Very strange considering how much involvement the Williams sisters had in the production.

I'll never forgive Pierce for slaughtering everyone on the way to the 1994 RG final (including a 6-2 6-2 destruction of Graf, see below) only to nervously choke to ASV in the trophy match. She also got another RG in 1998 that Seles should really have won. She led the H2H with Sanchez something like 11-2, had just lost her father, dropped a tonne of weight and finally beaten her boogieman Hingis in the SF. It was a really emotional slam for her after everything she had been through and it was such a boner killer for Arantxa to win.

Speaking of Pierce, who looks great in her yellow dress today, I remember she had one of her 'Peak Pierce' weeks here in Charleston 2000. She eviscerated all her opponents (def. Monica Seles 6-1 6-1, def. Jelena Dokic 6-3, 6-1, def. Leon Garcia 6-1 6-1, def. Anna Smashnova 6-1 6-2), culminating in a 6-0 6-1 demolition of ASV in the final. When she was on like that you could barely win a game against her.

And I think another sister, their older half sister was a consultant on it too.

Hardenne.

R132 I missed that part since news like that is usually put in private life or controversy and not in the career section. Thanks for pointing out. We'll see how the trial will go. He's innocent until proven guilty.

I was on Ons team.

At least Opelka has some self-awareness

Opelka team

Ons team

João Sousa with his handsome coach Fred Marques in Monte Carlo

Gay twink Rune won a challenger championship in Spain after three set battle and then went to Montecarlo and won the first round of the qualifier rounds.

Williams are perpetual victims and I will be glad when they will eventually retire.

They are still angels compare to Naomi Osaka

I'm so looking forward to Osaka's clay and grass seasons. Teehee.

Garin clearly still in a massive slump. He went 3 sets all week. Here's another stat-the first 2 times he played Isner, he won in straight sets both times on hardcourts. Now the last 2 matches including today on clay, he won the first set then flopped in the 2nd and 3rd. He was making some really bad errors off the ground and lost his composure after getting a questionable foot fault call to get broken early in the 2nd

as for Isner, he has this annoying pattern the last few years. He starts off the season losing a lot of matches, then he eventually has a tournament at which he almost loses early on, survives, and then claws his way into the latter rounds. This week he faced match points against Johnson who then choked. Then he wins long 3 setters against both Tiafoe and Garin who were too inconsistent.

to be fair, his monster serve is just so hard to consistently return. Of the young guys in the top 50, only Zverev, Tsitsipas and Opelka seem to be able to handle him on a consistent basis. Even top 5 Rublev so far struggles against him.

hopefully Opelka cleans his clock again.

In Marrakech Goffin has found some form and reached the final. He'll be vying for a 6th title. His opponent Molcan is seeking his first title.

In Bogota, defending champ Osorio Serrano is upset by #212 journeywoman Pigossi who will face #237 journeywoman (but former top 50) Maria in the final

Monte Carlo round 1 begins Sunday. Looking forward to Davidovich Fokina vs. Giron and Fucsovics vs. Harris

Wasn't the Pierce father just as crazy as the Capriati father?

Oui, R170.

Crazy?

I amazed at the career longevity of Isner. Hope Big John pulls it off tomorrow against the Geico Caveman.

Prediction 7-6, 6-7, 7-6 Isner!

Do we like Belgian elf Zizou Bergs, who to me looks and plays like elf David Goffin, and is therefore Goffin 2.0, or is still too early to jump on that bandwagon?

Yes, R173, it's been one incessantly long dial tone of pure monotony.

Half of King Richard is fiction just like most Hollywood biopics are. The film intended to tell the story of strong, young black queens who triumphed over everything and that narrative required an evil white woman.

If Granny Vee had played Steffi Graff instead of Arantxa Sanchez the film would have shown Steffi wearing a Nazi uniform for her match or saying something racist to Vee during the match. I am surprised they didn't somehow incorporate the Serena USA Open umpire controversy into this storyline and show that Vee was actually winning until the umpire cheated and awarded Vicario two free games.

It's like how people like to pretend that the famous bumping incident was entirely the other player's fault and poor Vee was just an innocent child who was pushed.

Venus Williams did nothing but play a brand of tennis that Irina Sperlea had never seen and got pissed off. Monica Seles and Capriati had already started to play that way before they dropped off or a bit. DL fave Pam Shriver always mentions Seles and Capriati because both seemed to try to hit the harder when they were tense. And they did, the more tense the situation the harder they'd strike the ball.

R177, Monica was in a league of her own. Capriati was good but just hitting hard did not put her in the same league as Monica who played the most controlled aggressive tennis I have ever seen a woman play.

What are you even talking about, R176? Spirlea was a gargantuan cunt of epic proportions. Venus would have been entirely justified to trip her onto the ground after that bump and then stomp on her face as Venus walked to the other side of the court. I can't stand Serena or Richard Williams, but Spirlea deserved to get clocked.

Venus and Serena were cunts of epic proportions when they started to play. Of course HIngis was cunt supreme at that time.

Venus changed with time and became a classy player, Serena (and i like her) was always a bully

Opelka always defeat Isner in their matches, and i think right now he is the way better player (even if Isner always was way better than expected on clay)

Zizou is handsome, R174. Great face, I love the dimple and lovely blond hair. More handsome than Goffin.

Can he play?

[quote] Venus and Serena were cunts of epic proportions when they started to play. Of course HIngis was cunt supreme at that time.

Serena still is. She has always been an entitled cunt with a massive chip on her giant linebacker shoulder and behaved like a bullying ghetto thug. Hingis and AnnaK behaved like the typical mean girls who are cunty and nasty all the time but the sisters also added intimidation to their nasty behavior when they first started out. Venus grew up and dropped the act but Serena never did. She still behaves like a violent hoodrat.

Venus was never really bad, she just had some teen confidence when she came out and that came across as arrogance. Serena had that 'little sister diva' syndrome and always did. Even before her incidents of bad behaviour.

Spirlea was the worst of the lot. I remember her swearing, tanking, shoving, mocking, and in some cases just walking off matches when something didn't go her way. I actually laughed so hard when Richard called her a 'Tall White Turkey'. It's a very DL insult.

Zizou > Elf looks wise. We’ll see about his game…

[quote] Do we like Belgian elf Zizou Bergs

I think he’s gorgeous. I love elven creatures.

Dusan Lajovic is such a looker. This hair length is hot on him and he has a great butt.

^ he does have a great butt

what is it with the Serbs, Laslo Djere is a hawt piece of ass, too

I not only missed that train but got hit by it.

Bencic team or Ons team?

Opelka team or Isner team?

I think Ons, although I like Bencic too..

Bencic is a brat

Ons team

Ons team

[quote]Jelena Jankovic (feat. fresh botox) is also there in Charleston

Here she is (on the right) with Bethanie Mattek-Sands, Mary Pierce, Arantxa Sanchez Vicario, Tracy Austin, cougar Pam Shriver and Rosie Casals in the middle

I cannot stand Bethanie Mattek-Sands

uh why is Mattek-Sands hanging with very accomplished players?

Why is Mary Pierce dressed for the prom?

Marrakech: Goffin def. Molcan 3-6 6-3 6-3 for his 6th title

Bogota: Maria def. Pigossi 6-3 4-6 6-2 for her 2nd title

Ons team

Jelena Jankovic looks Chinese in that photo.

Ons team.

[quote]Jelena Jankovic looks Chinese in that photo

Ons team!

Bencic in the shadows.

Why on Earth did ADF committed that hate crime that is his new haircut?! Imagine having beautiful golden hair and doing... THAT.

Into a third set at Charleston.

How long Charleston South Carolina Open been around?

R209 1979! Oldest professional all-women's tournament in America.

[quote]Why on Earth did ADF committed that hate crime that is his new haircut!?

I think he's had that 'top knot' for a while now. Hubi also got a haircut

I am no longer a Hubi fan after he paired with Isner.

Thank you, R210.

?, r212?

[quote] ?, R212?

Hurkacz isn't that cute. I don't get the DL love for him

good shot maker but looks-wise? meh

Hubi looks very goofy to me, R216.

I think that Hubi is cute but he has an odd walk to me; anyone else notice it?

Bencic over Ons.

Bencic has a habit of sneaking in a big title every now and then

Interestingly she does better in big finals and lost her smaller finals

She now has Eastbourne, Rogers Cup, Dubai, Kremlin Cup, Olympics and Charleston

Do you or any say on Ons team but not really on Ons team?

Crying Ons. She's verklempt .

Do you know any who say on Ons team but not really on Ons team?

yes!

Isner denied again by Opelka! 6-3 7-6(7)

Opelka now 5-1 in the h2h and hasn't lost since their close first meeting in 2016 when he was new on tour

Yay!

Chewbacca team!

Sasquatch team!

On Tennis Channel now Giron ass vs. Davidovich Fokina.

Love Giron. It’s nice seeing another American person of color player other than Tiafoe.

Stanimal is back in action tomorrow and plays Bublik. That could be entertaining.

Is troll 5937 from the prior thread (see R13) ESL?

Very sad for Ons pubis, very grateful to Opelka .

Is this where we talk about Bencic going all the way again at Rogers Cup?

Are you kidding r216?!? Hubie is soooooooooooooooooo adorable what is wrong with you?

Even people who've never watched a tennis match nor heard of him love Hubie.

the women have no tournaments this week as it's a round of Fed Cup

Monte Carlo is the only pro men's event. I love the scenery at that tournament. Has anyone here ever been there?

garbi muguruza is on a safari in africa. Osaka is on holiday in Hawaii. I want to go too!

No. But it's on my bucket list. one of the most beautiful venues.

I've been to Monaco but not to the tournament or the club. I'd love to go to the tournament some day, the scenery really is fabulous.

Make a new plan, Stan.

Mrs. Edythe Van Hopper: Most girls would give their eyes for the chance to see Monte!

Maxim de Winter: Wouldn't that rather defeat the purpose?

I like Stan’s game a lot and missed him. Pity he lost so quickly upon his return.

Is Daddy Cames Jourier volunteering to comfort Stanimal and give him a massage?

Let me pick those acne scars for you, Stan my man.

I know he's probably still shaking off the rust, but Stan really did look quite 'old and slow.'

Can Jannik Sinner win a point without glaring to his box and doing that stupid fist pump?

Hubie is pigeon toed....but he's still adorable

Shapo has launched 'ShapoShelter' to help shelter pets find a home

That’s sweet, R246. He may be dumber than a box of dog hair, but that is a good move.

I've been to Monaco, though not the tennis grounds.

It really is ridiculously opulent. In every sense of that word. Views, buildings. Everything is dramatically perfect.

r246 thanks for posting this. Now I'm a Shapo fan!

[quote]I've been to Monaco, though not the tennis grounds.

The Monte Carlo Country/Tennis Club is actually not in Monaco, but right across the border in France (Roquebrune-Cap-Martin)

The Tsitsi brothers won their doubles match (wearing the new Adidas kit)

What is that Adidas, ehrm, pattern? It looks like something from an Inca museum.

R251 anything's a step up from the 'shitty shorts' Adidas were pushing the first few months of the year!

Mudcloth > Something that someone wiped their ass with…

It is a very distinctive pattern. Surprising choice.

That is an upgrade from muddy green and brown colors.

Delpo post retirement.

Hi! I's Shapo! Come visit Shapo Shelter where we's try to help dogz and catz.

Follow Shapo Shelter. To gether we can find more homez for these pour animalz.

To gether e can high light the storiez of these poor animalz!

I ate a prickly pear. Now I have a Coric.

I sat on a bench with a lot splinters. Now I have a Bencic.

I like that Adidas at least did something different. It's an upgrade from the shit-stained shorts they put out, and Nike recycling the exact same outfits over and over again. Jo Willy Tsonga looked great in the black top. I'm going to miss him and his phat ass.

Sissypants vs Fabio could be a good match tonight. And I hope Karatsev destroys that homophobic twink Rune. We also have DJokovic vs Davidovich Fokina, Djere vs Cressy (handsome battle), Young Grigor vs Lajovic (also a handsome battle).

In WTA news, Taylor Townhouse is back after maternity leave. And Andreescu will make her return with a protected ranking at #22 (still benefiting from ranking points from her 2019 Indian Wells win).

[quote]Taylor Townhouse is back after maternity leave

LOL. Can you tell she had the baby?

I'd like Shapo to shelter my head between his legs.

Let's please give Rune a youthful stupid pass.

Because he's going to be so hot, let's hope that his Danish sensibilities will prevail

Going to be so hot? He looks like the little nazi boy who sings Tomorrow Belongs To Me in Cabaret... but to each their own.

Paire vs Musetti is a feast of shotmaking. Unfortunately I don't think Musetti will be a big slam winner or #1 player, but he could be the next Monfils/Grigor/Benoit in that he will always be on the highlight reels and creating memorable matches with his touch and finesse.

^ not to mention his legs

meanwhile, i'm watching LIVE fritz struggling at 1-3 down in the 3rd set against some guy with the name Lucas Catarina? who the hell is that???

[quote[some guy with the name Lucas Catarina?

He's a player from Monaco so he probably received a wild card (and knows the court well).

Watching The Joker being manhandled by some unknown.

[quote] by some unknown

It's Foki! (Alejandro Davidovich Fokina)

Clijsters' comeback won't happen after all

Joker drops the first set.

Clijsters 2nd comeback got derailed by the pandemic.

Come on, Fokker. Hold it together!

“Nole” team or Davidovich Fokina team?

NeverNoVaxxx Team

And DavFok's torpedoed himself at the critical moment. Give me strength!

Clijsters comeback was derailed by Krispy Kreme and Taco Bell.

I know them well, R274.

Rune team or Aslan 🦁 team?

Fog team or Tsitsy team?

Lajovic team or Young Grigor team?

Daddy Fritz through!

Djokovic defeated! Yay! I’m so happy. ADF team!

So great to see 2022 turning into the year of Djoker's Demise.

Yep, I was really worried that ADF would just fold after that second set tie-break. Plaudits to him for keeping his head together, and totally shutting NoVaxxx down in the third.

Homophobe Rune defeats 🦁.

[quote]And DavFok's torpedoed himself at the critical moment

It was quite a tumble

[quote]Fog team or Tsitsy team?

Tsitsy won, Fognini drops 500 points from his 2019 title and will leave the top 60. Frank Schiavone was watching the match!

I'm very much enjoying how well Dusan Lajovic is filling out his shorts this evening.

Fognini is such a twat.

Novaxx must be questioning his decisions and confidence.

If he's capable of introspection.

When he's 60-years-old and sitting in that chair, it'll dawn on him. Now though? His life is too full of sycophants and anti-vaxxer family that he'll never think properly about it.

Fog *is* a twat, but this loss had to hurt. He won in MC in 2019 or something, so I'm sure he hoped to do well.

Titsy took him to the woodshed, 3 and love.

What do we think of Seb Korda versus Alcaraz? Two rising talents. Big match for them I'd think.

Seb Korda looks like lesbian

He does look a bit like the late Jana How-dare-you-asking-me-if-I'm-a-lesbian Novotna. Mind you, that hack had no business asking Jana if she was a lesbian (and rumored to be with coach Hana Mandlikova at that time) in the middle of a post-match presser.

Honna Man-lee-KOH-va

Runaway train hurricane Alcaraz over SebK 6-4, 7-5 if I were betting...

Yeah Korda being American probably isn't great on clay. Alcaraz grew up on it and is built for it.

Anyway, should be interesting.

I think Seb Korda actually looks a lot like a young Steffi Graf

he's fugly

I think Cheatipass will again win this year now that coast is clear for him .

ADF outdoes Shapo in cute animal pics.

First set to Korda in the tie break.

JFC let it go, R299. Some stupid comment a teenager athlete made how many years ago, and you're still OCD with your hating.

If you've got receipts that Shapo is still pro-Putin, pls post them and I'll take it all back.

This Carlos/Korda match is so disappointing considering they are both some of the rising stars of the tour. Huge unforced error tallies, nobody able to hold serve, a very low level of ballstriking. Maybe it's the wind?

R301 Simmer down, that was a pretty innocuous post. I'm not R299 but below is what Denis said about Putin. He also said he wants to move to St Petersburg and reiterated this when he played there a few months ago after his match. He is classic spoiled Russian tennis prodigy trash, they are dime a dozen. They are elitist, coddled by their parents, given everything from a young age, often lack critical thinking skills, and usually want to associate with people in power. He acts psychotic on court sometimes, and makes whiny excuses in his press conferences. No amount of blond leg hair or dog photos will change that. No tennis player is beyond critique.

That is my point exactly, R302. He made those comments THREE AND A HALF years ago when he was 19.

Do you want to be held accountable for the rest of your life for every opinion you expressed at 19?

Seb and Carlos split TB sets! On to the 3rd.

Fokina is kinda hot! Very happy he managed to beat Novax.

ADF's bod is chiseled.

R303 ... and? 3 years ago isn't that far back lol. And 19 is an adult. I certainly wasn't saying dumb shit like that at 19 so it's hard to relate to your question. Putin even then was widely known as an evil dictator with a huge global profile. Shapo knew what he was saying and probably even what the reaction would be be.

I just don't see why that poster's comment about ADF having a cute dog photo too conjured such a response. Between hitting the umpire with his racquet in a fit of rage, the Putin comments, literally rapping about how great he is on court, wussing in his press conferences and refusing to give his opponents credit, not knowing that Celine Dion is Canadian (a gay hate crime)... aside from this genuinely sweet dog shelter story, nothing about him indicates he's a great person. This is just a bit of fun, much worse is said about other tennis players on here (poor Pam...).

haters gonna hate, R307

whatevs

Can anyone produce RECENT receipts?

Alcaraz out!

Colour me shocked, r309! I certainly wouldn’t have thought Korda had what it takes to oust Alcaraz.

Did you see the match? If there was as much wind today as there was yesterday or Sunday, then anyone not used to it is going to be in grave trouble.

It was such a WTA match. Neither player could hold serve.

Don't breaks happen a lot more on clay compared to other surfaces? Even for the men?

Who will win the top half now? It's wide open, a good opportunity for someone.

R301 ad nauseam, there was nothing hateful in what I posted about Shapovalov. You sound quite easily triggered. If you have anything more recent than his 2019 Putin swooning, please update us. Shapo seems pretty innocuous compared to Zverev or Djokovic, but that's an awfully low bar.

Thank you, R302 / R307. Your comments are very well reasoned and on target.

Ru(ne) team or Ru(ud) team?

Which one is the homophobe that we should forgive because he's young?

Fortunately Team Ruud who just straight-setted the brat.

Felix and Lorenzo really should be dating. They'd make a cute couple.

Matteo might have dibs.

Sad days for Felix fans, though. He's been in a major slump since taking his first 500 title.

Rublev team or Minotaur team?

Delbonis team or A. Zverev team?

Casper tummy

shaggy/shaggable Musetti

Fucking Bublik goes a break down in the 3rd set against PCB and promptly just gathers his stuff and walks off court because he, apparently, can't be arsed to continue. The previous day Kyrgrios is bigging him up on Twitter as one his gang of great 'entertainers'.

The day cannnot come soon enough when these arrogant grifters get bored and quit the sport. Unfortunately they all enjoy the money and attention too much for that to be likely to happen soon.

There should be a circus where they can all retire.

[quote] There should be a circus where they can all retire.

Family Circus Cup!

A. Zverev anf Rublev advance.

[quote]It's wide open, a good opportunity for someone.

Like my thighs back in the day. And yes, a good opportunity for anyone really.

I'm glad Rublev came through v. The Demon. I think Rublev is very likeable.

LOTS of eye-candy matches tomorrow:

Casper v Grigor

Titsy v Djere

Musetti v Lil Diego

and Daddy F v Seb

and Hubie v ARV

Damm!

R330, I'd bang at least one in each match up.

Have you ever been to or stayed at Shapo Shelter?

Daddy Fritz!

Wait... are you saying the Danish guy is a homophobe? Ironic since Denmark is actually very gay friendly and a lot more liberal than Norway, where Casper Ruud is from.

But there are homophobes even in the more gay friendly countries and gay friendly people even in the most homophobic countries.

Holger has a typical bratty behaviour on court, it's difficult to root for him

There's documentation of him calling himself a gay slur after he missed a shot. There was a brief, minor press coverage of it. After that, he quickly apologized and said that wasn't him--something like that. Some won't forgive him, ever. Others, because he's young, think it was a remark in the moment, regrettably, but that he might grow out of it and someday, if he's not already, be embarrassed by it.

@ R336

Forgiveness is about as popular as scabies on the DL...

He was lucky the incident was at a challenger level and when he was outside top 100.

It's true he reacted well after the incident (not like his mother or Moratoglou) but he would lose sponsors if that happen at atp level

Alejandro Davidovich defeated Goffin 64 61

We may well get a surprise winner of this tournament: Ruud out this morning, ADF through, Musetti seems to be comfortably handling Lil Diego, nip and tuck between Cheatypiss and Luscious Laslo...

Laslo is so sexy.

I think Gramps looks cute and sexy in this ad (even AnnE is bearable).

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