Jordan Henderson

it’s thinking about his thighs hours😭

my Captain🏆🏆🏆🐐🐐🐐

[quote] his SHITHOUSING

What is that?

Is that a noun or a verb?

GET A ROOM, OP!

R3 babes the delightful thing is that it can be both🙃

def.: to shithouse—to use cunning or agitating or wind-up behaviour to gain an advantage. Implies a dark or shadowy motive. May be used either in an admiring or pejorative sense.

def.: a shithouse—a person, usually a male athlete, who can and does use guile or aggression or some kind of clever yet forceful behaviour to turn a situation to his advantage. Implies a degree of ‘dark’ masculine energy. Also may be used either in an admiring or pejorative sense.

R4 shan’t!!!!

You’re just jealous that my bias is the best-looking😌😌😌

Could someone confirm that the OP was having an epileptic seizure when she posted and that she is now headed to the morgue after swallowing her tongue?

I want the peace of mind that will come with that confirmation.

Does OP also know the definition of "shithead," by chance?

But but but... OP sounds pretty much shitfaced though.

Does Jordan run in Warwickshire or Northamptonshire?

Henderson is handsome and sexy precisely because he is not classically handsome. he has that toothiness and also is slackjaw adjacent. His body is great, but his upper body is completely underdeveloped, though fitting for his sport. In short his looks are dime a dozen attractive.

You shitbirds leave OP alone. Is it you, OP? The one whose energetic, articulate lusting after footballers I have admired before? I could read you perving over these guys for quite a long time, I suspect.

R12 yes girl tis I!!!!! Thank you baby for the kind words, and for showing these clowns it’s better to appreciate not hate💋💋💋

R9 would you believe I actually don’t even drink or smoke? (pop the occasion pill, me, and that’s it) Swear down🦄 and neither does Hendo so we’re obviously mfeo!

[quote] Henderson is handsome and sexy precisely because he is not classically handsome.

Astute R11! It’s the way you’re so right and correct and valid😌😌

Just want my hand held by him tbh😔

If I had to pick one to spend a night with, it'd be Grealish. He just gives off that energy of being able to fuck and fuck and fuck and then keep fucking. You'd walk away from that bowlegged. I don't get the same vibe from Hendo.

Jordan is a river to his people.

[quote] Grealish. He just gives off that energy of being able to fuck and fuck and fuck and then keep fucking. You'd walk away from that bowlegged. I don't get the same vibe from Hendo.

hahahaha the way you think Jack tops 💀 spoiled bratty princesses don’t wanna work that hard do they?

and anyway just who dyou think keeps Jack in line and satisfied half the time hmmm?😌

R16 we do concur though that Jack while submissive and breedable has got endless stamina. He’ll just take whatever you give him and keep asking for more until someone needs medical attention. A special and prodigious level of slut, him..

I want to see the River Jordan flowing freely to his people.

You have a point, R18 (and R19, I assume you're the same person). Henderson is the sterner of the 2 - and who doesn't appreciate a stern man? But yeah, Grealish reeks of stamina *and* sluttishness. Hendo would do you once, again if you asked nicely, and then tell you off about needing sleep if you wanted a third ride. Which I would enjoy.

Also where did you find that gif? It's perfect. What a WHORE he is.

R22 here’s a permalink to the Jack gif 😘(assuming that’s the one you meant?)

yeah Jack is an absolute next level slag isn’t he? just wants to be fucked and touched every minute of the day and night. libido stronger than that little brain...

[quote] Hendo would do you once, again if you asked nicely, and then tell you off about needing sleep if you wanted a third ride. Which I would enjoy.

NAH it’s the way I need this?

Hendoooo tuck me in Daddy I’ll be good and go to sleep..

Don’t even care that he’s a married Xt*an just want his body on me😫

I met him years ago before he became captain when the reds came to USA. He was super nice to fans and I complimented him on his hair, got a chuckle out of him.

R26 GIRL WHAT THAT’S MASSIVE please know I am saaaauuuuur jealous!!! Rn reading your comment I’m just giggling and blushing and kicking my feet like a schoolgirl with a crush🎶

You timed it well as well, meeting him in one of his glow-up periods (even though the 2014 wasn’t ideal for LFC). Back then he was growing into his manly tougher more built look while also still having the fresh-faced boyish charm too (and fewer crows feet cos he didn’t have so much pressure😅) Gerrard was on his way out about that time so things were starting to go Jordan’s way then..

God and his hair is amazing ennit😍😍just lovely gold and shiny and neat (and even sexier when it goes a bit curly and messy with sweat...)

How did you get a cute little laugh out of him? What exactly did you say I must know!!! You literally lived my dream ilusm for that❤️(and hate you a little bit also)

Skipper Hendo says “give us the FA Cup right now we deserve it🏆”

and he’s right for that

“999, what’s your emergency?”

“Hi yeah it’s just dawned on me that Hendo has been playing in the FA Cup for ten years and I now I’ve collapsed and can’t get up”

no cos i would actually thrive as his second wag i just need to be given the opportunity

respect to the current and soon to be former Mrs hendo but my time is now

England national team social media just dropped a little retrospective interview snippet about Hendo’s career in youth football, and I’m like....😒what are youse trying to say, that he’s past it?

Skippah’s in his prime now, he’s not going anywhere!

Hendo gave us another trademark Alpha moment, in the vs Man United match the other day. Just stared straight into the soul of that angry Beta gremlin Bruno Fernandes, and laughed derisively.

Why all these yapping little whelps think they can step to Hendo is beyond me. The man is a unit, originally from a rough part of the impoverished North, and quite clearly born with hot Saxon/Norse blood. Not a man you’d want to tangle with in a fight.

Aldi mascara? OP is an annoying straight woman.

R19 Jack is quite the nympho, wingmen are definitely recommended.

Hendo is alfa. I would love to marry him.

R35 I'd rather be his neighbor and secret sidepiece. I'd even be willing to take a turn with Jack in order to give Hendo some peace.

[quote] willing to take a turn with Jack in order to give Hendo some peace.

Neither would mind in the least. Jack’s ab exhibitionist who craves new stimulation regardless of the source, and Jordan always swells with pride and ego as well as arousal watching his well-trained baby go to work (that’s the sole caveat, btw—Jordan has to be present to supervise). And yeah, Hendo’s got so many plates in the air, he could use a night to just lie back and watch.

R37 Or at least a break. He'd watch Jack take a couple of fumbling sweaty cocks and get so turned on that he'd have to get into that sloppy hole and reassure his boy that daddy still wants him.

[quote] He'd watch Jack take a couple of fumbling sweaty cocks and get so turned on that he'd have to get into that sloppy hole and reassure his boy that daddy still wants him.

Mmmm yep🙏

Jack never truly has doubts that he’s Jordan’s favourite and always will be, but he’s not gonna say no to a visceral reminder in the form of a strong tongue in his hole and sharp teeth on his neck and a powerful hand on his cute cock. Jack sweats just thinking about how possessive his Daddy gets, with the dark heavy primal look that comes into Jordan’s eyes meaning he has to end their evenings of fun early so he can leave his marks all over Jack.

It’s intoxicating being caught in the middle of that...

Rebecca, Adam, Jack...🤔Hendo’s type must be a physically-sturdy and tanned brunette with strong features and blinding railings.

Guess I have no shot, then...😔

R39 Jack's probably so flirty because he likes seeing that look, and getting that friendly strong hand put on him - one step off being collared.

Decaf, OP.

Meh. Looks weird in that stereotypically English way.

[quote] weird in that stereotypically English way.

There’s over a dozen different phenotypes of Englishman, and a hundred different regional stereotypes besides. You’ll have to be more specific.

Apparently, analysis of the match tapes show Hendo in the R32 moment called Bruno Fernandes “a fucking rat” and ordered him to “stop crying” after getting carded for a reckless high tackle (on Hendo’s adopted son, Trent Alexander-Arnold).

Good! Them cheating reds need telling..

Love it too that the Man United players on the England squad (Lingard, Rashford, Maguire) clearly still defer to Hendo’s authority in a match they’re playing *against* him.

R45 Jack probably has to adjust himself when he sees Hendo getting all protective of his boys.

[quote] Jack's probably so flirty because he likes seeing that look, and getting that friendly strong hand put on him - one step off being collared.

[quote] Jack has to adjust himself when he sees Hendo getting all protective of his boys.

Jack absolutely soaked and trembling thinking about wearing a collar for Hendo. Even just wearing his cross chain, knowing what it means...

So yeah, he’ll keep flirting and playing up and pushing his luck until he gets put in his place. Because Jordan makes him feel safe and loved, but also like a filthy feral slut who needs to be tied up and disciplined.

Sweaty post-match Hendo hungrily eyeing the Prem trophy with its sky-blue City ribbons in grabbing distance is a sexy vibe✊🏆😍

R48 Hendo knows how to take what he wants.

Doesn't he, Jack?

Love it when the Skip gets a good meaty press conference. He was looking like a proper meal at the Villareal presser😍

We have to really savour each new one we get, as Hendo’s winding down his career, and we know now that LFC are sadly and reluctantly looking to replace him by the 2024-2025 season (before he ages beyond use)...

Just took the Hot/Crazy Scale Test, answering as Jack.

The result is as predicted:

[quote] You are 100% hot, 90.25% crazy, which places you in the Crazy Zone.

Skip got us a goal last night and made sure we got to the Champion’s League final!

What a man what a man what a man👑

OP can't communicate and thus shouldn't post. What a mess.

I had no idea Hendo was so beloved. Seems to be mostly straight women in this topic, though. Unless "WAG" is being used as a substitute for "HAB".

R53 R54 aww cheers for turning up

we love picking off a whingebag throwing his toys out the pram round here lad🙏

So gorgeous especially when he’s happy and winning!!!

Hendo kills me with that little silver cross on a chain he wears all the time.

There’s something so… corny about it, something so 2000s, something about him being the type of bloke who several years ago was slipping off from international football squad duty with his boyfriend to go to strip-clubs, but now goes to church with his wife every weekend and takes his little daughters to football practise and wears that cross chain with a sensible cardigan everyday....drives me wild.

Humility and pragmatism are such sexy qualities in a successful man aren’t they?

R58 And also that he hopes to carry his performance into Jack's ass.

R59 oh absolutely...

Though Jordan is always pretty confident that he can keep Jack and his pretty arse very satisfied.

R60 The legs on those boys ...

R61 Jack Grealish in particular should insure his legs for an insane amount of money like Kylie Minogue did her bum

R62 Jack knows the value of a good stretch.

So cheeky and cute when he was young, was Hendo! Humble beginnings have had an immense ending.

Bit weird seeing the tough massive stoical Captain Sensible we know from today acting like a naughty shy schoolboy, though..

R63 yep! Best way to make sure the lads all notice and appreciate your assets & flexibility is to get it all out on show and then work it til someone looks at you a few seconds too long....

If anyone can lip-read what Jordan says to Jack at R60 I would be so grateful to know🙏

R66 "Fine - I'll fuck you behind the stands, after practice."

R60 Jack performing Hendo reacting

R68 Jack does love to catch daddy's eye.

R69 half the reason Jack turns up and makes an effort going to every England training session is to make sure Hendo gets a good eyeful of his body and his smile. Just a reminder to make sure Jordan knows what he's working so hard to keep hold of.

If in 2012, you'd told me that awkward, goofy, shuffling trainee Jordan from Sunderland with the dodgy gait would, in a decade, go on to become the absolute unit and severe bastion of an England team captain we know now, I'd have laughed myself sick with disbelief. Hendo himself probably would have laughed, too.

Goes to show what can be achieved using grit, and graft, and self-awareness and willingness to change, all underscored by a desire to prove people wrong.

R70 He's quite the playful pup.

The popular game Fortnite actually has a skin for Hendo's famous tippy-taps celebration (for lifting trophies) lmao

Jordan applauded the ungrateful Newcastle crowd booing him the other night 🤴

R74 Got my choice of tail waiting for me, have a nice day.

R75 yeah I'd feel fucking untouchable too if Jack Grealish was always blowing up my phone & DMs begging me to rail him after every match

Gay friendly?

R77 very much so.

R76 Jack knows he's going to get pounded sore after all that.

R79 yes! Winking and smiling and flirting with the stands, knowing that they can abuse him all they want, but Jack's the lucky little devil who's got his choice of hot throbbing massive dick waiting for him to jump on and ride all night. That sexy smirk says his hole loosening up and softening and drenching, just thinking about the night he's about to have, as he makes that throw-in....

Hendo's original teeth were so adorable, pointy and a bit demonic. They gave him a bit of a scally dirty edge of authenticity, and made him seem relatable.

While I think he's ridiculously fit as he is now, I have to admit that his veneers are kind of uncanny and don't do much to improve his looks. Very white and square veneers look so cheap to me, in a trashy American way. The new teeth have also altered the shape of his lips and jaw slightly for the worse, I think. He used to have an exaggerated curved lip.

Well, he certainly knows how to sashay!

his face looks like a cat's pinched asshole

Funny thing is, Hendo never dreamed of winning a Premier League trophy, let alone Champions' League. As a youth player, he said he only ever hoped to win an F.A. Cup for his home-team and his original team Sunderland F.C., before he turned 30 or entered retirement (he wrote that on his Bebo page back in 2008).

Now, fifteen years after he expressed his juvenile wish for success, the only trophy he hasn't yet held and put in the cabinet is that F.A. Cup he wanted originally, and there's still a few years in pole position left to get it...the Big Dick energy of that...

R80 Good thing he built those thighs up.

R80 Hendo will have only the team's biggest over to help satisfy his boy.

R86 now Hendo is going to have to come up with something extra-special and hot, to make his poor baby feel better and take him out of his head after the miserable defeat and drumming-out Manchester City endured in the UCL last night. Jordan is going to a major Cup final, while Jack stays at home to watch the match he and his team ought to have played. That would put a strain on any relationship.

Maybe Hendo can smuggle Jack with him to Paris for the UCL final game. French top-drawer hotels in the capital are the height of romance, non? Sex in silk sheets and eating Laduree in bed. If anyone deserves to be spoiled and fucked like a saucy continental escort, it’s our Jack.

The sauceless new LFC kit...just when you thought it couldn't get more tedious...

And isn't Nike meant to be, y'know, good at sportswear? Bring back New Balance I say.

Oh well, we move. Hendo still looks proper fit, and he's wearing the Skipper's armband in the promo pics, so we can't be too upset.

R87 Jack probably looks sad - bet his cock is hard, though. He knows daddy will take care of him.

R89 aww Jack's alright, no matter how beaten he feels right now (and he really does, poor baby), because Hendo's got him. Jordan's a busy man with commitments and people relying on him, but he will still make time every day, even if just for five minutes, to check in and talk to Jack, be with him in some way. Jack is never alone, sexually or otherwise, while he can call or message Daddy, get pics from him, listen to him fall asleep over a video-call. They're so good.

As we type Hendo's planning where they can stay in Paris, and how Jordan can celebrate his cup win while including Jack in his joy while not reminding Jack of his own lack of current success. Jordan's a secure fella with healthy boundaries, but he can't deny that to make his sweet beautiful slutty boy happy gives him an extra kick and really makes his day. Jack deserves the world, and Hendo's a competitive and possessive man who wants to be the one to give it him.

All week Jack's been holed up at home, not talking to anyone, crying and sulking in his room as he wastes his recovery time mindlessly scrolling to distract from his disappointment and heartbreak. But he's going to feel a thousand times better when Hendo's message for tonight comes through. "Can't wait to have you in another country. How many is that now? We should find a bedroom everywhere on the map eh? I'm game if you are. Can't wait to see you soon (well-rested! So go to sleep before midnight, Skip's orders) xxx"

R90 Hendo's so good at taking care of his boy.

If I ever come across Cristian Romero out in these streets, in Argentina or in Britain, it’s on fucking sight mate🤬😤

That tackle he made last night was not on

Bit disappointing, the result vs. Spurs, but these occasional little upsets do happen and keep us on our toes. It’s a stumble on an otherwise glorious campaign.

Don’t blame yourself, Captain Sexy! We go again! There’s still one small chance that C*ty will slip up, and we can nick their trophy. And if not, then we’ve got their number now, and there’s always next season...

Jack and Hendo can console one another.

He’s always messing with his hair on the pitch haha. King I’ll follow you around and fix it for you🙏

(would prefer to see him ditch the gel and let the curls free though..)

Now the Prem is almost completely out of reach for this year, time to focus it all on getting the CL trophy....

We need the energy of the Milan game from last autumn, where Hendo put that incredible winning goal in for us, right out the gate....

sigghhhh the humility and graciousness combined with determination and grit....

Would give a lot to enjoy the privilege of Hendo giving me stern instructions in the backseat of my car....

Nationwide Bank have done Hendo so dirty, exposing his thinning hair..

Oh, well, we don’t care and neither does Jack, cos Jordan still looks well fit🙏

R99 Jack's endless appetite to be bred has upped Hendo's testosterone levels. It does help keep him fit, though.

Wingmen, Hendo. Your boys will help you keep Jack satisfied.

R100 yes indeed! Running on Alpha for so long without a break, as a top athlete and a family man as well as a lover, takes its toll on Hendo's body, but it's so worth it. The pride he feels when, despite being so tired, he still gets Jack so blissed out that he's fainting in bed and then waking up in Jordan's arms with that beautiful happy infatuated and amazed smile...makes up for the exhaustion, defo. Hendo would do it all over again from the start, just for Jack.

But yeah, there's no shame asking for help, and Hendo needs to rely on his trusted teammates more for that. Both England and Liverpool teams have got a dressing-room full of strapping lads, who all know how much Jack means to Hendo and that they're always expected to treat Jack with respect and care even in rougher or more primal sexual situations. Jordan can and should leave Jack safely in their hands when he needs to take a long weekend off to R&R his tired body.

R101 Hendo could have a list of suitable guys to step up. Of course, it could become distracting, all those guys boning up when they see Jack at practice, thinking about Jack's sweet ass and that lovely wet sound he makes when he has his third orgasm.

Of course, only guys who get tested and keep themselves clean would be allowed to be part of the breeding team.

6 trophies in the cabinet for the Skipper...more than any Liverpool Captain in history. He's a legend and an icon, our Jordan.

R102 safety is a top priority, yeah. Only mature lads, who stay clean and understand the appropriate contexts to lay hands Jack, get the responsibility.

Kinks have to be clearly negotiated, as well. No pulling or grabbing Jack's hair, for example--Jack doesn't like it when anyone other than Daddy does that.

R104 Yes, some things only daddy gets to have. It goes both ways, of course. Only Jack gets to receive Hendo's ASMR-inducing phone calls. Hendo knows the sounds that go straight to Jack's special places.

didn't think it was possible but he looks even sexier with a medal

Literally 20 hours after his massive worldbeating victory, Jordan's back working out and thinking about the next game. I'm tryna be on this level...

(Don't think we didn't catch the cheeky choice of soundtrack song on his stories, either...clearly for Jack's benefit, letting him know "Daddy misses you, baby"...)

R106 Bet Hendo lets Jack wear his medal while he's preparing his boy for pleasure. It would be enough like a collar that Jack wouldn't dare touch himself.

R108 an uncharacteristically-shy Jack's teething on the metal of the brooch to keep himself quiet in the hotel room, which is difficult when Hendo is so deep in him that he can feel cockhead in his diaphragm. Jack's own cock waits for either Daddy to touch or for further instructions....and they won't be coming for a while..

Long heavy night of romantic passion for them...

R109 Hendo knows that his boy will need a lot of firm loving before he can sleep.

Hendo was half-hard lifting the FA Trophy. Can't blame him, it's pretty hot of him and his team...

R111 He knows his boy is gonna get on that dick the second they are alone together.

Hendo says he doesn't watch Man City games. Liar! He absolutely does when his slutty angel is playing.

R113 He'll give his boy a nice dirty phone call after a game.

R114 mmm hmm, Jack goes to sleep after getting off to Jordan talking him up.

Hendo's voice is delicious, just like a deep soft rumbling that makes you feel safe but hot at the same time..

R115 I imagine Hendo has learned to get Jack to a bed before winding him up - no sense leaving his boy passed out on the couch with his legs spread.

Unless he's sent someone over as well.

He'll create his own little app called JumpinJack, made up of trusted lads who've got what it takes to get it done.

Or maybe JumponJack - hmm.

[quote] Hendo has learned to get Jack to a bed before winding him up - no sense leaving his boy passed out on the couch with his legs spread. Unless he's sent someone over as well.

R116 the way your mind works....

Our Skipper looked so warm and happy and DILFy, teaching those little kids in the Manny sunshine.

Aww, Hendo & Jack look good taking care of a big passel of kids. Maybe in ten years when they've settled a bit?

R119 Hopefully Jack's need to be the team cumdumpster will have faded by then.

he looks like an elf

Hendo’s been praised as having managerial qualities on the pitch, before he’s even retired.

[quote] Hopefully Jack's need to be the team cumdumpster will have faded by then.

Jack will never stop being a slut, of course, but by his mid-30s one hopes he’ll settle, have a bit of decorum, become a slut for just one man. Whorishness is best kept behind closed doors in middle-age, and one has to be a good example to children.

Sky Sports how fucking dare you use my Skipper's heartbreak for clicks! Desgustang...

There's gonna be a lotta consolation sex.

R125 yup, no rest for the poor Skipper...well, not until after a halfway-drunk smiling soft Jack meets him at the hotel door and they fuck their feelings out...

R126 Even Jack might get a cramp from Hendo's fucking tonight - good thing daddy knows how to rub those out for his boy.

Jack tomorrow afternoon crawling outside to sunbathe on the grass after he finally wakes up boneless from the celebratory hangover and the night of Daddy fucking him to pieces like:

His season is over now, guess he's going on vacation now! I hope Jack doesn't get the monkey pox!

^^next time we hear from Jack will probably be after a police report from Marbella. Soliciting is a serious offense after all.

Little Hendo aka Myles has curly hair like his Pops! Such an adorable little boy <3

And he's pals with Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain's baby son (the one he has with popstar Perrie Edwards). Too cute.

R130 Hendo will bail Jack out, and show him the error of his ways.