World Cup squad 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 ⚽️ Call-up day

Declan Rice & Mason Mount ✅ but Chilly ❎? Garef explain?? Can’t split up the England power throuple

also Harry ‘Slabead/Fridge’ Maguire & Reece James in, but not Tammy Abraham or Matt Targett. Plus no sign of Jarrod Bowen or Max Kilman. WHY

Is this a Surviving Angel stealth thread?

Southgate is an idiot.

R3 yes Gareth is so thick! What is he thinking with these selections?!

He’s also dickmatized by Harry Kane. We litrally don’t need him Gareth—just bring Jadon Sancho instead and we’ll be fine ffs!

for me it’s the way Hendo spent the entire fortnight prior to selection posting uncharacteristic thirst traps selfies and stories from the pool and the gym🤒

no way was he allowing Gareth to leave him behind!

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Grealish has got a nerve, captioning ‘Wembley!’ as if he’s already won the Prem singlehandedly, and also posting pics of his (admittedly lovely) arse at the same time.

That’s your most esteemed place of work Grealo, and you’re due there in a week for England duty, which is a privilege and not a right. A bit of decorum and respect, please, little strumpet! Or is that too much to expect from a brainless tart...

Who’s watching the England 2019-22 documentary tomorrow then ladies? It looks levels to be honest 🔥

it’s the way Mo Salah took the R5 pic😚

Jack’s so fit in the England kit. 9-and-a-half peng ting her!

SGP player arrivals 2022 is finally uploaded!

Never has fifteen minutes of English boys getting out of cars and saying “y’alright?” to a cameraman been more uplifting🙏

Jack with his arse and thighs all the way out for the lads

Swear down he bribes the kitmen to wash his shorts on high or just give him the juniors’ sizes

Mason x Phil new ship dropped 🚨

BREAKING the World Cup is not Coming Rome!!!!✊🙏 🏆⚽️

didn’t even qualify and got knocked out by Macedonia hahahahaha have that pizza merchants. Karma she is a-hungry!!! now do u regret making Prince Bukayo cry??? and ruining Wembley Summer with your greasy diveboard cuntery???

cured my mental illness this has (for a weekend). unfortunate Italy won’t be knocking Ratnaldo’s Portugal out but it’s still nice not to have to see smug Pavarotti memes all over the dash

Dare I say the squad look ...ready? Good and fit? Motivated?

So traumatised since last summer that I can hardly dare to hope...AND YET🏆

[BOLD]BOYCOTT WORLD CUP QATAR 2022!![/BOLD]

R17 here’s how much of a piece of work I am—I’m English/Welsh and have supported both football teams most of my life, and yet all this year I’ve been hoping and praying that Wales either drop out/boycott or don’t qualify (as you’d have to drag the England squad to Hell and torture them before they would ever drop out of a WC, and also I can’t stand Ryan Giggs). I have wished for this purely so I may take the moral high-ground and sniff “well MY team aren’t partaking in the Hideous Display Of Human Rights Degradation”, while at the same time still secretly getting to enjoy the occasion via England’s tournament. Ought to be dep0rted to Europe for treason, me😔

However in spite of my evil juju Wales are in fact doing very well so far in this tournament, and deservedly so. So...gôl, wedwn i? Maddau i mi Capten Bale🕯

tonight was the World Cup draw and England got put in Group B for the first round...against USA, !ran, and whoever win the European playoffs (likely Scotland or Wales)

what a result. can’t believe this luck if we’re honest. someone’s probably paid off UEFA knowing us but not even arsed because we are walking this group and actually finally ITS COMING HOME

We'll all be watching together

genuinely think italy being kicked out of the world cup qualifiers was retribution for that stupid fucking viral post showing the Italian players celebrating while england players were upset in the background that STILL pops up on my dash

we’ve had italian whore summer so next its time for brexit whore crimbo luvs xxx

R20 mmm reallay? gow on...

They look like kids in those cheap suits. I would have flat-out refused to wear one.

Half the England team regulars went in full kit (wankers...) to a private screening of MORBIUS in 4DX at a Cineworld in London during their weekend off.

*Mourinho voice* If I speak I am in trouble😶

^^to be a fly on the wall during that screening

The fact they all had to turn up actually dressed in their England gear to watch a film as if it’s a school trip😅

Almost everyone leaning over to each other after Act 1 like “the fuck is this about mate?” except for Phil Foden & Conor Gallagher who are essentially both big kids still and think that Marvel is the bollocks. They get absolutely banjoed on Tango Berry Blasts that they’ve spiked themselves with wkd Blues, and start jabbering to each other about !llum!nat! symbology in SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME while everyone else zones out or scrolls their feed or gets it on with another player

Marc Guehi though would probably rather die than have to sit through this blaring CGI rubbish for hours in a cold loud half-empty cinema with his geeky childish stupid new colleagues, so to make the experience fly by in a tolerable blur he’s snapchatting a fit IG model he got introduced to at the last England after-party and he’s also playing a silent game of COD on his phone the entire runtime

Luke Shaw is itchy in his regulation tee and undershirt, lowkey wondering if anyone’s game for a handball in the bogs rather than watching the film but he’s sat in the middle of an aisle and can’t be bothered squeezing his squishy hips and arse out of the tiny folding seat and past everyone to go and hang about in the chilly bathroom

Conor Coady lapses into full Tired Mum Mode twenty minutes in, ‘resting his eyes’ with his arms crossed over his chest and snoring. Dreaming about his wife’s shepherd’s pie and where he’s gonna take his kids for the next holiday, but also having a cheeky shuteye fantasy about kipping in his absent mate Tyrone’s big arms

Mason & Declan lipsing rather than watching a second of the movie, only they’re doing it in the front row rather than the classic choice of the back just to be really obnoxious. It’s NVQ1 until Leto does some push-ups onscreen Mason gets a bit overexcited and NVQ2 gets underway

Jack bored and lost after the few scenes, having no capacity to follow the complicated plot, so he’s mumbling “huh? Wot? Woss gowin’ on bro?” every thirty seconds. Fidgety as fuck because he’s had a packet of blue M&Ms. Falls asleep all cosy with his head and shoulders curled down in Hendo’s lap after giving a solid if cramped blowie, and at the credits wakes up with Hendo’s strong fingers stroking through his hair, so it’s still a top night in his book

Why can't these British ballplayers do nude scenes and jerk-off-scenes like the French?

R23 at least a quarter of them are kids tbf, there’s several older teens in the squad atm.

And many of the rest are young-looking 20-something lads, probably because they don’t smoke and booze and eat poorly like their predecessors did.

thinking about how poland are gonna be playing argentina in the world cup… clear my fucking schedule for that day