Breaking: Hiddleston and Zawe Ashton are Engaged

Well, she's a far cry from Swiftie.

^ I'm sure her contract price is a lot less as well

He’s such a fag.

^ He is, isn't he?

I just googled them, in just about every picture they look like they just met and hardly know each other

When I watched her on FRESH MEAT years ago, I was convinced she was a dyke.

There's no way she's going to be having sex with him. Neither would enjoy it, bearing in mind they're both GAAAY. How long before the turkey baster gets put to god use, I wonder?

I hope she can live up to the romance of the century. That's a tough act to follow...

R7 Ah, Jaguar, you're at risk of fire from Hiddleston's hetero creds staunch defender with that one!

She pinged to high Heaven to me; in fact, more than he ever did. He always struck me as one of those highly intelligent men who never grew up emotionally and so always seemed a bit . . . off. This is, so far as I can tell, the first really long, established relationship with a female he has ever had.

I saw them both in "Betrayal" in 2019, and whilst my perception might be skewed as an eldergay, there did not seem to be an ounce of chemistry between them. Perhaps that was good acting, as the couple are supposed to be estranged emotionally. Anyway, that's how it looked to this viewer.

Welladay, maybe it will all turn out well in the wash.

Link to MIRROR article.

Upcoming film: The Dragonfly Suicides.

^ Have you ever seen two crazy kids so in love?

Lowd, even full-on pro makeup can't make that woman look pretty.

^*Lord (not Lowd)

Look at that huge pink dress . . . it is possible it's hiding . . . a bump?

I am in zawe...er, awe.

I think she's up the duff already. Perhaps she had to force the issue.

Cf. Sophie Hunter and Cumberbatch; she was up the duff, too, when he put a ring on it.

Oh this is going to end well.

^^^. And when it doesn't, I'll be wait'n ' just like a spider'. GWTW quote.

Hiddleston is now backed into a corner with this fake relationship, and doesn't know how to get out of it. No way is he giving up all his women he has squirrelled away over the years for a quick shag when he fancies one. The women have kept their mouths shut up to this point, but this may be the straw that broke the camels back. Zawe certainly knew what she was doing and how to raise her profile. Considering she was set to give up acting just before the Betrayal gig, girl has done well. Just waiting to see if poking holes in the condoms has worked yet as we know how Tom is precious of his gravy and likes to flush them down the loo.

Some stan must have read Monday’s DL thread (above) and then told them they’d better get a fucking move on or it’s Scientology for the both of them!

R19 no condom has gone anywhere near those two - unless it was one of Laurence Spellman’s left on the toilet seat

R19 I have read this rumor about him too and I think it's nasty what some women do.

um but I thought... So not another Elroy Page case?

TH is engaged? To be married? TO A WOMAN???

So 37 (Zawe) is "pushing 40"?

DL is brutal.

R25 Yes, DL is brutal, and, yes, 37 is pushing 40.

The two truths coexist.

I think she looks young for 37 because she is a people of color

R19 Oh, come on. What "women" have been keeping their mouths shut?!

This thread is GOLDEN.

R28 Go ask Lawrence Spellman

@r19, The guy that followed Taylor Swift all over the planet for a year wearing the same shoes has women "squirrelled away"?

Hi, Tom, ya big fake

The rumour about Hiddles flushing the condoms down the loo was put up here on DL by a poster claiming to have slept with him a couple of times. I'm not calling her a liar, I'm not in a position to know, but she is the one who put that up here.

And it's one thing to flush the condom down the crapper when you're 35, but after 40, for an A-List actor over 40 and trying to hold as a sexual draw, the issue goes into reverse: it's time to prove his boys can swim.

So what he may or may not have done in the past is irrelevant. That was then, this is now, and he's demonstrating a classic pattern of former alleged poon hounds: 40th year passeth, the hairline recedeth, hot twinks nippeth at your ankles for hot roles, and the world beginneth to tag you as Peter Pan instead of Big Peter.

Cumberbatch did the same thing. He's 45 now, and he nailed Sophie Hunter at 39 or so (she was 36 and she knew she had no future as an actress - like Meghan and Zawe, Hunter knew that snagging the A-list male was the best gig she was ever going to get), he got her up the duff, married her, and got the two kids he wanted so badly. I'm not saying they aren't reasonably happy - again, I'm no t in a position to know.

But Hiddleston is following a well-worn path here. Those women he may or may not have kept for the occasional shag, IF they exist, are probably sophisticated enough to know that sooner or later, those cosy times would end once Hiddles heard TIme's wing-ed chariot hurrying near. And he isn't exactly as toothsome as he once was, either.

Aidan Turner, speaking of Internet boyfriends, is about to turn 40 - and he IS a documented well-known POS poon hound - quietly found Miss Right, they got married quietly last year with no hoopla of fanfare, and the new Mrs Turner (ALSO 37 and an actress who knew she had no career worth spit ahead of her), also quietly went and had a baby. He turns 40, his thick curly locks are probably also receding, and, suddenly! Poof! Like magic, Miss Right appears.

I'd like a tenner for every time I've seen this kind of actor travel this kind of path.

One of the things I like about Colin Farrell is that he didn't. He's 45, he's still hot, has a 20 year old son with Angelman's Syndrome, and he doesn't give a fuck whether the world thinks he's hot or not, or gay or straight.

The rest of them are straight out of the Former Heartthrob Turns Forty playbook.

R32 right Tom, whatever you say, girlfriend…

R33 Anyone would think from your post that I had been saying nice things about him, when, in fact, I was heaping scorn on him.

R32 When Colin had a second child did he also say that he was glad it was healthy like Chris Pratt said?

R35 - I hadn't heard that, I don't follow it that closely. But it does seem as if the first child's health brought Farrell and his wild life up short. It wouldn't be a hanging matter if he was relieved that his second child was healthy. He's been quite active in support for research into Angelman's, and in support and information channels for parents with Angelman's children.

R32 I get the need to settle down with a woman as the hair recedes, but there have been rumours about Zawes sexuality since Fresh Meat. Is it a case of two bisexual individuals throw in with each other? Isn't Tom's mum bisexual too, and this would account for why he would settle for one he can grow old with whilst still keeping the secret side going?

R37 - I never followed her then, so have no idea. In fact, until "Betrayal" I hadn't a clue who she was. She was forgettable in the role, so was Charlie Cox, it was Hiddelston's show all the way, despite being a fair example of the kind of ensemble playing the British theatre inculcates. Just the same, the house wasn't packed to the rafters to see Ashton or Cox. After that, when I realised who she was and looked back, I agree, she pings mightily.

As to Hiddleston's Mum, I never heard that. Where did you hear that? I know his parents went through a horrible bitter acrimonious divorce when he was in his early teens, and his father disapproved of his choice of career.

As to two bisexual people, who knows. Anything is possible, especially as people age and decide they want families, heirs, kids, whatever.

I really haven't a clue about Hiddleston, except to say that you can spot the difference between him and actor like Turner: one is laughably hetero, the other is, er, I dunno - less immediately so?

The spectrum is a pretty large curve (no, not that spectrum). Wtf knows anymore.

All I'm willing to lay on the line is, those kids are going to be drop dead fugly.

So many questions, r37. I can't keep them straight (much like Tom and Zawe themselves).

R7 That was one embarrassing thread. And that's when he still looked young(ish). It's not that he's not attractive, it's that he's simply not cut out for that kind of overtly sexual aura. If you put Aidan Turner into those shorts and took those shots, they'd have been up on bedroom walls of girls 14-60 by the end of the day the magazine came out. He just doesn't have that kind of buzz.

And, like his friend Cumberbatch, I have yet to see him emit one single frisson of sexual heat onscreen with a woman, including ones he was supposed to be fucking.

Some actors can't do sex.

Believe what you will. But it's certainly entertaining in the midst of the carnage on other screens today.

R38 His Mum left his Dad for a woman. That stung adolescent Hiddles which still shows today.

R41 - Never knew that until this moment. Obviously, I haven't been on the right gossip sites.

Well, I suppose that might have been a bit, er, confusing to young Tom. Perhaps he's taken after his Mum and that's why Pater objected to the acting career, it was like a pink flag - bisexual wife and the only male child off to join the theatre.

^*I guess that could explain his attraction to Swift and Ashton. We know Swift works both sides of the street and Ashton seriously pings.

Has Swift's subsequent English Actor merkin, Joe what's his name, come out yet?

James McAvoy also diverged from the script by marrying in his mid-twenties and having a kid--Ewan McGregor did the same thing. Now both are remarried and McGregor has had a son with the second wife. There are rumors McAvoy's second wife is pregnant, too.

It seems that genuinely heterosexual-leaning men have a string of wives, girlfriends, and kids by the time they hit 40. I always wonder about actors who suddenly get married at 40 after having had very quiet personal lives and no kids up to that point.

Op Its BEARKING. Know your Datalounge!

So have they broken up yet?

Yeah, those two seem VERY uncomfortable together and both ping to the moon and back.

At best, he is a nervous besexual. Or, maybe even asexual.

Cumbersnatch seems much the same as does Redmayne. They all seem vaguely like they hatched from eggs created by Ziggy Stardust. Though Redmayne breaks the mold because he married when he was 32ish.

Meanwhile, McAvoy and McGregor seem quite heterosexual.

Break up?! Why? He needs a wife and kids and she needs entree to better roles, or, if that doesn't work out, a secure gig as Mrs Hiddleston.

I think she’s pregnant