I was thinking how sad it seems to me that there doesn't seem to be a lot of joy or beauty and positivity in the way sex is discussed lately. It just occurred to me that it seems like these days sex is spoken of in one of two ways:
- everything you do is a possible sexual assault; it can even be problematic for you to admire someone, or
- in some sort of defiant statement: 'I squirted all over my sheets today, and if you don't want to hear about that, you're just a repressed bigot!'
I know the latter is considered being sex-positive, but it always seems more like the person is trying to shock people or be defiant (and thereby showing that they actually DO care what people think of their attractiveness).
I was a kid in the 90s. On one hand, sex education in schools was frightening: documentaries on AIDS, warnings about all the ways you could get sick, or die. But on the other, the culture and entertainment was much more what I would call "sex positive". As kids we would all tune in to Dr Feelgood on the radio on Sunday evenings and she would give heaps of positive advice, as just one example. We were told to develop our fantasies, that nothing was wrong in your fantasies, to masturbate freely and to have safe sex.
I've heard some younger guys mention their sex education now is a lot about how everything they do could potentially make them a rapist. Now, I actually think consent is a GREAT thing to be teaching and certainly when I was young, some guys were confused about what that meant so it needs to be taught. But I really hope they're getting positive messages about sex too. Also, when you see the entertainment out there, sex is always being portrayed as such a dark thing. I kinda wish there was more discussion on the beauty of it and what a great thing it can be. But perhaps I'm just not seeing where that is happening.
I know many humans find it a scary topic. It's a very strong, primal need we have. One thing I think should happen is men and women should talk more freely about their sexual drives and how they work. I was away with some girl friends recently and we were talking about sex education and got onto the topic of "post nut clarity", and I explained a lot of how that felt, and they were fascinated because they had no idea beyond 'men often can't go again straight away'. But they didn't know the feelings behind that. It put into context times for them when men have behaved a certain way and they couldn't understand. And on the other hand, I asked them a lot about the way their bodies worked, not that I'm planning on sleeping with a woman, but just out of interest. And I thought: if people could do this, and be allowed to be honest without being judged or other people's insecurities coming into play, maybe it would help?
I dunno, just a bit bored tonight and I'm just curious what others think.