Let's be an episode of Trading Spaces

I totally forgot about that terrible show and annoyingly perky host. Didn't she get fired for nude photos getting leaked? Paige something.

She was singing showtunes nude. So on brand. And I hate that phrase. Frank and his gay little dolls made of wood scraps...by his wife

Hildy Santo Tomas frowns at your shenanigans. Here, breathe these straw fumes, peasant

Ty, just mething around with saws and shit. Here, let me point a nail gun at Doug

i'm the homely frau who sees herself as a self taught interior designer with impeccable taste- pseudo classic piss elegant shit; crocheted doilies, dark replica antiques, 90's feature walls, terracotta tiles, bowls of pot pourri, sticks in vases, cane furniture, wicker baskets, apricot benchtops. I have a perm.

R5 Your death from COVID-19 forced us out of the brick-and-mortar retail game altogether. Your kitty-cat debit card and love of couponing kept us afloat.

Rest in peace, you fat bitch!

Excuse my beauty.

Were there any racially-insensitive concepts? The worst I can recall was the beach-themed room where they poured buckets of actual sand onto the floor, or maybe a vaguely "Caribbean" kitchen for a Black family.

This show made me tense. Even the talented designer guy (Virgil I think?) struggled to make it work on the impossibly small budget.

She’s still crying in her grave…

I'm the stated boundaries of the participating couple that were noted, then summarily dismissed.

I'm Vern's creative accounting.

Cancelled 10+ yrs ago, OP

I'm the pathetic frau who thinks that Doug is a raving heterosexual.

I'm the backsplash. People in these home reno shows spend way too much time talking about me.

^^Not on Trading Spaces.

I haven't thought about Crying Pam in ages, R10. She was probably one of the first disposable reality superstars, along with Richard Hatch, Andra, Marguerite Perrin, etc. Someone should do a "where are they now" on these people.

I'm the ceiling fan. The one thing keeping the menopausal frau from stabbing my fart filled husband mid hotflash. I'm torn out immediately

Doug’s prisoner of love room and Hildi’s straw wall or mildew infested plastic stapled flower bathroom are tough to beat.

I'm all the crap decor that will end up at T.J. Maxx in 6 months.

Disposable, R17 ? Disposable?!

This is bullshit!

If only they had saved the footage of people freaking out over the shitty redecorating. Now THAT would've been award-winning entertainment!

I'm the nutty one with the nutty hats who seemed like a Jane Lynch character who made questionably safe lamps out of shit like bowling shoes and gum wrappers

I'm Kia's grave bed.

I'm Kia's wallpaper border.

I loved the British version better. Lawrence and Handy Andy and all of them.

I am Vern Yip. Everyone hopes that I will be in their house.

Chances are, I won't. But people are always disappointed to work with me, since that means that I'm not over there.

I'm Vern Yip.

I have the self-pride to be out-gay, unlike closeted Doug Wilson.

I'm Carter Oosterhouse, making both housewives and Frank moist as a snack cake down there.

I'm Andrew Dan Jumbo. Whet mee?

I'm the wacky wall hangings made of plexiglass boxes filled with cheap bubble gum. Placed next to scrabble boards. Ain't I wacky? Ain't I?

I'm Frank gifting my room with paintings of topiary trees that look ao much like dicks it's wonder they weren't blurred out

I'm Frank's 14th mention if his wife and the smirk the fat cargo shorts husband gives him

I'm host Alex's valium prescription

I’m the CHOCOLATE BROWN paint that every living room was covered with

I’m the carpet painted orange by Hildi in Dallas.

I’m Paige’s frosted flip hairdo and low-rise jeans.

If I remember Andrew Dan Jumbo had a raging coke problem.

I’m Alex McLeod, y’all! Remember me?

I was the cool raspy-voiced original host before that idiot Paige took over.

I remember this period of time. Lots of makeover shows. I remember some show with a beefy redheaded bear where he would stage for sale homes with the female host and another decorating show with a very dapper, elder queen. I liked that one. While You Were Out was cringeworthy.

This was also the Joan Steffend era. Miss that troll.

[quote]This was also the Joan Steffend era. Miss that troll.

Oh, I'm still here, supplying Joan with cases of Yellow Tail and endless bitterness. She just found an old children's schooldesk in the alley and is using Con-Tact paper to turn it into a "Kicky Swingin' Sixties Inspired Study Nook."

She hates herself.

Love it R41. Missed you.

Anyone remember her?

I’m Frank, painting a chicken on the wall. It’s my subtle way of saying “I love cocks”

I'm the all white room and the all black room and the crying twink all in one episode.

I still don’t understand why they never used thrift stores as decor resources. They could have found actual cute stuff and for peanuts.

I’m an assistant manager at Outback Steakhouse in Orlando, Florida with a high-functioning meth addiction. I’m Ty Pennington’s spirit animal.

[quote] another decorating show with a very dapper, elder queen.

Designing for the Sexes?

Oh get into your neighbor house because you really hate them and then you paint everything black. You take out their real furniture and they you put in a picnic table with benches and some lawn chairs. Make them feel like the trash you really think they are!

[quote]Designing for the Sexes?

I have a friend who played a husband on D4TS (a hetero husband, which is hilarious because he is quite, QUITE gay).

Anyway, the show is a complete phony and actually runs in reverse — the couple shows off their home "after" with all the stuff they'd already bought, then go off to furniture showrooms and boutiques and pretend to be considering merchandise in the "before" portion.

Everyone looked like a thrown together high school theater set. Staples, styrofoam and despair.

I'm Paige in CHICAGO...

Im the couple who is stunned at their home remake and not in a good way

I'm the giant Kokopelli mosaic created by Frank from broken terracotta pots. I'm hot-glued directly onto a turquoise sponge-painted wall in place of a headboard.

To my left and right are sconces made from Crisco cans coated in Elmer's glue and sand.

Paige will ask about my significance and Frank will giggle, wink, and say: "Welllllll, Paige, the homeowners are newlyweds and Kokopelli is a fertility god. And as my naughty bride Judy always says… Oopsies! Family show! Never mind!"

Hi, I'm Klippan. You might recognize me from my starring role in every Trading Spaces episode, ever, involving a living room.

I was usually presented as an afterthought, when they were down to their last $250 and the room had sand dunes, live bats, and a rainbow parachute nailed to the ceiling, but no furniture.

But let's be real: I was the true star of that shit-show.

In OP's defense, R13, it did come back for a couple of short seasons a mere 4 or 5 years ago.

I'm surprised at how little I remember about this show although I know I watched quite a few episodes. I do remember that Vern was the best designer and that he even found this cool mini chandelier-type fixture that I loved.

I'm the random free-floating shelves on the wall that someone thought were so unique and cool in the early 2000s.

I'm the pink deer head.

I had a "moment".

A very brief moment.

The other gay guy was good too. Ponytail, slightly effeminate. Can't remember his name but he usually did safe inoffensive things.

Who was that lazy ass blonde designer who never did any work while the couple was working 24/7 and Ty was trying to figure out what the hell she wanted from her drawings?

Oh looked her up...... Laurie Hickson-Smith.....what a pill

Frank died in 2020......something I didn't know.....

Ah'm the pillahs!

Glue those feathers and wine labels on the wall and call it a day, bitches!

The three words no home owner ever wanted to hear. Hildi Santos Tomas.

I'm Hildi's mildew-magnet bathroom makeover!

I'm Genevieve Gorder's stinky, dirty, bare feet.

I'm the cute, clueless husband from San Diego. When Paige does the reveal, he comes in with his eyes open, and she says "close your eyes!" Then she seductively asks, "What do you smell?" Husband says, "B. O."

I remember this happening, but I've never seen it in reruns.

Wainscoting?! I have to leave the room!! You've just MURDERED ME!! I SAID 'NO WAINSCOTING'!!!

FRANK DIED?

Sniff...

[quote]FRANK DIED?

FRANK HAD A WIFE?

Do you mean the way Greg has a wife, or what?

Doug had a contrarian streak...and he was a little mean.

Hildi Santos Thomas was full-on crazy..."We're going to glue all this moss I found in the trees all over the walls - get busy!"

WHET that hot Evan Farmer?

Let’s throw paint on a canvas / make art for the walls.

R66 My friend (interior designer) worked for Genevieve. On TS and a terrible show called Town Haul. Not much to report…she’s devoid of personality. Not surprisingly, none of the designers do any physical work, that’s left to the many minions.

I'm one of Frank's whimsical designs. I happen to be the little girl painted on a wall, peaking around a corner. I was so creepy, I've been painted, wainscoted, and tiled over so many times, only to reappear...I'm still there. They'll never get rid of me...

[quote]peaking around a corner

Oh, dear.

I'm Ty Pennington, starting my climb to network reality royalty, while promoting Cabbagetown in Atlanta and looking like a tanning bed casualty

I’m Amy Wynn Pastor. When the tool belt came off, I reverted back to a girly girl.

I'm Evan Farmer's moist hungry bussy...

Evan Farmer is now a Daddy, in more ways than one. He's married with two kids.

[quote]Evan Farmer is now a Daddy, in more ways than one. He's married with two kids.

But the mussy still wants what the mussy wants...

[Quote]I remember some show with a beefy redheaded bear where he would stage for sale homes with the female host

R40. I think that was "Sell This House" with Roger Hazard. He and his huge muscle bear husband, Chris Stout-Hazard (seriously, the guy's arms are like tree trunks), own a furniture/design showroom and have their own furniture line. I follow them on social media.

*

I am the wine bottle labels used by Hildi as wallpaper for the couple who don't drink at all (maybe they were alcoholics?).

R82, if you follow Hazard and Stout-Hazard on social media, can you explain to me why Roger thinks that displaying books backwards, so all one sees are the end pages is a worthwhile design?

Has anyone purchased a "made in the USA" couch from these two giant bears? I guess they have items manufactured in Nebraska.

I'm the shitty Commercial Grade Polyurethane foam that Doug would invariably cover with some equally shitty fabric to create a tragically ugly, misshapen sofa or chair.

It looked as horrible and cheap as the materials used to make it.

I'm immediately tossed into the dumpster or repurposed as a dog bed.

An old thread about Roger Hazard introduced me to one of my favorite bitchy phrases.