Do you squabble with family?

Christ, what NOT about. We're all in our 50s and older, yet anytime three or more of us gather together we revert to grade-school level bickering and bullying.

it's why I limit my exposure to them.

I told my grandma to go fuck herself in the woods.

While my fam prides themselves on being progressive, I'm the plaid sheep of the family and they're afraid of me doing or saying things I've never said/done in public, especially formal or reserved situations. They're fine with other people being gay but not having one in the family.

The extended relatives go on for full racial/ethnic pride and I'm more moderate, respecting of all the backgrounds we come from. It's the equivalent of white people thinking their ancestors captain'd the mayflower. so, that kind of hyped up historical revisement leds to some conflicts. Especially as I frequently criticize our govts. And they hysterically panic I'm going to get the entire line stricken from the rolls...or the othe faction that I'm giving fodder to the haters by airing the community's dirty laundry.

And of course, standard sibling rivalry that is amplified by being generations apart, though we all slip into regressive teenage roles along with the stereotypical dysfunctional family roles. . . with parents that are products of their time.

Toss in that despite my numerous flaws and being the youngest, I'm more the responsible middle child that's expected to shoulder the responsibility of taking care of everyone while still sitting at the kiddie table because I didn't pop out a few bastards or develop an addiction, or some other wankster bullshit.

the exended fam are the types to ma'am and sir strangers while rifling through their pocket book once their back is turned or settle down in families with multiple children and ignore their elderly parents. So, my uncouth, crude ass picks up the slack and keeps the rest from relying on them as atm machines because they're easily guilted into providing for them while I'm immune to guilt trips. But yeah, I end up taking that place while forcing them to do chores and needed tasks on the acreage. While having my own moments of self pitying bullshit and regretting ever coming out here ... save for the need to help out my mum.

Never. I am shocked and confused by my Italian friends who live in eternal conflict with their family. We are all unfailingly polite and supportive of one another. Maybe too reserved - but I prefer it that way to the drama families I’ve seen. I don’t understand why families put up with internal squabbling. I guess it depends on the culture.

Far less now that my mom’s dead but I’ve still got one uncle left who can’t resist planting a barb and if you don’t just passively take it you’re guaranteed to find yourself in some idiotic argument.

There’s a mean streak that runs through most of that generation of the family but death is taking ‘em down one by one and that uncle even recently admitted to me that my mom bullied my dad and he bullied his own wife. Like I didn’t know! But I was impressed at his momentary fit of honesty. My mom never achieved that. Never even got close. I’ve mostly just kept the widest possible distance from the whole lot of ‘em.

Not anymore, they're all dead and I'm the one resting in peace.

Nah, fuck em.

Yes my aunt has her nose all the way up my ass

I barely speak to my family. They are racist Connecticut trash. I get the infrequent text from my sister. If any family member even remotely initiated a conversation in which a "squabble" could occur, they would immediately get a "fuck off and die" reply from me. I don't allow those people to enter my headspace, certainly not with a shred of negativity.

No, but then again I am not a child, so I don't squabble with anyone.

Ugh no but I keep my distance. I feel like it makes me a horrible person but I don’t particularly care for my extended family, except for my husband and kids

I fight my ass off

I’ve neither seen nor spoken to my siblings in the 25 years since my Mom died.

Sheer bliss.

Yeah right r13

R11 Do your husband and kids count as "extended family?"

I have two younger brothers, all of us in our 50s, who I really adore. Feel lucky after reading this thread. We dealt with our aging, divorced and poor parents until they each died, and I think that was a good task. Plus there was no inheritance, so that helped.

Rarely, but I'm glad we do on occasion. I couldn't imagine living within the confines of politeness and reserve. That would be like being dead.

What family? After Grandma died, there was no such thing and I told them so. We haven't spoken since.

Also, the squabbling was more like fistfights.

R18 You can’t just drop that here and not provide the details on these family fistfights.

I know you want blackmail material R19, but my family is without shame and has no money so....

Here's just one: one aunt forcibly chopped off the other's hair because the slutty one mentioned aloud the uptight one's past drug taking in front of Uptight's preteen daughter.

And hijinks then ensured like Benny Hill, but more hazardous.

When Uptight boasted to me of this later, I said "how childish. Aren't both of you nearing 40 y.o.?"

*ensued, not ensured

No. I moved 2500 miles away from them to avoid any drama

I have non-existent or minimal contact with family members. Parent's have been dead for 25+ years. Haven't seen or spoken to my older brother & sister since 1995. Don't squabble with my 3 nieces or 6 grand nephews as I rarely see them. Just hear from them in emails and a rare telephone call.