Do you think it's okay not to date a fat person?

Yes. What is not OK is to be cruel to them, in life or on here.

Yes - if you don't find attractive!

Where have you noticed this OP? I'm intrigued.

Of course it is. Trans Inc has been using guilt and shame against gay men for not wanting to date a “man” with a vagina, saying it’s “transphobic”. These accusations are nothing less than coercion. No one is entitled to the time, attention, or body of anyone else.

Exactly R1. We are attracted to what we are attracted to, but no need to be cruel or a jerk about it.

The woman in OP video is basically a fat incel—a fatcel? Being fat is one thing but maybe people are also off-put by her abrasive, entitled personality, clear mental health issues and dreadful fashion sense. Sorry but she did raise the question.

Absolutely. I fucked one guy and his size wasn't an issue in the dark until I came out of his bathroom and saw all his rolls on his side. He looked like the stay puff marshmallow man. So comical.

Never hit it again. Don't get so fucking big people, fuck!

It’s okay to not date anyone for any reason (or no reason at all).

So the decision was win-win, R7.

The idea that anyone is or should be obliged to date, or otherwise enter into a romantic or intimate relationship, with someone they are not attracted to is the essence of rape culture.

[quote] I've noticed more an more fat gays accusing others that won't date them as being "fatphobic."

Well, I AM fatphobic.

You could be eaten - and not in a good way!

Funny how none of these complainers ever want to date anyone who looks exactly like themselves. Aren't they being fatphobic, too?

It's sexual extortion.

I’m reminded of a white guy I knew who said that he couldn’t be a racist because he preferred Black men. By that logic, I argued, all straight men were feminists.

It's okay not to date anyone you have no interest in dating,

But this crazy person on the Internet is making a moral declaration, so it MUST be true!

The whole idea is beyond insane. Let's say you agree to go out on a date, the offer of sex is appriached, and the thinner person says, Sorry. I coukd never orgasm or get hard with you. More feelings are hurt, the rejected one becomes verbally toxic, attempts to rape the other person or gets violent. It's easier just to be rejected before it gets to that point. Imagine if the government tried to force gay men to marry a woman, and on the wedding night, the man either can't get it up or gets nauseated. Anyone who tries to push themselves on someone else without mutual attraction and refuses to take no for an answer really is mentally ill.

You date who you are attracted to - period. Anything else is a waste of time. Rejected people need to accept that and get in where they fit in.

Being gay can be the most fun thing... as long as you aren't fat. Just the reality.

I've had a few encounters with heavyset guys, and it was based on their personality. They were adorable so I enjoyed them regardless of their weight issue. But they were the exception, not the norm for me. I didn't feel like I was being forced to be naked with them.

[quote]Let's say you agree to go out on a date, the offer of sex is appriached, and the thinner person says, Sorry. I coukd never orgasm or get hard with you. More feelings are hurt, the rejected one becomes verbally toxic, attempts to rape the other person or gets violent.

Yeah, that seems likely. Great post!

I’m a fat person. I wouldn’t date me.

If you have to ask you can't afford it lingerie.

There are two basic problems here: one, that people are always putting out videos like this, either because their business is online writing/influencing or because they have some, er, "interesting" mental health issues, and two, that everyone watches these clips or reads the articles and gets sucked into the idea that there really IS a big cultural problem and we need to solve it.

The truth is there is no problem here. Since time began, people have politely declined dating or fucking people they aren't attracted to. Everyone does it. That's how it works.

I'm one of the great big fat people who is also attracted to great big fat people and, frequently, they are not at all interested in me. I saw a comic once who said "I'm fat, I don't want to date a fat person, one of us has to be able to see our own junk, that's my rule." That's valid. I'm not going to get mad about it and I'm not going to get sucked into whatever this nutty woman has said about it, either.

R20, fat or old

It should be illegal for fat people to date.

Attractive fat women can get plenty of dick.

I'm fat and I won't date another fat person. I know that sounds weird, but I've struggled my entire life to lose weight and keep it off and it always comes back. Dating another fat person would be like dating an enabler and I just can't do that to myself. Plus, I don't find fat people attractive. So I stay single because I got the message that fat folks are unworthy of being loved. But I feel for anyone who is overweight because I understand the futile struggle.

Like R27, who if there was a hell, would be in it after everyone she's ever met greets the news of her passing with a sigh of relief.

Are we talking just a fat person, or are we talking a great big fat person? There is a difference.

Most fat people date and marry other fat people and they tend to have fat kids. I don't think it's hard for anyone to find a partner if you lower your expectations. The issue is social media raised everyone to have high expectations and a sense of entitlement. People are delusional about their desirability.

Sexual attraction is not discrimination - at the same time men should be more open-minded. The most beautiful looking person could be a jack-ass, while someone overweight might be the best husband you might never have. But because you are limiting yourself you will never know what you might have missed,

So while you have every right to be choosy on who you date/fuck - you are limiting yourself to other possibilities.

Keep that in mind, and perhaps start being more open-minded. But if you are determined to limit yourself to a certain set of Parameters, ten years might fly by and you find yourself still single.

Only you can decide what is best for you.

That doesn't just apply to fat people, R32.

There are few creatures more ruthless or picky than a moderately attractive middle aged gay man.

R33, you can't make yourself sexually attracted to someone. Open-minded does not equate to a hard-dick or turn-on.

[quote] you can't make yourself sexually attracted to someone. Open-minded does not equate to a hard-dick or turn-on.

You are talking a hook-up not a long-term relationship

Sexual attraction is important in a LTR also.

Chemistry is a big part of it. I've never understood May December couplings but I've absolutely seen a few that are rock solid. And you couldn't pay me to go to bed with a hard bodied 70 year old.

The heart wants what it wants, and if it doesn’t want fat (which is perfectly understandable), more power to it. No one gets a guarantee that someone will find them attractive.

Men's sexuality is not like women's. Women seem more flexible in overlooking physical shortcomings in favor of a pleasant and reliable personality. Men are more visual and have more discriminatory tastes in what they are sexually attracted to. If a guy isn't interested visually at first he most likely will not be interested even after finding out that ugly or fat person is an awesome person. They will likely be friends but that relationship will be platonic. While I've met women who said they grew more sexually attracted to a person after getting to know them. That's why there are ugly men with beautiful women but rarely beautiful men with ugly women.

But the gay male community's perception of what "fat" is is insane. If you don't work out five times a week and have a 31" waist at the most, you are branded as fat. And yes, someone here will inevitably chime in that I "type fat." Fine. I remember being in college and being told by a guy that I was really into that I would be the perfect boyfriend if I weren't fat. I was about 10 pounds overweight. I was hardly obese. But the way he said it, I felt like Orca. It was horrible and hurtful. Since then I have learned that this is very common among gay men. If you're not perfect, you're a whale. Gay men's views on weight are unrealistic.

No one should be under pressure to date anyone they don't want.

I do wish there were a more solid definition of "fat". It's used to describe someone with a slight paunch to people who are morbidly obese and cannot even move.

I'll be honest, finding this site was one of the worst things to happen to my perception of my worth as a gay man. I'm cool with me as a person, though.

The least of that fat chick's problem is her fat.

I have no interest in dating women. I guess that makes me misogynistic.

Ain't gon fuck a fat fuck.

Some big guys can look attractive like Jack Black. But it really depends on the person. Obesity is a sign of poor health and poor impulse control and we're wired to find physical fitness and discipline attractive.

R47- What about the Super Morbidly Obese Chasers?

fat cunts need love, too. but they gotta pay

Fat people are like mopeds. Fun to ride, but nobody wants to be seen on one.

If you're not attracted to fat people then don't date them. Fat fucking idiots should stop crying about it and either accept their bodies and those who appreciate them or figure themselves out and loose the weight.

I'm a pretty hefty though solid guy but I know many don't find me attractive and I don't care because there are plenty who do. I've certainly heard my share of insults about it but I don't think anyone is obligated to be interested in me regardless of my weight.

I am a fat chick who would not date a FAT guy. I am not talking about a chubby or dad bod guy, I mean a fat guy. I am super creeped out with the recent thoughts on everyone needs to be available to date everyone else. rape culture dressed up as progress.

No one is entitled to another person’s sexual or romantic interest, but people shouldn’t be dehumanizing others simply for not being their type. This is a result of individuals increasingly relying on external validation to feel better about themselves instead of finding strength and empowerment from within. If you don’t give a damn what a stranger thinks of you because you know their opinion is irrelevant, you don’t immediately fall apart because they say something critical about you. We, women especially, are falling way back into archaic gender stereotypes and with that comes the mentality that a woman’s self worth is dictated by her sexual desirability. People reduce themselves to such small aspects of their human experience and then act shocked that others only see and judge them through those lenses.

omgoodness I hadn't read the entire thread when I commented and didn't mean to essentially say the exact same thing Elderlez said.

This obsession with telling other people who it is or isn't OK to date is exhausting. If people don't want to date someone they shouldn't. Telling them that they should is just going to make everyone miserable.

Why would anyone be in a relationship where either side clearly doesn't want to be there?

[quote]or figure themselves out and loose the weight.

Oh, dear. All that loose fat.

You are obligated to date fat FTM trans but not cis-men if they are fat.

There's one fat man I wish I had not dated.

The entitlement is just off the scale! Like people OWE IT TO YOU to be attracted to you even if you look like Jabba the Hutt. Work on yourself, girl, make yourself someone worth dating —and I’m not even talking to your body, but rather your sucky personality.

My best BF ever was fat. He eventually lost the weight, but him being overweight did NOT stop me from falling in love with him, HARD.

The guy was brilliant, made six figures annually, and was AMAZING in the sack. I just loved how smart he was and we could discuss any topic without fighting. He was also a conservative, which I was not and still am not. Republicans were different back then, ya know?

Unfortunately, he was also my boss, and things got really rocky in the office, as I was despised by almost every single frau in the workplace, for being their boss’ girlfriend. Our relationship did survive it for a while, but obviously not forever, which is why he is my ex.

So yes, OP, it’s OK to date whomever you’re attracted to. Never say never to a fat, handsome, smart and funny guy. Weight loss is real, and can be encouraged, but you can’t fix stupid, boring, or mean spirited folks.

[quote]Like people OWE IT TO YOU to be attracted to you even if you look like Jabba the Hutt. Work on yourself, girl, make yourself someone worth dating

It's a two-way street: you don't owe it to her to be attractive, but she doesn't owe it to YOU to be attractive, either.

Dataloungers have a really fucking hard time with this concept. They will bitch and whine and moan and grouse about how others don't do things exactly the way they should be done, but if the tables are turned and someone so much as rolls their eyes at them in a supermarket, they start crying hot angry tears of rage.

[quote]Republicans were different back then, ya know?

They weren't. Unless you're talking about pre-1880s Republicans, they were the same as they are now. You just didn't give a fuck.

[quote]if the tables are turned and someone so much as rolls their eyes at them in a supermarket, they start crying hot angry tears of rage.

No I don't. I just won't have sex with a fat guy.

I could see fat lesbians whining

but gay chubs have the chaser scene.

^same

R63, I gave a fuck. Still do. However, if I meet a really decent dude who I connect with, I’m not going to rule him out for being a conservative, or overweight.

I generally get along with just about anyone who isn’t a belligerent asshole, which is an asset. I’m not a snob, nor am I a raging bitch.

If you’re genuinely good peeps? I’m good.

This is a democracy, and while I strongly dislike what the GOP is today, and even despise it, I still believe that as an American, one is allowed to be conservative or liberal, and I’m not going to mistreat those who aren’t the exact version of myself.

Of course it’s ok not to date someone who is fat. What is not ok, is to not want to spend time with, hang out, do stuff, be friends with a guy because he’s fat. There is dating, with all its romantic possibilities, and then there are activities with platonic friends.

What a silly question. I date or don’t date someone for reasons that are legitimate because they are only my concern. I don’t base my spending time with people on what kind of company others think I should keep. Never.

Fat guy over 50 here. Happily married to a former model from South America. Yep, I landed that.

Why? Because I'm fun, I'm successful (well-educated and well-traveled) and I'm cute. My attractiveness is not based solely on my waistline, something I wish I'd realized when I was younger.

Do I need to lose weight? Yes. It's been a lifelong struggle that will never end until I do. I work out, I eat decently, I walk everywhere (minimum of five miles most days). But the pounds maintain their merciless grip.

All that said... No one should feel forced or obligated to date anyone they don't want to, period. Dating is very personal. It's absolutely okay not to date anyone you don't want to. And that means fat people too. And hell, when I was dating the last thing in the world I'd have wanted is someone to go out with me who was obligated to do so. HELL TO THE NO.

Pointless question. You want to fuck the people you want to fuck and you don't want to fuck the people you don't want to fuck. It can't be faked or forced or manufactured.*

As someone who once weighed 260, and who is at the most 165 now I got more tail- more straight tail too-at 260. I couldn’t get tail now if I wanted to.. And now I am healthier, I take better care of my skin, stopped drinking, and stopped hanging around negative, damaged people. So my life is better now, but as a fat guy I never had to worry about getting laid. I agree with R54. You have to validated from the inside out. Whatever sex I have loss is worth it to be a healthy person .

I can’t stand looking at fat guys. Well, fat anything, really. I don’t mean like Jack Black, I mean obese fat fucks. Thank you.

Jack Black IS obese.

You’re right, r74. I hadn’t realized how huge Black had gotten. I was thinking more like this era JB.

Between that thing in her nose and her voice, I wouldn’t come down on anyone who wouldn’t date her.

Absolutely you don't have to date anyone you're not attracted to. But don't go bitching about how lonely you are either when you refuse to lower your standards. That's the other side of that coin. Getting tired of hearing fat ugly or unhygienic men lamenting their loneliness.