Let's be Gen Z fighting World War III!

Let's be old, out-of-touch Republicans like OP!

I'm a Middlebury freshman who's triggered by the lack of trans POC in the officer corps.

I'm the 18 year old expecting a promotion after a month.

If they can dance while actually getting off of their fucking couches and engage in patriotism unlike OP then I say go for it

I'm the Only Fans streaming from the army barracks.

I'm an Army public affairs officer battling against cis-centered war coverage.

I'm live-streaming my Predator drone footage on Twitch.

I'm the eastern liberal arts coeds who are shocked that they couldn't just cancel Russia.

I'm the avocado toast in the M Rations. They are now M rations because people were triggered by the letter "K."

I'm the literal violence!

They’ll just protest the war

I’m Caleb, a 19 year old Bennington sophomore, who comments the word “iconic” on Zelensky’s latest IG post and later becomes hysterical while texting with his GenX mother, asking her repeatedly, “Will I be drafted?!”

I’m the constantly changing pronouns, literal violence!

OP, if it wasn't for no class you wouldn't have any at all.

I'm the indignant undergrad who will inspire a 300-post DL thread after complaining in an op-ed that a straight man was sent to repair my howitzer (and he didn't even provide an exact time of arrival!).

I'm searching for Pokemon rather than the enemy.

I’m pussy riot

Gen z are nothing but priss pot bitches, they'd be dead in hours and we'd lose the war quickly.

I'm the eldergays posting on this thread, none of whom saw military service, all of whom would faint at the sight of an enemy soldier

To the Commanding Officer: "Okay Boomer!"

Just grateful I’ve aged out of the draft. But let’s get serious - Gen Z is not going to war. It’s the reality. Even Russian Gen Zs are flaking it seems.

I don' think it's just Gen Z. There are plenty of people of all ages who have the Ukraine flag in their Twitter profile now, posting memes and photos of Zelenskiy with some inspirational platitude underneath but who'd never, ever think of spending 10 minutes online researching where they could donate some money, canned goods, or what have you, to their local Ukrainian organization or church. Even $20 could mean a lot to some poor family stuck in what's basically a refugee camp in Eastern Europe, while retweets and likes won't help them at all.

I'm the black, Mexican, and poor white Gen Z youth who would be the actual boots on the ground if this escalates. Twitter has written so much about me over the past five years.

Same as it ever was.

I can't read the enemies notes because they're written in cursive.

I'm the Chinese government tracking their movements on TikTok.

I'm triggered!

I'm the tide pod capsules they're supposed to eat if captured by the enemy

I'm the inevitable loss.

I'm the millennial zaddy Lieutenant-Commander.

I love the image of this !

I'm the rainbow bootcamp flag.

America only sends the poor kids to war in the past 50 years. Another notch in the belt of the steady progress towards aristocracy.

Stale propaganda, R32. Boo hoo hoo. You type rich champagne socialist. And bumper stickers about real causes.

I'm the tears!

I'm the open showers

Send them to Ukraine!

I'm Mommy calling the CO to demand that Brayden be excused from fighting.

I'm upset that the training classes don't include puppy and kitten videos.

I'm the draft that should include all the Gen Z females

I’m a pink-haired, demisexual transgay who to xir horror realises that not only xe won’t be exempt from draft, but will actually have a greater change of being drafted in the name of diversity and inclusivity,

I’m the pacifist.

I'm the Private Benjamin reboot of the ultimate soldier, the army of one, the queen bey boss, that has been fighting against the patriarchy my entire life from the plush comforts of my boyfriend's parents' home but when a navy recruiter offered me a chance to fight for my country and pay off my student loan debt, I started a campaign to save young women from the hypermasculinization of the military that was turning them into trannies and erasing lesbian identities!

I'm the confusion around defending and supporting white people.

I'm their non-binary uniforms.

I’m the gluten free mess hall.

I'm the literal violence that occurs when the general won't marry me. I have to avoid active duty somehow.

I'm the one attending my West Point graduation with a Che Guevara t-shirt and a communism will win hat.

I’m the killed vibe.

I'm the clueless expression as smart-ass banter is lobbied in my direction and I realize I have no idea how to parry. I panic, looking around for any available phone so I can start looking up memes.

I'm the lack of safe spaces.

I'm the guns with the wrong king of trigger.

What are nukes?

I'm wondering why we have to get up so early if the enemy is at 2 o'clock

I'm the crayon being used for colouring books rather than dinner

I'm all the old timey videos Gen Z will be watching because they're even more relevant now than decades prior

I'm Bea Arthur, Sally Kellerman and Nell Carter rolling over in their graves at even the thought of recruits today....

Not even the Russian Gen Zs want to fight this stupid war

I'm the concept of a Cold War that they weren't around for and don't even understand.

Agree about most gen z but there are plenty of young, red-blooded men who would kick someone's ass brutally if given half a chance. They all grew up killing in video games. The screens soldiers operate from in combat aren't much different. Unleash these Twitch warriors and let them get a real taste.

r61 except they can never activate god mode.

I'm in IKEA looking for a stand, to send to Ukraine.

There are actual vids of it on tik tok, gen z soldiers filming themselves during war and adding music to it.

Eta : Russian and Ukrainian gen z soldiers, the sad part is when some of these accs don’t update after a few days which means they were either captured or died.

Selfie in front of the mushroom cloud!

I'm the abs lookin' "snatched" after basic training!

I'm the wondering what address to give to Amazon Prime so my sustainable toothbrush can be delivered to the trenches at the front

I'm the stinky feet and unclean holes.

I'm the anti-tank road defences, mistaken for outdoor art, pictured in the setting sun and creating a sick industrial aesthetic perfect for Instagram

I'm Braedyn taking a selfie licking a land mine

I'm here, furiously fighting the enemy, like this

I'm the protest after being told to get "nuts to butts" rather than shower and suggesting they save their baby batter until the night before laundry.

I'm the female units' bathroom with used pads everywhere but in the trash and a massive shit on the shower floor.

I'm the bag of THC gummies that are given to the enemy to calm them down and hopefully make them stop shooting us!

I'm the friends that disowned them the moment they chose to enlist rather than wait to be drafted

I'm the snarky comments under the most recent docuemntary about Gen Z at bootcamp because if you haven't ever experienced it yourself, you can go look up older vids of boot and see how laughable it is in comparison.

I'm also all the "omg why are they shouting at them", "it's so toxic", "America was never great," "stop the imperialist war machine" comments from triggered the Zzzs

R61 how tidy is your steak knife drawer, exactly?

I’m the safe space coordinator with fifty pronouns and chastising both Ukraine and Russia for their misogynistic war on trans bears.

I'm the "safe space" pod set up at the battle sites so that soldiers can decompress. Therapists are available via installed iPads with Zoom.

I'm the young people visiting their local recruitment office. Blogging about being a soldier is going to get me a lot of likes over the next few years.

I'm the two headed baby. I'm not a minority...

r68

I'm the regret at identifying as male when I get drafted.

r84 is that even for real or are they just playing military dressup?

The other soldiers would probably make mincemeat out of American Gen Z

r86 as far as I know, they're real.

impersonators (unless specifically mentioning it) usually get dragged by everyone.

Though it's kind of unreal... it USED to be you got reports for having visible identifiers.. military be stalking social media and hookup apps hard even as little back as 2016. But all the mofo changes recently, even cam ho vets are astounded by all this shit.

Liz Hurley has a vagina of doom.

I'm the floaties that all the Z naval recruits now use to pass boot

I'm the 20 minute, morally narcissistic speech denouncing my White Privilege upon being captured, before I'm riddled with bullets by Russian soldiers who have an undeconstructed belief in what and who they are.

I’m the daily broadcast of the national casualty list of dead-named soldiers.

I'm the disgust that shown when I realize that the food we are being fed in the POW camp it's neither vegan or gluten-free

I'm literally dead.

I'm the trans prisoner of war the Russians set free. I didn't stop talking about Joan Didion and the damage she did to Madonna, even during that brutal interrogation when they asked was I born male or female and I just broke down. But Joan really hurt Madonna! And the soldiers needed to hear about it!

Their CO was very nice when he let me go. He gave me his mother's recipe for borscht.

I'm the $80 000 rainbow crosswalk that meant to stop both tanks and microaggressions.

It failed on both.

I am the mental breakdown result from the enemy addressing me as "she/her" instead of "they/them" through twitter.

I am the combination of Southern white good old boy Trump supporters, urban Black men, and Hispanic working class guys who Will actually save us if there was a land war. I get smeared, mocked, and dissected for toxic masculinity by Gen Z media and Twitter upon my return.

I am the revealing my country's battle strategies through selfie in our base, or boardcasting it through twitter because I need the ATTENTION.

I'm the stolen valor of all those identifying as veterans.

I'm the formerly fat feminist that lost weight and started getting a toned bod that has been interviewed everywhere about how the military sexualizes women instead of becoming a gun bunny or thirst trap like a real patriot would do!

This thread is not funny. Keep laughing while soldiers are murdered by the Russians,

I spot the Gen Z at R102!

Humor helps in dark times.

I'm the word LIT which has taken on a whole nother meaning!

I’m looking for a selfie-filter that makes me look more lively and the corpses in the background more corps-y.

I'm the rubble of the nuclear wasteland. Amongst me sit a group of white women, their hair now permanently dyed varying shades of purple, green and bald, who tell in hushed tones how the first bomb was thrown by a trans woman of color.

I'm the 20-year-old asking for an ADA accommodation because I have ADD and cannot fire a gun and March at the same time.

I'm the Z-list Kardashian who averts nuclear holocaust at the last minute by offering both armies a Pepsi.

I knew a recruit in basic who couldn't do jumping jacks. He was a Harvard-genius drop out. There wasn't a hat big enough for his head, I also remember.

I'm the 18 year old sraight male TikToker who wants to wear dangly earrings, nail polish and pearls with his fatigues.

"I'm gonna dip, this war shit is hella sus dude."

[quote] I'm the Tik Tok video of soldiers dancing at Chernobyl

I'm the Chinese government perched atop a proverbial mountain lair and using AI to analyze all intel from TikTok.

"Where's my safe space?!"

Don't you woke cancel my safe space snowflake nowwww

Will they take Huddy?

"My phone reception out here sucks!"

Fighting? These pussies need safe spaces.

I need to take my hormones!!!

I'm transitioning! Stop shooting at me!

"War makes me anxious!"

"War! Patriarchy! MAGA hat! Aaaagh!!!!"

I'm the decrepit baby boomers counting the millions we're going to rake in as we precariously cling onto life, thanks to this war.

We know that this war will destroy the world, but we only care about being able to buy yet another mansion or several investment properties. As for our Gen-X children and our Millennial and Gen-Z grandchildren, they'll be fine in the luxury bunker we bought twenty years ago.

I'm Private Hannah Gutierrez Reed reporting for duty! I know my way around a gun or two

I'm the crushing boredom.

"There's nothing to do here!"

I'm your new Ukrainian daughter in law! I will take care of you when you're old, give you grandchildren and not get fat.

The spoiled unattractive American women on Twitter are trying to figure out how to cancel me.

I'm the "Oh my god! Real war isn't the same as a video game simulation! Aaaagh!!! Safe space! SAFE SPACE!!!"

Life imitates DL thread.

Gen Z (scrutinizing the military uniform): "Is this fast fashion.? Are these fabrics sustainable? Fair trade? Show me some options because I'm not wearing this mess."

[quote] The Army hoped to bring in about 76,500 new soldiers this year,” reported the New York Times last September. “But with the fiscal year ending this month, it is still 6,500 troops short, even after spending an extra $200 million on bonuses and lowering standards to let in more troops with conduct or health issues.”

[quote] While lowering standards may seem like a desperation move, it’s worth taking a moment to consider some of the existing standards in the context of Gen Z’s values.

I'm the frazzled drill sergeant.

I’m the army emergency kit filled with spare chargers.

I'm the combat robot being frantically developed.

I'm the 'For Every Recruit You Refer, You Get a Free iphone and Two Free Years of Spotify!" offer.

[quote]I'm the Chinese government tracking their movements on TikTok.

You are a true Oracle.

This is how China is helping Russia, by letting Russia borrow intel from Ukrainian tiktok users.

I have said this for many years. Do not use any apps coming from Europe (Russia and friends) or Asia (Tiktok/Games).

I’m the NFT of the remains of a fallen soldier buried in Arlington National Cemetery’s metaverse equivalent.

bump

There would be so many deaths.

You don't say.

I'm the compassion.

Instead of bullet and missile, Russia is using speakerphone to boardcast hate speech such as, "there is huge biological difference between a man and a woman", and "you have to have a real vagina to be a woman". And gen Z will rush back to their safe space and handed victory to them.

Is boardcast the new bearking?

I think they used waterboardcasting in Guantanamo didn't they?

I'm the rolling of the eyes I do every time the drill sergeant turns his back on me.

I'm Braedyn getting hogtied by Syrian mercenaries!

I'm the sniper, about to shoot Braedyn's kidnappers for misgendering XIR!!

“Hi! I’m hiding in the third trench from the exploded tank with the mutilated bodies. I’d like to order a pretzel with a frappuccino.”

I'm the attempt to "just talk it out" that falls on deaf ears.

I'm the Literal Violence replaced by literal violence.

Don’t know whether to laugh or cry at this thread. It makes me want to do both.

I am boycotting the war because there isn't enough people of color in the battlefield.

R148, I'm the expression on the Uber driver's face who risked their life to deliver it. I didn't even get a fucking tip.

I'm willing to fight this war to the last Boomer!

This trench better have avocado toast

I'm the boundaries stated.

I'm the, "Can I get this camo in a unisex?"

I'm the toddler-level tantrums regularly thrown when they realize that bullets actually hurt significantly more than words.

I’m an Instagram account that specialises in the latest and hottest funeral trends.

I'm the delusion that this desert war is all a buncha Burning Man cosplay.

I'm their mothers, accompanying them on the front line.

I'm the American university organizing an anti-America war protest back home (to the delight of the enemy.)

R161 Before we were their mothers, we were their fathers.

Non-binary, vegan, celiac disease, Wiccan, sovereign citizen, sexually fluid and Aspergers here!

I'm the frantic searching for a report button after the first guns are fired.

I'm the changing of the genders throughout the day.

I'm XirElyn, complaining to the CO that xi's cammo pants have a fly. Xi is depply offended and insists on speaking to a manager. After being told there are no managers and ordered to return to the mess hall, xi is killed by a stray missle that turns out to be friendly fire. XirElyn's pronoun fluid Facebook friends and Twitter followers hold a non binary vigiil that's livestreamed by the enemy.

I'm Gen Z, learning to spell it "Chornobyl."

The Simpson said this about Gen Xers, so Gen Z is fair game!!

Eww, they're so old already.