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Gays who are very attractive to WOMEN

Do You know anything about this phenomena? Has it been your experience?

The Tab Hunter story was very much about this though they didn't actually name it.

by Anonymousreply 94January 28, 2023 5:25 PM

Usually to teen girls . Pretty boys

by Anonymousreply 1March 2, 2022 2:31 AM

I think 2/3rds of every hardcore celebrity crush I have ever had has later been pointed out as gay or likely gay. I don't think I intentionally like gay guys because in real life no one I have been attracted to ever came out as gay.

Joe Penny

Brian Bloom

Michael T Weiss etc.

by Anonymousreply 2March 2, 2022 2:48 AM

Geez - Story of my girlhood! - Luke Spencer (not Tony Geary - but Luke) circa 1979,80, 81 - I understudied Louise in Carousel with Terry Lester playing Billy Bigelow - I had a mad hot 14 year old girl burning hot crush on him. George Chakiris, John Dye, Van Johnson, George Michael, Robert Wagner, Father Ralph and sadly Kevin Spacey circa LA Confidential. And yes - I loved Joe Penny, too - remember “The Operation” with Lisa Hartman?

by Anonymousreply 3March 2, 2022 3:06 AM

Joe Penny is gay?

by Anonymousreply 4March 2, 2022 3:12 AM

Mean attractive people are attractive people. You don't have to have them to want them.

by Anonymousreply 5March 2, 2022 4:28 AM

There was a big fandom for Clay aiken, Adam Lambert and Chris Colfer back in the day. I’m not even joking.

by Anonymousreply 6March 2, 2022 4:52 AM

The Chris Colfer fangirls during Glee's run were awful and entitled whiners who defended his crappy books and the crappy indie movie to no end.

by Anonymousreply 7March 2, 2022 4:55 AM

R6 If you can really sing, you don't have to be attractive to be attractive.

And, I remember watching a grown woman crying in a supermarket reading his People interview. She kept saying but he was perfect.

by Anonymousreply 8March 2, 2022 4:46 PM

All of them, that aren't queens.

And some that are!

by Anonymousreply 9March 4, 2022 7:41 AM

Come on, man! What's to wonder, when it comes to men like Ricky Martin, Montgomery Clift (even if only in movies), Richard Chamberlain, George Michael, etc.?! Good-looking is good-looking!

And it's all fantasy anyway, be the infatuated a gay male or a straight female.

by Anonymousreply 10March 4, 2022 7:53 AM

Fraus (not teen girls) love Hugh Jackman to this day and won't hear a word about his being gay. Likewise George Clooney. The same women would have loved Cary Grant and Rock Hudson in bygone times.

Tom Cruise would probably be in the same category if he hadn't allowed fraus to regard him as a loon.

by Anonymousreply 11March 4, 2022 7:54 AM

Gay men are more likely to have better hygiene, dress better and talk to a woman normally instead of seeing her as a sex object.

by Anonymousreply 12March 4, 2022 8:23 AM

I wasn't asking about stupid fucking movie stars are was asking about personal experiences of this. Sorry I should have been clearer.

by Anonymousreply 13March 4, 2022 9:28 AM

** I was asking about personal experiences of this.

oh, dear...what a mess!

by Anonymousreply 14March 4, 2022 9:29 AM

That was how I read your post, OP.. but DL is obsessed with celebs.

by Anonymousreply 15March 4, 2022 9:31 AM

why would anyone else care that tween girls were raving on their own personal non-celebrity twink though.

we aren't gossiping in a small town bar, or church about people we don't know at all.

by Anonymousreply 16March 4, 2022 4:32 PM

OK, OP... since that's the thrilling news you want... well, all of the women in my office are just MAD about Danny! But he's a BIG QUEEN and married to a male anesthesiologist!

by Anonymousreply 17March 4, 2022 4:45 PM

But what do they make of YOU, R17?

by Anonymousreply 18March 4, 2022 5:24 PM

OP, Unless the reader knows what the "Tab Hunter" anecdote is about, your intent was not clear.


by Anonymousreply 19March 4, 2022 6:29 PM

What a weird thread! OP really needs to work on his communication skills.

by Anonymousreply 20March 4, 2022 7:27 PM

Women love men who don't want them. Gay guys too.

by Anonymousreply 21March 4, 2022 8:13 PM

WHET Michael T. Weiss? Is he some hippie sugar daddy or something?

by Anonymousreply 22March 5, 2022 2:55 AM

Why would OP object to us talking about celebrities when his own example was a celebrity?

by Anonymousreply 23March 5, 2022 3:04 AM

Yeah, I used to do a lot of casting. Models in and out of the office all day long, everyone totally cool. However one day a sandy blond square jawed hunk turned up, and for some reason, every ovary in the office began rattling like a castanet. The women went crazy: they even piled up at the window to see him walking back to his car in the carpark. I thought he was straight but bumped into him in a gay bar a year later. A very down to earth, very handsome lad you'd never pick in a million years as gay. But I couldn't see what it was about him that had flipped the switch on all those women. A mystery.

by Anonymousreply 24March 5, 2022 3:19 AM

[quote] But I couldn't see what it was about him that had flipped the switch on all those women. A mystery

If I had to take a guess...

[quote] However one day a sandy blond square jawed hunk turned up

by Anonymousreply 25March 5, 2022 3:29 AM

[quote]Why would OP object to us talking about celebrities when his own example was a celebrity?

I don't object but I thought at least a few people might talk of their own experience of this. How they deal with it. I didn't think it was such a rare phenomenon.

by Anonymousreply 26March 5, 2022 3:36 AM

Most look like they bathe and typically don't overtly ooze toxic masculinity. That's about 80% of the battle.

by Anonymousreply 27March 5, 2022 3:37 AM

[quote]Most look like they bathe and typically don't overtly ooze toxic masculinity.

that doesn't make someone "very attractive" -it makes them acceptable and who's talking about most?

by Anonymousreply 28March 5, 2022 3:42 AM

[quote] I don't object but I thought at least a few people might talk of their own experience of this. How they deal with it. I didn't think it was such a rare phenomenon.

I didn't realize you wanted personal experiences. It isn't me, sadly, since I'm bi. But, there was this very hot guy I went to a summer camp with in high school and all the girls were crazy for him and kept trying to get him alone the entire time we were there. They didn't know we were sucking each other off the whole time.

by Anonymousreply 29March 5, 2022 3:58 AM

R24 I've seen that reaction myself. A classmate's brother (also blond and square-jawed) walked in at the end of the year and most of the women seemed to react like that. Never seen anything like it before. I looked at my classmate and she said 'yes, this always happens'. No idea if he's gay though. I personally couldn't really see what made the women flip though.. he didn't seem extra-special to me.

by Anonymousreply 30March 5, 2022 5:05 AM

[quote]I personally couldn't really see what made the women flip though.. he didn't seem extra-special to me.

~What appeals to str8 women about a man and what appeals to gay men is a continent apart.

by Anonymousreply 31March 5, 2022 10:20 AM

Okay, OP.

Summer before college, several of us girls were nuts about our friend Alex, who was cute but more so incredibly witty and funny and charismatic. We would assess our days at the pool on the basis of whether or not Alex showed up. He was pals with another of our group friends, I'll call him Bob. We girls even signed our yearbooks to each other with "Good luck in winning" Alex. Jealousy abounded when he spoke to one of us on any given day.

Alex and "Bob," we later learned, were, and are, gay.

by Anonymousreply 32March 5, 2022 11:19 AM

Andrew Scott, for some mysterious reason.

by Anonymousreply 33March 5, 2022 11:27 AM

Ricky Martin is very attractive to women.

by Anonymousreply 34March 5, 2022 11:31 AM


And while women like guys to “protect” them, they don’t realize the power of a few pissed off gays.

by Anonymousreply 35March 5, 2022 11:33 AM

[quote]Joe Penny is gay?

No, he's not.

by Anonymousreply 36March 5, 2022 11:39 AM

I am a lady and am attracted to men. That is the way it is suppose to be.

by Anonymousreply 37March 5, 2022 12:00 PM

This is an interesting subject that got stupid really fast.

Anyway, yes, I find--as I get older--women notice me. Appraising looks. I imagine most of them are widows or divorcees. There are lots of women out there who have been through the mill and are now looking for company. Doesn't every older gay man who's at all presentable have this experience?

by Anonymousreply 38March 5, 2022 12:08 PM

The unattainable is always more attractive...the challenge of the chase. Usually, when the prize has been caught....the interest wanes. Gay men take better care of themselves, keep in shape and dress better...and have better hygiene. So...the physical impact of being attractive is instant.

by Anonymousreply 39March 5, 2022 12:25 PM

Dan Levy’s fan base is women. Straight women. Lesbians. They can’t get enough of him. They think he’s sexy AF.

Women also go WILD for Matt Bomer. He’s distinguishable from Levy because he’s actually beautiful (controversial opinion on DL but he really is). That being said, his fan base is more women than gay men - the fraus slide off their chairs for him en masse.

by Anonymousreply 40March 5, 2022 12:39 PM

Women are attracted to good looks and gay men tend to be meticulous about their looks. But most women I know will just regard them as girlfriends once they find out they're gay or have feminine mannerisms. It's also the fear of AIDS or getting some STD when you find out they're gay. . Most women do not want to be left for a man.

It's the really private mysterious ones who guard their private life that women are attracted to, not the openly gay ones.

by Anonymousreply 41March 5, 2022 12:42 PM

Dan Levy's father, Eugene, is quite good looking...even handsome. Although, he usually plays goofball characters.

by Anonymousreply 42March 5, 2022 12:45 PM

I am gay, but if I was straight I could do very well with women. For some reason I’ve always had women way above my league come onto me. I am certainly not an overly confident person, especially regarding my looks, but I know that if I was straight I could easily date really attractive women. Sadly the same isn’t true with guys…

by Anonymousreply 43March 5, 2022 5:24 PM

I know two gay women who have crushes on bomer

by Anonymousreply 44March 5, 2022 5:28 PM

Finally, @ R43 we get a personal experience of this.

by Anonymousreply 45March 5, 2022 5:42 PM

Oh my god OP ffs this “phenomena” is not that deep.

Emotionally available and attractive gay men with a sense of humor (a trifecta which is more in common among gay men than straight men)… why wouldn’t a woman be into that? Encountering a man who is attractive AND could be your best friend and not sit silently watching football and ignoring you? Sign the fraus up. They love that shit. AND their standards for attractiveness are lower than ours. AND their need for sex is lower than ours. It’s a perfect storm for unrequited crushes/love. Fag hag PLUS.

I’m unclear on why you don’t understand this? Do you find gay men so repulsive that you can’t imagine women being into us? That’s the real question here. I would say 90% of us have had our female friends develop crushes at some point in our lives.

by Anonymousreply 46March 5, 2022 6:17 PM

[quote]I’m unclear on why you don’t understand this? Do you find gay men so repulsive that you can’t imagine women being into us?

^^ That's YOUR mind revealing itself.

by Anonymousreply 47March 5, 2022 6:25 PM

No it’s not. Perhaps I worded it wrong but I’m asking why you are mystified by women being attracted to gay men. We are (often attractive) men. They are straight women. Unless you think they find us repulsive because we are gay - why wouldn’t some women be attracted to gay men? Do you think we repel them because of our sexuality?

by Anonymousreply 48March 5, 2022 6:30 PM

Repulsed mystified...bullshit. Fuck off. You're nasty AND stupid. I won't respond to you anymore.

by Anonymousreply 49March 5, 2022 6:43 PM

R24 here. No, it's not just because he was a square jawed sandy blond hunk. We had incredibly handsome male models walking in and out of the office regularly, some of the same genre. I can only put to it down to him having some 'It' factor, or the fact he so strongly masculine, with rough skin. I think he was a surfer. Maybe it was because despite his beauty, it looked like he didn't fuss over it. Nothing wrong with looking spruce, but nothing's a bigger turn off than men who look preened. Ironically, there was another blond blue hunk who came to casting who strongly turned off the women. He was also gay, and while completely masculine, had a kittenish aspect about him – I think that was it. I thought him adorable, and incredible looking, as if a Swiss watchmaker had sculptured his features, but it was a huge NO from the women in the room. There was another Belgium guy who turned up with a group of Italian models who was so mind-blowingly beautiful it was impossible to cast him: he would have just overshadowed everything. He wasn't scoring gigs because of it. I know it sounds crazy, but if you'd have seen him, you'd have understood. He had a unearthly genderless sci-fi beauty. That was then: now of course, he'd probably be in demand!

by Anonymousreply 50March 6, 2022 4:33 AM

[quote]'It' factor, or the fact he so strongly masculine, with rough skin

Gays don't like that at all - they'd run screaming.

[quote] think he was a surfer. Maybe it was because despite his beauty, it looked like he didn't fuss over it.

Gays like the fussed over look and their guys very groomed, plucked, scrubbed, shaved everywhere.

by Anonymousreply 51March 6, 2022 7:23 AM

Teen Girls = Boy next door type (not sexually threatening) or Jocks for the prom.

College = Bad Boys and alternative types such as musicians.

Late 20's-30's = Boring Bland Husband Material (often not attractive or sexy but with good careers for baby momas with divorce and child support always on the back of the mind) Dad bods are typical.

40's - Any guy into Cougars - primal desperate sexual needs set in, especially after recent divorce.

50's-60's = Rich, ugly old men, all about gold digging and a life without having to work for a living. Often excuse given as just looking out for their future. The older the better, don't really want to have sex with the guy, just want his money after he kicks the bucket.

by Anonymousreply 52March 6, 2022 7:43 AM

OP, your non-celebrity angle is booooring so I'm going to ignore it.

I would think straight women were attracted to Reichen Lehmkuhl when he was younger.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 53March 6, 2022 8:19 AM

Tab Hunter? Sheesh. This place is like Jurassic Park.

by Anonymousreply 54March 6, 2022 8:41 AM

I don' know nuthin 'bout nuthin pre-2010.

by Anonymousreply 55March 6, 2022 9:05 AM

[quote] but nothing's a bigger turn off than men who look preened.

It worked for Prince.

by Anonymousreply 56March 6, 2022 9:28 AM

He was a multi-millionaire rock star, R56 - maybe that had something to do with it.

by Anonymousreply 57March 6, 2022 9:39 AM

R57 or perhaps it was something more than that...

by Anonymousreply 58March 6, 2022 9:53 AM

[quote]Gays like the fussed over look and their guys very groomed, plucked, scrubbed, shaved everywhere.

That is such a generalization and does not explain the popularity of bears.

by Anonymousreply 59March 6, 2022 12:39 PM

Yeah, these women are called Fag Hags! It is not a new phenomena.

It's very common for YOUNG women and girls. She knows the guy is gay (or ignores or makes excuses for it or thinks she can change that one little fact). Somehow maybe they can live happily ever after?

She just likes being around him. And why wouldn't she? Typically the gay guy is very clean, attractive, politically correct, smart, funny, entertaining, even a bit self-deprecating. He's PERFECT - well except for desiring you sexually...

Sorry girls, but that one "little fact" is never gonna change.

by Anonymousreply 60March 6, 2022 1:37 PM

Females will turn on a gay male celebrity once he comes out

by Anonymousreply 61March 6, 2022 2:29 PM

Do straight women only find the fit, conventionally handsome, urbane gay men attractive? Are there any women who are attracted to bears or nerdy gay men?

by Anonymousreply 62March 6, 2022 2:59 PM

R62 I think someone can be attractive, regardless of their sexuality. Look at all the straight men who try to "turn" a gorgeous lesbian.

by Anonymousreply 63March 6, 2022 3:11 PM

R50 Okay, that does make sense because women often look for a 'provider', someone who can get dirty and work hard, protect them, etc. A primped man is less likely to emit that even though society is pretty different now.

by Anonymousreply 64March 6, 2022 4:10 PM

[quote]Are there any women who are attracted to bears or nerdy gay men?


by Anonymousreply 65March 6, 2022 5:29 PM

Agreed, r65! We have enough straight fatties and nerds!

by Anonymousreply 66March 6, 2022 5:32 PM

R60, Sorry, YOU don't get it!

A man who has all the attributes you list and yet with whom we don't need to worry about whether he'll find us sexy? With whom we can relax, forget about flirting moves, eat that dessert (or maybe not; a gay man might tell us the awful truth!), talk about other men, seek advice?

Yes, please!

by Anonymousreply 67March 6, 2022 5:39 PM

If women were interested in fatties, slobs or nerds, they would only have to look at the ordinary straight guy.

by Anonymousreply 68March 6, 2022 5:41 PM

If a gay man is very handsome and straight looking and acting and has a decent personality, why wouldn't women be attracted to him?

by Anonymousreply 69March 6, 2022 6:08 PM

Clearly very few people have experienced this. I didn't realise it's so rare. Interesting. They have to use famous people as examples.

by Anonymousreply 70March 6, 2022 6:37 PM

Why do you think that lady of means hangs out with her handsome younger gay male friend? Because she wants non-threatening male companionship. A well-groomed considerate one who shares interests with her. Only a gay male can provide this, and it's never about sex - wanting it or having it.

by Anonymousreply 71March 6, 2022 7:03 PM

I believe this is the case for me. I've had several women make passes at me before but men on the other hand won't give me the time of day. If I were straight, I wouldn't be alone.

by Anonymousreply 72March 6, 2022 7:04 PM

R67 Apparently YOU STILL don't get it. LOL

PLENTY of females have come on to me and some know which side of my bread is buttered. An attractive man is desirable by men and women. How do you think that for generations, gay men have biologically fathered children? You seem slow so I am gonna give you a minute to think about that.

The Gays have rejected your culture and formed our own. While there is a small subset of gay men hustling or looking for a sugar daddy, most gays fuck who they want. They are not looking for financial security or mainstream approval the way women are. They are not looking for the Wall Street Banker or the nice Jewish Doctor - unless he has a big cock! HA!

[Quote] talk about other men, seek advice?

How narcissistic do you have to be to think that gay men need YOU to pick up a man. LOL Sweetie we are not fishing (pun intended) in your pond. LOL A gay can tell you who the closet cases are (takes one to know one), but they are not comparing notes with you on men. When day is done, gay men are not looking for you, they are going to find some cock!

[Quote]A man who has all the attributes you list and yet with whom we don't need to worry about whether he'll find us sexy?

What gay men are you hanging around with? If you come out looking crazy, a Queen will give you a read that will have you in tears. You better bring your A game if you are with the gays!

I always laugh when the Fraus come on here and try to Woman-Splain to the gays how gays how they interact with other people. The stereotypes you see in movies and tv is not reality. A gay man may laugh with you at the beauty salon or at your favorite retail establishment. He may even have coffee or drinks with you on occasion, but he is not your "girlfriend." Sweetums you have no idea what you're talking about but thanks for playing!

by Anonymousreply 73March 6, 2022 11:47 PM

Ask Liza. She married three gay men.

by Anonymousreply 74March 7, 2022 12:13 AM

R73, don't use the dated "LOL"

by Anonymousreply 75March 7, 2022 12:19 AM

Why wouldn’t straight women be attracted to certain gay men? They have eyes. They can see an attractive man with a beautiful face and body the same as we can.

by Anonymousreply 76March 7, 2022 12:21 AM

A lot of gay guys are ugly .

by Anonymousreply 77March 7, 2022 12:25 AM

^ Straight women don't want them, you take them

by Anonymousreply 78March 7, 2022 12:27 AM

What has LOL been replaced with, R75?

by Anonymousreply 79March 7, 2022 12:51 AM

^ anyone want to take this?

by Anonymousreply 80March 7, 2022 12:54 AM

A lot of us really aren't worried about being trendy, R75.

by Anonymousreply 81March 7, 2022 1:00 AM


Some of it is the difference in how gay men treat them -- a lot of gay men don't realize they're dating women, these are the types that yearn to be able a date a guy in heteronormative, cheesy way but the scene is more about hooking up and dating isn't a necessary means to an end. So, they get to do the 'romantic' gestures more with hags than other men.

And never mind the problems of hags when their first beau comes out later... typically, again, these are the more attentive, romantic boyfriends that ruin them for the basic fuckboys that come along.

We can look at the problems of numerous hags that end up in bad relationships because they never learned how to date / negotiate with str8 men -- to the same extent, why most gays remain/end up single because they don't know how to date. . . which is easier for both when those lessons start as a kid than adult with baggage and hangups.

Of course, there's also many women that enjoy a sport fuck. Women enjoy a challenge as much as men. And there's a prize for 'converting' a gay dude even if it amounts to date rape.

For all the talk of how gay men feel entitled to women's bodies, biased, I think there's a lot more women that feel entitled to gay men's bodies. It's that they want to sexually harass men and feel less threatened doing it to a guy that isn't interested in them. And then rationalize it by their worldview that men do to women all the time, so it's okay to molest me. But it was my fault for wearing a kilt that day or looking good in a speedo. Or the bigger reality that many women don't view gay men as real males.

And didn't everyone have that one frau on the block that would ask you to change a light bulb or clean out their gutters, so they could cop a feel.

There's a lot of str8 women, even among the most supportive, that believe gay men just haven't met the right girl yet.

Before the trans craze, there was also non-trans women that tried to hijack gay men spaces and sites believing they were only attracted to gay men and had the right to be on grindr or even be allowed in exclusively gay sex clubs.

Albeit, it was long debated whether or not they were truly attracted to gay men or it was more misguided feminism.

Even with all the talk of the need for female safe spaces and wanting you to advocate for it, if you ask most women to extend the same to male spaces, they don't believe in the need for them - saying shit that there's no more of a dangerous of a place than where men exclude women or that men only want to those spaces to cheat on their wives or denigrate women.

And of course, you have the women that flock to the gay clubs - which has long been controversial and also killed many of the sleazier pubs because they didn't like seeing more than lite pda.

And it's shit like that which has left me less tolerant to the excessive and aggressive anti-trans whines. Yes, there's a problem with trans, too, but girls angry about the lack of ladies nights and the constant push of emasculation onto gay men is tiresome.

also on oddity with their interest in gay porn and tendency towards non-consensual BL stories. Some of those girls should be investigated for their fanfics and art.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 82March 7, 2022 1:08 AM
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by Anonymousreply 83March 7, 2022 1:16 AM

George Michael…at least back in the Make it Big and Faith days.

Ricky Martin was gorgeous and women loved him. He seems really bitchy and wound up these days though.

by Anonymousreply 84March 7, 2022 1:21 AM

[quote]And there's a prize for 'converting' a gay dude even if it amounts to date rape.

If the gay dude is so repressive he can't physically defend himself from being "date raped" by a female, then I'll believe that's a thing.

by Anonymousreply 85March 7, 2022 1:26 AM

R85 I wouldn't necessarily call it "date rape" since those words have very specific connotations, but young closeted gay men can be (and are) taken advantage of by men and women because it sometimes seems easier to go along with it than having to deal with repercussions of not going along with it.

I speak from personal experience on that.

by Anonymousreply 86March 7, 2022 1:45 AM

OP, You are very critical of most of the responses. To you I say:

The word you want is "phenomenon."

"Your experience" is ambiguous AF. Posters who reply EITHER with famous men OR someone from their own lives are answering from their "experience." E g., I've met Ricky Martin. I find him even now exceedingly attractive. That is MY EXPERIENCE.

Your allusion to Tab Hunter---A FAMOUS PERSON---not only adds to your post's being misconstrued; it also ASSumes a common understanding on the part of your unknown readership.

So many "wrong" replies should suggest to you that the fault lies not in our stars, but in your composition.

by Anonymousreply 87March 8, 2022 8:50 AM

Most gay men are attractive to women. The DLer in the basement is the only exception.

by Anonymousreply 88March 8, 2022 9:27 AM

I think more females are attracted to male/male characters who they love to ship.

by Anonymousreply 89March 8, 2022 11:16 AM

[quote]So many "wrong" replies should suggest to you that the fault lies not in our stars, but in your composition.

Oh, do shut up you pretentious cunt.

There are so many errors in your monologue/diatribe I don't know where to start. So I won't.

by Anonymousreply 90March 8, 2022 11:25 AM

R73, I'm not to whom you replied, but you miscomprehended at least one point, to wit:

The "talk about other men, seek advice" was the woman saying what SHE might gain, from HER perspective.

You are incapable (just like any other man, straight, gay, or trans) of and quite arrogant to think you can tell a woman wherefore she might like the company of a gay man. You can only speak to your own perspective as a gay man about such a relationship.

Platonic friendships between the sexes do exist, or the word "platonic" would not. You don't have to care for them, but you don't get to deny their viability.

by Anonymousreply 91January 27, 2023 2:47 PM

R13/OP Then you shouldn't have mentioned TAB HUNTER.

by Anonymousreply 92January 27, 2023 2:51 PM
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by Anonymousreply 93January 27, 2023 2:57 PM

Again, who gives a shit?

by Anonymousreply 94January 28, 2023 5:25 PM
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