“Death on the Nile” reviews

Two stars from The Guardian

[quote]Among the passengers, Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders play lady’s-companion Mrs Bowers and her wealthy socialite-turned-socialist employer Marie Van Schuyler, and the presence of this venerable comedy duo makes the movie look weirdly like a laugh-free version of the spoof they might have created for their erstwhile TV show.

Ouch

With 43 reviews it's at 70% on RT

No peen from Armie to salvage this unnecessary film? Only thing that could improve the 78 version.

He should have filmed Appointment With Death (destroyed in translation by the Suchet series) or Cards On The Table. Either would be great on the big screen and not as well known.

John Gielgud once said about Branagh that (paraphrasing here) he was an ok actor but really excelled at directing.

I'm dreading French & Saunders to be honest. Especially stepping into the shoes of two of the most iconic actresses in history.

Branagh is a very uneven director. I haven't seen BELFAST yet, but I find most of his film output not that impressive. He did three worthwhile Shakespeare adaptations (HENRY V, MUCH ADO, HAMLET) and some really bad ones (AS YOU LIKE IT, LOVE'S LABOURS LOST). His remakes of FRANKENSTEIN and MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS were grossly overdone, and the less said about his remake of SLEUTH, the better.

Haven't bothered with his Marvel movies or CINDERELLA, though I gather the latter is pretty mediocre.

Agree with Gielgud that he's a good, but not exceptional actor.

It’s better than Murder on the Orient Express.

It doesn't have the same fla-vah!

Average reviews are fine by me. I'm really familiar with the story and I'm I'm just going for the visuals.

Angela Lansbury almost ruined the original with her Razzie-worthy performance.

^Angela Lansbury is (always) a goddess, asshole!

The visuals are an over-the-top CGI fest like Murder. Every pyramid was created in the lab.

[quote]I'm dreading French & Saunders to be honest. Especially stepping into the shoes of two of the most iconic actresses in history.

Elsa Lanchester and Estelle Winwood!

70% on rotten tomatoes is pretty good. Can't wait to see Armie Hammer in action again ;)

R6 Belfast is excellent and it's the only film directed by Branagh that I've seen. Wouldn't be surprised if it won Best Picture and Best Original Screenplay. DOTN looks awful.

Nobody can beat Mia Farrow at lilting girlish malevolent hysteria. She's excellent in the only film of this worth watching. Simon MacCorkindale was a divine man. Nobody has ever looked like him. What a sexy bitch.

Lansbury was rediculous - like Carol Burnett stepped in from Annie on her day off.

And Lois Chiles had a great voice. Beautiful woman. Who did she fuck to get so many roles? I think it was Streizand maybe?

Bette Davis's last worthwhile part. She's wasn't great - but she is a great prescense. Before the face lift and the strokes. Maggie Smith - meh.

The OG is the best Agatha Christine film adaptation of all time. I love the accent of the 7-11 employee!

R16 Lois Chiles was a super model and had the right looks for the parts she got in The Great Gatsby, The Way We Were and Death on the Nile. None of then called for acting. She was dull in Moonraker, but she was fine in Broadcast news.

Bette Davis and Maggie Smith should have insisted that Lansbury be fired from the picture and another actress brought in to take over the part. Angie never understood that stage and film acting are two entirely different animals. On film, an actor doesn't need to emote to the last row in the theater.

She had the same problem during the first season of Murder She Wrote and CBS executives had to tell her to tone it down so as not to scare TV audiences.

Angela Lansbury was an accomplished film actress long before she was a star of the stage. She was always an eye popping ham. Her big faces on TV were frightening and predictable. Her reruns scare me. Who the RuPaul fuck watched that terrible Murder She Wrote? I don't get what's supposed to be great about Angela. She seems so fake genteel. She pitched her performance in Death on The Nile horribly wrong. She probably was wildly aiming at a Best Supporting Actress Oscar. No Dice.

Lansbury was excellent in Gaslight, The Manchurian Candidate (1962), All Fall Down (1962) and Something for Everyone (1970) and her character Salome and her performance in DOTN were enjoyably theatrical, and she was named Best Supporting Actress by The National Board of Review as she had been in 1962

[quote] And Lois Chiles had a great voice. Beautiful woman. Who did she fuck to get so many roles?

Robert Evans, for one.

[quote]Who the RuPaul fuck watched that terrible Murder She Wrote?

Jesus fucking christ.

Murder She Wrote was the #1 show in the Nielsens IIRC.

This would be the Greatest Generation watching. They also watched 60 Minutes which was also at the top of the Nielsens.

[quote] And Lois Chiles had a great voice. Beautiful woman. Who did she fuck to get so many roles?

William S. Paley.

Murder, She Wrote maintained extremely high ratings, finishing in the top 15 of shows for eleven of its 12 seasons (eight of which it was in the top 10), even well into its late seasons. By its 11th season, Murder, She Wrote was still averaging 25 million viewers per week. At its very peak, the show even hit above 40 million US viewers. However, at the beginning of its 12th season in 1995, CBS moved the show from its extremely popular Sunday night time slot to Thursday night forcing it to compete with NBC's Must See TV line up, and as a result the ratings plummeted..

Yes, this show may have been very popular with eldergays and my grandparents, but Murder She Wrote is terrible DRECK. And Lansbury had a rolodex of about 25 faces that she rotates through. The most BORING show ever. Some nice tight pants on some of the guys from back in the 70s or whenever it was made. DRECK.

R26 Have you never seen or heard of Full House or Family Ties? Talk about DRECK!

No, I have never seen those shows. I was born in the 1980's. I've heard of Full House because that one old guy died from the COVID booster last week?

Murder She Wrote everyone with grandparents or great grandparents has seen. Is it in constant rotation at your home too, R27 ?

DRECK

I'm not a huge Lansbury fan, but thought she was hilarious in the 1978 version. Her performance was like something out of a Carol Burnett skit, but it worked for me.

As a kid the looks she gave here scared me, the bug eyes & the twisted, screwed up face—just like Wendy Hiller freaked me out in MOTOE (with her it was mostly the mouth).

I can’t wait to see this remake, I’ve been bummed by the delays, & feared they’d nix it altogether after Armie’s messes.

I read an interview with Lansbury several years ago where she said she was taken aback watching her performance in this film and wondered why the director didn't say anything. So she knows what she did was a mistake.

Her performance might have worked well on stage, but it really is much too broad for a film. I can only imagine the catty remarks from Bette Davis and Maggie Smith behind Lansbury's back.

Could Lucy have played Salome Otterbourne?

Nobody ever talks about me.

R28 Being born in the 80s didn't prevent you from seeing a late 70s film.

I have R28 on block, makes for a much more pleasant thread.

I thought Gal Gadot will have Mia's role but looks like a lesser known actress took it. So Gal had the Lois' role - which I think had fewer scenes than Mia.

Mia Farrow was miscast as Lynette (she overacts dreadfully too). Lois Chiles was beautiful but couldn’t act. Her role was limited but they make the most improbable’best friends’. They are were also 10 years older for the part (Lynette has just reached 21). In the Suchet remake the actresses looked younger and Emily Blunt was ok, but the actress that played Jacqueline was awful and frumpy.

Gal Gadot is not a good actress but from the trailer she looks ok in the part and younger than a 36 years. Emma is and looks younger, so they got the ages wrong again and i think ages are important in this - this is a young people’s murder. I still want to see it, but i just read in the reviews there is a big intro to Poirot’s past in the war (‘rolls eyes’). Again, Kenneth Blargh will make it about himself and deviate attention from the story and characters…

I hope Olivia Hussey has a cameo.

[quote]I thought Gal Gadot will have Mia's role but looks like a lesser known actress took it. So Gal had the Lois' role - which I think had fewer scenes than Mia.

Jodie Comer was originally cast as Mia Farrow but had to withdraw before filming.

Pauline Kael loved Angela Lansbury in "Death on the Nile"--she thought she was the best thing in the film.

It has a 52 MetaScore and the NY Times review headed "Dead in the Water"

Down to 62% with 117 reviews on RT

This movie was horrible. Terrible green screen work and poor CGI. You never believe for a second that they are in Egypt The acting is atrocious. Gal should only play Wonder Woman. The whole point of one of these movies is to get to the final scene where Poirot gathers all the suspects together to reveal who did it. This film races through that.The original film took it's time and showed you how it all happened. I don't believe for a second that he figured it out. I understand wanting to diversify the cast but why most the two black characters talk like they are from a Tyler Perry period piece. Also why does race have to play a role. She may be the killer because Lynette did not want to swim with a black child when she herself was a child , really. Armie is not given much to do. Poirot is given an unnecessary back story starting in WW1 for no good reason. Stick with the original or wait for streaming if you must

Is the Netflix Rebecca remake with Armie worth watching?

Went to see Death On The Nile this morning and it was a very mixed bag. When you have to have a character explain who everyone is, well just no.

The Gal Gadot/Armie Hamer/Not Jodie Comer scenes were all good in the opening scenes. Not Jodie Comer (Emma something?) looks amazing on the big screen. I was dazzled by her chin. Armie Hamer seemed to be playing Henry Cavill.

Sophie Okonedo and Letitia Wright put the right amount of fun into it, although at times looked they'd wandered in from a Ryan Murphy series.

Jennifer Saunders was good when she had something to do but Dawn French wasn't great. Loved the lesbian twist! Imagine Bette Davis and Maggie Smith going at it hammer and tongs. What was the point of Russell Brand? And anyone could have been Rose Leslie.

Who did I miss? Oh Annette Bening did her best English accent but I was blah.

[quote]What was the point of Russell Brand?

I've been wondering that for years!

[quote]Mia Farrow was miscast as Lynette (she overacts dreadfully too).

Nobody's going to agree with me, but I wanted to see the horror movie Mia thought she was in when she was filming DotN. She'd be completely batshit crazy and nearly terrifying, then the movie would cut to a pleasant scene filmed through 40 layers of gauze as everyone acted like they were in a light comedy, making little jokes about a murder victim being able to write the name of her murderer in her own blood before dying.

"Is the Netflix Rebecca remake with Armie worth watching?"

No.

Why would anybody watch this when the original featured Bette Davis, Angela Lansbury, Maggie Smith, Mia Farrow, and Olivia Hussey?

It’s interesting that everyone is comparing it to the earlier film. When I think Poirot I think David Suchet and so that’s my reference point.

I just watched that about two weeks ago. Christie’s story is manifestly preposterous and the tv series has an awareness of it.

Branagh seems to have tried to make an intense film out of the Christie story — “risible!” as a Poirot character might say.

Gal Gadot is such a terrible actress and a warmonger who supports the murder of children. Armie Hammer is a cannibal and a sex fiend (which probably will make him more popular here). Letitia Wright is an anti-vaxxer and a TERF. What a problematic cast.

I was constantly taken out of the movie because I kept trying to figure out who played which character in the 1978 film. It's been awhile since I've seen that version and the characters were shuffled around in this one so I just ended up being confused much of the time. Where was the boozy Angela Lansbury character! I guess that's my fault for not just going with a new interpretation but both this and Murder on the Orient Express have a coldness about them that makes it hard to get invested.

For a 2+ hour movie it was ridiculous how the characters were introduced in a rapid fire voice over. The conclusion felt very rushed as well. I'm curious if they cut any of Armie Hammer's scenes. His character kind of disappeared after the murder until his final two scenes. I'd love to know if anyone unfamiliar with the story had a hard time figuring out the ending. They didn't do a very good job of making any of the supporting players viable suspects.

I thought the actress who played Jacqueline was terrible. Gal Gadot was Gal Gadot but it felt like they tried to make her character much more sympathetic here. Russell Brand seemed sedated. I always love French and Saunders but Jennifer's styling made her look like Flattop from Dick Tracy.

R47, great post, i agree Mia was not very good in this. R50, i also agree that the story is somewhat preposterous. But it is also very intense. At its center it has a fundamental betrayal that most people can relate. Jacqueline is a great and complex character that has never been made justice inthe screen (haven’t yet seen this version). Unlike most Poirot books, he has simpathy for her.

That said, the story is complicated by a complex and improbable murder. I wrote this before here but no one in their right mind would plan this. That is why the main trio should be very young, as in the book.

[quote] Where was the boozy Angela Lansbury character!

Lansbury was so bloody awful in the original that Branagh decided to do away the character completely.

Lansbury was one of the best parts of the original. Another reason to hate this remake.

The movie is dreadful. Who knew Death on the Nile can be a complete and utter bore!

R54 according to the NY Times review there is a Salome in the remake reimagined as a blues singer

I am not a huge Mia Farrow fan but she was wonderfully strange and at times lovely in the original. And not any older than Gil Galdot who is ALWAYS expressionless in her face and vocal infections. No one is more mannered than Mia Farrow and (her then best friend Liza Minnelli) in line readings, but Mia is gorgeous in those clothes, gorgeous in her madness and completely steals the movie. I wasn't born until the 1980s so some old fart saying that Mia was miscast and wasn't very good is kind of beside the point. These movies are NOT good. Were they meant to be good? They were sumptuous and full of characters and attractive stars. Agatha Christie books are not preposterous or maybe they are. They sure are dull with a the same cast of characters in every book. I could only slog my way through two of them in my life. They were stuck on my mom's KINDLE. And I was trapped in a mine shaft.

Mia Farrow is an acquired taste and she gets tiresome even in Rosemary's Baby. It's that lilting singsong voice and her lovely but strange mouth movements. She was a new kind of beauty and still beautiful during Death on the Nile. She's looks like a newt or inside out eyelids. Different. But her wan body and voice are in great juxtaposition with her reserved strength and fierceness that would get her far in her career and murder. And in her later lies, in and out of the courtroom.

That soft cannibal is no Simon MacCorkindale. Simon was one hot bitch. I don't think that Mia Farrow made any distinction between the quality of any or her roles. She's a play actress. She plays dress up and puts on a fancy voice. Like her friend Liza. Mia just happened to be beautiful for a few years.

It says something about the lack of interest in this remake when there are more posts in this thread about the 1978 film and fucking Murder She Wrote. They should have just let Angela Lansbury do more Miss Marple movies instead.

R52 his character has limited scenes in the book/other movies after he becomes bedbound. The action takes place elsewhere on the boat.

Why are they intent on prostrating Poirot as some strong, love-lorn hero? Why have Salome as a love interest? I'm guessing she's no longer a lush in this reimagining.

Eugh, so many unnecessary changes. Why add Bouc and his mother? Why have Tom Bateman fully clothed?

[quote] Why are they intent on prostrating Poirot as some strong, love-lorn hero? Why have Salome as a love interest? I'm guessing she's no longer a lush in this reimagining. Kenneth Branagh is an ageist. He could have hired Angela to reprise her Salome role and romance her.

[quote] Why are they intent on prostrating Poirot as some strong, love-lorn hero? Why have Salome as a love interest? I'm guessing she's no longer a lush in this reimagining.

Kenneth Branagh is an ageist. He could have hired Angela to reprise her Salome role and romance her.

Isn't Tom Bateman the gay fiancé of Daisy Ridley?

I love Salome in the original. Frances De La Tour wasn't half bad in the Suchet film either.

I want to have sex with Kevin.

Does Russell Brand do his standard act?

I want to eat him. Bones and all.

Simon was on Falcon Crest! ❤❤❤

[quote]And Lois Chiles had a great voice. Beautiful woman. Who did she fuck to get so many roles? I think it was Streizand maybe?

“In New York, Ray [Stark, producer of ”The Way We Were“], bubbling with that infectious enthusiasm, worked overtime at the job he wanted: casting young actresses. He took me with him to a casting session at an excellent Chinese restaurant convenient to his apartment on East Fifty-seventh. The other guests were Oleg Cassini and his very pretty girl who had no interest in becoming an actress, and an even prettier girl who was an actress and extremely interested in being recognized as one.

”Her name was Lois Chiles. I liked her; it was a pleasure just to look at her. Although she gave the impression of being the well-spoken, fresh-faced graduate of a very good private school, she got all Ray's jokes which flew thick, fast and dirty. The part she wanted in The Way We Were was a good one. The requirements for the role were simple; understanding the requirements for getting the role was also simple. Lois understood.

“'In other words,' she said to Ray as though she were talking to a broker who had just explained the contents of her portfolio, 'I get the part if I fuck you.'

”'Right!' Ray winked and laughed as though he might not have meant it. No one was going to catch him. Lois got the part.“

[Several months later...]

”The first person I saw on the set, however, wasn't Barbra [Streisand]; it wasn't Sydney [Pollack] or [Robert] Redford; it wasn't even Ray. It was Lois Chiles. She raced over, threw her arms around me as though we knew each other, and burst into tears. Sydney was mean to her, Redford was glacial, Barbra invisible, Ray ignored her—could we please have dinner please? Of course. Here, take my handkerchief, call me at my hotel later to fix the time.

“When she called, she asked: 'Would you mind if I brought a friend? Would it be alright?' 'Sure. Who's your friend?' 'Bob Evans.' Jesus. 'You don't need me, Lois. You're doing fine.' The Great Gatsby, her next picture, was produced by Bob Evans. Hollywood was full of Chinese restaurants.”

-- from ”Original Story By Arthur Laurents: A Memoir of Broadway and Hollywood."

The girl who plays Jackie makes Madonna look like Meryl Streep. In the words of Patti LuPone, she is a movie killer who cannot act her way out of a paper bag and should not be in film or on stage.

Annette Bening did the best she could with a horribly written role. (Are she and Warren running out of money?)

In a really lazy plot twist, Van Schuyler and her companion are now lesbian lovers (as if nobody had figured that out already). Obviously not as good as Bette Davis, but she's still okay.

Simon and the assistant from the first movie competed for the first 30 minutes for horniest character. Seriously, Armie is horny and creepy up until Linnet dies, then overacts in Simon's reaction to Linnet's death before fading into the background until the end. The assistant is just as annoying as in the first movie.

Russell Brand had like 10 minutes on screen tops. I didn't recognize him at first (he was the introverted doctor/Linnet's ex-boyfriend). He and Gal Gadot's performances were surprisingly good.

It picks up after the first 20-30 minutes. If you survive that, you can make it.

I wonder if I was jaded seeing the movie because I've seen the original so many times, and was even given a VHS copy as a Christmas present when I was 13, on my request. Don't Mary! me please.

Making all of the guests except Jackie part of the wedding party made it seem odd. Angela Lansbury and Olivia Hussey had motive to kill Lois Chiles because of the lawsuit but Sophie Okonedo and Letitia Wright's motives to kill Gal Gadot were ridiculous.

I watched the Albert Finney version of Murder On The Orient Express when I was about 15, on New Year's Eve, My mum encouraged us to stay up and watch it, The opening sequence with the newspaper cuttings was fantastic and when the killer was revealed it made sense. With the Pfeiffer version the joy came from seeing all the big name stars hamming it up but the plot was just blah.

[quote] Yes, this show may have been very popular with eldergays and my grandparents, but Murder She Wrote is terrible DRECK. And Lansbury had a rolodex of about 25 faces that she rotates through.

Go FUCK your self r26.

That was a fantastic excerpt, r69, I'm going to read that book.

[quote]Don't Mary! me please.

Okay, but it's not gonna be easy.

[quote]" But it [the story] is also very intense. At its center it has a fundamental betrayal that most people can relate. Jacqueline is a great and complex character that has never been made justice inthe screen (haven’t yet seen this version). Unlike most Poirot books, he has simpathy for her."

others agree R53 that this may be her best and complex story, a more psychological portrayal of characters than in her typical whodunits.

Incredible that Lois Chiles, one of the most wooden starlets to ever "grace" the silver screen, ended up teaching a course in "Screen Acting".

Do these films make money? How random? I could understand it being done for television, but the big screen?

Apparently.

$352,794,081

I read that book in high school and really enjoyed it, even though a friend kind of spoiled the mystery for me. He also spoiled Murder on the Orient Express to his sister. I hope he's learned to keep his mouth shut since then lol.

R78 something tells me that those who shelled out money to see the remake of MOTOE won't be doing so for the remake of Death on the Nile aka Dead on Arrival

R80. Yup, I happily paid money to watch Murder in theaters but have zero interest in this. The cast along was awful but all the story changes sound even worse.

R80 here. It grossed $5.1M on Friday. Which is a little better than remake of WSS did on its opening day and more than I thought DOTN would.

Too bad Rita Moreno wasn't available for Lansbury's role in the remake. She's so subtle.

R83 That bitch has been cancelled. I know there's a God because she didn't get nominated again for that shitty WSS remake.

[quote] R80] here. It grossed $5.1M on Friday. Which is a little better than remake of WSS did on its opening day

OUCH.

I’m not risking Covid to see either at a cinema but I will see. It’s at home.

R76 I saw Lois Chiles as a teen in MOONRAKER where she wore a white gown at night in Venice. THE WAY WE WERE, THE GREAT GATSBY, COMA, DEATH ON THE NILE and DALLAS - she had to wear fabulous clothes and speak naturally. Chiles always seemed distanced but was more relaxed as Holly Harwood in DALLAS. Chiles' career seemed to fade out after DALLAS, appearing only in a few TV guest roles and cameoing in the first Austin Powers film. She "taught an acting class at the University of Houston" (IMDb) - why not? She's good in her scene with Bette Davis in DOTN. She is my Shelley Hack, DL!

You just know Bette Davis was willing to go all the way to Egypt to film in the hopes of winning that long-awaited third Oscar the way Ingrid Bergman did for Murder. It's ironic considering how she turned down The African Queen since she refused to shoot on-location back then.

This movie is racist for blackwashing Angela Lansbury and Olivia Hussey's characters. These characters have always been classically white.

Bette Davis turned down the African Queen? Bloated blowsy bug eyed frowzy Bette Davis was offered that part?

Thank fucking christ she turned it down. It's still a good and charming film. Hepburn and Bogart are perfectly wrong together. It seems pretty inspired casting.

I wouldn't compare the conditions in the Congo with the shoot for Death on The Nile though. Bette Davis deserved her third Oscar for All About Eve or Baby Jane. Either year she should have won. There was nothing new from her after that. I don't think she would be happy with a supporting actress award anyway. She was hoping for The Whales of August. That. Kind. Of. Halting. Speech. Doesn't. Win. Oscar.

He was an acolyte of Dr. Zachary Smith.

R89 Yes, she was offered it originally but refused because she wouldn't go to Africa. I can't help but wonder if her career post-All About Eve would have received better traction had she gone ahead with African Queen.

I know she complained bitterly during Death on the Nile about the on-location shooting. Kept making comments about how in her day they would have just shot all the scenes on the backlot and how they didn't need to go to Egypt, the studio would bring Egypt to them.

As for her potential third Oscar win, All About Eve she should have won for if not for Sunset Boulevard. I never felt Anne Baxter took away votes from her as much as Gloria Swanson did for Sunset Boulevard since both movies are about aging actresses and they had the critically acclaimed performances. Baby Jane there was no chance In hell she was ever going to win. Only Bette, in her own deluded mind, was convinced that Oscar was promised for her. Anne Bancroft and The Miracle Worker had swept the awards at the Tony's and there was no reason to doubt that wouldn't happen again with the Oscars.

The way she claims Joan took away her Oscar for Baby Jane is also laughable. If Joan had that much clout, Joan would have been nominated alongside Bette and won instead. In fact, Joan was nominated alongside Bette at the BAFTAs although neither won there.

I agree though that she wouldn't have been happy with a Supporting Actress award specifically since her goal was to catch up to Hepburn. However by that point in her career, she wouldn't be able to accept anything else. And The Whales of August was definitely her way of redoing On Golden Pond but she didn't exactly act much in that movie. She basically just played herself, albeit a toned down version since Lillian Gish said Bette was absolutely dreadful on set. I am surprised they didn't even nominate Lillian Gish, let alone award her the Oscar, considering what a historic actress she is but I guess they felt the honorary Oscar they gave her was enough.

Favorite Pauline Kael comments about Lois Chiles:

from DEATH ON THE NILE: "With..., regrettably, the expressive Lois Chiles (who sounds dubbed or vaguely ventriloquial, like a transsexual)..."

from MOONRAKER: "As the scientist-heroine, Lois Chiles is so enevrated she barely reacts to the threat of the end of the world."

R92 Pauline Kael was a homophobic desperate bitch.

I saw DOTN today. I enjoyed just as much as Branaugh's last one MOTOE. Both enjoyable murder mysteries with a good cast. I found the acting to be good. I will admit the beginning of the film which explains why Poirot has a mustache kept me wondering about it through the entire film but maybe that was the point. A fine matinee.

R94 Bette Davis would skewer you.

Each country has its own characteristic light quality.Something to do depending on where the country is in relation to the equator if memory serves me right.

Movies filmed on original location therefore have that extra "flahva" that cannot be reproduced since the invention of color-film.

That larger than life cast sweating their legendary asses off in those marvellous costumes must have put them in a foul mood on occasion ,i guess. On the other hand it automatically put a tension on screen that serves the plot.

Judging by the trailer that new film offers none of that magic.

Wasn't this entire movie filmed in green screen?

Gal Gadot and The Cannibal don't exist in the world without a green screen.

This new movie looks like a lot of CGI, from the trailer.

Angela Lansbury is on record saying what a great time they had making the 78 movie. Peter Ustinov and Bette Davis entertaining the cast with great stories, fun script, no big arguments. She also said Bette was no diva and got on with it like a pro, even in crampt conditions when they were being dressed. Listen to her AFI tribute to Bette.

If Ingrid won for her small part in MOTOE then Bette at least deserved a nomination for DOTN. Maggie Smith won that year in supporting for California Suite. I wonder if at least some of those votes were also for her terrific turn as Bowers?

R94 thanks for the warning. I was bored by the remake of Murder on the Orient Express and stopped watching after 45 minutes and Dead on the Nile received even less enthusiastic reviews.

$13 million opening which is off over 50% from the first’s $29 million but still pretty decent for the pandemic

I was in Egypt a few years after the original was shot there and my tour guide (Mohammed, what else) had served as tour guide for Bette Davis and Maggie Smith. He regaled us with many funny stories about the ladies which I cannot remember but I do recall him telling us that they had enjoyed themselves tremendously, and that Bette had told him the only reason she took the role was so that she could see Egypt in first class, as stars do courtesy of the producers.

Jodie Comer dropped out of playing Jacqueline.

Anyone else seen this needless remake?

R103 She spared herself from a real stinker

This was actually decent. Granted, the screenplay is lacking and I figured out the murderer right after we see who was murdered. The only thing that took me by surprise was I didn't expect this particular character to be the one to go six feet under. But, the direction was surprisingly good, especially the first fifteen minutes or so. I don't understand how Branagh was able to elevate this material but sunk with Belfast. I felt like I was watching an Indiana Jones film at times. I didn't mind the CGI. The cast is solid. I wasn't all that distracted by Hammer's personal life; it actually works for this role. I like Sophie Okonedo's choices.

R106 how can you not know who the Murder victim was? Why did the kill off Tom Bateman?

Book was cute. Armie was delicious.

I'm guessing it's ok to post spoilers here seeing it's about the reviews.

[quote][R106] how can you not know who the Murder victim was? Why did the kill off Tom Bateman?

Tom Bateman gets the bullet Angela Lansbury had in the original.

Sorry I thought he meant he didn't know SPOILER the wife gets shot.

In this one do they still stick the dead in the cold storage unit?

Yes, with the meat.

R109 Since Angela's character was recast as black they probably felt it would be racist to kill her off. That's my guess anyway

I've never read the book or seen any of the film adaptations. I thought it was painfully obvious that the husband did it.

I agree with the Guardian's comment about French & Saunders' scenes being reminiscent of their old film spoofs.

Letitia Wright's character was a total Mary Sue.

Any nudity?

Nope.

Not even Dawn French nude?

Armie Hammer needs to show that big pinga if he wants his career back, such as it is.

Isn't this tanking at the B.O.? Only 39M as of last night worldwide.

I saw this tonight, much better than I was expecting, but it did not have the camp value of Davis and Smith, and no real star power, but still enjoyable.

And even though I read that it was not filmed anywhere near Egypt or the Nile, it was still pretty convincing.

Armie is completely delicious in this film, when will we see that hot ass and meat of his?

[quote] Armie is completely delicious

Pretty sure Armie would say the same about any of us, given half the chance.

In the movie, the dead bodies are kept in the meat locker freezer, I wondered if his character went down there to select some choice cuts

Saw it yesterday. Better than I expected but my expectations were low. An improvement over the mediocre Orient Express. The prologue and coda are completely unnecessary though.

Unlike the 1978 film, this one lacks humor. It's all very earnest and the direction can be heavy handed. Don't care too much for Branagh as Poirot - he tries too hard to make him "touching."

The rest are generally good. Hammer was better than I expected and I liked him more than Simon MacCorkindale. Gal Gadot gets by and she's not as wooden as Lois Chiles. Sophie Okonedo is the only one who overdoes it.

I saw it today & really liked it. The only thing that turned me off was the blues music & the twerking near the beginning, totally anachronistic & kinda took me out of the timeframe.

The only character who did nothing for me was Euphemia/Annette Benning. Totally unnecessary addition & her character never had a motive.

I really like Sophie Okenedo but I’m fearing seeing her in Ratched had ruined her for me. Every performance since, I’m watching for signs of her histrionics & abominable speech patterns from that dreadful show. She had to go from posh upper class snob to “you ain’t shit, mothafucka!” In the same sentence & it was really campy.

I was disappointed that Tom Bateman didn’t look as sartorially splendid looking as he did in MOTOE. Still has pretty teeth, though. The girl playing Jacqueline looked like a slightly less attractive version of Margot Robbie. Speaking of which she would have made a better Linnet than Gal Gadot, although I thought she was fine. And nice to see Branagh throw a bone to his former fuck buddy Adam Garcia. He has a few lines as a member of the press as he also did on MOTOE.

Like the remake of West Side Story, I say why bother to remake it or watch it. They will never supplant the originals and WSS bombed at the BO making less than $38M after 88 days of in release on a $100M budget and after 25 days DOTN has grossed $37M domestically.

Hopefully, Branagh will stop making these overpumped remakes of great movies now.

Yes, Okonedo seemed to wander in from a much…uhhh…livelier film but I really enjoyed her in this. R129, I don’t think he’ll be playing Poirot in future films, hence the “hopeful” ending where he’s “unmasked.”

I just watched/fast forwarded through this abomination of a film.

Stupid, boring, cheesy and hokey are the words that come to mind.

The prologue bit was idiotic.

Not sure what was the worst...the direction? the script? the acting? the horrible cinematography? the ridiculously phony CGI which made it seem like we were in the middle of a Civ computer game?

It's one of Christie's silliest plots (but also very fun) and the first film and the TV film both got the tone right...light murder mystery in gorgeous surroundings.

This just felt like a bad video game made by hacks who speak English as a second language.

And, if you're going to do the traditional "star studded Agatha Christie whodunnit" then you need to fucking hire some stars.

Gal Gadot? Armie Hammer? Annette Benning? Russell Brand? French & Saunders?

That would be fine if those were the "lesser" names in the cast but they're actually the better known names.

Gal Gadot can't act and she only has 2 facial expressions, while Annette Bening was spectacular as usual.

[quote]This movie was horrible. Terrible green screen work and poor CGI.

Agreed; the green screen was so bad it was distracting. The woman who played Jackie looked like Margo Robbie but as someone else noted, had the acting chops of Madonna. Armie was as horribly hammy as suspected, but I think they could've done better. Annette Benning - I kept thinking the same thing - is she broke or just sick of Warren & wanted out of the house. Gal Godot is amazingly beautiful, but sort of an empty vessel. She seemed to nice & bland for anyone to really dislike her.

Linnet, the main murder victim, has a history of poor actresses in that role.

Lois Chiles in the 78 film might be the most wooden female actress in history.

Emily Blunt played her in the 2005 TV film. She's a good actress and did a fine job with Linnet.

Gal Gadot is....well, she's certainly very athletic looking!

I thought the scenes in Egypt were very convincing

It was boring.

r136 Ditto

Put this on the other night. Me and my boyfriend didn't make it past the first hour and forgot all about it.

Zzz zzz....

You know it's a bad movie when Russell Brand is the stand out

I agree with the above posters about the garish CGI — it was phony and obvious.

R134, in Cybill Shepherd’s memoir, she wrote that she turned down the role of Linnet in the original “Death on the Nile” because she wasn’t interested in spending the majority of a movie as a corpse.

Gal Gadot is really a shockingly bad actress. Stiff, mannered, affected. Great Wonder Woman.

Arnie looks great in the movie, but his teeth seemed to be prosthetic - too big for his mouth. The movie was watchable.

R140 Cybill always was dumb. Gorgeous, lucky, ambitious but also kinda dumb.

She turned down a star studded Christie film (that was a success) and did something called "Special Delivery" with Bo Svenson and "Silver Bears" with Michael Caine. Then than awful remake of The Lady Vanishes and then she was reduced to TV movie land.

I didn't expect much, but it wasn't good. Love Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders.

Gal Gadot looked strange, like the shape of her face was really weird, almost alien like. The entire time I had to guess whether this was because of the bad hairstyle or the make-up. The twist of the third murder being someone other than Mrs. Otterbourne was badly executed.

The origin story of Poirot's mustache? Ridiculous.

There are a few visual glimpses of European art house movie shots, but they stick out like a pretentious sore thumb.

The film should've gone for a lighter, campier feel, but it just felt drab, dark, taking itself way too seriously (sure, three violent deaths aren't the greatest material for a light comedy, but still).

[quote]The origin story of Poirot's mustache? Ridiculous.

I thought the origin story was to make Poirot more poignant & sympathetic, rather that just the creeper that the girl accuses him of being, giving him trauma related OCD. But I think in softening these characters & making him more relatable, it kind of blunted the point of the story. A terrible thing happened in this very confined space, but everyone is so terrible, it could've been any of them & the victim is so terrible, it's hard to feel anything other than they got what they deserved.

Branagh channeled Twilight's Edward for his Poirot performance. At some point, I expected Poirot to sparkle in the Egyptian sunlight. Investigating a murder should bring Poirot to life, but instead he just walked through the sets and scenes like he was sleepwalking. No spark, no energy. Just gloomy even before his friend gets murdered.

Gal Gadot is so plain looking. Horrid *actress" to boot.

Okay, but way too long.

I didn't hate this movie. I liked it about as much as Murder on the Orient Express.

Agreed, R143, when I read that Shepherd turned down “Death on the Nile”, I thought it was a boneheaded move, too — considering the films she accepted around that time!

“Silver Bears” at least looked good on paper, with an interesting director (Ivan Passer) a script by Peter (“Charade”) Stone and a fine supporting cast. But “Special Delivery” was a forgettable AIP programmer, and “The Lady Vanishes” — well, you just don’t remake Hitchcock!

Would’ve been interesting to see her Linnet.

[quote]It's one of Christie's silliest plots (but also very fun) and the first film and the TV film both got the tone right...light murder mystery in gorgeous surroundings.

Yes - it sounds odd to say about a movie with a number of people getting killed, but the story is not supposed to be some emotional drama realistically showing the grief people show after death, it is supposed to be a fun puzzle to solve. I understand wanting a different take on things, but so many of the Agatha Christie adaptations have tried to go darker with only a few really being better or interesting rather than dreary. The Poirot backstory did not anything except adding time to an already long movie. He works better with just hints of a dark mystery in his past and some subtext from time to time there is some sadness behind his ego - it does not need to be heavily hammered home. There was a TV adaption where he had been a priest who witnessed an atrocity during one of the world wars and it just seemed like pretentious overkill.

The club scene at the beginning also seemed long and unnecessary, although it might have been the only time Gale captured the character and that was due to lighting. Part of it might have been I know the murderer from reading the book but felt it might have emphasized the triangle too much right away that it seemed obvious one would be the victim and on or both of the survivors would be the killer.

Poirot's friend was not in the book, correct? If so, that seemed like overkill and just away to try and add depth and grief in a story that would have been better left light and superficial (as strange as that sounds). It also changed the murderess from one who was more sympathetic and tragic in the book (if I am remembering correctly) to completely cold and unsympathetic. It did give Annette Benning a chance to show she was probably the best actor in the bunch.

Gale was not awful but really did not exude much of a personality which was needed to explain why so many people would want her dead. Armie's not stellar acting might have actually worked for the character, although on a superficial level, did not think he looked as good as he had in the past. His partner in crime might have been the best of the three in having some screen presence and acting chops, although not sure she captured the vulnerability that would have made the character more complex - which I thought was in the book (but again it has been awhile).

After all that, it is not a bad thing to watch if you want to kill time if you have a version of it for free, but is longer and more dour than it should be, and Gale p

and I wish there was an edit function so I could delete the last three words and add a period....

Christie loved the plot of a scorned lover usually being part of murdering the hussy who thought she could take away the boyfriend or husband but - plot twist! - the husband or boyfriend was in on it and not in love with the hussy after all. She had some real life drama of her husband having a mistress, and she blamed the mistress, of course.

I couldn't understand what Branagh was saying half the time. His accent was too much.

Watched it this past Friday night. Horrible. Stilted acting, clunky direction, poorly scripted. The obviousness of the green screen effect in so many scenes was atrocious. What I hated most was how the story turned Poirot into yet another hero with a tragic/tortured past who became who he is because of trauma response. Utterly lame. Especially awful was turning his delightful mustache affectation into a fucking mask to cover war wounds. GTFO with that maudlin tripe.

Ugh. I'm all up in my feelings about this remake, but I was so angry at how bad the movie turned out. I should always expect the worse from Hollywood by now, so that disappointment is on me.

^ worst not worse. Ugh.

Branagh was apparently determined to make Poirot his "own" unique character.

Uh, Poirot IS a unique character.

Agatha Christie's...

He's an odd little fusspot who is incredibly vain and moody. PLENTY to play there.

Finney, Ustinov and especially Suchet were able to find ways to put their own stamp on Poirot without fucking up the character.

Of course that untalented hambone Branagh had to butch him up and make him a melancholy heterosexual pining for lost youth/love.

Meh.

Nice write-up on the far-superior original!

Was Jennifer Saunder’s part cut? Wondering why her character was even there.

The dancing scene at the club only demonstrated that Armie Hammer still can't dance. It was supposed to be sexy, but it was uncomfortable to watch. I kept thinking I bet Gal Gadot's skin is crawling. He's such a creeper. And don't get me started on that "British" accent...

Seems fitting that Arnie’s veneers made a lasting impression

Armie's moustache was lame and accentuated his poorly formed lips. Every time I looked at his mouth, all I could see was John Candy's similarly moustachioed mouth in Planes, Trains and Automobiles. Yuck.

I just watched this on HBO and wanted to delete the recording after 30 minutes but my husband was caught up in it. I’ve never read an Christie so I’m not sure if Poirot’s history was an add on in the movie. I thought Gal Gadot was supposed to be a beauty but I don’t see it. The murderous couple were voids, especially the woman. Mia Farrow was great in that part. I thought Sanders and French were wasted and I wondered about the “wokeness” in the casual acceptance of the black performers. It’s out of whack for the period. If everyone had acknowledged them then I would’ve accepted their parts in the story. Who knew Sophie Okenedo was such a good singer.

[quote]I wondered about the “wokeness” in the casual acceptance of the black performers.

I think it would've made more sense if they accepted them as entertainers, but refused to let them eat dinner with them, hang out, etc. I realize that's ugly behavior, but it would've been more accurate for the period & would've created a reason for real resentment and suspicion when people start turning up dead.

I thought the movie would go there when the mother is revealed to have hired Poirot to investigate her precious son's lover.

I hated Bateman as Bouc and am disappointed at his return. He was the most anonymous character in MOTOE. Just what the movie needed, an all star cast with an anonymous C-list British posho.

I hated the moustache and Branagh’s “hey! I’m straight!” backstory.

I hate the fact that the screen oozes Branagh’s ego. As Poirot he is badly cast and just not very good. But as Director he makes the piece more about Poirot than anything else.

The film is garish in CGI, it looks as though they barely set foot out of the studio.

The original DOTN was almost like a classic piece of theatre but beautifully shot in Egypt (and with studio scenes). This film takes a good story and dampens it down to suit its Director.

Branagh is at his best when directed by someone else. He can be a very sensitive and charming performer. But Christie is about expert plotting and her management of large casts of disparate characters who find themselves together while peppered with a bit of heartache. The way Poirot just centred and turned into an almost Holmesian character is a fundamental mistake.

This movie had such a wealth of talent — Annette Bening, Sophie Okenedo, Saunders and French, etc. — all of whom are underused. Meanwhile, the two most boring and mediocre actors (Gal Gadot and Armie Hammer) get the lion’s share of screen time. What a waste.

Armie on the dance floor bumping and grinding to black music gave me so much secondhand embarrassment. The actress playing Jacqueline was working overtime for both of them, the poor dear.

Was Armie shaking his big cock?

[quote] I think it would've made more sense if they accepted them as entertainers, but refused to let them eat dinner with them, hang out, etc. I realize that's ugly behavior, but it would've been more accurate for the period & would've created a reason for real resentment and suspicion when people start turning up dead.

If they were guests of the wedding party as the Letitia Wright character is as a school friend of the bride, if she were a daughter of an ambassador or somesuch they would have dined with her, it would be bad form not to. But they would be rude nasty cunts and cold shouldered her at every opportunity.

[quote] Who knew Sophie Okenedo was such a good singer.

She’s not. She was lipsynching to Sister Rosetta Tharpe and Mavis Staples.

Which brings me to my issue with the casting. British actors playing Americans or French makes this seems low budget.

[quote]Gal Gadot can't act and she only has 2 facial expressions, while Annette Bening was spectacular as usual.

I agree about Bening and liked how her character was styled. That said, I spent most of the film confusing her character with Lansbury's in the 1978 version.

[quote]Sanders and French

Really, R163?

In any case, what's the deal with Branagh and Tom Bateman(and Adam Garcia)?