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If you were ever kidnapped, your kidnappers would end up returning you after having to go through hours of hearing you talk obsessively about  _________.

by Anonymousreply 66January 19, 2022 12:20 AM

...the 50 best gay porn scenes of the past 25 years, complete with graphic descriptions of the action in each scene.

by Anonymousreply 1January 17, 2022 5:05 AM

Any topic, really. But likely criticizing their methods.

Though in a similar situation, it was convincing them that the school, friends, colleagues, family, places I'd volunteer, a host of people would come looking for me and rather than disposing of me, it would be better to take me an emergency psychiatric hospital in another town because they would likely ignore the injuries and just look at the state I was in as having a breakdown. Which while hoping for an alternative, they still did. . . for two weeks, anyway.

by Anonymousreply 2January 17, 2022 5:06 AM

German Shepherds

by Anonymousreply 3January 17, 2022 5:07 AM

Julia Child

by Anonymousreply 4January 17, 2022 5:13 AM

Marginal Propensity to Consume, as the key determinant of the Keynesian multiplier.

by Anonymousreply 5January 17, 2022 5:13 AM

Prince Andrew and whether he has retained the use of HRH while in private.

by Anonymousreply 6January 17, 2022 5:45 AM

The time HE bought cilantro instead of parsley.

by Anonymousreply 7January 17, 2022 5:48 AM

threads i read about on DL

by Anonymousreply 8January 17, 2022 5:51 AM

My “Barbie” collection.

by Anonymousreply 9January 17, 2022 6:21 AM

Salma Hayek.

by Anonymousreply 10January 17, 2022 6:38 AM


by Anonymousreply 11January 17, 2022 6:43 AM

"Golden Girls"!

by Anonymousreply 12January 17, 2022 6:45 AM

Joan Crawford and Mommie Dearest

by Anonymousreply 13January 17, 2022 6:48 AM

My cat. Showing pictures of my cat. Comparing him to their cat. Telling them their cat is ugly. Telling their cat that it’s ugly.

by Anonymousreply 14January 17, 2022 6:53 AM

Abe Vigoda

by Anonymousreply 15January 17, 2022 7:19 AM

I can wax obsessive on so many topics, it’s hard to choose. Dogs, The Beatles, why the light switches are dirty and how best to clean them…

by Anonymousreply 16January 17, 2022 7:31 AM

" Hamilton" the musical should have been about Margaret Hamilton. I'd even constantly singing the songs I'd created in my head bong before the kidnapping.

by Anonymousreply 17January 17, 2022 7:36 AM

Why this isn't turning into a scene from a porno and what a rip off this kidnapping is.

by Anonymousreply 18January 17, 2022 11:19 AM

How the pH of drinking water is the key to health and vitality and that a K***** water filter is an incredible investment in their health, and the filter would pay for itself in only a few months, and if their kidnapping friends were interested in buying filters, you could get them a BIG discount….

by Anonymousreply 19January 17, 2022 11:43 AM

Bewitched and York vs. Sargent

by Anonymousreply 20January 17, 2022 12:00 PM

how when I was kidnapping gay guys, we did it so much better.

by Anonymousreply 21January 17, 2022 12:11 PM

How terrible mother was...

by Anonymousreply 22January 17, 2022 1:00 PM


by Anonymousreply 23January 17, 2022 1:13 PM

How hot they are.

(What? If I’m being kidnapped at least lemme try to get a little sumpin sumpin!)

by Anonymousreply 24January 17, 2022 1:16 PM

I never worry about things like that, OP.

Fat people are hard to kidnap.

by Anonymousreply 25January 17, 2022 1:17 PM

Number theory

by Anonymousreply 26January 17, 2022 1:18 PM

the lack of civility today

by Anonymousreply 27January 17, 2022 1:19 PM

Bea Arthur

by Anonymousreply 28January 17, 2022 1:19 PM

Their poor speaking and grammar skills

by Anonymousreply 29January 17, 2022 1:21 PM

Captain & Tennille.

by Anonymousreply 30January 17, 2022 1:26 PM

R29, that would surely get you killed.

by Anonymousreply 31January 17, 2022 1:27 PM

R23 wins. The answer is always FOLLIES.

by Anonymousreply 32January 17, 2022 1:27 PM

Myself, of course.

by Anonymousreply 33January 17, 2022 1:28 PM

A lengthy discussion of the career of Vivian Vance and the mistreatment of her by her costars.

by Anonymousreply 34January 17, 2022 1:30 PM


by Anonymousreply 35January 17, 2022 1:31 PM

Any man who kidnaps me may want to return me, after he hears that I have kidnap fantasies. So, I would constantly criticize his techniques and methods....

"You cannot bind my wrists in front of me, it's too easy for me to get loose."

"Are you kidding...a cleave gag? To gag a man properly involves some form of stuffing in the mouth, then a cleave gag, then a OTM gag, followed by duct tape!"

"One strip of tape? Are you for real? You need to take that roll and wrap it around my head several times?"

"Now that you've got me tied up and gagged properly, you will have to keep me on edge for the duration."

And if he gets the ransom paid, he'll have to deal with the fact that I don't want to be released!

by Anonymousreply 36January 17, 2022 1:41 PM

Speaking about the wrong performers chosen to portray iconic roles, like Lucille Ball for Mame, Audrey Hepburn for Eliza Doolittle, Madonna for Evita Peron, and so on.

by Anonymousreply 37January 17, 2022 1:49 PM

Auntie Mame 24/7

And trust me, it would be ghastly.

by Anonymousreply 38January 17, 2022 2:01 PM

The original Broadway cast of "Follies!"

by Anonymousreply 39January 17, 2022 2:29 PM

How great New York City was until Bloomberg was elected mayor and killed everything that made the city special.

by Anonymousreply 40January 17, 2022 2:29 PM

my love for both Barbra and Liza.

by Anonymousreply 41January 17, 2022 2:33 PM

The dangers of getting up in the middle of the night to pee and all the horrid things that have happened to me.. My deep admiration and undying love for Miss Debbie Reynolds!!! Just LOVE her! I know we all agree she's the greatest all around entertainer the world has ever know. I know all her signature songs and the accompanying dance steps and can perform them as not wanted.

They will pay me to get away..

by Anonymousreply 42January 17, 2022 2:40 PM


by Anonymousreply 43January 17, 2022 2:47 PM

Throwing shade about the décor of the place where you're being held, and using descriptive RuPaul gay lingo while doing so.

by Anonymousreply 44January 17, 2022 2:53 PM


by Anonymousreply 45January 17, 2022 2:55 PM

"My husband DIED!"

by Anonymousreply 46January 17, 2022 3:01 PM

The best way to make lasagne (among other Italian foods).

by Anonymousreply 47January 17, 2022 3:05 PM

"OK, how about THIS outfit? Does THIS one make me look 10 years younger? Be honest!"

by Anonymousreply 48January 17, 2022 3:12 PM

Financials scandals from 1985& to present day!! Why Ron& Nancy Reagan started the assault on the middle class in America& why it matters today in 2022? Why you should have a will& where you should invest the monies u are stealing from me. Why Hawaiian shirts only should be worn on vavcation?

by Anonymousreply 49January 17, 2022 3:19 PM

I wouldn’t have to say a word.

by Anonymousreply 50January 17, 2022 3:20 PM

The Golden Girls, and to a lesser extent TV shows from the mid-1960s to 1980s.

by Anonymousreply 51January 17, 2022 3:49 PM

R38 Talk about EVERYTJING in Gloria Upson speak.

by Anonymousreply 52January 17, 2022 3:51 PM

Robby Benson

by Anonymousreply 53January 17, 2022 3:54 PM

I am not much of a talker but I can whine like a champ about almost anything.

by Anonymousreply 54January 17, 2022 4:29 PM

Whatever it is you talk about, use your gay voice to express it.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 55January 17, 2022 4:47 PM

I LOVE this thread - thanks OP. So rare to have a purely funny, lighthearted - delightfully gay - thread.

For me, it would be about the need to save the money they get for my ransom to ensure it lasts them well into their 80s. How the stock market is a gambling den and real estate is the best investment they can make with the money.

by Anonymousreply 56January 17, 2022 5:01 PM

......the superiority of East and West Coast living and how it makes those living there superior in every way to the inconsequential little people who must live in the 'flyover' states in between.

I'd be home in time for cocktails.

by Anonymousreply 57January 17, 2022 7:01 PM

Craft beer

by Anonymousreply 58January 17, 2022 8:43 PM

I just dumped r42 on the side of the road.

And I’m not even a kidnapper.

by Anonymousreply 59January 17, 2022 8:44 PM


My pets

by Anonymousreply 60January 17, 2022 10:48 PM


by Anonymousreply 61January 18, 2022 9:33 PM

^^Oh, who the hell would talk about bumps?

That’s not gonna get you too far.

by Anonymousreply 62January 18, 2022 9:34 PM

how fucked they are going to be if anything happened to me.

by Anonymousreply 63January 18, 2022 9:44 PM

The JFK assassination.

by Anonymousreply 64January 18, 2022 10:43 PM

anime, manga, manhwa, donghua...

by Anonymousreply 65January 18, 2022 11:35 PM

... my love/hate obsession with Jakob Dylan.

by Anonymousreply 66January 19, 2022 12:20 AM
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