Jack Grealish, part Nine: What Presence!

The Times say he’s ‘misfiring’. Ooh, Matron!

Paywall…summary?

Robby Benson has a similar backside.

Looks like somebody was rubbing their cawk on his butt because there’s a big wet spot that he’s hiding with that shirt being pulled down. He’s a slut.

He has a lot of butt crack sweat...

R3 who? Please provide pics for comparison.

R4 I noo. Wouldn’t trade him in, like, but he is hard work.

Try me best to keep him in check, though, and he is better behaved with a firm hand. He noos now he has to have my permission if he wants to get fooked by other paypul.

Baggy underwear = not flattering

Jack’s getting hauled in front of the Beak for a FOURTH motoring offense.

He really should just have his license revoked, it’s not as if he can’t afford a personal driver.

When he’s not drunk or high or cum-delirious, he’s inevitably exhausted, so to have him behind a wheel at any point is a liability.

if manchester city are “in another league” like all the arselicking commentators constantly say then give them a seperate league to play in by themselves and let them rot alone thanks

bunch of smurfs playing football. jack is smurfette though

Jack biking away from his critics...🙏

Lads who do the Man City twitter account saying ‘@JackGrealish vs @BernardoCSilva Who comes out on top...? 👀’

Well it wasn’t ever gunna be Grealish was it? He hasn’t topped in his life and he’s not about to start when there’s fresh cock to be had 🐓

R8 it could be worse tbf..

Got to feel so sorry for Jack man😔

Played for his boyhood club his entire life, for many years through all the lows. Fans adored him and would do anything for him. He trusted the club and the fans with his heart, and always shared his feelings with his supporters, in particular on his favourite players and teams in the game—like how influential the likes of Coutinho/Suarez/Stevie G. were on him (even once wrote Tweets calling Stevie a ‘dream manager’ and Suarez his ‘favourite player ever’...)

Then the fateful sad day comes when he is traded and leaves his only home....in the very season in which his icons are bought on to join his boyhood club, oweing to the funds that came from Jack’s own sale. Jack’s dream team assemble, all while he holds the bench at Man City and has to miss out on everything of which he dreamt.

You couldn’t even write something like this. It’s too real and tragic.

Gifted athlete, working-class trash stud, buckets of charm, gorgeous all around.

He has a great ass

Need Jack to just totally bottle it further and further for at least good 18 months then do something really damning (but not criminal or absolutely amoral) in public, so that he drops down the pyramid about five tiers and therefore has to play in the National Leagues or nothing at all. All part of my masterplan to get him eligible for play with my beloved Hereford F.C.🙏 🐄

Jack plays the way we play anyway, on the front foot and with a view to taking risks on the pitch. And atm we already have about ten Midlanders in the squad (half of them Brummies), and one of them’s the Skipper. Our grounds and our city are just an hour’s drive from his hometown, so he won’t be nearly as homesick. And there’s no pressure, he can play how he likes so long as we get promoted. He’d fit in perfectly.

Jimmy Carr’s take on Brummagem dialect 💀

“‘Owamya?’ (beat) Poorly educated?”

R8 has a point yenno. All that money and these football slags still can’t get underwear that actually fits and looks attractive..

r14 Mary!!

R20 mock at will, but understand the absolute vicissitudes that Jack Girlies (derogatory and affectionate) are going through right now. This is heavy.

jack getting battered in the group chat tonight i reckon. i know i’d be a cunt about it if my mate had his trim done like that

Boyfriend? You are kidding, right?

R23 yeah course just bantah innit🥅

Love the crack sweat mark on his underwear

free as the wind, wild as a wolf, not inviting love but laughing with the promise of it

only in the 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 kit tho!!

Um to not alarm anyone but why does it look like he has six toes?

The Midlands doesn’t need more bad press about inbreeding honestly...

Five or six toes he is still mighty attractive.

R7 They look good together.

He posted an Instagram story the other day from his carpet cleaner service. They did a deep cleaning job on his carpets. No doubt lots of heavily encrusted cum in those carpets before the cleaning service came by.

I wanna be that bicycle seat, R11.

He is so sweet.

R30 hahaha he really posted about house cleaning on his socials

so the Virgo in him does jump out sometimes

more sweat for R25😘

R32 yeah he’s defo sweet—like devil’s food cake that’s addictive and really bad for you but somehow still worth the rush (of fucked-up blood sugar)..

Can’t be platonic about a treat like him 🍰

The gym equipment sees more of that pretty body than we do. Shame.

R29 yes, perfect couple them two! Opposites attract and that.

And you know Hendo & Jack go back a while, several years by now...

‘Twas love at first sight for them, in the spring of 2015 when they first met on the Wembley pitch for that fateful FA Cup final. Almost like something out of a film. Hendo was only the Vice-captain for that match, but he ran plays like he was the boss, and anyone could see how impressed Jack was by him. For his part, Jack danced circles around an excellent Liverpool team like a maddening dream; Hendo couldn’t leave him alone or take his eyes off him. They’ve been obsessed with each other ever since.

Helps a bit of course that Jack and his Villa nicked the chance of a sendoff trophy off Stevie G., denting Gerrard’s glorious reign as Liverpool Skipper, and making Hendo’s LFC victory in 2019 all the sweeter and more special. Jordan’s gone over Jack just for that. Jack would do it all again for free, because he knows Jordan is the best Skipper that Liverpool ever will have.

And now that Hendo’s managed to help get his gorgeous lad into the England squad proper, knock on wood there’s no injuries or other problems for either of them, so next year they can have a blissful World Cup run being together for a Xmas out in the desert.

The duality of Man—loving Jack for who he is and wanting him to be happy, but also getting sick pleasure out of booing him and watching him abjectly fail.

A little present for the playlist dedicated to Jack, at this difficult time for him career-wise.

Reckon he’d really resonate with these lyrics..

[quote]🎶 Demerol castaway, codeine frequent soma-holiday/If I was a morgue, no-one would die/This atonal score for an arrhythmic dancing on an empty dance floor/I’m dying the death of a madman, for?/Standard procedure, I serve no use for you...

At the end of the latest Inside City video, you can hear Stonesy & Walks making fun of Jack’s dopey accent.

They can talk, though, sounding like an Emmerdale extra and a Chuckle Brother respectively. At least Midlanders have no illusions about the way they’re perceived.

^^isolated Stonesy impression😂

He’s a prick for that but he has to know Jack will just tell Hendo that he’s being bullied and the bus to Wembley for the March fixture vs Switzerland will be very uncomfortable for our Johnathan.

Yesterday vs Soton, our darling brat Jack started a fight with Romeu.

Baby, no, this isn’t how you win friends and influence people. Or how you secure your spot to play in the World Cup.

Curious now to find out what it was that pushed Jack’s buttons? There’s a player getting at him or fouling him every game, he’s used to that and doesn’t usually blow up. Romeu must have hit a specific nerve.

While watching the Southhampton match the NBC commentator noted several times Foden and Grealish kept "changing positions". My mind imagined them changing positions doing something more intimate than playing football on the pitch.

R43 omg naaaah when it comes to men Lil Phil is so not Jack’s type🧚‍♂️ too physically small and too needy and too much baggage (teenage dad from the ends yknow). Like Jack would stick lips on him on their lads holidays for the laugh or in training as an affectionate thing but that’s as far as it goes.

Reckon in private Jack likes a bit of stability me. Fancies a strong together bloke with a dominant streak but not one who really needs him that much. You can see Jack melt when he has to come up against a unit of a player, it’s like his pussy is quaking!

Drunk again

Ladies, this guy is probably straight.

R46 yep, probably. Mostly. Pretty much.

If you don’t count headers and handballs off a mate in dark hotel rooms after a bender. Or adrenaline-crash shower fun when everyone else has dressed. Or Marbella Villa orgies where the ratio of birds to lads is suspiciously low. But that’s just Lads! Doesn’t actually count, does it...

R45 Jack needs to stop posting Ginny content or I’ll fall in love?? Real threat and possiblity

also taking pics next to a handsome fella like John makes Jack look less pretty and glam so he should probably stop for the sake of his brand

[quote] NBC commentator noted several times Foden and Grealish kept "changing positions". My mind imagined them changing positions doing something more intimate than playing football

That’s quite an interesting imagination you’ve got, lad...🤨😏Jack’s got very specific needs yaknoo...

the way Matty Cash is the exact copy of Jack but upgraded🙏😔

Down to the falling over so he gets attention from the team Daddies.

I desperately want him to sit on my face

R45 awww its the way the pink of his sweatshirt matches his cheeks🐇🌸🍒

Nd he looks so cute and peggable in his white “im bi” ripped jeans

(McGinn is really fit tho so odds on jack was getting ignored by the girls all night)

R51 catch jack on a night he’s been hard at the gear and he’ll probably let you eat him out, got that vibe hasn’t he

Sasha is with him in UAE and looking very hot (albeit plastic & Barbie).

Hope while they’re there she trolls for cock & cunt as well. She shouldn’t miss out on a chance of hot illegal desert fun while her man shags his way through an entire hotel.

Wow, his girlfriend is Barbie

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He really is punching with Sash though, she’s objectively better-looking than he is by miles.

Their sauce levels are inverted however. She comes over oddly sexless for a gorgeous woman.

Alright so now it’s come out that apparently the vs. Soton matchday confrontation was over Romeu repeatedly *pinching* Jack? 🦀 English Prem is so wild and fruity!

Reports don’t say exactly where on Jack’s person or how often and firmly these ‘pinches’ were happening, but given what we aficionados know about Jack’s anatomy, fair to say there are...well....hmmm....obvious places to put fingers on him...

come the next Soton-LFC match Hendo’s guna pull up on Britannia Rd. and straight up human sacrifice Oriol on the pitch in full view of all the fans in St. Marys. blood all over the grass. as he should cuz no one touches Jordan’s baby!

i just feel like he eats pussy really well

lucky broad

R51😘

is it me or is he low-key getting a slight tinge of manc creeping in his accent?

he’ll be on the red stripe hanging out his beautiful arse in piccadilly gardens before long

Jamie Carragher & Gary Neville gave Jack a little namecheck on the most recent Sky MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL special. Not in a very positive light, though, unfortunately (the topic of discussion was player loyalties re. transfers).

^^OT but if Lampsy couldn’t get Gerrard to go blue then noone ever could. They were in love actually😔

If anyone’s in UAE atm or going Dubai Expo this weekend, you could peep Jack there doing a cute little Q&A at Festival Garden.

That said, the event is massively attended and takes place in a desert area that is literal miles wide, so if you wanted to catch him in the crowds or after he’s got off the stage, it will be like looking for a very slutty needle in a big dry homophobic haystack.

R46 the Jack vibe is anyone who can make him squirt he’s not picky babe

Pundits saying West Ham’s Declan Rice is worth more on paper as an all-round consistent footballer than Jack is. They’re probably right.

But Deccers isn’t as delicious, so there!

Waiting for the match where another player calls Grealo “ugly hairband c*nt” to his face and tells him to shut up loud enough the pitchside mics & cameras get it. Never have I more desperately needed a meme to replicate.

R45, I haven't seen McGinn look that happy for months.

R69 no wonder.

Ginny has absolutely had Jack bent over a hotel bed and gasping many a time before now. Jack might be a traitor and might belong to another man now, but one doesn’t forget a taste that sweet in a hurry.

Threesome with Hendo and Jack would be almost too much to handle.

R71 next level passion they’ve got. Means the world to Jack that he found Hendo and that they’re both England players.

Paul Merson, on Jack: “Cream rises to the top!”

Is there anyone left who hasn’t extracted 🍦 from Grealish at this point?

Jack prefers a nighttime match to a daytime one. Lazy whore.

[link won’t post so➡️TikTok: @england/video/6972939413546372357]

R71 Harry Kane gets to enjoy the Hendo/Jack experience in this fic, the jammy prick.

It’s actually pretty hot, even with the presence of Harry and all his slush-mouthed giraffe-legged awkwardness.

Every time I think “oh, we’re exaggerating Jack’s stupidity, no-one’s that dumb, we’re memeing him for a laugh, just bants”, he does or says something that confirms, no, he actually is a few clicks off clinical retardation.

In Jack’s most recent misadventure, we struggle with the concept of sand...in a desert.

[quote] GREALISH: “I’ve learnt things I’ve never thought I’d learn (at City).”

Well, that’s an ominous statement.

Pep is always all over Jack, physically, without Jack seeming to reciprocate. Makes me uncomfortable.

Of the 11 that started the Championship playoff final 3 years ago, only John McGinn and Tyrone Mings remain active players at Aston Villa Football Club. Of the 7 subs on the bench 3 years ago, only one player (Hause) remains.

Hopefully this signifies a new golden dawn for AVFC.

Jack trying to insert himself into the Dele drama smh. You’d think he’d want to keep his massive thick head down lately...

At the 1 hour 57 minute mark in this recording of the Radio 5 Live commentary of the Czech Republic-England Euro 2020 game, Jack accidentally and essentially admits that his Dad is a heavy drinker who pressured him to play football (presumably to escape the stressful home situation of raising a profoundly disabled daughter). Seems like quite a sad, difficult background.

@ R79

Could he look any dumber? I say it with love.

Those poor Evertonians thinking Dele has anything to give them, that Lampard is going to get something out of him that Poch at the end, Jose and Conte couldn't. .

R81 Jack’s got a whole repertoire of stupid looks, ranging from cute-dumb to perky-bimbo to braindead-slut.

R82 Del went to Ev on a free and anyway wherever he goes he will bring sauce bitchiness & 🔥!!!! It’s a win for the Toffees!!

He’s been drinking before training AGAIN.

He is going to get such a bollocking off Gareth & Hendo & Kane when he rocks up at St. George’s in March—if he gets called up for England at all after this, that is.

What I find interesting is that he stays so slim and apparently healthy despite his inherited drinking problem. What medical care a Premier League can buy...

The only big tells that he still boozes on the reg are his dishevelment and slurred speech, his vacillating work ethic & attitude, and his red flushed face. Oh, and the fact that both his ‘girlfriend’ of ten years and his dad admit that they also binge-drink to cope.

Just looked it up and Jack’s currently having a Jupiter Square Jupiter transit. Lesser-known natal nasty, but even still :/ would explain his creative dry spell and his gaffes and his sudden lack of privacy and his addictions ramping up.

Nawh🙃

Rumour has it: the Man City boardroom have admitted behind closed doors that signing Grealish was a mistake and a waste of money, and that the club should have either held out for Harry Kane or just kept their money for the January transfer.

Is it just me or do almost none of the ibb links in these threads actually work?

BREAKING!!!

Old photos have resurfaced that show a younger Jack had ear piercings🍓

Today appears to be a happy day for Jack at the training grounds and it appears his campaign to seduce Kevin De Bruyne may be working.

[quote] When Team England (with a loan signing of a great Belgian) win!!

R92 Jack is such a despo little Pick-me ent he? No class and no game on him, just begging for it the second he sees a hot daddy.,

filthy slut just wants to know what it’s like to get railed to sweating and squealing and drooling by the thick Staminet-can cock of a 6ft Frank🤤of course there’s no brains left to shag out of Jack but KDB will give it a good try!

That’s fine if you really need Debruyne to give you a good seeing-to, pet. I’m happy to loan my baby out to such a legend of the game, and you know how much I support anything you really want to do, especially if it helps you get on better with your mates at work and put more focus into your training. But remember the rules—make sure you reciprocate well (not having people going round saying my prize slut is lazy, rude and selfish), be good for him and be discreet, and directly after you both finish your session I want you straight back home stripped naked in front of me so you can me all about it in detail while I’m fucking Kevin’s cum out your loose used hole. Those are the terms, Jack darling, take it or leave it.

in his bald era😔

who knew the moonstone evolution of jack grealish was jack wilshere

R92 the funniest part about that post is that the City social media team had to tell Jack to edit it, because initially he called KDB a ‘Belgium’ rather than ‘Belgian’.

Luckily, some tricky quick-fingered little web gremlins caught the slip for posterity.

Maybe Jack needs a dependable stand-in cock for when Hendo gets too busy; someone familiar he trusts and looks up to, someone responsible that will sort his head out but also not catch feelings. And someone with a massive cock.

once again abeg🙏Jack please to come to Hereford🐄

You can hog and have as much of the ball all you want Angel! No rules just vibes! Drink and scrap and fuck your way through the Bananarama League we don’t mind! Everyone on the team and at the club will be there to service you only Princess!

Plus our Skippah speaks your native language! You can pop back home in less than two hours drive too!

Pep and his good little soldiers won’t love and take care of you like we will😔

the superlative jack: on the gear in one of his cheap scally fits exposing his rugburnt knees and surrounded by other bigger lads

Nice to see brunet!Jack make a return, and that he didn’t go dead short with his hair. Still a dodgy trim, though. Phil Foden has to be banned from recommending his barber to other footballers (or anyone, really).

Wonder if Sash is gonna go back to brunette now, as well? Stand by your man, and all that...

naur stop now this is too funny sash has bought moonstones to ‘heal the relationship’🐎

darlin listen yeah hes a chavvy bislut waster manchild from a bad background whos conditioned to act out and believe hes entitled to sex from anyone who gives him the time of day

this will never go your way so best to just leave it and pick up a new more stable and mature man whos addicted to your pussy alone (and considering youre a famous 9 catalogue model with legs like trees whos has elite cock before that should be doddle for you)

Jack is all over media for signing a little disabled fan’s shirt and giving her a hug, and everyone is gushing that he’s the nicest guy in the game and somehow set apart from the grimy systemic rubbish that’s come out recently. Genuine I’m sure, but says a lot about the low expectations we have for footballers and how quick we are to forgive and extol them.

Clock how he holds the pen as well😂😂he didn’t pass Year 2 I swear!

^^^better link here.

Says a lot that the Western player on the Northern team full of Southerners was the only one to stop for 60 seconds and give this girl a cuddle. Guess him having a disabled sister means he has more perspective than most on that score (probably the only other thing besides football Jack has any sort of advanced knowledge about, come to think of it).

R82 funny how Dele gets dragged by tabloids for occasionally wearing a pearl necklace and stylish womens’ fit jeans out to dinner

while Declan Rice is getting into shower orgies with the FA Cup team he beat and getting away with it?

Makes you think actually....they're BOTH high camp

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Looks like Kevin de Bruyne is warming up more and more for our Jack.

R106 ugh at Jack’s “fuck-me” smile there!! and the way he’s tilting his hips and slightly bending back to make himself look flexible and more breedable!!! desgustang

just...doesn’t care there’s a million people watching him spin out into cockdumb trance does he?

Fancies Keinan Davis too, does Our Jack?

They should really study his sexual stamina in a lab. It could be groundbreaking.

Jack doesn't believe in bros before hos, he believes in combining bros and hos. More horny fun that way.

R109 yep!!! And Jack *is* the Ho in that equation😋

No-one knows that better than his former Daddy and manager Deano Smith...

Ah so we were wrong about his hair, he’s actually kept the length and gone straw-blond. Very Wurzel Gummidge.

Ofc Jack is getting deservedly rinsed for it. Some fans have said he has the ‘Karen’🤦‍♀️

got this hairdresser who looks like Jeffree starr who sometimes shows me his gay onlyfans content while my hair dries and settles

and his OF is acc less camp than those pictures of Jack in the skyblue cutoff jacket and his trade jeans

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pep [bald, jealous]: si jack i think you should go blonde. more than you believe. bleach the fuck out of it. maybe some horrible layers too

I could have sworn I just saw an article about Grealish getting his hair buzzed off.

R115 yeah he curved us. from his ig we thought he was getting a trim but it was hilights :/

all this time we thought he was gyalis but mans is acc just tryna get wagged up👠

whaaaa now ppl are saying it’s an old pic from last september? honestly baffled idk what’s going on. this must be how jack feels when he’s been on a weekender🍸

Some Arab bloke working the Expo: (stretch/spread?) your legs!

Jack, automatically complying and already slipping into subspace but still conscious enough to put up a feeble token protest: hhuuAah?

Jack wears dark ck briefs if anyone wanted to know🗣

Nike Phantom (or its predecessor the Tiempo):

Always worn with rolled-down socks. The player who chooses these boots is deeply interested and invested in two aspects of football and two aspects of football only: shooting from distance, and cynical fouling. They are world-class at both. and at absolutely nothing else. In fairness they also can be good at running into the tackle, if not far too reckless about injury and the rules of the game at times. Little accuracy, shocking pace and no stamina to speak of, though.

This player will have either shoulder length hair with brassy hilights and too much product, or a Jarhead buzzcut—no in-between. Once had an ear pierced when absolutely banjoed, but balks at tattoos. He still insists as he has done since childhood that the mid-2000s Brazil side is the greatest the world has ever seen, in spite of the march of time & science proving him wrong. Shyly admits to preferring Messi over Ronaldo, but concedes that “Messi hasn’t done it in the Prem” and that is a strike against. Mind-bogglingly awful at general knowledge pub quizzes, and buys teammates drinks to make up for this (and also to apologise for his constant dressing-room pranks, that get less funny every season). Secretly he binge-drinks at home alone to cope with the shame of being traded and dropped from his youth team before he felt ready to go.

This player originally learnt his trade obsessively watching the F2 boys on YouTube and trying to copy their tekkers from a Samsung screen when down the park. To this day, he thinks Jimmy Bullard is the epitome of comedy. This player has on more than one occasion pushed a ref over a peno decision that they know, deep down, was fair and correct. This player has to be reminded 'no slides' every. single. week. He’s only in his mid 20s, but still can’t manage to play 5-a-side these days because the ankles don’t agree anymore. Had potential, but weak feet and a poor attitude ultimately prevents him from making it to the hall of fame.

Jack likes a girl or twenty but evidence tells us he’s never happier than when under a pile of other fit men. Like a pig in shit he is.

I see Jack was completely left off the squad today. Too hungover? Or being saved and rested? I'd like to see him at Everton, if only so he can fall under the wing of Tom Davies and become more risky and less scally chav footballer in his fashion.

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The Man City socials team really do wheel him out for any old rubbish. Got to get the money’s worth I suppose.

But tasting skittles? What are they trying to say?

[quote] I'd like to see him at Everton, if only so he can fall under the wing of Tom Davies and become more risky and less scally chav footballer in his fashion.

R122 couture!Jack would be a fine sight and a massive improvement indeed! Imagine him at Fashion Week in turtleneck knits, or seersucker linens, or a velvet suit perhaps. Dele would certainly put him in better jewellery and fabrics on a casual basis. Tom could sort his hair out for shine & texture. And DCL could teach him about real swag, to displace Jack’s silly childish bravado.

tabloids keep posting these dramatic photos of him kneeling on the pitch all sad and tired to elicit pity

and with each new pic he just looks like an even bigger more shameless slut

+‘Never Tire’ on his shirtsleeve is still funny btw

R126 his legs look good. Good position.

R127 yep ready to be railed within an inch of his overpriced life! Shins and ankles constantly buckling... under the force of his supporting his giant calves when they’re pressed down by the weight of a man...

Sex is probably the one thing Jack has gotten much better at in recent years. All other stats have taken a bad hit, but he takes loads like a pornstar now so at least there’s that👌

Abbie, the girl with cerebral palsy at R103, gave a press statement about her meeting with Jack saying he “smells really nice”.

Now I’m dying to know what aftershave/cologne/deo he wears🤔(I had assumed he was a basic Eros boy but that smells vile so it can’t be)..

Maybe he can Zoom with Abbie soon from the Priory he is undoubtedly currently cloistered at🤫

^^^the eagle-eyed Tattle frauen have been stalking socials of Jack & Sasha for clues about what scents they wear, and in their bathroom cupboards one lady spotted what look to be flankers of V&R Spicebomb Infrared (a basic boy scent if ever there was), Dior Fahrenheit (a skanky fuckboy classic), and more intriguingly this niche kinky androgynous spicy-sweet vanilla/leather musk scent from a brand called Initio Parfums Prive ‘Absolute Aphrodisiac’...as if Jack needs any help in that department! (maybe it’s Sasha’s bottle though, it is a unisex fragrance after all..)

Hoping Jack smells like the latter, as Spicebomb and Fahrenheit are genuinely both so cheap and vile-smelling🤢

so submissive and easy he’d take his thong off for a fucking traffic light

So that SportsBible blind item from a year ago about the up-and-coming England star with the addiction to Zim-zims with voddy...that was about defo Jack then wasn’t it...😥

Sleeping pills washed down with booze sounds rancid. Anyone here ever done that? Reckon you’d have to be very depressed or overworked to stomach doing it..

ewwww rags are seeding sickly jack/sash pix

he doesn’t kiss her or smile genuinely in any of them tho lol

^^^actually there is one pic of Jack showing Sasha some physical affection, but it’s errr...hmmmm...well

Chaotic Neutral:

Something off about this one but still you know he’s gonna be happily waiting naked in doggy when you come through anyway?

^^^^

looks like our boy has a cute lil coin-slot, dunnit?

R137 si, puedo confirmar!

Qué tremendo orto tiene esa mina...

R137 do we reckon he’s tight?

Garef please daown’t droup mey. Oi’ll be properlay good this toime, oi promiss😰an’ oi can maike meself usefool agynst Switzerland in March, ayven if it’s joost servicin’ the boys before the match loike. Joost let me coom wiv yow...

Emily Atack allegedly vaguebooking about him stringing her along for sex...

Right, like she doesn’t know as well as us that he’s happier getting turned out by some hunky City coach/physio/medic or a rehab counsellor or one of his teammates as we type...

R29/R59 easy to see why jack finds hendo so interesting and so sexy. though jordan is an older more straitlaced player and seemingly a bit vanilla he actually has a very spicy and passionate side that can jump out at random moments

hendo off the pitch: soothing calm bassy monotone voice with a soft kind demeanour hendo on the pitch: yells aggressively til hes red in the face and swears like a sailor who smokes 20 a day

A bit of half-naked Jack, just because we’re all sexy and deserve it in these trying times:

Jack get well soon, bab! We miss your lovely arse..

Younger Jack was such a needy skinny twink. Just wanted physical attention from the bigger older lads didn’t he?

1) Why actually is there an ESPN UK? Who asked for a British branch of this awful network? I don’t know anyone in this country who even subscribes to it or watches it;

2) Why did they spend an hour on yesterday’s programming discussing the failings of Jack, when at this time he isn’t even match-fit and in the squad and won’t be for the foreseeable? If you want to discuss relevant improvements or failings in the current side, why not talk about Sterling or Cancelo or Jesus?;

3) Why is anyone in punditry bothering to talk about C*ty when we all already know they’ve bought themselves the League again this season? What’s the point? More interesting to discuss which team is taking the 2nd-5th place, or getting promoted/relegated...

Poor Jack, eh. Hasn’t worked out for the kid, all this, has it?

Hopefully he’ll play with England next month, and maybe put some feelers out for a move to another club for next season.

Everyone keeps saying that he’ll ‘click’ and make a quantum leap next year (happy to eat crow if that happens), but given his attitude and lifestyle and trajectory I personally can’t envision that happening. His current contract is too big a burden and pressure, it won’t do him any favours.

Often people need graduated jumps to progress and level up in life, and this water is simply too deep and blue for Jack to swim. A struggling or humble lower table Prem club would have been a much better next-step for him (e.g. Southhampton still desperately need a creative midfielder...)

The Jack memes about people falling over in the Storm Eunice winds👌

‘just got out the hotel shower’ vibe 💦

Jack is the highest-femme pillow princess of England’s national team and we need to respect that 👸

If Jack is meant to be resting an injury and/or getting clean then why is he out socialising with celebs?😤

ffs Jack love get a grip, your career and your reputation is on the line here as well as your chance to keep playing with your friends and your bf. Take it serious lad!

death, taxes, spurs beating city😔

American gaylings seem to be unimpressed by Jack. I hope they don’t assume all Brits are like that :/

Youse all think it’s mad memefic to bang on about how much Jack lusts and pines for Hendo, but honestly there’s no need to make anything up because Jack outright simps for the man right in front of everyone.

Like in the England training camp videos from last October (did a recent rewatch to check sth unrelated so I could settle a bet, long story). In the 12th October upload (aptly titled ‘Henderson on fire’), Jack does not leave Hendo alone or get too far away from him. Jack has to stand next to Hendo, train with him or be on his team, otherwise he looks lost and miserable, despite the fact that Jack knows half the squad better (like Mings, Rice & Mount, Chilly, Sancho, Walker, Stones, Sterling, Foden....)

There’s one adorably pathetic moment in that video at around 8m40s, when Hendo leaves Jack for a minute to go over and chat to some of the younger lads, and Jack some metres away looks resentfully and jealously over at Hendo’s turned back with a posture and expression like a kicked puppy.

Jack’s down bad. Luckily, Hendo enjoys the attention...

little American lass: do you ever get scared of Pep?

Jack: *nervous laughter* yEAhr soUMtOYmes

Grealish is hot, but I'm admiring David Goodwillie these days - what a handsome dude!

R156 ugh please just get to fuck with that, genuinely disgusting. If anyone desperately want to talk about rapist footballers, go to the M*son Gr**wood threads instead of bringing these scumbags into the Jack discussion.

Jack is literally acting as the City babysitter and crèche-leader rn😂😂😂they just give him a bell when they need a player to chat to some littluns.

Guess it makes sense though given that his brain-age and education level is about the same as a Year 2/3👨‍👧‍👦

R154 Jack has good taste in men. I would be as close to Hendo as possible, too. Hendo is alfa and I would be serving him anyway he likes.

[quote] Hendo is alfa and I would be serving him anyway he likes.

Yeahr, oi know, that’s wot oi loike mowst abowt’im🐐🏆

Hendo tells mey wot to do sow oi down’t hafta get toyerd an confyowsed finking about’it. Know he’ll alwhys look aftah mey.

Larst noite Liverpool scored six goawls, sow oi let Jordan fook mey six different wayz (anywhiy he wanted). Best noite of moy loife sow far, even bettah than gettin promowted or winning the Champyon’s semi-foinals.

When it cooms to sex oi loike a bitta varietay, but at the end of tha dai, oi alwhys coom back to ‘im💕

R160 lol

Him and Stones have definitely fucked, right?

Too soft and gentle with each other to not have had at least one crazily intense night together.

Him and Stones have definitely fucked, right?

Too soft and gentle with each other not to have shared at least one night of intense passion.

Hendo rails him til he can't think (not such a big job with a brain like Jack's), whereas Stonesy makes sweet sweet love to him.

Jack likes both. He'll take any cock he can get.

[quote] Stonesy makes sweet sweet love to him.

maybe so but wouldn’t wanna be the one having to explain that to Jordan Pickford. if Stonesy’s anyone’s he belongs to Picks :/

and you just know Jord would absolutely leather Jack if he hurt John which would mean Hendo would in turn have to do the same to Picks and then before you know it we’d have half the England squad out of commission😂

R162 hmmm it’s a sexy idea on paper stones/grealish but like who’s the one putting in the work there🖇

jack’s a pillow where he can get away with it (and a cowgirl when he can’t) and stonesy ain’t exactly dominating. johns probably got. a cock as long as his lanky body tho so maybe that helps a bit?

the ‘missing pre-City Jack’ fancams & edits are getting sadder and more agonising by the day

We watching this afternoon’s match against Everton then? In a remarkably quick turnaround, Jack is miraculously recovered enough to come back in the side and start.

Worth a watch I expect just to see Jack & Dele style out their new blue kits (who wore it better?)

love the way football meeeeeeja is wheeling out random medical data analysts to say that jack’s shins aren’t healed and that he won’t be fit for months

ffs just admit the addictions have roared back and he isn’t coping emotionally with prem footie. it’s not even good for him or any other pro athlete who struggles for the world to keep up this pretence..

Wouldn't be surprised if he actually has some sort of psych condition. Seems cyclical, the way he gets a big mysterious "injury" every year and no-one's ever sure when he'll be back. Goes back to training and looks okay, then disappears again, and the details of what's wrong are always so vague. Months at a time seeming to have sorted himself out and be acting sensibly, then the inevitable outburst of recklessness. The drink/drugs are presumably attempts to self-medicate.