Who is the most deeply closeted man in America?

The Senatrice may be in the closet but the door's wide open. Not Hawley. Has to be someone we'd never guess in a hundred years, so I nominate Gronk.

Alec Baldwin

Tom Cotton

Josh Hawley

*bats eyes*

Not Aaron Rodgers. He is very heterosexual

George W Bush

I suspect Hawley is a dinge queen.

R7, I have always wondered about that.

Bradley Cooper is a noted heterosexualist!

Kanye

Tom Cruise

Gavin Newsom

Mitch McConnell

Funny how you never hear about Tom Cruise's "romances" anymore!

I have to go with Hawley; even the mainstream media makes cracks about Lady G. As far as the others, they are people just living their lives, while Hawley would gladly persecute gays to win over the MAGA-ites.

[...]

Bradley Cooper

Oh, sorry, R10, I missed you up there.

Liberace

Allen Ludden (still closeted in heaven)

Howard Stern

Ryan Fucking Seacrest.

^ now that would truly be a shock

(Howard Stern would be the shock)

Alec Baldwin is not in the closet. I totally believe he's had a man down there between his legs but I don't think he's ever fucked another guy and most certainly hasn't taken it in himself. But blowjob? Sure. Getting one doesn't mean you're gay; if you're straight and get head from a guy once in a while, it means you're a sex addict. A mouth is a mouth. And yes, I'd blow him.

Leo DiCaprio.

[...]

Matt Damon

Given how ancient most of these dudes are I'd wager that even if they came out no one would care!

Given how ancient most of these dudes are I'd wager that even if they came everyone would be surprised.

Blow jobs are like shoeshines.

Every so often, a man needs one performed professionally.

Tyler Perry

Eddie Murphy

[quote] Alec Baldwin

Hmmm...what do you call a closeted homosexual who is closeted even to himself and never desires sex with someone with a penis?!

I got it!!! Heterosexual.

[quote] Ryan Fucking Seacrest.

Glass-closeted. He sodomized me with his eyes at the Four Seasons about 7 years ago...and I'm just a 7.5 but I am very tall.

Ryan Seacrest can't be gay. He dated Julianne Hough!

You will never find out who's the most closeted, OP. He is so deep in it, NOBODY will ever find out. NEVER!

tucker Carlson. time to take that butt plug out and live!

[Quote]You will never find out who's the most closeted, OP. He is so deep in it, NOBODY will ever find out. NEVER!

That sounds like Steve Harvey.

I’m still laughing imagining the shock of Howard Stern coming out as gay 😂

Lady Hawley trolls for "Meat" in the Wine department...

showing her naughty bits to the strong men in the grocery...

Mike Pence

Has Mike Pence had a nose job?

No, but he’s had a blowjob.

Oops I said too much already.

Joe Rogan

[quote]Has Mike Pence had a nose job?

I'm not sure about his nose...

But he has had his bussy rejuvenated

[quote] Blow jobs are like shoeshines. Every so often, a man needs one performed professionally.

I'm assuming "professionally" means a man performing a blow job.

Based on the DL threads about blow jobs, I'm guessing not every man is great at giving blow jobs. Lots of comments on other threads about not liking (receiving) blow jobs, not being able to orgasm from a blow job, etc.

[quote] Based on the DL threads about blow jobs, I'm guessing not every man is great at giving blow jobs.

This is true.

Nothing more disappointing than hooking up with a hot guy and getting down to business and he can’t give head well. Such a let down.

Most of these guys are pretty obvious -- where are the guys that no one would ever guess were gay?

Pence

Carl Nassi—oh, wait.

Aaron Rodgers, America's bitchiest queen

[quote]Aaron Rodgers, America's bitchiest queen

I concur.

Shawn Mendes. He's a laughing stock as it is, but still he refuses to admit the obvious.

John Travolta.

Andrew Garfield

Adam Kinzinger

Don Jr.

Probably some megachurch asshole

Michael Bloomberg.

This I know for sure.

I'd fuck Bloomberg. He has teeth like a blue whale, but I'd just think of the money.

Mark Wahlberg tied with Vin Deisel

The Rock

Zac Efron

R53 Omg, their head size difference. What a beautiful couple.

Tom Cotton.

I think (rumored to be) retiring GOP Senator John Thune of South Dakota is the biggest closet case in DC.

From day one I looked at him and thought, "Oh, that's a gay guy". He was supposed to be the next GOP superstar, but that just never happened, and although in the leadership he's really an absolute backbencher nobody. Now after three pointless terms he's fixing to leave.

Why did he never happen? Blackmail? Who knows and who cares, just leave!

^ I remember Thune initially condemned the Trump pussygrabber tape, then basically pulled a "nevermind" and started supporting him. I wondered if he was being blackmailed

R67, Thune announced last week that he has decided to run for re-election, although pro-Trump groups are threatening to primary him:

[quote] he's fixing to leave.

I love you for typing this.

It’s the small things that can make my day.

[...]

R28, you need to stop seeing things as simply black and white. Get out more often and look around, ok?

Charlie Crist

Princes Charles and Andrew. But bi, not gay.

^ Sorry, OP asked for American so I guess they aren't on topic.

R15- The ONLY thing Tom Cruise is romancing is the BONE.

"Zac Efron"

Is he actually closeted-closeted?

There was a not discreet blind item about him moving in with a guy who is supposedly his boyfriend.

Doesn't Zac Efron claim to be straight?

Ryan Reynolds for men. He was openly gay in college, but wanted fane and fortune, and made a deal with the devil.

Sandra Bullock for women. She brings out her photographer “boyfriend” once a year for a staged photo shoot. She had a lesbian partner who lived in a condo she owned innSierra Tower in to about two years ago, but they have broken up.

Sierra Towers? Isn't that where LIZA lives?!

A lot of celebrities have lived there or keep lovers in that building in units they own.

R79

It’s men like Ryan Reynolds and Andrew Garfield that get away with pulling shit like this and then everyone thinks they’re just str8 bros playing around.

Ryan Reynolds raves about the Golden Girls in a Betty White tribute on TV. What straight guy would do this?

R56

I remember when he was “obsessed” with Michael B. Jordan and wanted him to be Spider-Man’s boyfriend.

Andrew Garfield is strange looking. I hope he stays straight.

R79 She was trying to sell that condo (might have sold it actually) just a few months ago, it's a really nice place!

R79- What is the difference, Ryan Reynolds looks GAY from OUTER SPACE.

R85

He’s not straight, idiot. It’s pretty obvious at this point.

Probably someone in sports

Richard Simmons

Why are all these deplorables listed here? Mitch McConnell? Tucker Carlson? We don't claim any of these people - they are not "family."

[quote] What straight guy would do this?

He's probably secure enough with his sexuality that he doesn't care.

Besides, the love for Golden Girls is universal.

Joe Rogan.

Another vote for Miss Aaron Rodgers, super bitch

Leonard DiCaprio

'Amal's "husband".

Yeah R78, but Kevin Spacey did the dame for years and yet he wasn't TRULY closeted.

Anyone can claim to be str8, but is different than a guy always having his fake girlfriends all around, or actually marrying a beard.... I'm looking at you Mr. Cooper

* fid the Same

^^^^^

oh crap....

Did the SAME

R97, but if an actor is still claiming to be straight or still bearding, that still counts as being closeted, even if we may know the truth.

David Muir

Sure R100, but the thread is not about the cynical cases, only about the deeply closeted, even if ALL closet cases are cynical somehow.

If he did the dame, maybe he is not gay!

Lucas Grabeel still pretending to be straight took me out.

R105- Those two HOMOS - Matt Damon and Ben Affleck pretending to be straight REALLY take me out.

R101 I'll agree with David Muir, but I think he has a great newscast and don't think it would really help him to come out, nor is it necessary. I think even here on DL, after Anderson Cooper came out, he's more of a joke than taken seriously. Same with Don Lemon.

Gay men on DL think all men are gay . Sorry toots , not true .

Nah, most of the ones I think are the hottest are straight. Sadly we get the Travoltas and DiCaprios.

"I think even here on DL, after Anderson Cooper came out, he's more of a joke than taken seriously. Same with Don Lemon."

Coming out did not hurt them. I swear, some people make shit up to justify the closet

Tom Selleck

A friend worked with David Muir at Channel 5 in Boston before ABC scooped him up and he swears Muir is not gay.

^ Sure, Jan! I bet he has a girlfriend who lives in Canada

And what’s wrong with that?

R111

David Muir is definitely gay.

Jordan Fisher pings big time to me, but he just got married to a woman during the pandemic.

R116, His favorite color is lavender.

Ted Cruz. His college boyfriend went with them on that infamous Cancun trip.

I think Ryan Reynolds is gay too. His marriage with Blake Lively has gone on way too long. I feel like they’d be divorced by now if he was straight.

But at the same time his marriage with Scarlett was very private.

So I don’t know.

[quote]His favorite color is lavender.

So? What’s wrong with that? Mine is too, actually and—

Oh. I see what you mean.

Ted Cruz got busted cheating on his wife....with women. Don't say he's gay, I don't want that fucker on the team

[quote]Ted Cruz got busted cheating on his wife....with women.

No, he did not.

R122, yes, he did. It was a scandal when he ran for president. And didn't his college roommate say he was always creeping on girls?

David Muir is pretty locked up in the closet.

I’ve always wanted to drink Josh Hawley’s piss

I've always wanted to piss on Josh Hawley

Michael Strahan's divorce records are sealed because his wife testified in her deposition that she walked in on him having sex with a guy.

^ I remember that

R127

Holy GMA!

OOOH good one r127

Former Governor of Texas and Trump Energy Secretary Rick Perry, too, r127. She said she caught him with his Chief of Staff.

By definition, someone not mentioned.

Troy Aikman. Makes Aaron Rodgers look like Harvey Milk.

[quote]I think Ryan Reynolds is gay too.

Ryan Reynolds definitely pings. And he's got a weird way of talking, too. It's also annoying how many commercials he is doing now selling various products.

R127, Angie Bowie told Joan Rivers that she walked in on David in bed with Mick Jagger.

Jordan Knight from New Kids on The Block

Hugh Jackman

Kanye West

Mark Hamill

"Former Governor of Texas and Trump Energy Secretary Rick Perry, too, [R127]. She said she caught him with his Chief of Staff."

This was complete and totally fabricated bullshit.

R137

Riccardo Tisci sure do love him a black man.

Shawn "Don't Say I'm Gay" Mendes

The rumors about Rick Perry are not bullshit. They floated around Austin for ages.

I mean, my god, did you SEE him on Dancing With The Stars?

Beto O'Rourke . . . I wish.

Well, Beto was running buddies with Aaron Schock....make of that what you will

Adam Levine

Not sure if Joe Rogan is gay. But he looks like he would appreciate the tang of a pair of sweaty balls.

[quote] Coming out did not hurt them. I swear, some people make shit up to justify the closet

Coming out as gay KILLS careers!

Scarlett Johanssen pings, so maybe she and Ryan Reynolds made sense as a couple.

John Roberts

[quote] Joe Rogan.

I've had my suspicions. I'm pretty sure he masturbates to himself in a mirror on a regular basis. He is able to suck his own dick too.

Several of the DWTS pros

Sidney Crosby