Effeminate tops

"by Lester Fabian Brathwaite"

Oh, [italic]him[/italic].

Toxic gay masculinity, okay. So gay men are the ones physically attacking or killing other gay men.

I used to date a dance captain in NYC. He was cute a cute strawberry blond and his legs were insane and he had a great piece -- but damn was he nellie! Legs always crossed above the knee, always talking about B'way shows and shit. Total top. And was great at it.

Years ago I had met a guy at a party and got him home. He was cute but very femme.

We're going at it and I start trying to finger him.

He stops and tells me he's a top.

I was a little buzzed, but I just started laughing and, without meaning to say it out loud, said "No you're not!"

He was not happy about it but admitted that guys often doubted that he was a top.

We jerked each other off and I eventually talked him into blowing me which he was pretty bad at.

It has been my experience that while some guys are total top or total bottom, most gay men can be versatile for the right guy. But it is also my experience that no guy is gonna hook up with the intent of having a relationship with you. When you encounter a man cruising, whether in person or online they are usually looking to top or bottom. Since they don't know you, they are less likely to be versatile with you on your first meeting. You are a piece of meat. You are their living breathing porn video and basically he is yours. He wants to get off how he wants to get off.

This is why it is critical to let them know if you are looking for something specific in your first communication so that there are no surprises when you are in bed together. And by all means, if you meet on an app, insist on a phone call. His voice will tell you all you need to know for purposes of a hookup. Nothing else matters. Although you won't be able to hear him switching in a phone conversation, you also won't have to see him switching while you are in the dark fucking either.

OP, Marines refer to their very masculine camo jackets as 'blouses.'

All men have feminine characteristics but they all also know how to code switch. Nobody wants a feminine top. If he is a Billy Porter or a Richard Simmons top (ie. can't hide his over the top fem), then he is not getting laid very much anyway unless he is willing to be vers.

R5 Right because those photos aren't exactly proof enough if they're feminine or masculine. Some guys will butch up or fem down for the purposes of getting some lol. If you're not looking for either/or, the best thing to do is have a lengthy conversation (or conversations) with them beforehand.

Effeminate tops are sort of in the same boat as transsexual tops. Some aren't even versatile, they just get turned on by dominating guys. I think it still surprises ppl that there are more of them out there than anyone could've ever imagined lol.

R4 Guess he was one of those tops who don't like to suck

r8 Back in the day that was a long standing joke about those that went to The Eagle; industrial cock rock inside and Judy Garland in the parking lot. unfortunately, the gay historians and theorists of today have manipulated that into meaning it was all just costume and any act of masculinity is embedded in internalized homophobia and hatred of women. Which many would point to the fallacies of some political organizations trying too hard to push towards the one size fits all "gay gene" explanation leading to the public embrace the homophobic othering of homosexuality by way of simplistic notions of intersex than a spectrum of sexuality and sex expression among all.

motor pubs with the tendency to be a bit on the trashy side were better for versatiles and switches ... same with the smaller leather & bdsm festivals. the more mainstream it went, the more rigid roles and uniforms there were. . . leading to the epic cultural battles between the old guard and new guard.

I've been fucked by two guys who were into drag.

12 well Detox is supposedly a total top into young twinks exculsively

[quote] Toxic gay masculinity, okay. So gay men are the ones physically attacking or killing other gay men.

Yes they are.

I always found transvestites in Almodovar films who seemed to have a sexually active side very sexy. Particularly Miguel Bose

Bump

Not a fan. I feel like an old fossil (I’m just into my forties) but I kind of like men being men and women being women. I’m attracted to “manly men” so the current trend for “transing” fashion with men wearing dresses and pearls is deeply unappealing to me. Maybe it’s partly hardwired into me. I didn’t grow up in the most cosmopolitan area, and this gender bender stuff would have got you a smashed face, and perhaps even smashed windows. But I digress. Whatever floats a person’s boat, I guess; I just don’t personally appreciate it.

The idea of an alpha masc type bottoming seems hotter than the reverse, but that might be a knee jerk reaction of social conditioning and stereotyping.

Never go in with expectations. If you are attracted enough to a guy to have sex with him who cares how effeminate he is?

I have found effeminate tops to be considerate and compassionate. Only good experiences.

They can be great fun. Never had one who was a total top though.

An effeminate top is called a Blouse.

r22 yes, we read the article, Rose.

^ Frida Claxton is called a nasty cunt.

Did you read that article, Frida, you dirty old slag?

P.S. I'm not going to kiss your wrinkled old fanny - so drop dead.

I am a top so it's never been an issue.

But I did once meet a guy in a club years ago when I was single. He was hot but very effeminate and I just assumed he was a bottom.

We go back to his place and start getting into it and he's like "what are you doing? I'm a top."

And I laughed because I thought he was making a joke but he wasn't, which I did not immediately pick up on. He was somewhat indignant and I was sort of a dick. I was just like "dude, you are far too gay to be a top. You just haven't figured out you're a bottom yet."

That did not go over well but at that point I was not getting laid anyway.

Effeminate tops, wearing a see-thru blouse and a big butt plug

Not sure why people assume effeminate = bottom. I have met more uber alpha muscle men who lift their legs at the first lick of a taint.

[quote]I have met more uber alpha muscle men who lift their legs at the first lick of a taint.

I just happen to have a very sensitive bussy...

like a dog who can't stop scratching...

R25 😆 😆

R27 Yeah it's pretty common lol

Muscular athletic cocky men are only tolerable when they're on their back begging to be filled imo

R31 😂

r32 I have one in mint.

I actually really enjoy playing with queeny tops and manly bottoms bc it is such a total mindfuck. Something about that is such a turn on

R32 Really well how much progress have you made with him so far? Is he on your mind alot? Could be why you have in mint instead of in mind lol unless you're already manifesting the morning after at a nice hotel or something

R33 me too

R18 “The idea of an alpha masc type bottoming seems hotter than the reverse, but that might be a knee jerk reaction of social conditioning and stereotyping.”

But then so is the newfound appreciation of Tranny and femme shit, everything you know and feel is basically brainwashing. Toxic femininity is a thing, passive aggressive, entitlement etc. If you’re being femme to assimilate with a gaggle of fags then don’t be mad about how masc a straight guy will act to fit in with his crew.

Femme fags are weird, they’re so cocky about their Ariana Grande wannabe life, but so insecure too. They dream of the quarterback fucking them, but they try to prove how gay every man is, how femme he is. They start with a litany of tests, “do you like Celine Dion?”, “ok”… “will you wear this Gucci belt?”… and on and on until they basically turned him into a huge gay, at which point, they will then discard of him because at that point, the masculine man has become too gay for them. Once they shift his masculine to feminine ratio to become feminine heavy, then they’re done with him. I’ve watched it happen many times.

Fresh meat gay comes into the community, all the guys think he’s so hot, and he still has a lot of masculine qualities, and then slowly and slowly, he turns into a bigger queen. Slowly, he assimilates his music taste, hobbies, clothes… until there’s nearly nothing masculine left about him. Once he is a big, flaming homosexual than all the other feminine queens, want nothing to do with him.

The Stud becomes just another Fairy.

From Thoroughbred to Unicorn: The Gus Kenworthy Story

I've been a blouse by accident. I just go with whatever the guy wants. Sometimes that means topping when I expected to bottom. Sometimes that means we both flip. I've learned you can't really tell.

I briefly dated a guy who was handsome and conventionally masculine in appearance, but was queeny with a penetrating high pitched voice. He drew attention to himself because if it, and it was embarrassing at times. On the other hand, he had a big fat cock, and fucked like a thing possessed.

[Quote] He stops and tells me he's a top.

R4 know about real life sex. This happens a lot.

No. Just no.

R27 "Not sure why people assume effeminate = bottom. I have met more uber alpha muscle men who lift their legs at the first lick of a taint."

I don't think butch bottoms are rare at all. It's effeminate tops that are the rarity.

R5? Duh.

You learn to know your role for hookups before you learn to spell Cabaret.

This all seems so fraught and complicated.

Lesbians don't have this issue. It's usually abundantly clear without even asking or negotiating what a particular woman wants. And though I'm sure it's happened before and is possible, I've never met a high femme who was an exclusive top or conversely a stone butch who only bottoms. Tbh, most lesbians and even some bi women are like Swiss Army knives, they do everything.

R45, it's actually pretty rare for sexual roles among men to not be clear. I'm into masculine tops. I've never been wrong. Not once.

But that's the fun of the thread: Discussing when people's preconceived sexual notions are not met as expected.

R46, I wouldn't engage with R45. She says elsewhere that she's a woman who's never had sex, so her contributions to this thread are without value.

I've struck this on ocassion as somebody what loves effeminate men, its real confusing. And I cant bottom for medical reasons, but usually I've been able to figure out some way we all can both get us a good time

It's laughable. Almost like a cat barking.

Pssst. Richard Simmons' bathhouse nickname was Mr. Big for a reason!