Let's Be a Business in the 1990's

I'm fax machines

Hi, I’m Donald Trump. Welcome to Trump Airlines, the best, the biggest, the most luxurious… Hold on a second, oh? Not gonna happen, never mind! I guess I’ll just invest in steaks, water, casinos, and universities until I get enough dumb Americans to vote for me.

I'm Scanning.

I’m the GAP! You’ll only remember me for the popped collars and playlists.

I’m the Harvard Business Review - I’m proclaiming the end of the business cycle.

I'm gay bars! I used to be THE place of congregation, laughter, dance and at times, debauchery for gay men. You may have heard of them. A relatively medium-sized portion of the western population, traditionally abused and marginalized until I became popular and gave them places of their own. I'm responsible for countless broken hearts and even more cases of falling in love. I entertained and protected. I gave refuge to the vulnerable and comfort to the lonely. My walls vibrated with music and the dancing of a million feet. I was the place for ladies who liked ladies and for men who liked men, and everyone in between. In most places, my local name was synonymous with GAY Pride, even before the parades and appropriation by global corporations. I hold billions of memories, most of them happy. My makeshift stages gave courage to local talent; and if only for an evening or two, allowed many to play out their dreams of being famous ingénues who would sing and dance for my patrons. Even the buildings constructed atop my ashes are looked upon with nostalgia by the periodic passer-by who once found love, then lost it, then found it again within my walls. I welcomed everyone but left no question as to who and what I was really there for. They were magical, happy times until...one day..... a chubby woman walked through my doors wearing shorts, flip-flops, and a bridal veil, followed by a flock of similarly looking young women, not gay, but inebriated and looking to be entertained by my loyal and loving patrons. It was all downhill from there, and now I am, mostly, just a memory.

I'm the secretaries wearing "the Rachel"

I’m the GE stock that that keeps gaining and gaining thanks to CEO Jack Welch, under whose leadership the company has shifted from being a research/development and manufacturing concern to being a global financial firm.

bump

I'm Newt Gingrich. I was a professor from Atlanta. Now, I am preaching on the declining morals of American family values, big business, and how affairs are only for the white trash.