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Expressions that make no sense

"It's colder than a witch's tit!"

Why would a witch's tit be cold?

by Anonymousreply 114January 15, 2022 6:56 PM

Apparently there's a folk belief that witches can control their body temperature.

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by Anonymousreply 1January 10, 2022 5:37 PM

Here’s one you might understand. Might.

Dumber than a bag of hair.


by Anonymousreply 2January 10, 2022 5:43 PM

Once Elizabeth Montgomery was in a bathroom stall at some sports game when she heard a woman in the bathroom say it’s colder than a witch’s tit. She thought it was hilarious and walked out of the stall to the shocked woman. She was pretty bawdy so I hope this story isn’t apocryphal.

by Anonymousreply 3January 10, 2022 5:44 PM

I'll be here 'til the last dog dies!

I never understood that one.

by Anonymousreply 4January 10, 2022 5:46 PM

It’s raining 🌧 CATS 🐱 and DOGS 🐶

by Anonymousreply 5January 10, 2022 5:47 PM

R4 Wasn’t that about Arctic explorers who were trapped and slowly eating their dogs until the last one, after which they would starve?

by Anonymousreply 6January 10, 2022 5:52 PM

I prefer the jumbled similes myself. Keep people guessing and confused.

"It's as dark as a well-digger's ass in here!"

"Does the Pope shit in the woods?" meaning "YES"

"Did my sister blow a carnie on Christmas Eve?" also meaning "YES"

by Anonymousreply 7January 10, 2022 5:57 PM

I'd always heard it as "Colder than a witches tit in a brass bra.

by Anonymousreply 8January 10, 2022 5:58 PM

Google is you fwend.

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by Anonymousreply 9January 10, 2022 6:01 PM

[quote]"Does the Pope shit in the woods?

That was originally a comedy mashup of the phrases "Is the Pope Catholic?" and "Do bears shit in the woods?"

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by Anonymousreply 10January 10, 2022 6:19 PM

R10 Yes, that's why I called it a jumbled simile. It's a deliberate confusion of two expressions.

by Anonymousreply 11January 10, 2022 6:21 PM

The devil 👿 may care.

by Anonymousreply 12January 10, 2022 6:31 PM

"Your reach should exceed your grasp." If I can grasp something, I've reached it, haven't I? If I've reached it, how can I not grasp it?

by Anonymousreply 13January 10, 2022 6:33 PM

"All over you like a cheap suit." Huh?

by Anonymousreply 14January 10, 2022 6:33 PM

"He folded faster than Superman on laundry day."

It actually makes perfect sense, but it's witty.

by Anonymousreply 15January 10, 2022 6:35 PM

How would you know OP, you've never seen a woman's tit in your life.

by Anonymousreply 16January 10, 2022 6:39 PM

Every dog has its day.

by Anonymousreply 17January 10, 2022 6:41 PM

The correct saying is…..Colder than a witch’s tit in a brass brazier.

by Anonymousreply 18January 10, 2022 6:42 PM

The devil's penis is supposed to be cold also.

by Anonymousreply 19January 10, 2022 6:44 PM

r13 If you add the rest of the quote, from Robert Browning, it all becomes clear.

"A man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a Heaven for?"

Meaning? Your aspirations should be JUST beyond complete fulfillment, so you continue to strive and in the process better yourself.

by Anonymousreply 20January 10, 2022 6:48 PM

"Busier than a one-armed paper hanger".....why would a one-armed person be a paper hanger?

by Anonymousreply 21January 10, 2022 6:50 PM

You can have your cake 🍰 and eat it too.

by Anonymousreply 22January 10, 2022 6:51 PM

Can I offer my opinion on that?

by Anonymousreply 23January 10, 2022 6:53 PM

r22 If you add an 't to your second word, then we're good to go.

r21 That's the whole point. A one-armed paperhanger would be exceedingly busy, and put upon(and have to be EXCEEDINGLY resourceful), as opposed to someone who had the use of both arms. And he'd have to be twice as fast to be half as good.

r14 It's trying to describe a suit that does not fit well, one that gaps and strains at various points. It's all over the man's body, but in unflattering ways.

by Anonymousreply 24January 10, 2022 7:16 PM

R22, that expression has been switched over the years.

The original expression was “you can’t eat your cake and have it, too,” which makes perfect sense.

by Anonymousreply 25January 10, 2022 7:23 PM

How now brown cow

by Anonymousreply 26January 10, 2022 7:41 PM

“He was hit on the dark side of his yam-bag.”

Wrestling expression for a low blow.

by Anonymousreply 27January 10, 2022 8:19 PM

“Sharp as a Marble”

by Anonymousreply 28January 10, 2022 8:21 PM

That doesn’t make sense to you, r28?

by Anonymousreply 29January 10, 2022 8:33 PM

[quote]why would a one-armed person be a paper hanger

Because he couldn’t hack it as a juggler?

by Anonymousreply 30January 10, 2022 8:40 PM

meaner than a striped snake..........

by Anonymousreply 31January 10, 2022 8:41 PM

Whether it’s

‘He thinks he can have his cake and eat it too.’


‘You can’t have your cake and eat it too.’

If you consider ‘have’ to mean ‘keep’ then it might make more sense.

by Anonymousreply 32January 10, 2022 8:42 PM

In the UK the expression is "Flatter than a Witches tit".

by Anonymousreply 33January 10, 2022 8:44 PM

The Catholic school kids taught us 'Colder than a Nun's cunt'. I guess meaning if she was getting dick regularly, it would be warm and juicy

by Anonymousreply 34January 10, 2022 8:45 PM

I’m as jumpy as a virgin at a prison rodeo.

by Anonymousreply 35January 10, 2022 8:48 PM

When I was a kid people used to say he or she will get their "how do you do." I know they meant that person will be paid back for shit they did, but how did that come to mean THAT?

by Anonymousreply 36January 10, 2022 8:52 PM

Isn’t it “colder than a witch’s titty in a brass bra”?

by Anonymousreply 37January 10, 2022 8:53 PM

Build Back Better

by Anonymousreply 38January 10, 2022 8:53 PM

Google is definitely NOT anyone's friend. In fact they are likely listening to you and reading what you are typing at this moment.

Three I hear from time to time:

"Six Ways to Sunday"

"Bum Fuck, Egypt"

"Three Sheets to the Wind"

by Anonymousreply 39January 10, 2022 8:59 PM

I’d rather be raped by a herd of wild donkeys.

by Anonymousreply 40January 10, 2022 9:04 PM

Hell hath no fury like shit-bra flung.

by Anonymousreply 41January 10, 2022 9:10 PM

Beat me, Bite me, Whip me, Fuck me, Make me write bad checks.

by Anonymousreply 42January 10, 2022 9:19 PM

Skittery as a cat on a hot tin roof.

Is an actual Southern expression. Tennessee Williams did not make it up. My mother used to say it.

by Anonymousreply 43January 10, 2022 9:20 PM

In response to someone saying something obvious, the Nun who terrorized me in third grade would say:

"Well fan me with a brick."

by Anonymousreply 44January 10, 2022 9:41 PM

R43, why doesn’t that make sense to you?

I swear some of you have no idea of the thread title.

by Anonymousreply 45January 10, 2022 9:54 PM

r39 Three sheets to the wind is a nautical expression. The sheets referred to are the ropes that control the sails on ships(I know, it's counterintuitive, it seems like sheets should refer to the sails themselves, but, there you are) If one sheet/rope was unsecured that made it harder for the sailors to control that particular sail, it got more difficult when the other sheets/ropes were flapping in the wind as well. Arrrrrrrgghhh!!!

I've got a book on nautical phrases and expressions that have come into common use, it is amazing how many there are.

by Anonymousreply 46January 10, 2022 10:45 PM

R46 I don’t know how I never understood this most of my life before, but most of the phrases theater uses for backstage have nautical origins since the first literal backstage “crew” (for prime example) were made up of former seafaring men who could handle the block and tackle, riggings, catwalks, flys and other related theatrical technologies.

by Anonymousreply 47January 10, 2022 10:56 PM

I love the expression "Three sheets to the wind", but then again dad was a sailor.

by Anonymousreply 48January 10, 2022 11:06 PM

Fuck me runnin’

by Anonymousreply 49January 10, 2022 11:08 PM

R45 is a cantankerous asshole. LOL.

by Anonymousreply 50January 10, 2022 11:23 PM

You can't swing a dead cat on DL without hitting an Eldergay.

by Anonymousreply 51January 11, 2022 3:34 AM

Fuckin' A!

by Anonymousreply 52January 11, 2022 3:35 AM

How's about we go to the nearest pub and tie on a few belts?

by Anonymousreply 53January 11, 2022 3:37 AM

You're the most masculine faggot I've ever met.

by Anonymousreply 54January 11, 2022 3:38 AM

R16 stole that line from All That Jazz.

by Anonymousreply 55January 11, 2022 11:00 AM

You will too lick your sister’s pussy if she gets horny!

by Anonymousreply 56January 11, 2022 1:05 PM

R38- I agree that is the STUPIEST expression EVER

by Anonymousreply 57January 11, 2022 2:58 PM

R57, Be Best.

by Anonymousreply 58January 11, 2022 3:02 PM

Now that's quick r55. Have you always been this quick? Or is it something new (Now can you tell me where I stole that line from?)

by Anonymousreply 59January 11, 2022 6:23 PM

Don't beat around the bush- illogical or not I don't like that expression.

by Anonymousreply 60January 11, 2022 6:26 PM

Yes r55, I stole that line from All That Jazz (scene begins at 7:49).

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by Anonymousreply 61January 11, 2022 6:26 PM

Winner winner chicken dinner

by Anonymousreply 62January 11, 2022 6:27 PM

Bite the bullet

by Anonymousreply 63January 11, 2022 6:27 PM

By the skin of your teeth

by Anonymousreply 64January 11, 2022 6:29 PM

This tastes so good it makes you want to slap yo mama.!

by Anonymousreply 65January 11, 2022 6:29 PM

[quote]The correct saying is…..Colder than a witch’s tit in a brass brazier.

A brazier is a portable heater, so why would the witch's tit be cold? The word you were looking for is brassiere.

by Anonymousreply 66January 11, 2022 6:36 PM

1 in the pink and 1 in the stink.

by Anonymousreply 67January 11, 2022 6:37 PM

Please tinker with my stinker.

by Anonymousreply 68January 11, 2022 6:38 PM

To my experience, "colder than a witches tit" translates well in different languages. It gets a laugh for being colorful and making a point well. Maybe you are overthinking, OP.

by Anonymousreply 69January 11, 2022 6:53 PM


by Anonymousreply 70January 11, 2022 6:55 PM

I could care less.

by Anonymousreply 71January 11, 2022 7:01 PM

Her eyes look like two burnt holes in a bedpan.

by Anonymousreply 72January 11, 2022 7:12 PM

As hard as a bull's dick. Oh wait, that makes sense.

by Anonymousreply 73January 11, 2022 7:17 PM

She has a mouth like a torn pocket.

by Anonymousreply 74January 13, 2022 3:06 AM

Thank you, R71. That one really bugs me. The expression is (correctly) "I couldn't care less." Saying "I could care less" means that it is actually something you DO care about, at least more than some other things.

by Anonymousreply 75January 13, 2022 4:31 AM

Well, I swan!

by Anonymousreply 76January 13, 2022 6:30 AM

What are the best and most mysterious “gayer than” expressions?

Gayer than a bundle of sticks.

by Anonymousreply 77January 13, 2022 10:25 AM

Yo mama.

by Anonymousreply 78January 13, 2022 3:41 PM

George W Bush’s mouth looks like tear in a vinyl hemorrhoid cushion.

by Anonymousreply 79January 13, 2022 3:42 PM

Yet another version: “Colder than a witches tit in a cast iron bra.”

by Anonymousreply 80January 13, 2022 4:06 PM

I never understood the expression “mothballs at the laundromat!”

by Anonymousreply 81January 13, 2022 4:40 PM


[quote] The correct saying is…..Colder than a witch’s tit in a brass brazier.

Oh Dear.

by Anonymousreply 82January 13, 2022 4:55 PM

With Liberty and Justice for All.

by Anonymousreply 83January 13, 2022 5:26 PM

Blow job

by Anonymousreply 84January 13, 2022 8:16 PM

You’re right, r84. It’s


Having given many, I know why they call it a job, but why DO they call it a “blow” job?

by Anonymousreply 85January 13, 2022 8:20 PM

r85 Because the guy you're sucking "blows" his load. All over you, in you or elsewhere.

by Anonymousreply 86January 13, 2022 10:34 PM

And this, my Datalounge friends, is why I love and will continue to love Bronzie!

by Anonymousreply 87January 13, 2022 10:36 PM

Archie Bunker's mouth looked like an asshole with teeth.

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by Anonymousreply 88January 13, 2022 11:51 PM

r87 🤭

by Anonymousreply 89January 14, 2022 12:10 AM

Art fart shit tit

by Anonymousreply 90January 14, 2022 12:12 AM

My father always said, "Colder than a witch's left tit."

by Anonymousreply 91January 14, 2022 5:27 AM

[quote] In the UK the expression is "Flatter than a Witches tit".

Do you also say "Droopier than the Queen's tits" about someone who is depressed?

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by Anonymousreply 92January 14, 2022 5:36 AM

What are the best and most mysterious “gayer than” expressions?

Gayer than a spring Ungaro frock

Gayer than Christmas

Gayer than Paris in the springtime

Gayer than a treeful of parrots

Gayer than the gay is long!

by Anonymousreply 93January 14, 2022 5:38 AM

Don't that take the rag off the bush!

by Anonymousreply 94January 14, 2022 6:00 AM

If I had a nickel for every cigarette your mom smoked, I'd be dead.

by Anonymousreply 95January 14, 2022 6:14 AM

Gayer than a $2 bill

by Anonymousreply 96January 14, 2022 6:28 AM

[quote]"It's colder than a witch's tit!"

There's also the saying "flatter than a witch's tit" because witch's are evil barren ungodly women who wouldn't be able to breastfeed a child.

by Anonymousreply 97January 14, 2022 6:39 AM

[quote]Gayer than a treeful of parrots

I heard it as "gayer than a tree full of chickadees."

by Anonymousreply 98January 14, 2022 7:02 AM

[quote] Gayer than a $2 bill

That’s a $3 bill, you FAT WHORE.

by Anonymousreply 99January 14, 2022 12:04 PM

r99 Thomas Jefferson thanks you.

by Anonymousreply 100January 14, 2022 1:32 PM

I just assumed it was about how witches were supposed to be cold blooded creatures.

by Anonymousreply 101January 14, 2022 2:12 PM

"Tell her her rump's as big as the Queen's, and twice as fragrant!"

by Anonymousreply 102January 14, 2022 2:28 PM

R102 Never heard that one...

by Anonymousreply 103January 14, 2022 9:30 PM

You make my ass work button holes backwards!

by Anonymousreply 104January 14, 2022 9:57 PM

Shave my ass and sit in gin.

by Anonymousreply 105January 14, 2022 9:58 PM

Are these British expressions?

by Anonymousreply 106January 14, 2022 10:02 PM

r105 comes from two straight guys from the pricier sections of Dallas.

by Anonymousreply 107January 14, 2022 10:04 PM

Who even ‘shoot fish in a barrel’ ?

by Anonymousreply 108January 14, 2022 10:16 PM

Who has barrels hanging around the house anyways anymore?

by Anonymousreply 109January 14, 2022 10:19 PM

EASIER THAN shooting fish in a barrel. It's hypothetical.

by Anonymousreply 110January 14, 2022 10:19 PM

[quote] anyways

Oh, dear!

by Anonymousreply 111January 14, 2022 10:53 PM

Gayer than laughter am I.

by Anonymousreply 112January 15, 2022 5:08 AM

Pull the other leg, it's got bells on it.

Brass monkey weather (nonsensical, unless you are familiar with the expression "It's cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey)

by Anonymousreply 113January 15, 2022 5:16 AM

Pulling your leg.

Laughing up your sleeve.

Talking through your hat.

Carry on.

by Anonymousreply 114January 15, 2022 6:56 PM
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