Expressions that make no sense

Apparently there's a folk belief that witches can control their body temperature.

Here’s one you might understand. Might.

Dumber than a bag of hair.

🙀

Once Elizabeth Montgomery was in a bathroom stall at some sports game when she heard a woman in the bathroom say it’s colder than a witch’s tit. She thought it was hilarious and walked out of the stall to the shocked woman. She was pretty bawdy so I hope this story isn’t apocryphal.

I'll be here 'til the last dog dies!

I never understood that one.

It’s raining 🌧 CATS 🐱 and DOGS 🐶

R4 Wasn’t that about Arctic explorers who were trapped and slowly eating their dogs until the last one, after which they would starve?

I prefer the jumbled similes myself. Keep people guessing and confused.

"It's as dark as a well-digger's ass in here!"

"Does the Pope shit in the woods?" meaning "YES"

"Did my sister blow a carnie on Christmas Eve?" also meaning "YES"

I'd always heard it as "Colder than a witches tit in a brass bra.

Google is you fwend.

[quote]"Does the Pope shit in the woods?

That was originally a comedy mashup of the phrases "Is the Pope Catholic?" and "Do bears shit in the woods?"

R10 Yes, that's why I called it a jumbled simile. It's a deliberate confusion of two expressions.

The devil 👿 may care.

"Your reach should exceed your grasp." If I can grasp something, I've reached it, haven't I? If I've reached it, how can I not grasp it?

"All over you like a cheap suit." Huh?

"He folded faster than Superman on laundry day."

It actually makes perfect sense, but it's witty.

How would you know OP, you've never seen a woman's tit in your life.

Every dog has its day.

The correct saying is…..Colder than a witch’s tit in a brass brazier.

The devil's penis is supposed to be cold also.

r13 If you add the rest of the quote, from Robert Browning, it all becomes clear.

"A man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a Heaven for?"

Meaning? Your aspirations should be JUST beyond complete fulfillment, so you continue to strive and in the process better yourself.

"Busier than a one-armed paper hanger".....why would a one-armed person be a paper hanger?

You can have your cake 🍰 and eat it too.

Can I offer my opinion on that?

r22 If you add an 't to your second word, then we're good to go.

r21 That's the whole point. A one-armed paperhanger would be exceedingly busy, and put upon(and have to be EXCEEDINGLY resourceful), as opposed to someone who had the use of both arms. And he'd have to be twice as fast to be half as good.

r14 It's trying to describe a suit that does not fit well, one that gaps and strains at various points. It's all over the man's body, but in unflattering ways.

R22, that expression has been switched over the years.

The original expression was “you can’t eat your cake and have it, too,” which makes perfect sense.

How now brown cow

“He was hit on the dark side of his yam-bag.”

Wrestling expression for a low blow.

“Sharp as a Marble”

That doesn’t make sense to you, r28?

[quote]why would a one-armed person be a paper hanger

Because he couldn’t hack it as a juggler?

meaner than a striped snake..........

Whether it’s

‘He thinks he can have his cake and eat it too.’

or

‘You can’t have your cake and eat it too.’

If you consider ‘have’ to mean ‘keep’ then it might make more sense.

In the UK the expression is "Flatter than a Witches tit".

The Catholic school kids taught us 'Colder than a Nun's cunt'. I guess meaning if she was getting dick regularly, it would be warm and juicy

I’m as jumpy as a virgin at a prison rodeo.

When I was a kid people used to say he or she will get their "how do you do." I know they meant that person will be paid back for shit they did, but how did that come to mean THAT?

Isn’t it “colder than a witch’s titty in a brass bra”?

Build Back Better

Google is definitely NOT anyone's friend. In fact they are likely listening to you and reading what you are typing at this moment.

Three I hear from time to time:

"Six Ways to Sunday"

"Bum Fuck, Egypt"

"Three Sheets to the Wind"

I’d rather be raped by a herd of wild donkeys.

Hell hath no fury like shit-bra flung.

Beat me, Bite me, Whip me, Fuck me, Make me write bad checks.

Skittery as a cat on a hot tin roof.

Is an actual Southern expression. Tennessee Williams did not make it up. My mother used to say it.

In response to someone saying something obvious, the Nun who terrorized me in third grade would say:

"Well fan me with a brick."

R43, why doesn’t that make sense to you?

I swear some of you have no idea of the thread title.

r39 Three sheets to the wind is a nautical expression. The sheets referred to are the ropes that control the sails on ships(I know, it's counterintuitive, it seems like sheets should refer to the sails themselves, but, there you are) If one sheet/rope was unsecured that made it harder for the sailors to control that particular sail, it got more difficult when the other sheets/ropes were flapping in the wind as well. Arrrrrrrgghhh!!!

I've got a book on nautical phrases and expressions that have come into common use, it is amazing how many there are.

R46 I don’t know how I never understood this most of my life before, but most of the phrases theater uses for backstage have nautical origins since the first literal backstage “crew” (for prime example) were made up of former seafaring men who could handle the block and tackle, riggings, catwalks, flys and other related theatrical technologies.

I love the expression "Three sheets to the wind", but then again dad was a sailor.

Fuck me runnin’

R45 is a cantankerous asshole. LOL.

You can't swing a dead cat on DL without hitting an Eldergay.

Fuckin' A!

How's about we go to the nearest pub and tie on a few belts?

You're the most masculine faggot I've ever met.

R16 stole that line from All That Jazz.

You will too lick your sister’s pussy if she gets horny!

R38- I agree that is the STUPIEST expression EVER

R57, Be Best.

Now that's quick r55. Have you always been this quick? Or is it something new (Now can you tell me where I stole that line from?)

Don't beat around the bush- illogical or not I don't like that expression.

Yes r55, I stole that line from All That Jazz (scene begins at 7:49).

Winner winner chicken dinner

Bite the bullet

By the skin of your teeth

This tastes so good it makes you want to slap yo mama.!

[quote]The correct saying is…..Colder than a witch’s tit in a brass brazier.

A brazier is a portable heater, so why would the witch's tit be cold? The word you were looking for is brassiere.

1 in the pink and 1 in the stink.

Please tinker with my stinker.

To my experience, "colder than a witches tit" translates well in different languages. It gets a laugh for being colorful and making a point well. Maybe you are overthinking, OP.

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

I could care less.

Her eyes look like two burnt holes in a bedpan.

As hard as a bull's dick. Oh wait, that makes sense.

She has a mouth like a torn pocket.

Thank you, R71. That one really bugs me. The expression is (correctly) "I couldn't care less." Saying "I could care less" means that it is actually something you DO care about, at least more than some other things.

Well, I swan!

What are the best and most mysterious “gayer than” expressions?

Gayer than a bundle of sticks.

Yo mama.

George W Bush’s mouth looks like tear in a vinyl hemorrhoid cushion.

Yet another version: “Colder than a witches tit in a cast iron bra.”

I never understood the expression “mothballs at the laundromat!”

R18

[quote] The correct saying is…..Colder than a witch’s tit in a brass brazier.

Oh Dear.

With Liberty and Justice for All.

Blow job

You’re right, r84. It’s

DAT’S DA SUCK JOB!

Having given many, I know why they call it a job, but why DO they call it a “blow” job?

r85 Because the guy you're sucking "blows" his load. All over you, in you or elsewhere.

And this, my Datalounge friends, is why I love and will continue to love Bronzie!

Archie Bunker's mouth looked like an asshole with teeth.

r87 🤭

Art fart shit tit

My father always said, "Colder than a witch's left tit."

[quote] In the UK the expression is "Flatter than a Witches tit".

Do you also say "Droopier than the Queen's tits" about someone who is depressed?

What are the best and most mysterious “gayer than” expressions?

Gayer than a spring Ungaro frock

Gayer than Christmas

Gayer than Paris in the springtime

Gayer than a treeful of parrots

Gayer than the gay is long!

Don't that take the rag off the bush!

If I had a nickel for every cigarette your mom smoked, I'd be dead.

Gayer than a $2 bill

[quote]"It's colder than a witch's tit!"

There's also the saying "flatter than a witch's tit" because witch's are evil barren ungodly women who wouldn't be able to breastfeed a child.

[quote]Gayer than a treeful of parrots

I heard it as "gayer than a tree full of chickadees."

[quote] Gayer than a $2 bill

That’s a $3 bill, you FAT WHORE.

r99 Thomas Jefferson thanks you.

I just assumed it was about how witches were supposed to be cold blooded creatures.

"Tell her her rump's as big as the Queen's, and twice as fragrant!"

R102 Never heard that one...

You make my ass work button holes backwards!

Shave my ass and sit in gin.

Are these British expressions?

r105 comes from two straight guys from the pricier sections of Dallas.

Who even ‘shoot fish in a barrel’ ?

Who has barrels hanging around the house anyways anymore?

EASIER THAN shooting fish in a barrel. It's hypothetical.

[quote] anyways

Oh, dear!

Gayer than laughter am I.

Pull the other leg, it's got bells on it.

Brass monkey weather (nonsensical, unless you are familiar with the expression "It's cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey)

Pulling your leg.

Laughing up your sleeve.

Talking through your hat.

Carry on.