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Things Only a Country Gay Will Say

That Lezzie thread is filling out, so on to the next!

"Walmart's fried chicken special is THE BEST meal for a gospel brunch!"

"I wish Carhartt still made jockstraps..."

by Anonymousreply 95January 19, 2022 5:43 PM

These boots were made for walking … and shoveling pig shit.

by Anonymousreply 1January 10, 2022 6:28 PM

What's this business about Carhartt jockstraps?

by Anonymousreply 2January 10, 2022 6:30 PM

"Do you have to wear eyeliner? Really?"

by Anonymousreply 3January 10, 2022 6:32 PM

"What I do behind closed doors is my business!"

by Anonymousreply 4January 10, 2022 6:34 PM

I hooked up with a Big Cityboy from Omaha!

by Anonymousreply 5January 10, 2022 6:36 PM

Those are just my Lady Bugs

by Anonymousreply 6January 10, 2022 6:36 PM

Can you believe him? He ordered an unsweet tea.

by Anonymousreply 7January 10, 2022 6:39 PM

I'm going to be a pastor. Jesus will save you heathen gays.

by Anonymousreply 8January 10, 2022 6:40 PM

The bed of this here Ford Ranger has seen more manhole than a proctologist!

by Anonymousreply 9January 10, 2022 6:41 PM

As long as my basket is bigger than the chewin' tobacco bulge in my back pocket, I'm good.

by Anonymousreply 10January 10, 2022 6:41 PM

I coordinated my dining room for y'all!

John Deere Green is a perfect complement to Coca-Cola Red!

by Anonymousreply 11January 10, 2022 6:42 PM

The tailgate of my pickup is butt warped.

by Anonymousreply 12January 10, 2022 6:42 PM

[quote]I hooked up with a Big Cityboy from Omaha!

You laugh, R5. But I have a friend who lives in Lincoln. Eldergay, like me. Not much to look at (not that I am, either).

But he has a stable of hot and/or horny 20- and 30-somethings who drive in from the country to fuck him and spend the night.

The next morning, they drive back to the country. Until the next time!

by Anonymousreply 13January 10, 2022 6:42 PM

He was raised right R13.

by Anonymousreply 14January 10, 2022 6:43 PM

Hi, I'm Lindsey Graham

by Anonymousreply 15January 10, 2022 6:44 PM

I pick up all my trade at the rodeo.

by Anonymousreply 16January 10, 2022 7:13 PM

Save a horse, ride a cowboy.

by Anonymousreply 17January 10, 2022 7:15 PM

I can't quit you

by Anonymousreply 18January 10, 2022 7:30 PM

You got a real purty mouth.

by Anonymousreply 19January 10, 2022 7:31 PM

"A third pitcher of Miller? Why, I'll never be able to fit into my gown for the Cotillion!'

by Anonymousreply 20January 10, 2022 7:37 PM

Y'all sho 'nuff stop hatin' on Paula Deen!

by Anonymousreply 21January 10, 2022 8:06 PM

"Coors" but pronounce it more like "Cu-u-urs," while ordering at the big city gay bar.

by Anonymousreply 22January 10, 2022 8:07 PM

Reba's no Tammy.

by Anonymousreply 23January 10, 2022 8:09 PM

Dolly vs Loretta debates instead of Madge vs Janet

by Anonymousreply 24January 10, 2022 8:15 PM

This thread would have had a lot of potential but was totally ruined by a bunch of Coastal gays.

by Anonymousreply 25January 10, 2022 8:17 PM

I only put up this picture of a shirtless guy holding a baby to reinforce my pro-life beliefs!

by Anonymousreply 26January 10, 2022 8:17 PM

I blew Randy Travis at a rest stop in Charlotte

by Anonymousreply 27January 10, 2022 8:19 PM

Goals! (But it really means my goal is to look like him and have sex with him)

Boss (means I’m a bottom and want you to be in charge when we have sex)

Nice gains (means you make my cock hard)

by Anonymousreply 28January 10, 2022 8:22 PM

Dolly is way more iconic than Judy.

by Anonymousreply 29January 10, 2022 8:25 PM

I’m not gay. I just like Ty Herndon, Billy Gilman and the Brothers Osborne music.

by Anonymousreply 30January 10, 2022 8:28 PM

Chicken fried steak, hold the gravy, no mashed potatoes, a double order of vegetables instead.

by Anonymousreply 31January 10, 2022 8:31 PM

I'm a backwoods tramp!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 32January 10, 2022 8:37 PM

"Vanilla Dr. Pepper for me, please."

by Anonymousreply 33January 10, 2022 8:40 PM

An anyone recommend a good Tea Room on the Ole Miss campus?

by Anonymousreply 34January 10, 2022 8:55 PM

Biloxi and Tunica have the BEST buffets! And just an elevator ride away from the room, too!

by Anonymousreply 35January 10, 2022 8:56 PM

We are going on down to River Bend for fried catfish and hush puppies. Do you and your husband want to join?

by Anonymousreply 36January 10, 2022 9:52 PM

I like fucking in the creek. His hole gets so tight and if there is any mess, it just washes away.

by Anonymousreply 37January 10, 2022 9:54 PM

R25 "Iffin' I ain't ride my hog up here I'd a be gettin' summa that thar dickmeat!"

by Anonymousreply 38January 10, 2022 10:10 PM

Hey boy, meet me behind the Tastee Freez 'round 2am and I'll let you love on this hog.

by Anonymousreply 39January 10, 2022 10:25 PM

Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice, fuck me in the barn.

by Anonymousreply 40January 10, 2022 11:20 PM

I'm gonna make you squeal like a pig!

by Anonymousreply 41January 10, 2022 11:20 PM

"My favorite rest area is on Rte. 35 North, outside Des Moines."

by Anonymousreply 42January 10, 2022 11:59 PM

Who's gay in NASCAR besides Tony Stewart?

by Anonymousreply 43January 11, 2022 12:14 AM

"Let's go Brandon, we will be late for the tea dance!"

by Anonymousreply 44January 11, 2022 12:15 AM

I love cruising for guys at Dollywood

by Anonymousreply 45January 11, 2022 12:17 AM

If I accessorize my work shirt, no one will know I work at WalMart.

by Anonymousreply 46January 11, 2022 12:19 AM

It's okay if I get beaten up or murdered by the Christians around here because I'm a sinner and I deserve it.

by Anonymousreply 47January 11, 2022 2:38 AM

Sucking on a chili dog, outside the Tastee Freeeeeeez

by Anonymousreply 48January 11, 2022 3:08 AM

By golly, SURE, I seed man holes up close 'afore! Daise a coupla mm up yonder dey uncover whin da rains git ta pourin. Yuk, yuk, yuk...

by Anonymousreply 49January 11, 2022 3:33 AM

I was hornswoggled by them thar heterosexualists!

by Anonymousreply 50January 11, 2022 7:58 AM

I ain't got no lube but some hot lard might do the trick!

by Anonymousreply 51January 11, 2022 8:08 AM

r51 who needs lube with the humidity?

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 52January 11, 2022 8:12 AM

Seth Sikes broke my dick, y'all!

by Anonymousreply 53January 11, 2022 11:46 AM

^ lol

by Anonymousreply 54January 11, 2022 6:16 PM

Let's square dance!

by Anonymousreply 55January 12, 2022 3:25 AM

[quote]Jack Twist? Jack NASTY!

Right here, cunt!

by Anonymousreply 56January 12, 2022 3:57 AM

I'll fuck that ass so hard I'll make that hole hum like a 10 penny nail hit with a greasy ball peen hammer.

by Anonymousreply 57January 12, 2022 1:56 PM

Me and my husband is taking our green bean casserole to the Easter social at the MCC in the county over. Want to come? Some hot me there.

by Anonymousreply 58January 12, 2022 2:29 PM

I'm buying condoms, lube, and a fleet enema at the Piggly Wiggly

by Anonymousreply 59January 12, 2022 9:10 PM

“Senator Rubio is that you?”

by Anonymousreply 60January 12, 2022 9:13 PM

[quote] I'm buying condoms, lube, and a fleet enema at the Piggly Wiggly

Hon, did you get ya Pig Perks? And don't fergit, you can always Pig-up curbside if'n you got'cha hair in curlers and don't wanna haul ya ass out the car.

by Anonymousreply 61January 12, 2022 9:21 PM

HUMMINGBIRD CAKE!

by Anonymousreply 62January 12, 2022 9:42 PM

I am pissed no end. The damn deli at the Stop 'n' Shop was out of goat guts and clabber. What am I gonna feed my kids tonight?

by Anonymousreply 63January 12, 2022 9:47 PM

Does this Confederate flag shirt make my belly look big?

by Anonymousreply 64January 12, 2022 9:55 PM

"Jethro, where'd ya put my dang go-go juice?"

by Anonymousreply 65January 12, 2022 9:58 PM

Theys given out free possum at the gay bar!

by Anonymousreply 66January 12, 2022 10:01 PM

I'm so damn old my git up & go has got up & gone!

by Anonymousreply 67January 12, 2022 10:08 PM

^ my gay git up and go has gay got up and gone

by Anonymousreply 68January 12, 2022 10:14 PM

So my wife says...

by Anonymousreply 69January 12, 2022 10:30 PM

My megachurch is the best place to cruise!

by Anonymousreply 70January 12, 2022 10:35 PM

Get on down yonder and see if that bull is doing his business

by Anonymousreply 71January 12, 2022 10:58 PM

I sucked that dick like I was eating corn on the cob.

by Anonymousreply 72January 13, 2022 12:43 AM

That boy can suck the chrome off a '57 Chevy.

by Anonymousreply 73January 13, 2022 1:18 AM

You guys seem to equate "country" with "Southern."

Says more about you than it does about the people you mock.

by Anonymousreply 74January 13, 2022 2:04 PM

r74 There are plenty of country folk in the north - we call them Trump supporters.

by Anonymousreply 75January 14, 2022 1:27 AM

"I'm wearin' no underwear under my overalls at the annual muddy sliding pig capturing contest at the fair tonight!"

by Anonymousreply 76January 14, 2022 4:37 AM

My two best lay were Jethro and Bubba!

by Anonymousreply 77January 14, 2022 4:55 AM

"Yazzum."

by Anonymousreply 78January 14, 2022 10:38 PM

Mama's making Shake 'n' Bake....and I helped!

by Anonymousreply 79January 15, 2022 1:33 AM

"Thank God I'm a country boy!"

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 80January 15, 2022 4:04 AM

"I'm fixin' to cum!!!"

by Anonymousreply 81January 15, 2022 4:06 AM

Touch my weiner, Jed

by Anonymousreply 82January 15, 2022 4:52 AM

I told Buford not to bring that damn hound dog to that 3 way I set up wth that Grindr boy

by Anonymousreply 83January 15, 2022 5:03 AM

Butcher Holler has the best cruising scene!

by Anonymousreply 84January 15, 2022 5:09 AM

"Daddy, duz this dick up my dirty basket make me look fat?"

by Anonymousreply 85January 15, 2022 1:36 PM

"Daddy does it hurt?" "Not me it don't now bend over son"

by Anonymousreply 86January 15, 2022 3:37 PM

Gertrude, I love what you have down with your double wide !!! It's so open and light-filled!!! I love the placement of that new flat panel TV you got from WalMart wih you SSI check !! Right on top of your old Zenith console very eye-catching!!!!!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 87January 15, 2022 7:08 PM

Let's have ourselves a roll in the hay.

by Anonymousreply 88January 15, 2022 7:15 PM

I working on getting me a sugar daddy. That's right, someone with a double-wide!

by Anonymousreply 89January 15, 2022 7:18 PM

Little Marcy was creepy as fuck

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 90January 15, 2022 9:59 PM

.........

by Anonymousreply 91January 17, 2022 5:59 AM

Just stick the tip in, Jim Bob!

by Anonymousreply 92January 18, 2022 2:07 AM

Jethro, just spit on the end of it!

by Anonymousreply 93January 18, 2022 4:00 AM

"Jack Nasty.."

by Anonymousreply 94January 18, 2022 4:01 AM

"Aw shucks!"

by Anonymousreply 95January 19, 2022 5:43 PM
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