Share your tips (ugh, "life hacks") with your fellow DLers

Pineapple.

OP, I just bought one. Cost me $38 bucks and takes 30 seconds.

R2 - do they sell them for roofs and hoods too? I'd LOVE that

Mine: I park in the garage.

That's definitely preferred, R4. But not an option for me, unfortunately.

Mine: I live where it don't snow.

I was just kidding, R5. I mean, I do park in the garage, but just being DL snarky.

Even if the Sara Lee cakes are marked down 5 for $1, buy only one. Otherwise you'll gorge them all down in a day. Or maybe two.

If you want to cover the whole thing, buy a car cover. Probably much more than 38 bucks but better than the time and effort put into that dance of the seven cut up garbage bag veils.

Every time you leave a room, take something out of that doesn't belong there and put it where it does.

Also, as soon as possible each morning, make your bed. It's a Youtube commencement speech thing but it sets your frame of mind.

I always HAD to make the bed as a kid, until I moved out of the house. Then in college I made it because dorm rooms were small and we'd use the bed as seating. It was a habit that I stuck with even as a young adult. Then in my 30s, sort of out of nowhere, I stopped making the bed for years. I would sometimes, but more often than not, I wouldn't. But, just as randomly, I started again after that period and now make it nearly every day. And if I don't because I'm rushing, I'll still make it when I get home.

Don't buy fitted sheets. Tie a knot at each corner of a flat sheet, instead.

Parking outside is for the Poors.

I was very diligent about making my bed, then I read that it was better to leave it unmade. Now I only make it if someone is going to see it.

Make sure your moody, post-suicidal son is in the mood for breakfast before you go to the trouble of making anything for him.

You can't save French Toast.

R12, if you turn the flat sheet sideways and align is with the edge of the top surface of the mattress at the foot, you should have room to tuck it under the head of the mattress, and more fabric to tuck deeper under the mattress on the sides, which will hold it without knots. Unless you are a really active sleeper, there isn't a need to tuck the sheet under the mattress at the foot of the bed, as it isn't visible since it is covered with the other bedding. I actually use twin flat sheets on my full bed, as the bottom sheet fully covers the mattress, and the top doesn't need to be tucked in on the sides when making the bed - though that might not work if you don't sleep alone.

Where were you when they started the Fitted Sheet War of 2022? Or will we just call it January 7th?

Why would one want to buy flat sheets instead of fitted?

Are they cheaper? Easier to fold? Associated with being "Hi-Klass"?,

Sports car in the snow and you wanna put sandbags in the rear for extra traction? Don't. Off-brand kitty litter bags are a fraction of the price.

I have 6 large safety pins that I use on each corner of the bed and 2 in the midde of each long side to attach the fitted sheet tightly to the mattress. I can not tolerate how even fitted sheets get loose and wrinkly after only one night of sleep. The safety pins keeps the sheet super tight.

They are easier to iron, fold, and store. You can also switch which is the top and which is the bottom sheet. Bottom sheets wear out faster, as they are subject to more friction.

Bottoms usually do.

I keep all my sweet pickle brine from store bought pickles. I buy cucumbers and slice them into strips and place them between thick layers of paper towels for about 4 hours to leach all the water out of them. Then I put them in jars and fill them up with the sweet pickle brine along with some added red pepper flakes for a little kick. After about 5 days in the fridge you have delicious half sweet pickles that still have a hint of the fresh cucumber in them. Delicious.

[quote] Don't buy fitted sheets.

Except sheets usually come in sets.

I was reading some youtube vids about these kind of tips. True rabbit hole material.

Instead of wasting money on toner, make an aspirin mask with 5 or so (uncoated) aspirin, water (it could be rose water) or Cetaphil, in a little pool in the palm of your hand. Rub onto your face while showering. Then rinse. Do so 1-2 times per week. Salicyclic acid is the principal metabolite of aspirin, and is a beta hydroxy acid. (Unless you are aspirin sensitive, on blood thinners or allergic)

Don't trust short men, redheads, skinny straight white men who marry fat or Asian women, women over 30 who call themselves "single moms," people who wear their glasses on a chain around their neck, Mormons,Jehovah's Witnesses, $cios, women who make a point of celebrating a white-skunk-streak in their hair, tenured or tenure-track academics, fundamentalists anythings, nurses (outside the sick room), Kanye West, Mariah Carey, or anyone who voted Republican in 2018 or 2020.

Have money - lots of it. You will find life much easier.

Anyone who irons sheets has way too much time on their hands.

R10, what sort of things end up in rooms they are not supposed to be in? It’s genuinely hard for me to see this as a problem and I am trying to think about what and how that happens.

A coat left on a chair.

A glass left on a coaster.

It’s the best piece of DL advice, and it helpfully shows up in these threads all the time.

Agree, R28, ridiculous and wearing on the material.

It took me 5 seconds after reading all of R25’s post that this did not pertain to printing.

Asian children are the best at laundering your delicates due to their small hands.

Why would someone iron sheets? That's what fabric softener sheets in the dryer are for. Just don't use them on your towels or the towels will repel water rather than absorb it.

I love freshly ironed sheets. It makes them feel soft and smooth. Dryer sheets make me feel itchy, and make my skin break out in tiny hives. They coat sheets, just like they do towels, and make the sheets breathe less.

If you're out and about and want to remind yourself to do something later use your smartphone. With iPhone, you can say "Hey Siri, set a reminder for 6:00 to .....:"

If you are visiting someone and have something in their refrigerator you need to take home with you put your car keys in there with it. You won't leave without either!

Stained food storage containers?

If they're plastic, use the power of the sun to remove red or yellow stains.

[quote]Dryer sheets make me feel itchy, and make my skin break out in tiny hives. They coat sheets, just like they do towels, and make the sheets breathe less.

Use vinegar as a fabric softener and dryer balls to rough them up as they tumble. Never use fabric softener on towels. You are right, it coats the fibres and ruins the the absorption.

I don't use fabric softener, dryer sheets or dryer balls and my clothes come out just fine. I rarely fold sheets as I tend to put them right back on my bed as soon as they are dry. No wrinkles.

R23, light pickling even can be done easily with one's own fresh ingredients rather than reusing mixed-together commercial products.

Even quality sheets need special care, so I am preserving mine by never having sex on them.

[quote] Bottom sheets wear out faster, as they are subject to more friction.

Maybe yours are. Unfortunately, not mine.

[quote] If you are visiting someone and have something in their refrigerator you need to take home with you put your car keys in there with it. You won't leave without either!

What if they don’t know you’re taking it?

Ladies, wiping back to front will cover up that smell of fish for a while.

Mine: I’m not poor.

Quick, easy, healthier creamed spinach:

Wilt one bag spinach in skillet (minced garlic optional). Add one of those 4 oz. containers of herbed cheese. Combine and serve immediately.

[quote] Instead of wasting money on toner, make an aspirin mask with 5 or so (uncoated) aspirin, water (it could be rose water)

I don't think my printer or my copier would work on that.

You don't get rips where the fabric pulls away from the pins, r20?

No I haven't noticed so far. That was a concern at first. It may be because I'm a rather little feller.

[quote]Dryer sheets make me feel itchy, and make my skin break out in tiny hives.

I like wool dryer balls, and will frequently toss a Bounce Free & Gentle in with the load as well. I hate strong laundry smells, but can't go without using anything because fabrics will get stiff or full of static.

R35, if you hold down the Siri button and say Lumos the flash light will turn on. You can also say Hey Siri, Lumos, but I find that less magical.

In the hot summer months squeeze some mint flavored toothpaste onto your wash rag and wash your naughty bits with it. You'll thank me later. Pepsodint is my favorite.

Youch R52.!

I once put CBD rub on my naughty bits and it was opening.

May not be the most earth shattering advice but it helps me all the time: If you bake ad-hoc and need room temperature eggs, leave them in hot or warm water for just five or ten minutes.

It's not home made cole slaw if it doesn't have a chunk of skin in it.

Obviously that advice only applies if you grate your cabbage and don't chopper it. My old aunt told me that but she only had a grater.

[quote] Quick, easy, healthier creamed spinach:

Healthier than what, R46? A pint of Ben and Jerrys?

[quote] They are easier to iron, fold, and store. You can also switch which is the top and which is the bottom sheet. Bottom sheets wear out faster, as they are subject to more friction.

N/A

R24 Yes, if you buy those floral-decorated polyester sheets with the "free" pillowcase at K-Mart you'll be buying a plastic-wrapped set, and you'll get what you're given.

Those of us who buy 400-thread undyed percale sheets have more options.

[quote] Those of us who buy 400-thread undyed percale sheets have more options.

Wow.

If I ever start bragging to people about how Klassee my sheets are, please shoot me.

If you don't like dryer anti-static sheets just wad up some aluminum foil into a loose ball about 4" in circumference and throw that into the dryer. That will remove all static electricity from your clothes. And you can use it over and over.

Honey, I’m not doing anything for 4”!

[quote] I once put CBD rub on my naughty bits and it was opening.

Trust me there's no youch. Toothpaste is just soap for your teeth. Using Pepsodint or any other mint flavored toothpaste in the summer will cool your junk down nicely.

But not on your sheets. The staining is a nightmare.

R51, that’s a great tip. But what do say to Siri to get him to turn OFF the flashlight?

Thanks!

If you're the sort that worries if you turned off the oven or iron, or locked the door(s), or other small task that might have consequences, utter some nonsense phrase while doing so. ("Paris egg salad," for example.) When you try to remember if you've done something you'll remember the phrase, if not the act.

Don't put your hat on the bed, it's bad luck.

Don't eat yellow snow.

Share my tips??????

Duct tape...good for many things, in a pinch.

Wear caftan for easy presentation of hole. You never know when you'll need to present.

[quote] But what do say to Siri to get him to turn OFF the flashlight?

Nox.

If you want to spend less water, only 💩 once a month, so you don't have to flush.

One word...Windex...

I stopped using fabric softener when I found out it softens fabric by breaking down the fibers. No thanks.

R73, hi, Darfur Orphan!

[quote] Duct tape...good for many things, in a pinch.

How well I know.

Look in the mirror, carefully.

The person looking back at you is the only person you can trust in this cold, lonely world.

Make the bed?

Iron the sheets?

Why would I do my maid's job?

Say "Hey Siri, vibrate the phones of the sexually promiscuous near me?" Then, look for men who pick up their phones.

Before getting in your car, empty your bladder. If you get in a wreck and are transported to the ER by ambulance, you will remain strapped to a backboard for HOURS.

[quote] I stopped using fabric softener when I found out it softens fabric by breaking down the fibers.

Fabric softener only damages synthetic fabrics. And, you don't want to be hanging out with the sorts of people who wear synthetics anyway.

Double knit! It is of the Devil.

Broadcloth is also one of Satan's scourges on mankind.

Unless you dig ditches for a living, use half the amount of laundry detergent you are currently using.

And stop using those ridiculously stupid pods!

Hair conditioner can substitute for shaving cream.

Fabric softener makes me not want to stand next to you, let alone lie down with you. I had a friend who wanted to "get together" with me (his terminology), but he absolutely reeked of dryer sheets. Turned out he used liquid fabric softener, then two dryer sheets with each load. The only place I would get naked with him was the steam room at the gym.

A friend of mine spent a few hundred dollars and had an Ozone Laundry system installed. No more detergent. It sits on the wall behind the washing machine.

If you find yourself out of toothpaste, just go into the kitchen and get the baking soda. Cake your wet toothbrush with it and brush your teeth. They'll be cleaner than ever before.

This thread has me moist as a snack cake down there.

“This thread types poor” made me lol

Go to 10:04...very helpful

If you break your spaghetti in half before boiling, point the V down into the pot instead of a Λ up into the air. More of the little bits of spaghetti that always result will fall into the pot instead of onto the floor or the stove top.

Or you could break it over the sink like everyone else R93

No, the little bits fly. I started doing this because I was tired of finding little bits of spaghetti in the corner when I swept the kitchen.

Those little bits of spaghetti are the roaches' share; you're supposed to leave the bits for them so as not to upset the balance of nature.

Unclear how the pot catches more of those "little bits" than the sink, but if it makes you happy...

Use a bigger pot so you don’t have to break spaghetti

No, it's the direction of the break that makes the difference, r97. You want the break to point down, not up. So, a V-shaped break instead of aΛ . It feels odd, your hands want the broken ends to point upward after the break, but if you point the break downward, fewer bits fly away.

And if you broke it in a V over the sink?

Who the hell breaks spaghetti?

Drain your spaghetti. It saves time.

Always wear underwear.

If you're a top and you realize you forgot to put out a towel you can use to wipe the lube off your hands, the bottom's hair makes a good substitute.

Who is breaking spaghetti?

Stupidi maiali volgari che dovrebbero perdere la lingua.

Don’t eat broken spaghetti.

Never buy new small kitchen appliances. They are all poorly made. Instead buy vintage new-in-box items on eBay.

R103, one of the first things you learn in Catholic seminary is the motto "Semper Ubi Sububi."

I wouldn't share my tip with the whores around her if I had ten condoms on it.

Can’t ever remember where you parked in a big parking garage? Take a photo of the nearest pillar that has the floor number and area painted on it (“4B” for instance). Also works with street signs on corners (“24th and Sanchez”).

If your bed sheets ball up in the dryer and then don't dry uniformly, buy these online -- Wad-Free Washer & Dryer Bed Sheet Detangler. I used to have to run my king sheets twice through the dryer after unballing them. Not anymore. These things are genius.

Seems cheesy. Totally worth the cost. I won't wash sheets without them now.

I like those detanglers. Stupid tangled and balled up sheets in the dryer bothered me a lot. Or blankets. I tie the four ends together with a shoe lace. No tangling.

Take a photo of your ID with your vaccinations card.

OP- You sound like loads of fun! Really.

I use that one R110

And when I was in my George Cllooney in Up In The Air stage of constant business travel, I also used to take a photo of my hotel room number,

[quote] "Semper Ubi Sububi."

That is Latin for "Never Break Spaghetti".

Broken spaghetti is the drained pasta of 2022.

[quote]Don’t eat broken spaghetti.

I can't eat it. My spaghetti is brokened.

These are good until they rip holes in your sheets R111

For better spaghetti once it's finished boiling pour out all the cooking water and return the pot of noodles to the burner. If you're cooking with electricity turn the element off and just use the residual heat, and if with gas turn the flame down as low as it will get. Stir the noodles in the pot to evaporate all of the remaining cooking water for a minute or so. Once your noodles are dry remove the pot from the stove and stir a ladle of two of the spaghetti sauce into the noodles. Once it's all well incorporated you're ready to turn the noodles out into a serving bowl.

Doing this will make sure the sauce will not run off the wet noodles onto your plate forming a watery puddle.

[quote] I wouldn't share my tip with the whores around her

Who?

R112, I don’t want anything called No Wad!

[quote]Also works with street signs on corners (“24th and Sanchez”)

This will be on my gravestone. Thank you!

If you are not already doing so make a plan to regularly make sure all your photos are backed up somewhere, whether it's the cloud or an external hard drive.

Keep a list of everything that is normally in your wallet so if it gets stolen or you lose it you know the information for which cards to cancel, etc.

[quote]Keep a list of everything that is normally in your wallet so if it gets stolen or you lose it you know the information for which cards to cancel, etc.

Easier still: scan or photocopy front and back of every card and keep it somewhere safe.

Don't piss in the wind.

Use an Afro pick as a knife guide to cut even slices of tomatoes and onions.

Don't trust anything I say.

[quote] Use an Afro pick

That’s racist! It’s a [italic]hair[/italic] pick!! Now I’ve got my eye on you, kid.

[quote] Use an Afro pick as a knife guide to cut even slices of tomatoes and onions.

That’s actually a fantastic idea and a great tip.

Works for melon too.

"Broken Spaghetti," an emotionally devastating duet by Adele and Chrissy Metz.

Yeah, like she’d turn down spaghetti, broken or otherwise.

In all seriousness I need to do some scanning etc with papers. And also ID where gas/electric shutoff is....am in earthquake country now

Broken spaghetti has no calories.

If like me you have no idea what your license plate # is, have a photo of it on your phone in case you need to know it in a hurry.

Don't pee in my pool and I won't swim in your toilet.

Broken spaghetti is for people in day care and nursing homes.

Couldn’t you just check your registration in your wallet?

LINDA LAVIN

BONNIE FRANKLIN

and

BONNIE BEDELIA

star in

BROKEN SPAGHETTI

“ Couldn’t you just check your registration in your wallet?”

Do people carry their car registration in their wallet?

[quote]—PATSY RAMSEY LOVING MOTHER OF JONBENET

Someone is new.

Shower mirror. I use a trimmer and a blade with high fat shaving cream (not cheap foam). There's zero cleanup. i shave before shower and it all goes down the drain. and the hair and shaving cream don't end up clogging the sink drain over time.

Making your bed every day is a useless exercise in futility. Unless you are having guest over and they can see your bed, there is no need to do that and it's just a waste of time and energy.

Buy bed bands to hold your fitted sheet in place.

Buy a crock pot and make meals in it, then freeze them for later. Saves time and money.

Get rid of cable and buy a $30 antenna. You will get crystal clear picture and a lot of channels you've never heard of and you'll save a ton of money. And yes, you can hook up a dvr just like you normally do.

Freeze your bread. Unless you are making sandwiches and need fresh bread, freeze that shit and then toast it. You'll never notice the difference and you will stop buying so much bread. Lots of bread heats up nicely after being frozen and tastes the same as if it were fresh.

Always live below your means. Never charge anything you cannot pay off immediately. The only things you should carry a balance on is a house payment or a car payment and try to avoid those if you can. Debt is slavery. Get a credit card that offers cash back or travel points and use those for all your purchases during the month (including groceries) then pay it off monthly. You'll rack up some free shit and improve your credit score.

[quote[ freeze that shit

No, R146, flush it down a toilet.

Insert floor mop into refuse bag to create improvised giant plunger to free up fat doody blocked toilet and save on plumbing call out charges. Have spare bag to hand to carefully slide shitty used one into leaving mop unsullied by its venture down the pan.

I keep a laminated scan of my driver's permit, my tag (greatly reduced), & my health insurance card, along with the registration in a secret compartment in my trunk. I also keep the same copies on my phone. I asked a cop if the scan of the driver's permit would get me out of a ticket if I got stopped without my real license and he said it would as long as their check came back clean.

And no, you should not carry your registration in your wallet. No one is ever going to ask you to see that other than a cop. Even though in my state they never ask to see your registration because they can look that up on their computer. But the law was amended years back to allow drivers to keep their registration on their smart phones and the cops have to accept that should they want to see a registration.

CHUCK IT DOWN THE PAN!

ABORT ABORT ABORT!

[quote] Do people carry their car registration in their wallet?

I thought most do. If you get stopped by a cop you’ll need it, and to keep it in your glove box isn’t a good idea either. If your car gets stolen they’ll have your name and address, too.

I think R146 and I were raised in the same household.

[quote] Have spare bag to hand to carefully slide shitty used one into leaving mop unsullied by its venture down the pan.

Say what now?

Well, r152, did you have a sister?

r152, are you my sister? Hahahaha.

I am willing to bet you are in your early to mid 50's like me. My parents grew up living in the shadow of their parents' experiences during the depression so they taught us how to live off of little. Although my mother would insist on making the bed every day. This is where I veer away from that. It's just a silly thing to do every day and there is evidence that suggests not making it is better as your body oils and sweat needs to dry.

I did R154, but trust me you couldn't be her because if you were I would have detected the smell of sulfur and brimstone coming from your post. 😀

[quote] I am willing to bet you are in your early to mid 50's like me

Well I am headed toward my mid 50s. Unfortunately I'm headed there from the opposite direction. And I've got more than a decade to get there. 😀

[quote] not cheap foam

My friend Hisstopher is so Hi-Klass.

He does not use cheap foam to shave with, but rather high-fat shaving cream. He said that is the type that European aristocrat billionaires use and that he is lucky that the Dollar Store was carrying it

[quote] Buy bed bands to hold your fitted sheet in place.

Wait, what?

Isn't the point of a fitted sheet that it doesn't move?

Do other people have this problem?

And what is up with the Eldergay Sheet Fixation? Ironed flat sheets? Fitted sheet bands? WTF Eldergays?

I tried bed bands. The ones with the connectors that are just like the things on the ends of lady's garter belts. I could never get to work. Sheets are something that I splurge on, and those clips could never get a firm enough hold onto them so they just slipped right off with the least movement. Big 4" safety pins did the job form.

So your fitted sheets slip too R160?

Is this a common problem?

Can't you just buy sheets that fit your bed?

I read the R148 post as...

Insert floor MLOP into refuse bag to create improvised giant plunger to free up fat doody blocked toilet and save on plumbing call out charges. Have spare bag to hand to carefully slide shitty used one into leaving MLOP unsullied by its venture down the pan.

One can dream...

[quote] So your fitted sheets slip too [R160]?

They don't slip as much as they get loose on the bed after one night's sleep. My mattress is 16" deep so I have to buy the fitted sheets that will accommodate that thick of a mattress. I just hate the bottom sheet not being extra tight at all times.

How the hell can you get a mop head any farther down a toilet than a couple inches from the opening? The toilet bends at 90° just below the surface of the bowl. Why not just buy a real plunger. Or better yet change your diet so your poopiedoops aren't so disgustingly thick.

[quote]A friend of mine spent a few hundred dollars and had an Ozone Laundry system installed. No more detergent. It sits on the wall behind the washing machine.

I have one too, R88. It's the best three hundred bucks I ever spent! I love the way the ozone smells and my clothes feel so much cleaner.

Men, don't spend money on those expensive pre shave beard softeners. All they are is cheap hair conditioner. Buy a big bottle of any conditioner at the dollar store and it'll do the same thing as the little tubes of beard softener you'd pay $5.95 for. And don't wipe it off your face before you put the shaving cream on. Your razor will glide over your face so easily.

[quote]If like me you have no idea what your license plate # is, have a photo of it on your phone in case you need to know it in a hurry.

Same with your VIN.

Mine: if you're so shit-faced you can'tell if it's 7 am or 7 pm just ask Siri.

Most people don't even know that their VIN is in at least 2 locations on their car. On the top of the dash in the corner and also on a label inside the driver's side door panel, along with the paint codes for your car should you ever need to buy touch up paint.

R161 Of course standard fitted sheets slip because they don't really fit your mattress. Use the tie-a-knot-in-each-corner method and you'll get those tight-fitting sheets on your bed, no more slipping.

Spray your dry cum covered sheets with Shout prior to washing to remove all the cum stains.

I'll stick with fitted sheets.

After shaving rinse your razor well with hot water making sure you've gotten all the bits of beard out of the blades. Then use a towel to dry the blades completely before you put the razor somewhere it won't get wet until you use it again. This will make your blades last weeks instead of days.

[quote] Spray your dry cum covered sheets with Shout

What are you, a wild animal? Don't you keep a cum rag next to your bed? 😀

[quote] For better spaghetti once it's finished boiling pour out all the cooking water and return the pot of noodles to the burner.

Won't that burn the spaghetti, even at low heat?

[quote] Use the tie-a-knot-in-each-corner method and you'll get those tight-fitting sheets on your bed, no more slipping.

How exactly does tying a knot on the corner of a flat sheet keep it in place? Do you mean you tie it on to something on the mattress? Or do you create some sort of loop with the knot (is there enough material for that)?

The best back scratcher in the world is a dollar store toilet brush.

Just to make sure you don’t mix them up

Listerine kill many germs not just in mouth.

Yuck R177. They make dry brushes for that.

Oh! Shave in the shower! Get some mirror. Saves time and those hair bits in the sink.

Piss in there too. OH shower douche while you are at it. 🍑

I make clove tea and it makes me feel better. You just throw in a handful , let the water boil , turn it off, and let it steep for five minutes or so. After I drink it, I feel good.

[quote] The best back scratcher in the world is a dollar store toilet brush.

I bought one of those toilet brushes once. Worked pretty good but started to hurt after a while. I went back to toilet paper.

R25 mentioned laundry detergent pods. I found out a while back that you should use powdered dishwasher detergent, not the pods, and put the powder in the little extra cup as well. The reason is that dishwashers have a pre-wash cycle at the beginning, and if you're only using the pod in the cup, which won't open until later in the process, you're missing out on a cleaning cycle during which it will be washing without detergent.

Of course, if you usually select a short cycle anyway (I do), it probably won't make much difference.

To keep open bags of salty snacks fresh, I fold over the top of the bag and cinch it with a clothespin.

I thought you used your hairclip.

What kind of trash has clothespins laying around the house? Oh, honey, no.

You’ve got to get those fancy BAG CLIPs Walmart sells.

Clothespins are handy for Recon twinks' nipples, etc.

I thought all the fat whores in here ate the whole bag of salty snacks on one sitting, so a clip to keep them fresh is unnecessary.

Clothespins work. So do document clips.

[quote] Won't that burn the spaghetti, even at low heat?

No, the cooking pot should have cooled down some by the time you pour out all the cooking water, and the noodles will still be plenty wet. Obviously you need to keep a watch on the noodles to make sure you're not overheating them. It takes very little time to evaporate the water on the noodles.

Detergent pods should always be put into the washer drum, never in the detergent cup. It tells you clearly that on the packaging. And they should be put in first before you put the clothes in.

Don't snap your spaghetti. You're killing Italians. My lifehack is put a spoon in your open sparkling wines and it'll keep bubbly in the fridge LOL

Keep from forgetting your baby in the back seat of the car by leaving your phone on the seat next to him.

[quote]Keep from forgetting your baby in the back seat of the car by leaving your phone on the seat next to him.

The state of American parenthood: they'll forget a baby, but NEVER forget their phone.

[quote] expensive pre shave beard softeners...you'd pay $5.95 for.

Don't send this guy into Kiehl's

And I asked my husband who confirmed that our fitted sheets never sleep. He said we have a mattress pad which makes the mattress less shiny/slippery and maybe that's why but that he's never had a problem with it either.

Maybe just buy bigger (or smaller?) sheets

Okay you bitches. I have this sweater (Ralph Lauren Pima cotton) that says hand wash only. I’ve never worn it much, and I’ve only occasionally given it a low heat tumble in the dryer to “freshen” it up. Now, I think it’s time to clean it. There is a small little smudgy spot on it. I have never hand washed a garment before. I’ve seen tutorials online, but they seem like a lot. It’s not like this is some super expensive sweater—should I just throw it in a delicate setting in the washing machine? I feel like the dry cleaners would screw it up. Any of you Susie Homemakers have any tips for hand washing?

R197, I would just machine wash on the most delicate setting, unless you really like the sweater and plan to keep on hand-washing it.

Hand-washing: Fill up your bathroom sink with water and a little bit of soap. Massage it around once, drain. Refill with water and massage around some more. Drain.

You can either hand squeeze it out, gently. If you have a washing machine, you can put it in the spin cycle.

Machine washing on cold/delicate should be fine, but maybe put it in a net bag so it doesn't get tossed around too much. You can dry it by starting out wrapping it in a clean towel. Lay it out in its proper shape, fold the towel around it, and roll it up. Step all over on it on the floor to squeeze out the excess water. Then lay out the sweater on a drying rack, again reshaping it if necessary.

Type 5318008 into a calculator, turn it upside down and it spells out BOOBIES.

Thanks r198 and r199!

Pay attention to minor household issues before they snowball and become huge issues.

A tear in a lampshade. Towels with loose threads. Pint-sized harlots. Don't let them get out of hand!

I have an adjustable bed, I put it on a slight incline and it makes putting the sheets on easier.

[quote] Keep from forgetting your baby in the back seat of the car by leaving your phone on the seat next to him.

Did you get lost on your way to mommy.com?

Do you know where you are?

Instead of buying toilet paper (AKA Bathroom Tissue) use 1-ply napkins. They flush as easily and can be used at the table.

[quote]high fat shaving cream

I didn't know Shimmer made shaving cream!

R141 Your Registration should be in the glove box with proof of insurance.

Why, R205? Toilet paper is cheaper than napkins.

Be sure to produce more than one child, in case one of them goes missing. - Nothing compares to... oh, forget it.

The left lane is for passing, not for hogging.

R205 Only use one square inch of TP or napkins to wipe!

Get on the property ladder as early in your career as possible. Then you won't have to worry about spending a little money on toilet paper etc etc.

[quote] Spray your dry cum covered sheets with Shout prior to washing to remove all the cum stains.

Hmmm. Should I spray my husband's back before he showers?

Sure it's dangerous and the neighbors sometimes complain about the loud hum, but my home food irradiation plant makes sure there are no flour weevils ever!

DIY ‘Blood and Bone’ fertilizer works just as well as store bought and can be easily be made from home sourced ingredients.

Cut cherry tomatoes easily by holding a serrated knife blade up and running the tomato along the blade while pinching the tomato between your thumb and forefinger. No more chasing rolling tomatoes around the cutting board (no cutting board cleanup either).

As far as snow on the car, I have one of those triangle-shaped shade canopies, and I stretch it across the front windshield. It's easy to remove and makes it a snap to get the snow off the windsheld later. I could put one on the back it's much steeper and doesn't collect much snow. I use a broom to push snow off the hood and the top of the car. I park the car where the morning sun will hit it and that usualky takes care of most snow, frost or ice. We live in the high desert, but we do get 7 or 8 snows per year. We got 10 inches of snow this past December 14th. Now DRIVING on snow or ice... that's a whole 'nother matter.

A stitch in time saves nine

A little dab'll do ya

Whenever cooking, always start off by filling one side of your sink opposite the garbage disposal with warm soapy water. Clean as you go constantly while cooking, so when you're all done you hardly have anything left to clean up afterwards.

Sleep in a coffin. That way, if you die in your sleep, you will save on funeral expenses.

Fitted sheets in the dryer tend to collect other items inside them and roll into a ball that just won't dry. So I take one of these plastic hanger clips and clip the four corners of the fitted sheet together so that other items can't be trapped inside the fitted sheet. Since starting to do this I have only had one small item get trapped inside the fitted sheet. Clothes pins or large safety pins might also work, but this is what I had on hand when I came up with the idea.

When traveling by car dress as if you will be outside. If your car breaks down in cold weather you need your coat!

[quote] Cut cherry tomatoes easily by holding a serrated knife blade up and running the tomato along the blade...

Why would anyone want to cut cherry tomatoes? The whole point of their small size is you don't have to slice them.

Place the cherry tomatoes between two plastic take-out container lids (facing rim to rim) and slice right through all them lil maters at once.

R204, that was for Mr. Cooper.

r19 or get snow tires....

R225, I used to do that after Julia from America's Test Kitchen suggested it, and it's not a simple as you'd think to guide the knife smoothy between the lids. Plus you have to have a sufficient number of tomatoes in there to keep the lids from wobbling around - you have to adjust where you hold the lids mid-cut to avoid slicing your hand. And the tomatoes all have to be roughly the same size, (which of course they never are).

Try my suggestion, you may also never go back to the lids.

Thank you, fitted sheet substitute advice givers! I despise folding fitted sheets, and I never have enough of them. And yet I have lots of flat sheets somehow. This has been an ongoing minor frustration throughout my life. And you have solved it. Excellent thread.

Percentages work either way, so 8% of 25 has the same answer as 25% of 8. Just choose the one that's easiest to do in your head.

Dippity-Do saved my marriage!

Interesting, R230. That is good tip.

Marry me r35.

If you ever saw Summer Stock (1950), at the beginning, before leaving her bedroom, in the morning, Judy Garland turns down her bed covers and top sheet, and puts the pillows on the foot of the bed rather than making the bed. I remember my mom did something like this - she wouldn't make the beds until later in the day, and she would also shake out the sheets and reverse them, etc.

[quote]Why would anyone want to cut cherry tomatoes? The whole point of their small size is you don't have to slice them.

Why would anyone want to eat them?

I'm still shocked at the OP being too lazy to clean her car off when it snows so she goes through a ritual of bagging her car roof.

Laziness and OCD are a terrible combination.

certainly the frozen layer is easy to get off, dumbass.

R236 It seems easier just to brush the snow off the car with a snow broom/rake (one of those rubber rectangles on a stick). If it's frozen, you just start the car earlier and put the defrosters on. The bags are not a bad idea but for me it would be impractical, somehow.

Incidentally my dad thought up and made one of those things out of rubber and wood, on a broomstick, 50 years ago, and didn't think to patent the idea. He even made a few for the neighbors.

Even though calculators are common and almost everyone has one on their phone, do some arithmetic on paper once in a while to keep those skills fresh in your mind.

Also do simple geometry quizzes and puzzles, simple algebra puzzles and those "logic problems" where you arrive at an answer by deductions using clues.

Also do crossword puzzles to refresh your vocabulary. All of these puzzles can keep your skills sharp and help you deal with real-world situations more easily.

r239 has a Reader's Digest subscription.

I have tried turning on the defroster to get the windshield clear of frost or ice, and it eventually works, but it seems to take forever. I've had more success parking the car so that the windshield will be facing the sun when it comes up. The sun does the job in just a few minutes. If it's cloudy, of course, that's not an option.

You and I think alike R222. That's because we were raised right.

Have trouble opening some overtight jars? Don't buy one of those expensive jar opener thingies. Go to your auto parts store and buy yourself a cheap rubber strap oil filter wrench like the attached. It makes getting any size jar lid off a cinch. I found mine at Dollar Tree years ago and it still works a treat.

Place a wooden spoon across the spaghetti pot when boiling pasta and the pasta won't foam up and boil over thus causing a disastrous mess on your harvest gold Tappan range.

Keep a big spray bottle with 1 to 1 water & rubbing alcohol. If you get ice or snow on your car spray it down with the alcohol solution and watch it melt like crazy.

If you've washed some dishes in the sink and have a big mound of bubble foam left when you drain the water that same solution will make bubbles disappear in a split second.

If you're bathtub's not deep enough for your liking, just flip around.

This thread reminds me of reading Hints From Heloise in the paper (where vinegar and/or pantyhose apparently could solve nearly any household problem). Well done, DL! I'm putting a clothespin in my laundry basket for the next time I wash The Bane Of DL's Entire Existence: Fitted Sheets. Thanks for the tip, R222!

shit, your^

A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.

[quote] Place a wooden spoon across the spaghetti pot when boiling pasta and the pasta won't foam up and boil over

I’ve read and heard of this, but I have no idea as to the reasoning behind it.

Why doesn’t it boil over because there’s a wooden spoon on top of it?

R239 --? How are those things tips or life hacks?

R250 It doesn't actually work

Ahhh.

It does work. It increases the surface area for the bubbles to pop on. Same thing works when you pour soda too fast and it bubbles up. Stick your fingers in the bubble to increase surface area and the pop foam will go down faster.

R254 Ok, Mr. Science. It didn't work for me. It works to some extent but the pot still tends to bubble over.

R256 I don't get it. Does your bathtub have a deep end?

(I mean mine is probably an inch deeper on that end?)

i think it's the oil on your finger and the spoon.

6th grade science teacher?

and coke does cook meat.

[quote] and coke does cook meat.

But not it it’s laced with fentanyl.

Here's an article on the spoon on boiling water trick.

[quote] The wooden spoon, with its rugged texture, has lots of surface area, explains Scott Beaver, who has a doctorate in chemical engineering and founded the online chemistry education website Learn With Dr. Scott. “That makes lots of opportunities for bubbles to start absorbing and wicking into the wood,” Beaver explains. “This stretches the bubble. The stretching force to pull the bubble apart becomes greater than the force of surface tension to hold the bubble together. So the bubble collapses.” When this happens over and over, the foam goes down.

sick your oily finger in a fizzy drink!

Reader's Digest doesn't have puzzles. Try again.

nah...

disposable shower curtains from the Dollar Store come in very handy. You can use them as a drop cloth when painting. I had a garage sale and ran out of tables, so I just unwrapped a few shower curtains and put the items on top of it. That way they weren't laying on the ground

If I have to clean up anything really dirty, I just put a shower curtain underneath it.

[quote] That way they weren't laying on the ground

Lying.

He is not!

I keep a black spray bottle filled with 50% rubbing alcohol and 50% hydrogen peroxide in the shower, and use it to spray down the shower curtain liner after a shower. This helps keep buildup off the curtain liner.

The bottle is black because light will break down peroxide.

Always such a lot of fuss about pasta on the DL.

[quote] Reader's Digest doesn't have puzzles.

Hmmm

R266 you made me laugh out loud. Bravo.

I'm all for being clean and organized, but disposable shower curtains sound really bad for the environment. Yes, buy cheap ones, but don't throw them out after one use.

[quote] Place a wooden spoon across the spaghetti pot when boiling pasta and the pasta won't foam up and boil over

[quote] It does work. It increases the surface area for the bubbles to pop on.

[quote] Same thing works when you pour soda too fast and it bubbles up. Stick your fingers in the bubble to increase surface area and the pop foam will go down faster.

If I stick my finger in to the boiling spaghetti pot will stop it from foaming up?

[quote] but don't throw them out after one use.

Then what should be done with them?

[R168] LMAO It's better than calling 9-1-1

My tip: did you shrink your woolen sweater?? Put it to soak with any kind of hair conditioner in the water. Rinse. Shape, then dry flat.

r244, turn the stove down to medium high once you add pasta to boiling water and it will not boil over.

With cherry tomatoes I take 2 round plastic lids that are deep enough to be about half the height of the tomatoes. I load a bunch of tomatoes in the lid, put the other lid on top and then just slice through the middle of the two lids. Perfectly sliced cherry tomatoes.

I got sick of hauling load after load of yard debris to the street for the county to pick up every few weeks. The work was back breaking. In the fall months I get tons of pine needles that fall in my back yard from 3 gigantic trees. Over the fall season it would take no less than 30 loads in my pull behind cart I connect to the lawn tractor. So, I ordered a 10/12' piece of heavy duty canvas from Home Depot. On one end I stapled the canvas to a 1x4 I had drilled two holes in about 4' apart from the middle. In those holes I inserted a 5' piece of nylon rope and tied knots on the ends. Now I can connect the canvas sled to the hitch on my lawn tractor and pull it all around the yard and put all the yard debris on it and drag it out to the street in 1 trip.

I have that baby boa (strap) wrench posted above. I like to re-use jars, e.g., the Tostitos salsa jar is a really good storage container. You can get the lid off without damaging the lid (e.g., hitting it with a metal butter knife).

[quote] I load a bunch of tomatoes in the lid, put the other lid on top and then just slice through the middle of the two lids.

Can’t you just smush the top lid down on the bottom one and have sauce?

No wire hangers, EVER!!!!

I actually like to slice through the "poles" of the fruits / veg (stem to bottom or across the equator). These "hacks" sound sort of random in how you're slicing these tomatoes.

You can buy bags of plastic drop cloths at Home Depot, really cheap. 9 ft by 12 ft - 6 for 10 or 11 bucks. I don't get using something else when there are things made for that purpose.

Ladies : wiping back to front is the REASON you get a fishy smell.

The word "hack" is like "joint" for film work.

It makes me hack up my lunch and wish I had a joint to forget it.

R284 I know, hack drives me crazy as a term, where did it come from?

[quote] Can’t you just smush the top lid down on the bottom one and have sauce?

I'm cutting them for salad, not sauce.

Do you think your stomach knows the difference? Do you swallow them whole too?

Be rich and pay people to take care of your problems for you.

To make life much easier, ditch DIY projects in favor of PSE.

R281, another good point and easily done with my method of running the tomato along the upturned knife blade.

R276 see RR228

I think R264 knows other secrets... like where the bodies are buried.

Disposable shower curtain uses, indeed.

You don’t know nuthin’, r291. You got that? Nuthin’!

Do not use children as bartenders. It is unseemly and they use too much vermouth.

If you need a hack to cut cherry tomatoes, you're eating too many cherry tomatoes. Cutting a pint of cherry tomatoes shouldn't take more than a minute.

^^Gordon Ramsey.

Yeah, I don't think I'd cut cherry tomatoes. They're mostly juice. Grape tomatoes, I do cut, though.

Get a small twig

Chew on one end

Then brush it against the surface of your teeth

I will not be shamed for my cherry tomato addiction. Regardless, my way of cutting them is easier.

Apples are nature’s mouthwash.

Watch out for wigs.

I’d like to thank R46 for the creamed spinach “hack” (ugh). I just made it and it turned out delicious. I used regular Alouette spread, next time I’ll use light. Much easier than fussing with butter and cream and Parmesan or whatever. I did include some minced garlic.

Also thanks to whoever posted the Lumos/Nox trick, I’ve been delighting my friends with that one. You never know when you might be tied up in a trunk and need some light!

When you run out of sugar, salt or flour... coke is a great substitute.

R282 Disposable plastic is bad for the planet. You should use a reusable substitute whenever possible. Canvas is an excellent choice.

[quote] Also thanks to whoever posted the Lumos/Nox trick,

+1.

I’ve been using it since I saw the tip. Makes it much easier in certain situations, so I thank you also.

If your baby won't stop crying, but a used Target bag around it's head until he or she does.

Is r277 a top?

Never play leap frog with a unicorn.

That’s fucking hilarious, r307!

I scared my cat when I burst out laughing.

Good show, old man!

Thank you R308.

Are you new here, R306? R277 is the leziest lesbian who ever lezed.

Could’ve been Che

To extend shelf life, soak berries in 125 degree water for 30 seconds, drain and refrigerate. It will slow mold growth and make them last longer.

I've heard of that, only the water has white vinegar added to it. Let them soak in it a few minutes, then drain. The berries don't retain any taste of vinegar.

You NEVER drain your berries! NEVER!!

This is a weird one, but sometimes you will buy a piece of clothing that itches for no reason, or has a fabric scent that doesn't totally go away with washing. I have found that putting said items out in very cold weather - below freezing - more or less eliminates these problems.

For clear ice cubes, fill the tray with hot water, not room temperature.

Thanks, Tony.

If you see an item you're interested in buying on eBay, put it on your watchlist. Chances are the seller will contact you with a private offer at a lower price. They usually will negotiate if the offer is still too high for you.

For the broken spaghetti posters, the best way to make spaghetti or any pasta is in the microwave using a Fasta Pasta cooker. Your spaghetti will turn out perfectly and it frees you up from watching a boiled pot so you can do other things while the pasta cooks.

Clean your dishwasher every six months including the filters in the bottom. All it takes is time, baking soda, and vinegar. This video shows you how!

If unexpected guests stop by, pretend that you’re not home.

[quote] To extend shelf life, soak berries in 125 degree water for 30 seconds, drain and refrigerate. It will slow mold growth and make them last longer.

Does that work with dingle-berries?

Lightly crumple parchment paper before lining baking dishes or cookie sheets to prevent it from curling up.

R323 ooh now that’s a deep cut tip

R323 What's the difference if the parchment paper is lightly crumpled or curled up? Or do your baking dishes and cookie sheets curl up? I must be too thick to understand this tip.

If they have hacks for baking, I think they may be the thick ones.

They like brownies.

Indoor wintertime air extremely dry?

Buy a folding clothes rack and wash some laundry.

Place the rack in your bedroom or elsewhere where the evaporating moisture will do the most good.

Poor man's humidifier and it WORKS!

^^ or just crack a window.

The outdoor air is often even drier than inside!

R254 = bean flicker

When speaking to a group, into a microphone, or on a Zoom chat take the fucking gum out of your mouth! You don't need a few chews between thoughts and we can all see and hear it in your mouth. I'm always surprised how little home training the average savage received from their parents!

[quote] or just crack a window.

I did that once. Boy, was my husband pissed.

Turns out it’s very expensive to replace.

Here is an actual tip. If you use a razer ( 3, 4, 5 blades) after you rinse it, dry it off and store the head in a small glass of mineral oil. It will extend the sharpness of the blades to months. The blades don't dull, they rust. The mineral oil stops the rusting. The downside is if you have one with a bunch of shit on it (like lube strips or rubber around the razer, the oil will ruin it but the razer works just fine).

Learn to spell, r333

[quote] Here is an actual tip.

I have another one. Those little red squiggly lines under certain words are not for emphasis.

R168, I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I'm absolutely guilty of doing this. In my defense though, it wasn't do to alcohol. During the winter months where I live (in the northeast) it's dark in the morning as well as getting dark early in the evening. 6am looks like 6pm. I've jumped out of bed in a panic thinking I needed to be at work only to realize it was 6pm.

[quote] it wasn't do to alcohol.

Oh, dear!

Toothpaste (not gel) will remove scuff marks from your floor.

R337, unlike your sad ass defacto.

R168 R336 I thought I was the only one who panicked at waking with no sense of day or night.

R339, you think I’m de facto?

Are you high?

I’ve been here under the same name and same shit for years.

FOH.

fuc u icon spel

Keep track of when you're water heater was installed and replace it before it is too late.

The easiest way to extend the life of berries is to just FREEZE them. Why bother with soaking them at a certain temperature, or soaking them in vinegar? It's not an actual hack if it requires more work.

[quote] Keep track of when you're water heater was installed

Oh, dear!

When cooking tomato sauce, sprinkle some baking soda on the surface, it cuts acidity immediately.

Ooooh, that’s interesting.

Do you stir it in, or…?

R343: Your advice is especially sage when your water heater is in your attic.

You will want to replace it before it fails creating a terrible mess below it.

Could I get a tip re how to tell the top from the bottom of my a) iPhone and b) Apple TV remote?