Hello and thank you for being a DL contributor. We are changing the login scheme for contributors for simpler login and to better support using multiple devices. Please click here to update your account with a username and password.

Hello. Some features on this site require registration. Please click here to register for free.

Hello and thank you for registering. Please complete the process by verifying your email address. If you can't find the email you can resend it here.

Hello. Some features on this site require a subscription. Please click here to get full access and no ads for $1.99 or less per month.

Let's be a Seinfeld episode during the pandemic.

I'm Kramer, trying to convince the others to invest in a start-up rapid test company.

by Anonymousreply 71January 19, 2022 6:24 PM

I'm Newman, I got a bad case of the Rona cause I'm fat and an anti-vaxxer.

Jerry is sure he won't get it because he's so thin.

by Anonymousreply 1January 4, 2022 3:37 PM

I'm Elaine, who finally achieved my dream of dating a doctor just prior to the start of the pandemic. Unfortunately, he's been too busy at the hospital for me to show him off in public. "But, Jer-ry, the point of dating a doctor is making everyone jealous. If I can't do that, then why bother?"

by Anonymousreply 2January 4, 2022 3:38 PM

Oh good one, R1. Newman is for sure an anti-vaxxer!

by Anonymousreply 3January 4, 2022 3:39 PM

I'm George, paranoid about catching the virus and I go overboard with gloves, masks, faceshields and so on....even when I'm alone in my apartment.

by Anonymousreply 4January 4, 2022 3:42 PM

I’m the line “That’s a shame.”

by Anonymousreply 5January 4, 2022 3:43 PM

I'm Elaine trying to figure out which events are n95 worthy.

by Anonymousreply 6January 4, 2022 3:47 PM

I'm the laugh track, letting the audience know the funny bits as they try their hardest to stop letting their minds slip into the inescapable abyss of despair we call reality.

I also managed to elevate one of the most mediocre TV shows ever into the most popular sitcom of all time.

by Anonymousreply 7January 4, 2022 3:48 PM

Kramer believes it's a hoax so he goes to a nursing home to entertain the poor isolated residents. I'm the spastic way he coughs and sneezes in the middle of his Andrews Sister's medley

by Anonymousreply 8January 4, 2022 3:49 PM

I'm Jerry's eyes, rolling back while Jerry waits in line for a PCR test with George who is practically in a full hazmat suit.

by Anonymousreply 9January 4, 2022 3:51 PM

I am Jerry’s apartment, even more aseptic than before. Cereal deliveries once a week and that’s all in terms of visitors.

by Anonymousreply 10January 4, 2022 3:56 PM

I'm Frank and Estelle Costanza. We both die of COVID, giving George ... mixed feelings.

by Anonymousreply 11January 4, 2022 3:57 PM

George blames his "shrinkage" on long Covid when he never had Covid at all.

"But Jerry I had it twice, I sware!"

by Anonymousreply 12January 4, 2022 3:58 PM
Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 13January 4, 2022 3:59 PM

I'm George, paranoid about the virus but want's an exposure so he can have paid time off work.

by Anonymousreply 14January 4, 2022 4:00 PM

George reads an article online that Covid can cure baldness and debates whether it is worth knowingly exposing himself to the virus.

by Anonymousreply 15January 4, 2022 4:00 PM

They were all sociopaths but George was such an extreme one that he seems created precisely for Covid bad behavior.

by Anonymousreply 16January 4, 2022 4:02 PM

I wish Larry David had devoted more of Curb Your Enthusiasm to the pandemic, I really do feel like there was a goldmine he missed out on by skipping into the future past it. He did have the "Albert Brooks is a COVID hoarder" gag this season at least

by Anonymousreply 17January 4, 2022 4:03 PM

I’m the cameos from female cast members of Modern Family, Superstore and the Chuck Lorre stable playing potential love interests.

by Anonymousreply 18January 4, 2022 4:03 PM

I'm Frank and I'm an anti-vaxxer and believer in Ivermectin.

by Anonymousreply 19January 4, 2022 4:15 PM

I'm Elaine. Now I HAVE to be there.

by Anonymousreply 20January 4, 2022 4:23 PM

I'm the sponges. If you thought I was in short supply before . . .

by Anonymousreply 21January 4, 2022 4:29 PM

I'm COVID, giving George the Mother of All Buffer Zones.

by Anonymousreply 22January 4, 2022 4:31 PM

[quote]Jerry finds his new girlfriend less attractive with a mask off.

I could so see that plotline.

by Anonymousreply 23January 4, 2022 4:32 PM

Agree R17

Larry getting into arguments with people who had their masks below their noses was a given.

Ditto Suzy freaking out about Jeff going somewhere and "bringing the Covid virus into our home!"

by Anonymousreply 24January 4, 2022 4:35 PM

I am Puddy, claiming to have “natural immunity,” and wondering why Elaine will no longer let me do The Move, or anything else, with her.

by Anonymousreply 25January 4, 2022 4:38 PM

Not to belabor the point that's only tangentially related to this thread but another reason I wish Curb tackled the pandemic as well since Cheryl Hines' real-life husband is that antivax asshole Robert Kennedy Jr

by Anonymousreply 26January 4, 2022 5:33 PM

I'm Peggy, Elaine's germaphobe coworker and, even though Elaine is vaxxed, I won't work on any projects with her until she takes a rapid test in front of me and Mr. Peterman. I know that she's still sleeping with that religious QAnon antivaxx nut Puddy.

by Anonymousreply 27January 4, 2022 5:41 PM

This is brilliant

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 28January 4, 2022 5:41 PM

I'm Postmaster General Newman. I was appointed by President Trump.

by Anonymousreply 29January 4, 2022 5:42 PM

I'm the prescient episode where Elaine dates David the moving company guy who says "Ya know, some day, we'll have enough justices on the court to overturn abortion."

by Anonymousreply 30January 4, 2022 5:45 PM

I'm R7 on this thread. In addition to coming here just to shit on a perfectly.gpod thread. But I'm also here to let all of you know how much smarter I am than you jack asses, how superior I am to you mere mortals, and how above it all I want to appear to you cultural heathens.

by Anonymousreply 31January 4, 2022 6:06 PM

I'm the body count at Del Boca Vista Phase II.

by Anonymousreply 32January 4, 2022 6:10 PM

I'm the lobster bisque.

by Anonymousreply 33January 4, 2022 9:57 PM

I'm Rochelle, Rochelle.

by Anonymousreply 34January 4, 2022 9:59 PM

I'm the bay-beeeee!

by Anonymousreply 35January 4, 2022 10:00 PM

I'm the now deceased Soup Nazi.

by Anonymousreply 36January 4, 2022 10:03 PM

I'm the kevorka, useless because I can't get through the masks.

by Anonymousreply 37January 4, 2022 10:10 PM

I'm the Soup Nazi demanding to see your papers... your NYC COVID Safe App! No vaxx? No soup for you!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 38January 4, 2022 10:26 PM

I'm the Anti-Dentite League: also Anti-Vaxx.

by Anonymousreply 39January 5, 2022 12:35 AM

I'm the Ass-Man: because of COVID, my practice has gone down the crapper because everyone's afraid of catching it.

by Anonymousreply 40January 5, 2022 12:36 AM

I'm JFK's golf clubs: please do not handle without sanitizing wipes.

by Anonymousreply 41January 5, 2022 12:38 AM

I'm the squirrels. The "deal" is off.

by Anonymousreply 42January 5, 2022 12:38 AM

I'm Bubble Boy and I'm laughing at all you morons outside the bubble.

by Anonymousreply 43January 5, 2022 5:52 AM

I am George”s man-crush Tony. After all this time, George confesses to me that he thinks “It moved. Again.”

by Anonymousreply 44January 5, 2022 12:41 PM

Jerry hates both loud talkers and low talkers. Loud talkers cause they spew Covid, low talkers cause you have to get close to hear them. Show revolves around Jerry trying to make everyone a medium talker.

by Anonymousreply 45January 5, 2022 3:36 PM

Elaine takes the position that you only have a moral obligation go to one Covid funeral a month. George, Kramer and Jerry agree but everyone else is appalled.

Kramer believes only "bad people" die of Covid. "It's true, Jerry!"

by Anonymousreply 46January 5, 2022 3:41 PM

[quote]I am Puddy, claiming to have “natural immunity,” and wondering why Elaine will no longer let me do The Move, or anything else, with her.

I’m ‘the whole sex through a sheet thing’ conversation Elaine forces Jerry into, as she’s not so sure she’s ready to give up… ‘The Move’.

Jerry: How the hell should I know?

Elaine: Because you’re… y’know..

Jerry: I know what?

Elaine: You know, you… your people - that whole schmear.

Jerry: That whole schmear - what’re you, Henny Youngman?!

by Anonymousreply 47January 5, 2022 4:00 PM

I'm the Ugly Baby. Elaine is urged by Facebook to friend me, so she goes to my page thinking, "Let's see what that ugly mug looks like all grown up." When she sees my obituary at the top of the page, she shrugs and clicks off without reading it, correctly assuming I died of COVID-19. She will never think of me again.

by Anonymousreply 48January 5, 2022 4:31 PM

I'm the Sleeping Over Is OPTIONAL rule - is COVID the greatest thing ever, or what?

by Anonymousreply 49January 6, 2022 8:07 PM

I'm the coffee shop. You can pick your Big Salad up curbside now!

by Anonymousreply 50January 6, 2022 8:09 PM

I'm the New York Rangers. Fuckin' MSG almost empty except for a few nutjobs with painted faces.

by Anonymousreply 51January 6, 2022 8:11 PM

I'm spend mody og my time on DL now because dating hot twinks is now off the table.

by Anonymousreply 52January 6, 2022 8:13 PM

^*most of my time on . . .

(or, how to ruin a good line when the keyboard moves)

by Anonymousreply 53January 6, 2022 8:14 PM

I'm Crazy Joe Davola.

If you think COVID is enough to stop me, think again.

by Anonymousreply 54January 6, 2022 8:16 PM

I'm Elaine trying to come up with a creative description for a mask for the J. Peterman catalog, Mr. Peterman has rejected four versions so far.

by Anonymousreply 55January 6, 2022 8:18 PM

I'm Elaine, only sleeping with guys who are Covid-worthy.

by Anonymousreply 56January 6, 2022 8:21 PM

If you thought there was a shortage of sponges before, you should see the shelves now...

by Anonymousreply 57January 6, 2022 8:23 PM

I'm Jerry and crew, so starved of movie entertainment that we've started watching all of Melrose Place from beginning to end.

by Anonymousreply 58January 6, 2022 8:26 PM

I’m Elaine’s nipple that shows up on the Christmas zoom party.

by Anonymousreply 59January 6, 2022 8:29 PM

I'm Puddy, taking social distancing to the extreme as Elaine comes closer for a kiss: "What? Are you kidding? I'm not kissing you. You've probably got multiple strains of Covid replicating in that petri dish of a mouth of yours this second. Fix me a sandwich. Wear gloves!" Thinks to self before fade-out: "Jerry? I'd kiss Jerry! Jerry's got a clean mouth...."

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 60January 6, 2022 8:34 PM

I'm Elaine busting a move on the sidewalk as a car drives by blasting music. From her jerky movements all other pedestrians erroneously surmise that she's suffering as they scatter, screaming "Covid case!!! Covid case!!!"

by Anonymousreply 61January 6, 2022 8:40 PM

I'm Estelle screaming at George over the phone who refuses to purchase a tube of Monistat for her while she's quarantined. "WHY CAN'T YOU DO THIS FOR ME?!! MOIRA CASHMAN SWORE TO ME THAT MONISTAT KILLS COVID, AND NOW MY OWN SON WANTS ME DEAAAAAD!! ALL YOUR LIFE YOU NEVAH LOVED MEEEEE!!"

by Anonymousreply 62January 6, 2022 8:57 PM

I’m the Junior Mint that Kramer accidentally dropped into Elaine’s ex’s ventilator hose.

by Anonymousreply 63January 6, 2022 8:57 PM

I'm all the guns pointed at the close talker!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 64January 6, 2022 9:02 PM

I'm the girl that Jerry rejects for being a "double-masker".

by Anonymousreply 65January 6, 2022 9:40 PM

Kramer won't wear a mask because he's "got nothing to hide, Jerry. Nothing to hide."

by Anonymousreply 66January 6, 2022 10:07 PM

I'm Sue Ellen Mischke and I've decided I'm not going to wear the bra top anymore. It's my right and don't infringe upon my freedom!

by Anonymousreply 67January 6, 2022 10:11 PM

Good thread

by Anonymousreply 68January 14, 2022 7:43 AM

I'm COVID: I'm real, and I'm SPECTACULAR!

by Anonymousreply 69January 19, 2022 1:40 AM

I’m Elaine who can’t get vaxxed because she’s being blackballed by doctors but doesn’t want to take the worm killing remedy because her tapeworm keeps her thin.

by Anonymousreply 70January 19, 2022 1:58 AM

I'm alternate side of the street parking rules, suspended during the pandemic because no one is going anywhere.

by Anonymousreply 71January 19, 2022 6:24 PM
Loading
Need more help? Click Here.

Yes indeed, we too use "cookies." Take a look at our privacy/terms or if you just want to see the damn site without all this bureaucratic nonsense, click ACCEPT. Otherwise, you'll just have to find some other site for your pointless bitchery needs.

×

Become a contributor - post when you want with no ads!