Let's be a Seinfeld episode during the pandemic.

I'm Newman, I got a bad case of the Rona cause I'm fat and an anti-vaxxer.

Jerry is sure he won't get it because he's so thin.

I'm Elaine, who finally achieved my dream of dating a doctor just prior to the start of the pandemic. Unfortunately, he's been too busy at the hospital for me to show him off in public. "But, Jer-ry, the point of dating a doctor is making everyone jealous. If I can't do that, then why bother?"

Oh good one, R1. Newman is for sure an anti-vaxxer!

I'm George, paranoid about catching the virus and I go overboard with gloves, masks, faceshields and so on....even when I'm alone in my apartment.

I’m the line “That’s a shame.”

I'm Elaine trying to figure out which events are n95 worthy.

I'm the laugh track, letting the audience know the funny bits as they try their hardest to stop letting their minds slip into the inescapable abyss of despair we call reality.

I also managed to elevate one of the most mediocre TV shows ever into the most popular sitcom of all time.

Kramer believes it's a hoax so he goes to a nursing home to entertain the poor isolated residents. I'm the spastic way he coughs and sneezes in the middle of his Andrews Sister's medley

I'm Jerry's eyes, rolling back while Jerry waits in line for a PCR test with George who is practically in a full hazmat suit.

I am Jerry’s apartment, even more aseptic than before. Cereal deliveries once a week and that’s all in terms of visitors.

I'm Frank and Estelle Costanza. We both die of COVID, giving George ... mixed feelings.

George blames his "shrinkage" on long Covid when he never had Covid at all.

"But Jerry I had it twice, I sware!"

I'm George, paranoid about the virus but want's an exposure so he can have paid time off work.

George reads an article online that Covid can cure baldness and debates whether it is worth knowingly exposing himself to the virus.

They were all sociopaths but George was such an extreme one that he seems created precisely for Covid bad behavior.

I wish Larry David had devoted more of Curb Your Enthusiasm to the pandemic, I really do feel like there was a goldmine he missed out on by skipping into the future past it. He did have the "Albert Brooks is a COVID hoarder" gag this season at least

I’m the cameos from female cast members of Modern Family, Superstore and the Chuck Lorre stable playing potential love interests.

I'm Frank and I'm an anti-vaxxer and believer in Ivermectin.

I'm Elaine. Now I HAVE to be there.

I'm the sponges. If you thought I was in short supply before . . .

I'm COVID, giving George the Mother of All Buffer Zones.

[quote]Jerry finds his new girlfriend less attractive with a mask off.

I could so see that plotline.

Agree R17

Larry getting into arguments with people who had their masks below their noses was a given.

Ditto Suzy freaking out about Jeff going somewhere and "bringing the Covid virus into our home!"

I am Puddy, claiming to have “natural immunity,” and wondering why Elaine will no longer let me do The Move, or anything else, with her.

Not to belabor the point that's only tangentially related to this thread but another reason I wish Curb tackled the pandemic as well since Cheryl Hines' real-life husband is that antivax asshole Robert Kennedy Jr

I'm Peggy, Elaine's germaphobe coworker and, even though Elaine is vaxxed, I won't work on any projects with her until she takes a rapid test in front of me and Mr. Peterman. I know that she's still sleeping with that religious QAnon antivaxx nut Puddy.

This is brilliant

I'm Postmaster General Newman. I was appointed by President Trump.

I'm the prescient episode where Elaine dates David the moving company guy who says "Ya know, some day, we'll have enough justices on the court to overturn abortion."

I'm R7 on this thread. In addition to coming here just to shit on a perfectly.gpod thread. But I'm also here to let all of you know how much smarter I am than you jack asses, how superior I am to you mere mortals, and how above it all I want to appear to you cultural heathens.

I'm the body count at Del Boca Vista Phase II.

I'm the lobster bisque.

I'm Rochelle, Rochelle.

I'm the bay-beeeee!

I'm the now deceased Soup Nazi.

I'm the kevorka, useless because I can't get through the masks.

I'm the Soup Nazi demanding to see your papers... your NYC COVID Safe App! No vaxx? No soup for you!

I'm the Anti-Dentite League: also Anti-Vaxx.

I'm the Ass-Man: because of COVID, my practice has gone down the crapper because everyone's afraid of catching it.

I'm JFK's golf clubs: please do not handle without sanitizing wipes.

I'm the squirrels. The "deal" is off.

I'm Bubble Boy and I'm laughing at all you morons outside the bubble.

I am George”s man-crush Tony. After all this time, George confesses to me that he thinks “It moved. Again.”

Jerry hates both loud talkers and low talkers. Loud talkers cause they spew Covid, low talkers cause you have to get close to hear them. Show revolves around Jerry trying to make everyone a medium talker.

Elaine takes the position that you only have a moral obligation go to one Covid funeral a month. George, Kramer and Jerry agree but everyone else is appalled.

Kramer believes only "bad people" die of Covid. "It's true, Jerry!"

[quote]I am Puddy, claiming to have “natural immunity,” and wondering why Elaine will no longer let me do The Move, or anything else, with her.

I’m ‘the whole sex through a sheet thing’ conversation Elaine forces Jerry into, as she’s not so sure she’s ready to give up… ‘The Move’.

Jerry: How the hell should I know?

Elaine: Because you’re… y’know..

Jerry: I know what?

Elaine: You know, you… your people - that whole schmear.

Jerry: That whole schmear - what’re you, Henny Youngman?!

I'm the Ugly Baby. Elaine is urged by Facebook to friend me, so she goes to my page thinking, "Let's see what that ugly mug looks like all grown up." When she sees my obituary at the top of the page, she shrugs and clicks off without reading it, correctly assuming I died of COVID-19. She will never think of me again.

I'm the Sleeping Over Is OPTIONAL rule - is COVID the greatest thing ever, or what?

I'm the coffee shop. You can pick your Big Salad up curbside now!

I'm the New York Rangers. Fuckin' MSG almost empty except for a few nutjobs with painted faces.

I'm spend mody og my time on DL now because dating hot twinks is now off the table.

^*most of my time on . . .

(or, how to ruin a good line when the keyboard moves)

I'm Crazy Joe Davola.

If you think COVID is enough to stop me, think again.

I'm Elaine trying to come up with a creative description for a mask for the J. Peterman catalog, Mr. Peterman has rejected four versions so far.

I'm Elaine, only sleeping with guys who are Covid-worthy.

If you thought there was a shortage of sponges before, you should see the shelves now...

I'm Jerry and crew, so starved of movie entertainment that we've started watching all of Melrose Place from beginning to end.

I’m Elaine’s nipple that shows up on the Christmas zoom party.

I'm Puddy, taking social distancing to the extreme as Elaine comes closer for a kiss: "What? Are you kidding? I'm not kissing you. You've probably got multiple strains of Covid replicating in that petri dish of a mouth of yours this second. Fix me a sandwich. Wear gloves!" Thinks to self before fade-out: "Jerry? I'd kiss Jerry! Jerry's got a clean mouth...."

I'm Elaine busting a move on the sidewalk as a car drives by blasting music. From her jerky movements all other pedestrians erroneously surmise that she's suffering as they scatter, screaming "Covid case!!! Covid case!!!"

I'm Estelle screaming at George over the phone who refuses to purchase a tube of Monistat for her while she's quarantined. "WHY CAN'T YOU DO THIS FOR ME?!! MOIRA CASHMAN SWORE TO ME THAT MONISTAT KILLS COVID, AND NOW MY OWN SON WANTS ME DEAAAAAD!! ALL YOUR LIFE YOU NEVAH LOVED MEEEEE!!"

I’m the Junior Mint that Kramer accidentally dropped into Elaine’s ex’s ventilator hose.

I'm all the guns pointed at the close talker!

I'm the girl that Jerry rejects for being a "double-masker".

Kramer won't wear a mask because he's "got nothing to hide, Jerry. Nothing to hide."

I'm Sue Ellen Mischke and I've decided I'm not going to wear the bra top anymore. It's my right and don't infringe upon my freedom!

Good thread

I'm COVID: I'm real, and I'm SPECTACULAR!

I’m Elaine who can’t get vaxxed because she’s being blackballed by doctors but doesn’t want to take the worm killing remedy because her tapeworm keeps her thin.

I'm alternate side of the street parking rules, suspended during the pandemic because no one is going anywhere.