How to know you hooked up with a classic narcissist

I'm sorry did you say something?

They're too charming. Too nice.

They seem too good to be true, because they are.

I had a couple of hookups with a guy I worked with (different departments) - never asked me any questions about myself, would only talk about himself or the guys he was hooking up with (who of course were all hotter than me), complained about how his friends didn’t treat him well enough and appreciate him

I started avoiding him but to be honest I don’t think he realized it or cared

Fuck off, narcissism troll. No such thing exists.

They overreact to minor things, a la r4

Narcissistic traits are on sliding scale . Not all are classic NPD.

I was LOVE BOMBED. They size you up and see where you are vulnerable . It’s like a hall of mirrors . They tell you everything you want to hear . You are idealized . The sex is fucking amazing .

You know it is too good to be true . The Narc is so pushy and cuts you off from everyone . You are soulmates .

You KNOW it’s bs but you soo want to believe it’s true , and the sex is so amazing …. And maybe it’s true when he badmouths Ex spouse all his family .

Bliss until you come home one day and not there . Ghosted. You feel like you have lost a limb

I know I’m an idiot and it won’t happen again

They go too fast. You're their soulmate right off the bat, they love you immediately, everything you like, they like too, everything you've experienced, they've experienced also. Rushing into a relationship, into moving in together and into marriage- to secure you before you've realised who they really are. If it feels rushed, that's a huge red flag.

Don't criticize him, they don't take it well.

Tell him no about something and see how he reacts. Natcs HATE that.

R3 you’re confusing narcissism with self-obsession.

Easy come, easy go.

They’re just like Regular Narcissists, only they listen to Beethoven.

R6 and R7 are dead on.

It’s like the stuff you read about in books and see in movies or hear in songs - love at first sight, magically madly in love, all that nonsense and it’s perfect and then suddenly he completely turns or he disappears.

And they know exactly who to target.

If you just 'hooked-up' with one, they probably don't remember you. You're just a penis hole.

They create a thread to find out if they are truly a narcissist or not…

They begin to come off as hot and cold or appear fickle at times, because it's all an act. They cannot keep up their mask forever. One begins to see through the cracks after awhile. They do move fast, and as some have shared above, move out of your life just as fast, once they've obtained what they want from you. If they cannot get 'it' they also move on after awhile. And they do snap instantly no matter how gently criticised, or if they're forced to listen to an accounting of your needs or disapppointments in them.

Once you've met one, it's much easier to suss them out.

R10 is a narcissist. Those two things are synonymous.

I married a narcissist and didn't realize he was one until years into the relationship. Some tried to warn me but I was blind to everything. It only became clear when I read and learned about them, mainly online. I'm in so deep now and considering my options. I am happy we have easy access places online to learn about something like this and be able to get ideas from others that have been there.

R17 I’m not (as far as I’m aware!) a narcissist, but I escaped from a relationship with one, so I know the type.

Too many people cannot discern the difference between narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder. They are definitely not the same thing.

Ask Dr. Ramani! She's an expert on the subject. I love her. But I can't say I feel the same way about once pro-Trump host Kyle Kittleson.

This video is quite basic, but she has tons of material on her own channel.

[quote] Too many people cannot discern the difference between narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder. They are definitely not the same thing.

R19, what is the difference?

Does anyone have a good story about a narcissist they were involved with?

R22 - Nope. They all end in tears.

R22, I have, but repeating it would trigger memories of feeling helpless and miserable. I haven’t seen him for thirty years and it isn’t long enough. Evil does exist, but the only way of stopping it is illegal.

R22, my narcissist has generated a lot of good stories for the tabloids!

[quote] [R19], what is the difference?

I was wondering the same thing, so I googled it. According to the link, they both present essentially the same in the course of human interactions and relationships, but have very different underlying causes and motivations.

Thanks, R26, that's very helpful. So Trump is a classic narcissist, rather than a pathetic victim of mental illness in the form of NPD. Glad to know that I can stop feeling sorry for the SOB.

Sam Vaknin is on YouTube . A self proclaimed “former” narcissist who lost everything, went to prison. Now he is a psychologist, professor, and considered a pioneer in the field. Malignant Self Love; Narcissism Revisited is probably his best known work.

Everything I needed to learn about narcissism i learned from Dr. Sam. He is the first to admit he is a “ self aware” narcissist. It was painful to hear him speak because I knew it was true.

He says that when the narcissist reels in his target, the target is invited into the Narcs brain , which is a Hall of Mirrors. The Narc idealizes the target, love bombs him…. Everything about us is perfect per the Narc , as Sam says: He makes you fall in love with yourself

You can't get a word in edgewise.

They go blotto if you make a mild criticism or don't do what they want you to.

They're surrounded by people who blow smoke up their ass for some ulterior motive.

You mention you were sick or in an accident and they continue talking but bring the conversation over to their health.

is bisexual

Dr Ramani knows.

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