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I was thinking about work this morning

I work in a grocery store and yesterday, New Years Eve, while standing there listening to a woman berate me for not having any spiral cut hams in stock, I realized I've been working for years. And I will be working for years. I will most likely work until I'm too old or sick to work. And that thought depressed the hell out of me.

I have some small savings and manged to buy a very small modest house which has a mortgage. I will never be at the point where I can afford to retire because I won't be able to support myself. I don't live a lavish lifestyle, I don't have any vices, I don't travel, I don't go out, but even then I just get by.

Lately, as I hit 50 years old I wonder what the point of this is. Any joy I had in my life disappeared years ago. I just work and come home to an empty house and go to work again the next day. I can't afford to do anything else.

by Anonymousreply 125January 18, 2022 12:02 AM

OP, consider furthering your education, especially in demand fields. It's never too late. Many hugs to you.

by Anonymousreply 1January 1, 2022 8:29 PM

OP, you are having a midlife crisis or perhaps an existential crisis. Seek comfort in friends and loved ones, and find ways to improve yourself and your finances to better prepare you for the future.

by Anonymousreply 2January 1, 2022 8:39 PM

R1 what a shitty answer

by Anonymousreply 3January 1, 2022 8:40 PM

Go on a spree killing OP

Start with the ham bitch

by Anonymousreply 4January 1, 2022 8:42 PM

You are not alone, OP. I am tired of working, but right now I have so much debt that I can't afford to do anything but keep working.

by Anonymousreply 5January 1, 2022 8:42 PM

[quote]I don't have any vices

Well there’s your problem darling!

by Anonymousreply 6January 1, 2022 8:44 PM

OP, you are not alone. I am not too happy about my job. It's ok, the pay is ok. But it's not great. It is very stressful though as we're short and my workload is huge. I too have a mortgage that I will have paid in full in 25 years. I turn 35 this year. I am in the middle of a renovation that will cost me a shit ton of money. I live a very modest life, I try to save as much as I can. I'm just sick of it all. Sick of being overworked for an average paycheck. Sick of saving all my money. I haven't been abroad for years. At least now with Covid I have an excuse not to travel, but the truth is I can't afford it. I have to choose between travel and renovating my home.

by Anonymousreply 7January 1, 2022 8:51 PM

I am blessed

You are too

by Anonymousreply 8January 1, 2022 9:00 PM

[quote]for not having any spiral cut hams in stock...

You should've sent her to the Honey Baked Ham store.

by Anonymousreply 9January 1, 2022 9:16 PM

I suspect that the pandemic and all this craziness accompanying it has something to do with you being so down-in-the dumps.

Something that has helped me more than anything is something of a spiritual nature. Meditation helps me tremendously and helps me get back on the beam again. Also, find a nice church to go to - it'll get you out of the house and you'll be with people of a gentler nature. It's worth a try!!

by Anonymousreply 10January 1, 2022 9:25 PM

R10 is the biggest frau on this board.

by Anonymousreply 11January 1, 2022 9:29 PM

My BIL loves his job. But honestly I don't know if he loves the work or the fact that he gets paid $55 an hour to basically drive around all day watching others work and tell them to work harder. He makes more in a week on overtime than I make working regular hours.

by Anonymousreply 12January 1, 2022 9:33 PM

It doesn't cost anything to get outside and walk. It will make you feel better.

by Anonymousreply 13January 1, 2022 9:33 PM

R13 thanks, but I'm on my feet nine to ten hours a day and when I come home I'm tired. Going out for a leisurely stroll is the last thing I feel like doing.

by Anonymousreply 14January 1, 2022 9:35 PM

R3 is a shifty person.

by Anonymousreply 15January 1, 2022 9:41 PM

Shit. Damn. Motherfucker, OP. If I may offer the only advice I can think of. Could you make an appointment with a financial counselor to see how to maximise the assets you already have? Look around for one first. Good luck.

by Anonymousreply 16January 1, 2022 9:59 PM

Op, R14 do you wear really good shoes and support stockings? They really help when you’re on your feet all day. When you get home and take them off your legs still feel good. Not like slabs of cement!

R10 has some good ideas. Also, maybe look for a different job? Working in a grocery store is tough. Especially at your age.

by Anonymousreply 17January 1, 2022 10:07 PM

I guess it's all perspective, OP. I dream of having a home of my own and to stop renting. And I probably earn less than you.

You just have to find something to live and work for, OP (it's obviously not your brilliant career). For me it would be a house for me and my pets.

by Anonymousreply 18January 1, 2022 10:11 PM

I was thinking about work, too, this morning, after reading about Paris Hilton and her new husband starting their seventh week of their honeymoon. Must be nice!

by Anonymousreply 19January 1, 2022 10:16 PM

You can start by stocking them spiral cut hams!

by Anonymousreply 20January 1, 2022 10:17 PM

OP I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar. But even then I knew I'd find a much better place.

by Anonymousreply 21January 1, 2022 10:18 PM

OP, is there a community college you can attend? It's not too late to upgrade your skills and get a desk (or better yet, work from home) job. I know, it seems late in life -- but you'll probably live longer than you'd think. Do you want to spend that time bettering yourself or "workin' for the man"? If you spend a year or two getting some sort of certification, particularly at a community college where tuition rates are low, it will be worth it.

Or you could even consider taking out a student loan and quitting your job and living on that while you go to school full-time. I have a 54-year-old friend who did exactly that to get an online degree in data science from Northwestern; her condo payment is $1600/month, but she made it work. And now she has a degree in a high demand career field.

I quit a drudge job when I was 30 and went to college full-time back when people thought 30 was too old to be in college. Now 50 is the new 30! Think about it, OP. My heart goes out to you, but only you can change your fate. Your future is in your hands -- take the leap!! Love you!!

by Anonymousreply 22January 1, 2022 10:36 PM

I’m a private dancer. A dancer for $. I’ll do what you want me to do.

by Anonymousreply 23January 1, 2022 10:39 PM

I hadn't thought about support stockings R17, I'll look into that.

Lots of great comments and thoughts here, thanks. I think I'd be ok if I could get back the passion for life I had in my 20s. Even if nothing else in my life changed I think at least I'd feel happier about my life.

by Anonymousreply 24January 1, 2022 10:45 PM

You sound like good people. And that makes me happy. I wish you all the best. I'm about to ditch a well paying job that utterly destroyed the last holiday season for me. I despise and mistrust EVERY SINGLE person I work with and for because they are HUMAN GARBAGE.

I have a friend in the mortgage industry who is giving me a chance and I plan to take it. With this economy I could be laid off in a year.

But OP, you have no idea how much I understand. (I actually posted in another thread that I bought a house and sold the place within 90 days) I decided to "settle" and move somewhere "I could afford".

I decided to say FUCK THIS and start a new career and take a chance.

by Anonymousreply 25January 1, 2022 11:01 PM

I'm sorry OP. Just remember you aren't alone. Many of us live this way.

by Anonymousreply 26January 1, 2022 11:22 PM

Do NOT quit your job to go back to school. Good grief! Going back to school p/t is fine, but don’t pay too much for it.

It sounds like money is your main concern, not that you have money problems, but that you don’t have enough money to pursue the leisure activities you would like to. Can you take in a roommate or get a side gig that you actually enjoy? Do you have any skills/hobbies that you could monetize? I think it would have to be something you like doing. I’ve seen articles about super savers - usually young couples - who go to extremes to spend as little as possible. I’ve noticed that they seem to enjoy the challenge, it almost becomes like a game. Any chance you could see yourself doing that? It might enable you to pay down the mortgage so that eventually you would have more disposable income. Do you get paid vacation? What do you like to do?

by Anonymousreply 27January 1, 2022 11:43 PM

Get a job as an insurance adjuster. No experience necessary. They'll even train you to get your license. Starting pay is $40,000 plus bonuses. And you work from home.

by Anonymousreply 28January 1, 2022 11:53 PM

How can an insurance adjuster work from home?

Don’t they have to inspect any damage?

by Anonymousreply 29January 2, 2022 12:09 AM

[quote] I haven't been abroad for years.

I thought you were gay.

Oh, never mind. I read that as “on” abroad. Sorry.

by Anonymousreply 30January 2, 2022 12:10 AM

[quote]How can an insurance adjuster work from home? Don’t they have to inspect any damage?

It's 2021. We have things called computers that allow us to look at pictures of the damage

by Anonymousreply 31January 2, 2022 12:31 AM

Those who suggest going to school -- although well intentioned -- don't seem to realize that few companies are willing to hire people in their 50s with little actual work experience in the field in which they're applying.

It sucks, and I wish it wasn't so, but it's real.

by Anonymousreply 32January 2, 2022 12:35 AM

OP you own a home and have a mortgage. I can't think of anywhere in the US where the equity in property is not growing by double digits. When you're ready to retire, if you sell your home, pay off your mortgage, and use the new found equity along with your social security as part of your retirement fund, you'll be fine financially. You'll just need to move to a less expensive part of the country.

Happiness is a different matter. That calls for a change in your thinking...

Good luck!

by Anonymousreply 33January 2, 2022 12:46 AM

Any chance you can look for a new job? It's not just media hoopla that a lot of employers are really struggling to find people to hire. At my workplace, I just finished hiring someone to work under me, and I was shocked how few applications we got, for a job (as unbiased as I can be) that has a lot of plusses. If you're interested in looking, consider jobs not just that you're 100% matched for, but, say 80% or even lower. With many employers desperate to hire, they may give you a chance even when you're not fully qualified.

by Anonymousreply 34January 2, 2022 12:47 AM

[quote] We have things called computers that allow us to look at pictures of the damage

And you think insurance adjusters just look at pictures the party sends in? They don’t check, say, vehicles for unseen frame damage that’s claimed? Or what caused the pipe that burst under the floor? They just take the client’s word for it?

Yeah, ok.

by Anonymousreply 35January 2, 2022 12:48 AM

[quote] At my workplace, I just finished hiring someone to work under me,

That’s called a prostitute!

by Anonymousreply 36January 2, 2022 12:51 AM

Consider OnlyFans.

by Anonymousreply 37January 2, 2022 12:51 AM

Welcome to the club of all of us working to pay bills. The good thing is it goes so fast, enjoy the rest of your "youth" while you have it.

by Anonymousreply 38January 2, 2022 12:56 AM

[quote]And you think insurance adjusters just look at pictures the party sends in? They don’t check, say, vehicles for unseen frame damage that’s claimed? Or what caused the pipe that burst under the floor? They just take the client’s word for it? Yeah, ok.

WE HAVE COMPUTERS, we use estimates from repair shops. There are things called VIN numbers. You seem mentally retarded. If adjusters didn't avail themselves with the technology available they would still be working on claims from 1998.

Like I said, OP if you want to start out earning $40,000 and work from home, become an insurance adjuster like tens of thousands of other people in America. You can easily earn $50,000 a year with only 2 weeks training.

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by Anonymousreply 39January 2, 2022 1:02 AM
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by Anonymousreply 40January 2, 2022 1:22 AM

Do drag, gurrrl! Yasssssss kweeeeen!

by Anonymousreply 41January 2, 2022 1:35 AM

if you're not sure about heading back to school as others have suggested, there's many 'free' enrichment courses offered by various universities to take online. Which you can do to see if it's something you might be able to handle.

truth of the matter, you better prepare for the long haul in that situation because to make enough part time, many of those kinds of jobs are at the graduate level. though don't get me wrong, there are also many high paying jobs you can get with just picking up a couple certificate or a technical degree, too.

nursing and allied health jobs are in demand at all levels - it's better if you're a RN and have at least a bachelor's, where travel nursing has its perks - if you want to work less months out of the year but full time shifts. cosmetic / health spa nursing is another route that's often not discussed but it's an option to work less hours for higher pay but it requires upselling and getting into it can be difficult because it's not an official, 'structured, career path. . so getting experience and training is something you have to seek out yourself than finding schools readily available.

There's a couple sites you can explore where people sell their skills -- a lot of creative and tech, but many other service options too - where potential hires don't care if you have formal education and happy with self taught. Or again, might gigs that require time and personal accountability/responsibility, such as some security jobs or house/pet sitting/dog walking, etc. Some of that you can get experience by volunteering in your community while you work and if there's a local demand or you find enough steady remote (online) work, then maybe you can quit your day job.

but also the realities when your income goes up, often so does your quality of life and in turn, often your expenses unless you're just completely frugal.

There's a wide variety of side hustles that people do to supplement their income.. it's not usually going to make you rich but if you've got the spare time, it might just give you some extra income.

crafts are a popular option as it doubles as a hobby for most people. So, it's something that even if it doesn't make money or money at first, it provides entertainment or personal fulfillment. cruising through sites like etsy can show you how many no/low talent things make money with the records there of how well they sell. I know a girl over there that all she does is make fabric twine - stripping down old clothing to bind together in thin strips to use as rope or yarn. It's something she can do on the bus or while watching tv, it's a mindless repetitive task that doesn't create any more stress or take that much effort for her to do. It's just a little pocket change to keep her afloat.

I do a lot of side hustles myself. I do what can when I can. some only every few years when the opportunities present themselves. --

I've helped cleared neighbors of trees and branches and turn around to sell it as firewood or craftwood.

i garden for myself and a volunteer gig but I occasionally sell my own, too, the practical biz is selling live plants and seeds.

I live relatively close to a university, used furniture & small appliances is practical beween the end and start of the school terms.

I've gone door to door sometimes just offering to seal people's driveways when I've been hard up because it's a low investment expense on my part that pays for it's self quickly without having to turn tricks.

turning tricks. most of us would roll our eyes at the suggestion... but let's be real, we know it's an option available, too. normie jobs usually have a moment like your ham incident that make us feel like u whores... so, it's not a huge leap to consider it a viable option. not all that are inherently sexual

there's always options to earn extra income with what might be little effort to you.

personal fulfillment is another issue entirely, tho.

by Anonymousreply 42January 2, 2022 1:36 AM


by Anonymousreply 43January 2, 2022 1:38 AM

[quote] WE HAVE COMPUTERS, we use estimates from repair shops. There are things called VIN numbers. You seem mentally retarded.

And you seem like a low class moron who thinks insurance adjusters only deal with vehicles. You’re hopeless.

by Anonymousreply 44January 2, 2022 1:40 AM

OP, maybe lower your expectations about how “passionate” you’re supposed to feel about life just b/c you felt that way in your 20s. The saying about comparison being the thief of joy is true.

by Anonymousreply 45January 2, 2022 1:42 AM

You should marry someone with lots of money. That’s what I did.

by Anonymousreply 46January 2, 2022 1:45 AM

R14 I'm on my feet nine to ten hours a day

That is unfair! I assume you get rest periods to sit down every 90 minutes.

I know some positions where they stand on a large padded mat (which I assume reduces leg pain)

by Anonymousreply 47January 2, 2022 1:50 AM

i've personally been looking at books about side gigs to make money from amazon, not sure if any are legit or actually realistic....

I am going to become a ebay seller soon though...

by Anonymousreply 48January 2, 2022 2:04 AM

Life isn't easy. Everyone worries. The only people who can regularly tap into happiness are people who can stop thinking obsessively about the past and the future. Those always bring worry.

by Anonymousreply 49January 2, 2022 2:07 AM

OP do you happen to work at Kroger?

by Anonymousreply 50January 2, 2022 2:09 AM

It’s a dirty job but somebody’s gotta do it.

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by Anonymousreply 51January 2, 2022 2:13 AM

R35 You're wrong.

My house incurred weather-related damage this week. I filed a claim online Thursday. Friday morning, I got a call from State Farm. Within ten minutes, I was on an app with a State Farm rep, walking around the house with the camera and mic on, as she looked at and recorded the damage. She asked a few times to get closer. By Friday afternoon, I had a preliminary estimate and a list of three local contractors that State Farm works with. If the damages exceed the estimate, I don't care. I pay my deductible and let the contractor and State Far duke it out.

Ditto damage to my car last fall.

by Anonymousreply 52January 2, 2022 2:14 AM

[quote]And you seem like a low class moron who thinks insurance adjusters only deal with vehicles. You’re hopeless

Hey shit for brains, the reason I spoke about auto claims is because your stupid ass mentioned vehicle damage in R35. I work for an insurance company and make a shit load of money doing it. All that's needed to be a auto adjuster is a 2 week training course.

I guess your dumbass thinks medical adjusters go out and visit claimants to "inspect the injuries". It's 2022 and your dumb ass can't even imagine technology past 1982.

You truly are PROUD of your ignorance and insist on wearing that ignorance like a badge of honor. Bravo!

by Anonymousreply 53January 2, 2022 2:21 AM

r48 many of those are self promotion but there are also many free ebooks, forums (reddit subs, too; Entrepreneur & Digital Nomads are occasionally good for advice) and of course, many videos & social media account... which have the added bonus of territorial pissing matches that can help you suss out the truth about getting into reselling.

WholesaleTed is a popular youtube account for it.. though she mostly discusses print on demand

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by Anonymousreply 54January 2, 2022 2:21 AM

We all expect too much. Especially in the US. Especially in the past 20-30 years. We are inundated with images of incredibly rich people and expensive things and extravagant lifestyles which in reality only a small percent of people can afford. We need to remember most people live paycheck to paycheck in mediocre housing in miserable jobs with little hope for improvement, We need to stop believing the lie that we can or should have the fabulous lives we see all around us. Everyone is miserable because of that - especially in the US. Food and shelter are luxuries for many. Be grateful if you have them.

by Anonymousreply 55January 2, 2022 2:22 AM

OP, my instinct was to say that other people have it a lot worse. They are living under a bridge. They are somewhere sick and never got a chance. Or they are living in extreme poverty with no way out.

But the truth is you’re doing everything right and did not get the American dream as advertised. I feel like the notion that “you should be happy for what you do have” is both true but flawed and lets off the hook a larger system of inequality that is out of control.

The corporate class has sucked up all the fringe benefits of the middle class and made sure there is no way out of a working class existence.

The poorest Americans, even those that work, are forced to do the most terrible things to survive. The saddest part is that it’s a rat wheel for that sector. Once they get a little momentum, all it takes is one person to knock them back down to the bottom. And it just keeps going over and over.

So you’re not alone and even though people are worse off, it’s all a part of the same system. It’s become grotesque.

by Anonymousreply 56January 2, 2022 2:32 AM

OP, do you like cats? A couple kitties from a local shelter could change your life.

by Anonymousreply 57January 2, 2022 2:33 AM

I hope your luck changes, OP! In the meantime, focus on the little things that bring you joy to help you get through the day.

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by Anonymousreply 58January 2, 2022 2:45 AM

R55 Yep. I get sad and depressed when I turn on HGTV and see absolutely endless parades of people who are dissatisfied and have an entire kitchen torn out and thrown away because it is 6-8 years old and they're appalled by it, and everyone celebrates the renovation. I just imagine huge broken mountains of granite and quartz and marble in landfills along with cabinets, faucets, etc. It never ends. It's never enough.

I also think of an Ojibwe Native American and environmental activist I saw interviewed (Winona LaDuke) who said every time her daughter mentions throwing something away, she says "Where is away?" and makes her daughter describe landfills so she will realize there is no magical evaporation of things that are discarded. They pile up and polute and are wasteful, and the US economy is entirely dependent on this cycle of creation and wasting.

by Anonymousreply 59January 2, 2022 2:51 AM

R46 That’s what I was thinking.

by Anonymousreply 60January 2, 2022 3:00 AM

OP when you’re of retirement age look into a reverse mortgage. It basically allows you to live off the equity in your home in your old age. And toward the end, if you need to go into a nursing home, you won’t have much in assets left so Medicare and Medicaid will pay whatever Social Security doesn’t cover. So don’t sweat that part.

Right now you need to find something to do in your free time that brings you pleasure. The pandemic has fucked with everyone so much that a lot of forms of entertainment and socializing just aren’t an option.

by Anonymousreply 61January 2, 2022 3:01 AM

Become the neighborhood cocksucker for all the frustrated married men

by Anonymousreply 62January 2, 2022 3:27 AM

If you think it's bad now, OP, wait until you do retire, and find yourself heading out of that house maybe two or three times a week just to shop.

The grass is always greener . . .

by Anonymousreply 63January 2, 2022 3:28 AM

[quote]Become the neighborhood cocksucker for all the frustrated married men

OP is 50, not 25. If a straight man was actually ever going to get their cock sucked by a guy, it would be by a hot 20-something.

by Anonymousreply 64January 2, 2022 4:35 AM

[quote] you need to find something to do in your free time that brings you pleasure


(Ten years ago I took up a small project which has bloomed into an overriding Magnificent Obsession)

by Anonymousreply 65January 2, 2022 5:00 AM

If you're too tired to go for walks outdoors, have you considered getting on a bike, or driving somewhere nice and just hanging out outdoors? It's a truism that being outdoors is good for us, but there's also science to back up the mental health benefits.

by Anonymousreply 66January 2, 2022 5:13 AM

r64 the bdsm and fetish scene is the better turn of trade for the older population... much of which can be done from the relative safety of the internet. and for both older males & females, there are also several specialty commercial studios and a few brothels.

by Anonymousreply 67January 2, 2022 5:54 AM

OP: My heart goes out to you . So many of us identify with you, especially posters who are cruel , pretending to be funny .

Take care of yourself . Seek therapy if you feel the need. You sound depressed. Don’t let yourself spiral down.

If I were there with you, I would give you the most amazing back rub …. The friendly kind … no disgusting comments please

Know you are loved

by Anonymousreply 68January 2, 2022 7:06 AM

Hi OP,

Do you enjoy driving? There’s a shortage of truckers, and they can make good money, if you don’t mind being on the road.

by Anonymousreply 69January 2, 2022 7:11 AM

You're in a vulnerable state, OP. Please don't fall for scams or MLMs. If offers sound too good to be true, they mostly are. The idea to train as an insurance inspector sounds great to be honest, if that's your thing. I would, though, try to talk to someone who actually does it, ideally two. It shouldn't be a big deal to say you're interested and you asking your future employer to match you up with an employee of theirs to have a chat. Or:ask reddit. Other than that: you're in a rut where everything seems to stagnate or go downhill. You need perspective and things that make you feel good about yourself because you made progress. Learn a language or find a student who will teach you for cheap to help you learn an instrument maybe. Good luck, OP!

by Anonymousreply 70January 2, 2022 7:33 AM

OP..don't do anything right now. Many of us are depressed and feel lonely and helpless this time of year.

Give yourself until at least the middle of the month to make life changing decisions...you need to think with your head and not your heart.

by Anonymousreply 71January 2, 2022 3:03 PM

Money isn't always the answer to happiness. Yeah it helps but I don't feel any better or worse not having what I used to have. You can have everything you want and still feel empty inside...again as I posted in 71, don't do anything right now..perhaps you can see a counselor for your depression.

by Anonymousreply 72January 2, 2022 3:20 PM

R54 not so! I’m 49 and get lots of younger and older man meat offered.

by Anonymousreply 73January 2, 2022 3:50 PM

R53, someone with a degree in microbiology and/or a pharmacology degree works as an insurance adjuster?

Gee, that’s rather strange.

Unless of course you’re lying about some of those qualifications. Nah, couldn’t be.

by Anonymousreply 74January 2, 2022 6:55 PM

[quote] [R53], someone with a degree in microbiology and/or a pharmacology degree works as an insurance adjuster?

Yes, you fucking stupid cunt, I do work for an insurance company. You have to be one of the dumbest mother fuckers I have ever come across. You make the Q anon people seem like geniuses.

Most prescriptions are paid for by INSURANCE COMPANIES. I'm sure your stupid fucking ass will refuse to believe that.

Insurance companies need pharmacists to develop programs for determining coverage, the formulary, prior authorizations etc. I make a fortune doing it too. So while you are sitting in your mom's basement I'll be earning more in one year than you will earn in 4 years.

So once again, OP, you can become an insurance adjuster after taking a two week course. The jobs usually pay $40,000 and most adjusters work from home. Everything I've said is correct.

by Anonymousreply 75January 2, 2022 7:11 PM

This is the part of the movie where the kindly clerk becomes a rage killer...

by Anonymousreply 76January 2, 2022 7:47 PM

I'm 43 and I've been dwelling on my future and how long I will have to work, too.

I studied English and writing and never expected to make much money—and I didn't for the first decade of my working life at a small nonprofit. It offered no retirement benefits for many years and then finally got a 401(k) plan, but it didn't match, and so I wasted a lot of time. I got another job and as years have gone on, I've made a much better living, and my employer contributes 10% of my salary to my 401(k) while I contribute five percent. I'm now at the low end of what finance people recommend for someone my age to have in a 401(k), just about three times my salary. I also spend only 2/3 of my post-tax income and put the rest into savings as I work toward finally buying a condo...

I don't really know how to plan for my future, though, and ultimately, I think the planning is going to end up being futile.

I have had a lot of serious health issues, and I have an immunological disease that tends to be progressive and could render me disabled at some point.

Every man in my dad's family died by age 62, and so he spent his whole adult life saving and planning for my mom to be taken care of after his death. She died four years ago at age 67. We all expected she would be here till her late 80s like both of her parents. And my dad is 73 and going strong, so he has exceeded his expected expiration date by a decade.

Because of my health problems and family health problems, I expect I will die before I am 80 and possibly before I am 70, but I know I can't plan according to that. If I did, I would certainly retire at a relatively young age—but worse than working up until the day you retire would be to run out of money and live another 10 to 15 years, right?

The more I think about it, the more I realize that while being as careful and responsible as possible is important, there is no way to plan for what life has planned for us. No way. I was so sick a decade ago that my family and I all thought I could very well be dead by age 40, and now at 43, I am healthier than I was throughout most of my 30s, albeit with pretty low energy.

So what's a person to do? We do our best and—as my father taught me a long time ago—expect the worst and hope for the best.

by Anonymousreply 77January 2, 2022 8:40 PM

You work in a grocery store but own your own property and don't rent. You're miles ahead of a lot of people.

by Anonymousreply 78January 3, 2022 12:04 AM

R75 is a insurance adjuster the same as a claims adjuster for a insurance company?....where i live, i believe it's prudential insurance that is ALWAYS posting a position for claims adjuster. Seems like they have a very very hard time keeping anyone in this position? not sure why?..

how would one find out about insurance adjuster positions and classes? just got to various insurance company websites and look under their career section?


by Anonymousreply 79January 3, 2022 1:44 AM

OP, there's definitely a market for working class whores. (Assuming you're a hung rough daddy type.)

Not only could it help with money, it might just give you a new pep in your step!

by Anonymousreply 80January 3, 2022 2:02 AM

Some jobs just don't do much for your soul.

As a claims adjuster, you'll be going out and screwing over some poor folk who've suffered a misfortune just so Prudential can make some more money. Because that's your job.

Is it worth it?

by Anonymousreply 81January 3, 2022 3:05 AM

R81... true, that's why i could never be a pharmaceutical rep!!

by Anonymousreply 82January 3, 2022 3:28 AM

[quote] is a insurance adjuster the same as a claims adjuster for a insurance company?....where i live, i believe

First you have to learn capitalization and proper articles.

by Anonymousreply 83January 3, 2022 12:17 PM

Yes R79, a claims adjuster is an insurance adjuster. But you probably will need a medical background to work for a health insurance company. But Liberty Mutual, State Farm, American Family Insurance, Progressive and all insurance companies are hiring auto adjusters and property claims adjusters. Auto insurance is the easiest to understand and to get hired for. Many of the big companies offer training. They will give an adjuster course. Some places will want people to be licensed before they are hired. But I've gotten so many ads from LinkedIn and other sites looking for adjusters. Progressive and Nationwide are very good to work for.

There are some adjusters that have to go out to a site (home claims) or to a body shop (for auto). But most adjusters are called desk adjusters. Taking pictures of damage is a very minor part of a claim. Anyone can take pictures. Roofers, contractors, and auto repair shops take 99% of the pictures for all claims. The most important part of a claim is making sure the person has the appropriate coverage for their claim, making sure everything is done in the correct time frame allowed by law, injuries, rental cars, repairs, cash settlements, etc. .

I have all the adjuster licenses because you have to be licensed to discuss claims with people. Everything I say to them is legally binding. I took my property & casualty (home & auto) courses through Adjuster Pro. A lot of insurance companies will hire people as customer service reps and then promote them from within. They'll either send to a adjuster course or pay for them to take an online course. I'll look for some of entry level job listings. Tell me what part of the country (or what state you are in).

by Anonymousreply 84January 3, 2022 4:01 PM

Here's a job with Progressive. The listing says College Degree needed, but read further, you don't need one. They want you to have worked somewhere, anywhere for 5 years.


- Bachelor's degree or higher

- Instead of the above, a minimum of five years of relevant work experience

- Instead of the above, a combined total of five years of work experience and/or college education

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by Anonymousreply 85January 3, 2022 4:19 PM

I think you should put your resume on LinkedIn and start checking all the job boards in the evening. Look for things that are entry level or places that will train you. Some companies train people to be testers, scrum masters, or other IT jobs. Lots of companies just need butts in seats right now. Take advantage of today's job market. Look at insurance carriers and healthcare. They need tons of employees right now.

You can also do market research for extra money, you just have to have a computer with a camera. Lots of cities have market research jobs that you can just do in person for a couple of hours and take home a check home for around $150 that day.

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by Anonymousreply 86January 3, 2022 10:53 PM

Be grateful for what you have. 90% of people dont love their jobs !!!!

by Anonymousreply 87January 4, 2022 1:25 AM

Here's a job for a Personal Injury Protection Specialist trainee. It's a medical adjuster and they train people. The only requirements are a high school diploma and one year of any kind of full time work experience.

This is with Kemper Insurance. They're a big company and own lots of other insurance companies. This opening is in NC. But they have similar listings in other areas. And after training, it's a remote job (work from home). I could not believe how many job openings Progressive Insurance had. These companies have a few hundred openings each.

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by Anonymousreply 88January 4, 2022 2:21 AM

So what does that tell you if they have that many openings and only require a basic high school education?

by Anonymousreply 89January 4, 2022 2:31 AM

R89... i hear you. the progressive insurance company in my area is ALWAYS posting the same claims adjuster position open like every 2 to 3 months, perhaps, they are always hiring others, other claims adjusters, but it does raise a red flag to me as well...

by Anonymousreply 90January 4, 2022 2:46 AM

[quote] Some companies train people to be testers, scrum masters,

What’s a scrum master? What do they do?

by Anonymousreply 91January 4, 2022 11:32 AM

r91, scrum = scrotum + cum

by Anonymousreply 92January 6, 2022 6:37 PM

Like flies to wanton boys are we to the Gods. They kill us for their sport.

Life is famously nasty, brutish and short. It will continually go on being that way OP and there is not a shit thing you can do about it. If it is this bad at 50 it will only get worse. Age does not make life better. There is no hope but you can pretend all you want. Deal with the emotional misery and may physical and mental difficulties not come until they inevitably do late in life. And I hope you die before then. I hope I do.

by Anonymousreply 93January 6, 2022 7:29 PM

Having been in your position working on my feet all day with the public I feel your pain, but unlike you I didn't have my own house so most of my paycheck was going to a creepy ass landlord. I bought my first house at 65 so you are WAY ahead of me.

Someone said once about soul-crushing jobs, "so why are you bringing your soul to work?" It made me realize my choices were to figure out how to go to work and deal with the turkeys--in your case actual turkeys as well as the human kind--and not let them defeat me or I could quit and do something else. I decided I could deal with it because most jobs are bullshit anyway. So I'm not curing cancer, but even the people who are being paid to cure cancer ARE NOT CURING CANCER.

Also, Amy Sedaris once said that when she worked as a waitress, the meaner a customer got the funnier it was to her. That actually worked pretty well for me.

by Anonymousreply 94January 6, 2022 8:16 PM

I was thinkn’ about parkn’ the other night. We was out on the backroad.

by Anonymousreply 95January 6, 2022 11:30 PM


by Anonymousreply 96January 9, 2022 5:29 AM

[quote] I have a 54-year-old friend who did exactly that to get an online degree in data science from Northwestern

I'll bet she's a riot at parties

by Anonymousreply 97January 9, 2022 5:54 AM

[quote]If it is this bad at 50 it will only get worse. Age does not make life better. There is no hope but you can pretend all you want.


by Anonymousreply 98January 9, 2022 5:59 AM

R22 If you can share, what type of data science program did she complete, and what job did she get? I see they offer anything from a 24 week boot camp, to B.S., Masters', etc. This is right up my alley.

by Anonymousreply 99January 9, 2022 7:30 AM

It sounds like you have a few different changes you'd like to make. I can really empathize because I was once had a sh.tty job that was sucking me dry. Even that had been hard to get in the aftermath of the recession. I felt powerless to improve my situation, but discovered the local university had sliding scale career counseling with Master's degree candidates. My counselor helped me learn about the local job market, better paying jobs that were in reach (or could pretty immediately be in my reach with a little skill building), and how to land one. Now that I have some stability, I am focusing more intensely on my personal and mental well-being and financial health. You already have the stuff you need to build the life you want. It sometimes takes getting some support and direction to navigate there.

by Anonymousreply 100January 9, 2022 8:01 AM

Are there different areas of the store that would be less stressful to work in? Can you promote? Is preserving retirement through that same company a factor you are having to consider? Our local grocery chains are pretty big organizations with lots of other areas to apply for within.

by Anonymousreply 101January 9, 2022 8:08 AM

What are some other things you would like to do?

by Anonymousreply 102January 9, 2022 8:10 AM

R99, she got the master's. She already had an MBA, though and she went from work in market research to work in AI.

by Anonymousreply 103January 9, 2022 11:49 AM

R84, I'm not OP but I'm thinking about your advice and I will likely take one of the courses.

What would you say are some of the drawbacks to that job? What other skills and characteristics, aside from those learned in the course, are helpful to do well as an adjuster?

by Anonymousreply 104January 9, 2022 3:39 PM

R103 Thank you!

by Anonymousreply 105January 9, 2022 3:48 PM

per my sister "at your age (she always starts out giving advice with that) you need to find a job/career that no one knows about and no one really wants to do so, so they don't care if your 18 or 80, they'll hire you and pay you alot of money! (like what? cleaning rats out of sewers?!)...

and "at your age, you need to start your own one man business and then you don't have to worry about ageism or anyone hiring you! great idea, like what? "oh, I don't know I'm just saying!"..

thanks for the advice!..

by Anonymousreply 106January 9, 2022 7:57 PM

At your age, R106, you need to learn grammar, spelling, and punctuation so you can get a better job.

by Anonymousreply 107January 10, 2022 7:07 AM

Yeah but at your age you need to learn to not be such a cold prickly, R107. I learned that shit in kindergarten.

by Anonymousreply 108January 10, 2022 7:55 AM

Well, OP and #7, your life sounds like heaven to me. I wish I could trade what I am going through for what you have.

by Anonymousreply 109January 10, 2022 9:31 AM

Jesus fucking Christ R42. Turning tricks? Sealing driveways? Are you for fucking real? If I had a life like yours I’d kill myself.

by Anonymousreply 110January 10, 2022 10:44 AM

Truck driving is extremely dangerous and grueling R69. There’s a reason that those jobs are empty and devoid of applicants, and a reason the supply chain is breaking down. They’re underpaid and no one wants to do them. I expect that within a year, National Guard or military will be conscripted into driving. It will get that bad.

by Anonymousreply 111January 10, 2022 10:53 AM

And they drug test.

by Anonymousreply 112January 10, 2022 11:16 AM

[quote]What would you say are some of the drawbacks to that job? What other skills and characteristics, aside from those learned in the course, are helpful to do well as an adjuster?

The customers are assholes, but at least you don't have to see them. It's a very busy job. Every year the volume of claims go up. You will have to work overtime.

You really don't need that much experience. Prior customer service experience, multitasking and time management are very important skills. You will be handling lots of incoming calls, lots of voicemails and you have to stay on top of things. You have to learn to get people off the phone as quickly as possible. I usually don't take breaks and work through my lunch. It's a stressful job, but it beats having to work face to face with the public

I've heard Adjuster Pro has the best courses. I know someone who took "America's Professor" and she failed the test twice. It's not that unusual for people to fail the test the first time. You can retake it about 2 weeks later.

by Anonymousreply 113January 14, 2022 3:25 AM

OP = I often forget how the unpretty and poor live. Thank you for sharing. You also sound undateable.

by Anonymousreply 114January 14, 2022 3:34 AM

I have insurance w Kemper. I had a long phone convo w one of the two people in that “office.”

This guy and I spoke for over an hour. Maybe his gaydar was keen. He self disclosed about being closeted for years’ and his process of coming out and getting his life back.

It blew me away and made my heart happy.

by Anonymousreply 115January 14, 2022 7:09 AM

I know a VERY well connected gay guy who earns a stipend (they'd die if you called it a salary) for being a representative of a very very high end art gallery, which pays for his international travel and swank hotels, simply for providing tips on who has what art and who is willing to sell it.

It's the cruelty of life that others need to slave six days a week to earn a fraction of what he earns, and for being wined and dined, while swanning round the world's capitals.

I know a few others like that who make vast sums doing strange things that you wouldn't consider jobs.

by Anonymousreply 116January 14, 2022 7:34 AM

Learn to code. It's not stressful at all.

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by Anonymousreply 117January 14, 2022 9:33 AM

I’m versed in the hanky code, does that help?

by Anonymousreply 118January 14, 2022 12:02 PM

R116.. please tell us (me) more about such careers and jobs!.. I'm guessing they are the ultimate "you have to know somebody" ?

by Anonymousreply 119January 14, 2022 1:29 PM

Yes. This person knows a wide swathe of the international set. As always, there's a little bit of family money and property, but they have to – the horror – work, so it's all upbringing and connections. If you have those, you can be absolute duffer but be assured of being offered something cushy on the grapevine. Such typical high-paid non-jobs including being a trustee of obscure 'tasteful' charities. One such gay guy I knew had to front up to cocktail parties and dinners a couple of times a year and charm a few old widows for a few million dollars each year, but otherwise that was it. For a six figure salary. It was all very discreet and lovely and civilised. Aside from that, they just diddled around.

While these are upper class guys, at the same time I know a couple of working class guys who also don't play the 9-5 slave game, and have similar non-jobs that allow them to enjoy life to a degree unknown to most people. They've just got that mentality. It's definitely a particular kind of mentality. They never envisaged themselves for a moment going to an office, or working in a shop, or being tied to a wage. It's quite fascinating. Someone should write a book about such people who never bought into the paradigm.

by Anonymousreply 120January 14, 2022 1:51 PM

Have you ever considered investing in different forms of cryptocurrency? There's risk involved however if you're willing to invest you could earn an income from that. On a more practical level, you should consider spending your free time at the gym or volunteering. You could end up networking involuntarily with someone who's willing to give you a better job.

by Anonymousreply 121January 14, 2022 2:40 PM

You should have shoved a turkey up her twat, told her to keep it in her Dutch oven for eight hours and it will taste just as good as the other white meat bitch!

by Anonymousreply 122January 14, 2022 3:12 PM

OP here again. I've enjoyed reading the comments and even the job postings from the insurance adjuster troll.

This afternoon a woman, probably in her sixties, ran into me with her shopping cart. She chastised me for not being more careful. Honest to God I wanted to give the old bitch a vicious face slapping.

by Anonymousreply 123January 14, 2022 10:42 PM

How are you doing OP?

by Anonymousreply 124January 17, 2022 12:13 PM

R84, Do you have to be good in math to be an insurance adjuster? Do you think someone with ADD could do it?

I am in Texas; I was thinking of taking a Texas-specific course from a Texas adjuster school.

by Anonymousreply 125January 18, 2022 12:02 AM
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