Study shows that autistic men are way less likely to experience sex, kissing, relationships and autistic women, not so much

Who cares? Bad anal hygiene

A woman can be ugly, disabled, retarded, autistic, anything, and still she will have dating power.

Not surprised.

NT= ???

Neurotypical aka politically correct term for non-autistic normal people, R4. .

Autistic people are cold and not affectionate

Incel troll fuck off to MGTOW. We don't care about you pathetic misogynistic losers.

This is a GAY website. We don't care about your heterosexual troubles, and we're not interested in whatever female hating/incel discussions you want to start. Take it to back to 4chan.

How are they defining autism? Previously more males than females were diagnosed with autism. Now that they have really expanded the "spectrum" it's no wonder that you have females who would never have been considered autistic previously because they did not exhibit the severe symptoms males did. So yea this is hardly surprising. You have now captured within your definition females whose behavior is much more "normal."

Its just people judge womens behavior less harshly then they do men. A weird female comes off as quirky a weird male comes off as creepy

Sure, R2, in reality. But this is the Datalounge.

Wait - so almost 30% of neurotypical men have never engaged in any kind of sexual activity? I find it very hard to believe the number would be that high! Is this a sample from a specific age range?

Oh right,now I see it - "adolescents and young adults". Now it makes more sense. You should have mentioned that in your post.

This is because straight guys are more likely to feel like they are entitled to take advantage of autistic women for whatever dumb straight guy, raised to be an asshole reason.

r14 Is correct. However, it is male nature, in general, to be predatory. Straight men just happen to have a physically weaker/more vulnerable target to prey upon.

Maybe you should date a fellow autistic, OP. Good luck and don't let the door hit your ass on the way out.

Autistic men are usually ugly

No, R17, a surprising high number of autistic males are quite beautiful. At least when they are young. That was something noticeable.

Ugly guys get laid every day. Fat guys, too. So do poor guys. If you're a straight guy who can't get laid you're aiming too high or you have the creep factor of John Wayne Gayce in full clown gear.

[quote]Its just people judge womens behavior less harshly then they do men. A weird female comes off as quirky a weird male comes off as creepy

A weird female is not likely in any way shape or form be a predatory rapist. Weird and even normal appearing men, OTOH... There's a reason for it.

I know an "autistic" woman who is anything but. I have a suspicion that socially awkward women from a certain social class are being mass misdiagnosed as autistic.

R21, yes

High-functioning autistic men can be very attractive. Autism has no bearing on how pretty you are. It's just that men are expected to be sexually assertive. Even good-looking men who are very shy, introverted and neurotic have a hard time getting laid. Straight women expect men to approach them, woo them and take them on dates. There's a lot of body language, nonverbal cues and expectations in the hetero world. Socially awkward straight men eventually get frustrated by this and just prefer to watch porn or invest in their hobbies. If they're gay, they have a much easier shot at getting laid but they also still have to put themselves on the market and the shallowness of the gay community can be overwhelming.

And we need to know this fucking crap, why?

R2 is jealous. How saucy you little incel.

I always find it disturbing and concerning the way the gay community disses and hates on those with autism, including gay men. Yes, there are a lot of behavior traits there that a reasonably healthy and stable person might find themselves unconsciously viewing as being off-putting or annoying, but, c'mon, the venom is spewed with the same intensity as if talking about someone who wasn't autistic and was deliberately trying to act like an asshole. Agreed, bad or disrespectful behavior or words is never good, right or safe. But have a bit of compassion, even if inwardly that you don't want anybody to see or know about from you. I think in the end the ones that have it the worst are those gay people who are themselves on the spectrum -- because in addition to having to navigate their gay feelings in this largely straight and non-gay-friendly world, they have to deal with all the baggage and obstacles that everyday life presents them with everyday with their jobs, relationships and feelings -- or, unintentionally perhaps, their lack thereof.

R26, excellent point

Everyone know even retarded women can get all the dick they can handle.

We mated with Neanderthals, for crying out loud.

Autistic people are not good people

Straight men will fuck any type of woman. The difficulty is too many straight men have high expectations. The girls they seek are usually out of their league. Think of Elliott Rodger, incel icon, he was aiming for stuckup pretty rich white blonde girls and yet acted offended they showed no interest. He was goodlooking but nerdy and half-Asian, he would have done better seeking out a more average and middle class girl with similar nerdy interests.

If you aren't able to handle potential rejection like a normal person (as in, without resorting to stalking, harassment, or violence) invest in a sex doll. Dating and relationships are NOT for you. Rejection is a part of life, it's a part of dating and relationships. #RealLifeTalk

And this study like others found that gender dysphoria, non-binary identification, and trans identification are significantly higher among autistic men and women compared to non-autistic men and women.

A lot of people with bipolar, ADHD, social anxiety, narcissistic, schizoid, antisocial and borderline personality get misdiagnosed as autistic as children.

Yes r33!!!

R33, yes!!!

High functioning autistics can’t feel for others . They are very vengeful and unforgiving. Horrible people

The whole autism thing is bogus. Just another CFS or FIBromyagia

Agreed. I don't believe in it. It is like mental illness. Fake.

I saw a documentary about a severely autistic young man, about 20. He was incredibly good-looking (OK, inappropriate crushes thread). He couldn't do much except smile and grunt. They hired another young man as his caretaker, who must have been gay. He started carrying the autistic guy around, who was like a dog in that he was always trying to get up on the caretaker and be carried.

R30 I think it needs to be pointed out that white American women have no issue with half-asian white men and to my knowledge never have. They're usually also good with Asian men too, especially since the rise of J-Pop, K-Pop, and K-Drama. This idea that Asians are unattractive to white women is very untrue.

Not that it actually matters.

R39 Once upon a time I worked in Special Ed. We had two teenage girls, one severely autistic and the other with profound cerebral palsy, who were obviously a couple and had to be separated during class hours to keep them off of each other. Neither was verbal.

E33: Yeah it's way overdiagnosed. There's a big difference between an asshole or a shy introvert and somebody with a spectrum disorder.

Autism is a dreadful disorder

I think it's true that there is likely a romantic or attractive bias against autistic men that doesn't exactly correlate for autistic women; autism can make a man look "weak" or stupid, but a woman similarly afflicted might seem quirky or even adorably helpless to some men.

However, I also think these statistics reflect how all women are hyper-sexualized by men, and many will be sexually manipulated/harrassed or taken advantage of in some way. Women are much more likely to be raped, assaulted or harassed than men, and some of them have been conditioned to accept and/or justify such treatment, perhaps even more so if they are neuro-atypical and already stigmatized and othered.

So I don't think this is a case of "lonely autistic men have it worse than their female peers" and more about "being different is painful in multiple, highly individualized ways."

R40 Elliot Rodger was cute. He just was a spoiled brat with no social skills and a total creep. Half-Asians who are tall and defined looking like Dean Cain, Daniel Henney, Keanu Reeves and Lou Diamond Phillips will have no issue with white American women at all. Elliot was too short, fem and twinky. More of an ideal bottom for gay porn. Also the white girls Elliot was chasing were popular blonde rich Southern California girls. Like Blake Lively and Lauren Conrad types. These girls seek out wealthy, macho and athletic men who join fraternities and become athletes, doctors or CEOs usually white, Black or Middle Eastern. Elliot while rich lacked the dominant personality, attitude and look they would seek. An Asian male like Daniel Dae-Kim, Takeshi Kaneshiro, Godfrey Gao and the late Bruce Lee would have no issue with finding an attractive white woman.

[quote]these statistics reflect how all women are hyper-sexualized by men, and many will be sexually manipulated/harrassed or taken advantage of in some way. Women are much more likely to be raped, assaulted or harassed than men, and some of them have been conditioned to accept and/or justify such treatment, perhaps even more so if they are neuro-atypical and already stigmatized and othered.

I'm going to try dearly to give men, overall, the benefit of the doubt, here, and say this sort of predatory behavior is mostly seen in those men whose personalities fall somewhere within the Venn diagram spheres of the "dark triad:" sociopaths, narcissists, psychopaths, and Machiavellians. I have younger brothers who definitely aren't predatory like this, however, I did unfortunately get preyed upon by a narcissist, rapey, asshole, when I was at my most emotionally and mentally vulnerable (violence in the home environment that I was trying to escape). So, I've seen men like this, but I've also seen men who weren't (my brothers).

[quote] And we need to know this fucking crap, why?

I wondered that myself. Why should anybody give a fuck about how many autistics have held hands, hugged, kissed with an open mouth, etc.? I sure as hell don't give a rat's ass about it.

R46, thanks for clearing up that your brothers aren't rapists. Truly an intelligent and necessary point to make. BTW I'm a guy too. Nowhere did I say that all men are rapists.

[quote]I sure as hell don't give a rat's ass about it.

Newsflash: everyone does not lack empathy or intellectual curiosity like you do.

I think a lot of self-identifying autistic people are really suffering from general anxiety disorder, ADHD, depression and mild forms of bipolar, schizophrenia or borderline. A lot of people also have poor social skills because of their upbringings or severe childhood trauma. Autism is definitely real and is a spectrum from low-functioning to high-functioning. But psychiatrists are not perfect and guilty of biases. Also science and diagnosis evolves very quickly as new research emerges. So many misdiagnoses occurred over the past few decades.

When I was a kid, I was diagnosed as autistic (PDD-NOS) and went to special ed school. Later I was placed into a regular ed public school and the doctors told my mother I really had ADHD (which makes a million times more sense). I did well academically and hold a bachelor's degree from a university. I've met actual autistic people over the years, I went to class with them (wen I was in special ed). I know many people with Aspergers who I've met at college or work and funny enough, I would never have guessed they had it had they not told me. They looked and acted like any other person.

A lot of symptoms of ADHD are similar to autism. Rocking back and forth, pressured speech, easily bored, very disruptive and aggressive as a toddler and small child, delays in speech and motor skills and difficulty reading social cues and responding properly.

[quote] Newsflash: everyone does not lack empathy or intellectual curiosity like you do.

What does "empathy" and "intellectual curiosity" have to do with whether or not autistics french kiss or hold hands? Nobody would give a fuck about it except maybe the poor autistics who pine for someone to kiss and hug and hold hands with. Judging from your response I see that you can be counted among them. I hope one day you will find someone willing to kiss you or give you a hug.

r48 Sweetie, I didn't say anything about my brothers not being rapists (though that's obviously a given) nor was that the primary focus of my statement. I, very clearly, stated that the type of men that you brought up who do things like "hypersexualize all women" tend to be of a certain type; something that you neglected to specify and/or differentiate in your initial post. Your words:

[quote]all women are hyper-sexualized [bold]by men[/bold]

Calm down.

R51 is autistic lonely incel

Interesting stats, those. Though I must question that value of a ‘study’ that appears to be a questionnaire with no controls, and does not use valuable subcategories to divide participants according to factors that could skew the data, nor account for the tendency of teens to lie and inflate and obfuscate. Self-reported data often comes out as bullshit.

Then, as others have pointed out, there’s fault in the overgeneralised diagnoses of ASD itself. The socially-accepted parameters have become to loose and thereby meaningless, a la ‘gender’ these days. Apparently I, a female virgin adult, who had hyperlexia as a child (taught myself to read and speak at age 3), as well as lifelong crushing social naïveté & anxiety due to the specific agony of growing up as a sheltered girl in a patriarchal world, am autistic. We have lost touch with reality.

R50 Sure, Jan. We are really going to believe some washed up trollop on the DL. Good fucking grief.

So you're doubling down on "not all men," R52. Brilliant, "sweetie." So insightful. Do go on, I'm hanging on every word...

[quote]What does "empathy" and "intellectual curiosity" have to do with whether or not autistics french kiss or hold hands?

WTF does that have to do with what I wrote in response to someone posting that they "don't give a rat's ass" about autistic people? Go back and read what I was responding to.

R53 has never been kissed, never been hugged, never held hands, never experienced sex or physical intimacy of any kind. No wonder. Being unattractive and autistic is a big turn off.

I agree r58.

I worked for years with teens and young adults with autism (real autism, not 'my child is on the spectrum because I raised him to be narcissistic and rude'). They have very low sex drives and the vast, vast majority are boys. Real autism is very rare in girls. Frequently Reyes Syndrome is misdiagnosed as autism in girls.

R60 thanks, that’s fantastic insight.

Could you speak a little more on autism in girls & young women? I ask because I’m awaiting a diagnosis (I’m female in my late 20s, so I guess it’s late-in-life) that is pending, and could take years just to assess. I’m wary of the trend these days to pathologise every little human quirk; that said, everyone has always treated me as ‘different’ (in a noticeable, unpleasant way), and my family have always joked that I’m on the spectrum, so if that’s true then it would help to know for sure.

If it helps to know, I’ve always had mild-to-moderate hypersensivity of both emotion and sensation (including subtle stims like leg bouncing), ‘blind spots’ of pragmatism, social avoidance and naïveté, high IQ (early reader/talker/walker, autodidact) and single-focus concentration but low executive function and ability to multitask, high conscientiousness (to an anxiety-producing degree, at times) but low organisation and agreeability, and when stressed (usually by bright lights/loud sound/a crowd of people/a change in plans) a tendency to low passive-aggressive mood. These are only the main divergences that spring to mind, but there are a couple of dozen other little things that stand me out from most women.

Moreover, while entirely polite and compliant on a surface level with social norms out in public, I struggle enormously with private social intimacy (which is extremely isolatIng in the world of women), and tend to have few of any friends and certainly no lovers. Naturally, I was teased and excluded and bullied growing up, by both peers and teachers all through my education. I have always felt most comfortable socialising behind a screen, or losing myself in the stories of books and films and dreams. Unfortunately, my maladaptive coping has really damaged my ability to have a normal adult woman’s life.

Ultimately, I’d just like to know what I’ve been dealing with all my life, so I can take steps to course-correct and maybe enjoy my middle-age.

R61 Autism has become vastly over-diagnosed and trendy. The majority of people with autism have severe intellectual disabilities, are not verbal and engage in repetitive, frequently destructive activities (like pulling their hair out or banging their heads against walls). They can be violent and they are exhausting. In special education environments, they are frequently mixed in with kids with Down Syndrome largely because kids with Down's generally only have moderate intellectual disabilities, usually are easy-going, can learn socially appropriate behavior and so are much easier to manage than autistics.

Autistics also invariably have severe gastrointestinal problems. There is a theory that autism develops in the 14th week of pregnancy simultaneously while the digestive system is developing. The anti-vaxxers who claim their kids were normal until they were vaccinated at age 2 (when autism is generally diagnosed) mostly had never had children before and were unaware the child was not developing normally. The autistic as idiot savant with a high IQ is a myth. Bipolars can have very high IQs. Autistics not so much.

From what you describe, it sounds like a personality disorder, nothing to do with autism. Check with a cognitive-behavioral psychiatrist. Do NOT go to some "therapist" with no qualifications. Neurologists tend to diagnose autism but as your issues appear to be more of a psychiatric nature than neurological, only a physician/psychiatrist can adequately diagnose mental illnesses. Good luck. The fact that you already realize you have issues is the first step to dealing with them. People with severe mental illness always think it's everybody else who is crazy.

Remember that thread about the father who masturbated his disabled son? Someone could start a service for autistic guys.

Men will f anything so they don’t care if a woman is autistic or severely handicapped, women on the other hand are a little bit more picky.

Autistic kids when they are small are not immediately recognizable simply from looking at their faces like a child with Down's would be. However, as autistic kids age, their faces become increasingly bizarre looking.

Thank you R62, that’s comprehensive. I couldn’t agree more that ASD, much like transgenderism, has become a trendy catch-all diluting the painful reality of the condition, to the detriment of so many kids and young people. It’s heartbreaking. Very useful to know that the savant idea is a myth—it’s quite a pervasive one, as I have always thought that to be the case and have never encountered a correction.

You’re quite right about being careful when it comes to slapping a label on symptoms. The ones who have advised me to seek assessment for ASD are probably not watertight when it comes to psychiatric healthcare qualifications—past therapists who have experience but are nonetheless a little sketchy.

My GP also suggested as much, but we haven’t got a good relationship, and she hasn’t been with me since I was young (she took me on in my College years, after my doctor retired and I moved away). She recommended to look into ASD from examining my physical health history from birth, when I had pyloric complications.

If I had to guess and armchair diagnose myself, I’d probably say that I exhibit traits of classic AvPd/agoraphobic (my late paternal grandmother was severely and clinically agoraphobic half her life) with a bit of co/dependency thrown in. If I can avoid it, I don’t pick up the phone, let alone leave my house or go out to talk to people—and I was this way years before COVID! Plus, while I can easily do high-order tasks like write books or give presentations on complex topics or do research, I struggle to do things like drive a car or sew a button.

I had a friend in highschool with cluster B (manic bipolarity and histrionic, I think? She was sectioned a few times for acting out in public and scaring people), and I daresay we were total opposites, so it isn’t that. A friendship between a cluster B & C is a weird one indeed, let me tell you😅

So the search continues. Well, we move, as they say!

R62 Is high-functioning autism really a thing then? I've met people who have Aspergers and while they spoke monotone and had narrow interests, they were pretty smart and lived normal lives with jobs. I think PDD and Aspergers both got removed from the recent DSM and just considered mild or high-functioning autism. I know anxiety, ADHD, Bipolar, Borderline and OCD can resemble autism hence the frequent misdiagnosis.

R67: Yeah there’s a lot of comorbidity. You’re right Asperger’s got removed from the DSM and now falls under the umbrella of ASD even though a lot of people still consider it a separate entity. A lot of Asperger people can go their whole life undiagnosed. Then again a lot of people with a few social issues and can get misdiagnosed as Aspergers.

Many autistic women look Androgynous and act creepy

r56 I honestly don't know what the fuck your problem is, especially considering that I was agreeing with you and merely expounding on what the hell you were saying by bringing up the dark triad. No idea why you decided to cop a funky-ass attitude, but by all means go off for no damn reason.

And I'm taking my damn WW back. -_-