What is a deep, dark secret that you have?

[quote] I have my reasons for not talking.

You’ll be living with da fishes.

How do you know who did it? Did the killer tell you?

Be weary of disclosing things to DL which is swimming with foreign trolls.

Use a burner account aka sock puppet like the trolls do.

And they would report the secret of unsolved murder right away to Putin R3.

I didnt actually SEE 3 guys get murdered,but we were far out at sea and they werent on the boat the next morning. I never breathed a word of it until I found DL. Not to my lovers,family,friends,no one.

How do you know? And what are the reasons you don't talk? (you don't have to give any details that would dox it)

I drain my pasta.

R6 Ive told the story on here before. Condensed version is Miami drug trade,1980s,8 guys go out on a boat,5 come back. Since we were 20 miles from shore I highly doubt they jumped off for a swim. Especially in light of the company I ws in.

I am actually Simply Ming

I was molested.

I'm not always who I say I am on DL.

But I always am who I am.

None that I can think of...well..maybe one...

Creepy if true. And I suppose that you don't talk because you know that they'd kill you or have the contacts to?

R11 it makes sense. But I'm still not sure who I am.

[quote] But I always am who I am.

R11, are you your own special creation?

Oh honey R9, more like Simply Sara.

R13 That was 39 years ago and at that time especially I knew if I spoke about it Id be next. My cousin too. Back then Miami was almost another Bogota .

My deepest darkest secret...... Well, sometimes I mixed up 19th century China patterns that I am putting away. Don't tell!!

It's weird though.. you were on the boat but didn't have direct knowledge and weren't killed, so why were you on the boat? And why do you think they were killed?

There are probably a lot of guys on here for whom this is their deepest darkest secret. I've been a sex addict or sexual compulsive for much of my life. It's like any addiction where I've fallen off of and gotten back on the wagon numerous times with varying lengths of time seeking outside validation or instead looking within.

R20, some of us started very early without memories of molestation... Like the bad seed, but sexually manipulative with playmates at age four.... Very worried/guilt ridden about that as a teen.

"There’s an unsolved murder from 25 years ago in my hometown and I know for a fact who did it. No, bitches, it wasn’t me. I have my reasons for not talking. "

There are no lights in my basement

Mine is that I devoured an entire gallon of Crisco yesterday while making Christmas brownies.

But I couldn't help it... it was so delicious!

I forgot to mention eating the tub of Crisco works wonders for my Christmas ham. No chewing required. Just swallow it whole like a python eating an Indian villager.

R24 Your deep, dark secret is likely that you're a fat fuck too, right?

Last night I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus.

R25 Yeah, I am thinking that you're likely really fat too.. ;)

Nope R28. Methinks you’re a straight woman?!

OP = Truman Capote

Yeah… NAH. I’d rather keep my mouth shut.

That’s the thing about secrets, they’re only secrets if you don’t tell.

OP, if I ever get a juicy secret, I won’t be telling you about it.

I shot a man in Reno.

This has grown tepid with time, but I saw my very ladylike Cousin making out with our Parish priest..

[quote] I shot a man in Reno.

I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy. So there.

[quote] This has grown tepid with time, but I saw my very ladylike Cousin making out with our Parish priest..

Tepid noe but perhaps surprising in that it didn’t involve a boy.

[quote] This has grown tepid with time, but I saw my very ladylike Cousin making out with our Parish priest..

Tepid now but perhaps surprising in that it didn’t involve a boy.

I was an alcoholic but quit drinking 5 months ago. I lost 20 pounds and started working out daily. I have replaced drinking with online shopping and refund scams. I have thousands of dollars worth of new designer stuff. I feel like shit about it, and will stop soon, but it is kind of a rush. I have realized that it is fueling my depression. I also know someone who got drunk and ran over a homeless man a few years ago. His car was almost totaled. He thinks that the guy was killed. He got away with it, and told two close friends. A guy who did body work on the side fixed the car up enough to take to a real mechanic.

Remember Burke, snitches get stitches.

[quote]Be weary of disclosing things to DL which is swimming with foreign trolls.

Foreign trolls are NOTORIOUS for trolling the internet for hints to unsolved mysteries and then contacting local police departments to have the posters of said hints arrested.

I once planned to cause my mother's death.

What were you going to do, r40? Don’t leave us hanging.

I copied my father's credit card details and ordered $3000 worth of food on his dime over the past 6 months. He found out 2 days ago. No Christmas for us.

As a teenager, I stole some family jewelry, blamed the maid and got her fired.

r42, what kind of food did you order? Why did you do it?

I blew the hot funeral director during the wake for my mother.

I like to floss my teeth with my lovers pubic hairs.

[quote]Why did you do it?

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess hunger, R44.

R44, takeaways. KFC, etc. Because I was ill (bedridden) and unemployed for 2 years and my (rather rich) father took me in for this time and decided that I should live on $200 per month. Usually, he only remembered to give me around 100 though. I grew very bitter about this. I'm not proud of what I did but I was tired of being hungry and wanted revenge. It's pathetic anyway because I'm 40.

R43, couldn’t you receive food stamps?

R48 so did your Daddy disown you? What are the ramifications for your dastardly deed? Do tell…

R49 no, I'm not in the USA.

R50, I don't know yet, we're not talking to each other at the moment and I'm hiding in my room with the cat. He said he was ashamed of me.

She was on antidepressants and painkillers and was a heavy drinkers. She always a had a miug on her nightstand filled with Pepsi and I'd planned to spike it with a ton of painkillers.

^^^r40

I'm sorry, r42. I hope things get better for you next year. I assume from your use of "takeaway" and your ordering of KFC that you're in the UK. Maybe Greg will read this and send you a care package of his finest delicacies.

I'm white as the driven snow.

I was abandoned on a lifeboat. My faux furs are real. My mother is black.

I am having an affair with a married man. He is straight, and his wife is lovely, but very traditional. Like the Harriet to his Ozzie. He is nine years older than me with two grown sons, but he is the sexiest man I have ever met. He is in his 60s and hot as fuck. His thick, porn star dick makes me come in less than five minutes every time we fuck. As soon as he enters me I lose my fucking mind. The shape of his dick perfectly fills in my hole. The curve of it, the girth, it is perfection! When we make love, he would start off with slow, deliberate strokes, kissing and licking my body tenderly. I am under his spell, moaning how good he feels inside me. Then his strokes are faster and harder, and then I am begging him to stop because he is so big and it hurts; but he doesn’t; instead, he fucks me even harder. In no time, my body surrenders completely to his pounding, and I yell, “I ‘m coming!” And he does, too. Afterwards, he very slowly takes his dick out of me, inch by incredible inch. I don’t know what I love more, tho. Him fucking me or me sucking him off. I love taking him in my mouth and eagerly suck as if he has oxygen in his dick, and I need it to live! One of my greatest joys is feeling his warm load travel down my throat. I love pleasing him, and him me. We have been seeing each other for over five years. His wife and sons see me as a friend of the family. I feel tremendous guilt, but not enough to walk away. No one knows about this affair: well, now you all know....

Wow, this thread isn't nearly as much fun as I thought it would be

:(

R58 belongs on the ‘Do you have a used up hole’ thread.

ha haven't read it all. some florida cocaine death boat ride.

yes, they have posted this like 3 times.

[quote][R58] belongs on the ‘Do you have a used up hole’ thread.

More like "Dear Penthouse Forum" for gays.

I’m a member of KKK

R58 Any way the wife might know about your, ahem, connection with her husband? The wife always knows....

I just farted.

Nobody still alive knows I had an abortion.

I hate my mother. She reminds one of Beth in 'Ordinary People'. She is totally fake in public, calling everyone 'hon' to their faces then trashing them behind their back. Everything is about appearances. She would always make sure she got all the goodie$ ("Don't kids like to wear worn-out jeans these days?") so she could buy cubic zirconia jewelry and Hummel figurines.

It's gross talking to her on the phone (haven't seen her in years, and she never invites us because she doesn't like her dollhouse dirtied-up) because we both have to act pleasant.

She's had terminal blood cancer for going on 5 years, but she's on expensive magical miracle drugs that keep her feeling and looking perfectly normal. She just turned 84 and shows no sign of slowing down.

When you gingerly ask about her estate plans she snaps at you. The last exchange included, "WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO GIVE EVERYTHING AWAY AND LIVE IN THE POORHOUSE?!". She's always had a bad temper.

I'm in awe of her life force. She has avoided Covid thus far. A while back her leg swelled-up mysteriously, but then shrunk down again. For a day or two it sermed like Death had won and was going to drag her to Hell kicking and screaming. I thought I saw a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel, but alas it wasn't so. Nothing can kill her.

R42, I'm with R55, word for word. Well, not the Greg stuff, but....

If I had any money, I'd wire you some. I have no idea why so many people with means are so fucking weird about *truly* helping the down on their luck.

R42, your Dad sounds like my last boss. Silver lining? She now has brain cancer.👍🤞

R69 thanks!! 😀🤞🤫

Oh, and merry Christmas to you too!

OP how could the police not solve it if they know they were hanging out with the other guys on the boat?

dexter...i think they tell this every christmas.

must be catholic.

Ive explained it all quite a few times R72 . Im not in the mood to go over it again. The police never knew,the guys werent on the books,draw your own conclusions.

OP is a liar. 35 years in OP then 39 years in r13. Sure jan.

ohhh...are you the fl guy that went to juvie and prison too?

r37 where? wouldn't it be easy to search online news to see if the homeless person died? And how would he know it was a homeless person if he didn't stop or read news on it?

R50 If his father really cares. He will penetrate him with anything that's handy. While making his cat watch.

OH BOY! My big secret ish that the real reashon for my relatively reshently acquired shpeash impediment ish that I'm wearing denshures now and they won't stay in plashe! DEEEN....TUUU....GRIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiip!

OP , this is at least the second time you've come here with that story, now apparently drunk over Christmas. It's clearly haunting you. Get some help. I don't know if a therapist is obligated to keep silent but if you're Catholic (or Orthodox) find a good priest and have a long talk about that event under the seal. Even better I'd the priest has a therapy degree of some sort.

I have the darkest secrets in all of DL: I wear plaid with floral prints, I pronounce hors d'œuvres as "ahs d'oovray" and I season my food before even tasting it. I also prefer Janet Jackson over Madonna and my personal bible is 'Class with the Countess' by fake cuntess LuAnn de Lesseps. Oh, and before I forget: I not only drain my pasta, but pour Patak's tikka masala and cheddar cheese on it before serving it on bowls.

[quote]OP: No, bitches, it wasn’t me.

Oh, dear.

[quote] How do you know? And what are the reasons you don't talk?

First, I’m OP, not R8.

I mean, I didn’t see it happen, but I know the person who did (a crazy old lesbian, not the mafia) and I know the circumstances. Her daughter thinks she did it, too.

It wouldn’t do any good to say anything. The police aren’t really interested in investigating and the woman is in jail anyway, and will probably never get out.

I wouldn't brag about being irresponsible, inhumane and a bad citizen, even on a semi-anonymous gay board, OP.

But then most sensible people wouldn't be in your shoes.

Priests are terrible gossips.

I wish I had one, but I don't have anything to share, I don't think. I'm usually a little bit too sharing with info I think. God, I must be boring, haha!

I sometimes try to catfish guys I know for nudes. I know they would never send to me if they knew who I was and I am more turned on when I know who the person is rather than some random porn star or cyber slut.

I used to wake up at the same time every morning because I knew it was around the time my brother took a shower and I was hoping to catch a glimpse of his naked body.

R68 omg, you are acutely honing in on the personality of my own Mother. Except, when I came out they all disowned me. They told the family it’s him or them. They all chose them. Then she has the gull to play victim when I do not show sympathy. She had cancer. I was nonchalant and did not give one damn. I’m a cunt and I know it, but she is 100% more of a cunt. I seriously wish both of my parents would just die. They are fundamental Christians. It’s their way or the Highway, I chose the Highway and I have been loving every minute of it…

I listen to Christmas music all year long.

R77, he lives in a large city. He had just left a bar and was driving on a street on the outskirts of downtown that is known for its large homeless population. The guy walked out into the street right in front of the car at 2am, while he was driving 35-40 miles per hour. The city has a high crime rate…I think that’s why nothing made the news (that and the fact that most people don’t care about the death of a homeless person).

Just posting on Datalounge is a deep dark secret

My partner is a narcissistic cunt. This was confirmed to me today by both his brothers and sister in law asking me how I can deal with him. I feel lost and wish I would just drop dead because I have no idea how to break up and move on alone.

My alcoholism. My friends and family knew I drank too much, but they don’t know how bad it really was.

I think I was molested as a kid due to my sexual promiscuity and compulsion coupled with my inability to have/want a relationship but I have no concrete memory of it. I've been thinking of seeing a hypnotist.

Ed McMahon's laugh was pre-recorded.

I ate all the Frusen Glädjé.

A guy I knew growing up became a hustler, and he was my friend/boyfriend for a while and got me into it a little bit, staring out by watching him and a guy who wanted to be watched while he did it. I met an older guy who was a doctor and lived with him for a couple of years, just for the money/travel, then I got out of it for good.

My secret is that I bought a very expensive French farm chicken to roast for Christmas dinner but I woke up late, felt lazy, stayed in bed, and microwaved store-made Shanghai noodles with sliced hotdogs and drank pink cava.

I shot a man in Reno. I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy.

I'm so mean, I once shot a man for snoring!

R100 you mean you “shot a load”

R100 did you shoot.....him a smile?

The longer I live, the more I hide real feelings from the few friends I have. I’m coasting through old age to death. I try hard to accept all the bad shit that happened. I write about it to get it out of my body but it still haunts me. I accept it.

I try hard to be grateful for good things in my life and there are some .

I’m in weekly therapy and take a boatload of anti anxiety anti depressants .

And I think about killing my self every single solitary day . THATS THE SECRET

I hear you, r103. But I'm averse to therapy, pills, and suicide.

I use Ragu and tell them its from scratch.

I’m addicted to Artichokes. Seriously, I love them. My secret… sometimes I go through a self checkout and say I have two when I really have six. So, yes, I admit I am the artichoke looter.

I’m being absolutely serious. I have remorse, but I feel they are so overpriced. So I am on the fence with my guilt.

Don't care if R58 made that up or not. It was hot as fuck.

but why do DL-ers persist in calling these married men 'straight'? They are not straight if they are choosing to have an affair with another man. There would be almost no other reason for it if he truly were straight.

[quote]I ate all the Frusen Glädjé.

Are you the same DLer who once posted your mom sent you in the grocery store to buy ice cream and you, being quite continental, purchased this brand to bring class to your unappreciative family?

[quote]Use a burner account aka sock puppet like the trolls do.

I would go so far as to say that no one should say anything at all.

Remember that guy who was pretending that he got trashed on meth and then went to his ex's house and threatened him with a gun? There were people in the comments posting the personal addresses of politicians with suggestions of what to do with them that would get the Eff Bee Eye's attention, were they to see it.

Just... I mean, there are a lot of sketchy people on DL, guys. Don't do something that will come back to bite you in the ass.

[quote]I use Ragu and tell them its from scratch.

I once posted how to make canned spaghetti sauce taste homemade (cook up a little garlic and onion in olive oil first, then bloom some Italian seasoning and 1T tomato paste in the oil for a second, add a half can of San Marzano tomatoes, then add the canned sauce and simmer) and a troll who had been stalking me around the board replied, "I'm sorry, but that sounds disgusting. You're poisoning people with that!" I got a pretty good laugh out of that.

I’m filthy rich.

Smoking and lied to my husband

Some of you are really melodramatic. There is a huge difference between posting the names and addresses of people and urging someone to hurt them and posting vague details about stories from your youth.

I’m straight.

Secretly an adult (30y.o) virgin and sex-averse, happy about it, sometimes (and increasingly) feel superior about it though I’ll never say so aloud.

It’s a freedom that almost no-one else outside of monasteries and temples will ever know. Feels exclusive, and enlightened. Almost transcendent.

But I don’t expect anyone in our low-vibe hypersexual porn-addled society to get what I mean, though, so I just never talk about it IRL.

R81 i pronoun hors devuores whore's devours .

R106, I do a similar thing with passionfruit. They’re $2.50 each in the grocery store, and that is on the rare occasion that they’re available. I put 8-10 in a bag and ring them out as plums ($2 a pound). I have no idea why they’re so expensive in the US.

I ´ve told the world for over 60 years that i never had a doll as a child. The neighbourhood knittinglady had to make a little hat and sweater for my hotwaterbottle so that i had someting to play with.

Well,truth is i had a doll BUT not the doll i had specified i wanted,know what i mean?

My sister's first husband molested me when I was young. I have vivid memories, and was too scared to say anything at the time. He is 12 years older than me. I was in 5th grade. Now it would just cause too much chaos - they had 2 children together, both are now in high school. Nothing good would come of me bringing it up at this point.

Can't think of anything at the moment...

The way to keep deep dark secrets is to never ever talk about them, I don't have any but if I did, I wouldn't get in the habit of talking about them, even here.

[quote] Mine is that I devoured an entire gallon of Crisco yesterday while making Christmas brownies.

One evening an old boyfriend and I used up an entire gallon of Crisco but it had nothing to do with Brownies.

[quote]I'm white as the driven snow. —Megan Duchess of Sussex

Yeah? Well I heard you drifted.

I'm pure as the driven slush

Not a deep, dark secret, but a secret nonetheless. Like to hear about it? Here in go:

I was recently in a room with 30-35 people. One individual in this room was the main focal point of all others. I observed what was going on between the main individual and one other person. The main individual put on one hell of a shameless, posturing display for the benefit of the other person. As obvious as it was to me, no one else knew what was happening because I knew the back story. I thought that I was the only person in that entire room who knew what was happening - I'm beside myself as I think and I type this post. Flirtation is flirtation whether sincere or otherwise. Whatever the motive, it was clear that the main individual sought the attention of the other. I didn't think the intended was sharp enough to understand what was taking place until the intended made a lightning flash gesture signifying that he, too, knew the ins and outs of what was being played out before him. I'd venture to say that he'd known all along - as quickly as one might snap his fingers and in an instant he knew from the moment it began. I saw the the corners of his mouth heighten so minimally like Mona Lisa, and it was then that I knew he was just as attuned to the situation as I. Yes, he knew from the moment the main individual walked into the room, and as I looked at him looking at the main individual, he seemed to say "You're beautiful. You're so beautiful." It was almost like they were inside each other's heads. Tesla said that the secret of the Universe is all about energy and vibration. "Good" thoughts, and I say "good" because one person's good does not necessarily equal another's idea of "good" - even so, good thoughts can influence a situation - again with energy. Magical energy. Follow through.

- The Dream weaver

^MARY!

R105 I don't judge you for lying that your sauce is homemade but using Ragu is truly unforgivable.

except for his fist, r123.

In the late 1980s one of my closeted married hook ups told me that he killed his late wife.

She died of alcohol poisoning. He said he had read that the inside of your mouth absorbs alcohol almost as efficiently as your stomach.

He said for several hours after she passed out he would pour vodka on to a rag and stick the rag in her open mouth so as not to get too much liquid in her mouth at one time and cause her to choke/drown (she was on her side)

[quote] I love taking him in my mouth and eagerly suck as if he has oxygen in his dick, and I need it to live!

I'm sure that feels even worse than it sounds.

I know what you mean about artichokes and passionfruit. I'm the same with bubbly. I put 5 bottles of Lanson black label in my bag and ring up 1 Freixenet because really they have a lot of nerve charging 4x the price of cava for the Lanson.

My mother tried to drown me in the bathtub when I was a young child. I still have vivid memories of being underwater and not being able to get above the surface. To this day, I am traumatized by water and still refuse to learn how to swim, since I'd have to put my head under water.

When I was 13, I was molested by...

Bum, bum, bum...

OP's MOTHER!!

That isn't all, though.

OP. I am, [italic]YOUR FATHER!!

R 126: Loved your post. I identify with your extremely intuitive observations .

I have them all the time. They haunt me. At times I wish I didn’t .

I recall in excruciating detail the first time I reached out and touched my ex boyfriends hand . He died 1/21:21. I can’t tell anyone about these thoughts so I compulsively write about them .

R130 chilling. I genuinely hope someone finished that guy off in an even more heinous way. And that you didn’t continue to see him or sleep with him after you learned the truth.

R130 You should have reported him to the police.

R130 here.

I’d actually stop having sex with him just prior to his wife’s death.

I’ve never really been sure whether he was telling the truth or not.

He had come over to my house to convince me to have sex with him and he was very drunk when he made that confession/statement.

I couldn’t figure out if it was the truth or if he was trying to scare me.

Also I knew if he were arrested for it he would lie and say he didn’t do it and I didn’t see how it was possible for them to prove it. He waited until after the funeral to tell me so her body would have to have been exhumed.

I found it interesting her family barred him from attending the funeral.

When I was a teenager I came across a guy slumped on his steering wheel as I was walking home from the train at night during a heavy snowfall. He had been shoveling the car out and it looked like he was having trouble getting out of his sloped driveway. I assumed he was just exhausted, lying there with his head on his arms, on the wheel. So I walked over to the car and made sure I could tell he was breathing, He was, I could see the movement. About a week later I read in the local paper he had been found in the car and he had died of a heart attack. I could have helped him or called the police but being a dumb kid, I didn't know any better.

r139, you were a kid. Forgive yourself.

I used imitation vanilla from Family Dollar in the pumpkin pie.

R109- That was me!!!!!

I have memories of being at a house on the beach with a group of young adults (college-age and over) and some other children my age - around 5 years old. We had a BBQ on the beach and watched the sun go down. I remember playing a board game of some sort with an attractive young woman by candlelight and hearing the other adults speaking and playing music in the adjacent room.

The next day the police came to bring me and the other children back to our parents.

The adults had all vanished. The beach was marked off with yellow tape.

I have no knowledge of what went on or why I was there. It was such a bizarre occurrence that I never brought it up with my parents until many years later - and they appeared to have no recollection of the event at all. Possibly it was a very vivid dream, but if so I never had one like it ever again.

R143, that reminds me of a hot sunny summer afternoon when I was a child, probably 6 years old.

A friend of my parents from the local Catholic rectory, came and picked up my twin brother and I. He was young, probably mid to late 20s, fit, like ex-military (in the '70s). I guess my parents knew him and agreed to let him take us somewhere. Where he took us was to his apartment, I guess. He undressed us and took us to bed with him. It all got a bit Picnic At Hanging Rock from there. We may have just slept or stayed in bed with him for the afternoon or maybe other things happened, I don't know. I know he returned us to our parents and we never saw him again. My brother and I remember it. Years later, we asked our mother if there was such a person and she said, "Oh yes! That was x. He used to come and pick you up and take you places." We never told her what happened but the only place we ever remember going with him was to his apartment for long, nude summer afternoon "naps". And a few years later, I was diagnosed with a hernia, like in the 4th grade.

Come to think of it, we may have been sedated. Because I never understood why we were so pliant and why our memory of it is so hazy.

R143 It does sound dreamlike. That's an interesting one. Were you friends with any of the other kids? Could you ask one of them if they remember what happened? Would you know enough about what police tape even was to dream about it?

I have a memory, very very vivid. I was at my grandparent's house. Maybe 7 years old. My grandma answered the phone. She suddenly grasped very loudly. I can still hear what she said after that. It was my grandfather on the phone, and she said "DAVID! You didn't!" she then said to my mother "He killed people!" Within seconds, me and my sister were scooped up by my mother who ran us to the next door neighbor's house. We sat there, in the neighbor's house, and watched TV for hours.

Finally, my father came and got us. The next morning, my grandfather was back home. I have an inkling of what happened. He was a notorious drinker, and he caused an accident where there were fatalities. I know he was suspended from driving his car for over a year after it happened. Not a single word was ever said about it by my mother or father. And I've never asked them.

When I worked at an office job in the 1990s, there was a birthday party that I missed. I noticed that there was something me cake left over, so I took a piece from the refrigerator. The next day there was a nasty, profane note taped to the front of the refrigerator, calling out whoever took it. It was so foul and obscene that I was amazed the office let the note stay there. I honestly thought it was left over from the party, but apparently it was this young lady's special piece of cake or something. She was livid and I was amazed at how foul-mouthed; that didn't seem like her normal personality. I'm surprised she would let everyone see that side of her personality.

I never told anyone that I had taken it. I went out and bought a gift certificate for a local dessert place, and I put it into her mailbox, along with a note with an apology, and the excuse that I had honestly thought it was a party leftover. I did not put my name or anything that would identify me.

She never said anything more about it or did anything else regarding it, as far as I know. The note on the refrigerator disappeared before I got the gift certificate. Now, 25 years later, I can't even remember her name, only that she was in her 20s and had long blonde hair and worked in another department. I never mentioned it to anyone else.

anyone who doesn't turn in a murderer / hit-and-run driver is trash.

How would you feel if you or a loved one got killed and it was unsolved?

A couple of years ago, I had a very scary situation happen to me. I went to look at an apartment in North Hollywood on Lankershim. In the worst part of North Hollywood. It was to be a roommate situation, and the roommate said to text him when I was out front. I did so, and a Hispanic man spotted me from across the street, ran across and started to harass me. I had no idea why, but he was making violent gestures toward me. I'm 6'5, but am a very non violent person. I was waiting for the roommate to come out to "rescue" me and let me in the apartment complex, but he never did. But a man DID come out. And he stood there watching this guy make violent gestures toward me. The Hispanic guy said to the guy who came out "Look! He's afraid! Don't let him go!" And the second guy stood there watching not reacting. I started to run, and the first guy chased me, until he finally stopped. This was the scariest thing I've ever experienced, and I never talk about it. I feel like I was being set up, but one of the guys decided I was too tall to mix with.

When I got away from the guy who was chasing after me, I tried to call the number of the roommate. He didn't pick up. So I texted and he replied "I was on the phone." Then I went an looked at the video he sent me of the place the day before. The whole thing started to seem very sinister and dark to me. I can't even describe it, but the video suddenly seemed like it had been done by a disturbed person. I don't recall if I'd watched it the day before. I started to think the guy who came out and just watched the situation without helping me was the "roommate" and if I'd have been someone not as imposing as I am, a van would've pulled up, and he'd never be heard from again.

If I were reading this, I'd think it was bullshit, and the person had an overly active imagination. But this really fucking happened. Every word of it.

R143/R145 say you were tranqued—how could it happen without any of you kids noticing? Unless it was gas, or you consumed something spiked?

I play with myself while watching nasty porn

I post on Datalounge.

When I was 12, my brother, who was 3 years older introduced me to sex. This went on until he graduated from high school and went away to college. He married and had two children. He passed away 19 years ago. He and I never spoke of this after it ended. I have never mentioned this to anyone. Certainly not my husband.

I'll never tell

R150, I don't think anything like that happened. This didn't feel like anything illicit was going on. It was a very quiet group of people - I remember most people were whispering (although this was because someone was playing an instrument - either a guitar or a mandolin).

I assume the young woman I remember was a babysitter who decided to join some other friends at the beach house (since there were other small children there she may have assumed it was all right). Some tragedy happened - I'm guessing a drowning or disappearance - that she may have had to stay behind and discuss with the police.

My parents decided not to discuss the details with me (I was about 5) and then by the time I dredged it up as an actual memory they either had forgotten the details or were reluctant to tell me what occurred.

It was a magical evening for me - watching the sunset, the strange music, the candles, the girl's face by their light, the people whispering - which made the ugly morning after so frightening.

Not quite a deep, dark secret, but a weird and melancholy little mystery that I've never solved.

Once, on a meth weekend, almost 15 years ago, I hooked up with a hot guy. As the weekend went on and we got really high, he confessed that he was raped by his stepfather and step brothers when he was a kid so liked to pretend he was a kid while getting fucked. So, while I fucked him, I’d say stuff like “you like that little boy?” And stuff like that.

Suddenly, near the end of the weekend, he opened a file on his computer and showed me that it was packed with pedo porn that he had collected over the years. He swore that he had never had sex with a kid himself as an adult but couldn’t stop being turned on by the thought and video sight of it.

I knew it had gone too far and left right. No idea where the guy is now. I’ve never told anyone about it (I don’t even know what one is supposed to do about that) I did understand the harm that child rape can do to a person for a lifetime.

I put myself through college and law school by prostituting myself. This was in the 70s. It had some high moments and a lot of lows, some very nice, older gentlemen, and some absolutely disgusting freaks. It’s not like the porn movies depict it. It taught me a lesson - stay in shape and don’t let yourself go just because you’re getting older.

R157 *that* was the only lesson that years as a prostitute taught you? Nothing about politics, or socioeconomic abuse, or class warfare, or....

I could be wrong, it I don’t think I was there to discuss politics, economic abuse or class warfare. I wasn’t dating them.

When my horrible father was on his last legs, I fed him fancy Feast just to see if he'd notice. I fried it in butter and he didn't notice. I fed him cat food.

I took a big shit

I was molested by some of the older boys in the neighbourhood over a four-year period. Coerced to suck them, let one fuck me. They'd tie me up in a garage and leave me there for hours. Is that why I overeat, can't form long friendships or a relationship, and hatemyself?

So sorry, R162! Are you seeing a therapist?

No. I'm 64 -- why bother?

At this time last year, we were so deathly ill with Covid that we thought it was curtains—literally crawling on the floor to the toilet; too weak to cook/eat; fucking Kaiser totally refused any treatment after the initial testing/confirmation, & LA County was a horrible nightmare with all facilities overcrowded—each day the statistics grew worse and worse—if you weren’t there you have no idea of how bad it was . . . first time in our lives we completely missed the holidays. After recovering somewhat, we knew it was time to make a change—we sold the house, (The buyer allowed us to stay until full recovery) our agent showed us a beautiful home in a gated community on “the mountain” in Kern County (I know ladies, huge gasp from us too!) & we moved just in time for a “mini blizzard” last March. I’m looking outside my office window at snow-covered mountains all around us, we love the neighbors/the town—we had Christmas Carolers stop by, the town has a magnificent 4th of July fireworks display, wildlife is abundant, food is good . . . it’s “Pleasantville” come to life . . . we also had no idea that there would be life outside after 42 years in LA, but there is, Blanche, there is!

"... lying that your sauce is homemade but using Ragu is truly unforgivable."

Just add some more spices, a can of crushed tomatoes ($1.00) and some olive oil- you'll fool them all.

@R151 - who doesn't?

R164 because you deserve it and you're still alive! Please! You're young and need to take care of yourself.

R159, R158 wasn't referring to conversations. He meant what you absorbed and realized just by living your situation.

R164, that’s your deep dark secret?

R118 now I do not feel so bad. Seriously, what’s up the outrageous costs?

My cousin raped me when I was 6 years old. He was in his early 20s and surprise surprise he was in seminary studying to be a catholic priest. I was an easy target, both my parents immigrated to the states, my fathet when I was 1 and my mother when I was 4. This has affected my life so much, I binge eat I drink too much. The thing is that I can only remember 2 instances of him raping me, but apparently he groomed me for quite a while and suddenly disappeared out of my life.

This happen in my home country in Central America, and I find myself crying often knowing that this motherfucker is free with his own children. We both live in the states now but I wish I could find a way to lock him up. I’m not the only family member he did this too, but he has gotten no punishment.

My mother sometimes says to me why didn’t you tell someone something, fuck you cunt!

I hate both my parents and if given the opportunity I would torture my cousin and then slowly kill him.

My deep, dark secret is… F.u.c.k. O.f.f.

I think R165 posted in the wrong thread.

When I was 12, we visited family in Florida. My cousin was four years older than me. It had been a few years since I'd seen him, as his family had gone to live in Japan for four years for my uncle's work.

I remember first seeing him on that trip. He came in from mowing the lawn, shirtless. Holy motherfucking shit- hottest guy I'd EVER seen. EVER. Hotter than Tom Cruise at the time. Maybe on par with Jan Michael Vincent in his prime. Maybe even Ryan Phillippe. Perfect hairless mesomorph body type. Full lips, beautiful head of wavy dark hair, almond shaped eyes, and sweating profusely when he walked in. Shiny face, but no acne at all. I had to go in the bathroom and jerk off.

My mom was sleeping in his room, so it was he and I sleeping on the floor of the living room. I think we had sleeping bags. I was 12 years old, and not so smart. As far as I was concerned at the time, I would never come out, and certainly never have sex with a man. This was at a time when being gay was, uh, frowned upon.

As I was laying there, I decided I needed to touch his body. NEEDED to. In my head, he would remain asleep. I needed to feel his chest, and his arms. I had no plans to go for the privates, just the upper body. I sat up, and my heart was pounding so hard, I could actually hear the blood rushing. It was like pounding in my ears. I got over to him, he was in the sleeping bag, shirtless. I sat next to him for what seemed like a long time, my hand literally over him. He was snoring.

Then, I chickened out. Went into the bathroom and jerked off. As the years have gone on, when I think of that story I'm gladder and gladder I didn't do it. I mean, there was a possibility of him not waking up (however unlikely,) or of him being ok with it, but the most likely outcome would've been his freaking out on me. Whew. My raging hormones and basic lack of understanding of the world in which I lived had convinced me he'd just stay asleep.

(BTW We're not first cousins. He's my grandmother's sister's kid whatever that is) He's still around today. One year, maybe in his late 20s/early 30s, he simply became not hot. He didn't gain weight, but his face just.. changed. He lips deflated. He now has lips like Frank Burns from MASH. He recently posted an old picture, he'd done some modeling when he was like 14 in Japan. Someone who knew him from then commented "You were so cute." and he replied "The cuteness is long gone." So he's aware.

Some of you have turned this thread into an issue of Straight to Hell.

When I was a kid, I was pretty sure I was gay. My brother and I (who was about 3 years younger than me) shared a bedroom at the time so I wanted to mess around with him to see what it was like to be with a guy. We didn't do anything serious. Just took our clothes off and touched each others' "parts." Though I admittedly would've done more if he was willing. It happened several times over the course of 3 years starting when I was about 13.

Anyway, he came out to my parents before I ever did and deep down I felt like it was my fault he turned out gay. That I somehow messed him up somehow by doing what I did. We don't talk about that but I know he remembers. I regret that it ever happened to this day.

[quote] My sister's first husband molested me when I was young. I have vivid memories, and was too scared to say anything at the time. He is 12 years older than me. I was in 5th grade. Now it would just cause too much chaos - they had 2 children together, both are now in high school. Nothing good would come of me bringing it up at this point.

R120, you shouldn't have to hold that secret for the rest of your life. It's BS that the husband gets away with that. At the very least, please find a support group. There are lots of kids that had that happen w/out justice. I think there's potential for you to feel so much better about this situation and to help others (which will make you feel better as well). Good luck.

R177 PLEASE let that guilt GO. You did stuff that is very, very common among brothers. It's not your "fault" that he's gay anymore than if is that he's right handed. You did what you did when you were too young to know better.

Forgive yourself.

I do believe the story about X amount of guys going out on a boat and only Y amount returned. When you're dealing with drugs and a lot of money, crazy shit happens.

I also believe the story about someone running over and killing a homeless man. Especially if it happened during the days when there weren't cameras mounted everywhere.

Good lord, R172, that's horrendous! I can't imagine the pain you must feel. I wish you'd find a good therapist and a support group and work through it. Wishing you closure and relief!

Jesus R172 that is terrible. I wish only peace for you. If you're not currently talking to someone, please do.

I’ve been doing meth for a decade now but have controlled it to the point that I only do it for one 3-day binge a year. I do it in a different city from where I live. (“Work trip”). I get fucked by numerous guys—usually starting at some random hookup’s place and then ending at a bathhouse. Recover the next week sucks but I can always feign illness.

My husband has no clue.

My deep dark secret is that I pity and despair of men who have been victims of abuse by men or abused women, and yet don’t make the leap of understanding that such abuse happened to them and went unpunished because they live in a patriarchy that hates them too (almost as much as it hates women).

Not one gay man that I have ever men can grasp or accept this reality, and it’s very disheartening. Maybe they’re desperate to believe in their own exceptionalism, or to cling to some shred of ersatz power, idk. It’s sad, and also makes life more difficult for those trying to fight the cause against TPTB. If they’d just wake up and become allies, maybe we’d all have a chance against these fucked-up heteros who want us all traumatised or dead.

A lot of you fap to these posts.

R158 is one of those fat whores who let themselves go and can’t see their cock anymore.

R183, why would you fuck with a drug that is so addictive and potentially deadly? You’re playing with fire.

Because he likes the way it makes him feel, R187.

And he's damaged at some level.

People are not rational.

[Quote] why would you fuck with a drug that is so addictive and potentially deadly?

Um, because it’s so addictive….

[Quote] And he's damaged at some level.

Silly comment because aren’t we all?

One weekend per YEAR of METH sex is neither deadly nor addictive behavior. Mary!

R120 R178 I agree, you were the victim, and continue to be victimized being silenced. But you don't have to be and could/should speak up. Be realistic about the outcome, those around you may be shocked and not support you. Nothing legally may happen to him. Family/friends may not believe you. But, speaking out may be the best thing you can do for yourself.

I fart a lot. I’m an expert at the left cheek sneak

Donald, what are you doing here? R193

Thank you, r184, or beating us up again, for blaming us for contributing to the world's ills. Nothing like blaming a victim. Now what is your organization? Is it the Peoples Judean Front or the Peoples Front of Judea? While you sit there all smugh, please die in a grease fire.

R184 Go fuck yourself. I'm glad you have it all figured out. Idiot.

[quote]This has grown tepid with time, but I saw my very ladylike Cousin making out with our Parish priest..

[quote]Tepid now but perhaps surprising in that it didn’t involve a boy.

Who says it DIDN'T involve a boy? The "very ladylike Cousin" might very well have been a young Lindsey Graham or Clay Aiken.

[quote] My deep dark secret is that I pity and despair of men who have been victims of abuse by men or abused women, and yet don’t make the leap of understanding that such abuse happened to them and went unpunished because they live in a patriarchy that hates them too (almost as much as it hates women).

Yeah, I took Gender Studies 101 in college too.

r197 r198

My secret is I hate all people. Sure I can fake empathy if you’re having a problem but I don’t give a shit

You may be a psychopath, R200

R201, I hate you, although I will pretend to care about your damaged brain…

[Quote] One weekend per YEAR of METH sex is neither deadly nor addictive behavior. Mary!

It’s a psychological dependency. An acquaintance only started to bottom once he tried meth. At this point, he says he can only bottom when he does meth, which is rarely. In fact, he hasn’t bottomed at all during the pandemic so hasn’t used meth.

R195/R196/R198 no-one is heating you up, just asking you to get real and to blame the right people for your trauma. Because what you’re currently doing is punishing/abusing yourselves (see the above replies), or punishing those in weaker social positions to you (see any DL post about the poor/less privileged, the ill, the female etc.), and letting your actual abusers get clean away with it and reoffend. A Silkwood slap to get you righteously angry isn’t tantamount to a man raping you, sorry.

r202 r204

Every once in while... I put some Fresca on a panty shield - picks ya right up!

R206 you could disco all night lets go lets go!

I once cut a silent but ultra-deadly on a stalled, jam packed subway car on a hot and humid August day. I joined everyone else in looking around disgusted and accusatory but I wasn't the guy who finally piped up "Jesus Christ, you need to see a doctor! That smells like something crawled up inside you and DIED!"

Thank you, R208, I woke up the cat laughing

I like heavy metal but hate Nirvana.

R198, if you’re going to quote schmaltz, at least do it right, otherwise your weak barb will never land:

[quote]Memories… light the corners of my mind.

Memories… light the corners of my mall...

(whisper voice) I don't have any panties on.

We don't care.

I’m watching Celebrity Wheel of Fortune with Vanilla Ice, Andy Richter and Caroline Ray as guests.

I WW all my own comments.

I pout and lash out because people don't think my posts are clever (even though they are, I know they are because my mom said so`).

I'm watching 9-1-1 on Fox.

"A homecoming parade turns to disaster when a truck collides with a group of celebrating high school students"

R208, lol! I had one of those too. On a bus in Argentina

You're mixing your threads again, so you owe us a deep dark secret.

You can change all the names to Leewayne and Sherry.

[quote]I put myself through college and law school by prostituting myself. This was in the 70s. It had some high moments and a lot of lows, some very nice, older gentlemen, and some absolutely disgusting freaks. It’s not like the porn movies depict it. It taught me a lesson - stay in shape and don’t let yourself go just because you’re getting older.

R157 This seemed like a non sequitur, almost. The life lesson you learned was to stay in shape? For what? For when you're older, and hire young guys for sex, so they won't be disgusted? You lost me.

My fathers brother (I refuse to think of him as Uncle) molested me several times when I was a child. I never told my parents or brother but, later in life, I opened up to a few friends. When I was a teenager one of my female cousins accused him of molesting her when she was a child and no one believed her. My father was furious so I figured this was something I’d have to keep to myself. He died a miserable death and I was glad. Some things I can forgive but not that.

R222 I am so very sorry. Jesus. I hope you've found peace.

I don’t really like Jim Boob sticking his birdie in my backdoor. I know it’s not as loose as my front door, but it ain’t right to be sticking things up my shit stairway.

R208, you ARE the Silent Assassin!

Why are you all looking at me?

Bump

This one time, at band camp…

R204 who are you to define what is and is not tantamount to an abuse victim’s experience.

R208, you reminded me of a time about 10 years ago when I was dating this really uptight lawyer (think Niles from Frasier). We went into Williams Sonoma to look for Christmas gifts. I let one rip and it smelled TERRIBLE. A little boy was with his mom, and loudly asked “Mommy, why does it smell so bad”? A sales associate then came and sprayed the area with room spray. My boyfriend was absolutely livid, and wouldn’t speak to me for the rest of the day. We left the mall immediately and broke up shortly thereafter.

I saw a guy I used to be friends with a long time ago on Grindr (I didn't have a profile picture up at the time) and while we were friends, I could never help but notice he had a nice bulge in his pants. I always wanted to see what it looked like under his clothes so since he was on Grindr, I figured it was the perfect opportunity. I knew he'd never in a million years send a picture if he knew it was me, so I sent a picture of a cute friend of mine and sure enough he saw.

Well, then I got to thinking "What if he is into me and would be more turned on by me as I really am?" So I stupidly confessed and told him who I really am. He stopped responding to my messages afterwards. He never blocked, though. So I sent an apology message later on and he ignored. I feel bad about it and shouldn't have done it, but I don't want him to hate me. We hadn't spoken in years so it isn't like we were close or anything, but I think "What if he had pleasant memories of me from the past and I ruined them?" I know I messed up and it was a sick, messed up thing that I did but I hope he can forgive me someday assuming he hasn't already.

R231 I meant to say I sent a picture of another cute friend of mine and he liked it and sent the nudes I wanted

Years ago, while taking the escalator to the second floor of the Virgin Megastore in San Francisco, I left a potent fart trail behind me. I exited in time so as not to be seen, and watched as a group of three people glided into the space. A woman in the group was talking and in mid-sentence exclaimed "Yuck!," as they passed through the invisible cloud. Which reminds me of the time I was standing at the end of a bar with a friend, and did the same, perfuming the air with an aroma that even I found overwhelming. My friend displayed a quizzed, frightened look and described the piercing smell as horrid. I played dumb, agreed, and blamed it on the trash bin behind the bar.

She’s my sister…and my daughter!

A family member of mine had two children "out of wedlock" before she met and married her husband. The children were put up for adoption and her three daughters from her marriage - all in their thirties now - don't know any of this.

Can we have no more secrets about farting? It's gross.

I called the heroin hotline on Abbie Hoffman!

Who knew farting in public was such a dark secret

I knew. It’s filthy and disgusting

I vaguely recall my mother telling me a dark family secret while she was visiting me for a weekend. Unfortunately I had been drinking and my memory of the details is foggy, but it was about her mother-in-law (my grandmother, and mother of my father) having worked as a prostitute near a military base in Florida before marrying my grandfather and escaping that life. I wish I had been able to pay closer attention, but don't want to risk bringing it up again. I do recall her telling me that I should never mention it to my father.

Also, my grandfather's (same one mentioned above) brother was murdered by a hitchhiker many years ago. It's another story the family seemed to "squash." He was married, but the secretiveness around it makes me wonder if he was done in by some rough trade.

These are not really my own dark secrets, so perhaps it's out of place in this thread, but whatever.

I hate the godamned hungry root commercial

I caught an administrator falsifying financial records and anonymously reported it to our organization's accounting agency. The perp was forced to resign not long after.

All this stealth farting is called "crop-dusting."

[quote] Also, my grandfather's (same one mentioned above) brother was murdered by a hitchhiker many years ago. It's another story the family seemed to "squash." He was married, but the secretiveness around it makes me wonder if he was done in by some rough trade.

Yup, probably rough trade.

How adorable is R147, you almost made up for the fact this thread is beyond scary.

I want us to share our deepest, darkest secrets.

I know what my best friend's cock looks like and he doesn't even know that I do. He was on Grindr and I had a blank profile, so all I had to do was send a picture of another guy's face and then talk him into sending a picture. I will never tell him, but it was nice.

R246 Friends don't lie

When I’m alone in bed and need to fart, I roll over and fart on my partner’s side.

Oh my god- ENOUGH. Do you fuckers do anything but fart??????

This thread is garbage.

I want secrets!

Q: What is a deep, dark secret that you have?

A: I fart.

I made kool aid with toilet water for a church function

Once I had to sleep in the same bed as my brother. I waited until he was snoring so I was sure he was fast asleep and then I reached my hand over and started to feel his butt.

When I was eleven and in sixth grade, an eighteen year old senior fucked me. He was a friend of my sister and often came to our house to swim in our pool. One day I was changing to go swimming and he came down into the basement to shower and change into his clothes. It happened very fast and did not last long, and I remember every detail. I didn't tell a soul about it until I started therapy in my 40's.

About a year ago I canceled the Sunday paper, when I learned that our free weekly paper included the NYT crossword, which is the only reason I was paying $6 a week for the stupid Sunday only edition!

The guy on the phone told me when my last paper would be delivered, & shortly after I logged into my account to make sure my credit card was off & my account was inactive. It showed I had a credit of a couple bucks or so, so when I received a paper the Sunday after my subscription ended, I figured it was a freebie or burning off my credit.

F-forward to a year later, I’m still getting the Sunday paper, for free. They’re even sending me “we want you back” letters! I’m afraid if I contact them to re-cancel, they’ll charge me $300+ for the papers they’ve been mistakenly sending me since I “canceled.” At this rate I’m just going to keep the status quo—it’s their mistake.

R231 did you at least wait until after you saw the dick to confess?

I'm starting to think that half of all humanity doesn't make it out of childhood without being molested or raped by some man, it's quite depressing really.

oh r256 i feel your pain.

my deep, dark secret is I eat raw cookie dough.

R256 according to statistics you are quite right. It's sadder than hell.

[quote]When I was eleven and in sixth grade, an eighteen year old senior fucked me.

Raped you

This thread is one big ole “Yikes” 😐

When I fart in front of my family, I blame the dog 🐶

R259, only the first time was rape.

The other four times that day were all consensual. Well, he begged me to stop before the last one, but Baby had an itch and he was still getting hard.

Are you a twat, R259, or do you just smell like one?

I'm a judgemental slut shamer, especially if the slut has any kinks.

R259 Yeah, he raped me. I know that now.

R262 is not me.

We love you, R253/R264. Life has all sorts of twists and turns in store for us. Give yourself a break, and shrug it off for your own sake.

R264 Thank God R262 is not you. Sorry for what happened to you and good luck.

I steal jockstraps.

I’m so sorry for your trauma R64.

I am the kid in R235. I never looked for my bio mom because I didn't want to be the surprise from her 19th year that returned and ruined her life. I hoped she has a good life, I know I do.

Happy that you were fortunate, R269, and that you are noble enough to take this stand.

[quote] I steal jockstraps.

Here's hoping that you also sniff them deeply.

I don’t love. I can’t. The only love I’ve ever felt was for my cat. I use the word sometimes so that people who have said it to me first won’t be so obviously left hanging but I think they must know on some level.

I’m old and I’ve gotten more — not sure what it is, self accepting, maybe — and I recognize that whatever the impulse is that the word “love” is supposed to encompass, it was fried out of me as a child. You can’t live in unremitting fear and learn “love,” I think.

I miss my cat every day. I always will.

You go to an animal shelter& you find a Cat who will adore or ignore you (or both...they are CATS). Cats are wonderful "forces of Nature" that do what they want at any particular minute. Find a senior cat or cats (bonded pair). They are endlessly Fascinating to me, make me laugh...a lot! Cats will make you laugh too, plus they are GOOD for you!

R269, I'm a bit hazy on the details (plus this wasn't in the United States) but the lady in my family was able to contact some official agency where both mother and adopted child can register a willingness/desire to meet the other. For her, that meant that she ended up meeting her son because he had also logged his interest in meeting her. However, she hasn't met her daughter because her daughter hasn't independently come forward and, as far as I know, both parties have to come forward themselves. In the latter case, it may easily be that her daughter had never been told she was adopted or was maybe even dead: in any case, the mother's confirmation that she wants to meet doesn't result in the daughter being contacted out of the blue.

My point is that, under such a system, you could see whether your mother has expressed interest in meeting you but if, for whatever reason, she hasn't, they will not actually reach out to her (with all the repercussions that could have). She would only be told that you'd reached out to the agency if she did so herself. I don't know how things are where you are, or what your own desires are, but that's what I've heard about my own relative's situation.

The most important thing is that you do what's right for yourself and preserve what you have.

R235 R269 So are you two related?

Tell me about it, Sister.

I'm fascinated that OP was doing THIS on Christmas.

Eh, I'm an old bore and before that I was a young bore. I can't think of any deep or dark secrets I have.

There are things I've hidden in my life from my family, but it's the same things that other gay men have had to hide (lots of cruising and hookups). What I would have thought of as a dark secret from years ago (peeking at other guys, sniffing a jockstrap here and there) I now would, as a mature adult, see it as a teenager/young adult having healthy curiosity about sex and other men.

I stole a bit in my salad days from places I worked, either a little food or a little money - and got caught once, and the owner fired me but let me repay it.

The one thing that even comes close is that I found out the married man I'd tricked with a few times was actually a friend of my sister's. And so was his wife. Again, hardly "dark" but definitely a deep secret.

Between the cheating (dad), the alcoholism (ditto), the mental health issues (mom) and the drug selling (all of my siblings) I stayed away from all that noise.

I am single. Here's why.

Emotionally I want romance, dating, stability, companionship.

Sexually I want anon encounters, preferably bathhouse type where you never see the person again after you come.

The two are not compatible, and, no, I couldn't fall in love with someone who had the same sexual urges.

So: single am I.

r279 They are compatible, you just haven't figured out how to do it honestly. Read the ethical slut. Talk to some people who are in successful open relationships.

If anything, your desire for anon encounters is easier to manage (honestly) than some open relationship models.

Once, when I was at a matinee theater performance of THE SOUND OF MUSIC, I could not help myself and 💨 farted.

As the curtains rose, Maria was heard to exclaim - "The hills are alive with......what the fuck IS that SMELL??"

Sadly, several people died when a throng of hundreds stampeded for the doors.

R275, metaphorically, and, I suspect, in kindness.

Thank you, R235, though I think things are best left as is. I worked it out as a teen.

I don't really have any secrets you all would find exciting, but thanks for sharing yours.

And that’s why, R281, it is now illegal to yell “fart” in a theater in 39 states.

You are more than welcome, R282. I'm glad that you are happy with things as they are.

It's why I love that Pointer Sisters song, R283.

"And when we kiss....ooooh.....FART!"

I stole a used cassette tape from a thrift store once. I don't know why. I'd never shoplifted before or since and it's not like it was expensive. I still have it as a reminder of the time I broke the rules in college.

Besides that, I have a small collection of sex toys I keep hidden in my office closet that my boyfriend doesn't know about. Our sex life has been lousy for some time and it's the only way I get myself off these days. He's very conservative sexually and has a very small penis. What can I say? I need something bigger and I'm not the type to cheat on him.

Oy R286 ! I feel for you on that one ! I loved my late husband,with all my heart,but 4 inches (though fat) just wasnt cutting it. We had a great sex life regardless,until his MS started dragging him down. The last 2 years of his life we had zero sex. The first thing I did after he passed was hire a hustler with 9 fat inches who plugged me until I screamed for mercy. The heart wants what the heart wants !

I prefer my Fleshjack and porn to being a top with an actual guy.

When I was about13 years old, two men in my neighborhood who ran their own businesses (not knowing each other) both got me in the back of their stores (I willingly went) at different times that year and exposed themselves to me. I was fascinated but scared out of my mind. With the first one, I did nothing but touch and fondle. The second other one I jacked off until he came in my hand. He also wanted to fuck me but I didn't truly understand that and was frightened to do it. Looking back, that second one was Very Handsome, and I wish I could go back in time and just let him do it. He reminded me of Rosanno Brazzi.

At a public beach, I was in the stall of the men's room for genuine reasons, and I saw (through a hole in the door) the husband of a couple who were joining us at the beach taking a piss. The angle gave me a view of his cock. Blond pubes, short but thick. He wasn't there long but the tugging he did got him semi and that excited me. I wanted to tell him I saw him, because I wanted to see it up close. But as a kid, what would have become of that.

R287, I am so sorry for your loss…and also hope your that your thirsty fuckhole was finally satisfied.

R289 what was the premise of getting you in the back of the store or having their dick out? I remember as a kid you didn’t expect things like this as adults, so I’m sure it was shocking. I wish I had been less trusting in the goodness and intellect of adults as a kid. I think I’d be better off today if I has been.

When I was 13 my friends dad would expose himself to me whenever we were alone. He would spread his legs so I could see up the leg of his shorts or bathing suit. When his wife or son would appear, he would close his legs, He did this a dozen or so times to me. I was so turned on by it, I once retreated to their guest bathroom and masturbated in there.

R150 - sorry, I hadn't noticed this earlier.

It may have been something spiked? Even considering it now, I don't know how else he would've gotten two like 6 or 7 year olds to take a nap all afternoon, esp. in the summer. Also how, honestly, even at the time the experience of it was so hazy, like we had nothing to say about it.

We were very attractive children, identical twins. People used to call us The Kennedy Twins. (This would've been in the early '70s.)

I stole from a retail job. I had gone to school in another state and came home for Xmas break. They had been understaffed for a while and when I showed up they sort of abandoned the store and dumped it on me. So I stole a bunch of merch. Later I sold it on eBay.

There were a few times when I was around 16 that I hooked up with older men that gave me "bus fare" or "cab fare" which was...well, too generous to be those things.

I never demanded the money and tried to decline it so I still feel OK about it.

I am an Asian woman trapped in a male Caucasian body. At night when I’m alone I put on a fitted qipao and lip sync this song with a paper fan and parasol. I’m very good.

When I was 16 I was at Disneyland and wanting to impress my friends with how "badass" I was-- as we were leaving the park at closing time, I walked through a gift shop and picked up 4 or 5 items and walked out of the shop and kept going. It was so stupid and I felt like shit the next day. I wanted to mail the stuff back, but I threw it away instead.

R292 - he was just letting farts out in your direction.

Actually a female friend in HS told me her friend’s dad did that to her, so I believe it. She had no reason to make it up, and was embarrassed by it. She just stopped going to her friend’s house.

You’re probably beautiful and incredible, R296. I do all kinds of shit alone and I hope you enjoy letting go and having fun, just like I do.

I got thrown out of college for a year because I got caught being part of a school prank. I became the scapegoat. Even when I went back, I was sort of persona-non grata, so I don’t remember my college years with any fondness.

I have kept completely quiet about it throughout the rest of my life. My transcript just says I was gone for a year. Thankfully, years later, when I meet anyone from college, no one remembers it.

It has been so embarrassingly that I’ve never even told my husband about it.

My friend’s Dad was the sexiest man I’d ever seen—hunky Italian with a gorgeously hairy chest.

Years later, another friend who lived on the same block confessed to me that he had seduced that man and they had an affair that lasted 6 years!

While I was sort of jealous at first, my friend told me the dark side of the affair. He would travel with the man and the man would have drug-fueled sex parties with my friend as the gangbang bottom. The relationship lasted from age 15 to 21. The whole thing messed him up psychologically because he was absolutely in love with the man and it seems that the man never saw him as anymore than a sex toy to be used and shared.

When I was 15-16 I had a job in the morning before going to school. I would clean up a store (sweep, put stock away, clean the bathrooms) all before heading to school around the corner by 8:30. The owner gave me a key and he'd leave $15 on the counter on payday. I could eat or drink whatever I wanted. The owner's brother lived upstairs and he would often come down looking "for something to drink" or to get a pack of cigarettes. He always had the most massive hard-on that seemed to go almost to his knee. I played some sports in high school so I was used to seeing guys' dicks in all sizes but this was so freaking big. He'd come down shirtless or sometimes in those satiny basketball shorts (1970s) but usually in just some jeans. He'd just stand there and pump his dick while talking to me. I knew I was gay, but was too scared to do anything to me. I never felt threatened -- or even flattered. I just didn't know how to react to a grown man coming on to me. My experiences had all been age-appropriate hijinks with other boys.

I didn't think about it for many years (mid-60s now) but one time I was back in town and I ended up driving around and went by the place. I actually consider it a regret that nothing happened. I am aware of the taboos involved but back in the 70s, even as a gay kid, I felt in charge of my own body and sexuality.

TL;DR: I jerk off to how I remember him.

^^too scared to do anything about it^^

15-year old me would have killed to play with another guy. Alas, such is the life of a fatty.

My father was responsible for introducing Rice-A-Roni to the marketplace.

The main objective, he said, was to get Americans to eat California grown rice.

My mother would rather have died than cook something from out of a box, so we never ate it.

I haven't told many people about my dirty secret.

That was the standard parting gift to losers on 70s game shows. Sorry you lost, here’s some Rice-A-Roni.

My neighbor helped invent the “press 1 for …” system at Bell Laboratories.

I hate him

Not just some, R307, but a year’s supply!

I got some ones from older guys sometimes - that were just implied - until I became an adolescent, when I got actual come ons, but nobody ever went so far as some of the things I've read here, it was just verbal, like a neighbor, "Hey you want to go for a ride with me to the store?" I always figured out what was going on but I acted naive, it worked very well. I wasn't interested in being molested, if you aren't, they usually get the hint.

Not such a dark secret, but a certain actors has seen my cock on more than one occasion, I als9 have plenty of proof that he is a cokehead, but I would never tell anyone.

R311, aren't most actors cokeheads? That's not a secret

R311 fuck off if you aren't going to give the name, you attention seeking asshole

Gay Karen R313 read the name of the thread once again....

[...] Deep (dark) SECRET you have

OF COURSE his name and characteristics will remain a SECRET, I like the guy, wouldn't want to cause him any stress or harm.

_______ R312 Yes I've got a feeling that some 70% of them do illegal drugs occasionally, but I only have proof that this one actor is an irresponsible cocaine abuser.

R36 You must be a pedo.

not my secret, but I had a friend (audience: "yeah, a friend") who admitted to me once that he had committed incest with his sister.

they were supposedly both drunk & on drugs.

[quote]-she's dead now, though

Why am I not surprised?

DAP, TAP, fisting, foot-fisting, piss drinking

??? R318

I don’t know what DAP and TAP are.

I’m an Asian trapped in a Caucasian body. Me so hoooorny. Me love you long time.

R320, not that I'm experienced, but judging from the tone of R318's entire post I'd say Double and Triple anal penetration.

I'll make you an offer, since this is DL and I'm annoying (lol). I have a few of these -- some are old wounds that I'd rather not write about, but I'll give three of them a name and you guys tell me which story you want to hear:

1. Electile Dysfunction 2. Celebrity Scandal Hiding In Plain Sight 3. PEDs Make You Gay

All, and start with 2

#2 of course...Thanks Phillywhore

^ #2, please.

#2.

LOL. Kinda expected you guys to go for "Electile Dysfunction" since that's a pretty juicy story, but #2 it is!

Several years ago, I was up one night, horny AF and a little drunk. I got on a porn site (I'll spare the name) and started looking around. I went to the recent uploads and saw a video that had a very simple title (like "hot fuck" or something) and slightly grainy footage. But it was almost twenty minutes long. So I clicked it.

The video looked to be from a webcam in a living room. Young guy, looked to be college-aged. The kid was brown but from what I could tell of his face he didn't just look like a regular Black guy. Maybe mixed or Arab or something. Not super important. Anyway, he turns the camera on and immediately disappears from frame. There's a knock on the door, he goes to answer it, and a tall, handsome white guy walks in. There's some "hey, how's it going" type banter. They go into his kitchen area, the host gets him something to drink, then come back into frame and sit down on the couch.

From there, I could make out the guy's face and I instantly knew who he was. He was/is an actor. I don't know if I'd call him B or C list but I've seen him on some stuff. He has an IMDB page. It's clearly him. They talk and the host is being flirty and asking him what he likes. There's conversation about if he (the actor) likes eating ass (he says he's a germaphobe but he does admit it feels good), the host asks how he's a germaphobe if he sucks dick and eats cum and the actor admits that he's just weird like that. The host asks how many guys he's been with, among some other stuff. Finally they start hooking up. He sucks the hosts (rather large for his height) cock, they fuck on the couch (the actor tops), the host eats his ass, the actor and the host cum.

The host disappears for a second, the actor just sits sprawled out naked on the couch sweaty with cum on his hand, the host comes back with a towel. He wipes up, puts on his clothes, they kiss, and he leaves. Then video ended. I don't know that the actor knew he was being filmed, but they never acknowledged the camera even though throughout most of the video the only light was from the computer screen.

For the next week I went back and checked to see if anybody commented about the guy clearly in the video. The video got just a few hundred views and a few comments -- fewer than ten -- and all of them were like "hot" or "that bottom had a big dick". It seems like the uploader went out of his way to make it semi-anonymous.

I'm not really sure what happened but about a week or so after it was uploaded, the video was taken down and the account was deleted/banned. The actor's Instagram also went from public to private. He had a decent number of followers where he had pictures of his wife and kid, among other things.

Anyway, it's clear he's closeted and somebody found out and they got the video taken down. Never heard a word about it in the media, never have seen the video again on any other tube sight. As for the actor, he's been getting steady work over the last few years. Good for him.

R328 this post is useless without a name.

R328 It's wrong to out people.

No one would believe you anyway., r330.

Okay...let's have numbers 1 and 3 now....

I think I know R301

I was 16, and was so deeply into the closet. I was a virgin and Catholic. I worked in a restaurant and two men walked in. One was very pleasant, but had a motormouth. He just kept talking. He was an older, plump, average looking man. The other man was very quiet. He had a thin build, brown hair and a mustache. (This was around 1979.) I was attracted him, and I inadvertently flirted with him. (I couldn’t admit to myself back then that I flirted with men.) After they purchased their food, the thin man handed me a small piece of paper. I looked at him, and was very puzzled. I ask him “What’s this?” I had not idea what it was. He blushed and said “just take it.” The man hurriedly went on his way. I put the paper in my pocket. A few minutes later, I was about to toss it in the trash. Yet, I looked closely. It read “Do you want to stop by my hotel room after work? I’ll be there by 9:30pm.” I was MORTIFIED! He listed the name of the hotel and room number. It was nearby.

Yet, I was actually tempted and I drove past his motel. I was too afraid to pursue it and drove back home.

About a year later, the neighbor’s daughter, a young woman in her 20s, brought over her boyfriend. They were drinking beer with my dad. I looked over and SAW the boyfriend. It was the man that propositioned me in the restaurant. I was speechless and he was blushing. He avoided eye contact. The man lived with his girlfriend for a while (next door) and they parted. I avoided him, he kept his distance, as well. I didn’t say a word to anyone. Later, after I came out of the closet, I told my sister. She laughed it off, as did I. It was hilarious after the fact.

My father died when I was 7 and my only sibling was an older sister. I had no idea about sex, puberty, any of it. I was also raised Catholic so while I was preached to about it, I was sure erections were wrong. Here's the part you might find hard to believe. I didn't know how to jack off. No one ever talked about it or I was so hung up, I pushed friends away. So while I was familiar with erections, I didn't know what to do with them.

There were stores, we had several my New England city, that I think were known as "cigar stores." They sold tobacco, magazines, snacks, etc in the front and in the back was the adults only section. That's where the porn was. I finally got the courage one day to go to the adult section in one of the stores. I was already 6'2" so while not an adult, the guy at the register didn't care. I picked up a Playboy but put a gay magazine in the middle of it to hide the cover. I looked at the pictures and got a raging hardon...nothing that unusual. So I buy a magazine, and start walking home. As I was walking down the street, my entire body started to shake and I didn't know what was happening. I had just came for the first time. In my jeans. Walking.

I had just turned 16.

I'm on reasonably good terms with the family members still living that I know and I despise them all. None of them will inherit anything I own, because I know the only reason they make the bare minimum of effort to check on me is to find out whether I've died.

When I lived with my ex I used to play around with a guy in my neighborhood that was 31 years older. I was 29, he was 60. Damn, did he know how to eat ass.

R323 here. I'll tell you about "PEDs Make You Gay". I would tell "Electile Dysfunction" but in hindsight I'm glad you guys didn't pick that one. I would've had to vague up a lot so that people couldn't figure out who I'm talking about.

There's a fairly popular YouTuber who is fairly popular in a very masculine area of YouTube who is in the closet. Not the craziest thing in the world, but I know a guy he's been hooking up with. At first I didn't believe him, but when we last hung out, he played me a video. It was apparently after they'd had sex and the guy was in his bathroom. I could clearly hear his voice, but I didn't see his face. He said the guy is very protective over his image.

The reason for the title of this story is that that YouTuber did a Q&A on IG live that's still available and someone asks him the question all gym bros get asked, "natty or not?" He says back to the person, "PEDs make you gay". According to my friend, he wasn't joking, at least about the gay part.

What's PED?

R339 Performance Enhancing Drugs

R311 that actor is Charlie Sheen.

Hahaha R341, no! I am not attracted to that bastard 😆

It's someone a bit less famous.

If you smell a fart, I likely did it

I eat old peoples excrement.

I profoundly hate and dislike my Mom’s family, on a primal level. I think my mother suspects, but she doesn’t know for sure, and no one else does either.

Wouldn’t be an issue, except me & my parents are long estranged from my Dad’s psycho family, and I don’t have any kind of ‘found family’ or a partner with a nice big decent generous one onto whom I can latch. So I live a pretty lonely existence.