John Mulaney shares first photo of beard baby

Breathtaking.

This was more the beard baby I was expecting from him.

Cute baby.

Buckle up kid. I wish you a happy life.

[quote]The baby has a Vietnamese middle name in honor of his mother’s Vietnamese heritage

His middle name is fine, but "Malcolm" as the first name is questionable since he's going to be either Malcolm Munn or Malcolm Mulaney. Or even Malcolm Mulaney-Munn. Terrible.

Wait, seriously, John Mulaney is “straight” enough to fuck a girl?

I never thought that was possible. I still don’t.

Aw aw the baby is SO cute 🥰

Didn't Mulaney make some comment about everyone hating his baby? It came across as whiny and self pitying considering no one had insulted his kid. I saw a few disparaging remarks about Mulaney but none about the sprog.

Cute baby. Terrible name.

Didn’t waste anytime trotting him out for the world to see.

Are Munn and Mulaney still together? How long before the " we look forward to co parenting together amicably" announcement?

That pic is 2 months old yes?

Didn't Olivia Munn claim to be part Chinese? Now she's suddenly part Vietnamese?!

Can this dizzy no-talent chick ever get her stories straight?

Her mom is Vietnamese but ethnically Chinese.

Was her dad a GI?

He can be proud that his mother was the number 1 beard in Hollywood at the time of his birth!

Why do you all think Mulaney is gay?

Yes r11 - they changed the timeline of when the kid was born to cover the fact that she was fucking him before he entered rehab and while he was still married.

R15 because he even talks about it in his act?

R17 But maybe he is joking, he is a comedian after all.

r10 Munn has already put out some "sources" who are saying that "Olivia’s friends just don’t see these two being a couple in a year’s time.” That wasn't the first time she said something like that, but no one knows if they're together or not.

[quote]Munn has already put out some "sources" who are saying that "Olivia’s friends just don’t see these two being a couple in a year’s time.”

They knew the bearding contract was for only 12 months.

What does he gain from bearding as a stand up comedian?

[quote]Meet Malcolm Hiệp Mulaney. He has his whole life ahead of him. He hasn’t even tried seltzer yet. I’m very in love with him and his whole deal. Happy Holidays.

His whole deal?

This could've been you Aaron!

[quote]Aw aw the baby is SO cute

Why do people do such stupid shit like this? It's not cute

R24 forgot to take your meds again?

And...? Does he want a fucking parade?

Hopefully John doesn't flip out one from the baby constantly crying.

If John can father a 1/4 Asian baby why can't Darren Criss?

The psychological strain of being in the closet gives me some comfort . It galls me immeasurably that these closet cowards can have their cake and eat it too

[quote] What does he gain from bearding as a stand up comedian? Better yet, why would he divorce his longtime wife and then pay an alleged “beard” and even go so far as to have a child with her. When no one really gives a fuck about his sexuality gay or straight. Stars beard because coming out would hurt their images and therefore hurt their career. They don’t pay beards for grins and giggles. Mulaney is not a star. He’s a successful comedian. He has no masculine image to protect.

Why do Dataloungers insist on pushing gay stereotypes.

[quote] What does he gain from bearding as a stand up comedian?

What does he gain from bearding as a stand up comedian? Better yet, why would he divorce his longtime wife and then pay an alleged “beard” and even go so far as to have a child with her. When no one really gives a fuck about his sexuality gay or straight. Stars beard because coming out would hurt their images and therefore hurt their career. They don’t pay beards for grins and giggles. Mulaney is not a star. He’s a successful comedian. He has no masculine image to protect. Why do Dataloungers insist on pushing gay stereotypes.

He's a weird still repressed homosexual Irish-American Catholic type that I thought ceased to exist in the 1980s but probably not. Alcoholism, baby mamas are part of the deal.

Yeah the bearding doesn’t make any sense.

Olivia Munn is a thot who’s been passed around in Hollywood. Maybe she’s bearded before but if you think dumb straight actors aren’t really going after her, you guys are nuts. She’s a big groupie disguised as an actress.

R12, So I wasn't crazy! I thought to myself, isn't she half Chinese! Where is the Vietnamese name coming from!

And why would he have a bearding contract in the middle of rehab and get Olivia pregnant during rehab????

Like your theory makes no sense and it’s the exact opposite of good PR. They’re lying cheaters and they’re being made fun of and look scummy.

It’s not what bearding and PR relationships are used for.

I think you guys stereotype white men even though a lot of you are guys yourself.

He’s an addict and a pig. Calling him gay is trying to make excuses for his fucked up straight male behavior. And it’s all because of his non-threatening looks. He’s not a misunderstood confused white guy, he’s a piece of shit.

What R33 said. I think she got pregnant because she's forty one. He just happened to be patsy of the moment. Well done, John! What a fucking idiot.

R36 Exactly. I’m sure he’s being made fun of in the male circles. He knocked up the groupie everyones had. It’s like playing hot potato and John lost.

Embarrassing.

And Olivia Munn is such a slut and a nobody she doesn’t even have an audience to congratulate her, just tabloids.

Poor Olivia

[quote]What does he gain from bearding as a stand up comedian? Better yet, why would he divorce his longtime wife and then pay an alleged “beard” and even go so far as to have a child with her. When no one really gives a fuck about his sexuality gay or straight. Stars beard because coming out would hurt their images and therefore hurt their career. They don’t pay beards for grins and giggles. Mulaney is not a star. He’s a successful comedian. He has no masculine image to protect. Why do Dataloungers insist on pushing gay stereotypes.

Why are you foaming at the mouth about this.

Everyone is entitled to an opinion here.

Should we call CPS? Can either of these two be trusted with a child, let alone an infant? This will all end in tears!

Are they living in a van down by the river? Can someone hook them up with social services?

He should take a paternity test. Stat!

Asian looking little bastard, isn’t he?

R37, a slut and a nobody? According to whom?

Why would someone rush their newborn's face onto the internet ASAP?

She probably got paid well for beard duty with Aaron Rodgers

Attention whoring, r45. I’ll admit, her skin is glowing in the photo at r44. I never noticed that she was pretty before.

She had a shit ton of plastic surgery

Does Olivia peg him?

R48, I don't think she had a ton of plastic surgery.

She may have had something done but I don't think it's a "ton" of plastic surgery.

Hell, she's Asian. Even at 41 she shouldn't have to worry about that yet.

She did cop to having to go on a special diet or else her face blows up. I'm sure it's like that right now.

This is from 2006.

R50 thinks her lips magically got fuller and her jaw magically shrunk because of her diet. LOL. She is plastic from head to toe

Asian white mix is the cutest.

I know that's considered racist now.

She "may have" had something done. And the Pope may be Catholic!

Munn spent a fortune trying to erase the Asian out of herself but suddenly becomes Asian again, insisting on giving a Vietnamese middle name to her spawn. Will wonders ever cease?

[quote]He hasn’t even tried seltzer yet.

Does this man go for even a moment without thinking about drinking?

all babies are cute. they more they grow, the uglier they get

Early on, the prevailing theory was that Mulaney was caught with guys, his wife dumped him, and he went flying to Olivia Munn: Beard For Hire to preserve his reputation.

Then she ended up pregnant with his kid and we found out he was always getting drunk and going on Tinder to hook up with girls, which seems to blow the theory about him being closeted out of the water. But who knows, maybe he's bi, maybe he's just pulling a James Franco and gaybaiting when he's nothing but straight. I doubt he went to THIS much trouble to stay in the closet, though.

R54 With all the love and attention Asians are getting nowadays, are you surprised?

R54, I don't see the problem.

Fat Asian babies are the cutest!

This baby's a quarter Asian at best.

R57, except James Franco has always denied being gay.

I just read her Wiki entry and she's not stupid, except when it comes to men. She grew up in Japan, was fluent in Japanese and eventually minored in Japanese at the University of Oklahoma. The video below is from 2018.

His ex wife seriously seems like a basket case full of depression and drama. BPD type. He also said he worked while she spent his money. Before they broke up, her Twitter/Instagram posts were so dramatic. She would picture her at the dining room table sitting in a dim room all melancholy and stating, “another night alone!” Now, she is really alone. Self-fulfilling prophecy and she called it!

R60 I’m sorry I just do not see the cuteness???

You don’t want to squeeze those little cheeks, r65? I don’t even like babies, but that one is cute.

R64 All a reflection of him. He’s not sane and he bangs crazy women. He’s no better.

[quote] He can be proud that his mother was the number 1 beard in Hollywood at the time of his birth!

[quote] They knew the bearding contract was for only 12 months.

[quote[ Why are you foaming at the mouth about this. Everyone is entitled to an opinion here.

Disagreeing with you "opinion" and pointed out your failed logic = foaming at the mouth? Really? We're are entitled to post our opinions and we're all entitled to tell you your opinion is idiotic.

[quote] He can be proud that his mother was the number 1 beard in Hollywood at the time of his birth!

[quote] They knew the bearding contract was for only 12 months.

[quote] Why are you foaming at the mouth about this. Everyone is entitled to an opinion here.

Disagreeing with you "opinion" and pointed out your failed logic = foaming at the mouth? Really? We're are entitled to post our opinions and we're all entitled to tell you your opinion is idiotic.

Bad name. Even worse would’ve been Miles. They should’ve named him Evan Mulaney.

[quote]This baby's a quarter Asian at best.

My partner's grandmother was Japanese and great great grandfather was Seminole and African, and even at that distant ancestry, he has Japanese features with Native and African hair. But he's as white as a ghost (thank his mother's German side for that) and so people just think he has "weird eyes" or "strange hair."

[quote]He also said he worked while she spent his money.

He did not. You did, or that fake insider did (if that wasn't you), but he didn't. In fact, he was giving interviews where he was saying more than once that he was in DC at the moment with his wife who was working at the Smithsonian.

[quote]Before they broke up, her Twitter/Instagram posts were so dramatic. She would picture her at the dining room table sitting in a dim room all melancholy and stating, “another night alone!” Now, she is really alone. Self-fulfilling prophecy and she called it!

She did all that after they broke up. You are a fucking moron.

Mark my words, this will all end in double murder and suicide.

R73 wow, your post gave me definite chills, because I believe you.

Are you Psychic?

Baby of shame….

Baby stroller walk of shame coming up.

Gay men routinely knock up women to show how straight they really are. Eyeroll.

Perhaps Mulaney will continue the charade by going off to war?

He might become a monk, or perhaps join the Foreign Legion.

Or if he knows what's good for him, perhaps a Foreign Faction.

Mulaney is one of those utterly useless, effete-but-not-gay, developmentally arrested, Catholic mama’s boys.

He’s very lucky he’s mildly amusing.

So the fake insider is back? Why bother when it was so obvious you were just making shit up the first time around?

Anyway, poor baby with asshole parents who still don't have the sense to just keep him out of the public eye. They're down to posting the barest minimum milquetoast to preserve their bullshit, and they both have to turn off comments because they know what they'll get if they don't. And still they keep trying. When was the last time we saw such a PR disaster from a couple of desperate B/C-listers?

[quote]Mark my words, this will all end in double murder and suicide.

The person who greenlights all those Lifetime movies has entered the thread.

[quote]He’s an addict and a pig. Calling him gay is trying to make excuses for his fucked up straight male behavior.

The gay rumors have been around for years. No one has recently started calling him gay just to make excuses for his behavior. What they're doing is trying to fit the old gay rumors into the current situation. Obviously, and I think you'd agree, it doesn't work. Gay men don't knock up their beards while they're in rehab. They have beards because they're trying to control the public narrative of their lives, and no one wants this narrative, "I was cheating on my wife and knocked up the famous slut side piece while I was in rehab, after talking for years about not wanting kids and how I was sober now."

Who knew John Mulaney and Hunter Biden had so much in common?

He gay as hell. Someone said he was basically Michael from Boys in the Band if he stayed in the closet and it was the perfect description. Both even went to Georgetown.

My opinion? Altarboy who got fucked by a priest and liked it.

R84 Exactly. There’s nothing gay about him. There’s nothing more straight than a drug addicted guy knocking up a mistress in rehab.

He emptied his sac in that woman, OP. Get over it.

Leonard Bernstein did some of his best work when he was holding back the Gay.

The Time John Mulaney Accidentally Got a Prostate Exam

Munn and Mulaney post *a lot* of pics of the baby on social media.

Doesn’t this go against the current celeb trend where most famous people now desperately ask for and/or *demand* total privacy for their kids, who “did not ask to be in the public eye!”?

He takes after his father: Fetal alcohol syndrome.

He's trailer trash who happened to grow up in upper-class Chicago and become a millionaire on SNL and by suckering his fanbase.

Pretending to be sober in your act while you're drinking and using: Trash.

Pretending to be monogamous in your act while you're hooking up with strippers and random girls on Tinder: Trash.

Pretending not to want children on principle, then knocking up your mistress one month out of rehab: Trash.

He's the Scott Disick of comedy. Even trashier than that, but I struggle to find a reality-TV-scale trash metaphor.

There’s a TikTok supposedly of Pete Davidson cuddling with the Mulaney spawn, but nobody knows if it is real?

I would have aborted

41-year-old Olivia Munn never considered aborting for a millisecond.

It was her last chance at a meal ticket, and she got it from a married addict she was (inexplicably) obsessed with.

Even if she had to basically rape his less-than-one-month-out-of-rehab ass.

Disgusting all around. And this child is going to grow up reading all about it.

“Bring me a….knitting needle!”

What I can't shake is the feeling that bringing this child into the world was a form of abuse by both Mulaney and Munn.

It may seem comparatively high class, because the parents are celebrities and relatively well off.

But this child's life is not going to proceed or end well.

Anybody have any inside info as to what is really going on with these two (currently)?

R99, there’s an article in People.

Is Uncle Pete going to get him his first tattoo?

[quote]knocking up your mistress one month out of rehab

I think that's being kind. It's very likely he knocked her up while in rehab.

Baby to Pete: “Dude, you so hiiiigh right now!”

Me Hiệp sorry me smack em on coco!

Asian genes are strong.

So these two crazy kids have managed to keep this baby alive for over two months now!

The baby might provide some stability for him as he has to focus on someone other than himself. He might really enjoy having a baby.

Some of you are really over the top with hatred towards him as if you were scorned. And predicting the baby’s life isn’t going to end well? Get a grip.