Jack Grealish, Parte XIII: Faeries wear Boots

For context about Jack’s staggering lack of progress in his new role...

During his debut match vs. Guinea for England Under-21s side, newcomer Grealish scored 2 goals and produced a valuable assist. That’s the same contribution as he’s made so far at City in 5 months and 15 matches as an adult under maestro Guardiola. As many goals as he scored in a single game years ago, when he had only just left school, and was working through nerves/a hangover alongside a passel of other hopeful but frankly disappointing teens (most of whom we’d never go on to see kick a ball for England or the Prem again—England U21 players rarely make it further for some reason).

Worse and more damningly, a younger Jack managed 5 goals inside of 6 months for Notts County of all people in the 2013-14 season (a few years prior to his England callup) for a loan spell to which he was vehemently opposed and by which he was insulted. And for which he was also massively hungover in the way that only 17-year old party sluts can stand to be.

All this to prove that Jack simply can’t play well where there’s no room to improvise, plays are planned and wins are guaranteed, and everyone around is better than him and don’t really need him there. Jack is a scrapper, who craves stakes and thrills and long shots. He needs something for which he has to fight and on which he can gamble, no sure things. These are the dangling carrots that keep him playing out of his skin (same reason Southgate keeps taking the Captain’s band away from Hendo). He is—and wants to be—the unlikely lad who saves the day at the 11th hour. That’s why it took Villa’s relegation to get him to shine brightest.

Ideally, Jack needs to leave Manchester, and drop into a middling team of write-offs, an Arsenal or Everton or Sunderland for instance, to give him enough motivation to push himself and his teammates into beating the odds. In a world that made sense, he’d be Captaining a lower-table side back into the top half as we speak.

If you’re an Elderbear you might have a shot with Jack. He likes getting deep tissue massage from big hairy guys😬

even types in Brummie ugh

Would be interesting how he'd fit in with a club like Everton especially with guys like DCL and Tom Davies who are the complete opposite of Jack when it comes to fashion taste.

^^^a concept!!

Personally I would love to see Jack introduced to the wonders of high fashion (and homosexual experimentation🤫) by more enlightened teammates. Jack’s got a malleable and open mind albeit a limited one, so with nudges in a better direction he could be so much more than he is.

He certainly isn’t getting a chance to evolve as a man sat next to Kyle Walker & Phil Foden on the C*ty bus, DMing teen models on Raya, then going home to Sash...

R5, if Jack ended up at Everton in near future he'd more likely gravitate toward Jordan Pickford, who is Chav to the bone.

These threads should be how slutty he is and how much his hot hole needs attention. Whoever controls his hole controls his behavior.

R7 yessssss! Here’s to another full year of Jack becoming the slut of all sluts!

[quote] Whoever controls his hole controls his behavior.

Beehaeeve yaself, R7, and dooen’t assk obvyes queshchuns.

R8, that little clip sums up the appeal of Jack--horny good natured dimwit out for a good time.

I don’t get it. Why does he have threads on here? Is he gay, or just someone DL wishes was gay because he’s young, handsome and white?

There's a lot of Grealish threads because they all seem to get permanently pay walled so another one has to be launched. I certainly don't think he's gay nor do I desire for him to be gay. He's a sexy athlete, charismatic, but not bright. He doesn't gay bait like Nick Jonas or Harry Styles, but his obvious 24/7 horniness is just fun to watch.

R11 yep, exactly what R12 said.

Jack’s just a pretty bimbo sex addict who always says and does saucy trashy things that get him into scrapes, and we find it all very entertaining (though apparently Muriel does not?).

He also has calves and an arse that were sculpted by Gods, if that’s of interest. Sadly, those same Gods spent so long crafting his body that they forgot to give him a brain.

[quote] When I was a kid, I look back and they were the best times of my life, with not one bit of pressure on you whatsoever."

Jack doubling down on denial and defending his greedy controlling father😣bab you don’t have to lie to us. We know the score...

The more I watch Jack talk about his past vs. his present, the more I believe this City move was not something he wanted for his career or his well-being at all. Ok, the money’s great, and it buys better drugs, but still he doesn’t want to go to work at all anymore, and his spark is fading fast. Something is not right.

Xmas Jack with his dog Skye💞🐶🎄

The décor in his new place is genuinely vile. All that money and not a scrap of taste to be had.

Watching Baldiola run the same old boring-but-effective plays to decimate Leicester (from the worst place in the Midlands) rn. Can’t believe he’s forced Grealo to watch this shithousing from the bench. In this cold WEAthuh! Pep is a hard Daddy to please.

Sterling & Walker are on fire in Jack’s absence, too, which is doubly funny. The older, less popular, less-cute players making a mockery of the golden new kid (R u watching, Gareth Southgate?) Even Little Phil’s come on the pitch to have a kick about over Jack.

But Leicester’s James Maddison acting like a hardman over challenges, because he knows Jack is watching? Pathetic bitter ex-boyfriend vibes. Get over yourself, Madders (and maybe think about quitting the gambling while you’re at it..) C*ty are cunts, but you have to rise above it babe.

And ofc there’s barely anybody turned up to watch this shit, either. And why would they? It’s Boxing Day of a Hell year, in a Pandemic, the players are all hungover from yesterday, and this game is probably rigged. Most only turned up to see if Jamie Vardy would come on and give us all a laugh. But I never get tired of making ‘Emptihad’ jokes.

Realising after this rant that I actually slightly hate winter domestic szn in the Prem tbh. Or at least this one. Bored of it now. Bring on the England summer boys (and especially Summer Jack) and the World Cup please!

Unfortunately R16, World Cup 22 will be at end of 2022 due to the climate in Qatar so no summer Jack/summer England.

I prefer hunky Jordan Henderson.

R18 same tbh

his Xmas content has me weak😍🤒will gladly volunteer to be the Clara for his Nutcracker (if Jack isn’t already taking the part)....

R17 oh yeah I forgot about that reschedule😞

Oh well, at least next Xmas will be more exciting than this one eh? And it’s so hot in the UAE all year, so we might still get a bit of Jack half-naked and tanned in skimpy shorts (and he’ll defo go on holiday in January to somewhere with beaches after the tournament...)

In the meantime, I guess cute Winter Jack will have to do💙❄️

Jack is on track to become the next Ross Barkley. Fading fuckboy goodtime Charloe Chav, who gets dropped from nationals once he turns 28 because it turns out that beneath the flair and sparky he’s actually pretty fucking useless for club and country.

For contest, Ross has only scored one goal for his domestic club in 3 years—yeah, you read that right. He hasn’t been in the starting squad for England then, either. He’s dunzo in the Prem, headed back to League 1 in the next couple of transfers.

As is Jack. Which works out nicely, because they were good mates at the Villa.

I bet Jack and Ross got up to some trouble when they were at Villa.

R22 indeed! And one can’t imagine the naughtiness that went on in their little clique outside of their club, ‘The Avengers’ (yeah, that’s seriously what they called themselves), along with Dele, Maddison, Chilwell & McGinn among a few others.

Fwiw according to dozens of anecdotal encounters (Tattle have a few horror stories, I know), Barkley is known to be an utter entitled divo prick to working members of the public and to fans he meets, which doesn’t reflect well on his longtime good mates such as Jack...

His crotch is a smorgasbord.

⬇️more Ross/Jack throwback content😢

R24 massive bollocks but a small dick, so the rats say.

The most recent upload to the England NT channel on YouTube was a ‘Best Of’ clip compilation, that did not feature the ultimate homoerotic moment of Hendo doing Jack’s tie for him. Injustice that yenno.

treacherous thought: winksy and his dog belle >>>>>jack and skye

and im not even a spurs fan😅🤭sorry jack darlin its just the harsh truth

R11 It's just two people talking to each other (charitably assuming it's not just OP with two accounts). Block R12 and R13 and there's only four (five with this one) posts left.

And both of them are too cheap to buy a membership.

Yep R29/R11 please block and leave the thread if you don’t wanna chat about Jack or the Prem. there are a few of us here in these threads (usually about five or six tbf, dunno where the other few have gone atm) who have an interest, so just let us get on with it in peace yeah? We don’t make a habit of going into one of the dozen active busy threads on whatever shitty tv show or porn studio or tabloid news is trending, then ask why anyone is bothering to talk about it. If it’s not your thing then it’s not your thing. Peace. Don’t need be a policing dickhead about it😘

No fucking point blocking the thread is there, because you'll be creating another one within a day or two once Muriel shuts this one. Can't take a hint?

And LOL no it's been you two for a while now. Just swap emails or some shit.

R3 oookay...so you admit you’ve been stalking the Jack threads as well as our individual posts? That’s creepy as fuck actually. Like you can say that we’re fans with no lives but...better that than a troll with no life eh? Really you shouldn’t be harassing other posters on this board who are just minding their own business like.

If Muriel herself has a problem she can come here and explain why then shut it down herself. She doesn’t need jumped-up little bootlicking hall monitors honestly😂

^^^meant for R31 obviously

R32 Aww look at you getting all upset for being called out on your bullshit.

And fans? All you do now is post bitching about him for whatever reason. So, when you're talking about trolls...

R34 yanno from the way you type and make ad hominem attacks, I have a feeling you’ve been stalking me and my posts on other threads too. Could you seriously please just leave me the fuck alone, and like get a man or a friend or an interest or something. It’s genuinely weird and offputting that you’re so into bullying me. I had enough bullying at school so I really don’t need it off messageboard Naz!s as an adult. Cheers, hope you find what you’re looking for in life (clue: it’s not here lecturing me)

R35 Except you're the only one making ad hominem attacks and insults. I've actually not insulted you once, I've just stated facts.

I enjoy these threads and cunting cunts who complain about people posting on subjects of no interest to them are just, as noted, cunts.

Trolling, constipated drunks with little experience of life.

Thanks for ALL the threads, OP.

Just block the cunt.

I wonder if Jack will be starting vs. Brentford today. Maybe, given the number of matches, so that others can rest.

R38 yeah mte. Reckon he will come on, if only to placate his fans and get eyes on the game and arses in the seats—maybe we’ll see him sub in at the 60 minute mark as per tradition. It’s not like the club bought him because they needed his ball skills....

Hopefully Jack didn’t go as mad on the festive food & booze (& whippits..) this year as he did last year. He looked uncomfy last winter.

Missing him in grey Villa training kit now! Hate the white one for City sfm😞

Kept an eye on Grealish last night, and I conservatively estimate that 95% of his passes were back towards his own goal. In fairness, he almost always found his man eventually with this technique, but it is the bare minimum contribution to play. This is not the lad we once knew.

Alan Shearer reckons Jack has lost his bottle. Sadly, he may be right.

So far the biggest development in Jack's life since joining Man City is that it appears he's in a full fledged bromance with Phil Foden and completely corrupting Foden as a result.

R42 yes, as it stands Jack is doing more harm than good to the current MCI side. The conspiracist in me hopes that this was the true secret masterplan all along; destabilising the tyrannical monster-club from the inside, so that they’re easier to depose when the time comes...

Funny that Little Phil is following Jack’s whim so blindly, though, as pre-Jack/England he really did seem to be all about his career and his little kid only. Hopefully the fun and allure of being a wingman will wear off fast, and he doesn’t lose too much credibility by association.

Guess this is why for years Southgate was so reluctant to call Jack up—no matter his good intentions and popularity and drive, he’s a poor example to and influence on the younger and less confident lads. Without a Mings or a Hendo around to keep him in check, Jack just can’t be trusted.

I love his endless need for attention. Always hugging his team mates. Very sexual. But Hendo is more my kind of guy.

R44 surely not Jack “if someone don’t look at my arse right now I’ll die” Grealish?😂

Assumed the Jack/Phil thing was fairly one-sided but since last week I’m not so sure now🤔

whoever it was at Old Trafford who screamed abuse and called him a nonce has called it on with a legion of Jack supporters!

we fans can take the piss (lovingly) but others can’t😔rules are rules

Bros or Hos, Jack is pretty indiscriminate in his taste. Then again when one is horny as he is, variety is the spice of life.

R47 yep! Jack has been through so much pussy that it must be a bit boring for him by now. A cock in him every now and then greases the gears, so to speak...

We must thank John Terry for some of that—his training of Jack in compulsive bisexual harlotry was a roaring success.

Richard Keys has called upon Stevie G. to buy Jack in the January transfer I’m crying😂😂😂

What is wrong with EPL why are we like this?

Anyone following the MCI-Arsenal match on atm? I would but Jack’s on the bench again, Stonesy isn’t even in the matchday squad, and frankly I’ve already watched City play like three times too many in the last couple of months and I can’t face it again babes😔my 2022 resolution is to stop giving those blue wankers so much engagement😘

With any luck, after the game Jack will swap buses with Emile Smith-Rowe, and no-one will notice. Course correction to get ahead of the transfer window...

Sports journos reporting that transfer valuation experts now claim Grealish is currently worth £72million (and going down), a slump of 20% in his value which was as high as £90m in October. Grealish was recently among the top five most valuable Premier League players, but is now joint 10th, behind the likes of his teammate Phil Foden, and Man United’s Jaden Sancho & Marcus Rashford.

If he doesn’t play well or at all in the next fortnight, another team could probably pick him up for £65m if Pep wanted to sell.

He remained on the bench for the entire match today. That must be frustrating. Didn't play, and couldn't be on his phone to arrange a shagging session with some filthy cow.

not Emily Atack describing her experience with Jack as “filling a void”? 💀Girl look at your word choices look at your life choices

[quote]What’s a dark princess to do?

Presenting hole would be a great start.

You won, Man City. Enjoy the title you fraudulently bought, I hope it makes you happy. Dear lord, what a sad little life, City. You ruined my 2021-2 season completely, so you could have the title, and I hope now you can spend it on lessons in grace and decorum.

Came across another sex-swapped photoshop of Jack again on the feed😆

The people who make them always put him in slapper makeup, it’s so funny (and true). Ofc female footballers don’t and don’t need to wear makeup at all, but you can bet if Rule 63!Jack played he’d be caked in it anyway.

Actually now that we’re talking about it, as either sex he’s really more WAG material than baller, isn’t he?

After Emily’s cryptic social posts, Jack’s now having to butter up Sash and her family by whisking them off to a luxury Cotswolds lodge.

This relationship, whether fake or real, seems more trouble than it’s worth. It’s not even boosting Jack’s credibility as a responsible grown man (hah), because everyone knows how much he fucks about. Jack looks like a dick, Sash looks like a mug. What’s the point?

The countryside they’re in is lovely, though, so at least there’s something nice to cleave to in this otherwise depressing update.

R55 if his career keeps nosediving, you mightn’t have to wait long. It’s not like he can do punditry or coaching or owt, is it? OnlyFans beckons...

While selfishly I really want Jack to fail at City because I feel it’s the wrong environment for him, tbf he’s getting the same treatment in the press that DeBruyne had during his first year at the club—and look at Kev now. Maybe (and sadly) Jack can’t be written off just yet.

right LOOK I know logically the January transfer window makes sense. cos then you can, in theory, sort out your season if you’ve had a mare

BUT it’s so fucking annoying like who can be arsed? NOT ME. Just after Christmas wtf c’mon… dunno about everyone else but I’ll have too much shit on myself to be worrying about the financial situation of rich people I’ve never met. Cancel it tbh!!!

tl;dr I’m fucking GAMED OUT gyals🛌

if ur goin America after this failed experiment Jack then just go now yeah? and spare us all years of drama. they all fancy you in the States and they don’t understand or care how rancid everything you’ve done lately is so you should get on

I've been following Premier league since August 2015 and I learned early on to never pay attention to "news" items during transfer windows. Just fodder for click bait sites. Only sources I trust are when a club officially announces a signing and that the man has passed his physical.

[quote] I've been following Premier league since August 2015

Ooh, you’re ‘ard.....

Way to make friends and encourage interest in soccer, R63! Many of us are new to the PL action on and off the pitch, but will seek out information and gossip elsewhere rather than suffer your ridicule.

Have fun here talking to your arrogant self.

R64 if you’re keen to become a football fan, then you’ll need to learn to understand and communicate using banter, which is an integral part of the sport. Consider that last exchange a shibboleth.

Here’s a hint—flouncing off and getting shirty when someone lightly ribs you for the very first time is not banterous, and further is unlikely to make you any lasting genuine British friends. It’s hard to have fun and relax around someone who’s touchy.

R62 here. American here, but I've some English friends so no offense taken to the banter attempt. Some English banter goes past me as I'm not English and some not funny, but I don't get offended by it. It's just different. My English friends put a high premium on banter but know Americans have a different take on it. I think it frustrates them sometimes, but they're here in America so they have to deal with the cultural differences.

Worried about Jack going 🇶🇦 next year if we’re honest. He’s too fruity, they might try and stone him at the gates for being too sexy and provocative.

Anyone have information that could lead to the sending back to Ireland for Jack for his own safety? Or can we get An Garda Síochána on the phone?

Shtunk faygala R65: in my civilized neck of the woods you'd be considered a rude asshole.

It's a sport, for God's sake, the "beautiful one" which the likes of you degrade. I didn't post on "your" Forum and thread to make any "lasting genuine British friends" (my British best friend of 30 years is sufficient, thank you very much), but to learn more about the game as he isn't an ardent fan; which, incidentally is none of your fucking business, so don't bother to offer snark on his disinterest. Consider yourself the first of the toxic people I resolved to avoid this year.

Fuck you, your far-off head, and the jackass you rode in on. Consider that last exchange a Yiddish feh via The Bronx.

R66: good luck with this lot.

R68 LMAO ‘beautiful game’ who? Where have you been babes? The Prem is toxic af these days, and we all know it and simply lament our suffering as we watch like catharsis. It’s a parasocial relationship of hurt (you know.... like the song....55 years of it.....ask your mate maybe)

[quote] in my civilized neck of the woods you'd be considered a rude asshole.

Right ok fair play. Where I’m from is the English equivalent of Deliverance (the literal backwoods) and we don’t really bother with niceties, but just for you and your sweet tender soul I’ll try harder hun!!!!

[quote] I didn't post on "your" Forum and thread to make any "lasting genuine British friends" (my British best friend of 30 years is sufficient, thank you very much), but to learn more about the game as he isn't an ardent fan; which, incidentally is none of your fucking business, so don't bother to offer snark

Yeh except if you read what I actually wrote properly you’d see that I don't care and didn't ask any of that in the first place?? I now know way too much about you, and you’re looking foolish boxing with air. Plus this hole you put me in isn’t deep enough and i'm climbing out right now ✌️

[quote] Fuck you, your far-off head, and the jackass you rode in on. Consider that last exchange a Yiddish feh via The Bronx.

This last bit is gibberish to me soz. I pure don’t know what Americans say half the time in person tho so don’t feel bad😂😘

Also I am genuinely sorry for hurting your feelings and seeming like I was gatekeeping or whatever. To me it is banter, it’s just how I’m used to interacting with other fans. But obviously I need to take care with non-Brits not to do that, so I won’t with the next person. Hope that helps and is good enough a redress for you?🐣beyond that there’s really nothing I can do about the misunderstanding so

Cleanup on Sicko Thread, Muriel!

This OP guy is responsible for 47 of the 68 posted comments. Has the whole world gone batshit crazy?

Villa really finessed Man City £100m for Grealish and then bagged Coutinho, unreal business! This club is massive!

🎶And it’s hi-ho, As-ton Vi-lla....

Jack should go West Brom. He’s a Baggie in spirit, I know it.

Plus it’s a great team. They’re about to win yet another FA Cup match and put Brighton back in their place.

Chloe Brockett of TOWIE game has thrown his name into the press now, saying he was crscking on to her at a party in Mykonos. Fucksake.

The fact that his agent is doing nothing about all these rumours with a hundred different women makes me sideeye his reported hyperheterosexuality. Letting such a big public drama about it happen is suss....

Man City are looking to hire a new physio and a doctor for their players rn.

If anyone feels like moving to Manchester and infiltrating the evil empire, we could rescue Jack from the brink. Nobble him so he can’t play and gets dropped, then Pep will have to sell him to a better club🚑💸the perk of the mission is that you probably get to feel Jack up at some point...

[quote] 🎶Wake me up before you go-go! Who needs Grealish when you've got Coutinho?

Correction: OP is fraulein, not a guy.

R76 why would u send hateful anons tho? u fruity ? been thinking about me ?

Sasha...really told press she’s hoping for a proposal this year...who’s gonna tell her...

Sash babes u can’t marry the roadwife of another man?? Hendo isnt guna share is he

but u can marry a devoted lesbian who thinks youre more gorge than any other girl to exist

and actually thats me Im ready to be your rock and speaking of heres your rock angel 💍

hole presentation pls

R80 until some humanitarian soul leaks Jack nudes, you’ll just have to squint through the thin shorts and use imagination🕳