Almost 24 years old never had a boyfriend (female)

Yes, get thee to a nunnery and marry the Lord, he is the only boyfriend you will ever get!

Are you Candy K, OP?

-24/10

R1 You’re probably right

R2 I’m not trolling.

I don’t think that, OP!

Hi OP. People who want to find someone worth being in a relationship with tend to wait longer to have sex. Stop this "its too late" thinking. Sure, people will judge you, but whatever, no one has to know.

Here's the bigger question - are you afraid of sex and/or dating more aggressively? Are you hoping The One finds you? Are you self conscious?

Those are the things to wonder about. Not whether or not your age randomly disqualifies you.

Make a game plan. There are millions of guys out there. Shake off your notions about how it should happen. Live in reality, get practical and get out there. You'll find something.

You don't have to have tons of sex in your 20s, but looking back at your 20s with regret and wishing you'd put yourself out there more and had some fun? That's something to avoid.

Chin up. At least you have a clean bill of sexual health!

Give up

-10/10

R6 Thank you for the encouraging words. I appreciate it. I guess I am hoping “the one” finds me. I’m way too self conscious to try a dating app. I guess I’ve always been awkward around guys, most of them were mean to me growing up. About 2 years ago there were rumors this guy at work liked me and I really felt we had chemistry. When I tried to ask him if it was true, he never gave me a straight answer and then he ended up ghosting me. Ever since then I’m kind of afraid to put myself out there. I just feel envious of other people my age who are dating or have experience. When I compare my complete lack of experience to them, I feel like an outcast.

R7 I was actually thinking of getting a cat.

OP/R9, If you insist upon being a pathetic loser, no quality person is going to ever be interested in you.

R11 Brb going to kill myself.

R12 Remember, you have to walk along the road, crossing it is for pussy attetion whores. Godspeed.

Maybe stop hanging out on websites for gays and lesbians, OP?

finger yourself on dirty twitter and put your location.

R14 I’m borrowing someone else’s account.

Did you glue it shut? Should work for a few more years.

Get one of these

The longer you wait - the more awkward and anxiety-filled it will be. 24 is not old. Time goes so quickly.

There is obviously hope for you.

try a few different dating sites until you find the one. 24 is too young to give up. 30 isn't.

I’ll be your friend.

Are you too old for a convent? Hmm, how about going on the game? Discount rates?

crying at the people who think this is a sincere thread and not a troll.

Ugh.

Disinfect.

Sorry Honey,

It was too late for you about 10 years ago.

Yes, take the veil OP. of course that will mean you'll be required to turn to lesbianism.

What’s there to judge? It’s not a character flaw.

Sell your virginity. There are plenty of pervs willing to pay top dollar to (legally) bust a cherry. Get the video rights, too.

You’re not a female, no matter how many times a day you dilate it, Jazz Jennings.

Sigh

Can I ask why you're posting about this on a site for gays, OP?

R31 DL keeps it real.

No.

Lot straights on this site too. Afraid of mixed company, reply 31?

Sex is about sex. Relationships (ones that work and last, at any rate) are ultimately about other things.

OP should go out and find some people to fuck, figure out what she likes, what gets her off, etc. Be smart and safe about it, but live a little. Dispense with the mindset that you have to be in love with someone to fuck them, and your life will be much improved.

What are your boundaries? If you met a guy and you had instant chemistry, but it came out he had a foot fetish ( very common amongst males) and wanted to suck your toes, would you run in horror, or would you be open to the adventure of getting to know someone with what is tantamount to nothing more than a foot rub with benefits, which most people, gay, bi. trans, or straight love?

I would like to meet you op.

Of course there are straights here. But the site is not FOR them. It's like asking for dieting advice on a site for airline pilots. Only more presumptuous.

I'm 35 and have never had a real boyfriend; at least not longer than 3 months; so that doesn't count. But...that's because I don't like dick, lol. Trust me, I've tried it. It's terrible.

You're [bold]not[/bold] missing anything. -_-

You're obviously new here, R34. This site is not for straight, as R38 pointed out.

[quote]Dispense with the mindset that you have to be in love with someone to fuck them,

You do if you're not a sociopath...

spinster here, I know I don't belong here, I gave up the idea of getting a relationship at 26 after a couple of experiences that lead nowhere. The question of the virginity is not that important, getting used to live by yourself, making your own money, never having to compromise with somebody is what getting in a relationship difficult, having to share a place with somebody when you are used to be by yourself is very difficult, so get a flatmate to make sure you don't get use to it. (I love being by myself, I loved lockdown, I had a friend staying for a couple of weeks, I don't think she will come again, and I am not inviting people to stay at my place if they have other option)

I can confirm that once you stop looking, prince charming doesn't magically show up to "find you".

r41 seriously? You are missing out on a world of opportunity. Sure, sex with someone you love is great, so is watching a movie together, cooking dinner together, etc. In the words of Tina Turner, what's love got to do with it?

A very nerdy, socially awkward straight female friend of mine got her first boyfriend, a similarly nerdy sort, and lost her virginity in her late 20s. She was thin but kept to herself and made zero attempts to meet guys or style herself in a way that would make herself look more. I can't recall how they met, unfortunately.

OP, you need to ho out and circulate to meet someone. Just open yourself up to new experiences.

[quote]You are missing out on a world of opportunity.

Yeah, nah, r43. I'm r39. And as I stated previously, per my own experiences, of which there have been 4, dick is absolutely terrible. I am not, personally "missing," anything. No disrespect to straight women and gay men, but yeah...I don't see the appeal nor understand why y'all like it so damn much. But, to each their own, I guess.

Cut or uncut?

If uncut, I would give you a charity fuck.

r47 Did you not read the title? OP clearly stated she's a female...

I hope you don't think that you will be with a guy and he will magically know how to make you see stars and yay your 'loss of virginity' will change your love life.

boys, cover your eyes. OP, I sincerely hope that you regularly masturbate and know what gets you off because you don't want to be both nervous about your first time and about whether you are doing it right.

take things into your own hands (so to speak) and just make friend groups and see if a romance happens. looking for both sex and companionship as firsts after all the worrying is too much to ask.

Thanks everyone.

I’m afraid I’m going to die alone.

Spinster City Apartments is offering a 24-and-under discount. Do you smoke?

It's never too late. Just don't expect the first time to be perfect. It's more of a passage type experience, but one you'll want to have anyway. And then it gets better.

Do what straight guys do in your situation. Pay for it. Get it out of the way so when you do find someone you like, there's not all this pressure on him to make the sex all about YOU and YOUR VIRGINITY!

I appreciate the feedback from everyone. I’m trying to take your advice but it’s hard. I’m completely awkward around guys. They’ve don’t find me attractive. Only girls would tell me I’m pretty. I have no confidence.

did anyone bother to ask whether OP even masturbates?

I’m not asexual. I know what it’s like to have an orgasm lol.

OP, 24 years old is still young.

I don't know if this will help you, but I have a female friend who is 55 years old. I met her in college and I do not think she has ever had a boyfriend, though she has expressed interest in men. I also suspect she is a virgin, but we do not talk about our sex lives.

Anyway, we were having a conversation recently about LGBT people in general, and she said, "I'm a single woman, and if anyone every approached me and asked if I was a lesbian I would be deeply offended." And it was in that moment that I saw again that she appears to have deep hangups about sex -- not just her own, but sex for anybody and everybody. She was raised Roman Catholic and I think she was led to believe that good girls don't do that. So her prime years passed her by, and she let her appearance go, and it seems likely that she will never find a relationship with a man for the rest of her life. And yet, we still talk about her non-existent dating life.

So my point is this: get over your hangups about sex, because it is really not that big of a deal. Go find a sex therapist if you need to. Try it with someone you trust and get some practice. (I know a number of people who are part of the polyamorous community and they treat sex as a fun activity, shared pleasure.) Either take some action or just resign yourself to being celibate.

3 words for you: 90 Day Fiance.

I apologize for invading your space. DL is one of the few truly anonymous spaces on the Internet and you guys are known for keeping it real and having interesting commentary, which is why I made this thread. Like I said, I truly appreciate everyone’s feedback.

To the woman who hasn't had good dick: Yeah, most straight guys aren't good at sex, but the few that are...you are missing out. There's a reason 'dickmatized' is a thing.

To the OP, you need to get out of your own way. Take some good pics of yourself. Don't agonize about this, everyone has angles that works for them. Get on a dating app and go on a date, just a date. Coffee or just going for a walk or something like that. Ask them questions so you're not worrying about yourself, and they should ask you questions back (some guys don't bother, that's a red flag). Then go on another date, then another. It's not too late for you.

Anyone from high school you can call?

Someone you know and trust, you maybe had a crush on, still follow on social media and can be approached?

They might find it flattering and you won't be stressed meeting some stranger.

FYI: Many asexuals masturbate, r56. Libido =/= sexual attraction.

And for, now the second time, I'm not "missing out" because I'm not sexually attracted to men, r61. Pretty sure that's a prerequisite if one is to enjoy the "almighty and hypnotic penis."

Later life virginity is FAR more common than most people realise. It's one of the surviving taboos to talk about this.

One of my closest friends, of more than 20 years, recently shocked me by revealing he was a virgin until his mid 20s. He admitted to lying about all the stories he used to tell me about sex in college. He is, and very much was, attractive and successful.

The moral of the story, no it's not too late and you are definitely NOT alone.

I literally just came from a funeral for a 70 year old woman who I am pretty sure died a virgin. She wasn't overwhelmingly socially awkward but she did suffer from social anxiety. She once told me she wasn't allowed to date boys in high school so never felt comfortable when alone with a guy. Her friends were from her school days. She was pretty and quite pretty when she was younger. She always appeared well put together, wore nice clothes, kept her hair styled. She lived at home with her parents until they died when she was in her 50s. She worked as a bookkeeper and office manager for several small businesses in her hometown and unhappily retired when COVID hit. Her world was so small I think she just started dying. By not broadening her horizons she really let life pass her by. Yes, she died alone and wasn't found for over a week after a neighbor requested a wellness check. RIP Deb.

R65, I wouldn't be surprised if there wasn't something else besides social anxiety going on under the surface. Maybe she was bullied as a child, causing her to see herself as "inadequate". Some people never recover from that. Maybe her parents raised her to be codependent with them because they secretly wanted her to never leave them.

Did you not go to college? Do you not drink? Most of my straight female friends are whores. Straight men will fuck anything, especially after a few drinks, so I’m confused. If you are thin, in shape, and don’t drink, I would suggest that you start CrossFit/boxing or another predominately male gym. If you are fat, I suggest that you lose weight, get a makeover, and find some friends to go out to a club and get drunk with. You will loosen up after a few drinks, and the men will drink you pretty and hit on you.

Tina Fey was in her mid-20s when she lost her virginity. Don't stress about it, hon. Join some meetup groups that interest you. Don't do it to find a boyfriend--do it to find like-minded people. That almost always leads to better things--more connections that will make you feel better about yourself. Confidence and comfort in your own skin are highly attractive qualities.

I'm R68--also, OP, don't feel any pressure to lose your virginity. Women aren't men--takes most of us longer to connect with our sexuality. As one of my guy friends told me, "Men have a built in weathervane to tell us when we're attracted to someone--it stands right up to attention." It's more complicated for most women.

My guess is that what you really want is an emotional connection with someone. That's why I suggest joining some groups to meet some people who share your interests. You might meet a guy in a group or meet someone who introduces you to one. But don't stress about your virginity--it's not a magical experience. Losing your virginity is often a dud but it gets you on the path to something that's super fun.

To anyone responding seriously to twat OP, apply some ignoredar. IT is definitely not a 23 year old woman and starts a lot of stupid threads.

As if you shouldn’t have been able to see through its nonsense anyway,

Wow, this is a troll ass thread.

Your answer is at 2:05

R70 R71 I’m not trolling but nothing I say will convince you so whatever. I just turned 24 and I’m female. I come here for the commentary on celebrities and film.

R69 Thank you and everyone else for the advice.

R62 I had a huge crush on my guy best friend in high school but he had a girlfriend at the time. We talked on the phone a few months ago. I don’t think anything would ever happen between us tbh.

R67 I just graduated college. I’m not fat and don’t really drink unless I go out. I grew up with an alcoholic father so it kind of turned me off drinking. However I do love the feeling of loosening up after you drink.

R61 Thank you and everyone else for the advice.

Go to a Catholic singles church group - hot, careful, big cock that gets wild yet very tender. There you'll find the perfect guy to help you lose it and love ya, then send you out into the world like a newly christened slut ship.

Anchors away!

Get involved in a local church

OP, I know that feeling I lost my virginity at 21, a lot of people in their twenties still don't have a relationship.

[Quote]Cut or uncut?

If uncut, I would give you a charity fuck.

[Quote]R47 Did you not read the title? OP clearly stated she's a female...

Maybe R46 is a discerning African male, R47.

Something like 40% of all college kids today aren’t having sex or in relationships, so I’ve heard. Anxiety and atomisation are killing intimacy, and no wonder because the world is a fucking wreck of pornsickness and elitist corruption rn so who wouldn’t want to bury one’s head in cyberspace? I don’t blame anyone for eschewing the pains and travails of sex for any reason or length of time. It’s hard out here.

A lot of them can't get it up for real people due to porn addiction, and some are being chemically or surgically castrated by trans procedures.

Is sitting around waiting helping your situation ? Spend some money and get a dating site membership. That way you can check out the guys interested and if you are interested back. DO NOT TELL THEM YOU HAVE NEVER HAD A BOYFRIEND !!! AND IF THEY ASK YOU FOR MONEY DROP THEM IMMEDIATELY !!!!

I wouldn't approach the guy you had a huge crush on in HS. Not good to have such a buildup, because as others above have indicated--the first time, or first few times are mostly a let down.

I was more thinking you would approach a male friend that you found cute enough, but never got past the friend zone with for whatever reason. Someone to experience the event with where your relationship wouldn't change much nor be overly built up into what it probably isn't going to deliver on anyway.

And never date or sleep with your best friend's boyfriends, even exes. That shit is just bad karma all the way, especially for women.

Haven't you got some cousins you could fool around with OP?

Sex age intimacy is overrated anyway hun. Trust me you don’t want it.

R86 sorry but what does ‘Sex age intimacy’ mean?

R82 that’s no lie. I watch a lot of porn and can’t get it up for anyone. I don’t get laid ever so it isn’t that bad.

If OP is real she’s not alone, or even that unusual. Celibacy and late-in-life virginity is steeply on the rise, due to the societal changes detailed above by several astute posters.

For just one anecdotal example of thousands, I’m a 30-year old virgin female who has noped out of all romantic intimacy physical and emotional, for a complex set of reasons, including those issues of a medical and socioeconomic nature (it would take too long to explain here, and if I tried I’d get screamed down for being a boring and self-absorbed ‘stinkfish’’, so I won’t get into it).

Now, I’m open to the fact that this ostensibly rather radical life choice may prove unnecessary one day, even sooner than I anticipate, but up to this point in my life and for the very foreseeable future? I know and accept that celibacy the best path for me and my life, faced with what is going on around me and what I’m going through. There are bigger priorities I must tackle.

Who knew that we had so many straight virgins on this site?

Depending on where you live, OP, look into a male prostitute. They would probably be grateful for the custom from a young female as opposed to whatever horrors they're usually dealing with. As I say, this may be dependent on where you live, as male-on-female hookers aren't as common, I would imagine.

Alternatively, join a dating app. You're lucky that your target is men because men are not fussy. It's a truism, at least on DL, that straight men will fuck a hole in the ground, so why not benefit from that?

That's basically what I did. I went on the gay apps for the first time and ended up going out with this guy a couple of times. I was a total virgin. It struck me that, wherever things would go with him, I would not want to be in a situation where my first sexual experiences would be freighted with my desire to build a relationship with this guy. Too much riding on it.

So, I went out and whored around. That's what most straights do in high school, I guess. You've missed that boat, as I did, so you will just have to recreate that careless rush of your first encounters rather than catapulting yourself into the adult world where sex and companionship are, particularly for straights, a bit more interwoven.

Maybe none of this applies to straight women, I don't know. Whatever you do, get moving on this. You will regret the time that you spent not having sex. I know I do, but then I am very sexually motivated. I've never been a woman but, as a man, sex is an amazing thing and only those who've never had sex will claim that it doesn't enrich life. And because it does enrich life, don't deprive yourself.

^^some of this advice is sound, but OP be careful and be forewarned about availing yourself of escort services. All sex workers are human beings deserving of respect and trying to make a living, but to be frank the risk of venereal disease transmission and resultant complications from fucking them are high, and you do not want the clap or crabs or UTI/cystitis or a bladder/kidney infection out of the gate.

Add to that the emotional and psychological ramifications of experiencing your first fuck with someone who is being paid to semi-reluctantly be there, and who sees you as the personification of tonight’s dinner. Emotions are more important to women sexually than they are to men, and the imprint of a first time with an escort could be damaging as much as healing.

The chances of this method proving a good introduction to the world of intercourse are not significant enough to take the risk, imo. But of course it’s an option, you do you, no-one here is giving you your marching orders.

I'm sorry, but r91, that is terrible advice. First, OP made it clear that she cares more about the fact that she hasn't had a boyfriend. It's in her title. That means she, like most females, prioritizes a relationship over sex.

Women aren't like men. On average, we're not just looking for sex with no connection. Obviously, there are exceptions, but those women are not the norm, and in many cases tend to have serious emotional problems, anyway; usually problems that have been carved into existence by a bad father (see: daddy issues).

We are not wired to just seek out sex like that, which is why male prostitutes tend to have more male clients than female. It's not only because "women tend to not need to resort to paying for sex" but it's also because our drive is more emotional-based than physical. It usually goes, emotional connection > mental connection > physical connection. Men literally work backwards from that model.

Women also have far more to risk and a bigger burden to bear from the consequences of sex (i.e. pregnancy, diseases that can lead to ovarian cancer and subsequent infertility). I'm actually not surprised that OP is a 24 year old virgin. Considering that males are becoming more and more sex obsessed and with the ease of access from porn and OnlyFans they have no incentive nor patience to invest in a relationship and actually take the time to connect to anyone emotionally, especially not a female.

There are exceptions in that realm, also. My younger brother is one of them. He actually wants a wife and family some day, but girls in his generation (under 25) ironically take his restraint toward getting physical with them right out of the gate as disinterest and their ADD kicks in. So, it's a big mess.

I think the earlier advice to go to church might be OPs best bet. It's usually traditionalists in there who still have hopes of building a nuclear family. Overall, societal values have changed, where that's no longer the norm; especially in Western countries. Hook-up culture has ruined everything. And it's emotionally damaging, especially to young women because no matter what feminists try to say, we are not wired like men when it comes to sexuality. One doesn't have to be wired like a man to enjoy sex. And feminists sold the lie to women that the only way they can enjoy sex is to act like men, instead of embracing their own unique wiring with regards to sexuality, which works perfectly fine when properly nurtured.

End rant.

Very great thread here. It’s great to see the opinions of all walks of live on here in a somewhat respectable manner.

[quote] Add to that the emotional and psychological ramifications of experiencing your first fuck with someone who is being paid to semi-reluctantly be there, and who sees you as the personification of tonight’s dinner

Lol bullshit. Drama queen. I’ve done it as a gay man and turned out fine…

R95 so you’d really recommend that to find a loving relationship our insecure, shy, sensitive woman OP fresh out of College, pay a grifting whore stranger who’s mentally and emotionally checked-out and not available for any kind of emotional connection to give her a quick clock-watching one-time appointment to fuck, instead of her getting a girlfriend or female colleague/family member she trusts to hook her up with a decent-enough single guy she’s at least basically vetted and found to be nice and on the level?

[quote] sex is an amazing thing and only those who've never had sex will claim that it doesn't enrich life.

By ‘enrich’, I assume you meant it in a non-productive, non-literal sense. There is no way to qualify that. As a person with sexual activity in your bank of life experience, who are you to say that someone without that same experience is necessarily impoverished?

Using this language, you ascribe ersatz value and worth to an animal behaviour, which is a surefire way to become caught in the mental traps and strictures of hyperecinomised and mechanised desire matrix.

^ The fact that you are coming back here to reply again - two days after treating us to one of your trademark essays at R93 - is proof (if proof were needed) that your life doesn't meet anyone's definition of "rich". And it never will, so get that into your thick skull.

Now, run along.

I'm r93. That is a different person. So, if you have a problem with my response to you in that "essay," back up off r97 and come at me.

What's good?

Lo siento, R93/R99. I thought that R93 exhibited traits of style that I associate with another poster here who later popped up at R97.

OP needs some outgoing female friends who know how to dress well and do hair/make-up. A makeover would help boost confidence. Spending time with confident outgoing women will help you learn how to better interact with people, especially men. This is the route I went. I became confident and outgoing myself. It rubs off on you.

R93/R99 thank you kindly for the defence and the redirection. It shan’t be necessary.

[quote] ^ The fact that you are coming back here to reply again - two days after treating us to one of your trademark essays at [R93] - is proof (if proof were needed) that your life doesn't meet anyone's definition of "rich". And it never will, so get that into your thick skull. Now, run along. —Actually, that should probably be "waddle along".

If one’s skull is thick, it is to protect the mind from the onslaught of whatever passes for debate these days.

To wait before replying, and considering what to say in the interim, is a mark of thoughtfulness and depth. I wanted to ruminate on your comments, because I took them seriously and wanted to make sure I fully understood.

As I said, as far as we as a species of thinkers are aware, it is impossible to ‘prove’ empirically the worth and quality of another being’s life with any sort of objective metric. That is why, as our time passes (a constructed, artificial time, let us remember), we still endure ever-revolving wars of ideology, the emergence of new religions, the ongoing fight against the unfortunate traffic of peoples, and shifts in the paradigm of thought.

That said, I open to hearing in greater detail of this mysterious method of weighing and measuring the worth of another, the one you seem to extol but not explain.

Sex is overrated. Those who are obsessed have nothing better to make them happy and are primal to revert to such simple pleasures. Relationships also are overrated. Enjoy the theatre or an art show. There is pleasure and beauty in just being you and enjoying the things you want without anyone else getting in the way.

I’m about to turn 25 and still am a virgin and never had a boyfriend. I guess it’s not meant for me.

This really sucks.

I don’t know how to approach dating at this age.

Sell that untapped pussy to the highest bidder, huney!!!! Get enough for at least a down payment on a 2020 Nissan Rogue or enough to get some high end items from Express!!!!! Don’t waste the Kitty on love, turn that coochie into some almost-like Gucci!!!!!!