How are you dealing with aging?

It's fucking hell, let's be honest. I hate aging.

Vivian Vance? Hell, I'm Latter Day Lucy, playing backgammon, smoking, and sipping whiskey!

I feel like a freight train hit me after 45!

It’s hard. I’m not looking forward to being older and less engaged in the world after I retire. I have a good job, and I’m going to miss being fully immersed in my work when I leave the productive work force. I will need to find a place to put my focus and energy, probably Board service or some volunteerism.

I hate it, actually. I'm not going the Madonna route, but I used to be so fit and healthy, with great skin. Now I get random aches, and I see myself in various reflections and wonder how I got to this.

I really don’t give a shit anymore. I’m 49 and I say bring it on!

Gym, Botox, the usual. Kept me in the game for a long while but COVID has done a number.

I was really good with it until this year. But now I have random pains almost every day (usually shoulder area). Makes me feel I need to get used to daily pain in my future? That's really my only worry so far.

In terms of healthy relationships and my career, I'm loving getting older though.

I don’t care how I look. It’s the body pain that is brutal. The positive is it makes me more accepting of death as living in increasing pain is unattractive. I just thought I’d make it to 60 before the body gave up. And I didn’t realize that as you age, some pain just never heals. You live with suffering.

So far, I'm loving 38 -- with its assertiveness and purchasing power -- way more than 28 and 18. But I have a lot of friends/acquaintances who act like they're in mourning though.

Pretty well so far, but am annoyed that I now have knee arthritis. I also can't drink much alcohol anymore, because I now get an all-day hangover after only two drinks. Otherwise, my health is excellent for someone in his late 50s.

[quote] I don’t care how I look. It’s the body pain that is brutal.

Agreed. I’ve never been tempted to Botox. But I’m deeply annoyed every time I get heartburn from eating a bowl of pasta after 7 pm.

I can deal with feeling old, but I hate looking old. Thank heavens although I'm 92, Most guys think I'm in my 30s.

I'm not.

I'm more fabulous than ever!

I'm going to be 41 and I am looking to Ryan Phillipe as my muse. Gym 6 times a week, healthy eating, a solid skin care regime. I haven't gotten any injectables yet but i'll need to do something by 45, possibly sooner. It seems like for men, a mini-mini face lift might be better than botox or fillers. We'll see where the world is at in a few years.

Go with the flow - everybody gets older. And do it gracefully.

R16 - you would really be better off enjoying your youthful life now. That’s a lot of time and energy devoted to your looks. Better to work on acceptance - those obsessive efforts will only work for so long.

R18 - I think it's a win-win in terms of health and also doing the best with what I have. Right now all I do is go to the gym, eat healthy, and use basic, but decent face products. Lifts and botox is something different, but I've hopefully have some time. Being fit is good for my mental health more than anything.

Agree, r16 could be pushing too much. Your focus should be more on healthy eating, cutting out alcohol/soda, and just being generally active (more walking, working with nature and heavy things).

Botox and the gym as someone else posted above. I look a lot better at 66 than most of the younger slobs here in C. Fl

Are you serious R20. Why should a 40 year old NOT be going to the gym, eating healthy, and trying to stay fit. Gaining weight now and then trying to lose it or suffer healthy problems as a result in your 50's does not seem smart. Should single, professional 40's men stick to water aerobics, fast food, and a beer in front of the TV every night? Not in LA, that's for sure.

R22, wth? You went on into your very own different universe there.

I never really gave a shit until I realized I was getting a double chin. That started a whole doom spiral of depression. So I changed up my diet, really hit the gym and quit drinking.

I looked much better - but still had the double chin.

So I’m doing what I criticized other people for doing - going to a plastic surgeon. I’m getting laser lipo and Facetite. I just want a bit of my jawline back.

I’m such a hypocrite but I hate myself in photos now.

My friend had these very small wires that have little hook on the end that are inserted along the jawline. She was in and out in a hour, local anesthetic, and she was drinking by that afternoon. Double chin gone.

I was never much to look at to start with so growing older hasn't made it worse really. I do dread the big decline with all the illnesses that come along with growing older. At times the thought of a few grains of fentanyl seems tempting at some point.

I'm not dealing with it.

Hoping I get some of my mother's good genes and end up aging well. She simply stays out of the sun and wears moisturizer and looks great at almost 70. Some bags under the eyes that she hates and I'll probably inherit, but if they get really bad that's at least a plastic surgery fix that normally works out well for people and doesn't make them look freakish.

I’m 34 and they say “black don’t crack” and most people still guess my age as under 30, but the compliments and insane amount of attention I got because of my looks in my 20’s has faded. It fucking sucks.

When I was 24 I would walk into a party and people would stare and go on and on about how beautiful I was. I was called “movie star handsome” or told I should model. Random people would stop me and compliment me on my skin and face. Today the compliments are less frequent.

I have noticed a bit of volume loss under my eyes which seems to have happened overnight this summer. Also a slight bit of volume loss in the face which I suppose is why I hardly ever get ID’d for alcohol any more (I was still getting carded regularly last year).

Looking into under eye fat transfer procedure and my New Years goal is to stop drinking alcohol to slow this down. Already spend a fortune on organic vegan diet and cold pressed juices.

Gentlemen, your face will (probably) fall, lose definition, and wrinkle no matter how much time you spend at the gym. You can prevent weight gain but you cannot fight gravity. Or loss of collagen. Or years of sun damage. Etc.

Yes, moisturize, use sunblock, keep your weight steady. Personally, I'm thoroughly unpersuaded by Botox for men: I think it results in a really unnatural mannequin-like look, but do what makes you happy.

I just turned 50, and am not dealing with it well. I quit drinking 6 months ago, and had a lower face lift to get rid of the loose skin on my chin. I now have scars on my ears, but my neck is perfect. I also started botoxing and lost 25 pounds so I had to buy a whole new wardrobe. It has been an expensive journey, and at the end of the day I’m still fucking 50. I’m hoping this mid life crisis simmers down soon.

R30, when I first did Botox they turned me into a Kidman. I found a gay guy who told me men need movement and expression, so I haven’t been totally smooth in years. My forehead creases have been turned into forehead lines. And I’m fine with that. Most women are taking that approach, too, now.

Unless I were an actor/performer/broadcaster working in high-definiton video (which is merciless), I wouldn't do Botox. But I understand why others do.

Here's the question though - which is more natural looking: botox or some kind of lift? I am happy with something similar to either Matt Bomer, Ryan Phillippe? Has anyone done a thread lift?

I covering this shit up. I've lost ten pounds. I have droopy abs syndrome - puddly bullshit flesh complimenting the oddest set of deflated love handles. Shit never goes away.

I’ve always taken extraordinary care of myself - & have also had some subtle “work” done over the years - so, as of now, scant months from turning 65, physically, at least, I’m fairing exceptionally well.

I don't care about aging and I'm determined to keep it that way. I think people who go on and on about it are pathetic.

Waning libido *sigh*

[quote] physically, at least, I’m fairing exceptionally well.

But in terms of spelling, not great.

It’s late, R39. I really do know the difference between faring & fairing.

Re: chronic pain.

I (desk job) had almost resigned myself to chronic low back pain. I had been to a physical therapist before, but I tried again with a new PT.

My back (and neck) are so much better now. I already had a pull-up bar in my apartment, so I use that just for hanging / traction and leaning back & stretching my neck. I got a $20 36-inch foam roller from Amazon and do passive stretches on that.

R19/R16 - you're on the right path. Eat well, exercise, keep your weight down, have a skincare regime - but also get Botox and get the fillers probably now more than later.

You need to prop up your skin by 40 with fillers - not a ton - but some. I know from experience - if you don't have the collagen to prop up your cheeks and other places, you'll droop and it's hard to prop it back up again.

I started Botox at 34 and filler at 39 and I never regret it a day in my life. I had to look for a new job this year at 51 years old - I am convinced I was able to get multiple offers and pass through interviews because I looked so much younger.

Yes - there's a vanity component to it - but there's also a VERY practical reason to keep in shape and get Botox and fillers. You want to be employable when you're older. This helps with that - a great deal.

What R17 said. And eat well, exercise, travel. And thank G-d every morning when I open my eyes that I'm allowed another day to participate in this awesome party called Life!

[quote] Here's the question though - which is more natural looking: botox or some kind of lift?

Nether. People who do Botox and facelifts will all tell each other how great they look but it's like a circular firing squad. Anyone outside that ring can see it looks fake, they just are not going to announce it to your face. Men especially look fake with face lifts because the aging adds character which we associate with masculinity not femininity.

R44 - bullshit. Most of the actors in Hollywood have Botox. There are millions of Americans who have had botox - we don't see freaks every day walking around.

You're just anti-Botox for whatever reason and think that the stupid jokes and extreme pics from 20 years ago are true today. It's not.

R45 is in the circular firing squad I was just talking about. So butt hurt to even suggest it looks fake.

Look, I work in and around Beverly Hills and Hollywood. I do not live there however. When you are there every day, you get used to "the look" and even say oh that one had good work done, or this one needs help. It almost seems normal for a while. But when you leave that environment for a while can come back, it's obvious how fake people look. It doesn't look natural. You might think it looks "good" maybe, but not natural.

If you are comparing yourself to Hollywood movie stars with makeup artists, digital photo retouching, and the most expensive plastic surgery in the world, you are going to be disappointed with your results unless you already look like Matt Bomer and Ryan Phillippe. Do you look like them? Lets start there.

Hmmm. I think botox is usually pretty damn obvious. Example number one. David James Elliot (Post JAG). So botoxed for some Hallmark movie that his skin resembled a newly zamboned shiny flesh-colored ice skating rink. If you're 55 now and you spent some time every week from 20-45 in the tanning booth, you might as well give it up. It's too late baby, now , it's too late, quoting Carole King. However, if you're in your 20s and you quit spending time in the sun right now, eat well with plenty of vegetables and fruits, drink plenty of water, avoid alcohol and smoking, watch your weight and get a moderate amount of exercise for the remainder of your life, you will age gracefully. NOT the usual DL "I'm 65 but get mistaken for 30 all the time" gracefully - you'll still age, but you'll be considered attractive for your age. To myself, I look like shit, but I get complimented all the time - by middle-aged WOMEN. Being tall, slender and athletic helps. I'm completely invisible to gay men under the age of 45. I pass them by on the street and they'll say to their friends, "did you just feel a little gust of wind?" It's ok. I can check them out to my heart's content and never be called on it. I think the 60s are the most variable age of all. Some people seriously look 80 at age 60, and some people (from a distance) could pass for mid-40s. At at certain point, you just have to accept the aging process as inevitable, forget about trying to look the way you did in your 20s, and focus on being healthy. If you're still putting yourself out there sexually, you have to be realistic that hot 20 somethings are not losing sleep at night wondering how or if they might get to sleep with you someday.

[quote] regime

Oh, dear. Like Pol Pot always said, "don't forget your facial creams and serums."

[quote] you are going to be disappointed with your results unless you already look like Matt Bomer and Ryan Phillippe. Do you look like them?

I was Mr. Ryan Phillipe's nude body double in Cruel Intentions.

Gracefully and reflectively. Aging is inevitable. It is better to accept and embrace it than to deny and feebly and pathetically struggle to prevent it.

One should meditate on aging and death. Doing so gives you a refreshing outlook on life.

As a youngin' I used to daydream about what kind of cool, stylish older person I would be. Now that I stare down the barrel of life, post-50, I'm struggling to hang on to that youthful perspective that this can be a great season of life to radiate charm and self-assuredness.

The thing I grapple with most is the daily sense that I am wasting time, just watching the sands of the hourglass relentlessly fall. I feel like I should be doing things while I still can, if only I could think of what those things are.

Another real kicker has been watching the effects of my Irish heritage upon my face and skull. They have had an apparent doubling in width over the past couple of years. My once squarish jawline is starting to look short and choppy, like Larry "Bud" Melman. The Ted Kennedy genes are obviously inside of me. What's next? Is my head going to get as wide as my shoulders? I was only an "8 ," tops, in my prime. I cannot afford this.

R45 I'm so old I have to use 20-Mule Team Botox.

I dress well whenever I go out. I don't accept invitations to events that really dont amuse me. I've planned my next and final stage of work. Ove let friends go if they dint keep up their end.

I only need to go back to the gym once covid is over. Meanwhile i walk three or four times a week.

I'm happy to be alive, I guess, but the thought of being without a beau for the rest of my life is dismal.

The surprising thing for me as someone in their mid 50's is how many people would die before me. I have lost friends my age and younger from Cancer, Heart Attacks, AIDS, Car Accidents, Suicides and so on. You always expect older people like parents to go, but no one tells you that a lot of people your age will not even make it much past 50. Growing up I though I would have to deal with that until I was in my 60's or 70's. I feel lucky just to be alive at this point.

Better than most Millennials!

They're gonna hate this shit!!

As long as my cock continues its performances, I'm good. That would seriously be the one aspect I don't think I could handle well. The other changes, I'm bravely handling thus far.

I've some random and non-random pain somewhat regularly from arthritis and prior injuries, but still have all my hair, and really have no wrinkles except for some horizontal forehead creases. Those have always been with me however.

I'm very open to and considering both T supplementation, and a lower Blepharoplasty in the future.

Good outlook R55.

I'm careful about grooming nose and ear hair, and eyebrows. I buzz the hair on my head. I launder clothes frequently to avoid old man smell.

These are polite, considerate things one must do for the sake of others as you age. You don't need to give to charity if you do these.

Why do I fell like some Twink just wrote R59's post.😂

I'm in my late 40s but have always been really physically active. Currently watching a lot of my same-age sedentary friends physically fall apart. Do yoga, kids. Every day if possible. It really, really helps.

I hate certain aspects of aging. It’s crucial that I eat well or my body gets these minor injuries from nowhere. I do wonder if I had the money for it if I would have gone the surgery route. Not like Madonna but having a tight jawline again would be nice.

I used to be concerned about having abs and looking young, but now I worry more about being healthy. You can always tell who gets Botox and other procedures, because it always shows, and not in a good way.

[quote]having a tight jawline again would be nice.

You know who famously said that in public and now cant be stopped? Kenny Rogers.

[quote]How are you dealing with aging?

Doing it.

I'm fine with aging. Of course, I'm 51 but look 35, so....

Without a problem. I'm in my 40s but look like I'm in my 30s. I'm not trying to be a DL trope, a guy at work actually told me he thought I was around 35, 36!

I'm fine with it. I'm 62, reasonably healthy, and in decent shape. I like my life, so I don't have many complaints. My father was dead by the time he was my age, and men inherit their fathers' health risks, so I have to be watchful. So far, so good.

One thing I would like to do is find a house that is all on one floor. I currently have a two-story house with no bedroom or bathroom on the first floor, which could become a problem when I get even older. A little rancher would be ideal, but in the current housing market, I haven't been able find anything affordable. I'm in no hurry at this point though.

R64 He was stopped alright - about a year and a half ago.

I not worried about losing my looks (since I never had those to start with) but I'm worried about loss of functionality. I'm in my thirties and have recurring knee and back pain, and my left eye can't be corrected by glasses anymore. What will it be like in a few decades? If I can't drive or jog anymore I'll be pissed.

First of all, I apologize for the length of this post.

I'm headed toward 69, arthritis & every joint in my body aches, I have glaucoma (under control), cataracts (not yet ripe enough to be removed), ulnar neuropathy, bursitis in both shoulders, tendonitis in both biceps, and to top it off 2 hammer toes. But guess what, I'm enjoying life more today than when I was 30 years old and working 10-12 hours a day including most Saturdays and Sundays because I was a workaholic. My younger life was all about work and sex. Work all day and hmmph all night, day in and day out. That's what an overactive libido will do to you. When the libido finally took a nose dive around the mid 50s I was actually relieved beyond belief. I could finally start to relax. I was able to retire at 53 in 2007, and it was really bad after the first couple of months after the newness had worn off. I didn't know how to relax and I didn't know how to wake up every day with nothing to do. It took me 2 years to learn how to live that way.

These days I don't push myself physically like I used to. Not because I don't want to, it's because I can't. I move a lot slower & I pay extra attention to my surroundings when I'm out and about. At my age falling usually results in days of being laid up waiting for whatever I've injured to heal over. And Heaven forbid, breaking the wrong thing can be a death sentence.

When the pandemic had gotten to its worst I had left the city for a summer house I own to ride it out. Then one day a sweet mama cat and 2 kittens still nursing showed up at my house. Someone had put her out several weeks previously I assumed because she was pregnant. I would see her and her gaggle of kittens crossing the road, but by the time she ended up at my house she only had 2 left. After feeding them outside for several weeks and against my better judgement at the time I eventually decided to formally adopt them & have them all spayed and neutered. I brought them inside as they had almost gotten killed by stray dogs a couple of times. That was summer before last. They have definitely given me a new lease on life. My first and last thoughts every day is the welfare of these 3 little creatures. All my aches and pains are secondary concerns these days.

And just like that, after 14 years of retirement I finally have something important to do again. I've got three little lives that need to be tended too. I think I'm the happiest now that I've ever been.

Life really does change when you least expect it.

[quoted] You can always tell who gets too much Botox and other procedures

Corrected that for you.

I don't care about aging but I hate the pain and slow decline that goes with it. If you're lucky you will just have the usual ailments that come with aging, if not, you get the unexpected serious issues that make life pure hell. I have a little of both. I am approaching 60 and I really don't have anything to look forward to. I don't think that I will have enough money to last me and I never want to be put into an old age home or a care facility. My plan is to hopefully have my faculties and end things if I i see something unacceptable on my horizon. I have no children, I left my lover last year and the only person who really cared about me died a few years ago. I know that I have a very bleak outlook but I have known this would be my life as soon as I realized that I was gay in my teens and have not expected anything better.

R29- You sound BORING

R29 If you were a beauty it is so much more difficult for you. I was never a stunner, though I am sort of attractive, so there is no such great loss for me. Maybe you should relax and enjoy life more, you are still young.

R30- EVERY queen on dl says for good skin- moisturize, use sunblock

How about - Don't smoke

Don't drink

Don't take drugs

and eat lots of fruits and vegetable and few sweets- ALL of these are good for your skin.

R44- President Biden has that MUMMIFIED look on his face. There's no doubt he's a had a TON of work done on his face.

R47- How old are you?

R68- You don't have to move. Just get a stair chair for your house.

I was in the drug store last week in line behind a man picking up a prescription. He was older and had a cane. His legs were very bowed and you could tell he was up there in age. His hair was only half gray though which I thought was odd for someone who seemed so old. When he turned around to leave he did not have a single wrinkle on his face. Not a single one that I could see. He had the face of a 35 year old. When the person waiting on him asked him for his birthdate he said 10/-/25. The man was 96 years old. All I could think was I hope you had lots of kids because they will bless you until the day they die.

Had an upper brow lift paid for by health insurance. It wasn’t drastic or painful, but I don’t look tired. I can’t seem to shake my Covid wfh weight, but I’m trying not to care.

R10 38 ? You are in the prime of your life.

I am resigned to the aging process but have tried not to do things that speed it up…have stayed out of the sun over the last 25 years…am currently 59…I maintain my college weight and waist size….staying lean has made my butt flatter and I have to do squats and leg work in all my work outs and my face is hollowing out so there is a price to pay for staying lean….I exercise 3-4 times/week and have been eating pretty healthy for the past few years….I have streaks of grey/white hair mixed in and still spreading thru my younger dark brown and just letting it go grey/white naturally. I catch myself in the mirror and see my dad’s older face looking back and the crepe skin on my arms and legs occasionally freaks me out….I have dabbled in Botox a few times over the last five years and only have enough done to make me look like I have had a really good nights sleep. I wish I would have taken advantage of my vitality when I was in my 40’s/early 50’s as it really kind of felt like one day I woke up and I had crossed some sort of aging line. I am also trying to do and enjoy the things I can still do..:I don’t have any physical limitations or restrictions yet…haven’t had to have any surgeries….but from watching people around me, it seems to be a “when” rather than “if” type experience…I have just gotten to a place where I just want to look good for my age but am not trying to look 40…..a lot of it is mental attitude…

One thing people here who are critical of plastic surgery are not realizing. For every person who looks like a freak from procedures, there are a few others who have had subtle work done and you cant notice.

Personally, I love my aging face. It's really just the new fat under my chin. It's so unsightly. So im doing something about it and that will be it. Not famous last words because I know myself and I won't ever spend that kind of money again.

There was a great article in The New York Times magazine years ago about plastic surgery in Europe, France in particular. They have way fewer hang-ups over there about discrete surgery. Both men and women do it. It's pretty common. The difference is, in Europe, people get light surgery so it wont be noticed. In the US, people get surgery TO be noticed. They want people to know they've gotten the lift, the injection, the implant. It's a form of peacocking. Hence the freak look. Big tits. Fat lips. Cat eyes. etc.

I’m 65. For me, the only good thing about getting old is not having to got on work and deal with the assholes. But the physical decline has been shocking. I was in fantastic shape until 59, very active, felt great. Everything changed so fast it actually scared me. I am so glad I did tons of traveling when I was younger and didn’t wait until retirement. It would not be enjoyable for me now. My husband is 71. He still runs every morning and works part time. He feels great. But he knows how fortunate he is, because most people we know are not able to do what he does.

While I am not at all religious this is where this little verse comes in handy

grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

courage to change the things I can,

and wisdom to know the difference.

Why fret over something you can't change, learn to deal with it.

"Why fret over something you can't change, learn to deal with it."

unless of course you actually can change it, with a little poke and slice here and there.

I feel very passive and unengaged with life. The things I cared about I don't care about anymore. No motivation to improve my life since I feel it's all downhill from here anyway.

R88- How old are you?

"Old age is like climbing a mountain. You climb from ledge to ledge. The higher you get, the more tired and breathless you become, but your views become more extensive."

- Ingmar Bergman.

The self-congratulation on this thread is pretty hilarious.

Some of you are so incredibly insecure.

Aging sucks. I always worked out, stayed active, but due to four surgeries in the last 8 years, and an accident that makes cardio difficult, I have packed on some weight. I'm tired of being cut open. I'm tired of being pudgy. I hate it. Yes, I have other things that make me interesting. Yes, I have friends, and hobbies, and lead a comfortable life. So I am trying to focus on that. Nothing I can do about aging or the questionable mystery genes I got from my mother's side (She was a ward of the state so we don't know anything about her side and she died a long time ago). Therapy has helped, honestly. But I miss the attention of being younger and attractive. Not to mention the good dick.

Losing my looks isn’t so bad, and the decline in libido isn’t terrible. But the constant pain - that’s the deal breaker. I remember my parents and grandparents constantly talking about their aches and pains. BI thought they were just being funny. Turns out I was wrong.

The one rule I have when I get together with my friends is we can talk about any and all health problems - just not aches and pains. Nobody believes it and nobody wants to hear it.

I still have my looks for the most part. Last week I saw a new doctor for the first time, and without looking at my chart he casually described me as a decade younger. I had to correct him.

But like R93 says, it's the chronic pain and accelerating physical decline that are the real agony. I'd give anything to look my age but feel a decade younger.

Staying away from the sun, smoking, and drinking do wonders. Moisturize and/or wear sun block and you'll be surprised by how much better you look than your peers at 50 and 60. I started noticing it even in my late 20's and early 30's. I'd see people my age who looked 10 to 20 years older because of constant drinking, smoking, and sun tanning.

I am dealing alright with my own aging process. I am taking better care of myself and am not having much trouble accepting my mortality. I do fear becoming incapacitated which is hardly unique. Hopefully I'll buy the farm before it comes to that.

The challenge for me right now is my elderly parents who are starting to go off the rails (and they weren't exactly on the rails to begin with). I thought they were in good financial shape for their golden years, but there are some serious complications. And my parents are very much not handling their mortality well. I can feel my own aging process accelerating trying to sort them out.

I’ll deal with it another day.

"Some of you are so incredibly insecure."

Yeah and? I readily admit to this.

And sucking fat from underneath my chin helps allay that incredible insecurity.

I deal with it...with veils.

All of my friends and my partner are on multiple drugs for a variety of ailments, one friend has to take 13 different drugs every day and he is 8 years younger than me. I feel lucky that the only drug I take is a low dose anti-cholesterol drug. The one bit of advice that was given to me is take care of your health, watch your diet , exercise and don't drink or do it in moderation and don't smoke.

An old friend who is now deceased always said getting old is not for the weak.

I've always said "getting old ain't for pussies". 👍

I treat every one of my aches and pains as rights of passage. They remind me I'm still here when a lot of my friends and acquaintances are long gone with many of them gone far too soon. When I'm feeling particularly crappy and I look around at people my age and see so many in far worse condition than I am, it pretty much slaps me into the reality of how good I actually have it. It could be so much worse.

I'm 5 days younger than Biden. In the past I got up to 300 lbs. Had a stroke, etc.

Figured it out. Became a gym rat. Now at pushing 80, my waist size is the same as when I was 23 which was 34" and I weigh the same as back in 1966.

Feel great. Effects of stroke are gone. Sex is good.

Moral of the story, as others have said, no drinking, no smoking, exercise every day, don't pig out at the restaurant or parties.

It works!!

R102 You are still having sex? I am glad for you. Do you have a partner?

I'm sorry to rain on the lead-a-healthy-lifestylers, but I've known plenty of people who never drank, never smoked, ate healthy food, and exercised almost every day, and they still dropped dead from heart attacks, or died from various cancers or other diseases far too young.

I have always been as careful as possible with my health, within reason. I've never smoked, but I do have a cocktail most every evening. I don't and never have taken drugs, and I stopped eating meat 30 years ago, not because I wanted to but because my digestive system stopped processing meats properly. But I do not lull myself into any sense of security because of the way I live. I know I could drop dead in 5 minutes or have some other terrible health emergency that could kill me. I'm not about to go to too many extra precautions in an attempt to prolong my life. I'll die when I die and I want to be as happy as possible while I'm alive.

I've learned that extra fiber is vital.

I know this is a pointless bitchery zone, but R71 made me smile. I bet those kitties are so grateful. You should put them on Instagram, might inspire more people to seek out furry companions. Good luck to you.

[R71], thanks for posting. It wasn't TLDR at all.

R71 Have fun with the kitty litter

R71 you made me smile as well. You sound sweet and so much happier with the little moggies. Mazel Tov!

Two words...

I used those for a couple of weeks, r110. My partner said they were a turn off, so I quit.

If you're gonna do plastic surgery, cleaning up the neck / chin area seems like an OK place to start. Beware, though. Don't get talked into doing anything more than that.

Is lipo really the only solution for double/ saggy chin?

R103, yes I am married. My boy toy, aged 68, and I have been together 26 years. Yes, we still have sex more than once a week.

Closer to 70 than to 60 here. Physically, it sucks. Aches and pains everywhere, low libido, get easily tired. Emotionally, however, I've never been better. Happy to have had the life I had, enjoying the things I love, absolutely no conflict rejecting and disposing of anything or anyone that doesn't contribute to my well-being and comfort.

Do you dye your grey hair ?

Thanks for the comments. And yes, every day is filled with new things these 3 sweet little creatures get up to. They never fail to amaze me at how they're able to invent new ways to have fun. As for the kitty litter, I've had that issue dealt with from day one. I bought an electric litter machine. It was pricey but it empties itself and I only have to dump it once a day in the morning. My aching bones could never handle manually raking multiple litter boxes 3 times a day.

These kitties have been seen on DL more than once. Mama Myrtle and her daughter Millie and son Billy.

Myrtle is at the bottom, Mr. Billy is in the middle, and Miss Millie is up top giving her brother a hug during their 7 hours a day nap time.

Whatever is the secret of this 101-year old, he need to bottle it.

R71 You are an angel.

Sometimes there’s God, so quickly!

[quote]....dealing with aging?

OP, time is not a deck of cards.

Thanks R119, but no, I'm no angel. Just a big softy where animals are concerned. 😁

I’m fine with it.

Unfortunately I hit the trifecta

Arthritis, sciatica and mild scoliosis (which wasn’t diagnosed until I was 56).

I almost forgot I also have rotator cuff damage

r89, I'm 56.

R123- I’m 56 years old too.

No offense but you sound like a drip 💧

r124, I wish your comment offended me. Nothing gets me going now.

R123- You sound VERY depressed.

R113, I went in for consultations from two doctors for chin lipo, and they both told me that I didn’t need lipo. It was loose skin that was hanging there, not fat. They just make a tiny injection on your chin for lipo. For the lift I got they had to cut behind my ears and pull the skin up. There are lasers that can help for minor cases, or if you don’t want surgery.

R99, That's why I've enjoyed the pandemic, the mask covers my gaunt cheeks.

I'm 43. The physical aging thing is weird. Mentally/emotionally, it's liberating and giving me back some joy that has been long gone.

For people with back or neck pain, start stretching a lot in your groin and armpits. Looks up exercises or if you have a steady bar / pullup bar just hang a few times a day to release tension in neck in a few days.

I'm at a loss with clothing this mess.

Fast fashion looks ridiculous, Hetero golfer chic tempts me to shit in your gazebo, and the interesting stuff is too expensive.

Gray pubes. Ugh.

R130, I posted above about my pull-up bar (and my 36-inch foam roller). I've had the pull-up bar for years and didn't use it because I felt you needed to do full pull-ups on it. Wrong!

Now, I use it for stretching and traction. I never thought about the armpits getting stretched, but maybe that's helping me to feel better as well.

Groin stretches are good for us desk workers as well.

I am 51 and I feel like I am ready to let my body become fish food.

R134- Why?

[quote] I feel very passive and unengaged with life. The things I cared about I don't care about anymore. No motivation to improve my life since I feel it's all downhill from here anyway.

R88 Go within, love, and then without. Surrender to the fullness of silence and stillness. You are not alone. Sometimes we must be broken down to ascend and transcend. It can be scary and painful and even numbing…

Once you’ve connected with the ground of all being, seek someone to lift up and whose life you can make better.

Remember, the light shines deep within…never cease to seek or give it.

Climate change is making life worse, way more quickly than I thought it would. I thought we all had at least a couple more decades of "regular" life, but now it looks like things will go irreversibly haywire by the end of the decade - maybe even by 2025. Aging itself doesn't scare me, dealing with a society in chaos while getting older is terrifying.

[quote]One thing people here who are critical of plastic surgery are not realizing. For every person who looks like a freak from procedures, there are a few others who have had subtle work done and you cant notice

I think you overestimate the normality and prevalence of plastic surgery in men. In Buenos Aires? Sao Paolo? Miami? LA? Sure. But on Data Lounge, what segment of the Dollar Store Pound Cakers do you think are having their saggy faces sculpted to look young and vital?

For those of us in cities without kids, it's often hard to remember to act our age, especially in a culture that puts such a premium on youth.

People here have discussed cosmetic surgeries ad nauseam and I think many people realize now that 1) surgeries can go awry and make many people look freaky; 2) some people become surgery addicts and look freaky; 3) "liquid facelifts" using fillers and Botox in particular can make people look like accident victims/infected after many years of ongoing procedures; and 4) old-fashioned invasive, risky, brutal facelifts can have really impressive results, especially as years go by afterward. A person with a full facelift at 50 might look a little strange for three or four years, and then 10 to 15 years down the line almost certainly will be told by a lot of people that they look incredible for their ages—IF they don't make themselves look like freaks with injectables and bad eyelid surgeries and lip implants. They can create dignified-looking older Joan Crawfords and Dixie Carters who don't try to look 30 at 55, and newer interventions can create Nicole Kidmans and Renée Zellwegers.

It’s best to start having some small work done early, somewhere in your 30s, for best long-term results.

I second what R141 says! Everyone tells me I don't look a day over 22!

What she said 👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻!

Subtlety is they key to aging gracefully.

People are surprised that, as a former model, I've embraced aging naturally. I'd never let a scalpel or a needle touch what God gave me.

[quote] One thing people here who are critical of plastic surgery are not realizing. For every person who looks like a freak from procedures, there are a few others who have had subtle work done and you cant notice.... It's really just the new fat under my chin. It's so unsightly.

That's the trap so many queens fall into though. I know a gay couple that both had "light" face lifts so it wouldn't be obvious. The problem is they are both on the chunky side of the scale. So after all that money and work done, they still look fat. The thing that turns off gay men the most. More so than a few age lines.

[quote] dealing with a society in chaos while getting older is terrifying

MARY!

The ellipse machine was a breeze at 59. At 63 it’s neigh on impossible. We go downhill fast.

Why do we have to age? What's the point of it?

R149 It makes dying a relief for many instead of a tragedy, and we have to die.

WW R150

R148- Maybe you should take up swimming.

R152). Thanks for the tip. Hopefully the water will add buoyancy and I still have enough arm strength to complete a swim stroke.

Don't confuse how one looks with aging. I have really good skin, and only a few gray hairs. Pushing 70, and until about 65 I was in pretty good shape. The physical changes since then are marked. I have developed glaucoma, and am pre diabetic. Arthritis has morphed from a pang here and there when it rains to a real concern. I find myself taking a morning inventory before embarking on the day's plan. Sometimes I change it, realizing that I am not up for it. The task of aging is to learn to accept, while trying to maintain as active a mental and physical life as possible. I see how friends a few years older are doing, and it is not comforting.

One of the most depressing thing about the pandemic is waiting it out. I am vaxxed and boosted, very prudent about exposure. It is one thing to wait out covid in your thirties or forties, still many long years ahead. These are my good years, when I might still travel, and enjoy being retired. I don't have a few years to waste. The human condition.

It’s not such a good thing to wait out Covid in your younger years, R154, if you’re not yet coupled-up and/or are thinking of having children.

Dear r29 please come back when you 54 and can tell us you look under 30.....

So much fucking work just to maintain your looks. I did everything possible - Botox, a little bit of filler, gym, diet, little bit of hair color. I had it all figured out. Covid hit and I thought "What the hell?" I stopped doing everything. I liked good for 6 months but currently Ive hit the fucking wall. I'm goin back in January. I hate to say it, but everything I did really made me look younger and more attractive. I did look younger and 100% looked more handsome. Im vain and to be honest, I think looking good is better for my mental state of mind.

"It is one thing to wait out covid in your thirties or forties, still many long years ahead. These are my good years, when I might still travel, and enjoy being retired. I don't have a few years to waste."

^^This.

I put off a trip in 2020 due to Covid. I took a trip this summer, but it didn't go as well as expected. I had plans for this spring, but I just broke my shoulder, among other injuries (details in another thread), and I don't know how well I'll be feeling by March.

Waiting to do things is harder when you know you only have a few good years left -- that is, if you're lucky.

A poor fat aging gay man that's 36 sleeps along. A rich thin gay man with tons of plastic surgery that's 64 is getting dozens of dick. It has nothing to do with age - it's other factors like weight, whether you're handsome, whether your voice is straight sounding enough...

People need to make a fucking effort to deal with aging.

R113 -yes, in my experience it beats spending endless $$ on other non-surgical options. It works wonders. I got the lower jaw and chin lipo and a neck lift in my late 50s. It's been over 6 years and I still have a crisp jawline and not any sagging underneath the chin. I'm sure it's not a permanent fix, but I'll do it again in a New York minute. My jawline went from square and saggy/droopy to streamlined and refined.

[quote] It is one thing to wait out covid in your thirties or forties, still many long years ahead.

I disagree. Those of us in our 30's and 40's should be living life. Life doesn't stop for anyone and after reading this thread, whether you look it or not, it seems like men start having issues of some kind in their early to mid 50's. Older gay men often lament that they didn't realize they were hot until much older or wasted their youth. You might be able to travel in your 50's plus, but 30's/40's is when you can travel, (knock on wood) are healthy, vibrant, and still have the last of your looks. Especially in your 40's, you don't want to waste a drop of warning youth and vitality.

R127 Yes, that was my experience too. The lower/neck lift helped with the chin issue, but I did have jowly areas starting that they used lipo to remove.

Science has proven that the average cell in your body can only reproduce about 50 times. Of course some more some less. So once that is done, aging really takes over. There's nothing you can do about your skin no matter how many creams and lotions you put on it. Eventually it will creapy. Same with the rest of your organs. So every time you get that face dermobraised or a layer removed all you are doing is speeding up the process in the end.

I cuss out oil of Olay jars

[quote]Are you dealing with it gracefully?

In my toe shoes, OP, you coot.

[quote]There's nothing you can do about your skin no matter how many creams and lotions you put on it.

That isn't quite true. While it's true that there's nothing you can do topically about collagen loss or deep muscle folds like ventriloquist lines, there are ingredients in skin care that help improve your skin both short and long term. Rosehip oil reduces acne marks; mild chemical peels can smooth out icepick scars and minor fine lines; retinoids are clinically proven to reduce and prevent fine lines, acne and surface wrinkles, and many topicals can do things like even out your skin tone, reduce or prevent age spots, tackle imperfections like blackheads and texture, look more hydrated/dewy, and give the appearance of smaller pores (the pores themselves don't shrink, but ingredients like niacinamide can have an effect on oil production and make them appear smaller/more even). And, of course, daily application of sunscreen can have a huge effect on your skin. You don't have to spend a shitload on expensive creams - just identify a skin concern and read up on what's got science behind it for helping it.

Not very well, OP.

R168- How old are you?

Interesting to bring up how Covid affects aging. I used to think the old had it worst - losing their last years of life. But now think it’s worse for the young, they need to be out enjoying life. I have lived it and am ok staying home. Youth is when you need to love life - us olds have had a lot already.

If all those creams and topical things worked, then you would see people in their 90's that look like 20. Everyone gets old and no matter how much money you spend on face products, you can not stop the process. At best you can slightly slow it down just a tiny bit with decades of work and thousands of dollars. But not really noticeable in the big scheme of thing, you will still look old.

[quote] Everyone gets old

Well no, not everyone. Plenty die quite young every day.

R171- Wrong

Jackie Stallone lived to 98 years old and she did NOT look like a little old lady.

She was 92 years old in this photo!

I eat well, work hard to stay fit, well dressed, and groomed, active with friends including new ones, play tennis, ski, try to live for the day, keep up to date on all medical checks, and count my blessings. And it’s still hard.

R174 - How old are you Charlie?

I work my ASS off to keep the weight off and I walk seven days a week and I do sit ups and lift weights and eat a very healthful diet ( until Christmas day- I will feast then get back on the wagon after the holidays) - it's a LOT of FUCKIN work.

When your brain is 33 but your body is 63. The body wins. Old age is a shipwreck.

Aging is 90% genetics. Declined fillers. I like to recognize the person in the mirror.

[quote] Aging is 90% genetics.

Bingo

And here's the thing with Botox and plastic surgery and even 70 year olds with dyed hair:

[bold]You are not fooling anyone. No one only sees your face.[/bold]

The rest of your body, the saggy arms, bony wrists and hands--we see that too and we know you are just a 70 year old with plastic surgery, hair dye and botox.

Circling back to R177's comment about genetics -- my parents are in their late 60s now. It is striking how some of their same-age friends look ancient and others still look like they're in late middle age. Genetics helped along by healthy living and keeping weight down, but mostly genetics.

[quote] You are not fooling anyone.

Has it ever occurred to you that such people are primarily trying to fool themselves? To feel a little better about themselves?

Is that why you do it R179?

I’ll be 40 next year. I’m Black, so that helps. I just started T, which helps a lot but I’ve got to get used to the hormonal changes. Insane Horniness, etc. but I notice definition coming and fat burning easier.

I work out like a crazy person, so that’s not gonna be a problem. I’m mistaken for late 20’s, early 30’s all the time.

I’m a handsome guy and work in TV, but I was never the young beautiful dude which I think makes aging easier. I know people who were beautiful in their early 20’s and let themselves go to shit and they have a tougher time with it.

Also doesn’t hurt that if you’re pushing 40 and take even the least bit of care of yourself and work out, the youngins are ALL OVER YOU. it’s the circle of Daddy life I guess.

All in all, I’m more concerned with finances than anything else. I want to be fit, healthy, and strong but I’m not concerned with the frivolous side of looking “young.”

And I’m trying to wait until 45 before I do a damn thing to my face. I don’t think I need any of it yet.

[quote] Declined fillers. I like to recognize the person in the mirror.

Since I was 57, I've done annual fillers in my nasolabial folds (only). About just $350 a pop. Very subtle work, so. I have no trouble recognizing myself, R177. And no, R180, I'm not talking about myself.

Not well, I suppose. When I look in the mirror I see the changes around my eyes and jawline and I don't like it. But I'm glad I don't have money to burn or else I'd end up looking like an alien.

Hey Charlie: have you read your Duke of Windsor recollection that's printed in the new book Traitor King? You should reach out to the author through his Twitter account, or agent, or publisher.

R181 = Jussie Smollett

[quote] But I'm glad I don't have money to burn or else I'd end up looking like an alien.

Again, someone who thinks the exceptions are the rules.

^^rule

[quote] I’ll be 40 next year. I

[quote] I’m mistaken for late 20’s, early 30’s all the time.

Yes R181!

You are a Datalounger!

Congratulations!!!!!

I don't much care. I was ugly when I was young - I'm ugly now. I'm fortunate enough to be tall, and that is half the battle for a man right there.

Stand up straight, speak clearly and politely and dress appropriately. People will think you look great no matter what other shape you're in.

R173: sorry to break it you. That isn't Jackie Stallone. It's the mother of the producer of The Expendables, where it was taken at the premiere. Jackie, adorable and eccentric as she was, looked like shit.

[quote] Jackie Stallone lived to 98 years old and she did NOT look like a little old lady.

Of course she didn't look like a little old lady. She had a half inch of plaster on her face at any time, jet black dyed hair with extensions and/or wigs, fake teeth, and God only knows how many face & body lifts that old hag had done. I hear tell by the end when she'd have a bikini wax they'd have shave her chin.

Trust me, without all that war paint I can GUARANDAMNTEE you she looked every bit an old 98 year old granny. Actually she probably looked a lot worse than most 98 year old grannies.

Here's Jackie at 92 out and about with minimal makeup on. That would frighten most small children.

I hate it! Last week I went to an event of 500 contemporaries and I couldn’t wait to run out of that room. So much bad cosmetic work. I also tried to go on three dates with men of my age and forced myself to try sex with one , which was a disaster. I think I need to pad my wallet more and look forward to a life of Daddy and son relationships, ugh !

Not well, bitch.

R88, look into micro dosing mushrooms 🍄

I'm dealing with it just fine. Age was never a big deal in my family. It helps that we generally look younger than our ages. I'm fine being guessed 5-7 years younger than I am. My hair stylist just mentioned to me the other day that I have very few lines on my face and she's surprised I'm approaching my mid-50s. My gray hair gives away that I'm older.

I like my career for the most part (nothing is perfect), I'm happily partnered to a man I really love, and I have good friends and family I stay in touch with. My partner and I have been together almost nine years. He's late 50s, I'm almost mid-50s, yet we still have sex 4-5 times per week. That spark is still there. All in all, I feel really lucky.

I'll never have work done on my face. I think when it comes to plastic surgery, there is an inevitable reckoning when it shows if you've had too much work done. I remember being at a gay bar when I was in my late 30s. There were two older guys there in their late 50s. One had clearly had plastic surgery. He had a shiny face and it looked pulled too tight. He also had colored his hair and it didn't look natural. Another guy was gray haired, had some character lines on his face and looked ruggedly handsome. The gray haired guy with lines on his face was getting lots of attention while shiny face got none. I never forgot that.

I think your 50s and early 60s are probably your last shot at looking younger. My mother always looked 10 years younger than her age. She did color her hair which helped, but her face had hardly any wrinkles. When she got in her 70s, her skin got crepey and she got age spots. At some point, age wins. It's natural and it's not worth freaking out over it.

Angela: Look at you! Look at how you looked.

Patty: Yeah, well…that was then. This now.

Angela: But look at you. So, did you love being pretty?

Patty: I don’t know… I don’t think I ever really let myself know I was. I was always really careful not to seem stuck up or Bain or confident… I look at a picture like that and I see—my god, I was pretty. I was so pretty. I was so pretty. I just wish that I had been able to enjoy it. That’s all I want for you—to enjoy what you really are.

Angela (V.O.): Sometimes it seems like we're all living in some kind of prison, and the crime is how much we hate ourselves. It's good to get dressed up once in a while and admit the truth: That when you really look closely, people are so strange and complicated that they're actually ... beautiful. Possibly even me.

Age spots can be lasered away. I have a colleague in his 60s who did it and he looks much better.

You Americans are silly. One is in mid 30s, losing his looks and drinking organic juices, the other is pushing 40 and taking T, some using fillers and botox, while Balkanic men proclaimed that men are still young and in their prime at 50.

pushing 40-

That belongs on the expressions I HATE thread

[quote]If all those creams and topical things worked, then you would see people in their 90's that look like 20.

Well, they would have, if they had used appropriate topicals in their youth, but they didn't until it was too late to affect much cosmetic change.

Sunscreen was invented in the late 1930s, but it didn't become fashionable and widespread in the western world until the late 80s/early 90s. This is when I came of age and started using a moisturizer with sunscreen every day in my 20s and later a sunscreen over my moisturizer. I'm now nearly 50 and have no age spots anywhere where my mother and father both did by their early 40s and both have subsequently been treated for skin cancer in their 50s and 60s on their faces and shoulders/necks.

Sun damage takes 20-30 years to become visible to the naked eye and turn cancerous. It was all the rage to be VERY tan in the 50s, 60s and 70s among white Westerners. This is partly why so many Generation X actors look so much naturally younger than their older counterparts who baked themselves on the beach for years with no sun protection.

This is also why Asian women look firm and unwrinkled - they're fanatical about avoiding getting ANY sun.

Wear sunscreen every single day, bitches.

My mother used to rub her body with crisco before sunbathing.

We are not in Balkans, R198! One is near WeHo where one must drink organic green juices, go to the gym 5-6 times a week, and have a big thick cock ALONG with a practically virgin, yet perfectly serviceable hole while looking forever 35.

R202- NOT everyone is a bottom.

R201, She must have attracted every flying insect within a mile.

That's VERS bottom, R203, thank you very much

R201 mine too - she purposely burned herself until she blistered because of the deep tan it would leave behind. She did this for years with all her friends who all also drank and smoke. All her friends that are still alive have all had skin cancer and are covered in age spots.

WTF R173 is that supposed to be a joke? She looks terrible and freaky with the plastic surgery on top. If you think that looks good you are already on that road drunk on nip and tucking or you need your head examined.

The only older person I know who has good skin is my boss who is 62. Strangers actually will comment to her about it, seen it happen. Her secret isnt magical creams or even sun block. It's no sun EVERY. She lives in a beautiful penthouse but he has black out drapes even in the living room shut almost all the way. She uses a sun umbrellas if she has to walk the dog for 15 minutes. The key is this, when she was young, she never liked the sun, she never went to the beach or lake to tan, never went to a tanning booth, never ever had a sun burn. This was in her teens when everyone typically wants to look tan. I think if you wait until your 20's the damage is already done, it just wont show until later.

[quote] Last week I saw a new doctor for the first time, and without looking at my chart he casually described me as a decade younger. I had to correct him.

R94 - You Are Officially A DLer!!!

Congratulations!!!!

[Seriously, it is so sad and such a reflection on the attitude of so many gay men that this sort of thing isn't just a one-off DL joke, but fairly constant on here. And yes, there are people who do look a decade younger. They just don't feel compelled to post about it on an anonymous message board.]

The Skin Thing Again

As if having "good skin" could somehow make up for being fat, bald and ugly.

And even if you were beautiful, who'd want to spend their life living like the crazy woman described at R208?

I merely want to look like a rested, “well” healthy version of myself. I don’t want a creepy doll-face (by that I mean a feminized, smooth pink face like some guys have from laser resurfacing). I did have some hyperpigmentation, but got a tube of cream from my dermatologist that really lightened these spots, but very gently without and redness or burning. I take really good care of my teeth and wear age appropriate clothing that fits properly. No plaids or pleats, and no flashily athleisure wear. That doesn’t fool anyone.

Sylvester Stallone has had a TON of work on his face. In 1976 he was kinda cute. Today he looks like a MONSTER.

Even just ignoring the decline in physical appearance, there is nothing good about aging except for one thing. If you have been careful with money, that is less of a worry. The irony is that you don’t have the energy to go out and enjoy that freedom. The wisdom of age trope is not real. You have no greater wisdom of much real use in our current world. If you are blessed with reasonable mobility, eyesight and hearing, you should just be grateful for that.

R213- I'm still watching tv on the Sony Wega 20 inch I bought at The Wiz in November 2000 and I'm still driving my 2009 Volkwagen Rabbit I bought in 2009. I'm not poor.

When you live with chronic pain, worrying about your appearance is less important.

R215- What type of pain do you have?

Whatever brings me closer to death is fine with me.

Agree R215. Having gone through the first intense back pain that would not go away at 52, I am just looking to NOT be in pain. I have almost zero interest in looks - and honestly never understood the superficiality of women and gay men who prioritize looking “young”. Life is about so much more and the valuable things in life have nothing to do with looks. If at 50 - hell, 40 - looks are still your priority, you need to read some books on self esteem.

"It's almost an advantage to be average looking"

R214, can you get digital broadcast stations on a 2000 TV set? TV sets are pretty cheap and newer ones can pick up the broadcast channels for free with an antenna. And I don’t remember the last time I saw a Rabbit. Cut loose a bit.

Must agree about updating a TV. Good TV technology has become more affordable, with far better screen resolution and streaming capability.

How deep/wide is your 2000 vintage TV set? It's probably as big as a refrigerator.

Points for the shout out to The Wiz, at least.

R215 here, I've had chronic digestive issues for years. Also at age 68, I'm a little stiff when walking and half t watch where I step. Also have been dealing with insomnia since age 60. Stopped worrying about my looks sincemy late 50s.

R 220 and R221- It's very bulky. Its' a 20 inch tv, I believe. I paid $349 in November 2000. I'm very weird. In December 2007 I bought a replacement tv for this one. It's a Panasonic TC-32LX700. I never used it. It's still sitting in the carton unwrapped since then. I've never used it and it's a fourteen year old tv that must be out of date already.

[quote] If at 50 - hell, 40 - looks are still your priority, you need to read some books on self esteem.

People who care about their appearance are more likely to eat healthily & workout, both helping to stave off some of the physical effects of normal aging.

Because for gay men, HAWTNESS is forever.

R222 you sound very much like me with the back and digestive issues. I'm also 68 and have suffered with serious digestive issues for 35 years, as did my father. I took care of mine 30 years ago by giving up meat. I can eat small amounts of fish, but I don't touch meat of any kind. It's made all the difference in the world.

R223 sounds like a weird horder. Who buys something like a TV and lets it sit in a box for 14 years?

I found a social group of elder gays in my city. They have saved my lonely life. No one cares about age or looks. We do a lot of social things as a group and check in on each other. I’d recommend that as a supplement, it’s fun and it has changed my outlook on aging.

R228- What you're saying is- you've founded a GAY Golden Girls group.

28-year-old well-built daddy-chaser here. All the daddies who hate your looks will be appreciated here, double-chin, beer belly, wrinkled face...Please send yourself to me.

add-up on R230. Don't waste money on Botox or even gyms. I like how you look now. Plastic surgery makes you look unnaturally and reduce your sexual appeal other than make yourself feel good. Save the money and take me on gaycation.

R230 = fictional character designed to satisfy Eldergay fantasies.

R230 - and he's only $250 an hour

OK...truth here. I am 72, gym 5 days per week, weight steady, low fat, mini-lift, eyes, some minimal fillers, testosterone. Some aches and pains, but all in all, pretty good. Been married to my husband 21 years, still have sex (not as often, but really good when we do). I have been lucky to find a cosmetic surgeon who is also an artist, who uses minimal change so I do not look like a freak. Honestly, I think being happily married really helps.

Well-built Daddy chaser here. Can speak fluent Japanese, English, Chinese, and is learning Spanish, currently seeking my PhD degree in U.S . Genuinely fall for daddy type. Could offer you oriental massage every night, which works better than skin lift and proves effective for your daily ache and pain. Love your silver hair, beer belly, wrinkled face...Lost my parents when I was young. Would like to be your dedicated son and become attached to your for life. Never walk out on you and won't be liability for your life also. Rich retirees please step to the front line. No fictional character, mean every word I said.

R235- I'm interested. How much $ do you charge?

r236 you made me LOL!

"I have been lucky to find a cosmetic surgeon who is also an artist,"

How did you find yours? Here in NYC, there are SO many and you cant trust reviews. I have no one in my immediate circle who could give me a reco.

r238 I live in Fort Lauderdale and looked at the work of 20+ surgeons, and his work was by far the most natural. I was also impressed that when I met with him, he suggested the minimal work that would achieve what I wanted, not the most expensive. He's Harvard and Stanford trained, so that helps, and has been a surgeon for 30+ years. He's a stickler for revisits (at no extra charge) but he's proud of his work. Yes, it was a bit of research, but well worth it.

R236 Very low and nominal, and it never goes up with the inflation. Being a daddy-chaser, a time-seasoned daddy is its own rewards and blessing. whoever is interested can contact me through paul57662@yahoo.com. Let's communicate, talk and meet with no strings attached. All snarky DLers, I like reading your witty comments and know you are all very decent people in real life. So don't PM me if you don't mean it.

Thanks for responding r239. Gives me a great set of criteria to look out for while doing my research.

r241 One more thing: look for a doctor who has an operating room in his office; otherwise, hospital costs are outrageous.

I'm not sure I understand the differences between:

Meh, I don't care

Neutral. I don't hate it, I don't love it.

These seem to be the same thing.

R243- I don’t think MEH is neutral. It implies something is mediocre.

For instance FRIENDS was a mediocre show - Meh

While I’m neutral about a guy with 💪. I can take it or leave it.

There's a difference between I don't care and looking natural. Being natural doesn't mean not taking care of yourself. I don't care implies you also don't take good care of yourself.

Some of the best looking older men who have not had plastic surgery look their but healthy some how. Others just really don't care and look like a truck ran over their face. Then of course the plastic surgery queens who you can always tell think they look 20 years younger than they do. They look the oddest to me.

Yes, Dear, we have heard it a million times." Oh not my plastic surgery, I researched it, no one can tell, I get complements all the time, it's just a little eye lift, neck lift, fillers, skin peel, mini lift, lypo lunch. But no one can tell." At least that's what I keep telling myself.

Honestly, I'm coming to terms fairly well. I started losing my hair in my mid to late 20s, and there was no rhyme or reason---and the thinning spots I just ignored. I was quietly furious, but you deal. Because of the pandemic, I just stopped getting my haircut, shave my head and let the beard grow out. Over the year, my beard has gone snow white, while I only had a bit of gray in my hair. My bf jokes that I am Santa's sexier younger brother. Being tall and reasonably in shape and being fed a mostly plant-based diet (his idea) has likely helped too, I was at the local grocery store the other day, masked---but the white beard was still visible. The register twink was like, do you want your senior discount? Hellz yeah, I do. (But also, slow your roll, Kyler. I have 6 months until 50.)

Lol, r246. I was talking to an older man at work a few weeks ago, and told him that I was born in 1971. He said “Wow, you look great for 71”!

While I was shopping, a fortysomething (?) employee called me a "young man". At 64, I haven't taken my mask off since!

R247 that's hilarious and reminds me of the time I took my little nieces out for some holiday shopping about 10 years ago right after I had decided to stop dying my very prematurely all-gray hair. A 20something waiter told me I was "the youngest looking grandpa he'd ever seen!" I was 31 at the time. Hit up the salon to dye it back the next day.

r245 English, please ... "Some of the best looking older men who have not had plastic surgery look their but healthy some how."

How much do dermal fillers cost from a really great surgeon? And how much cock do I have to suck to get filled and pumped up with the good stuff?

If people start wincing when they look at me I'll consider plastic surgery. Otherwise I will continue to grow old as nature intended.

To sum up this thread:

My neck, my back, my pussy, and my crack!

I'm not happy that all of a sudden I'm getting a lot of 'Sir.'

[quote]How much do dermal fillers cost from a really great surgeon?

Usually under $1000 for one area of your face. But you'll have to go back every year or so, and it'll start to wear off halfway through that time.

A big reason Hollywood people look monstrous is because they get touch ups on top of touch ups because they can't bear to see a single wrinkle.

Oh, Damn, R247. I was about to turn to the woman behind me and tell her how good it was that this store was hiring the visually impaired. But, I was too busy texting people that I got my first senior discount and laughing about it.

R251, see R182.

I wish I could find a Dr like the one at r182. I have called every med spa and plastic surgeon in my city. No one will let you buy 1/3 or 1/2 vial of filler. Everyone tells me to buy the entire thing and they will find a place to put it. One really handsome doctor is offering buy one vial get one free. WTF am I going to do with two vials of filler?

R258, I've been going to a dermatologist, not a plastic surgeon, if that makes a difference.

R258- You sound like an OVER THE HILL FRAU

Tom Moore… example of a handsome older man.

Another shot of Tom, looking older but distinctive. Still extremely attractive.

I got really depressed watching 'House of Gucci" this afternoon because both Jeremy Irons and Al Pacino seem to have developed hideous dark skin growths on their faces and necks in their old ages.

Those over grown animals he is using as eyebrows look freaky R261. Seriously, they are bigger than his porn stash. I would not use that as an example of a handsome older man.

R261 and R262, he looks like every other old man alive, nothing "handsome" about him...why are men so deluded about their looks??? Even gay guys it seems

R265 says you

R266= Tom Moore or another homely old man

I use bioeffect moisturizer, serum and eye serum

Plastic surgery

Miss R268--often mistaken for 79 yo rather than her real age.

Bioeffect is real science for ethical skincare. It’s very effective hence the name.

[quote]Bioeffect is real science for ethical skincare. It’s very effective hence the name.

It's all smoke and mirrors and a bit of delusion.

You are wrong, wrong I say. My magical unicorn serum made for the sperm of baby hairless kitten will keep me looking like I am 20 years old even when I am 80. I will post a pick when I get to that age, you will see. I have the secret even science doesn't know about.

I swear by a wonderful Chinese unguent I get locally called Cream Of Sum Yung Gy. Such a soothing balm.

Not by creams, lotions, and unguents. Not by a weekly booking with the colorist nor a semi-annual "touch-up"/refill at the dermatogist' or the surgeon's. Not by moisturizing my skin until its entire surface glistens like the skin pulled taut on a ballsac. Not by shielding myself from even a momentary ray of sun upon my skin. Not by keeping my "iconic" haircut from when I was a big star (or could at least get a fuck easily.) Not by spending half a day at the gym. And not by hiding my head in the sand and insisting everything went to shit after I could no longer pull on my pulling jeans.

Fucking hell, the years have taught not a few of you nothing.

But by sheer force of your winning personality, R275.

I am 55 and after two years of staring at my face on Zoom calls, I am getting self conscious about the deepening lines going down the sides of my mouth and the crease developing between my eyebrows (my dad has them too but he's 84) and the increasing number of tiny lines developing along my upper lip (my mom has those, neither of us ever smoked). I don't really have a skincare regime. I use Kheil's facial fuel and wear sunscreen when going outside. Will skincare products help these problems or is it too late and I have to get Botox or fillers to get rid of them? I tried growing out my beard to cover the mouth lines but don't like facial hair and can't get away with scruff for work.

My hair is still good though, minimal gray so far, wouldn't even characterize it as salt and pepper yet. My eyebrows are another story though. I get wiry gray hairs that I pull out and some of my eyebrow hairs are shaped like boomerangs.

I'm pushing 61. As a daddy in pretty good shape, I'm extremely lucky to get attention from younger guys, and, as happens, it dwindles from month to month. If I don't stay in physical good shape--I think true of any of us daddies--we can say sayonara to any chances of hooking up with younger guys if that's what some of us are after. (This is DL, so many of us are.)

I've used Clinique soap for over thirty years. If it's helped, I'm not sure, but I like the product. For about a year, I've used Cera Ve face moisturizer, and, recently, Cera Ve for just under the eyes where I'm seeing lots of aging. On my social media feeds, I find myself becoming seduced by "Particle." Anyone here used it? Thoughts?

My hair is salt and pepper, and I hate it because the grey is settled in all the wrong areas. I don't have a lot of hair left, so I have a barber buzz it every two weeks, keeping the parts that still grow heavily as long as I can before it looks like a mad scientist. I wish I could dye all of my existing hair grey or silver. I'm afraid it would be a train wreck, though. Thoughts?

I’m ready to die. I’ve done everything I wanted; now I’m simply going through the motions. Problem is I did everything early, and now I’m only 52 and healthy. Running out the clock is no fun when you’ve got 20 more years. I despise young people and the new electronic age. I know I should “get with the times” but I feel it would be so forced and fake.

R278- I think what helps one have good skin is not the type of soap one uses - I use Dove soap- many years ago a dermatologist told me to use it. I like it. Once in a while I would buy one of those natural soap bars at Trader Joe's but they leech the oils from my skin and dry it out.

Don't smoke , don't drink and don't take drugs- the first two especially age the skin. Consumer Reports says that a diet that's high in fruits and vegetables and little processed food is also good for the skin- I eat a lot of plant foods - those plus nuts , seed, legumes and whole grains.

[quote] I’ve done everything I wanted

You have unrealistic expectations. You need to find a way to be happy living a peaceful, quiet life. If you actually feel you're ready to die simply because you feel you've done everything you wanted then you are clinically depressed and need to seek help. You're still a relatively young man. You say you're healthy. Yet you want to die because of something so silly? Maybe you need to do some volunteer work with the terminally ill because you clearly need to be slapped back into reality. You don't even know how good you've got it.

[quote] I'm not happy that all of a sudden I'm getting a lot of 'Sir.'

Wait until you go South of the border and they start calling you "abuelo" everywhere you go.

I had some sun damage, at 55, and had some of it layered off. It hurts (like a rubber band snapping on your face). I really hated the layering pretreatment (they wash your face with acetone, and it leaves your skin like sandpaper after). They recommended three sessions, yet I stopped at one. After a session, the lasered spots turn very dark and look like pepper on the surface of your skin.

I asked for another option, and my dermatologist prescribed a quinine cream that is surprisingly effective. She told me to use a retinol cream on top of the quinine cream, and the combination works well. It really “brightens” and evens out the skin. I use a serum from a company called Laroche Possey. It’s not expensive and feels “lighter” on the surface of my skin than anything else I have tried.

"My hair is salt and pepper, and I hate it because the grey is settled in all the wrong areas. "

Ugh same here. Im fine with salt and pepper ...but a swatch of my salt is on the left side of my crown, and it looks like I'm just bald there until you get up close to me and see it's just a color that looks transparent from afar. I fucking HATE it.

In a lot of ways, guys are lucky. A rugged, aging face can be considered super-hot. It's when a guy who is clearly older has that moist sheen in their face from too many products that looks crazy weird. (aside from surgery face).

This boldify powder is great for touching up grey or thin areas in your hair. It looks really natural too.

I'm saving and bottling my "old man smell" to sell on Ebay.

I'm in my mid 60s and my face is falling. Facelifts on men look frightening like a Frankenstein monster so that's out. Even guys I know who were pretty cute when younger now look like all the other men their age.

Nothing to do but take advantage of senior discounts which if the truth be told is cold comfort.

By the time you are well into your 60s you can keep busy but you are no longer a participant in life. You are an onlooker.

It doesn't have to be R288. Look at Dr Anthony Fauci, he's 80 something, sharp as a tack, works every day, cutting edge of medicine, high responsibility etc. I would say he is not just some onlooker.

Yes, but is he still HAWT R289?

R290 Fauci is actually attractive, in my opinion. I had NO IDEA he was 80. Wow R289 is that truly his age?

Being hot is not about quality of life . Being active and sharp minded is

R291- He's 81 years old.

Orgasim several times a week

At 63 I've realized that if you don't have your health you don't have anything.

At 63 you know there was a commercial on TV decades ago that was played a lot with people in their 60s who said that same thing. Don't remember what it was for.

Fauci is is 80? What work did he do on his face? fillers?

I'm turning 60 tomorrow. (Happy Birthday to Me.) I have some chronic conditions that are usually seen in older people. My stressful lifestyle and family genetics finally caught up with me and I went on high blood pressure and cholesterol meds this year. A bonus of that experience is that I dropped the Covid weight gain and am actually thinner than I've been in a while. Hope I can keep that.

I used to be in decent shape, but that has slipped. I need to find the yogi that I once was. I'd love to get a treadmill for just walking more, but I don't think the downstairs neighbor (apartment) would appreciate that.

Happy Birthday!

Also with advanced age, your bones and joints start to hurt when you try to do too much. They really let you down.

Frankly, R299, my bones and joints start to hurt when I try to do pretty much anything lately. I slipped on a patch of ice the other day, and while I didn't fall, I did a bit of a dance to stay upright. I'm a pile of ache right now.

To answer the earlier question, Covid has kept me out of the salon, so I'm now embracing my gray hair. I figure by the time you're 60, it's OK to be gray.

As far as how I'm dealing with it all .... it's better than the alternative. Heck, my brother's wife got a terminal cancer diagnosis for Christmas and has gone on hospice. It's all relative.

Thanks R299 for the birthday wishes. I'll gladly accept all the birthdays I can get.

Still not going to your salon, R300?! I've been back since the summer of '20.

I've been back for cuts R301, just not color. (should have specified that. Sorry)

R298- You had to start taking blood pressure medication- BIG DEAL. I've been on blood pressure medication since I was 40. That was the summer of 2006.

I never miss my weekly visit to the salon for a wash & set. And once a month, a blue rinse.

So becoming.

I'm in my mid 60s and started on high blood pressure medication a couple of years ago and recently on high cholesterol. Keeping out of the gym and covid weight where out of depression I was eating anything I wanted to played quite a number on me. Have started recently losing the weight after changing my diet, no holiday food for me, so I'm hoping my next blood test shows improved results. So far not many aches and pains but it's been a while since I really exercised. Losing weight(slowly) on change of diet alone. I had aches and pains from running when I was in my 20s. I cut that out pretty quickly when they started appearing.

Just diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. At 62 you can't eat like you are 22.

R306 I was diagnosed at 60, 6.6 A1C. I was prescribed metformin 500mg 3x daily. It took a while for me to figure out a plan I could live with.. So I just eliminated the carb rich foods and get my allotted grams from veggies, nuts, and beans, avacados, hummus, whole grains.

I know you didn't ask for it, but here is what I have done. It took me a couple of years of trying to figure out a plan. Counting carbs was a pain in the ass, and I found I used up all my carbs too quickly each day so I came up with a plan that didnt require carb counting.

I have learned to avoid white rice, white potatoes, all the usual carbs like pasta and bread, and sweets. I limit fruit to once a day in the morning with yogurt, or a small bowl , usually berries. Once or twice a week I have brown rice or a sweet potato, or a slice of Ezekiel bread. Occasional glass of wine. A rule is never to have two carbs at once (like brown rice and beans).

I like to make frittatas with veggies and a bit of cheese. A large one yields a few breakfast or lunches. Reheats easily.

Stick with lean proteins for dinner. . I have a salad before my main meal. I have learned to make asian dishes, which are stir fried in a little oil. more taste, less calories and carbs.

For snacks, hummus with veggies, nuts, small portion of hard cheese.

I am not one for the gym, but walk for 45 minutes most days. It is really helpful to break it up and walk after lunch and dinner. Helps process the glucose after eating.

After a few years of trial and error, I am down to one metformin tablet a day, and my A1C is between 5.4 and 5.7 depending on how well I follow this plan. I have lost about 12 pounds.

Good luck.

^R307 Thanks for the advice. Giving up bread will be hardest for me.

When I was diagnosed with Type 2 my doctor told me I could only eat everything in this picture.

R308. Not really. A couple of days without it and it will become easier. It is also easier if you love vegetables and can stuff yourself with those.

But to be honest you will always have a desire for bread. It will just become easier to resist.

I'm not yielding to it. What's the point of living a long time if you have numerous health problems you could have prevented if you'd had a little self-discipline? So the usual dietary restrictions, little alcohol, plenty of exercise, sunscreen. I also give careful attention to the state of my finances.

After the possibility of spending my sunset years disabled or in pain, or struggling financially, my biggest fear of being old is being discounted, not taken seriously, being treated as less than. To combat that I make a point of always being well-dressed and well-groomed and not tolerating rude or patronising behaviour.

So far, so good, but of course I know it could collapse any day. Wishing all of you the very best....

I made an appointment tomorrow for micro needling with platelet rich plasma. The before and afters look amazing.

We'll be the judge of that, R312. Please post before and after pics.

R67 I easily looked at least ten years younger than my age through about age 49, 50. Then 51 and the pandemic came and I look like I'm pressing 60. It's crazy.

Hey this is Black Millennial.

I’m happy to report that after a three week hiatus from alcohol, I look much better, and most of the facial fat loss I was concerned about has been reversed.

Further research I conducted has drawn a correlation between heavy drinking (more than 16 a week for men) and mid-face fat depletion.

So I am now completely adverse to alcohol and will never consume it again. Stop drinking alcohol, it is destroying your looks.

I have discovered that too, r315. It sucks, because I feel so boring now but will probably abstain for life because I’m vain AF.

Yep, abstaining from smoking & drinking, along with minimizing exposure to the sun & keeping your weight down are the best predictors of aging well.

R47- Some people look 80 at 47 years old- such as Roxane Gay

A lot of gay men and men in general deal with aging by getting a MUCH younger boyfriend/partner. I'm 56 years old and I would probably want someone younger than me but not dramatically younger- someone in their mid to late 40's would be fine- that doesn't sound to pathetic-does it?

[quote] I'm 56 years old and I would probably want someone younger than me but not dramatically younger- someone in their mid to late 40's would be fine- that doesn't sound to pathetic-does it?

it doesn't sound pathetic, but at 41, I'm worried that a partner at 56 would mean I would have to take care of their decline when I am 56 (a DL prime number) and they are 71 which is officially OLD. Find someone in their 50's.