In 1980 I was a naive, closeted freshman living in a dorm at UC Santa Cruz. On weekends, the largest lecture hall was turned into a movie theater where I first saw "The Graduate". This is where I learned the meaning of "Camp". When the lights went out for the film to begin, everyone lit up joints or bongs, which was so funny.
When Dustin Hoffman drove on the top deck of the Bay Bridge over to Berkeley, everyone yelled "Wrong way, wrong way!". I was sitting between my first major crush, an impossibly cute and wonderful guy from Anaheim and a brilliant girl from Newport Beach who thought that she and I were dating. Both were dorm mates from Orange County.
Kirk, who had "issues" and whose parents were worried that he might be gay (he was 'absolutely not gay') had a crush on Marcie, he said. It was the nerd love triangle from Hell. I'm a financial aid "scholar" from a shitty part of Oakland, but I had a car. My estranged biological father was an alcoholic who lived in Venice, but that's another story. I drove them down to OC for Spring Break, staying with Kirk's sterile Republican family. Marcie's parents were having a cocktail party out in Newport, to which we were invited. Kirk's parents basically forced us to go because they knew Kirk had a heterosexual crush on Marcie, who was so into me -- despite the fact that Kirk was the most beautiful specimen on the planet.
I did not know where the fuck I was. Tarzana? Everyone was so confident, rich, and White. Marcie's parents and their friends grilling us: "What's your major?" "What's your Future?" etc. I just said: "Plastics!". The booze was flowing. No one cared that we were only 18 or 19. It was 1980. Kirk told me that he liked me as a friend only, which was heartbreaking. I told Marcie that I thought I was gay and was in love with Kirk -- in front of her parents. Next thing I remember was fucking her uncle with butter as lube in the garage. It was messy. We showered in the pool house together. I did not know what a "pool house" was. Felt like the whole thing was planned or from a movie. Throughout the evening, I referred to The Uncle as "Mr. Robinson" because I felt that he was trying to seduce me, which he did. I think everyone knew, except for Kirk, with whom I had the most uncomfortable drive back to Anaheim after he found out. I slept on the floor next to his bed. He was bathed in Canoe cologne to hide the cigarette and weed smoke smell from his parents, which only made me want him more. Yeah, I know "Mary"!
Epilogue - I transferred to SF State U a year later after finally coming out. Marcie went to pharmacy school last I heard. No idea about Mr. Robinson, who seduced me. I continue to google stalk Kirk. He is/was an ER doc in Sacramento, is married with three kids, bald and haggard looking. My wonderful partner understands that I will never be over Kirk and that we have to talk about this shit at least every other year when we watch "The Graduate".