Tell us about a time a potential hookup rejected you after seeing you in person

Sad. Although thankfully this has never happened to me before, I’m sure it would now, as I am an old.

I sat in a bar, patiently waiting for him to arrive. He walked in, took one look at me, laughed loudly, and made his exit. I was crushed.

I was excited about my first threesome. I got to the apartment and two guys welcomed me in. One said “Im going to pass. What do you think, Bob?” “Me too. This won’t work.”

WTF! I looked just like my picture. Yea have no idea why I was rejected.

This guy contacted me online, he liked my profile and was really flirting a lot, saying how much he wanted to kiss me and stuff, and after a few weeks we arranged to meet up. We sat outside on a summer night and had some drinks, it was a Friday night I remember, and we talked for a while and eventually went to another bar across the street. I think like 3 hours had gone by and the whole point was that we met near his flat, etc., because we were going to hook up - y’know, it didn’t have to be hard core or anything but the intention was that we were always going to have a physical encounter.

So it’s about 22:30 and I say something to him like, “I really want to kiss you, should we head back to yours…?” And after talking to him for THREE HOURS he says, “I don’t think I want to do that anymore.” I just looked at him, got up and LEFT. Like I was just there to keep him company all night. I think it was more he was intimidated than rejecting me because I was a handsome, well groomed, muscled power lifter at the time and had my pick of men. What a time waster.

Their loss R3. Hookups used to be so fun in the 80's and 90's. Glad I'm old now

R4 not trolling you, but is it possible he just didn't like your personality? Did you talk about yourself a lot?

No, I don’t think so. Quite the opposite, I think.

The point is, whatever it was, I’d rather know after 10 mins. than 3 hours.

I met a guy once with the intention of hooking up. While we talked, I mentioned that I had dated a guy named Frank who lived in the same building.

His face soured as he said, “Oh, yes, Frank. He’s an asshole.” A few minutes later, he said, “sorry, Inahve to get to the gym, it was nice meeting you. Bye.”

I violated my own rule about not meeting someone I wasn't 100% sure about. He was very much physically my type, but didn't seem the nicest. It was semi-late at night. After ringing the bell, he answered and angrily chided me for ringing, because he had a roommate. He had messaged me about not ringing just seconds before I reached the door, and I hadn't noticed. Inside, I put the condom I brought on his night stand, then I touched his chest, and he reached down and felt up my semi-hard dick. He then said "I'm going to take a pass." (No, my dick isn't small.) I said okay, he said sorry, and I took my condom back. When I returned home I found out that he had blocked me. I then realized that I had taken the wrong condom, not mine but one of his. I didn't want to be reminded of him, so I threw it away.

What R5 said. I think there are a lot more assholes out there than in my salad days. COVID didn’t help.

R4- Near his flat, 22:30

You're not American, are you?

This was in the fall of 1991. I responded to someone's ad in the Village Voice Personals. I had sent him a photo. In those days you had to write a letter describing/ talking about yourself and enclose a photo - if you wanted to. You had to mail it to the Village Voice who would then forward it to the person who placed the ad. If I got a response at all it might take up to two weeks. This guy called me . He liked my photo and we met at Lunas in Little Italy. I was definitely a beggar back then even though I was only 26 years old. I took what I could get. Generally I would only reject someone if they were obese. He was a bit dumpy but no obese. I was relieved. We had nice conversation at dinner. Two or three days later I called him and he was TOTALLY COLD to me and NOT interested in getting together. He was definitely NOT out of my league. I was broken into a million pieces like Humpty Dumpty. It took me days to gather up the pieces and recover from that ordeal ( which was one of plenty back then). I'm not sure what hurt more back then- To be rejected by an AVERAGE looking person like this guy or to be rejected by a GOOD looking guy.

[Quote] I'm not sure what hurt more back then- To be rejected by an AVERAGE looking person like this guy or to be rejected by a GOOD looking guy.

It really stings if it’s an average looking guy. It really messes with your head

It's WAAAAYYY worse when you're rejected by an ugly/ average guy, r12.

It's really true that, no matter who you are, you're not going to be everybody's cup of tea. I remember eating at a restaurant with a female friend who's a real knockout, and she gave her phone number to the waiter, who was average looking and had nothing charming about him. I didn't know why my friend was bothering. He was....polite as he took her number, and he never called her.

You have to wonder if that's what they get off on: the thrill of rejecting people. The look of your humiliated dejection as he escorts you out. Particularly if they're horny and you look passably okay. A mouth is a mouth...

Curious why a gay guy in his 20s in the 1990s NYC would use Village Voice Personals when there were hundreds of places to meet men if not thousands of places and ways.

There are so very many many wallflowers and neverfucked or rarely fucked sad sacks on DL.

A really cute guy responded to my Manhunt profile. We chatted on and off for a week and we’re going to meet for coffee but it was very cold outside and he invited me to his place. We had a really nice chat and he mentioned he was having trouble relaxing. I offered to give him a massage and he said ‘I’m sorry but I don’t think this is going to work.’ I was very nice about it and awkwardly put on my coat and left. A year later he responded to my profile again. I sent him a nice note and told him we had met but he passed on taking it to the bedroom. He seemed shocked and wanted to meet again. This time I passed. Btw, my profile and pics were all accurate.

R17. I also used the Voice in the 90s for the same reason guys use apps rather than going to bars to meet people today. It’s a not always accurate screening process.

He sat with me for about 3 seconds at the bar and looked disgusted when he first laid eyes on me. And yeah, I was in excellent shape and felt really good about how I looked. Then he pretended to receive a call and promptly left. It still bothers me when I think about it, makes it feel pointless to even try again. The worst part was the bartender buying me a round bc he saw the whole thing. I know he was trying to be nice but it made me feel even worse.

Honey, I used the Voice in the late 70's and wound up with a great friend who eventually nearly killed himself in a gluttonous garbage dump of meth. We never had sex, but were inseparable until his move to L.A.

I was a long time member of a local online group. One of the guys on there was always posting to me and I gave him my phone number and he started asking to meet. I knew he dated younger guys and I told him that I was not his type. He kept asking me out and I told him I didn't do hook ups, I was looking for an exclusive relationship and I know he wasn't.

He told me he kept thinking about me and kept asking to meet and one night I finally gave in. I met him at the diner down the street and I could tell the minute he met me he was disappointed.

I felt bad because I couldn't help but hope we would be a match. But I told myself since we always had so much fun talking that at least he could be a friend.

But I found out that he was telling people he was not attracted to me at all and was not interested and was making fun of me. I ended up leaving the group because I was embarrassed and I miss the group. He was the one who kept pursuing me and I could kick myself that I met him in person. The ironic thing is I met my partner shortly after that and we have been together 12 years and are happy. But it still stings that I got burned.

It was fine he was not attracted to me but what hurt was when he was mocking me to others.

R17- I lived at home just north of the city then and I was not knowledgeable about the various ways to meet guys. Gay bars then were TOO scary. I did not start ( slowly) exploring the gay bar scene until the winter of 1992. It wasn't until the summer of 1993 that I started to get fairly comfortable even being in a gay bar. The VV I could buy at a 7-11 or a CVS. I did not have to go to a porn store or gay bookstore. My gay life was VERY limited back in 1989 to 1992.

One of the worst things I ever did in my life was reject somebody because of my own shortcomings. He was a good looking guy, but slightly overweight. I was having trouble getting an erection at the time and instead of just coming out and admitting it or finding something else to do with him I told him it was his fault because he was overweight. And I left his apartment. Every now and then I think about what I did and just can’t believe what a jerk I was.

On the other hand I saw him about two years later and he lost all his extra weight and he looked great. But as he passed me by on the street he either ignored me or didn’t recognize me.

But still, I've never met a guy who didn't use the best photo he ever took- from 15 years ago. Why do people do that? I always used a bad photo of myself.

I used to get really pissed when it happened after a guy saw me online.

I'm not an Adonis, but my photos on various apps when I was single? Left nothing to the imagination. No cabaret pose hiding my neck, no dance of the seven veils, no dim lighting, etc.

But still, they'd see me for like ten seconds and say, eh, it's not what I'm looking for.

And that's fine....but couldn't you have figured that out before? I always figured guys like that actually got off on rejecting other guys.

If not, then they're just the kind of unfocused, ambivalent kinds of guys who would spend an hour looking at a menu in a restaurant before ordering, and ain't NOBODY got time for that shit.

I have to admit I ditched someone after seeing him in person. I know it's not nice, but neither is having pics that are 10 years old. When he opened the door, I was shocked that he really looked nothing like his picture. I said something stupid like "Oh, I better make sure I locked my car" and bolted.

R25 he definitely ignored you.

Why are gay men so cruel to each other?

Met a guy who was visiting from out of town online. We agreed to meet right outside his hotel to see if we were into eachother. We were. I’m a top. He’s a bottom. We were in bed just getting started when he jumped up and went into the bathroom. When he cane out he told me he’d changed his mind and asked me to leave. No problem. On the way out he said ‘bet you’re a great BOTTOM’ and slammed the door behind me. Ouch.

R31 what a hissing eldergay cunt that dude was. Sorry you went thru that.

I think some people online are so whacked out of their minds on drugs that they don't really behave normally.

Many many many people are dumb as rocks including their visual intelligence and have ZERO capacity to read an image or text and get any sense of the person. Also people publicize the best pictures. Get z are MUCH Better than anyone older, at understanding images and virtual is one thing, reality is another.

gen z

A friend of mine was 22 years old when he was in an accident and after surgery was required to use a cane for balance for about two months afterward. My friend was very handsome then (still is) and he met a guy online. They decided to meet for a drink and then go back to his place. My friend explained that he'd had surgery was still using the cane for a few more weeks and the guy still wanted to meet. They had a drink together and when it was time to leave, the guy said to my friend, "Not going to happen. If I wanted to fuck a cripple, I'd fuck my grandfather."

Str8 guys go back in the closet when they can't find Ennis from Brokeback Mountain.

Please tell me he whacked that stupid bitch with his cane.

No he didn't. He called me when got home and told me what happened. I wanted to go over to the guy's house and punch his lights out.

Awww r39 you’re a good friend.

I've been rejected, I have rejected others… The point is to go nice or at least humane about it. Some people are godawful cunts.

That said, I doubt my fake "sudden migraine" is the nicest way for me to get out of a hookup that already started…

Just say something suddenly came up. Girls say it to me all the time.

"I just remembered I have to wash my hair!"

I'm not into having strangers come over to my place or going to their place. I prefer a bathhouse. If you're not interested in someone you just say no thanks or if they enter your room and then you decide you're not interested you just say it's not working. When someone arrives at your place thru grindr or a bar it's quite awkward if you decide you're not interested in having sex with them, also at a bathhouse no one knows where you live. It's as anonymous as you want to be.

I did that once, it was my first rodeo on grindr (and relationships/hooking up mechanics and specifics),I wasn't sure but he kept being pushy and we ended up meeting for a drink. He knew his angles. He kept being flirty in a very forceful way and I politely rejected him.

And one time I talked to a guy and we agreed to met up and then he blocked me like 20 min later. We didn't talk about anything besides that and it left me very confused lol.

It was much easier in bars when you could get a look at the person and perhaps get a feel for their personality.

I once placed an add on Craigslist looking for a fist bottom (Show Off Your Hole) also invited them to bring along any toys they might like. I know I was drunk and getting drunker because it was getting really late as in 3 or 4 AM. A guy shows up, I buzz him in to the building he makes he way up to the 3rd floor and when I open the door he takes one look at me, picks up his gym bag of toys and makes his retreat back down the stairs without ever saying a word.

Sometimes it's not about looks. I once went over to a guys place after meeting online, matched his photo was ready to go but when I got within 12 inches of his face his breath was so bad I was almost gagging. I didn't say way but I made some excuse and left pronto. Maybe some of you "I cant believe I was rejected by a guy less good looking than me" have other off putting issues.

[quote] I got to the apartment and two guys welcomed me in. One said “Im going to pass. What do you think, Bob?” “Me too. This won’t work.”

Was this by chance Suzanne Pleshette and Bob Newhart?

I went to a guy's house after a brief chat online. In person he was about 200 lbs heavier and about 15 years older than his (gorgeous) picture. I still fucked him, though (it was a long commute and my attitude back then was "hey, everybody shows a better version of themselves online). But I was annoyed and decided that if you choose to omit major traits about yourself, I have every right to reject you.

A few days later I ended up meeting some guy with whom I had chatted a few times. When I showed up at his house, I found out that he was deaf, mute and in a wheelchair. None of this could be inferred from his pic or profile. You might want to mention that at some point?

I wanted to leave, but I stayed for a cup of coffee. Left after about half an hour. He was upset (but didn't really said anything). I still see his profile when I'm that area of town and there still zero mentions of his "issues".

[quote] In person he was about 200 lbs heavier and about 15 years older than his (gorgeous) picture. I still fucked him, though

I suppose this small chance of success is why people post outdated pictures. They’re counting on you being too boring/polite to leave.

he was deaf, mute and in a wheelchair…He was upset (but didn't really said anything)

Maybe because he was a MUTE, Rose

It's called a sympathy fuck. What the hell, you are already there, stop acting like 15 year old virgins.

Not too boring/polite.

Too horny.

There was only one time where I rejected a guy. He looked like his photo--good looking guy--but when he got to my place he was clearly nervous and sweating and smelled like crap.

I just told him it wasn't going to work and marched him to the elevator.

He seemed confused but did not say anything.

Closeted guys would often ghost you after you'd met up--unclear whether they'd blocked you or just deleted the app. There was one guy I met while I was in London for work. Really hot guy, we had good chemistry and had fucked and hung out for about six hours in my hotel room, even had room service send up dinner. We were both late 20s, he had a girlfriend and when I went to hit him up on the app the next day, he was gone, which made me sad--I was there for another week and felt like we'd actually connected and had been looking forward to hanging out with him again... though in retrospect that emotional connection was likely what scared him off.

I knew Grindr was going to shit a while back when twice I'd had guys play games where they sent me to an address that did not exist and then when I went to check, found they'd blocked me. (And no I had not gotten out of the car, so they had no idea what I looked like) I suspect they were also closet cases who mostly got off on the idea that they could have had sex with a guy.

In college I ended up meeting with a guy who attended the same middle school as me. I knew who he was because he had dated a good friend of mine in the 8th grade, but he and I never really associated with each other. Anyway, my junior year of college we ended up chatting online and decided to meet in person.

His disinterest was clear from the moment he picked me up and I got in his truck. He was good looking, but not anything exceptional (I was surprised when he said he worked at Abercrombie & Fitch, which in the early 00's, tended to hire guys who looked like models). I was more interested in connecting with someone from my hometown more than hooking up, but his short responses and seriousness let me know things weren't going to work out.

I was more hurt he wasn't interested in being friends, since online we had established we had a lot in common.

[quote]You're not American, are you?

Such a tedious observation, Nancy Drew @ R11. What difference does it make to the topic of this thread?

[quote] They had a drink together and when it was time to leave, the guy said to my friend, "Not going to happen. If I wanted to fuck a cripple, I'd fuck my grandfather."

I would’ve buried my cane in his ass.

Two great expressions to remember: #1 If you go the barber shop, you’re going to get a haircut. #2 What goes around, comes around. Take hook up situations for what they are. Be as honest as you can be.

This happened to me once, and he just slammed the door in my face without saying anything, so he obviously didn’t like how I looked. I was surprised and it stung for a second, but I always went into those things assuming that it might not actually go down. And for some reason he wanted me to meet him at a side stairwell exit of his building, so the set up was a little strange and who knows what was going on. I was more miffed that I was wasting my time so late in the evening. I’ve changed my mind twice after showing up, and in both cases guys turned into prissy cunts despite my attempts at being polite as possible.

“Prissy cunts” says it all. Unfortunate demographic of our tribe and instant boner killer. Over-represented here at the DL. They did you a favor.

R47- Now he could go FUCK HIMSELF.

I only rejected a guy once. It was when I first started using the apps. A guy with a presentable picture showed up but literally looked like a troll. I can find beauty in most people so I invite him in. He sits down and we start talking. His hands were weirdly scaly and he kept scratching his groin area like he had jock itch. He also kept going on and on about how great he apparently was in bed.

As I was young, I told him that I have a policy of not sleeping with anyone the first time we meet, so I sent him on his way. He kept writing to me but he eventually figured out I wasn't interested.

As I've grown older, I've realized the best policy is to be direct and don't string anyone along.

A friend has a great attitude about rejections--you never know what the guy has been through that day and what is causing him to act that way. It out the rejection on the person rejecting and not on you.

I was surprised when my stunning friend said he's been rejected a few times too. He's a very fit guy, but some potential hook up actually rejected him by saying: "When your profile says you go to the gym, you mean like once a month?"

What's is when you seem to get along with someone well while chatting online, but, if you don't look exactly right in person, all that "internet friendship" disappears in a flash, even with people you seem to have alot in common with.

How stupid was I when I was younger? I rejected someone SOLELY because he had a few hairs growing out of his nose.

Your friend is right R64

There are a whole bunch of other factors too-- is the guy a closet case and freaked out that a guy actually showed up who wants to have sex with him? Is he in a relationship and realized he doesn't actually want to cheat? Is he scared of STIs/HIV?

You just don't know.

I think this sort of fits.

I'd been chatting to a guy for ages, and had planned to meet pre-Covid, but obviously that scuppered the initial plans.

We arranged to meet Friday just gone, and he'd booked a hotel for us to spend the weekend. In the run up he kept saying how excited he was and asking me what he should wear, do etc. This seemed a bit OTT (he kept wanting me to confirm things I'd already confirmed) but put it down to enthusiasm, not everyone is like me after all.

Then some issues cropped up. First of all he might not make it because was due to have surgery 10 days before and might not be ready, but then the operation was postponed. Then he told me he had to work the Friday after all, despite having it booked as annual leave. Then that got sorted out and it was fine. I thought these were red flags I did not think it would ever actually happen. But Friday came and he messaged to say he was on his way. I half expected his train to explode or to get to the hotel and them not to have the booking or something.

Anyway, we met, checked in and made our way to the room. We started making out and suddenly the atmosphere in the room changed. He grabbed his mobile and made up some story about a relative (who by coincidence lived nearby) being taken ill and to cut a long story short, made it very clear I should leave while he'd go and see them and message me later to see if I wanted to come back.

I just went home. I should have listened to my gut instinct over all the red flags, but I think I must have been a real let down in real life.

Oh and once I had a guy turn up at my door, when I opened it and he said "Nah" and walked off.

A dear friend of mine, in his 50s and has been around the block many, many times, advised me to go on a coffee date first before going for drinks, dinner, or more.

Why? Because it's the opposite of going for drinks: You don't go for third/fourth/fifth rounds of coffee. It's daytime, which comes with a different, lighter vibe. The brevity of a cup of coffee allows you to check each other out and there's a bit of a time limit at play, which means you can both count down the minutes if you're not into him. It's cheap, it's fast, and you find yourself in an environment where you can actually hear each other.

Coffee dates.

Agreed, Dutchie. I would add seriously contemplating masturbating before any face to face. To make sure you’re thinking with the right head. That practice saved me from many mistakes back in my salad days.

Most of what people are referencing R70 don't fall into the category of dates.

A friend once aptly described Grindr hookups as "hiring an escort for an hour, but without the hassle of having to pay for it."

And R68 - I will refer you to my post at R67 - I would highly suspect there were other things going on, e.g. this guy was in a relationship, liked the idea of flirting with you online when it was just fantasy--you were a couple of photos online and some text messages, not a real person, but then when it actually came time to make it real, he got cold feet.

R70 I don't know about you, but I get the runs within 30-60 mins of drinking coffee

So order tea R73

R74- The other person rejects him and is nice about R73-will at least get some TEA AND SYMPATHY.

[quote] We arranged to meet Friday just gone, and he'd booked a hotel for us to spend the weekend.

NEVER schedule a weekend when you haven't ever met in person.

[quote] We arranged to meet Friday just gone, and he'd booked a hotel for us to spend the weekend.

Believe it or not, my a friend, a real cutie, did this with a guy he had never met--but they decided to fly to Cancun together!! They met for the first time in the airport.

My friend was fine with the guy and thought the guy was fine with him. After the first night in Cancun, the guy said he had an emergency at work and had to fly back. My friend just stayed for the weekend.

Yes, it was stupid, my friend admits.

Now, many apps allow you to facetime the person on the other end before you meet--but that's weird too. I think it takes the energy out of the potential encounter

All I got was a curt “I’m sorry. I just can’t.”

Does protesting actually work. I"ve seen guys get rejected and they try to make a case for why the rejecter change his mind--never works.

R79- It sounds like a typical DL response- Just NO.

Similarly R44, I always preferred to have a hook up in a hotel room. I wouldn’t invite someone to my home. I just always used to prefer to travel.

It’s happened to me a few times, but I never found it particularly hurtful. It was more a feeling of annoyance over the time wasted.

Conversely, I have too often gone ahead with sex with guys I found unattractive, and regretted it afterwards. But one time I arrived at a cocksucker’s place and he was such a nasty gargoyle, I just had to say no. He was furious and I could hear him screaming at me as I fled down the stairs of his apartment building.

I am very hesitant about rejecting guys solely on their looks. Some of the most amazing sex I’ve had was with average looking guys.

One guy rejected me when I went to his place. He did the standard, “I don’t think this will work.”

Then I went home and got on the computer again.

And he hits me up yet again! I had to remind him who I was and how he had rejected me just 30 minutes before.

Early 90s. I was in my very early twenties and deeeep in the closet and living on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. At the time, I occasionally met guys in the Ramble in Central Park—-although given the AIDS epidemic, it was a shadow of its glorious past. Mostly I met guys through phone chat lines. You’d leave an outgoing message, like “hot, straight-acting, very good looking, masculine italian guy here really into other hot guys. looking for a real connection now. upper west side only. masc only. hosting.” Then guys would listen and if interested you could connect live. It was hard because you couldn’t see guys faces and had to meet blind. Can you imagine?

I did meet some hot guys this way. But there were some losers of course who you just had to turn away. Once I got turned away too. I connected on the phone with a “very good looking, blonde, muscle bottom” who invited me over to his place to fuck. His main requirement was that iI wasn’t fat. I showed up at this guy’s apartment. I’ll never forget because when I exited the elevator all hot and full of anticipation, this young couple from the other unit on the floor got in and they laughed in my face because they KNEW what I was up to. And they KNEW what I was in for. Turns out this guy was this freaky blonde mental fag boy who was on local access television every night at 1am. He was like a gay The Forum / “course of miracles” poster child and was trying to bill himself as some kind of inspirational and motivational mental health coach. He was totally and completely mental. And when I saw who it was I kind of froze and was just terrified. Is this was the gay world was really like? Like this freakish mental Forum dude was destined to be in the mix? I was distraught but terrified to leave as this mental control freak fixed me in his gaze and led me to his bedroom. He acted in a way that was very odd. He sat me on his bed. He touched me. He touched my belly, and said, this isn’t going to work out.” He turned instantly cold at the 1/2” of belly on my svelte 22yo body — thank god! i hightailed it outta there, went home and took care of myself.

Great anecdote, R86

Keep‚them coming, whores!!

I've rejected a few. I've never been rejected, except I had some who didn't want meet up again. I remember a few vividly, they were that hot and good. It wasn't our sex I don't think. Sometimes you just don't want more than just the one time sex. I've been there myself.

I once sort of rejected a guy while I was fucking him.

We were in the middle of sex when I realized I wasn’t all that attracted to him. I was fucking him but knew I couldn’t cum because he didn’t turn me on that much (plus he had no personality in bed). It’s a weird feeling that tops get—having a hard-on but knowing you won’t cum. So I looked at the clock and pretended I had a meeting to go to. So got dressed quickly and left.

[Quote] except I had some who didn't want meet up again.

There are a lot of times that one encounter diffuses all sexual tension—so no matter how good it was, guys may not want to meet again.

God I have so many of these stories..... I did have sex with a guy who came over late one night and looked nothing like his pics. But I was horny and he was there so I went for it. Except I couldn’t get an erection. When he finally noticed he said, in a snarky tone, ‘does that thing ever get hard.’ I very quietly responded ‘yes but it needs an incentive.’ He left in a huff and I changed my sheets and went to sleep.

As you go about your life, building your career and public profile, do you worry these hookups might be gossiped about in the future on certain vile trollery sites?

R12 I wanna hear more stories about the newspaper ads etc

I responded to a VV ad back in 1995. The guy was looking to have his first gay sexual experience and we met at a coffee shop in the village. When I got there he was at a table chatting with another guy. Turns out he was interviewing prospective men to have sex with. Had a little notebook and everything. I was intrigued. Conducted the meeting like a job interview and took notes. Never heard from him again so I guess I scored a solid F.

... and the payphones that would ring as you walk by it... Hello..?

r92 no

[quote]Coffee dates.

I went on one of those once with a guy I dated, we broke up and he wanted to get back together. It's been 30 years now, I guess it worked.

[quote] I found out that he was deaf, mute and in a wheelchair.

[quote] He was upset (but didn't really said anything).

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I once was rejected while we were already having sex. It was at West Side Club in Manhattan about four years ago. I was in the middle of fucking ( with a condom and doggy style) this good looking slim straight looking/sounding blond guy when all of a sudden he says-

I like it RAW. I stopped fucking him. He put on his towel and left. Talk about RUDE. I'll admit that I was flattered he was interested in me to begin with and he was definitely in a position to have an attitude even though he was a bottom.

We were all 100% thinking that R98!

[quote]He was upset (but didn't really said anything).

Ahguangahhhhhh-hhhhMmmmmph.

This thread is the ultimate car crash. I can't help rubber necking.

Some of you completely oblivious that we are as horrified about your own pathetic lack of game, as we are aghast at the weirdo sad sack Buffalo Bills who rejected you.

Yes, r53. It's called "pity fucking" and everyone should do it in the interest of charity.

But rejection stings the absolute WORST when you feel like you're offering a guy uglier than yourself a pity fuck because you're so horny and there's no one else available but he declines YOU.

But we do know a lot of people have inflated egos and notions of their own desirability who don't want to acknowledge their flaws, so they pretend their was nothing wrong with them when they were rejected, r67.

If you're rejected in Mansex World, it was on account of your looks 95 percent of the time.

Do you children remember the 976 numbers? I met an amputee, a really hot guy with one of those first-generation artificial arms, he went into the kitchen to get drinks and I asked " Can I give you a hand ?" He asked me to leave

A friend set us up. Blind date, ugh. He was a narcissist interested only in himself. He was a mildly popular lounge singer. He was semi attractive but not my type. He had that greaser look that I hate. Shirt unbuttoned too low, tight pants, shiny boots, a silly chain around his neck, and an unattractive pompadour hairdo. I knew the minute he looked at me I wasn't his type either but we went through the motions of being on a date. As soon as I could I excused myself and went to the restroom and left. I figured I'd do it before he could. Ha

R106- Reject him before he rejects you.

We was back at his. Old bugger comes over and says “Oi, mate, I don’t think this is going to work out, eh. You’ve got the sloppiest hole this side of Weho.” Then he shoves his arm up me arse.

Back in my younger days, in the mid 80s, when I was in my early 20s, i worked part-time as an escort for a gay call boy service. It was based on the Upper West Side. The thing was back then when punters would call up interested to hire somebody the person from the agency that answered the call would usually start by giving a brief description of each whore who was available to do a date at that time. No internet yet so no way to send a photo.. The descriptions were very short and basic like blond dude, swimmers body, 7 inch dick.etc.

This usually worked out ok and most the time the customer accepted the date when they arrived. For example, if a customer was looking for a particular type of guy and there was nobody that really fit that description, if possible, they'd still say they had such a person and when the agency called you about the booking they'd tell you the client wants XYZ type of person so pretend you are that type. I'm of NW European descent (mainly English and German) but sometimes they'd tell me the john wanted an Italian Guido type. I have brown hair/brown eyes but that's a stretch. However, I did my best Vinny Barbarino imitation when I arrived for these dates and just hoped that the client didn't call me out for the deception.

Now for all the calls I did I can only remember 2 times when my appearance was a problem. I once went to an apartment in Murray Hill I was told to visit and right after the guy opened the door he said something about him already cancelling the appointment earlier and my agency should've already let me know. I said no problem and left to the street where I called my agency from a street pay phone. The owner didn't sugar coat it. He said you weren't the customer's type. I was a little hurt by it. Then another time I waited on the street at an agreed upon location in Times Square to meet up with a client. I waited awhile and when nobody showed up I went home and called the agency. They said the client saw me from a distance wearing a blazer and that turned him off so he didn't come up to me. The agency said the client would still meet up with me the next day for a session if I dressed down and wear jeans and a tee-shirt. I agreed to his conditions and met up with him the next day.

TL;DR-People are fickle and weird with their sexual attraction tastes, especially when they are paying for it.

[quote]However, I did my best Vinny Barbarino imitation

lol! thanks for the laughs, R109

I just remembered this one time I arrived at a guy’s house to suck his dick. He stood in the middle of the room with his arms crossed as I kneeled and got to work. Now, I have had a lot of praise over the years for my cocksucking skills, and I have several long-term oral tops who can provide glowing references. But this guy stopped me and said it wasn’t working out. I admit I struggled slightly to maintain an air of dignity as I stood back up - knees clicking - wiped the corners of my mouth, and walked out.

[Quote] you're offering a guy uglier than yourself a pity fuck because you're so horny and there's no one else available but he declines YOU.

He's not interested in desperate whores. I commend his judgment.

Why didn't you just work out of Rounds, honey?

Once I met up with a guy in bar to see if we clicked before taking things further.

I enjoyed his company but he soon made excuses and left.

He sent me a message later saying something like "I'm sorry, it's really superficial I know but I don't like guys who wear glasses." I sent back "They're not fucking stapled to my head"

Things have gotten so bad, if I get hit on by a hot guy I think he's either a) made a mistake or b) is playing some sort of cruel joke

That's when you create a fake profile, catfish them and send them to a fake address (preferably inhabited by elderly christians) to have sex.

[quote]they'd tell me the john wanted an Italian Guido type. I have brown hair/brown eyes but that's a stretch. However, I did my best Vinny Barbarino imitation when I arrived

LOL Was the John's name Mr. Kotter? Did you put on a thick American Italian accent? They fell for that?

[quote] That's when you create a fake profile, catfish them and send them to a fake address (preferably inhabited by elderly christians) to have sex.

Not proud of this but I've done that. I was rejected by a guy after going to his house. He opened the door, saw me, and said "Nope!" and closed the door on me. It was totally rude, especially to someone who drove out to meet him after a few weeks of nice online conversations.

It pissed me off to the point that I created fake profile with a gorgeous man's pic. I accepted every offer that came my way, no matter what they looked like. I told them all to come over to "my house," and gave then that guy's address--at all hours of the night. I certainly hope it drove him nuts.

Yes, gay man are fickle. Even my great looking friends have plenty of stories about rejections. There's no way to be sure--one guy will think you're amazing looking and another thinks you're a troll. You just give up trying to place yourself in the looks hierarchy after that.

R119- Sometimes one can be rejected by an AVERAGE looking guy and a good looking guy will be VERY attracted to you. Don't try to figure it out.

He saw my ladybugs and went screaming she running through the Capitol building!

R118 you bitch!

That's not something a sane person does R118

R111 ouch, that stings.

I will not be shut doored, Dan.

R94 damn, I have to respect that dude. Smart way to cut thru the BS. I may need to try that.

R89 why didn’t you just fake it?

R86 great story.

I've always been attracted to older men, but didn't accept it when I was younger so I wasted a lot of time with guys who ultimately didn't interest me

One guy I messaged online was ten years younger and more of a pretty boy/bad boy than I would have approached in person

I could tell immediately at my door he wasn't interested in me, so I said that we should just end it and not go any further.

For some reason, he came inside and we had an awkward conversation for ten minutes, and then he said that he should be going

He obviously didn't want me to be the one assessing the situation as if he was too hot for me to tell to leave first

R118 you fool. you sent hot and horny men to your enemy's doorstep.

I rejected someone in the past and I feel especially bad about it now.

I met a guy one night at a bar in the East Village. He was visiting from another city. Tipsy, I invited him up to my place on the Upper East Side We took the subway, but both fell asleep during the trip up. I was sobering up and decided I didn't want to hook up any more.

He was still sleeping as I got off at my station, leaving him in the subway car. Next stop Harlem and then the South Bronx!

R131- It's kind of harsh but funny at the same time.

Lmao r131

When I am chatting on the apps and we agree to meet up I always say that if I’m not for him or he’s not for me, that it’s absolutely ok to say that. That weeds out the dickheads and I’ve never had a negative experience when that happens.

Much of this has to do with the guy on the other end.

He was closeted. Or partnered. And actually seeing you in person freaked him out.

R135, see R67

I will also add another reason - it's late and the guy you're meeting is buzzed.

You've had some hot back and forth and he's horny AF

You've sent him some hot body and dick shots.

He feels like he's getting close and the appeal of finishing himself off and going to sleep wins out over the appeal of getting dressed and heading back out again.

So he stops responding to you or maybe even blocks you.

Even though you really are pretty hot.

The coffee date strategy is a good one. The one I employed was to have a long period of "chat courtship". I'm one of those guys who never posts a head shot. I know, I know. Anyhoo, I prefer not to meet until we be chatted for weeks, sometimes months. I figure we'd mutually find any weirdness by then. Also I prefer to host.

But one time I was going to another borough for some boring thing one lazy Sunday afternoon. So I found a hookup nearby. I think it must've been Craig's list; I used that a lot those days.

The guy was nice enough, the apartment was nice enough. He liked what he saw. But when he took his shirt off I saw he had a Crix belly I just couldn't go through with it. So I did the it is not working for me thing. He looked at me. We looked at each other. He knew why. I knew he knew why. He knew I knew her knew. He wanted me to say it was because he had HIV. I didn't want to say that.

I always played safe, always assuming a hookup was probably poz was my policy. But to have the evidence so visible was something I could not handle. I left. I felt sad.

The social get together I was going to later was as boring as expected. I took the subway back. Another Sunday in the city.

There are so many factors at play. I remember in the 90s when adult bookstores started installing buddy booths in some of their peepshow arcades. Instead of not really being able to see much of the guy in the next booth except his dick if he stuck it through the open slot for you to suck on, all the sudden you could see them completely through the Plexiglas if they elected to tap the up arrow button allowing the divider between the two booths to come down. Some guys would pull up their shirts, exposing their hairy stomachs and armpits or turn around and pull their butt cheeks apart to expose their pink hole to you. This would get me crazy horny and frustrate me as i couldn't touch them with the Plexiglas between us. Some of these same guys, would motion for you to meet them outside the booth and when you did they'd invite you to their nearby apartment/residence to hook up. However, when i accepted i was often less than as excited about the experience as I'd been in the next booth with them. Something about seeing him in all his glory but not being able to physically touch him because of the plexiglas and longing for physical contact added to the sexiness. What we find sexually attractive at any particular moment and how we respond to sexual stimuli before us is so variable.

Wait... R138 - didn't his status come up at all in your conversation or on the app?

^^R137, not R138

R139 I think the post had the standard "DD free" Of the day. Mine always did. Maybe he was undetectable. I wouldn't have agreed to hook up otherwise. Also this was one of the rare instant hookups.

Your vignette is so touching, r137. You should submit it to Reader's Digest or maybe Redbook (if it still exists).

Scarring tales of Crix Belly encounters. It's 2021 for crissakes. Should I tell you about how mean the rich boys were to me at Yale in the 50s?

R138. YES, I know what you mean, a thousand times yes.

Am I the only one who had to look up Crix belly?

no r145 i had to too

R137 I don’t get it.

R145 I just did and I still don’t get it. How did you know he wasn’t just fat?

Sometimes it helps to be self conscious of your own behavior when meeting someone for the first time. Twice I met up with guys and we chatted for a bit and parted ways. I just assumed they just weren't interested, and moved on. No hurt feelings. Then they ended up reaching out to me several days later asking if we could hang out again sometime soon, and we became regular hookups for a while.

One time I met this 89 year old queen who was a former university professor. It took him an hr to walk down to the lobby to meet me and as he went to shake my hand he fell over and broke his hip. I was so disgusted, I left immediately.

r150 you didn't get him help? Sounds like you're the disgusting one.

R151 LOL. Nope. The nerve of the fucker, falling over and breaking his hip. That's why you never meet dinosaurs.

R148, the early protease inhibitors had a side effect of redistributing body fat. There was fat loss in the face, arms and legs, and a paunch developed. That is actually a very sad story, but I understand why the poster fled. Surely there were enough HIV+ people around so the hook-up didn't have to risk infecting or getting rebuffed by non-HIV+ people.

R137 Months of chit chat just to get dick? Guys really play along that long?

I hate the ones that just talk and talk. You can tell they will never meet up with you after a few "Sorry, can't make our scheduled meeting because something suddenly came up" notes

R154 ON DL and on this thread, yes, there are gay incel wallflowers who have been slowly, bravely, working up to a "touch-peepee" over several decades. NO FATS NO FEMMES NO UNCUT NO STDS NO MUSLIMS NO ASIANS, of course.

R156- Don't forget these people only want- Good looking, straight acting, muscular, blond hair , blue eyes, JOCK/FRAT BOY.

R157 god forbid anybody have standards and not just fuck anything that moos.

Honey you're fucking no-one whatsoever. How has that worked out for you?

I met an airplane pilot online and we agreed to meet at Starbucks. He saw me and tried to escape, even though he wasn't fast enough for me to not notice what he was doing. He then tried to be nice and chat with me outside but I thought he was a jerk for that and we never contacted each other again.

Did you expect to remain in contact with him? The guy who tried to flee the sight of you, in horror?

I don't understand the "let's meet at a public place first" thing. You want it now. This isn't a date.

OP This happened to me five times (over 25 or 26 years).

#1 Mid-90s AOL hookup. I was drunk and sloppy and I wouldn't have hooked up with me either. I took a cab about 15 blocks from my place to his on the upper east side. It was very late at night and neither one of us had phones. He said he would be walking his dog and would look for me getting out of a cab. I did. I saw him, he saw me, and I walked (stumbled?) toward him. He did not acknowledge me and let himself back into his building.

#2 and #3 Later than #1, but pre-9/11 and via Gaydar or Manhunt or BigMuscle.

#2 I took a cab to his ghetto block on the LES. It was a hot and disgustingly humid night and his sidewalk had a garbage bag with one of those nasty antifreeze-looking ooze puddles in front of his building. I cannot remember if he came down to meet me or if I went up to his apartment, but he checked me out and said, "I'm sorry. This is not going to work for me." He was a ginger with a sleazy vibe and I remember thinking, before he spoke, "I could just leave," but decided to just enjoy myself with him. When I left, I was more annoyed that I had taken two cabs with no payoff.

#3 This was more like he wanted a date/I wanted a hook up. He worked in theatre and took me to a show he had free tickets for. I felt him staring at me all during the second act as if he were deciding "should I or shouldn't I?" Again, I would have hooked up with him even thought he misrepresented himself in various ways, such as saying he was 6 feet tall and was clearly 5'9". He gave me mixed signals all night and we went for a drink after. He said to me at least three times "I hope you find what you're looking for." Very syrupy and fake.

#4 Cut to maybe 2009? By this time, Grindr had been launched, I had found my sexual self and my assertiveness, and I looked great. I had been with a lot of men via Grindr and I never rejected anyone in person and always made the best of it. I would just ghost them afterwards if they contacted me, with the exception of 3 or 4 guys I saw a few more times each. But one guy (#4) had me come up to his (nice, midtown east) apartment. We sat on his couch in his (too) brightly lit living room and I was ready to pounce. I had a massive hard on and put his hand on my jeans. He said, "Very nice. Feels big." Then he took his hand away and said and did nothing. After a few more awkward minutes I realized this guy did not know how to reject me so I left.

#5 Weirdest non-hookup, hookup I ever had: I had been chatting with a guy on Manhunt for maybe a year or even two. He was an amazing looking, handsome, muscular bottom. Definitely had masculinity issues, was very into "straight-acting." He was on a business trip to NYC and was staying in one of those hotels on Lexington in midtown, maybe the W. He had to come down to the lobby to meet me and take me up to his room because the elevator had a keycard system. Very handsome and built in person, of course shorter then he said but I did not care. Got to his room and he got naked quickly and got on his bed, supine. Then, he said nothing and did nothing. I touched his body. Tweaked his nipples. Nothing. I got my very hard dick out and slapped it on his pecs a bit. Put it near his face. No expression change. Motionless. It was like this guy was this beautiful sex-robot but his battery was uncharged. His cock was soft and stayed soft. I know I asked him once or twice, "What do you like? What do you want me to do?" Maybe he shrugged but he gave me nothing. So after a few more minutes, I said something like, "OK, maybe we'll try for this another time." I let myself out. He contacted me a few more times over the next year on Manhunt but he never made any indication that we had me before and I just ignored him. Weird dude.

While I haven't rejected many and haven't been rejected much, I can count on my hand the encounters that we actually memorable and great. It's like a drug--you're always looking for the perfect connection but it only very rarely happens.

Only once, he told me he could tell that I smoked after kissing me and it was a deal breaker. I hadn't even smoked (but I did take a quick puff on my vape pen on the way over). He kept saying how cute I was but he couldn't do it . It really messed me up too!

R162- Because he and or you want to make sure there is going to be an attraction before you go back to his or your place. It's much more awkward if you have to say no to someone when they're sitting in your living room.

This happened to me so many times. Lots of times they just say you are not how you look like in the picture. Sometimes they said you look a lot older than you are in your picture. My pictures are always up to date.

R163, your novella would've been much more interesting if you'd provided just a few more fascinating details, such as the room number in the W hotel (assuming that it was in fact the W). We at DL live for subtleties like that.

My favorite DL troll thread was ostensibly about peoples' first time seeing a guy naked, but the OP kept posting all of these architectural details about the location, the room and the decor and practically nothing about the naked men. It was hilarious but I guess you had to be there.

An airline crew had posted on a gay app and we were chatting. He gives me his room no. and tells me to come up. There's another guy on the app who seems to be in the same hotel but has been somewhat slow to respond. I enter the first guy's room - avg body covered in tattoos but pretty hot. I strip he puts his hands down my boxer briefs. Just says "no" and I get dressed and leave. In the elevator, guy #2 has responded and we start chatting. I am sitting in the lobby, chatting with him and he asks me to come over. Turns out, his room is in the same floor! Great hookup, talented tongue, tall Belgian guy!

[quote]I just did and I still don’t get it. How did you know he wasn’t just fat?

Crix Belly can only be determined by a Doctor not some rando hookup queen from the 90's. Lots of guys have fat bellies like that. And that side effect of HIV drugs was not typical, not to mention they dont even use that specific drug anymore I think. But paranoid queens from that era just assumed shit about anyone who was not a model.

R171 Remember facial wasting from the aids cocktails? OMG it was horrible. Everyone in the Dawson era who did the Treasure Island bareback videos in the 00s had facial wasting. It was gross.

We're so sorry that your delicate sensibilities were so offended, Miss R172.

The Dawson era? He has his own era now?

BS the crix belly always had an unusual protruding look where the abdomen looked pushed out, and it was on otherwise lean men.

R174 Of course he does. Those Treasure Island men with all the repulsive HIV poz men with facial wasting were nightmarish and fucking grotesque. Thank god we are into a new era where the guy who did the Treasure Island vids is now paying for the Sketchy Sex vids. No aids fucks with facial wasting these days, man. This new era is drop dead gorgeous gay for pay straights seeding a million slutty twinks. Dawson is surely spinning in his grave.

Dawson was not a Twink when he did those you cradle robber.

I haven't read this entire thread, so I don't know if this question has been asked:

How many times did you go thru with the sex because it seemed easier than rejecting the guy and making him feel bad? I've done it a few times...and am now wondering how many times it was done to me, (or for me??)

Also, Dawson is not dead and he did not have AIDS. Sorry to burst your bubble.

He was a thin guy, he had abs which almost all guys that thin have thin faces.

He's in his 50's now. He sends his love.

R177 Where does it say Dawson was a twink? You blind, stupid fuck. Dawson had aids and facial wasting. He was repulsive to look at. His body was nice but his face was disgusting.

R179 He looks like Gollum in that pic. Seeing someone's exposed skull is not sexy. Dawson could only dream of being a present day twink taking a million loads from gorgeous gay for pay straight guys.

Dawson was born in 1974. His 20 load weekend came out in 2004. That makes him about 30 years old at the time. NOT A TWINK.

^^^The guys you are comparing him to today with your link are much much younger. That was my point.

Dawson enjoys he work. Sends his love.

R182 Are you a stupid delusional asshole? Nobody would ever say Dawson was a fucking twink. He was a repulsive aids troll with facial wasting who let other repulsive assholes with aids and facial wasting breed his repulsive hole. The Treasure Island vids were grotesque and a crime against nature and all that is good.

R185, clutching his pearls since 1985.

But still alone jacking off to under age twink porn because he was too afraid to ever have sex with men in real life.

The DL loves Dawson R185, you are the only one that has issues. Check out this thread.

I'd give Dawson my load any day.

So many sad tales here. Curious as to what would be preferable...

- Guy flees at the sight of you and blocks you

- Guy makes lame excuse and leaves

- Guy tells you that he doesn't want to continue because he isn't attracted to you, but thanks you for your time

- Guy reluctantly goes through with the hook-up but it doesn't go well.

I take option 2, R189.

R163, Guy # 5 was a Pillow Princess. He sounds like a closeted gay. He was waiting for you to do everything while he laid back. Later, he could say that some guy just ravaged his body against his will. He didn't suggest anything.

I once hooked up with a guy like R163 's number 5.

I'd never known anything like it - the guy just lay there and wouldn't move or do anything. I know he said he was passive but I didn't expect it to be quite that extreme.

[quote]a present day twink taking a million loads from gorgeous gay for pay straight guys.

Way to romanticize retard whore twinks, R181.

Once had one of those, too.

I felt weird about doing anything, so I stopped, got dressed and walked out. He didn't even flinch — must happen a lot to him.

Dawson is HIV+ but does not have AIDS because of the effective meds we have now

R193 You're the only retard whore twink. All the "actors" from sketchy sex are regular gorgeous men they waved a few hundred dollars to fuck or get fucked on camera. Most of them probably have no jobs or educational credentials so of course they will go for it.

[quote]You're the only retard whore twink.

That's the best you got, R196? You're the QUEEN of the retard whore twinks.

Can we get off the topic of Dawson and back to the topic at hand?

This is the ultimate cringe thread.

[quote]Can we get off the topic of Dawson and back to the topic at hand?

I'll get off of to Dawson. Yes.

I just say, "You took the words right out of my mouth, chubs," and walk away.

The very few times it has happened. Ahem.

This happened at a bathhouse in the winter of 2018. It was on a Sunday night. I had only been in my room for a few minutes when this good looking muscular masculine white guy with facial hair about 32 years old stopped at my door and said- How's it going? I said- ok, I've only been here for a few minutes. I was unenthusiastic and figured he would walk away. He did not . He entered my room. I rubbed my hand over my towel a bit. He stood there briefly then turned around and walked out. I was sorta rejecting him because he was so HOT and I didn't want to deal with him. I still wonder if he turned around and walked out because up close he did not like what he saw or because I did NOT respond properly to his hotness.

What you'll find is a lot of people are flakes like that. Shrug it off - you're better than that.

R202 he wanted a fluffer

R150 if you left immediately, how do you know he broke his hip?

R197 is Dawson. He's the only repulsively ugly aids troll who'd defend him.

Back in AOL chat room days, I had a twin, we were practically separated at birth, though I was a few yrs older. He slept with the first guy I ever slept with, & we eventually met up as friends to compare notes, we had a “30 by 30” contest going (sleep with 30 guys before you turn 30)

He seriously pissed off one guy, & that guy started messaging/catfishing me out of revenge, thinking I was my friend. So I end up driving 30mins to meet the cat fisher (unaware his profile was fake), but he’d given me a fake address out in the boonies. Later, he messages me, like haha, that’s what you get!

I wanted to get to the bottom of why he was so angry with me, & eventually learned the truth. I get kinda sorry for him, he was fat & dumpy & diabetic & had ED to boot, though he was maybe 35, unemployed, & was addicted to bingo & the lottery. Eventually he sent me his actual pic & told me he probably wasn’t my type. (No shit)

Bump

I am not thin and met up with a guy in town on business who said he was a bear (which meant big, not hairy.) I got to the hotel room and this guy made a bear look like Karen Carpenter. He was obese. And even more disconcerting, he had a pill organizer that looked like mission control. I apologized and said it wasn't going to happen. He didn't mislead me exactly but had I known he was that size I wouldn't have agreed to meet.

R55- I used to do something similar in the bars back in the mid to late 1990's. Sometimes when a good looking guy was cruising me I would walk out of the bar. I got a real HIGH off of rejecting a good looking guy like that.

R210... I totally get it, but boy... what a world we live in.

R210 Sounds like those good looking guys dodged a bullet. That is really fucked up.

R211, R212- I didn't mention this- the good looking guys I walked out on as they were cruising me- I was attracted to them and I still walked out on them. I knew I wasn't going to start a conversation with them ( that was too hard) so I figured I might as well get as much as I could out of their clear interest in me. By walking out on them it gave my ego a bigger boost that I rejected a good looking guy.

Older guy (70) and I chatted a bit online and he eventually invited me over. Made me a cup of tea and asked my age (55). Told me that he never goes for guys over 35 and that he wasn't interested. Had a civil chat, showed me his garden then I left and walked home.

R5 hookups are still fun, you’re just old which is why you’re not getting that same spark because you’ve become the spotted fruit in the grocery store.

R214- Years ago a friend and I were at a bathhouse. My friend who was a top was willing to fuck this black guy. The black guy rejected him because he wasn't hung enough for him. The black guy had a NERVE. He was about 65 years old and OBESE- he had a huge stomach. He was not attractive at all and rejected my friend who was about 52 year old at the time.

I think if a guy has gone to the trouble to come over to your house, you have to go through with it. Sorry.

I’ve had a couple of guys pull that shit on me where I show up and they’re like “I’m not interested.” I didn’t let them get away with it.

This thread's a real wrist-slitter.

I exchanged pics with a guy in another state. I was traveling there on business and we agreed to meet for lunch. We met, and he was polite but maybe a bit distance. I thought he was very attractive and made it know that I would like to go back to his place that afternoon if he was interested. He told me that he had been away for a couple weeks and a rat had created a mess in his kitchen so he had to go home and clean it up.

And so folks, that's the story of how I met someone would rather clean up rat shit than have sex with me.

I can’t believe y’all let guys get away with treating you like this. It’s only happened to me twice, but the first time it happened, I spit in the guy’s face as I was leaving. The second guy, I went back to his house later and set his car on fire.

I can't tell if people are liking these comments because they're cruel and find them amusing or because they feel badly for the person posting. I hope it's the latter.

[quote]How many times did you go thru with the sex because it seemed easier than rejecting the guy and making him feel bad? I've done it a few times...and am now wondering how many times it was done to me, (or for me??)

I've done it a couple of times, when the discrepancy between advertising and product wasn't too bad, or the guy seemed nice enough.

Of course I've had my share of rejection and am usually not bothered by it if politely done. We all have our own taste in men and I'm aware I'm not going to be to everyone's. I only recall one that made me mad, and it wasn't the rejection itself, but that the guy repeatedly implied I'd been fraudulent about sending him someone else's picture. I always sent real photos of myself that weren't too far out of date, though of course I'd pick appealing ones. Now maybe the day we met up in person I wasn't looking my best, but I don't like being accused of deception and fraud. Someone not finding me attractive in person is not a character flaw on my part, and I got the distinct impression he was trying to talk himself into being a victim so he wouldn't have to admit he was rejecting me on a shallow basis (which was, in itself, a no-harm-no-foul kind of thing as far as I was concerned).

My worst story involves someone who is an entertainer…you would all know him. We met at an event and went out with a group of people for drinks afterwards. We exchanged numbers. When he visited my city again a few months later, he asked me to come by his hotel room for drinks. I had gained 10-12 pounds (working 60 hour weeks, stressed, and no time to exercise or cook for myself). The front desk security called his room and he answered and told them to send me up. He looked through the peephole in the door, and didn’t let me in. If I told you who it was, it would warrant it’s own thread. He is that famous. I was too embarrassed to even tell friends what happened. I’m not trying to spend the rest of my life being the dude that was too fat to get fucked by X. This was 15ish years ago, and he is bloated and ridiculous looking now. I hope he dies. Fuck him.

Spill it, bitch

Name and shame…