Do I Have To Send a Token Christmas Present to My Brother’s New In-Laws?

No.

No! They are *his* in-laws, not yours! Do not get this tradition started, OP!

When my sister got married, I was talking about giving her (& her husband) an anniversary gift. My mom said no need to do that. Mom said that the anniversary was for them to give gifts to each other.

Fuck no.

Absolutely not. This is the time in your life to say “no” unapologetically to everyone and everything. I just turned 50 and am employing this tactic and my life is wonderful. Don’t do what you’re supposed to do, as dictated by society. Fuck those in-laws, unless the husband is hot or the wife is a fag hag.

I think some of you dizzy queens deliberately set out to make your lives more dramatic and difficult than they need to be. No, dumb ass. You don't know them. They don't know you. You owe them nothing. Go to therapy.

Hell, no. They're just in-laws. I wouldn't even send a card.

There is no need to give a gift, but it wouldn't hurt to put them on your Christmas card list. It can make them feel more connected to your family, which might smooth things for your brother. But, you aren't obligated, unless your brother makes a request and you like your brother.

R2 My family give gifts for significant anniversaries. The first, fifth, etc... but not every year.

No.

No.

No.

If these people are hosting a holiday party, then yes, you bring a host gift (a bottle of wine). But that's it. Don't set a precedent. If they buy you a gift, who cares. Establish you don't do gifts by never buying them one, and they'll get the message.

Certainly not.

You are poor and petty if you have to ask this question, OP.

A card or a gift?

Send a card if you send a bunch of them. Don’t print or buy a special one.

No gift whatsoever unless you go to their house or something.

But…. When in doubt, just give the gift.

If there’s any chance they’ll have a gift for you, better to be over prepared than under.

YES. And you have to make the wrapping paper yourself with your own homegrown papyrus, OP! Bitch.

Don't do it! You'll have to keep doing it every year if you do. Just ignore them. I'm sure they'll be just as relieved as you.

No

(quote) They are huge pushy cunts

All the more reason not to.

^^^Whoops! Used quotes instead of brackets.

Apologies to DL sticklers.

I don't know anyone who sends gifts to their siblings' in laws.

Although I remember when my sister's mother in law practially pushed her daughter's children towards me at a family event, I think she was hoping I'd include them in the expensive gift haul I sent for my nephews and nieces every Christmas and birthday.

I got in my expensive motorcar and sped off into the night, far away from the grifting harridan!

Yes, and while you're at it, get me something too.

CORRRECTION R16: Used parentheses instead of brackets

What kind of dumbass sends Christmas cards to people he has not met and does not know?

If your boyfriend is pushing this, dump him and run. That is waaaaaay too much control for him to be asserting over you. If you made this up yourself, your boyfriend should dump you and run. If this is an EST, I give it a 10/10. It's the creepiest thing I've ever read.

Also, you should kill everyone involved! They do not deserve to live!

Your siblings in-laws aren't your family, and you don't need to buy gifts or send cards to anyone you haven't met. If I got a card or a gift from someone I never met, it would feel very weird, almost stalkerish.

No.

No.

No,

That was easy, OP.

If they have serious money, yes. Otherwise no.

They have serious money but are quite gauche in subtle ways that really stick in my craw.

I figured so just from the way you asked the question. Never a bad idea to keep up appearances with really wealthy relatives, OP. It will also probably be good for your brother's standing with them.

Only a frau would initiate a gift exchange with her *brother's* in-laws.

Give them a season of the Jerry Springer show.