Bottoms: what is the best way to prepare for a “date”?

Did you forget to buy batteries?

You didn't pre-lube?

Oh honey, there's no way to prevent prolapse. Maybe support underwear and just give oral?

I should have been more specific. How do I avoid a shitty outcome? I thought I had dieted properly and cleaned myself out completely. But there was a problem.

Find a guy who's into scat.

It is up to my tops to be prepared and do everything right.

If you are really worried, douche then pop an imodium to make sure you stay clean for when the time comes. Imodium is the trick all the circuit gays use to make sure they will be clean for bottoming.

R7 omg I thought I had discovered the Imodium trick on my own! Oh well.

All nourishment must be intravenous for 72 hours before.

Pre-moisten your mussy with Vaseline.

Choose your thinnest, most transparent caftan.

Practice bending over to present while simultaneously hiking up the caftan up over your ass and announcing "YUM!"

R10 lmao

Drink a whole bottle of Magnesium Citrate a few hours before you plan to give it up. Trust me, you'll be cleaned out.

Try to get some of that medicine they give before a colonoscopy to clean you the fuck out.

Don't.

Eat.

Shitty.

Food.

Empty a bottle of vodka into your arse, then set fire to it. That should clear out any 'remnants'.

Or you could increase your fibre intake. Probably less messy, to be honest.

I never had an issue when eating Greek food with copious amounts of olive oil. No messy bowel movements = no remnants.

^ Well if anyone is an expert on anal sex, it would be the Greeks.

1) Start taking enough fiber supplements days in advance (not sponsored, but "Pure for Men" have worked really great for me).

2) Don't eat anything heavy/greasy 12 hours prior.

3) Douche! Douche! Douche! Douche! Douche! Until the water comes out crystal clear (no more than 2 hours prior).

4) Take anti-diarrhea pills (like Imodium) if you want to be extra safe.

Thanks R18

I also forgot to mention, try to poop as much as you can before you start douching.

so fucking grosse, all this to have anal sex. why not just skip it al together

So true, r21. In fact why eat various foods which can lead to unpleasant feces? A steady diet of engineered human nutrition modules assures a predictable and clean waste stream which can be tailored to your preferences in terms of consistency, color and odor.

Don’t just randomly start on a high dose fiber supplement or you will likely regret it. Start slow and ramp up, so just start the habit now for the future. Also there’s really no need to spend more money for Pure when Metamucil exists.

This mom-approved diagram should help clear up any doubts.

R21 is probably one of those people who says he doesn't do anal, gives terrible head, and can't even deep throat.

R12 - Is that once of this year's new learning books approved by the Board of Education for children 6 - 12?

Corrected:

R21 - Is that once of this year's new learning books approved by the Board of Education for children 6 - 12?

LOL. Oh Good Lord. Last try:

R24 - Is that once of this year's new learning books approved by the Board of Education for children 6 - 12?

All this talk of anal sex has me discombobulated.

[quote] Don’t just randomly start on a high dose fiber supplement or you will likely regret it.

You'll have more gas than a Shell station until your body adjusts to this new substance.

R28 you still didn’t get it right. Is all the blood from your brain transferred to another part of your anatomy?

Did the top think it was slightly ironic when you cried out "Oh shit!"?

Save your money and buy a pussy.

Bump

Get the money upfront.

OP do not put out on a date. Save yourself until marriage. Go to Tiffany's and look at a few rings to prepare.

Just ordered Pure for Men. Anybody have experience with it?

I usually go to Taco Bell and order a beef and bean burrito and a side order of extra melted cheese.

R36 I have. Before I got into them, I tried Metamucil, but it didn't work work me. It didn't make things worse, but definitely not better. I tried Pure for Men since I heard it worked very well for people, and up to this day, they work very well for me. Of course, everyone's different and everyone has a different digestive system, as well different diets. But so far I'm very satisfied. I like that it's all natural and 100% vegan, so you know you're not putting weird shit in your body. I take 3 pills in the morning and 3 at night with 2 cups of water, and ever since I started taking them, my poop comes out in 1 bit. I used to poop 2-3 times a day, and sometimes I would use up to half a roll just to wipe (I like to be 100% clean, until nothing is visible in the paper). Also, I used to not feel "empty." I felt like every time I went, I wasn't fully done pooping everything out (no, I've never had constipation). With Pure for Men I poop only once a day (sometimes 2 max) and wipe only 3-7 times max, and I feel like everything comes out. Think of them as a sponge. Fiber absorbs everything in your digestive track, therefore accumulating most of your stool in one big piece. They're a little expensive, but I personally think they're worth the price.

I make the douche with Diet Coca Cola and Chanel No. 5.

TMI, r38. Sheesh.

R40 Welcome to DL, where there's no such things as "TMI."

R38 You STILL have to wipe "3-7 times"?!? LMAO. What the hell do you eat? You should be a one and done, if that.

FYI Metamucil and Pure are the same thing: psyllium husk. The difference is in the delivery and that Pure contains less than 2.5g of fiber per 3 capsule serving, for a total of fewer than 5g a day. Oh and the bizarrely high price.

Doesn't wiping more than 3 times tear your hole to peaces? Unless you got a heavy duty hole that wouldn't even budge for a sandblaster

Have the two hundred in twenties laid out on the credenza in advance, to spare the top the embarrassment of having to ask for it.

200? Where are you renting? Mexico City?

[quote] You STILL have to wipe "3-7 times"?!? LMAO. What the hell do you eat? You should be a one and done, if that.

R42 relishes his natural smells.

R42 I do have to admit I eat pretty unhealthy. Still, wiping once is rarely enough. Unless you're a skid mark person. Is that what you're trying to tell us?

They're NOT the same thing. They only have 1 ingredient in common, which is psyllium husk powder. That's the only thing Metamucil contains. Pure for Men on top of containing that, also contains aloe vera extract, black chia seed, and flaxseed powder. Metamucil powder contains shit like citric acid and artificial flavors and colors. Also, they do not contain the same amount of fiber. Pure for Men if taken properly (6 capsules a day, 3 in the morning and 3 at night) adds to 4.5 grams of dietary fiber, which is the full dosage. A full dosage of Metamucil (which is maximum 5 capsules a day) contains only 2 grams.

Not only does Pure for Men have more fiber, but its quality is superior. You clearly don't focus on quality and buy the first thing you see.

R43 I always either use wipes or wet the toilet paper. I never wipe dry. Even after wiping, I always get in the shower and wash my ass after taking a shit and wiping. I don't like/want my ass smelling all day.

Psyllium husks + squatting to defecate = all clear for anal

r47

[quote]I do have to admit I eat pretty unhealthy. Still, wiping once is rarely enough. Unless you're a skid mark person. Is that what you're trying to tell us?

Nope. It's always two wipes in practice, but there's never anything on the paper after the second wipe.

[quote]They're NOT the same thing. They only have 1 ingredient in common, which is psyllium husk powder. That's the only thing Metamucil contains. Pure for Men on top of containing that, also contains aloe vera extract, black chia seed, and flaxseed powder. Metamucil powder contains shit like citric acid and artificial flavors and colors.

Yeah, they only have the most important ingredient in a fiber supplement in common. Otherwise they're nothing alike! Those other ingredients are nice and all, but I question the usefulness in what are sure to be miniscule amounts. And "shit like citric acid"? I bet they use dihydrogen monoxide to make it, too!

[quote]Also, they do not contain the same amount of fiber. Pure for Men if taken properly (6 capsules a day, 3 in the morning and 3 at night) adds to 4.5 grams of dietary fiber, which is the full dosage. A full dosage of Metamucil (which is maximum 5 capsules a day) contains only 2 grams.

I mentioned the difference in delivery (i.e. capsules vs powder). If you use the latter you'll get more fiber more than any capsule (3-6g per serving at 2-3 servings a day).

Just admit you fell for the marketing. It's ok. We all do sometimes.

R50 The amount of ignorance your comment has is honestly laughable.

You are now changing your words. You first said you wipe once, now you are saying you wipe twice. You first said Pure for Men and Metamucil were the same thing, and now you're saying they're not. Pick up your mind, and pick a side, Einstein.

Any person with simple dietary knowledge knows that aloe vera and chia seeds are not only very good for digestive health overall, but have a great amount of fiber in them.

You want to talk about powder instead? Pure for Men is still superior lmao. On top of containing 0 harmful chemicals, the powder version of Pure for Men contains the same amount of dietary fiber as Metamucil. So let's compare them, shall we?

-Pure for Men powder: 6g of dietary fiber + 3 extra natural and beneficial ingredients + 0 chemicals. -Metamucil powder: 6 g of dietary fiber + 3 chemicals.

-Pure for Men capsules: 4.5 grams of dietary fiber + 3 extra natural and beneficial ingredients + 0 chemicals. -Metamucil capsules: 2 grams of dietary fiber + 0 chemicals.

Pure for Men capsules > Metamucil capsules Pure for Men powder > Metamucil powder

Yup, that's a no brainer, unless you have no common sense. Kudos to you for trying to sound smart though.

You struggle with reading comprehension, context clues, and discerning sarcasm. Pity. Well, Pure was made for people just like you.

People should eat a lot of fiber in their diet naturally rather than having to take fiber supplements.

R52 Thank you for ignoring everything I said and instead relied on trying to call me out. You just proved my point even more.

R54 It really didn't warrant another reply, but here you go

[quote]You are now changing your words. You first said you wipe once, now you are saying you wipe twice. You first said Pure for Men and Metamucil were the same thing, and now you're saying they're not. Pick up your mind, and pick a side, Einstein.

I changed nothing. The point is I'm clean after one wipe, even if I do wipe twice to be sure. If I wiped once and got up, I'd still be clean. You on the other hand have admitted that you require an obscene number of wipes, even after taking Pure. Do you even fiber bro? Secondly, Pure and Metamucil ARE the same thing: psyllium husk. And I said nothing to the contrary. Your inability to pick up on sarcasm is very apparent here.

[quote]Any person with simple dietary knowledge knows that aloe vera and chia seeds are not only very good for digestive health overall, but have a great amount of fiber in them.

I add chia and/or flax to a smoothie some mornings. I'm well aware of the benefits.

[quote]-Pure for Men powder: 6g of dietary fiber + 3 extra natural and beneficial ingredients + 0 chemicals. -Metamucil powder: 6 g of dietary fiber + 3 chemicals.

[quote]-Pure for Men capsules: 4.5 grams of dietary fiber + 3 extra natural and beneficial ingredients + 0 chemicals. -Metamucil capsules: 2 grams of dietary fiber + 0 chemicals.

[quote]Pure for Men capsules > Metamucil capsules Pure for Men powder > Metamucil powder

Great. But your overuse of the word "chemicals" reveals to me why much of what I said went over your head, and why you're the perfect customer for companies like Pure. Enjoy. Hope it works better for you in the future!

R55 Wow, so you're trying to tell us that you NEVER wipe more than "twice"? Unless you follow a 110% strict and healthy diet (which I highly doubt), you're obviously full of shit. Congrats, you'll live until at least 100 for eating so healthy! I'm so jealous! You say wiping twice is enough for you to be "clean." Everyone has a different digestive track, but definition of "clean" too. From what you have described, I can tell your definition of "clean" is small smudges on toilet paper are okay, as long as they don't stain my underwear.

You keep saying they're the same. Since your moronic brain clearly doesn't know what "same" means, here's the official definition: identical; not different. One contains 1 ingredient and the other one contains 4 ingredients. Just because they have 1 ingredient in common doesn't make them the same. According to your brilliant logic, a vanilla cake is the same as a chocolate cake, right? I mean they both contain flour.

Oh, so now that I pointed out that Metamucil lacks chia and flax seed, you magically also add them to your diet? I wonder if even your mother believes that.

Hmmmm, you seem to apparently have a very "healthy" diet that causes you to wipe twice at the very most, but still you seem to be unconcerned about chemicals in things you consume. Again, make up your mind.

This being said, I do have to give you some slack; you had a terrible take, bad evidence, and knew you were full of shit, but still pressed on. Takes some guts to not be embarrassed by being this wrong.

[quote]Bottoms: what is the best way to prepare for a “date”?

First I check to see if it's pitted. Then I decide if it is of good-enough quality to bother with.

OP - When on your date, I'd suggest you do like these two young men.

Here, the bottom has the top accompany him to the drugstore, thereby making him part of the process.

Having your top 'get comfortable' and wait, while you "get it nice and ready for him," will make him appreciate everything you do for him much more.

Bottoming threads on Datalounge are always terrifyingly graphic.

Damn…. the argument on this thread about how much wiping on poster does or does not do… really quite something.

Put down a tarp OP.

How did I know this thread would devolve into bossy bottoms arguing over fiber supplements?

[quote] You struggle with reading comprehension, context clues, and discerning sarcasm.

This is always the fallback reply when someone gets called out for being an idiot. You didn't understand what I was saying which, btw, was also being said sarcastically.

Bitch please.

Damn you shit queens are too much.

A good diet and quick enema/shower has never failed me. I figured this out on my own when I was 18 years old. I cannot comprehend how so many bottoms have such a hard time with this. It hardly seems like rocket science.

R64. A real enema from the drug store or one of those douche things?

R65

One of those douche things.

Word is, the drugstore concoctions are not healthy.

R64 Not everyone's body is the same, Mary.

What is a douche thing? Like a bulb?

R68 Yes.

Mine is black. I don’t like it in blue with a white insert.

Back in the day, when I visited the baths, I always got a douche tip.

I douched until water came out potable.

And I'd douche after as well.

I kept the last two feet of manhole clean as a whistle.

It depends, OP. If you're just having regular sex (1 hour or less), douching until water comes out clear will be enough. If you're having a long session or you're getting fisted, you'll need to prep out more and douche deeper. You'll most likely need a shower douche (the hose you attach to your shower).

What’s a douche tip?

If you want to be sure, OP, really sure... get one of these extended nozzles (20 inches) for the Shower Shot you're probably also going to have to purchase.

If you clean out with this, you won't have to shit for three days.

R71 you think that clear water shooting out your asshole is potable? Gurl bye!

R75 you said what everyone else was thinking.

[quote] Back in the day, when I visited the baths, I always got a douche tip. I douched until water came out potable.

Did you do all this during your visit?

Sorry, if people do not find potable — hyperbolic.

And I started at noon before my trip.

Seriously, all these repeated douches and enemas can't be good for your anus and lower intestines. Don't you get chronic irritation or anal fissures?

Find someone that doesn't mind a little pudding on the stick.

r79, i'm now in my 60s and in good health. It's not like I went for a fuck fest every weekend. It is a lot of work to be so clean, but I did it when I had the need.

It is so much easier to use a condom, some lube...

What happens if you have your gallbladder removed? I feel like that changes your digestion.

I appreciate all the ancient slutty bottoms sharing their centuries of wisdom. This is not a question you can ask your mother.

R82,

If you’re old enough to have your gall bladder removed, you’re too old to bottom.

I only use "Summer's Eve"

Preparing to bottom is like roasting a chicken: when the douche juice runs clear, you’re ready to go.

This thread is why I don’t bottom, but I want to so bad. Too much hassle.

Douche = Fleet bottles?

Slow clapping for the two bossy bottoms arguing about which fiber brand is best. Thank you for the laughs.

R88 Fleet makes enemas. You douche with one of those rubber bulb things.

[quote]Bottoms: what is the best way to prepare for a “date”?

I like to put out my good china in the front parlor...

Eat lots of pineapple.

Wait… that’s for something else.

Exactly, R89. And they didn't even get it right.

Just buy psyllium husk powder at your local food co-op. Metamucil is overwhelmingly psyllium husk powder with a few unnecessary and irrelevant ingredients added so that the maker can increase the price. A lot. It costs much more than psyllium husk powder.

Never had a problem until I stopped cooking mediterranean food, tbh.

Olive oil = one poop comes out like a bullet, only have to wipe once because there's nothing else there. Not sure why.

The only 100% reliable method is to not eat for a day.

R95 avoid eating the day before or the day of?

R96 that depends on your particular digestive system. You have to know your own bowel habits and how efficient your system is at elimination. I know that by morning I get pretty much everything out my body, so, if I knew I was going to be having a lot of sex that evening I might have just fasted that day. Intermittent fasting is actually really good for you and has a whole host of health benefits. Obviously, you still need to douche beforehand just in case, but if you’re not putting stuff in the top end end there’s not going to be anything to come out the other end. I always found I was spotlessly clean. Of course, it’s quite drastic prep. If it’s just a quickie then it’s enough to douche, although advisable to eat light, easily digestible foods that day and the day before ideally. I often took an Imodium/loperamide (the instant ones that melt on your tongue are the best) for peace of mind.

R97 Thanks. That’s very helpful. Tomorrow night is the big date. So your advice came at just the right time.

OP,

Have you learned to tie your shoes or do you still wear the ones with Velcro straps?

How far in advance of receptive anal sex do you have to ingest the anti diarrhea tablet?

The Imodium instructions say that it takes effect in less than an hour. R100

Let us know how the date goes OP.

Listen to those who say can, and ignore those who say can’t.

[quote] How far in advance of receptive anal sex do you have to ingest the anti diarrhea tablet?

Depends on the desired effect. I'd say 10 minutes for shits and giggles.

R12, a friend who didn't like his step father, made him a vanilla ice cream soda with Citrate of Magnesia. Then my friend left for the evening.

R102 Thanks for asking. I was clean as a whistle. I ate high fiber cereal every morning for a week. And did the immodium trick.

a nice smile and a lil lavender spray on my mussy

It's MUCH easier to just give the top a clothespin for his nose!

Thoroughly and decisively. Also, just when you think you're clean as a whistle, go one more round with the douche to be extra sure. Oh, and be a lady and finish things off by dabbing a little Jean Nate After Bath Splash down there.

Douching with water gives me a rash.

Every single time.

The next day, I start breaking out in red rash areas.

I have no idea why.

Thanks, R106. How many days after taking the Imodium before you could shit again?

I eat lots of fiber (oatmeal for example) if I have 12 hours notice, then have a nice firm BM. After that, the hot shot in the shower, then lube a cucumber and do a “test run.” (Cucumbers work better than dildos at getting the residue). Repeat with the cucumber until it comes out clean, and you’re good to go.

Oh lord.

You people make bottoming SO complicated.

If the top is bothered by a little bit of "stuff," then he shouldn't be a top.

[quote]After that, the hot shot in the shower, then lube a cucumber and do a “test run.” (Cucumbers work better than dildos at getting the residue).

Do you cut it up and make a nice salad after?

I'm so tight it's usually the poor top who makes the anguished faces.

At least for a little while.

Roma tomatoes make good butt toys. The supermarket Romas that are just short of fully ripe are the best. I can take three large ones or four mediums.

And sure, when you're done, wash them off and get your Marcella Hazan cookbook fired up.

[quote] Roma tomatoes make good butt toys. The supermarket Romas that are just short of fully ripe are the best. I can take three large ones or four mediums.

Bullshit!

You'll have tomato sauce before they even get past your sphincter!

Never let dessert be pulling out a cookie. 🍫 🍪

Sooooo not true, R117. Absolutely not true.

If anyone is still relying on wiping alone to ensure cleanliness, you're living in the stone age.

Tide Pods work well , and leave a pleasing scent

Stealth SCAT thread.

Sybil’s mom recommended ice water enemas

Everyone talks about not having a "shit diet" to successfully bottom, but what exactly does that mean (besides no Taco Bell)? Can you still do keto? If you can do keto, are there still foods that would be considered part of a "shit diet"?

You are supposed to fast

[quote] After that, the hot shot in the shower, then lube a cucumber and do a “test run.” (Cucumbers work better than dildos at getting the residue).

[quote] Do you cut it up and make a nice salad after?

Yes, because it's...potable.

[quote] After that, the hot shot in the shower, then lube a cucumber and do a “test run.” (Cucumbers work better than dildos at getting the residue).

[quote] Do you cut it up and make a nice salad after?

Even more impressive, he makes the salad IN the shower!

[quote]Sybil’s mom recommended ice water enemas

YOU HOLD YOUR WATER!

YOU HOLD YOUR WATER TILL THE VERY LAST LOAD!!!!!

I will never use Imodium again!

I did once and it stopped me up for three days!! I desperately wanted to shit but absolutely couldn’t

[quote] Everyone talks about not having a "shit diet" to successfully bottom, but what exactly does that mean

It means having a balanced diet of natural, unprocessed foods and drinking plenty of water.

We are so hungry after reading this thread!

Well, after I've done my nails...

I like to take a Viagra and a Quaalude with a glass of white wine

while I listen to Charlene's "I've Never Been to Me"

and I put on my makeup and try on lacy bra and panty sets...

Until I find the ones that put me in the most "receptive mood" for my Gentlemen Caller

...and sit on a dildo at my Vanity table with the triple mirrors

Maybe you should go witb Asian tops since fun size penises don’t tend to drill for oil.

Is that wonderful! Little retarded Bobby shot his first deer!

^ oops, wrong thread

I fuck FTM now so get the cute guy without worrying about getting my dick dirty.

R137 = Lia Thomas

R137 Have fun with yeast infections.

Why would bottoms help out shitty bottoms with poopy problems OP? If you shit a top’s dick he is likely not going to go back.

Eat. Whole. High. Fiber. Foods.

A medium apple has 4.4 grams of fiber, more than a serving of Metamucil.

A serving of oats has 4 grams of fiber. So does a cup of cooked spinach.

A cup of raspberries has 8 grams.