Let's be Good Ole Christian Country

[quote]Good Ole Christian Country

Country what? Country music?

I am the new and improved Trumpie Bear, available for 3 easy payments of $29.95 each (but including materials and slave labor, I cost less than 2 bucks to make).

I will show your fake patriotism and fake religious piety proudly, even though Donalad Trump is neither a patriot or religious person.

I'm the sanctity of marriage in spite of a 50% divorce rate.

I’m the brother molesting his sister.

I'm the old refrigerator in the backyard used for target practice.

R5 or beer

I'm lotto tickets

I'm the billboards advertising fast food or eternal damnation in hell along the bleak interstate.

I'm the anti-vaxxers claiming they won't get vaccinated because of their "religion"

We're the gay Jewish and Black couple from NYC whose tire went out on the highway and were towed here. We'll be stuck here overnight. Shit. Shit, Shit. Shit.

I'm the yard signs of Calvin pissing on Joe Biden's and Nancy Pelosi's name. Also big in my area are the Let's Go Brandon yard signs.

I'm the weineroni casserole Miss Millie from church brings to your house when there is a borht/death/sickness

I'm the lack of curiosity.

I'm the creationism textbooks in every school.

i'm all the fat!

r5 The beer fridge is on the front porch, next to the washer.

I'm the monthly budget for meth and Mountain Dew.

I'm the tramp stamp on a mother of 12.

I'm the coat-hanger abortions coming back soon apparently.

....

I'm The Bachelor on ABC.

I'm the foot tap tap tapping in the stall of an interstate highway rest area toilet. I'm attached to a youth pastor who's married to a fat woman named Kayleigh.

I'm the high school production of 'Rock of Ages'

I'm a weird dominionist evangelical church which is really just a cover-up for a pedophile ring.

I'm the dumb bible-thumper who is as excited about Ayn Rand as Anton Szandor LaVey was when he used her words to formulate modern Satanism.

I'm the fear of librul coastal elites who want to morally corrupt our chirruns with a steady dose of anti-racism, gay friendliness, and women's and other rights, all works of Devil.

I'm the Q-Anon flags.

I’m the brochure titled “Gay No More, by God!” placed on my son’s bed after seeing the homosexual filth on his iPad.

I'm the camo.

I'm the evangelicals who are obsessed with "the unborn" but don't give two shits about people who've actually been born

I'm the people who grandstand against "cancel culture" while trying to ban LGBT-themed books and books about racism from the local library

I'm frantic scrubbing of any posts dating from Jan 5 to Jan 10 from my owner's social media. On the other hand, he was dumb enough to take his phone to Washington DC.

I’m the faded “I’m a child, not a choice” bumper sticker on the back of Lurleen’s 1995 Buick LeSabre.

I'm football.

I'm the karma that eventually catches up with these cunts.

I'm alcoholism, meth addiction and opiods.

I'm the Haunted Halloween House put on by the church. Instead of vampires and goblins, I have gays and whores to scare the kids!

I'm a dusty old car on blocks out yonder, I'll never be driven again but they keep me anyways.

I'm the syph.

I’m a “Fuck Biden” flag. My owners live across the street from an elementary school.

I'm the "chocolate fountain" at Golden Corral.

The horrors I have seen.

I'm 3/4 of DL

I'm the hot dumb guys.

I'm MAGA Mary! and I'd like to introduce you to my husband Big Dick and our son, Little Dick!

I'm the Creation Museum in Boone County, Kentucky. Did you know that the Earth is approximately 6,000 years old?

R33 I believe I detect 2% Owl etymology.

I'm Adam & Eve roaming the Garden of Eden with a stegosaurus.

I’m the Thanksgiving spread from Walmart. These folks don’t trust vaccines but have no problem gobbling preservatives. Enjoy the cancer!

I’m all the Cricket machines that are bought instead of paying utility bills or rent. Gotta make them cute Christmas T-shirts for the kids that say Satan’s Elf on them with a red truck.

I'm Meemaw and Pawpaw.

I'm the tv console that's on constantly during the waking hours. Normally on Fox News or the 700 club and for fun occasional reruns of Hee-Haw.

We're the pit bulls gnawing the Covid riddled corpse of our human companion. The damn ambulance never did show up.

I'm the 21st century. I'm still to arrive here.