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I Hate My Brother’s New, Cunty Wife - Since I’m Now Obliged To Send This Rude Hag a Gift + Stocking Stuffer, What Should I

She looks similar to this stupid cunt.

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by Anonymousreply 77November 27, 2021 11:47 PM

*What should I get?

She is where everything good in life goes to die.

by Anonymousreply 1November 26, 2021 5:15 PM

Are you the same idiot who just had a potluck in Hudson with some queens you find tiresome?

Are you going to be asking us similar questions for the rest of your life?

Send her something inoffensive in her size and get over yourself.

Not everything has to be some Morse Code message bullshit.

by Anonymousreply 2November 26, 2021 5:16 PM

Does she know u hate her guts& what the Bitch do???

by Anonymousreply 3November 26, 2021 5:16 PM

To curate the most thoughtful (and potentially hurtful) gift suggestions, we'll need to know what makes her such a hag.

by Anonymousreply 4November 26, 2021 5:17 PM

Fuck you, R2! I am not that ho!

by Anonymousreply 5November 26, 2021 5:18 PM

Get her a white robe, a can of gasoline and a box of matches.

Who needs grease?

by Anonymousreply 6November 26, 2021 5:18 PM

She is a black hole of banality. She speaks in a monotone nasal voice. Her parents have a house on Martha’s Vineyard and I swear to god every fucking sentence out of this frau’s mouth is “At my house in Martha’s Vineyard….” She works in finance and is wan. She should be cultured but is not. She is a picky eater. She wears black to weddings. She is very rude as well!

by Anonymousreply 7November 26, 2021 5:22 PM

She has absolutely no sense of humor, but thinks she and her family have a “really sophisticated sense of humor” as she told me the very first time we met. She seems on the spectrum. Her family is pushy and horribly self-aggrandizing.

by Anonymousreply 8November 26, 2021 5:26 PM

Since she's wan, might I suggest iron infusions?

by Anonymousreply 9November 26, 2021 5:26 PM

"She is wan."

LOLOLOLOLOLOL

by Anonymousreply 10November 26, 2021 5:29 PM

I sense incestuous jealousy, resentment, and bitterness.

by Anonymousreply 11November 26, 2021 5:33 PM

I would just get her a box of ping pong balls to remind her of the time that Bunny Bixler and she had to call off the very finals of the tournament. It will ghastly, just ghastly!

by Anonymousreply 12November 26, 2021 5:39 PM

She’s a nasally, rude, Yankee automaton. She level-jumped and sent me a Christmas “gift” before they were even engaged. It was shoddily wrapped, and was a folded up piece of printout paper in a Paul Stuart gift box for $50 to some skin care website. It was so trashy on so many different levels.

by Anonymousreply 13November 26, 2021 5:41 PM

OP, would you happen to have access to said cunt's car brakes?

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by Anonymousreply 14November 26, 2021 5:41 PM

Get her this beautiful mug from the University of North Texas.

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by Anonymousreply 15November 26, 2021 5:44 PM

Her mother tells people in the first 5 minutes of meeting that she (the mother) was “the most beautiful baby” anyone in her parents’ acquaintance had ever seen. I swear to god.

Her father is short and has blindingly white bleached teeth. They both behaved trashily to my relations.

by Anonymousreply 16November 26, 2021 5:46 PM

Get her somethink from this link...

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by Anonymousreply 17November 26, 2021 5:47 PM

A pot of jam silly.

by Anonymousreply 18November 26, 2021 5:48 PM

She also drops these lines about her family coming over on the Mayflower so often that I think her grandfather must have been a binman from Wigan.

by Anonymousreply 19November 26, 2021 5:51 PM

There is something so exceedingly false about her entire self and clan that I can’t bear to even acknowledge their existence.

by Anonymousreply 20November 26, 2021 5:54 PM

People like OP love meeting women they don't like, because it gives them permission to go full-on misogynist. "Cunty," "hag," "cunt," "bitch," all in one post.

by Anonymousreply 21November 26, 2021 5:59 PM

Perhaps a bag of sarin-coated rice, delivered in a Coach purse?

by Anonymousreply 22November 26, 2021 6:12 PM

My brother called me in the cardiac ICU to tell me they were engaged - they were driving, and when my brother put the bitch on the phone, she didn’t even say “How are you?” or “Oh my god, are you ok?” She just launched into a whine about their engagement.

by Anonymousreply 23November 26, 2021 6:15 PM

You should take a writing class.

by Anonymousreply 24November 26, 2021 6:17 PM

Why would you need to send her a gift? White people 🤦🏻‍♂️

by Anonymousreply 25November 26, 2021 6:32 PM

If she's in finance, send money. People in finance love money.

by Anonymousreply 26November 26, 2021 6:32 PM

I just want my hair done, quickly and quietly.

by Anonymousreply 27November 26, 2021 7:22 PM

That kind of seems on your brother r23. Maybe wait a bit to give the all important news. And don't be the kind of person that just has to call people when you're driving. Stop that shit.

by Anonymousreply 28November 26, 2021 7:53 PM

Send her some exotic money, from Mexico or Canada or someplace she's probably never been.

by Anonymousreply 29November 26, 2021 7:59 PM

R12 attributes Gloria Upson’s lines to Mame.

Rip her to shreds!

by Anonymousreply 30November 26, 2021 8:00 PM

Give her a card saying that you will be using the money you were going to spend on her gift to buy yourself a book on how to overcome your misogyny. She'll love it more than anything you could've gotten her!

by Anonymousreply 31November 26, 2021 8:06 PM

Buy her the book miss manners and put on the card" i thought you could use this "

by Anonymousreply 32November 26, 2021 8:06 PM

Why do you have to buy her a separate gift? What are you, 12? You just give the couple a gift.

by Anonymousreply 33November 26, 2021 8:08 PM

Oh, also ask if her relatives ride was in the bottom of the mayflower

by Anonymousreply 34November 26, 2021 8:09 PM

Give her something you buy at one of the stands in Faneuil Hall, like one of those scarves that can turn into a dress, for when she summers on Martha's Vineyard.

by Anonymousreply 35November 26, 2021 8:10 PM

give her some grape seeds for that vineyard she's always going on about.

by Anonymousreply 36November 26, 2021 8:17 PM

[quote]Since I’m Now Obliged

OP, this is your problem. You're pathetic. Who cut your balls off? You're an embarrassment to men everywhere.

by Anonymousreply 37November 26, 2021 8:23 PM

Buy her a box of menopause relief pills.

by Anonymousreply 38November 26, 2021 8:31 PM

Buy her books! They're so decorative!

by Anonymousreply 39November 26, 2021 8:38 PM

Tell her you made a donation in her honor to a charity you love.

by Anonymousreply 40November 26, 2021 8:44 PM

R40 The Human Fund

by Anonymousreply 41November 26, 2021 8:48 PM

A well-executed bitch slap is all the gift she needs, dear OP.

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by Anonymousreply 42November 26, 2021 8:58 PM

0/10.

by Anonymousreply 43November 26, 2021 9:04 PM

The racially motivated "basic bitch" slur was started by jealous, obese black women. Apparently, shaving your eyebrows off and drawing them on, wearing overly long plastic nails, drawing unblended lines down the side of overly wide noses and wearing weaves made from hair acquired from the shorn heads of impoverished third world women who actually are being oppressed is preferable to being an attractive white woman with real hair..

by Anonymousreply 44November 26, 2021 9:19 PM

I've noticed a lot of gay men on this site seem to hate their sister-in-laws intensely. Like, it's very common.

by Anonymousreply 45November 26, 2021 11:10 PM

Tell her that since her ancestors came over on the Mayflower, she has inherited a legacy of genocide and you have, therefore, donated money to the Native American Rights Fund in her name to help offset her blood-stained lineage.

by Anonymousreply 46November 27, 2021 12:04 AM

I finally saw Queen Bee yesterday r42, and that slap is even more perfect. "Oh I'm so perky and so happy and so pleased for everyone." A bitch slap was the only reasonable option.

by Anonymousreply 47November 27, 2021 12:14 AM

Your brother's already given her your syphilis, OP.

What more does she need?

by Anonymousreply 48November 27, 2021 12:21 AM

Darling,

Give her something meaningful and lovely from your side. Maybe a family recipe your brother cherishes and a lovely dish in which to make it. Maybe a beautiful travel book about the area where you and your brother spent your summers as children with your grandparents. If she is so proud about her lineage and home, share yours. It is not a challenge, or Morse code, but simply meeting her where she lives.

by Anonymousreply 49November 27, 2021 12:33 AM

... or, if you're feeling cunty, a clearance Autumnal scented candle with the price tag half ripped off from TJ maxx, or the like. I love giving a really obviously thoughtless gift to women I hate.

by Anonymousreply 50November 27, 2021 12:35 AM

Don't give her anything. I don't even acknowledge my brother-in-law anymore, and haven't for five years. This comes after almost two decades of trying, and trying to make the relationship work. He's a toxic asshole man child who has problems he refuses to address.

I cut him out of my life. He's dead to me. My sister knows why, and we don't talk about it. But we still get along just fine.

by Anonymousreply 51November 27, 2021 12:58 AM

This gift says it all!!! It's says, "You're a worthless cheap whore and you stink!!!!"

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by Anonymousreply 52November 27, 2021 1:02 AM

Get her an "I love Martha's Vineyard" T-shirt. In extra-large.

by Anonymousreply 53November 27, 2021 1:06 AM

I haven't met her, OP, but so far you sound like a bitch. Bitches shouldn't buy presents for bitches.

by Anonymousreply 54November 27, 2021 1:11 AM

Send a family gift. Food. Why do you need to buy people stuff they don’t need - cunt or not a cunt

by Anonymousreply 55November 27, 2021 1:23 AM

Give her some Diptyque candles that are half burned. I actually saw this happen at a party ,and until the day I die I'll never forget the face of the woman who got that gift !

by Anonymousreply 56November 27, 2021 1:27 AM

If you don’t have money to waste, get her a Visa gift card and put it inside the most generic card from CVS you can find. When she opens it, say, oh my gosh, I forgot to sign the card, that’s from me!

If you have money to waste, two options:

First, get her some very luxurious but very personal item she’d likely want to choose for herself, like perfume or shampoo. Make it something that would be hard to return or exchange. There is nothing more frustrating than getting a $75 bottle of shampoo you’ll never use and can’t return.

Second, get her an absolutely hideous accessory, like a scarf or pair of earrings. When she opens it, say “I was walking by a store, saw this in the window, and it reminded me so much of your style, I just HAD to get it! It’s like it was made for you!”

by Anonymousreply 57November 27, 2021 1:33 AM

Do you know how to crochet? There are some really hideous crochet earring patterns out there. There are some nice ones - avoid those. It you don't know how to crochet, even better. You want them sloppy and terrible.

by Anonymousreply 58November 27, 2021 2:49 AM

Congrats on the new bipolar SIL, OP. Decades of torture ahead for you. Your brother must be a Prince as well.

Make a donation to a charity in her name for Xmas. She'll loathe it

The stocking stuffer can be found at the Dollar Tree for $1.25.

by Anonymousreply 59November 27, 2021 3:09 AM

R52 I'm confused. I use this product daily as classy lady refresher. This is good, no? You say this perfume is insult?

by Anonymousreply 60November 27, 2021 3:12 AM

R58 I believe we have a professional crocheter who posts here perhaps he can help. But he is adamant that he MUST be paid.

by Anonymousreply 61November 27, 2021 3:13 AM

Just get her a generic and bland gift don't over think it. And if he's anything like my cousin, be prepared for a situation years down the road when they finally get a divorce . And your brother can't stop bitching about all of her horrible qualities, that were visible from space to everyone else for years. If she truly is awful, then by then everyone in his circle will be alienated and unsympathetic towards him.

by Anonymousreply 62November 27, 2021 3:17 AM

The best gifts for her: wrinkle cream, thesaurus, and a gym membership

by Anonymousreply 63November 27, 2021 3:20 AM

Why does your brother have such bad taste? He must not be that great if he chose this drip of a slag to hitch his dreams to.

by Anonymousreply 64November 27, 2021 3:22 AM

OP I feel like I saw this movie. Did it star Sarah Jessica Parker?

by Anonymousreply 65November 27, 2021 3:28 AM

OP: why are you obliged to send her a gift? Just don't. And let the chips fall where they may. You might even get lucky and she will refuse to speak to you ever again.

btw, I loathe my SIL too and I never bother with her--she turned my brother into an asshole, so fuck them both.

by Anonymousreply 66November 27, 2021 3:33 AM

Obliged??? Did you sign some sort of contract?

by Anonymousreply 67November 27, 2021 4:36 AM

Take a shit in a paper bag and leave it on the front porch! Set it on fire, ring the doorbell, and RUN!!!!!!

by Anonymousreply 68November 27, 2021 4:37 AM

[quote] OP: why are you obliged to send her a gift? Just don't.

Exactly, I’ve never heard of such a thing. You send the couple a gift, not to each person individually.

by Anonymousreply 69November 27, 2021 5:18 AM

I cannot stand her flinty voice. “Have you been to the Cotswolds? They’re rally nyce. Yeaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh.”

Maybe I get her some koto records.

by Anonymousreply 70November 27, 2021 5:36 AM

Give her an expensive skin care product, and rave about how another female friend has the most beautiful skin and uses this product. Saint Jane for example. Implied: her skin needs improvement.

Or, give her one of the Assouline coffee table books, Capri, Provence etc. Tell her it looks like the most exquisite place in the world. Implied: Martha's Vineyard isn't all that, bish.

by Anonymousreply 71November 27, 2021 5:40 AM

r44, you sound like a basic bitch.

OP, gift the basic bitch a potato of the month subscription and done with it.

by Anonymousreply 72November 27, 2021 10:19 AM

THIS IS VIOLENCE, I TELL YOU! LITERAL VIOLENCE!!!

by Anonymousreply 73November 27, 2021 11:10 PM

If you do go for clothing, like some DLers suggested, then make sure you size up - tell her you deliberately sized up because you've noticed her extra weight, then congratulate her on her "pregnancy".

by Anonymousreply 74November 27, 2021 11:24 PM

Send her a bowel movement.

by Anonymousreply 75November 27, 2021 11:27 PM

R74 Brilliant !!!

by Anonymousreply 76November 27, 2021 11:32 PM

Thank you, R76. I didn't even know I could be that cunty.

by Anonymousreply 77November 27, 2021 11:47 PM
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