The Datalounge Thanksgiving Parade Float

The Chrissy Metz balloon would just be regular Chrissy wearing a caftan and tethered to her handlers by a series of Twizzlers.

Obviously, she's pumped full of helium.

It would a hoisted caftan presenting hole while little elves carrying freshly baked cookies would utter the word, "yum."

*it would feature

It would feature Helen Lawson alternating between blowing kisses and giving the finger to the crowds as she shouts “Kiss my ass, motherfuckers!”

It would be tasteful, of course.

[quote]Obviously, she's pumped full of helium.

In real life, she's pumped full of gravy.

R1, I imagine all the people holding the ropes are dressed as snack purses

An endless loop of hissing and shrieking piped in.

No float this year. :( The committee agreed that it should be a giant, erect penis, but then got into a bloody battle over whether it should be cut or uncut.

Every two blocks the float would come to a halt so that a number from FOLLIES could be performed live.

Naturally, onlookers would delight in sharing their first hand experiences of seeing the original Broadway production and subsequent fights would ensue over who they thought performed it better.

We'll walk down the avenue til we're there!

The hole, kids, the showing hole.

Madonna's face, plumped up with fillers

It will resemble Matt Damon's fat butt

Just a reminder that phallic painting on the Pinocchio balloon will *not* be tolerated.

It will resemble Chris Christie's gunt

Performance art along the parade route.

OH BOY! Thish ish shuch a fantashtic dishplay of Thankshgiving cheer! I'm jusht ecshtatic to.......NEEEeeew YAAAWK!

Where’s the supply of Adderall? Miss Minnelli is having “sh-eizures”. Call the medics!

We’ll need a few handy gals who know how to hook up the float to a big Ford pickup and we’ll need one real dependable gal to drive it.

I would waving copious amounts of pot,silly!

It would feature a large stock pot with the remains of Greg, his Cod (dildo), Ragu and prunes. It would also need many air fresheners nearby for obvious reasons.

Cockgobbler in a speedo waving to the crows and periodically presenting his dirty hole

Boris, fat and slovenly, would be on the float in a cage rabidly yelling anti-trans slogans while at the same time spamming DataLounge on a busted up laptop.