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Dealing with difficult relatives

Apparently the solution to handling a Thanksgiving troll is to ridicule them and then request a food item to be passed AS AGGRESSIVELY AS POSSIBLE.

"Argumentative people don’t want a discussion: they want a fight. They want to get under your skin. Don’t engage.

“You’re nuts, but Ok. Pass the potatoes.” Defuse, disarm, laugh it off."

PASS THE POTATOES. Translation: die!!!!

Uncle Ragey will surely chuckle at the suggestion he is "nuts" and will definitely not fling the potatoes as hard as he can against your face, set fire to you, and murder everyone in the room.

by Anonymousreply 28November 26, 2021 6:59 AM

It’s hard to thread the needle between not letting offensive comments pass, but not wasting your time or ruining a gathering’s mood over a shitty relative who won’t actually change his mind.

“Kyle Rittenhouse blah blah blah”

“You know, I can’t stand the thought of encouraging people with emotional problems to arm themselves with guns and take to the streets, but I’ve been so busy with hobby/work that I didn’t follow that trial specifically. Haven’t you been learning how to play golf—how’s that going?”

by Anonymousreply 1November 25, 2021 1:19 PM

Ho Ho ho, r1, as if Uncle Ragey or Cousin Combative will let THAT pass!!

by Anonymousreply 2November 25, 2021 1:30 PM

OP you seriously need to grow up

by Anonymousreply 3November 25, 2021 1:33 PM

Why do you all clientele with these dreadful people?

by Anonymousreply 4November 25, 2021 1:36 PM

I was thinking about how much is going on right now and how many heated debates/discussions/arguments there will be today at the T-Day table.

Rittenhouse...smash-and-grabs by the gangs...the Christmas parade guy...inflation...chain of distribution issues...

Should make for interesting conversations...

by Anonymousreply 5November 25, 2021 1:41 PM

In our family we were taught NEVER to discuss politics or money. It makes for civilized gathering.

by Anonymousreply 6November 25, 2021 1:45 PM

Anything you'd like to share about politics, religion, or foreign policy, while you're unloading your mind grapes, r3?

by Anonymousreply 7November 25, 2021 1:54 PM

vicious face slapping allowed

by Anonymousreply 8November 25, 2021 1:56 PM

In our family, as soon as someone starts on a rant, somebody starts singing a certain silly song, others join in, and that shuts down the rant while annoying the hell out of the ranter.

by Anonymousreply 9November 25, 2021 2:01 PM

1mg Xanax and as much whiskey as you can drink. You won't remember a thing and you'll giggle away the meal.

by Anonymousreply 10November 25, 2021 2:23 PM

R6 all my middle-class relatives talk about is money—investments, property, bargains they’ve found, the rising costs of living. It makes me squirm, I can’t stand it.

by Anonymousreply 11November 25, 2021 2:26 PM

Or just don't go! I go home for Easter, which is a much more laid back holiday than today or Christmas. Life is too short; don't go somewhere on a holiday where you don't want to be, and/or with people you don't want to be with.

by Anonymousreply 12November 25, 2021 2:52 PM

Just remember, no matter how bad it is, it’s nothing like what Princess Diana went through.

by Anonymousreply 13November 25, 2021 2:55 PM

I found the perfect solution, I informed them years ago that I would be no longer hosting the holidays and wasn't interested in coming to the holidays at their house, best decision I ever made, but then I have no problem being alone. Alone doesn't mean lonely.

by Anonymousreply 14November 25, 2021 3:02 PM

Agreed r14!

by Anonymousreply 15November 25, 2021 3:10 PM

[quote] PASS THE POTATOES. Translation: die!!!!

You could get very fat that way though if there are a lot of argumentative people at the table.

by Anonymousreply 16November 25, 2021 3:11 PM

I snuggle alone warm in bed, no heat because I’m poor, tapping away on my iPhone writing whatever, just inhabiting my mind, my only sometimes friend …

Remembering Jessica Tandy in movie where Morgan Freeman plays her driver, as he spoons pumpkin pie into her mouth at the rest hime, “ You are my only friend “

by Anonymousreply 17November 25, 2021 3:19 PM

Don't go. Life is too short to spend it with people you don't like and whose relationship to you is a genetic accident. If you're like me, it will take several days to shake these people off. If there's an old relative you love who is near death or you have nieces and nephews you care about, see them during the year.

The same goes for Xmas. I wish R17 a happy holiday.

by Anonymousreply 18November 25, 2021 4:46 PM

Thanksgiving is a stupid artificial ritual perpetuated by a mindset of conformity.

by Anonymousreply 19November 25, 2021 5:02 PM

You could say that about every holiday, r19

by Anonymousreply 20November 25, 2021 5:03 PM

It's better to be alone than to wish you were. I changed my phone number.

by Anonymousreply 21November 25, 2021 5:14 PM

It is ok to skip it and have a day alone, eating and doing what you like.

Or go and try to exist as a detached observer.

by Anonymousreply 22November 25, 2021 6:00 PM

I would opt out. That should be one of the perqs of being an adult. Why supply assholes with captive audiences who are trained from childhood to be polite?

by Anonymousreply 23November 25, 2021 6:21 PM

For Christ's sake, you're a fuckin' grown up, state your boundaries and if they don't respect it, call them out on it or leave.

by Anonymousreply 24November 25, 2021 6:52 PM

BEGONE, r24! I command thee!

by Anonymousreply 25November 25, 2021 8:07 PM

Today I slept in. Had a latte and scone and walked my dogs. Watched a movie, helped a friend make stuffing to bring to her relatives' house, walked the dogs again and had spaghetti carbonara for a late lunch.

In my basement fridge is roast turkey, Brussel sprouts, dressing, gravy, mashed potatoes and pie from Whole Foods. I may have it today or over the weekend.

I do not have to put up with my blowhard Republican brother and his wife, the queen of Fibromyalgia. I don't have to go to anyone's house and be obligated to charm people I've never met. This may be the best Thanksgiving I've ever had.

And I wish the same to all of you.

by Anonymousreply 26November 25, 2021 8:17 PM

Cheers, r26!

by Anonymousreply 27November 25, 2021 9:00 PM

"You could say that about every holiday, [R19]"


by Anonymousreply 28November 26, 2021 6:59 AM
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