Help, I just stole a turkey! And I'm a little drunk.
I've never stolen anything before in my life. I'm terrified someone saw me and will call the police. I keep waiting for the sirens and flashing lights, but I'm also worried that if the police come they may park far away from my house and not use their sirens to catch me unawares.
I have 8-11 guests arriving at my home for Thanksgiving dinner, many traveling from out of town. I really need to impress.
I had been working on my turkey for days--defrosting, seasoning, basting, looking up recipes. Well, I was having a few cocktails in the kitchen and set the oven a few hundred degrees too high and put it on broil instead of bake. As you can imagine, my turkey caught fire! I had to toss it in the yard behind the trees.
It's dark out, so no one seemed to notice. Then, I saw my neighbors' house. I could see the neighbor wife in the kitchen because they never close the curtain. She was basting the most beautiful large turkey. It looked perfectly cooked! I know they never lock their doors, so I waited until they turned off the lights, then I crept into the neighbors' yard, entered through their sliding-glass kitchen back door, and I STOLE the turkey my neighbors' had cooked.
It's a beautiful turkey! Likely, it will be the best I've ever served. Is there anything I should be doing to make sure I can pull this off and get away with it? How soon before I know if I'm in the clear? What do I say if my neighbors happen to mention that their turkey was stolen from their kitchen? If I'm lucky, they will blame each other, and never suspect me.
I'm starting to feel really guilty, since I realize I could have likely just bought another turkey at Walmart or served chicken. I'm really tempted to try to sneak back into my neighbors' house to return the turkey.
Any advice you could offer would be appreciated! What should I do?